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Carie & Ross
Do you and your friends speak in movie quotes? Do you trade Spongebob memes back and forth with your loved ones? Do you have to rely on the ”Are You Still Watching?” message to let you know it’s time to bathe and stop procrastinating? If you answered yes to any (or all) of these questions, come hang out with us every other week! Media can play a huge role in shaping who we are. Sometimes it makes us idolize Jeff Goldblum as a sex symbol. Sometimes a lack of representation makes you feel invisible. As hosts, siblings Carie and Ross will analyze this phenomenon by breaking down a favorite movie or television show and how the sights, sounds, and messages of media have followed our generation throughout our lives. So pour your favorite beverage, relax, and explore how our shared experiences with movies and television messed us up as a generation. There will be laughter, there will be sadness, and THERE WILL BE discussions about homosexual subtext in children’s animation. Theme Song by Tune Tank: https://tunetank.com/tracks/5611-vacation
Total 307 episodes
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Amadeus or: How I Fell in Love with Classical Music (Pt.2)

Amadeus or: How I Fell in Love with Classical Music (Pt.2)

Who's ready to listen to Salieri whine some more? It goes off the rails this week, lil onions, as we conclude our two-part coverage of Amadeus (1984). Carie gets really granular with Mozart's infamous Requiem Mass and Mozart's creative process. Ross continues to bemoan Salieri's inability to just enjoy another's success. The siblings also expand on the circumstances of Mozart's demise.  RELATED MEDIA: Great Music Explained SUPPORT US ON PATREON!
01:13:2725/11/2024
Amadeus or: How I Fell in Love with Classical Music (Pt.1)

Amadeus or: How I Fell in Love with Classical Music (Pt.1)

The vibes are bad this week, lil onions! Today we begin our two-part coverage of Milos Forman's Amadeus (1984), a WILDLY fictionalized tale of a feud between composers Antonio Sallieri, and his much more beloved contemporary Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Ross has the ick about Sallieri from the beginning, and shows a paraphilic fondness of Mozart's actual hair color. Carie takes a turn doing her version of Ross' History Corner with some important asterisks about the film's liberties with musical history. And the siblings are completely OVER Sallieri being theoretically CUCKED, both by Mozart and by God Himself.  SUPPORT US ON PATREON! 
01:28:0918/11/2024
Evita or: How I Learned Movie Musicals Can Be Boring

Evita or: How I Learned Movie Musicals Can Be Boring

Don't cry for us, lil onions! We promise it's not gonna be a two-hour episode this time! Today is part musical, part Ross' History Corner as we break down the film adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber's dynamic musical biopic about the most enduring public figure in Argentina's history, Evita (1996). Ross (and the character of Che) recount the demonstrably corrupt way Eva Duarte became the center of Argentine ideology and iconography through her marriage to Colonel Juan Peron in the mid-20th century. Carie can't actually believe that she's BORED by one of her favorite genres, movie musicals. Not to mention the siblings always tucking their hair behind their ear about the everything that is Antonio Banderas.  PLEASE SUPPORT US ON PATREON! 
01:40:0111/11/2024
V for Vendetta or: How I Learned Governments Should Be Afraid of Their People

V for Vendetta or: How I Learned Governments Should Be Afraid of Their People

It's a long one....maybe the longest we've ever had. But it's important. Today the siblings are unpacking Alan Moore's dense and almost impossible-to-adapt, V For Vendetta (2005). While the source material is gross, Ross is still here for the vendetta in question. Like to the poitn where the Secret Service might show up on Carie's doorstep but who knows. And the siblings are constantly aware of the world that might be tomorrow...and what will that bring? I do not know what to say. Just take care of yourselves and each other. 
01:56:2604/11/2024
Beetlejuice or: How I Learned to Haunt Ethically

Beetlejuice or: How I Learned to Haunt Ethically

It's big core this week, lil onions. We are ending Spookaween right with Beetlejuice (1988), a hilariously dark and campy film about a bioexorcist who helps a recently deceased couple expel the living from their Connecticut farm house. Ross is hair-on-fire excited to talk about how Delia Deets is both the moment and the problem, Carie is here for the craftsmanship of a Tim Burton production, and the siblings are ready to have a dance party for the Harry Belafonte moment of this film. And don't forget, the siblings will be reviewing the sequel to this movie, Beetlejuice Beetlejuice (2024) later this month on PATREON!  SUPPORT US ON PATREON!   
01:40:0228/10/2024
The Conjuring or: How James Wan Did Amityville Horror

The Conjuring or: How James Wan Did Amityville Horror

There's no ifs ands or buts about it this week, lil onions. James Wan just really wanted to do the Amityville Horror and didn't care very much if it would be clocked by viewers like you. But more importantly, James Wan's spectacular fan service for Ed and Lorraine Warren are on full display this week as we cover The Conjuring (2013). Carie is entirely caught up in Ed Warren's crimes against women, Ross is predictably in love with the music, and the siblings are forever living in the moment when they went to see this in the theater with MOM
01:23:3521/10/2024
The Descent or: How I Learned Spelunking is Dumb

The Descent or: How I Learned Spelunking is Dumb

Claustrophobics need not apply this week, lil onions! We're breaking down one of Carie's all-time favorite horror films, The Descent (2005). We follow the journey of a group of female spelunkers as the traverse an unknown cave system and disturb the ancient horrors within. Carie is overwhelmed by the physical display of badassitude on behalf of the all-female cast, Ross is on the Juno For Death 2005 campaign for the entire film, and the siblings discuss how the film's two different endings impact the overall narrative.   
01:27:0114/10/2024
The Silence of the Lambs or: How I Learned the FBI Benefits from Women

The Silence of the Lambs or: How I Learned the FBI Benefits from Women

Better late than never, right lil onions? This week, we're breaking down Johnathan Demme's thriller classic, The Silence of the Lambs (1991). We follow junior FBI agent in training, Clarice Starling, through her journey to become one of the "big boys" in capturing one of the most notorious fictional serial killers, Buffalo Bill. Ross has all the feelings about Jodie Foster's performance as Clarice Starling, as well as the production team for doing this subject justice. Carie is super overwhelmed by the aggressive close-up shots and the narrative dynamic between Clarice and Hannibal the Cannibal. There is also some light discourse on the transphobia of this movie, but please visit the sources in the related media, bc the siblings are for sure not qualified to discuss them in depth.  Related Media: 30 years ago, The Silence of the Lambs added to cinema's trans legacy whether it meant to or not Understanding Silence of the Lambs’ complicated cultural legacy 30 years in, The Silence Of The Lambs’ Jame Gumb still deserves better
01:54:5311/10/2024
Saltburn or: How I Came to Fear Barry Keoghan

Saltburn or: How I Came to Fear Barry Keoghan

This is a long one, lil onions, but we could just not do a two-parter. We cannot be prolonging this!!! Because this week, we are unpacking Emerald Fennel's extremely disturbing, one of a kind thriller, Saltburn (2023). The siblings ride the roller coaster of the film following protagonist, Oliver Quick, from Oxford University to the mysterious summer estate of Saltburn to spend the summer with his new friend, Felix. Moment to moment, you can't be sure what happens next, and it's disconcerting. Ross can't get over the levels of depravity characters will abide, Carie is caught up in the ridiculous depth of the bathshit narrative, and the siblings are once again requesting emotional damages from the film's production team. 
01:56:1330/09/2024
Black Swan or: How I Learned Natalie Portman Could Dance Ballet

Black Swan or: How I Learned Natalie Portman Could Dance Ballet

Ross' barn door is off its hinges this week as we break down one of his top ten favorite films, Darren Aronofsky's Black Swan (2010). Black Swan follows the journey of Nina Sayers who has lofty aspirations of dancing both the Black and White Swans in Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake, but the part may turn out to be more than she can handle. Ross goes gaga for all the symbolism baked into the crust of the film, Carie is big icked by all of the disgusting body horror as Nina makes her transformation, and the siblings are in awe of the Oscar-winning performance that gave Natalie Portman a seat at the big kids' table. 
01:41:0623/09/2024
Flightplan or: The First Time Ross Was Gaslit by a Film

Flightplan or: The First Time Ross Was Gaslit by a Film

Continuing with our theme of thrillers for Ross' birthday month, we cover one of his favorites, Flightplan (2005), the movie about how it is in fact possible to lose your child on an airplane. Jodie Foster stars as engine propulsion engineer, Kyle Pratt, who is distraught to awaken to find her daughter missing while on a double decker airplane. Prepare to be gaslit, both on Kyle's behalf and as an audience. Ross fawns over the tone the movie sets up from the jump, Carie gets super jazzed by the fim's catharsis, and the siblings are in collective awe at the amount of airplane specs there are. 
01:29:0816/09/2024
Knowing or: How I Learned to Prophesize the End of the World

Knowing or: How I Learned to Prophesize the End of the World

What do you get when you combine Nicholas Cage, solar flares, and a meticulous tabulation of every major disaster over the past 50 years? Alex Proyas' Knowing (2009). What starts off as an interesting tale about a little girl who could see the future slowly but surely descends into a otherworldly mess when Nicholas Cage and his Macaulay of a Culkin child team up with Rose Byrne to solve the mystery of a list of numbers left in a time capsule by her mother. Ross defends the movie until he can't, Carie is actually surprised to be feeling things for Nick Cage, and the siblings are once again poised to consider the concept of what the afterlife may actually mean.  SUPPORT US ON PATREON! We're already into our West Wing MS scandal arc coverage, and it's honestly worth it just to hear Ross be mad. 
01:20:4309/09/2024
The West Wing Pilot or: How I Fell in Love with Political Dramas [REBROADCAST]

The West Wing Pilot or: How I Fell in Love with Political Dramas [REBROADCAST]

HI LIL ONIONS! No new episode this week, but we are rerunning an old episode on the pilot of Aaron Sorkin and NBC's The West Wing ahead of our PATREON coverage of the multiple sclerosis scandal arc of the show. Revisiting this episode four years later has left us with one refrain: My how the tables turn...The optimism we feel in this episode has by now turned to disillusionment and despair. But we hope you enjoy this rebroadcast and encourage you to check out our coverage of the MS West Wing arc over on Patreon. We'd love to see more of you over there. Please support us at the link below!  SUPPORT US ON PATREON PLEASE!  Original description: This week we take a long-winded stab at covering television. Our resident West Wing scholar, Ross, is here to tell us how this show came to be, how it stands up to history, and the craft of Aaron Sorkin. Carie is mostly here to fawn over Robe Lowe.  Related Media: The West Wing Weekly;   
01:09:0002/09/2024
Aladdin or: How I Learned to Beeeeee Myself

Aladdin or: How I Learned to Beeeeee Myself

**Let's try this again, with the CORRECT export file... This week, Carie is offending Ross' OCD by choosing a Disney film, Aladdin (1992) despite previous intentions of grouping them together. Carie defends this choice by lauding the amazing performance of her fave, Robin Williams, as the genie. Ross gets frustrated with multiple plot elements that make less than perfect sense, even for a children's film. The siblings get back to the root cause of why the film traumatized Ross in the first place, and then of course the bonus treat of Ross' unsolicited rant about Disney remakes.  SUPPORT US ON PATREON (PLEASE?) Related Media: Middle Eastern Oil Lamps
01:37:4626/08/2024
What Dreams May Come or: How I Learned to Navigate the Afterlife

What Dreams May Come or: How I Learned to Navigate the Afterlife

WHO'S READY TO SOB? Seriously, like more than once. This week, in a very trigger-heavy episode, the siblings unpack one of Robin Williams' more devastating films, What Dreams May Come (1998). Carie puts Ross through the emotional woodchipper that is the story of Chris Nielsen and his family's arduous journey from life to death to ACTUAL Hell. Carie has some reading from the book the movie is based upon, Ross completely derails the recording over a Family Guy bit, and the siblings consider what they might look like in the afterlife.  Help is available. Speak with someone today 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Languages: English, Spanish Hours: Available 24 hours   SUPPORT US ON PATREON! 
01:30:3819/08/2024
Bicentennial Man or: How I Learned Ross Wouldn't Give "Robots" Rights

Bicentennial Man or: How I Learned Ross Wouldn't Give "Robots" Rights

Celebrate the life and career of the late Robin Williams with us today on a day of remembrance following the date of his death on August 11, 2014. We're talking about Bicentennial Man (1999), the turn-of-the-century film that brings Issac Asimov's 1976 novel to the silver screen. The film follows Andrew, a NDR 114 model android who embarks on a 200 year journey towards becoming human. Carie is understandably endeared by the vulnerable performance of her favorite actor of all time, while simultaneously being annoyed with the pacing and often inelegant writing. Ross is digging his heels in on the hypothetical of robots naturally evolving through what Asimov called "the ghost in the machine," and the siblings accidentally uncover the fact that I, Robot (2004), and Home Alone (1990) occur in the same cinematic universe. RELATED MEDIA: Isaac Asimov's concept of the Ghost in the Machine  SUPPORT US ON PATREON!    
01:38:1812/08/2024
Patch Adams or: How I Fell in Love with Pablo Neruda

Patch Adams or: How I Fell in Love with Pablo Neruda

It's all Robin Williams all the time this August! The siblings kicking off Carie's birthday month with a film about a  charmingly funny and outrageously sad tale of a medical student whose treatment philosophy included a clown nose and laughter, Patch Adams (1998). Ross finds the ethical implications of some of his practices troubling, while Carie gets fussy over certain Hollywood revisions to the real Patch Adams' life story, all while the siblings remember Robin Williams for his deeply dimensional acting prowess.  Related Media: The Gesundheit! Institute SUPPORT US ON PATREON!
01:33:0905/08/2024
Zero Dark Thirty or: How I Learned How to Catch UBM

Zero Dark Thirty or: How I Learned How to Catch UBM

Ho-boy, major TRIGGER WARNING this week, lil onions. A lot of this is far from palatable. This week, we close out our theme of war-adjacent films with the political action thriller, Zero Dark Thirty (2012). Ross has the down low on Osama Bin Laden, his minions, and their tradecraft. Carie constantly vacillates between boredom and horror. Worst of all, the siblings have the unpleasant experience of reflecting on just how terrible the last two decades have been.  SUPPORT US ON PATREON! 
01:20:2629/07/2024
War Games or: How to Win at Tic-Tac-Toe

War Games or: How to Win at Tic-Tac-Toe

The technology nostalgia is aging us today, lil Onions. This week, we go down another rabbit hole of information technology and artificial intelligence in the suprisingly dated film, War Games (1983). In addition to the archaic methods of hacking and computer science in this film, Ross is also deeply affected by the existence of Matthew Broderick. Carie cautions listeners about the dangers of becoming complacent and apathetic in the face of destruction. There's a special appreciation for a previous generation who lived every day with the threat of a breakdown of society, and the siblings have a conversation about a hypotetical scenario involving themselves, Matthew Broderick, and Jennifer Grey escaping the Earth in an escape pod.  SUPPORT US ON PATREON! 
01:17:2522/07/2024
Elizabeth the Golden Age or: The Extremely Disappointing Sequel

Elizabeth the Golden Age or: The Extremely Disappointing Sequel

This week, the siblings are disenchanted with the sequel to a much beloved film, Elizabeth (1998), Elizabeth: the Golden Age (2007). Not only does Sir Walter Raleigh leave much to be desired in Elizabeth I reign, but we're just not sure about the fact that this is three films haphazardly sewn together. Yes, it's Return of the Jesuits, but is it really the same commentary about a woman's hard-earned ascension to the throne of England?  SUPPORT US ON PATREON!
01:27:4115/07/2024
Olympus Has Fallen or: How I Learned to Trust(?) Gerard Butler

Olympus Has Fallen or: How I Learned to Trust(?) Gerard Butler

Ross is kicking off his war-related film theme this week with Olympus Has Fallen (2013) in which he bends over backwards to pay compliment to Angela Bassett and her solitary competency with running the secret service. Carie can't take the lack of writing in the principle project, and the siblings are reminded that it should always be substance over shooty shooty mcbang bang....] SUPPORT US ON PATREON!
01:28:0608/07/2024
Moulin Rouge or: How I Learned the Difference Between Baz and Bad Lurhman

Moulin Rouge or: How I Learned the Difference Between Baz and Bad Lurhman

This week, the siblings finish off #JukeboxJune with one of Carie's sentimental favorites, Baz Lurhman's Moulin Rouge (2001). The siblings dive into the tale of burgeoning love in bohemian Paris at the turn of the 20th century. Carie is immediately caught up in the biconic nature of Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman's touching performances. Ross is moment to moment on what aspect of the film he dislikes the most. Above all, the siblings are locked in a stalemate throughout about whether the film is actually good or if it is simply a movie from times gone by.  SUPPORT US ON PATREON!  
01:31:0124/06/2024
Mamma Mia or: How I Fell in Love with Meryl Streep

Mamma Mia or: How I Fell in Love with Meryl Streep

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, LIL' ONIONS! This week we're continuing #JukeboxJune with a movie that is the epitome of drama and good, low-stakes fun, Mamma Mia (2008). Today, we follow the journey of young bride-to-be, Sophie, on her journey to find her birth father before she gets married. Ross is practically writing a love letter to Meryl Streep throughout the movie, Carie completely ignores Pierce Brosnan's singing in favor of his zaddy-ness, and the siblings are reminded what it means to 2000-and-ATE!!!! Y'ALL SERIOUSLY HAVE TO CHECK OUT ABBA'S DISCOGRAPHY, IF YOU SAY DISCO SUCKS, WE DON'T TRUST YOU.  RELATED MEDIA: CHECK OUT THE MAMMA MIA WRAP PARTY!!! SUPPORT US ON PATREON! 
01:35:1317/06/2024
Happy Feet or: How I Learned There is No Guin

Happy Feet or: How I Learned There is No Guin

*#JukeboxJune continues this week with one of the only non-Disney or Dreamworks animated films to win an Academy Award for Best Animated Film, Happy Feet (2006). Ross has more feelings than predicted about our favorite tap-dancing penguin with Elijah Wood's eyes. Carie is traumatized all over again by the mere existence of elephant seals. Furthermore, the siblings observe what happens when you stop placing your trust in unseen penguin gods and put matters into your own flippers... SUPPORT US ON PATREON! 
01:20:3110/06/2024
Across the Universe or: Thanks for Everything, Julie Taymor

Across the Universe or: Thanks for Everything, Julie Taymor

To kick of a jukebox musical marathon, Carie and Ross attempt to understand how a visually stunning film with fantastic musical arrangements can lose THIRTY MILLION DOLLARS. That's right, it's Across the Universe (2007), a story about a cluster of bohemians navigating the turbulent world of 1960's America. Carie gets excited about Eddie Izzard's fabulous cameo, and less excited about Bono. Ross struggles with the thin narrative and shallow relationships between characters. Salma Hayek is here for no reason? And it would never be a period piece without a little of Ross' History Corner regarding the political pipeline of Richard Nixon to D0nald Trnmp.  RELATED MEDIA: History of the Detroit Uprising DONATE TO THE DETROIT HISTORICAL SOCIETY! SUPPORT QUEER PODCASTS!     
01:36:0703/06/2024
Kiki's Delivery Service or: How I Learned About Creative Burnout

Kiki's Delivery Service or: How I Learned About Creative Burnout

To finish off AniMAY, we're talking about one of Carie's emotional favorite Ghibli films, Kiki's Delivery Service (1989). Ross is full of ennui about the fact that he's not living in a Studio Ghibli postcard, Carie addresses how the movie helps her cope with creative burnout and feelings of helplessness, and the siblings are blessed finally with an anime movie with little to no conflict that is a balm on their scabby, jaded souls.  SUPPORT US ON PATREON!  Later this week, we'll be releasing an episode on the infamous Ghost Stories anime with an English dub so wild, you have to see it to believe it. 
01:23:0627/05/2024
Belle or: How I Learned Not to Go Viral

Belle or: How I Learned Not to Go Viral

This week, Carie made Ross feel something with Belle (2021). We are following the tale of insecure teenager Suzu as she navigates the instant fame her singing voice earns her on the social media site known as U. Ross is moved by the music but cannot get over the logistics of LOGGING ON. Carie is filled to the brim with emotions at the prospect of someone being real on the internet. The solar eclipse comes up somehow? And the siblings remind themselves that you never really know who is behind the keyboard.  SUPPORT US ON PATREON!  Related Media:  CHECK OUT KYLIE McNEILL!!!    
01:40:3920/05/2024
Princess Mononoke or: How I Learned Not to Stray From Nature

Princess Mononoke or: How I Learned Not to Stray From Nature

Calling all WEEBS! This week, lil' onions, we are covering one of Hayao Miyazaki's best films, Princess Mononoke (19  ). Admittedly, Ross did fall asleep in the middle of the movie, and yes, Carie does not have all the answers at the end of the day, but the film is still rife with valuable messages about environmentalism and empathy. Ross is a Yakul the Elk stan from the jump, and Carie tries to underline the uncomfy-ness associated with not knowing who is the real villain... Related Media: Princess Mononoke Revealed: The Real Mythology & History Explained SUPPORT US ON PATREON! 
01:27:0013/05/2024
AKIRA or: How I Learned to Invoke Meatball Mode

AKIRA or: How I Learned to Invoke Meatball Mode

HAPPY ANI-MAY LIL ONIONS!! Ross is very upset, because Carie is putting him through the visual feast of AKIRA (1988). Carie is committed to trying to make this mess of an anime adaptation make sense with Ross pointing out how NOTHING MAKES SENSE. Ross regularly struggles with keeping track of all the many characters—and Carie tries to make a larger metaphor to the idea of energy everlasting. Today's English dub trailer is fan made by YouTube user Konstantin Pichugin! Related Media: Manga vs. Anime: AKIRA EDITION! SUPPORT US ON PATREON!    
01:36:2506/05/2024
St. Elmo's Fire or: How I Became Fascinated with Post-College Life

St. Elmo's Fire or: How I Became Fascinated with Post-College Life

To finish off Brat Pack month, the siblings break down one of the genre's most iconic titles, St. Elmo's Fire (1985). Carie is plagued by the dichotomy of attraction and revulsion to Rob Lowe's character. Ross wants answers for the injustices visited upon Dale Beiberman. By the end, neither sibling was clear on the exact message of the film, and they really hate that Rob Lowe gets exactly what he wants in the end.  SUPPORT US ON PATREON!
01:34:5629/04/2024
The Breakfast Club or: How I Became Nostalgic for the 80's

The Breakfast Club or: How I Became Nostalgic for the 80's

*LIL' ONIONS!* This week we're breaking down one of the greatest classics, John Hughes' iconic film about high school social structure and the effects of clique culture. It's The Breakfast Club (1985), everyone.  Carie recalls fawning over Judd Nelson as a teenager, Ross lays into the walking phallus known as Mr. Vernon, and the siblings remember the valuable lesson the film taught them about judging someone else based on their looks.  SUPPORT US ON PATREON! 
01:24:4122/04/2024
16 Candles or: How I Learned Not All John Hughes Movies Are Good

16 Candles or: How I Learned Not All John Hughes Movies Are Good

OOOF, we are ANGRY this week, lil onions. Ross and Carie have now seen John Hughes' 16 Candles (1984) for the very first time, and WE HAVE SOME NOTES! Carie is indignant on behalf of Molly Ringwald's character, Ross is beside himself over the horrifically unfunny comedy, and the siblings realize that when push comes to shove, they really should have covered Pretty in Pink instead.  SUPPORT US ON PATREON!!!!!!!!
01:21:2115/04/2024
The Outsiders or: How I Learned to Stay Golden

The Outsiders or: How I Learned to Stay Golden

We're kicking off Brat Pack month with the film that is said to have sparked the genre, The Outsiders (1983). The siblings re-examine one of the most central young adult dramas of their school years. Carie experiences the film with a completely different set of eyes, Ross makes a good point regarding the characteristics of the writing, and there will be far too much talk about Gone with the Wind for cinematography reasons.  SUPPORT US ON PATREON! 
01:34:1208/04/2024
Horrible Bosses or: How I Learned About Hostile Work Environments (REBROADCAST)

Horrible Bosses or: How I Learned About Hostile Work Environments (REBROADCAST)

APRIL FOOLS, lil onions! We're actually off this week, but wanted to rerun a favorite episode from our Fool-Ass Films month a few years ago. Please enjoy a rebroadcast of Horrible Bosses or: How I Learned About Hostile Work Environments! If you're starved for new content this week, don't forget you can go support us on Patreon and INSTANTLY get two years of content for just $5 at the Lil' Onion tier.  This week, the siblings break down the new-age American dream--killing your abusive boss. Horrible Bosses is a film about three friends who fumble at the opportunity to eliminate their three problematic bosses from their lives. The siblings cringe at some of the movie's worst-aged moments, bust a gut over Charlie Day, and resent the presence of one "Kebin Spaceface."  SUPPORT US ON PATREON! 
01:10:2101/04/2024
Dinosaur or: How I Learned to Defeat Cher in Battle

Dinosaur or: How I Learned to Defeat Cher in Battle

Lil' onions, are you ready to hear Ross get emotional? This week we're ending dinosaur month with his favorite pre-historic film, Disney's Dinosaur (2000). Ross gets super juiced up by the James Newton Howard film score, Carie manages to draw comparisons to Sonny & Cher in relevant context somehow, and the siblings remark on how important the film's theme is to how we should all treat each other with dignity and care.  SUPPORT US ON PATREON!!! COME BE MAD WITH US ABOUT HOW THE SOPRANOS ENDED! 
01:24:2425/03/2024
The Flintstones: or How I Learned the Invention of Concrete

The Flintstones: or How I Learned the Invention of Concrete

This week, Carie and Ross break down an old favorite, The Flintstones, in which Ross comments more than once that this is a dinosaur story based on the labor of dinosaur characters in the narrative, and also the movie. Carie comments on the biconic nature of the film, mostly via John Goodman, and the siblings remember the value of a good prehistoric pun... PATREON!!!!!!!!!!!!
01:30:0318/03/2024
The Land Before Time or: How I Learned to Not Be a TriCERAtops

The Land Before Time or: How I Learned to Not Be a TriCERAtops

This week, we're weeping, lil onions! We're breaking down The Land Before Time (1988), a Don Bluth Stephen Spielberg George Lucas(?) animated feature about a mixed family of dinosaurs journeying to the promised land known as The Great Valley. Carie outlines some of the themes of the larger franchise, Ross is all in his feelings about how the movie plays his emotional strings, and the siblings are desperate to know why there is RACISM in the greater dinosaur social-verse!!!! Related Media: Check out Jenny Nicholson's' video essay on all 14 Land Before Time movies!  SUPPORT US ON PATREON!!!! Come listen to our coverage of John Adams, The Haunting of Hill House, LORD OF THE RINGS, or just listen to Ross and Carie shoot the shit or do some quiz shows on each other for fun! 
01:10:5611/03/2024
Jurassic Park or: How I Learned Life Uh Uh Finds a Way

Jurassic Park or: How I Learned Life Uh Uh Finds a Way

Who's ready to talk about DINO DNA, lil onions? We're kicking off the 2024 season with an absolute banger classic, Steven Spielberg's Jurassic Park (1993). Carie is absolutely fascinated with the pseudo-science around gene manipulation in the film, Ross experiences a rollercoaster of visceral emotions from amorous to icked, and the siblings reflect on how the film is a commentary upon man's hubris when finding the next frontier in the world.
01:37:5304/03/2024
A Christmas Carol or: How I Learned It’s Actually a Ghost Story

A Christmas Carol or: How I Learned It’s Actually a Ghost Story

To finish off the year, lil onions, Ross and I are unpacking Robert Zemeckis' truly terrifying adaptation of Charles Dickens' classic holiday tale, A Christmas Carol (2009). In addition to welcoming back a number of well-honored players to Kicking & Streaming, Carie remarks on what a surprise the movie was to her in theaters, Ross revels in the literary genius of Charles Dickens, and the siblings reflect on the importance of this story to the current economic climate, and once again condemn billionaires for allowing millions to suffer in poverty.  PLEASE SUPPORT US ON PATREON! 
01:41:2825/12/2023
Edward Scissorhands or: How I Learned to Spot the Beauty in the Spooky

Edward Scissorhands or: How I Learned to Spot the Beauty in the Spooky

*This week, we unpack one of Tim Burton's finest films, Edward Scissorhands (1990). Ross gets a good boop of serotonin from a film he's not seen in many years, Carie has a less than charming head cannon about who Edward might have been modeled after, and the siblings examine the contrast of the beautiful and the spookable, and how the film's motif makes them less than mutually exclusive... SUPPORT US ON PATREON! 
01:40:4818/12/2023
Gremlins or: How I Learned There Are Creatures in the Coffee Maker

Gremlins or: How I Learned There Are Creatures in the Coffee Maker

This week, we're talking about Joe Dante's classic horror comedy, Gremlins (1984). Ross rediscovers his need to fight and die for the Mogwai, Gizmo, Carie derails the entire recording by making an unfortunate visual comparison, and the siblings debate whether or not the message of Gremlins is one of xenophobia, or simply one of horrific Yuletide silliness. SUPPORT US ON PATREON! 
01:16:4411/12/2023
Black Christmas or: How I Became Terrified of the Piano

Black Christmas or: How I Became Terrified of the Piano

Welcome to Spooky Christmas, lil onions! We're kicking off this horrific season with coverage of the classic 1974 Canadian slasher, Black Christmas. Ross has nothing but good things to say about his first official viewing of the classic inspired by the legend of the Babysitter and the Man Upstairs. Carie defends her decision to cover the '74 film outside of the timeline, and also must explain to Ross why he would not have appreciated the 2006 remake. Also, shoutout to Olivia Hussey's hair in its defining supporting role of the film.  GUYS, IF YOU LOVE LORD OF THE RINGS, YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY GO CHECK OUT OUR PATREON!!! WE'RE COVERING ALL THREE MOVIES!!!
01:34:4504/12/2023
Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring [PATREON TEASER]

Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring [PATREON TEASER]

Lil Onions, this week we are giving you a sneak preview of what's going on over on the Patreon here at the end of the year! We're covering Peter Jackson's adaptation of J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings trilogy, and wanted to give you guys a look at what you're missing! We're having so much fun, both with the deep lore, with the help of Gavin the Inkling, as well as our general disillusionment for Frodo Baggins' mission to get the ring to Mount Doom. If you want to hear the full episode, you'll have to go check it out at the link below, and stay tuned for more Lord of the Rings content for the rest of the year.  SUPPORT US ON PATREON!
46:1027/11/2023
JFK or: How I Learned Oliver Stone is Unhinged (Pt.2)

JFK or: How I Learned Oliver Stone is Unhinged (Pt.2)

HO BOY. Here we GO. TRIGGER WARNING FOR GUNSHOTS and a lot of other really upsetting nonsense this week, lil onions. Today, we are blessedly closing out our coverage of Oliver Stone's truly unhinged dramatization of the assassination of John F. Kennedy with part two of JFK (1991). The trial of Clay Shaw begins and so does the rising of Ross's blood pressure. Carie struggles throughout with the information dump that is heaped upon her, and the siblings come straight up to the line of giving Kevin Costner a compliment about his acting.  SUPPORT US ON PATREON!
01:33:2020/11/2023
JFK or: How I Learned Oliver Stone is Unhinged (Pt.1)

JFK or: How I Learned Oliver Stone is Unhinged (Pt.1)

This week, we are cracking open one of the most frustrating nuts in American history through Oliver Stone's historical dramatization, JFK (1991). We're so tired we can't even see straight, y'all. Ross's one ask for mainfeed this year was covering this incredibly long message board dump known as JFK, Oliver Stone's dramatization of the events surrounding the trial of Clay Shaw and his alleged connections to the assassination of president John F. Kennedy, and one New Orleans DA's mission to prove that the killing was a carefully orchestrated mission to eliminate Kennedy from the political landscape by entities both foreign and domestic. TRIGGER WARNING for racism, sexism, and white men being awful in general, as well as gunshot sound effects. Stay tuned for special segments of Ross' History Corner, as well as Carie screaming and groaning through all of the "information" introduced through Stone's film. Guys, do your own reading on the JFK assassination, because the math isn't mathing, but Oliver Stone also bends over backwards to misrepresent verifiable facts. Glad you could join us on this long, frustrating journey. Look out for part two next week!  SUPPORT US ON PATREON!
01:34:4013/11/2023
[REBROADCAST] The Iron Giant or: How I Learned to Choose My Own Path

[REBROADCAST] The Iron Giant or: How I Learned to Choose My Own Path

Sorry we're missing out on the aforementioned National Treasure coverage this week, but Ross and I have reorganized our November lineup so we can bring you something even BETTER: a special preview of our Patreon coverage of the blueprint for high fantasy as imagined by Peter Jackson, The Lord of the Rings later in the month.  We'll be back next week with our two-parter coverage of Oliver Stone's JFK (1991), and in the meantime if you're starved for new content, please go subscribe to our PATREON! For just $5, you'll get instant access to over a year's worth of content, including our full coverage of HBO's John Adams, and Mike Flanagan's The Haunting of Hill House. We also cover our movie-going experiences, including Barbie and The Exorcist: Believer, not to mention our Mad Men coverage, AND our bloopers and quiz shows. Join us next week for some regularly scheduled programming and tune in to the Patreon for more exciting content.  SUPPORT US ON PATREON!!! [REBROADCAST] Y'ALL THE BIG BABY TEARS ARE WELLIN'!!! Carie and Ross break down an early childhood favorite, Brad Bird's The Iron Giant. The siblings are aghast at the movie's conceptual depth, Ross lusts after more than one animated character, and Carie actually sobs at the end. Full on tears streaming out of her eyes.  Related Media: If you'd like to hear our buddies, The Equelizers take a stab at an Iron Giant sequel, don't miss their episode entitled: The Iron Army (With Jessie Fleming)
01:16:4206/11/2023
Halloween or: How I Learned Not to Turn My Back on Michael Myers

Halloween or: How I Learned Not to Turn My Back on Michael Myers

This week, lil onions, we are fudging the timeline as we discuss John Carpetner's signature film, Halloween (1978).  Carie expresses a great deal of love for one of our original scream queens, Jamie Lee Curtis, Ross lauds the presence of one of the better characters in the film, THE MOVIE SCORE, and the siblings discuss the stain that a traumatic event can leave on a particular location. If you are still hungry for Halloween content at this time, lil onions, you can go over to our Patreon where we are currently covering the Exorcist franchise in the form of the original film, The Exorcist (1973), and our filmgoing experience of Exorcist: Believer right now for just $5! SUPPORT US ON PATREON!
01:16:3030/10/2023
Sweeny Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street: or: How I Learned Sondheim Was a Genius

Sweeny Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street: or: How I Learned Sondheim Was a Genius

TRIGGER WARNING FOR ALL THINGS HORRIBLE--Whether its SA, murder, or cannibalism, there are all manner of things to be wary of here--HOWEVER the siblings are in there wheelhouse today! We're talking about Tim Burton's adaptation of the Stephen Sondheim masterpiece Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007). In this episode, the siblings are lauding Stephen Sondheim's ability to bring feeling to a detached UK legend, remarking on how the movie cast differs from the original Stephen Sondheim vision, and will also be proffering a pitch for a Tim Burton-themed restaurant.  SUPPORT US ON PATREON!
01:39:3023/10/2023
Hide and Seek or: How I Learned to Question EVERYONE

Hide and Seek or: How I Learned to Question EVERYONE

Who's ready for some unhinged folie a deux, lil onions? This week the siblings unpack one of their mysterious faves from childhood, Hide and Seek (2006)  Robert DeNiro is in a confusing paternal role, Dakota Fanning is doing her Maculay Culkin thing, and the siblings have to parse out a number of potential endings that completely contextualize how a viewer will look at this film.  SUPPORT US ON PATREON!!!
01:17:0916/10/2023
Scooby Doo or: How I Learned to Solve a Mystery

Scooby Doo or: How I Learned to Solve a Mystery

Rawg? Rhere? To kick off spooky season, the siblings are breaking down a staple favorite from their childhood, Scooby Doo (2002). In addition to the wonderful nostalgia that is the live-action film, the siblings also remark on how the execution of the story and characters are a beloved call-back to the formulaic children's cartoon we all know and love. Ross is bananas for the fashion and Carie is angered by the traditionally corny twist ending so appropriate for a film adapted from 54 year old IP that was able to connect generations.  SUPPORT US ON PATREON!   Don't forget to check out our PATREON PREVIEW from last week for our coverage of the Haunting of Hill House, which you can get RIGHT NOW for just $5 over on our Patreon! We love you, little onions! 
01:26:1809/10/2023