If the ads are a bummer, then join the Patreon, where you'll have early access to videos, exclusive access to learning material, and Ad-Free episodes of this podcast.This was a conversation I had with my friend Martin Grantham about how humans relate to the living world around them (or rather, how most of them don't) and the factors that influence it.

This podcast episode is available ad-free on the Patreon with a screenshare of the presentation that accompanies it at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesntHow do plants evolve? How do plants speciate? What is allopatric speciation? What is sympatric speciation? How do plants like the Hawaiian silverswords evolve to be such big weird bastards while their ancestors on the mainlaind (the tarweeds) are so small? What the hell happened with the genus Echium (Boraginaceae) when it got to the Canary Islands? Why were islands the big reveal for how natural selection might work when Darwin saw his finches and what the shit? How can geology cause a new plant species to evolve? We cover all that and more in this here episode. Textbooks recommended in this podcast if you wanna be less of a dummy : Ecology of Plants by Gurevitch (3rd Edition) Evolution : Making Sense of Life by Carl Zimmer (the edition with the bunny on the cover). Both downloadable in PDF form from www.libgen.is

If the ads are a bummer, keep in mind all episodes of the Crime Pays podcast are available Ad-Free on the Patreon at : www.patreon.com/c/crimepaysbutbotanydoesntCodi Lazar is a Professory of Geology at California State University San Bernardino and a passionate and utterly hilarious geologist. In this episode, we get into the weeds talking about a wide variety of topics such as how limestone forms, why some plants might be restricted to it, what "serpentinite" is, what's in story for the state of Nevada in the next few dozen million years, how related the granite that's beneath Joshua Tree National Park might be to the granite in the Sierra Nevadas (very), the former love affair between the African continent, Scottland, Newfoundland and Appalachia, and much more. 

Ads are terrible, Ads are hell, and if they bother you, here's a reminder that you can avoid them altogether by listening to this podcast Ad-Free on the Crime Pays Patreon at :www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesntThe genus Baccharis is one of the largest and most diverse in the Composite Family, Asteraceae. It originated in South America a few dozen million years ago and has diversified and spread throughout South and North America and adapted to a variety of different habitats due to a number of key innovations such as tufted trichomes that secrete sticky wax, the abundant production of wind-dispersed seeds, and rapid growth, among other traits. When I was working for the railroad and frequently visiting abandoned industrial corridors in California, the genus Baccharis was one of the only native plants that was able to hold its own amidst the concrete, pollution and toxic soil of former industrial sites.Today we talk with Baccharis researcher Gustavo Heiden from Southern Brazil about his research and study of this tough and remarkable genus, where it originated and what makes it so successful.

If the ads are annoying, keep in mind all podcast episodes are offered ad-free on the Patreon at : www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt, where you'll also have early access to videos, exlusive access to plant education lectures, and exclusive access to photo dumps from recent plant excursions that are not visible on any of the other Crime Pays Social Media venues.Rants about scrub oaks in the sand dunes of West Texas, 500 million-year-old granite in Lawton Oklahoma and the obesity epidemic aflicting prairie dogs in nearby communities, plants that only grow on Limestone, arbutoid mycorrhizae and symbiosis between madrones and ecomycorrhizale soil fungi, the lack of large-scale native plant growers in Texas, etc.Species featured here : Stenaria pooleanaQuercus aff. gravesiiArbutus xalapensisCirsium turneriPetrophytum caespitosumCercocarpus breviflorusBaccharis pteronioidesPenstemon baccharifoliusGarrya goldmaniiEriogonum hieraciifolium

If the ads are bumming you out, keep in mind that ad-free episodes of the podcast are available at :www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesntDid you know that the distal ends and tips of roots are the only parts doing any absorption? What the hell are cortical bundles and why did cacti evolve them? How can cactus roots grow so quickly after a rain and what do we mean by "root spurs"?  How does the South American parasitic plant Tristerix aphylla behave like a fungus when it grows inside its host plant? And if you still don't understand what the hell Parenchyma is, here's your chance for a refresher.Dr. Jim Mauseth taught plant anatomy and botany for 30 years at UT Austin and literally wrote a textbook on the subject. He's also written a few other books and over a hundred research papers studying the anatomy of plants with an emphasis on cacti, and has traveled to South America and Mexico studying the family on numerous occasions. In this episode we go deep on plant tissues, plant cells, cellular components, plasmodesmata, cell membranes and how the a plant is technically only one single cell when you really get down to it...A reminder that the previous podcast episode on plant tissues covers some of the terminology in this episode, such as the 3 main tissue types : epidermal tissues, ground tissues (parenchyma, collenchyma, sclerenchyma) and vascular tissue (xylem and phloem). I highly suggest listening to that episode first or at least pausing the podcast if you're unclear about some of the terminology. Remember that tracheids and vessel elements apply only to xylem (which only moves water) and "sieve tubes", "companion cells" and "sieve plates" apply only to phloem (which only moves sugars and photosynthates). The 3 ground tissues are : parenchyma (primary walls only, large intercellular spaces, alive at maturity), collenchyma (only produces primary cell walls with thickened and re-inforced corners, alive at maturity), sclerenchyma (primary and secondary cell walls, dead at maturity).Thumbnail photo shows the incredibly thick cuticle of Ariocarpus, with epidermis below and hypodermis below that, marked with arrows. Vertical hole on the right side is the stomatal opening in the cuticle 

A reminder: the ads on this podcast (as well as most podcasts) are terrible. You can get AD-FREE versions of this podcast episode on the crime pays patreon (https://www.patreon.com/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt)In this episode: We talk about the three main types of tissue systems in plants :Dermal (trichomes, guard cells)Ground (Parenchyma, Collenchyma, Sclerenchyma) & Vascular (xylem and phloem)What the hell are these tissues? Whatta they mean? Whatta they do?

If the ads are bumming you out, consider joining the Patreon where all podcast episodes are uploaded ad free at : https://www.patreon.com/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesntChrist Best is the State Botanist with US Fish and Wildlife Service for the state of Texas, a position he has held for 30 years. He has extensive knowledge of plants in the Rio Grande Valley of South Texas, specifically. He has worked with numerous rare and endangered plant species including Physaria thamnophila, Asclpeias prostrata, Thymophylla tephroleuca and many more. He has also worked with mycorrhizae on cactus roots, propagating rare and endangered species, and navigating the sometimes tenuous relationship with private landowners in the state. In this episode we talk about propagating rare plants, fostering symbiotic relationhips between roots and beneficial fungi and bacteria in the soil microbiome by intentionally innoculating plants in propagation, endangered plants, peyote conservation (or lack there of), how geology can affect the plant species that occur in an area, and what random but interested people can do for plant conservation.

A reminder: the ads on this podcast (as well as most podcasts) are terrible. You can get AD-FREE versions of this podcast episode on the crime pays patreon (https://www.patreon.com/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt)Dave Farina is the host of the "Professor Dave Explains" youtube channel, an educational youtube series exploring a wide variety of scientific topics and offering free eduational tutorials on subjects ranging from human evolution to organic chemistry to arthropod taxonomy. In recent years, he has published a number of videos debunking pseudo-science quacks, charlatans, creationists, and flat-earthers. Can't stand the ads? All episodes of the CPBBD podcast are on the Patreon, ad-free, for $5 a month at: https://www.patreon.com/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt

David Keller is a historian and archaeologist from West Texas who based out of Alpine, Texas.

Originally recorded as a class lecture, this podcast episode contains information on root structures and shoots and is accompanied by the PDF found at : https://drive.google.com/file/d/1vA_n1OWw2PpUJSqn3m5lbSOymH_aARB7/view?usp=drivesdkas well as chapters 23,24,&25 of "Raven Biology of Plants" textbook which can be downloaded for free on libgen.is in PDF form and read on a tablet.We cover : Apical Meristems, Lateral Meristems (and why monocots don't have any), root caps, cortex, endodermis, pericycle, , xylem, phloem and the components of each.

This is the spoken part of a lecture that was presented for patreon subscribers and students on the patreon. To see the accompanying PDF and hear ad-free podcast episodes sign up for the crime pays patreon at patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesntWe talk about the basic elements of plant identification, how it ties into plant evolution,  evolutionary trees aka cladograms, what "phylogeny" means and why monophyletic" and "synapomorphies" are such important terms. 

A reminder: the ads on this podcast (as well as most podcasts) are terrible. You can get AD-FREE versions of this podcast episode on the crime pays patreon (https://www.patreon.com/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt)In this episode we talk about Paronychia congesta, one of Texas' Rarest Plants, which grows on Caliche barrens in Jim Hogg County, as well as Caliche blazing stars, the Crested Peyote of West Texas, planting native plant gardens at Amada's House in Mirando City,and plenty more.

I became fixated on lycophytes because of some of the cool desert-dwelling members of the genus Selaginella, not to mention the utterly weird "clubmosses" that thrive in places as disparate as Northern Wisconsin and the slopes of volcanoes in New Zealand, but in this episode botanist Jeff Benca tells us about his work with relatives of the genus Isoetes ("Quillworts") and how their 250 million year old relatives might have been able to survive the biggest extinction in Earth's history, otherwise known as the Permian Extinction or "The Great Dying".Jeff's IG : @jeffbencaFB : Jeff BencaThumbnail is Phlegmariurus dalhousianus, photo by Jeff Benca. Other species mentioned in this episode is Lycopodium vestidum. Extinct species mentioned here that were thriving during the Permian Extinction Event and are related to Isoetes are Pleuromeia and Annalepis. Compounds that volcanic dykes and sills interacted with that were locked up in salt deposits and related to UV shield degradation during the Permian Extinction Event were methyl bromide and methyl chloride. 

A rant about West Texas Pines and the sand blazing star. At the 40 minute mark we begin our dive into the convoluted, confusing but utterly cool phenomenon of Alternation of Generations we talk mostly about Bryophytes (mosses and liverworts) and Lycophytes ("spikemosses" and "clubmosses"), and the ferns, but not gymnosperms or angiosperms). This turns into more of a "lesson" on the subject than a podcast episode. Key terms to remember : Gametophyte (haploid), Sporophyte (diploid)Haploid - 1 set of chromosomes aka 1 copy of the genomeDiploid - 2 sets of chromosomes aka 2 copies of the genome (one as a backup copy)Meiosis (takes a diploid cell and produces haploid daughter cells, two of which later come together to form a diploid zygote/sporophyte)Mitosis (Cell divides and produces cells identical to whatever the parent cell was, whether that parent cell was haploid or diploid. Mitosis doesn't reduce the chromosome number by half). Meiosis is synonymous with sex/reproduction/the production of haploid cells).Evolutionary lineages referenced in this episode and their phylogenetic classification:Bryophytes (An informal paraphyletic classification used to refer to the non-vascular Phyla Anthocerotophyta (hornworts), Marchantiophyta (liverworts), and Bryophyta (mosses) Lycophytes : Class Lycopodiopsida, contains 3 orders: Lycopodiales (1 Family : Lycopodiaceae; 3 Subfamilies : Huperzioideae, Lycopodielloideae, Lycopoideae), Selaginellales (1 family : Selaginellaceae), & Isoetales (1 family : Isoetaceae).Ferns : Class Polypodiopsida.Contains 4 Subclasses : Equisetidae (Horsetails), Marattiadae (Marratioid Bastards including Angiopteris evecta with 20' long fronds), Ophioglossidae (Whisk Ferns, Grape Ferns, Moonworts), and Polypodiidae (Leptosporangiate Ferns, aka the "classic" ferns including the majority of what people think of when they think of ferns including Maidenhairs, Cinnamon Ferns, Sensitive Ferns, Filmy Ferns, Forked Ferns, Cheilanthoid "Desert" Ferns, Mosquito Ferns, Tree Ferns, Aspleniums, etc.THUMBNAIL : Archegoniophore (haploid) and Non-photosynthetic Sporophyte (Diploid) of the Baja California liverwort Asterella palmeri, photo by Ken-Ichi Ueda

A conversation with Chemist, Genius, Botanist,, Propagator, & Madman Dan Hosage about Texas Native Plants, Texas History, and more.

NON-BOTANY PODCAST! This week's podcast is a conversation with my friend Jay Lesoleil,  political anthropologist and half the means behind the "Fucking Cancelled" podcast about right-wing populism, the failures of the American left, identitarianism, and how to build a non-insane American working class left.

Andrew Hipp is the director of the herbarium and Senior Sciensist and Researcher in Plant Systematics at Morton Arboretum in Chicago. This is one of the most fun and inspiring conversations I've had in a while, and it's about one of the most ecologically important genera of plants in the Northern Hemisphere : THE OAKS (genus Quercus).In this episode we talk about the 13,000 year old Palmer's Oak in the California Desert, what the hell "Delayed Fertilization" is (hint: it's not common but it's ubiquitous in all members of genus Quercus), Oak Evolution, we go in depth explaining oak pollination and flower morphology and how acorns develop and disperse, how acorns can stand get a bite taken out of them by a squirrel and still germinate, and what overall f*cking beasts of organisms oak tree and scrub oaks are. We also talk about the future of oaks, how oaks will deal with climate change, how oaks dealt with the incredibly hot temperatures during the Paleocene-Eocene Thermal Maximum (PETM), why there's so much oak diversity in Mexico, the multitude of ecological services oaks provide and the numerous ecological relationships oaks foster within a plant community, landscape and regional setting. This was a fun conversation and massively enlightening.Pre-Order Andrew's Book at : https://press.uchicago.edu/ucp/books/book/chicago/O/bo236998258.htmlOak Taxonomic Tree (as inferred from molecular genomic data)Oak Subgenus Cerris : EurasiaOak Subgenus Quercus : North AmericaSubgenus Quercus, section Lobatae (Red Oaks)Subgenus Quercus section QuercusSubgenus Quercus section VirentesSubgenus Quercus section PonticaeSubgenus Quercus section Protobalanus

Casey Williams is an botanist and plant ecologist specializing in aquatic plants - both plants that grow completely submerged and which can emerge above the water surface. In this episode, we discuss :-the stresses facing plants that grow underwater, -being limited by CO2 availability instead of water availability, -the endangered Texas Wild Rice, -how limestone geology influences aquatic plant growth by making CO2 more abundant, -utilizing aquatic plants and the fungi that grow on them for bioremediation and treating sewage at the local shitplant -how some aquatic plants have adapted to a paucity of dissolved carbon dioxide by supplementing with bicarbonate,-aquatic plants in deserts, and-how one plant in particular has utilized an evolutionary strategy more frequently employed by desert plants  (CAM) as a way to cope with fluctuations in CO2 availability. Books referenced which can be downloaded off libgen.is : Wetland Plants by CronkAquatic Photosynthesis by Falkowski

Vernonia lettermannii and other cool plants of Western Arkansas Novaculite, Ouachita Mountain Orogeny, Chert Glades of Western Missouri, the most obnoxious cicada species in the world, Detroit Rustic, Pittsburgh Museums, Shared Mountain Ranges of Appalachia and Morocco from the times of Pangaea, Northern Pennsylvania Glaciation, and more.

Alan Rockefeller is a mycologist and educator who has been studying mushrooms all over the world for the past 20 years and recently helped described two new species of Psilocybin mushroom from South Africa. He has helped numerous "citizen scientists" learn to DNA barcode fungi and led hundreds of free mushroom identification walks throughout North America. Alan encourages community science, free education and in addition is one of the kindest human beings I know. Also, one time in Mexico we almost both got trapped on top of a freezing mesa together.Website on Alan's DNA Barcoding Basics:https://wiki.counterculturelabs.org/wiki/DNA_sequencing

Dr. Daniela Cristina Zappi is a Brazilian botanist, plant collector, and research scientist at the herbarium of the Royal Botanic Gardens, Kew noted for studying and describing Neotropical flora, Rubiaceae, and Cactaceae. She has described over 90 species, most recently a new species in the cactus genus Uebelmannia (U.nuda). In this episode of Crime Pays, we discuss the different biomes and plant communities of Brazil, what "ecological islands" are, the biogeography of the cactus family, bat pollination in Pilosocereus, edaphic endemism in "ironstone" habitats of Northern Brazil and how iron-rich soils affect the evolution of the plants that grow on them, and why truckstop food in Brazil is not only tasty but also so damn healthy. 

Zoe Schlanger is the author of newly released book "The Light Eaters", which shines a new light on researchers studying plant "intelligence" and behavior.

The state of Texas is one of the most diverse states for plants (and geology) in the US, and contains a large number of plant species that can't be found anywhere else in the United States, yet at the same time an enormous amount of land and plant habitat is being destroyed every day (240,000 acres a year) ,pushing more than a few plant species towards population decline.This episode is a conversation with botanist and author Michael Eason from San Antonio Botanic Garden about plant conservation in Texas, why the Edwards Plateau is so special, walking the sometimes tenuous line between conservation and coordinating with private property owners in a state where 96% of the land is private, Texas Native Plant Landscaping, and a bunch more.

In this we talk with Andrew Conboy about street trees, urban forestry, habitat restoration, getting stoked on native plant life and how it's practical more than puritanical, Philly, botanic gardens, and more.

Two hours of rants about wonderful plants in Central Mexico. A follow-up to the previous episode and a description of plant species, taxonomic affinities and habitats encountered in the mountains of Querétaro and Guanajuato States, Mexico. Also a brief gear list and explanation of the various tools used when botanizing desert mountains.Why the genus Garrya (the silktassels) is so cool,A new Astrolepis sp. (Undescribed)Stevia pyrolifolia (Asteraceae) - it's waxy-as$ leaves at 10,000 feetDyscritothamnus filifolius (Asteraceae) and the limestone cliffs and sketchy roads it inhabitsVallesia glabra (Apocynaceae)Spondias purpurea (Anacardiaceae)Strombocactus disciformis (Cactaceae)Lophophora diffusa (Cactaceae)Mammillaria perezdelarosa ssp andersoniana Arctostaphylos pungens (Ericaceae)Comarostaphylis polifolia (Ericaceae)and a ton more 

This episode sponsored by Fiberpad, where you can glue duct-taped wheatgrass and fiberglass to your face in order to clear up any blemishes nice. What can limestone do for you and how does it form?A long, winding rant through the mountains of Querétaro about habitats and species encountered at elevations between 6,000' and 10,000' including:Karwinskia humboldtiana (Rhamnaceae)Baccharis conferta (Asteraceae)Penstemon campanulatus (Plantaginaceae) Ariocarpus kotschoubeyanus (Cactaceae)Kadenicarpus pseudomacrochele (Cactaceae)Isolatocereus dumortieri (Cactaceae)Opuntia stenopetala (Cactaceae)Pinguicula moranensis (Lentibulariaceae)Quercus crassipes (Fagaceae)Agave salmiana subsp. crassispina (Asparagaceae, Agavoideae)Dasylirion longissimum (Asparagaceae, Nolinoideae)Various Stevia sp.  (Asteraceae)featuring mountains made out of marble, seafloors made out of calcium-rich muck, and much more.

Jeff Ollerton is a pollination biologist and researcher based out of the EU and currently working in KunMing, Yunnan Province, China. He has written two excellent books - one entitled "Pollinators and Pollination" and another entitled "Birds and Flowers" about birds as pollinators. In this nearly two hour long conversation we talk about a variety of taxa as well as ecological phenomena. I am still kicking myself for forgetting to bring up the topic of the South African monocot genus Strelitzia (Order Zingiberales) which has a weighted-lever-mechanism that allows only birds to access the stamens.

In this episode we talk with field botanist Ernest Herrera about the rich floristic diversity of the Rio Grande Valley region of South Texas and Northern Mexico. We talk about a variety of cool plant species as well as the cultural history and cultural repression of this unique region, how it will adapt to climate change, how to change culture in order to get people to start appreciating their native flora more, how to convince people to kill their lawns, what happened to horned lizards, what's up with Texas Tortoises, and a sh*t ton more.Ernest Herrera is a botanist, herper, and field biologist born and raised in South Texas.

In this episode we talk about why plant "rescue" is a bullshit term, how Epipactis is probably pollinated hoverflies that it dupes, whats up with this new species of Asteraceae discovered in the Chihuahua desert, why people who don't know much about botany or ecology initially prefer non-native plants orver native ones, best place to get a Texas toast waffle machine, stealing a bus bin from Olive Garden, etcNote : I mistakenly say Deb "described" this new species of composite. I meant to say "discovered". Blame my sleep deficit gfy

In this episode we talk with Botanist Matt Berger about Death Valley Plants, discovering new species, Limestone endemic plants, Dune Beetles, Desert Shrimp, specifist.ecology and more.

This conversation will make you want to buy a microscope and will make you rethink the way you envision the Tree of Life, where animals, plants and fungi are just a tiny speck on the overall tree of life.Dr. Julia Van Etten (of the @Couch Microscopy Instagram page) talks about what the hell a Protist is and where you can find them (everywhere). We reveal how Protists are the fine particles that weave within and throughout our world."The Tree of Life is Really a Web".The paper that the thumbnail is from can be found at : https://journals.plos.org/plosbiology/article/figures?id=10.1371/journal.pbio.3002395

In this episode we take a break from botany-related content to talk with my friend and fellow former locomotive engineer and railroader Lance Jenkins about railroading, sobriety, sad male archetypes in the US, stealing overtime, precision scheduled railroading and how it's responsible for the wreck in East Palestine Ohio,  "The Sun Train", and a whole lot more.

South Texas Sandsheet, Uvalde County Botany, Using a Leafblower & Diatomaceous Earth to rid yourself of crabs, what the sh*t is a Heterokont aka Stramenophile, Texas Men Will Be Able to Admit Having Feelings in 2028, and more 

In this episode we talk with Hunter Martinez of the Cactus Quest YouTube Channel about how he got into growing cacti from seed and lurking on them in habitat. We discuss the spirituality of loving plants and deserts, the pros and cons of the collector habit common among this family of plants, why so many cacti grow on limestone geology, and the benefits of growing from seed over purchasing full-grown plants.

A series of extended rants about "F*ck the Honeybees", trying to settle beefs between friends, Male Primate Rivalry, Riding Trains in Mexico in 2005 & Brakemen with gold fronts, spreading the cult of native plant gardening via demonstration by example and killing lawns.

A long-winded rant about the social media phenomenon known as Instagram Drug Bros™️ and trying to encourage them to seek spiritual refuge (como se dice nice) in education about plant ecology and evolution rather than just the hoarding and collecting of plants that may have been sourced through somewhat unethical means. Why is plant habitat just as, if not more important than the plant itself? How is the ecological context in which a plant evolves inseparable from the plant itself? Can we get Instagram Drug Bros ™️  to start studying and collecting data on things like native solitary bees? What are the means through which Instagram Drug Bros™️ can expand their scope of interest to include things like phylogenies, breeding systems, pollination ecology, and geologic substrate? Why are so many cacti obligate out-crossers? Why is peyote self-fertile? Why do so many angiosperms produce bisexual flowers and what the hell is a breeding system?Also includes a nice rant about  a vestigial population of Agave unvittata found growing on a limestone cliff face above a freeway in San Antonio. Was there ever a basement in the Alamo or was that just a BS story that that huckster psychic conjured up in order to milk PeeWee out of cash?

This is a science-heavy episode with Dr. Michael Windham, specialist in Cheilanthoid Ferns curator at Duke Herbarium. Even if you're not interested in this group, they're a great case study in numerous fascinating phenomena including convergent evolution, biogeography (dispersal vs. vicariance), why DNA sequencing is important to taxonomy, self-cloning to escape the limitations of being a fern in a desert, etc. "Cheilanthoid Ferns" are a remarkable group of ferns - they grow in habitats where ferns seemingly shouldn't be able to grow - out of cracks in rocks and cliff faces in regions that are both usually very hot and very dry. Genera like Astrolepis, Myriopteris, Notholaena, Argyrochosma, Pellaea (the "coffe fern" in California), Cheilanthes, and more have been blowing my mind years as I frequently encountered them co-occurring in habitats with Cacti and spiny legumes. To the East, Myriopteris alabamensis grows all over drier rocky "microsites" throughout the Eastern half of North America. These ferns are often either fuzzy as hell or blue, chalky-mint-green, and waxy with a wirey rachis. It'd be hard for anybody who takes a look at them to not be taken with how cool they look. But how do they get it done? What are some of their adaptations? What is the evoutionary age of the family and where is the origin of diversity? What the hell is a "gametophyte" and are they unisexual or the fern equiavelent of being protogynous (and what the hell does "protogynous" mean anyway?). Why is molecular sequencing (looking at the DNA) so important for figuring out how all these plants are related to each other? What is convergent evolution and why have so many genera in this subfamily evolutionarily converged on the same strategies to cope with life in a dry environment? How do you identify species when so many of them look superficially alike and don't produce flowers (what we normally use to identify plants)? How long can their damn spores last (answer : centuries, in some cases). We cover it all in this two hour podcast.  If there's a term we use that you're not familiar with, look it up or join the Crime Pays patreon and send me a message. A brief list of topics somewhat sloppily-arranged in an "episode map" is below. Note: until I can alienate the casino advertisers, they seem to be especially herpetic on this episode. Ad-free episodes can be found on the Patreon.apomixis : 1 hour 20evolutionary age ; 75 yasynapomorphies : revolute margins and pseudo-indusiaconvergent evolutioncenter of diversity indicates center of originno farina in Notholaena, but flavonoid compounds on capitate hairs resembling cotton-candytalking about cheilanthoid ferns to explain convergent evolution and how dna can resolve evolutionary relationships difference between eusporangiate ferns and leptosporangiateage of viability of fern sporesalternation of generationsantheridiogendispersal vs. vicariance 1:31apomixis 1:36

This episode consists of a rant about code-switching and friendship/cordiality through friction and being a pain in the ass, along with why dissecting flowers (and not just taking them at face value) with a razorblade or knife is important for understanding evolution, plant breeding systems and pollination ecology, what being "protogynous" is and why so many early-braching angiosperms do it, trying to offend advertisers, helping cacti bang in order to produce seed, and how an undescribed Gymnopilus species found growing on a shrubby Ambrosia species in the Baja California Desert  (thumbnail photo for this episode on spotify) actually contains the psychoactive compound Psilocybin (albeit at very small amounts) as confirmed through HIgh Pressure Liquid Chromatography

A conversation with Tony Figueroa, Senior Manager for the Invasive Plant Program at the Tucson Audubon Society (no affiliation with the National Org) about preventing Buffelgrass and Stinknet from smothering fragile Desert Ecosystems in Arizona. We also discuss why some in the "online permaculture community" (oh gahd) have such an aversion to any and all glyphosate use due to a misunderstanding about how it's used. Other topics include using an electric chainsaw to vandalizeCallery Pears and Crepe Myrtles and other hotricultural atrocity street trees, Why Texas is so uptight, how an invasive arugula-like plant is invading the desert near Gila Bend, and the growth rate of Saguaro Cacti.

A conversation with Dr. Kathleen Pryer (Director, Duke University Herbarium) and Dr. Michael Windham, (Curator of Vascular Plants, Duke University Herbarium) about the University's Decision to cut costs by closing the herbarium as well as the general trend in modern US Academia of failing to recognize the importance of Botany in society as a whole as well as other attempts to defund it.We also touch on the cheilanthoid fern genus Gaga, named after both Lady Gaga and a section of the roughly 1500 base-pair-long MatK plastid gene region and why cheilanthoid ferns (aka desert ferns) are so damn cool. Listen to this episode Ad-Free on the Crime Pays Patreon.Abandon your pre-med or law studies, tell your parents to get bent, and study plant & fungal science, evolution and ecology instead.

Rants about encountering a cool new legume species in the fog deserts and giant cactus landscapes of Baja California, the diversity of perennial raaaaagweeds in the deserts, Gabbro soils, a buckwheat that produces flowers along the ground, Arugula acting invasive as hell in the Arizona Desert, escaping the cultural disease of Southern California, the oils and secondary metabolites of Eriodictyon sessilifolium, a Gymnopilus species that likely contains psilocybin and eats dead Ambrosia chenopodiifolia, etc.Includes a select reading from an old book of railroad stories I wrote ten years ago starting around 1:05:00

A long, disjointed rant about using and writing Dichotomous Keys and why it's sometimes a process of grasping for straws or throwing a bunch of stuff to a wall to see what sticks, what an ideal floral key might look like if it were written by a neurotic, rambling schmuck fixated on ecology and biogeography. Other subjects include the gradation between ecotypes and species in Fremontodendron as well as the mycorrhizal associations found with Ornithostaphylos oppositifolia (Ericaceae, Arbutoideae) in the chaparral of Baja California, Mexico.

More Deranged Rants, this time about Javelina Management, Getting City Approval for Cactus Restoration and Street Trees, growing endangered plants from seed, Eocene Sandstone, growing xeric ferns from spore, working the Ozol Local and running freight trains along San Francisco Bay and much more

Rants about Montezuma Cypress on the Rio Grande, Cool Desert Ferns in West Texas and the Subfamily Cheilanthoideae of the fern family Pteridaceae, DEA permits for Peyote, Mountain Lions vs. Auodads, kind Caucasian Birders behaving at the Mexican border, funding the research station in South Texas with the nice bathroom, and more.

Rants about South Texas Geology, Geologic Timeline Apps for your D@mn phone, why its better to water before a freeze, being dragged by a freight train leaving Ft. Worth Texas, how much self-hate someone must have in order to lower themselves to the point of patronizing Subway Sandwich shops, and more.

Rants about freezing while trying to sleep in the back of a truck in Lordsburg, New Mexico, why Agaves are monocarpic, the importance of having a "target list" should you ever get diagnosed with a terminal illness, fruit dispersal in Frankenia johnstonii, how rhyolite is just like Satan's play-doh, the biogeography of peyote gourds (Lagenaria sp.), microdosing LSD in the arboretum, and moreThumbnail pic is Pellaea truncata (Pteridaceae)

A roughly 77 minute rant about how an Australian plant in the legume Family named Crotalaria cunninghamii "looks a like a bird" but only to humans who have smoked copious amounts of weed and certainly not as a product of natural selection, how glyphosate works and why it's the lesser of two evils when used for restoration and invasive plant management, and how dwarf ponies dressed in Hawaiian shirts could be used for the eradication of invasive grasses in desert habitats.

Michelle Cloud-Hughes is a Cactus researcher, botanist and Desert Rat who specializes in one of my favorite cactus genera - Cylindropuntia: the genus of the dreaded Chollas. She has described a new species of Cholla, Cylindropuntia chuckwallensis, and spent 2 decades trudging up mountains and rockscapes of the Mojave, Sonoran and Baja Desert. In this podcast we talk about how Chollas bang, why deserts are some of the best places to study plant evolution, and why the sh*t they can't put solar panels on top of the parking lots of any of America's vast and expansive shopping and automobile culture slums.