Your place is a mess? Didn't make your bed this morning? Get those dirty clothes off the floor and stack those dishes you were leaving for the Ayi... Guess what? We're finding out where you call home and we're coming over! In this podcast, get ready to reveal all and open your door to someone other than your nosy neighbors! Learn how to say where you live, in Mandarin. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0877

Everybody needs a little time away... and in this podcast you're going to learn how to ask for it in Chinese. With the plethora of guests you're going to be fielding in your new found home away from home, chances are this will be high-frequency vocab for you. So listen in and learn... and get ready for your new favorite hobby: tour guide. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/1030

If only Dr. Seuss had learned Chinese, children China-over could have had a new chant to repeat after their teachers. "Haohao xuexi, tiantian xiangsheng" could have gotten a lot more fun. Now, listen to Dr. Zhu's version of the classic, 'The Mao in the Mao.' Learn this little story all over again, in Mandarin. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0872

There are a few ways of dealing with getting stopped at an apartment complex gate. There is the 'tunnel vision' technique. To truly perfect this skill you must be on a bicycle to facilitate quick getaways and be immune to yelled threats. Another technique is the 'dense foreigner' skill. No explanation needed. Finally, there is the 'listen to the ChinesePod podcast' technique, highly recommended and transferable to any third degree grilling, Chinese or not. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/1023

This is the formal introduction to the formal introduction lesson: You've mastered your Chinese hello and don't know what to do with that awkward silence. Now what? 1) Lose any sentimental attachment to your previous identity--you're going to need a new name. 2) Smile, bow, handshake, kiss, twiddle your thumbs, or curtsy... it's all good. Oh yeah, and 3) listen to this lesson to learn how to introduce yourself, Mandarin-style. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0868

Last time this happened you were busted for having fake ID, and robbed of your chance at an illicit beer-enhanced evening. No, they don't think you're under 21 anymore, but you can tell yourself that if you're having a late-twenties crisis. The China internet cafe ID check. Don't ask why, just bring your passport, listen to this podcast, and stay away from anything your momma wouldn't want you looking at. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0992

Thirty days has September... April, June, and November. All the rest... are so easy you won't even need a rhyme. In this podcast, learn the months of the year in Mandarin Chinese. It's as easy as 1, 2, 3....4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0864

You have an inkling from a post-packing teeter on the bathroom scale that your baggage may be overweight. Your only hope to avoid overweight fees is charming that handsome check-in clerk with a batting of eyes and barrage of Chinese. That, or employing strategic passport placement to cover the scale display numbers. In this lesson, use your Mandarin to check-in your bags and curry some bulkhead seat favors. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0988

There are two methods for learning the days of the week in Chinese. One: this podcast. Two: personalized Chinese days of the week undies. Since the latter seem to be the one eighties fad that has yet to be resurrected, this podcast might be the easier way to get them in your head. And creates less laundry. Listen in and learn, it's as easy as 1, 2, 3... 4, 5, 6, 7. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0860

Good things come in threes. Case in point: watch, bag, DVD. In this case: keys, wallet, phone. All good things, and good things to remember to bring with you when you leave the house. In this podcast, learn how to do a Mandarin Chinese mental checklist before leaving the house, to make sure that you don't end up locked out, penniless and searching in vain for a germy public phone on a borrowed dime. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0985

Could it be key to the Chinese ability to eat three oil saturated meals a day and maintain their girlish (or boyish) figures? No. Trust us. Even the fruit salad comes with mayonnaise. Your western genes weren't made for this diet. So listen to this Mandarin lesson on eating fruit salad and come prepared with loose pants. Make peace with your paunch and revel in the Buddha belly noogies given by admiring locals. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0856

In China, there aren't really that many dogs around to be afraid of, but a good chunk of the population has a paralyzing fear of dogs. This lesson will help you learn the Chinese to deal with that fear. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0980

The Chinese claim to have discovered the key to a long life... eating noodles on your birthday. While they struggle for immortality, you the Newbie can start with a little mortality, and learn how to order some in Mandarin. Your own struggle may have less to do with life and more to do with slippery wetness and chopstick management, but at least you won't starve awaiting your next birthday. Long live the noodle. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0852

Sure, we've all got our skeletons in the closet. It's just when someone opens the door that we get a little red in the face. In today's podcast, the boss makes a slightly uncomfortable discovery. Should you find yourself entangled in a little 'office scandal,' listen to this podcast to learn how to get yourself out of it! In Chinese! Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0972

In the hierarchy of language learning, there are the 'haves' and the 'havenots.' The 'haves' are those that know how to ask for something. The 'havenot' is that guy over there wildly gesturing, grunting, pointing and flailing at the laoban. In China, of course, as a 'have', you may find you can't always get what you want; but if you try you can get what you need... by listening to this Mandarin lesson. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0849

The first cuddly creature to be used in a diplomatic capacity. A country full of bamboo to eat its way through. In its stuffed animal capacity, the first bear to give teddy a run for its money. The bear that seemingly has it all still wants more. Find out the panda's secret wish in this Mandarin Chinese lesson. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0964

You've arrived, and want to fit in, so start with the national Chinese pastime: cell phone talking (well, it's better than taking up smoking). First, you're going to need a partner in conversation, so pull out one of those linty business cards you shoved in your pocket days ago, any one will do. If you can't read it, no problem, chances are his name is Mr. Li. Now, plug in this lesson and you're set... pick up the phone and pray he's not in. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0844

You've always had a secret affinity for borscht, and a secret compulsion to buy nesting dolls at neighborhood garage sales. Enter this lesson, where we transport you to the land that gave us Zhivago, caviar, perogie-making babushkas (bless their souls), and huge fur hat sporting dedushkas. Get ready to warm yourself from the insides out with a vodka-filled journey in Mandarin Chinese to Moscow. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0930

Answering the question "Can you speak Chinese?" in the affirmative is always a proud moment. Perhaps, yes, literally, one moment. Let's call the inevitable next moment, with its subsequent barrage of language, ear assault. But hey, you're already ahead of the game because you have this podcast to learn the art of how to keep the Mandarin flowing, and you have and will perfect the invaluable fake 'i understand' head nod. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0840

Perhaps best known for remarkable food items such as spicy smelly preserved vegetables and some 'alternative' meats, this capital of Korea is known for a lot more than than its eating. Learn in this lesson about the city of Seoul. A place of delicious food, friendly people, and facelifts. This place has it all! Learn about it in this podcast, in Mandarin Chinese. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0902

Discovering these 800-plus podcast lessons, likely you've been up for days, listening. You're not tired yet, due to the language-learning high that doesn't wear off until after lesson 452. However, a language full of sh's has been known to produce a trance-like sleepy state. The cure: just turn up the volume and let this podcast wake you up. Learn how to talk tired, in Chinese. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0836

We've got the Summer Palace; they've got Versailles. We've got Shaolin Temple; they've got Notre Dame. They've got stinky cheese; we've got stinky tofu. They, eau de toilette; us, squat toilettes. We're the Paris of the east; they're... Paris. In this podcast, learn about the city of romance and fall in love with it all over again in your new passion... Mandarin Chinese. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0866

Reports churning out of celebrity Los Angeles have sparked concern over the latest anti-aging fad: drinking of the tears of young Asian girls. We, Chinese-English speakers of the world all have a responsibility to prevent the cruelty of tear harvesting from taking place. Band together and learn in this podcast how to tell someone to stop crying, and force those movie stars to go back to botox. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0829

08-08-2008. The day we've all been waiting for. The factories are closed, the cars are parked away. The buildings are ready, the skies are blue (hopefully). The world has arrived in Beijing and we at ChinesePod are here to cheer everyone on. Jiayou Olympics. Jiayou China. Listen to this podcast and celebrate the opening of the 2008 Summer Olympic Games in Beijing with us. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0961

Little did you know when you started learning Mandarin that you would be placed in the thick of an age-old war of 'where' words. Decide which camp has your allegiance--the roll of your tongue 'nar,' favorite of Beijing cabbies and northern ayis. Or 'nali,' a lighter, double-syllable approach to the oft-asked location query. You're gonna need this podcast and a 'nar/nali' support group to help, so listen in and make your stand on where you stand, in Chinese. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0825

The debate over who invented this game is not as heated as the one about who invented the noodle, thankfully. Perhaps the noodle debate could be settled for all time by a nice round of rock, scissors, paper... or was it cloth? Either way, next time you're in a quandary, learn how to settle it in this Mandarin Chinese lesson. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0960

Contrary to popular notions, no, we're not all Americans. The nationality guessing game: favorite exchange of bored cabbies and their captive audience passengers. Expressing nationality in Mandarin Chinese is not hard--unless you are Azerbaijani, Djiboutian, or hail from the Republic of Vanuatu, and even then a bit of research and transliteration gymnastics will do the trick. Listen to this podcast and learn how to reclaim your identity. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0821

We assume you will never be a foreign soldier in a Chinese army, and sincerely hope that world peace is attained and this lesson will soon be obsolete. However, after 955 lessons it was about time that we taught you how to 'charge' in Mandarin. Don't forget that this vocabulary can also be applied in your battle for daily subway survival. Listen in and learn how to be a brave soldier, in Chinese. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0956

When faced with the 'Do Chinese people really say ni hao ma or are they just succumbing to Englese' quandary, here is a lesson you can use to circumvent these deep unanswerable how-are-you-dilemmas. An alternative greeting option in Mandarin. In this podcast, learn how to ask after a peep in all new exciting ways. And special bonus--two ambiguous answers in one dialogue. Do the Chinese know how to evade, or what? Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0816

A little name-dropping serves one well in many environments. 'Brad Pitt' is just too long to say in Chinese, so let's start with a more business-oriented angle first. You may recognize your nosy neighbor in the conversation that follows. And, if you really want to impress him, throw in a little of your buddy 'Bill Gates' and you'll be the envy of all the 'hood. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0952

At this juncture, we know some of you bespectacled types are going to show-off your 4,000 character-plus savvy and say you read the Chinese newspaper. This lesson, however, is about options. Some of us lazy types just want to know what's going on in the world, without losing our eyesight over morning coffee. In this podcast, learn how to ask for your preference of the daily news, in Mandarin. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0812

Olive-ball may not be big in China, but in Laowai land it is. English, American and Aussie styles may differ quite a bit, but they all hold the same potential for a lovers' spat on a lazy weekend afternoon. Couch, beer, game... or... wife, mall, shopping. In this podcast, our sports fan finds himself in this volatile situation. Listen in to see how he handles it, in Mandarin Chinese. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0948

The concept of green eggs is not one so particularly far-fetched in China. Could a 1,000 year old egg be any other color? Sam-I-am has found his place in the sun. In this podcast, green eggs and ham revisited with a Chinese bent--fried rice as their companion. With a mouse, in a house, on the train... yeah, pretty much anywhere. Expand your Mandarin palate with this lesson. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0808

"So, I’m on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama... " If Carl the grounds-keeper can make it down to China to play a round of golf, so can you. But you'll need the lingo, and that is where we come in. After this lesson, you'll be equipped to tell one of your three caddies when you want the driver or the iron, in Mandarin. So you've got that goin’ for ya, which is nice. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0941

If we were slangpod.com, this lesson would be called 'whattup.' But for the sake of warding off potential improper English critics, we'll stick to the Queen's English just this once. Enough about English, what about Chinese? How do you greet your peeps? Listen in to this podcast and get the lingo down, bro, in Mandarin. Word. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0804

Today a little musical interlude for your listening pleasure. This ain't no muzac, nor is it out of tune KTV. On the other hand, it isn't Coldplay nor is it S.H.E. This podcast is a ChinesePod gig that's gonna make the Grammy's come a knockin'. Listen here as we toot our own horn and play a little ditty on a few instruments of choice. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0937

Now that 2008 has been declared the "International Year of Languages" by the UN, it's time to buckle down and study Mandarin for world peace. Start with this podcast and learn how to understand your teacher so you don't end up in the detention hall because you confused 'sit down and shut up' with 'stand up and sing a Chinese rendition of 'Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting.' Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0800

No, this isn't the mid-evening call soliciting those 'other' services provided at certain questionable establishments... this is the all important, rip you from the womb of your 400 count Egyptian cotton fluffy feather pillowed bliss morning call. Now, you're gonna want to make sure your Chinese '4' pronunciation is tiptop before attempting this feat, should you have an early morning flight. Listen to this podcast and be sure to be the niao that catches the worm. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0926

The humble soup. Brought to life by a symphony of slurps... worthy enough to elevate eating to an oral concerto. In this podcast, get 'drinking' with a Chinese lesson to teach you to embrace, celebrate, and justify mouth noise. Take it from us and start gulping--table manners are sooooo passé. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0796

The Mr. Noodles rage that swept elementary schools in the 80s (crunchy raw with seasoning packet sprinkled on top) doesn't hold a candle to Chinese people's love affair with this quick lunch. Nutritional value: no. Great taste: debatable. Cheap and easy: of course. The recipe for any well-loved Chinese meal. Get your soup on in this podcast, and get yourself some instant noodles, in Mandarin. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0920

No, we are not talking about the Ron Burgundy type of class, we are talking about the kind you go to...or at least supposed to go to. So don't skip class, and definitely don't skip this podcast. You will slowly become as wise as a miniature Buddha with yet another Chinese lesson under your belt. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0793

If you think the people all look alike, wait until you see the luggage coming out of the conveyor belt. Apparently 394 of the 395 other passengers bought their black $15 'Samsonite' luggage from the same Pearl Market back alley. Mistaken luggage identity crisis.... what to do? Find it or not, fear not... there's more luggage where that came from... and underwear shops... and Chinese lesson podcasts to get you there. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0915

Oft over looked due to its timid tone and quiet presence, this Mandarin Chinese tone is anything but passive. In this podcast, we visit the sometimes forgotten and difficult to define tone that makes love, not war... impartially takes no sides and conscientiously objects to raising its voice. Its only flaw is perhaps a slight tendency toward wimpiness, but hey it'll never get in your face... the neutral tone. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0788

You've been stuck on city streets too long. Lace up your shoes, point in the direction of trees, and trade in red China for green with this podcast on hiking. Whether it's the trails of Yangming Shan, the pseudo-hills of She Shan, or the dizzying cliffs of Huang Shan, explore the woods that inspired the Chinese painters and poets of old, and see the China behind the bustle Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0907

Here we arrive at the last stage in the rise and fall of the four tones of Mandarin Chinese, and poor fourth is a bit of an enigma. Due to his angry tone of voice and overbearing sharpness, some find it hard to get to know him. In this podcast, we peel back the layers and help fourth tone make peace with his inner child. He's not mad, just misunderstood. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0784

The apparatus may be the same. The venue, similar--give or take a few trees. The wafts of the mouth-watering scent of roasting flesh. You begin to reminisce over the long days of summers past-- replete with hot dogs, steak, jacket potatoes... but WAIT. What do you see... whaaat the... Yes, the medium is the same, but the materials are very, very different. Listen to this podcast and learn about Chinese barbecue. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0898

The third tone is basically the middle child of the Mandarin line-up. It gets abused like a red-headed step child. Sometimes it's third, sometimes it gets ridden roughshod by second tone, and sometimes it straps a fourth tone on for good times. Third tone suffers from low self-esteem and is still trying to find its true self. Listen to this podcast and give the third tone the love it missed out on as a child. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0780

Yeaaaah, you've been known to chang a little ge when no one is around. So, stop the bashful act... have a few beers if that helps... and get your KTV on. Select a forgotten 80s tune (Purple Rain is a rousing melody), turn on the reverb. Wrestle the microphone from your partner in song, and see a side of the Chinese you never knew existed. Listen to this podcast and learn how to join in, in Mandarin. Episode link: https://www.chinesepod.com/0892