DPR roll into Barovia in style, riding in the good Dr's carriage. It should be a smooth journey, but the road is bumpy, the night is dark, and we are all dumb as hell.   Join us as we ruin your favorite Dungeons and Dragons module - Curse of Strahd https://www.DicePaperRole.com 

Dice Paper Role travel to the land of Barovia with new original* characters, brand new theme music, and a newfound ambivalence towards editing. Listen to this Dungeons and Dragons horror campaign be brought to life, or if not life then definitely some form of jerky, slightly rotten afterlife** *semi-original **not technically or legally life https://www.DicePaperRole.com 

Normally we put a joke here. But now is not a time for fucking about. BLACK LIVES MATTER Support worthy causes here: Australia USA

Journey into the wild realm of an unplugged game at the DPR table. See what it is like to play with us when we let loose. And by god, it is one loose game of Dungeons and Dragons. Joined by friend of the show Robby Anderson, hear us tear Dan's game plans apart from the very first line of dialogue. Hear his tears pitter-patter on the table as he runs a one hour game over three hours. Feel our delight in his frustration. Strap in, and ready yourself, for: DPR Raw.

Your correspondent Scuffy McDags reports from shopping centre ground zero with an in depth piece into the poo ticket pandemonium. Scruffy will dive deep into the septic environment of the weekly shop, fearlessly finding out who has a clean behind and who... doesn’t. Credits:  http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/dpr-book-ii-chapter-23-part-ii-escape-room/ ‎

Ghost trains. Chugging through the night on spectral rails, spewing noxious gas into the air. Where did they come from? We don't have actual trains? Will it affect your property value? Find out by signing up for a free property valuation with Pinot Puppetman. No strings attached. Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/dpr-book-ii-chapter-22-law-order-multiverse/

According to known fusspot and bleeding heel, Alan Bloodspatter, the world is on fire. But surely the world has always been on fire, and if not on fire, then at least a smouldering wreck. As renowned bloodhound, Fido Mammal said in 1996: the roof is on fire. Proof that some places were previously on fire. Also it's raining. Now pass me my briefcase marked "coal money" and I will be on my way. Dice Paper Role - A Dungeons and Dragons Comedy Podcast Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/dpr-book-ii-chapter-21-new-hell-who-dis/

Let's revel in the post Christmas lunch malaise. Join the Tight 5 as we recline in the comfy chair, undo our pants, and let it all hang out. We warm up our eleventh snifter of brandy and stuff one last mince pie in our collective gob. Things are about to get festively loose.    

It's Christmas, and our gift to our DM Dan is to take his painstakingly crafted game, tear the neatly applied wrapping paper off, then throw the game aside like another pair of new socks. Listen as we ruin the season by punching the little drummer boy in the face. The Tight 5 are in a festive mood and ready mix up the nog, lay down a thick yule log, and argue with our racist uncle over dinner. Dice Paper Role - A Festive Dungeons and Dragons Podcast

Driven by a desire for justice. Seeking answers to a dark past. Jemima Jordansen must defeat the demons of Acheron and the demons within. !!!YOU WON'T BELIEVE HOW SHE DID IT!!! CLICK HERE Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/dpr-book-ii-chapter-20-inner-demons-i-mean-devils/

On our panel this week, Grooty Thunderbug, child prodigy and part time sailor lays out all the facts. Grooty tells us why the world is burning and how we can stop it. And of course to make sure our coverage is completely balanced, we have brought in 5 middle aged white men to scream incoherent arguments and personal insults at her during the presentation. Only on, Badger News   Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/dpr-book-ii-chapter-19-up-styx-creek/

Well known inventor and stinky hermit Pendleton Cycleframe shows us his new handcrafted wooden masterpiece: the TwoWheel. Peddleton tells us in excruciating detail how every single component was thought up, rejected, re-examined, re-rejected, re-re-examined, accepted, carved, put into a cupboard, forgotten, rediscovered, and then polished. This Soonday on: 60 Minutiae  Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/dpr-book-ii-chapter-18-meet-the-frackers/

This week on DPR - the radio station you can rely on 3/10 days a week.   Soonday: Pounce and Mullanry hunt a cornish cereal murderer, who runs them in rings before flaking out. Turday: Wildman Bex reveals the shocking and filthy habits of Bourgeois Snails. Whyday: A mystery chef appears in the long grass, cooking a hot tomale of poked bowls. Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/dpr-book-ii-chapter-17-sandstorm/

You can get it hawking wares. You can get it wiping benches. You can get it hunting bears. You can get it digging latrine trenches. You can get it any old how. A hard earned thirst needs a big chunky drink. Barry's Dogs Milk: It's a dogs breakfast.  Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/dpr-book-ii-chapter-16-the-power-of-helm-ft-tempus/

This week at DPR, we thank our sponsors: Dolce Kabana They make the finest meat based attire money can buy. From the popular Herring Vest worn by discerning adventurers, to the signature Kabana Culottes, voluminous and fatty in their magnificence. If you plan to travel to a post-apocalyptic plane of existence, these pieces can be both fashionable and incredibly valuable. Use the code NEVERTHROWTHESEAWAY for a 10% discount. Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/dpr-book-ii-chapter-15-helm-make-me-better/

On Coordinates, Coordinates, Coordinates this week we find a home for Mr & Mrs Crumbberbatch and their 18 children. Will they choose the stank of the river district, the grime of the Smith's Quarter, or the incessant proselytizing of Temple Row? Riveting stuff. Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/book-ii-chapter-14-flight-of-the-rusty-prawn/

This season of Bronze Cook brings you the freshest cooking challenges with a new and brutal spice. Listen as Cook Aranaz the Wise puts together a stew of foresight that will tingle your taste buds so savagely you can see through time. The secret ingredient? - Extremely potent spider venom We make this 80 year old man dig around in the ground among a horde of spider nests, risking his life for this vital component. He will cry, he will beg, he will remember he signed a waver. Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/book-ii-chapter-13-dinner-and-a-showdown/

I’m 9 out of 10 Displacer Beasts A.M.A. The Live Show Tonight FEAT: Jump’n Jenk’nz - Illusionist and barn salesgnome, Garbom Grufflesnacks - Wererights Activist and teapot collector, & Todd from accounting.  Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/dpr-book-ii-chapter-12-the-lion-snacks-tonight/

We at DPR like to keep things clean. As a family friendly broadcaster we like to keep our airwaves fresh, wholesome and available for the whole family.  Which is why we are proud to be sponsored this week by the incredible Gnappy Hair Nappy. Made from the finest Gnoll hair, these nappies are soft and absorbent. All Gnappy's Gnoll hair is sourced from free range dungeon Gnolls, harvested fresh by adventurers you know and love. Gnappy - Nothing holds a turd like a clump of Gnoll Hair.   http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/dpr-book-ii-chapter-11-from-the-frying-pan-into-the-deep-fryer/

Beyond the Razor Plains of Tiarn, through the Bog of Endless Suffering, past the Forest of Despair, under the Lake of Burning, deep in the Cave of Crushing Boulders lies a merchant of endless wonders named Carl. This week only Carl is offering a crazy 10% off all magic item purchases, just use the code word DPR to receive this absolutely bonkers discount! Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/dpr-book-ii-chapter-10-behind-the-curtain/

It's election season, and DPR is on the campaign trail, gathering gusting sound bites from the hustings for your displeasure. This week we interview Faerun First senator Lazy Banning about his controversial anti-goose migration policy. An official spokesperson for the senator said “ohhhh nernernernernerner” and punched this reporter in the face. Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/dpr-book-ii-chapter-9-apocalypse-training-stages-5-through-7/

Goatball season is almost upon us! In the lead up, to satisfy your Goatball hunger we have: Goatball X - a shorter, faster, bloodier version of Goatball. Goatball XL - a longer, slower, less interesting version of Goatball. Goatball at First Sight - Goatball played by a team who have never met before. and NEW this season! Stoatball - the Goatball you know and love, except this time, it's a Stoat. Only on DPR's Wide World of Balls.   Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/book-ii-chapter-8-a-dragon-born/

Sail the ashy skies and beyond with a Super King Stateroom on our Premiere Cruise Ship - "The Golden Goose" Watch the brilliant orange sunsets through the clouds of nuclear winter. Feast on the remaining foodstuffs we can scavenge as the world deteriorates around you. Stay above the smells of decomposing civilizations and burning nations on our LAST EVER round the world tour with G&O cruises! Book Now!   Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/book-ii-chapter-7-you-can-call-me-al/

Pisces: This week you will gain the opportunity to learn a new skill - dive in. The moon is at half spread, bringing you bad fortune in games of chance. Don't push your luck, and take this time to give your undies a wash. Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/book-ii-chapter-6-like-tears-in-rain/

What makes a move worthy of becoming a signature? DPR canvasses three experts to get to the bottom of this once and for all. Sully Qeem (Social Drinking Influencer), Peerson Scumbidge (Back Alley Knife Handler), and Ms Badger McFace (actual badger), answer these age old questions: What's the perfect style to substance ratio? How much hamstring damage is too much? What time is lunch? Our second hour is the top 100 murder styles as voted by you, live from Kevin's Mum's clam farm. Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/book-ii-chapter-5-falling-from-a-great-gesundheit/

DPR will be broadcasting an hour of silence this week in memory of a fallen colleague. Jerry Softnoggin, our intrepid reporter from the FaceMeat tribe was our man on the ground for all your favorite jungle stories. Listen to some of his most popular episodes like: Berry in Season, and 10 Ways to Cook a Face, then sit in silence for an hour and wallow in our self pity. This Monday at 8. Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/book-ii-chapter-4-jungle-bex-and-the-snatch-mobile

Soft of step, this cunning beast is perfectly adapted to its jungle habitat. It speeds through the undergrowth, eyes forward, unerringly dashing amongst the great boles of the ancient trees. DPR brings you a close up of this mysterious, rarely seen beast. The elusive jungle donkey. Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/book-ii-chapter-3-troubles-with-lycanthropy/

Possible future forecasts indicate meteor showers with a high chance of firestorm. The likelyhood of burnt grasslands and temperate forests means less grazing land for vital food stocks. This weather update was brought to you by Shlock Shlammer's Hay and Feed stockists - we'll get you through droughts, floods, and the apocalypse. Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/book-ii-chapter-2-a-leopard-never-changes-its-jorts/

This prequel of sorts is a romp through the magical world that made the original series so celebrated, but without the favourite characters we all knew and loved. Despite a slimy performance by Jimmy Pepp as the titular villain, the story chugs along like an overloaded, square wheeled mule cart. 3 out of 5 well greased villains.   Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/book-ii-chapter-1-whats-your-apocalypse-plan/

Variety had always been a positive person. She said it herself and she said it quite frequently. Everyone knew that Variety had had her share of opportunities to practice positivity. Her’s was the story skated over in public, but devoured in private and at special occasions. A tale told to children by misguided parents to teach them the dangers of men. In spite of all this Variety was a positive person, and sometimes you’re reminded that there is some good in the world.   Credits & Artwork: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/episode-47-book-i-epilogue/

ATTACK ON GREYMEAD! The release of noxious gas from a nefarious canister has turned 3 dock workers, 2 couriers, and a Pomeranian into murderous spiked devils. Investigators discovered the canister near Belfinky dock with a name tag still attached. It read: Property of Bruce T Milkman. When asked if Mr. Milkman had been arrested, Chief Inspector Ronald Binskin said “We asked Bruce, but he said he didn't do it." The investigation is ongoing... Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/episode-46-book-1-finale-and-it-was-written-in-the-stars/

Bart Mulwimple was a simple goat herder. His goat meat was prized throughout Greymead for its flavour and tenderness, but each season he was left with a surplus of hides. Frustrated by the waste he set about finding a new way to use this versatile material. After years of searching for the right purpose he was inspired when the morning sun shone directly through his window into his remaining good eye. Bart Mulwimple is proud to present: Mulwimple's Goat Skin Blinds - better than stabbing yourself in the eye with a stick. Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/episode-45-the-end-is-nigh/

When you’re stranded and broke and need to get home, who can you trust? 9/10 Doctors agree it’s the bus you took on your first solo trip, the same bus you trusted when you moved to college and the bus you trusted to bring you back home again every summer. It’s the bus powered by a steaming pack of eighteen dogs.... It’s Greyhound.   Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/episode-44-orikis-song/

Torus: The next few days will be influenced by the proximity of the moons. Things might take a turn for the worse before they get better. Remember to be true to yourself and stand by your friends. Beware moments of greed. Treasure may not be as shiny as you first think. You may feel an unbidden craving for doughnuts. Go for it. What could possibly go wrong? Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/episode-43-brakais-birthday/

Gwendoline looked intensely at Pietor. They both knew what this meant. Pietor steadied himself, suddenly aware of each second that ticked on the timepiece on Gwendoline’s wrist. Oh Gwendoline’s wrists. He could write odes to her wrists, ballads to her fingers, and limericks to her knuckles. But this sudden flight of longing cost Pietor dearly, as Gwendoline pinned his thumb and won the championship for the third year running. Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/episode-42-see-no-evil/  

There is a place that you can go, when life is tough and you’re feeling low. A place where troubles disappear, a place for friends; a place for beer. If you’re having a day where you question it all... then come on down to the hidey hole. Thursday is adults only chicken dipper night (now in two flavours!), kids eat free. Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/episode-41-helms-hidey-hole/

Dinner Plan Review. This exciting new show explores your dinner plans and rates them against your peers, colleagues, friends and family. Hear the Jones family's profound love of ankheg meat as they chomp down on deep fried legs with creme fraiche. Noisily. Next to the microphone. Brutal and sloppy? Yes. Delish? You be the judge. Vote #dprdinnerplanreview for your chance to win a gaping wound. Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/episode-40-the-first-rule-of-clown-school  

Acclaimed documentarian and activist Borghum Freesnail narrates a tale of survival against the odds. Borghum, 85, slides his way across the continent following in the snail tracks of the near extinct Mighty Eastern greysnails as they migrate north for the spring. Borghum is all charisma in what may be his final project. This is ‘The Slime of the ancient narrator.’ Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/episode-39-daaavid-vs-goliath/

Ringer Pullos is a brash and gregarious woman. She sweeps into the room and grasps my hand in a firm and yet welcoming handshake. Her eyes sparkle with intelligence and laughter, as we sit down to chat and I feel as though I am the one being interviewed. We talk about her meteoric rise through the cannery trade, and find out about her newest invention, set to take the can world by storm. The magnetic circular can opening lift device. Game changer. Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/episode-38-off-the-wall/

This week on DPR we interview polar explorer and CS Lewis fanatic Burnish Buckletoon as he prepares for his 14th expedition to the Deep South. We ask all the big questions: how cold it was? How are the Pengloids and Solar Bears? And what about the Christian parallels present throughout the Narnia books? Burnish talks ignorance, racism, and completely ignores most of our questions as he scoffs down a free lunch. Hot stuff. Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/episode-37-the-drums-of-war/

A penny saved is a penny earned so the saying goes. But does it hold up in a court of law? This is what we’ll find out this week as we follow the trial of Shirtfront Amblewang who saved the life of local bottle collector and judo instructor Penny Prossel and is holding her in his home claiming her as his slave. Shirtfront says the law is clear and that he wants to put her to work in his newspaper rolling business before the busy season. News at 11. Artwork and Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/episode-36-siege-the-day/  

It’s sweepsteaks time again as we broadcast from the Boldock Beef and Broom Bazaar. Great deals on brisket on brush, sirloin and scoop, or maybe even try your hand at the suede scrub at a masterclass with the Beefstie Boys. Enjoy the Twilight Tripe and Trowel dance headlined this year by superstar Swabbie Filet Gams. Too much meat? DW, they’re doing mushrooms or some shit as well. Additional Artwork & Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/episode-35-letters-from-home/

This week DPR has a real treat for you. We’re broadcasting from the Greymead Stoat and Soap Symposium bringing you live tastings of some of the finest soups and fruit platters you’ll ever hear. Your host Milchard Oblong describes each spoonful in painstaking detail. We taste Millie Mousette's fabled Onion and Pear Soup, Brucemys Fanglesticks’ conjured Minestrone with Goats Cheese, and contemplate the origins of the meat in Barry D'Udder's Chunky Pea and "Ham" surprise. Additional Artwork & Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/episode-34-diaper-patrol/

Feedel wasn’t always a beat poet, in fact before he became one he had never before entertained the idea. Feedel was 44 years into a career as a turkey sexer, he was head of the department at the largest Turkey Fromagerie this side of Gwilton. He had a loving husband, three more or less stable children, fourteen grandchildren, a ferret, and a negatively geared investment property. From the outside and by almost every measure, Feedel’s life was good. So what caused him to pause on the job, poult in hand and start riffing? An aneurysm it turns out. Additional Artwork & Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/episode-33-part-ii-straight-through-the-top-of-the-dome/

In breaking news - last night famed artist Pontifrak Goobsack's world renowned Galleria de la Mug burnt to the ground. Beneath this edifice of the snobby art world, we can now reveal the discovery of a hidden basement filled to the brim with caricatures and scrapbooking by Goobsack himself. Will the discovery of this art tarnish Goobsack's legacy? Will this pile of pornographic filth sully his name? We bring you full, unbiased coverage at 8. Additional Artwork & Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/episode-33-the-shield-part-i/

In the dead of night a can clinks along the cobblestones. Chunky effluent spews into the Mead River, fouling the city's only water supply... What would the founders of Greymead have thought, seeing the waste, filth, and degradation that now calls itself a city? Is this what their hard labour bought? In the midst of the mire there is a family, their dreams of the future not yet broken by the crushing weight of reality. They’ve saved and borrowed to buy a tiny single room, a tarpaulin roofed lean-to in SloBlo and want to make it into a home... Welcome to Grand Designs. Additional Artwork & Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/episode-32-deus-rex-machina-mach-ii/

Torvin Templestow joins DPR this week to talk temple restoration, turnip farming, turning undead and how to run a successful kickstarter. He raised 1000gp in seven days for his temple restoration project. We hear how it all came about and find out how much of that money was donated by his mum. Additional Artwork & Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/episode-31-the-metal-meets-the-meat/

Recently deceased bin man Bobby Brumpkin had a secret. He'd gone through his entire life with part of himself hidden, never to be revealed to anyone, not even his nearest and dearest. It pushed people away, a string of broken relationships and failed business ventures fell victim to this unknown truth. It was never named, but it could be felt by those close to Bobby. It was as if there was always something on the periphery... Just out of sight... Something dark, and mysterious... But what was Bobby's secret?   No fucking clue, he's dead now.   Additional Artwork & Credits: http://www.dicepaperrole.com/podcast/the-calm-before-the-storm/