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Green Blooded Bastard
The Green Blooded Bastard podcasts primarily feature movie commentaries. While they do not cure cancer or offer profound insights into filmmaking, they may provide a touch of humor, and be warned; I swear a lot. In addition to the free weekly movie episodes, I occasionally post side podcasts on the main feed. These include a Star Trek-focused show titled The Bastard Boldly Goes, a Battlestar Galactica series called Fat Apollo is Life, a Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman commentary known as The Bastard V Lois & Clark, an ALF-themed podcast I Am, Therefore I Watch Alf, and an Ash vs Evil Dead show named Ash vs Evil Dead vs The Bastard. Sometimes, I write bad poetry, create chaos art, and am generally emo.
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Green Blooded Bastard - They

Green Blooded Bastard - They

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches They. This film is just not that good, but fuck it that why I watch them for you!
01:24:0812/05/2024
Green Blooded Bastard - Joker

Green Blooded Bastard - Joker

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Joker.  In this movie Baby Batman gets to be the butt of the Joke again. 
01:56:5505/05/2024
Green Blooded Bastard - When A Stranger Calls (2006)

Green Blooded Bastard - When A Stranger Calls (2006)

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches When A Stranger Calls (2006). This movie is a remake that works well enough, but it kinda trips on its dick more than not.
01:24:4028/04/2024
Green Blooded Bastard - Hulk vs Wolverine

Green Blooded Bastard - Hulk vs Wolverine

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Hulk vs Wolverine.  This movie is semi-dope as hell, and the Canuck is pissed, but he will cut you up, son!
35:2121/04/2024
Green Blooded Bastard - Soldier

Green Blooded Bastard - Soldier

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Soldier. SciFi fucking nonsense at it's 1990s excess! 
01:30:2714/04/2024
Green Blooded Bastard - Cigarette Burns (Masters Of Horror S1E8)

Green Blooded Bastard - Cigarette Burns (Masters Of Horror S1E8)

Green Blooded Bastard - Cigarette Burns (Masters Of Horror S1E8). I'm going to watch all the mini films in this whole series, and this is the eighth episode!
50:2507/04/2024
Green Blooded Bastard - Iron Man 3

Green Blooded Bastard - Iron Man 3

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Iron Man 3. Whip them tiddies out!   Tony Fucking Stark!
02:01:5301/04/2024
Green Blooded Bastard - Texas Chainsaw 3D

Green Blooded Bastard - Texas Chainsaw 3D

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Texas Chainsaw 3.  This movie is semi-dope as hell, and Leatherface is in 3D, but it will cut you up, son!
01:27:3724/03/2024
Green Blooded Bastard - Deer Woman (Masters Of Horror S1E7)

Green Blooded Bastard - Deer Woman (Masters Of Horror S1E7)

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Homecoming (Masters Of Horror S1E7).  I'm gonna watch all the mini films in this whole series and this is the 7th episode!
56:4217/03/2024
Green Blooded Bastard - Don’t Worry Darling

Green Blooded Bastard - Don’t Worry Darling

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Don't Worry Darling. This movie is a wasted concept that is more boring than the behind-the-scenes drama. I'd say watch it once, but that's it! HAHA
01:56:4310/03/2024
Green Blooded Bastard - Iron Man 2

Green Blooded Bastard - Iron Man 2

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Iron Man 2. Let the good times rool and then whip them tiddies out!
01:58:1103/03/2024
Green Blooded Bastard - Scooby-Doo! And KISS: Rock and Roll Mystery

Green Blooded Bastard - Scooby-Doo! And KISS: Rock and Roll Mystery

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Scooby-Doo! And KISS: Rock and Roll Mystery.  This movie is a fun and KISStastic film. Decent use of their music and some strange Jack Kirby inspired visuals.
01:16:3725/02/2024
Green Blooded Bastard - Silent House

Green Blooded Bastard - Silent House

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Silent House. This movie is very fucking boring and uber lame, but at least it's not that fucking animated Mario film that I watched.
01:21:0018/02/2024
Green Blooded Bastard - Ocean’s 8

Green Blooded Bastard - Ocean’s 8

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Ocean’s 8.  This film is about some women stealing shit because it's fucking fun and easy and why not mother fucker!
01:45:3011/02/2024
Green Blooded Bastard - Leatherface

Green Blooded Bastard - Leatherface

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Leatherface.  This movie is fucking lame and is an unneeded origin for Leatherface. fuck it son!
01:25:3604/02/2024
Green Blooded Bastard - Homecoming (Masters Of Horror S1E6)

Green Blooded Bastard - Homecoming (Masters Of Horror S1E6)

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Homecoming (Masters Of Horror S1E6).  I'm gonna watch all the mini films in this whole series and this is the 56th episode!
58:3228/01/2024
Green Blooded Bastard - Left Behind: Rise of the Antichrist

Green Blooded Bastard - Left Behind: Rise of the Antichrist

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Left Behind: Rise of the Antichrist.  Fuck it, so this is a sequel to that Nic Cage one, so I guess I'll have to go back and watch that one now, too, because I'm a goddamned completionist.
01:53:1321/01/2024
Green Blooded Bastard - I See You

Green Blooded Bastard - I See You

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches I See You. This movie is fucking boring and relatively lame, but at least it's not that fucking animated Mario film that I just watched.
01:32:4115/01/2024
Green Blooded Bastard - The Super Mario Bros. Movie

Green Blooded Bastard - The Super Mario Bros. Movie

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Super Mario Bros. Movie! This movie is fucking boring and relatively lame and I wish I would have fallen asleep during it.   #tits #ass #mario #bigdick
01:25:2107/01/2024
Green Blooded Bastard - Spider-Man: No Way Home

Green Blooded Bastard - Spider-Man: No Way Home

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Spider-Man: No Way Home. Yeah, it's the moment that you've all been waiting for p33ps! Stop your grinning and drop your linen! Marvel went balls deep with this one son! 
02:14:5131/12/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - Lady Bird

Green Blooded Bastard - Lady Bird

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Lady Bird. It's a coming-of-age story about the titular Lady Bird and her coming of age.
01:29:3424/12/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze

Green Blooded Bastard - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze. So it continues!
01:22:4718/12/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - Another Me

Green Blooded Bastard - Another Me

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches  Another Me.  This movie is what you thought it would be, haha! Fuck Joffrey Jonas!
01:18:0111/12/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - A Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors

Green Blooded Bastard - A Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches A Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors.  This movie is fucking tits! Love it, Live it and Balls Deep Bitches!
01:33:5504/12/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - Venom

Green Blooded Bastard - Venom

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Venom. Tom Hardy was like hey Topher hold my beer son and jumped into the lobster tank! OH HELL YEAH SON!
01:38:4326/11/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - Some Kind Of Wonderful

Green Blooded Bastard - Some Kind Of Wonderful

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Some Kind Of Wonderful. It's a gender bender Pretty in Pink that is ready for you to give it a shot!
01:33:5119/11/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - The Most Dangerous Game

Green Blooded Bastard - The Most Dangerous Game

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Most Dangerous Game. Yeah, it's the film that possibly inspired the Zodiac Killer so give it a look son. It's decent for being an older film.
01:03:1012/11/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - Halloween Kills

Green Blooded Bastard - Halloween Kills

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Halloween Kills. Yeah, it's the moment that you've all been waiting for sucka! This movie is fucking and I'l eventually record the other episodes of this trilogy later haha!
01:42:0705/11/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

Green Blooded Bastard - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990). So it begins!
01:28:5229/10/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - Terrifier 2

Green Blooded Bastard - Terrifier 2

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Terrifier 2. There is a clown man that is making bad shit happen in this damn film because of reasons and stuff.
02:11:4922/10/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - Hot Shots! Part Deux

Green Blooded Bastard - Hot Shots! Part Deux

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Hot Shots! Part Deux. Yeah, it's the moment that you've all been waiting again for sucka! Stop your grinning and drop your linen! Sheen went balls deep again with this one son! 
01:24:4615/10/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - Mission To Mars

Green Blooded Bastard - Mission To Mars

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Mission To Mars. We got another amusment ride movie for you guys and gals! strap in or strap on!
01:46:4708/10/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - The Dark Knight Rises

Green Blooded Bastard - The Dark Knight Rises

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Dark Knight. Yeah, it's the moment that you've all been creaming for! Stop you're grinning and drop your linen! Marvel went balls deep with this one son! 
02:37:3101/10/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - Hot Shots!

Green Blooded Bastard - Hot Shots!

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Hot Shots! Yeah, it's the moment that you've all been waiting for sucka! Stop youre grinning and drop your linen! Charlie went balls deep with this one son! 
01:20:4424/09/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - The Ring

Green Blooded Bastard - The Ring

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Ring.  This movie is about a chick that is too cool for school and then watches a damn VHS movie and well fucking man don't you know she's fucked.  This film is fucking epic and still holds up!
01:47:4917/09/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - Enola Holmes

Green Blooded Bastard - Enola Holmes

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Enola Holmes. Yeah, it's the moment that you've all been waiting for p33ps! Stop you're grinning and drop your linen! Marvel went balls deep with this one son! 
01:57:5010/09/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - R.I.P.D.

Green Blooded Bastard - R.I.P.D.

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches R.I.P.D. This movie is about a guy named Deadpool who gets killed by Kevin Bacon. He's got a hot girlfriend, and a grumpy friend named chode. Whatever.
01:28:3503/09/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - Batman: The Long Halloween, Part Two

Green Blooded Bastard - Batman: The Long Halloween, Part Two

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Batman: The Long Halloween, Part Two.  This movie is part 2. Read the comic if you enjoyed this because it's excellent.
01:25:0927/08/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - War

Green Blooded Bastard - War

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches War.  Jet Li fucks Jason Statham in the ass as they go to WAR!
01:38:1920/08/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - The Cave (2005)

Green Blooded Bastard - The Cave (2005)

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Cave (2005)! This movie is about some wannabe dinks that find underground scary evolved monster things!
01:32:5613/08/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - Aquaman

Green Blooded Bastard - Aquaman

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Aquaman. Yeah, it's the moment that you've all been waiting for suckas! Stop your grinning and drop your linen! DC went balls deep with this one son! 
02:12:2706/08/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - Batman: Soul Of The Dragon

Green Blooded Bastard - Batman: Soul Of The Dragon

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Batman: Soul Of The Dragon.  This is a movie wherein a black batman little shit kicks fast and makes friends with a ninja chick and Asian Jim Carrey fist fucks!
01:21:1030/07/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - Riddick

Green Blooded Bastard - Riddick

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Riddick! This movie is about a donkey dicked bastard that will fuck your butt to save the world because of silver eyes in space dudes!
01:55:3023/07/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - The Crying Game

Green Blooded Bastard - The Crying Game

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches The Crying Game! Beware dicks!
01:48:4716/07/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - Ghost Ship

Green Blooded Bastard - Ghost Ship

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Ghost Ship. There is a demon that is making bad shit happen on this ship because of reasons and stuff.
01:27:0509/07/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - Blue Velvet

Green Blooded Bastard - Blue Velvet

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Blue Velvet?  David Fucking Lynch and a gd monkey watch Blue Velvet in the multiverse!
02:00:0902/07/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - Rise of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie

Green Blooded Bastard - Rise of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Rise of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie! Time Travel Fun Time yet again, again with Turtles!
01:17:2125/06/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge

Green Blooded Bastard - A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches A Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge.  This movie is reverse-lit af son! So double get them knives out!
01:23:3718/06/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - Universal Soldier: Day Of Reckoning

Green Blooded Bastard - Universal Soldier: Day Of Reckoning

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Universal Soldier: Day Of Reckoning.  In this movie, the old guns barely show up to kick some ass in front of the young guns!
01:47:2711/06/2023
Green Blooded Bastard - Cruising

Green Blooded Bastard - Cruising

The one where Green Blooded Bastard watches Cruising.  An epic fucking film that has many problems, but you should give it a chance you leather boys and girls.
01:38:4104/06/2023