It's been over a week and no firm has yet to announce that it will match Milbank's latest series of raises. Or, more accurately, cost of living adjustments. Meanwhile, Cravath took the plunge on income partnerships, becoming the latest firm to abandon the time-honored one-tier partnership model. And the turmoil over Nixon Peabody's effort to sneak Donald Trump onboard as a client sparks calls for leadership change.

For most major law firms, the prospect of representing Donald Trump and stamping the firm's name on his nutty pet arguments is a non-starter. Over at Nixon Peabody, the firm jumped right in, bringing on the former president as a client and filing a brief complete with the zany "Brandenburg means it can't be an insurrection" argument that Trump's been having all his lawyers make. Partners don't seem happy about this turn of events. But, since we recorded, we've learned that firm leadership doesn't really care that partners are concerned. We also discuss Sam Bankman-Fried's absurd courtroom sketch and the aesthetic brilliance of Jane Rosenberg's dark and brooding courtroom sketches. Finally, a number of Biglaw firms sent an open letter castigating law school deans for campus antisemitism.

Stroock strikes out. -------------- We thought the end might be near for Stroock & Stroock & Lavan when we recorded this episode. We were right. And with that, the Biglaw world moves to exclusively one or fewer ampersands. A senior lawyer tried to pull a prank on an airplane. It ended badly. And we discuss the last time newly elected Speaker of the House Mike Johnson tried to run something. It was a law school and it failed in epic fashion.

LSAT's decision is not totally... illogical. ----------- The LSAT is ditching logic games from upcoming tests and the Above the Law gang is conflicted over whether or not that's a good thing. There's a good argument that the section disproportionately disadvantaged folks with vision issues. On the other hand that was a deficiency that admissions could address on the back end, but without that score schools no longer have a pattern recognition evaluation -- and what's more "thinking like a lawyer" than pattern recognition? We also discuss NYU Law Review getting sued by Stephen Miller and a lawyer citing Hitler approvingly.  

A Clio Cloud Conference roundup. ----- Joe checks in from the 2023 Clio Cloud Conference joined by Legaltech News editor-in-chief Stephanie Wilkins, dean of legal tech journalism Bob Ambrogi, and Legal Talk Network producer Laurence Colletti to talk about legal technology and the small law market. We talk artificial intelligence, hot legal trends, and access to justice.

Also Donald Trump's lawyers continue making mistakes. ----- Donald Trump's attorneys don't have a leg to standing on. Get it? They keep making bad standing arguments and the judge has now threatened sanctions. A former prosecutor arrested in road rage incident because... Florida man. Meanwhile, a judge has stopped hearing cases after he started "spraying bullets" in road rage. Though he says he really doesn't remember it -- you know, how gunfights just slip your mind. And we welcome the return of the time-honored but always stupid debate over the value of cold calling in law school.

This week we chat about the First Amendment, sexual harassment, and, yet again, Blackface in the legal community. ----- Most Americans don't understand the First Amendment... just like Amy Coney Barrett! More sexual harassment allegations in Biglaw, which gives us an opportunity to consider the impact of senior attorneys coming forward to prompt change. And, yes, there is talk about Blackface at the end because it sadly keeps coming up.

Sam Alito might be citing witchhunters from the 1600s as authority on the meaning of the Constitution, but the Fifth Circuit is taking it a step further and fighting over how the Bible might interpret a statute governing class action lawsuits. The MyPillow guy lost his composure in a video deposition for all the world to see. Probably had a bad night's sleep on some lumpy pillows. And it was quite the worrying summer for law students. Summer associates don't trust that they're going to get full-time employment and exploding offers have proliferated throughout the industry. At least one firm with a low retention rate this year still found the time to take everyone to the club.

In our latest chat, we discuss Biglaw strip club outings, Jeff Clark taking time away from his indictment to be an idiot online, and associates unhappy with a law firm's office tracker. ----- Gunderson Dettmer got a lot of flack on Reddit from folks accusing the firm of hosting a summer event at a strip club. It wasn't a strip club, but it was a nightclub with scantily clad go-go dancers, which doesn't make it much better from the perspective of a harassment-free work environment. And after making it rain at the club, the firm ended up no-offering a bunch of summers anayway. Jeff Clark took shots at Neal Katyal on social media. He missed. And Goodwin unveiled an office presence tool to let folks know who is in and out of the office at all times. Folks don't seem happy about it, but is it just the price we pay for hybrid work?

Also, how to create a culture that welcomes Biglaw vacations. ------ Amy Coney Barrett recently spoke publicly about how she longs for the days when most Americans couldn't recognize Supreme Court justices, highlighting that justices don't have to be there long for a culture of unaccountability to set in. Speaking of which, the majority of Clarence Thomas's former clerks signed an open letter shrugging off his ethical problems. But the real question is... did any of them bother to read a draft before signing on? And a managing partner wrote the firm about the virtues of taking a real vacation and got some blowback from attorneys.

A little Broadway for this week's title. ----- Law firm productivity is down, but are we really worried about that? It's a traditional harbinger of layoffs, though something about this market feels a bit different. Meanwhile, a right-wing advocacy group has sued a pair of Biglaw firms for offering fellowship programs aimed at improving diversity -- offering a lesson in forum shopping along the way. Finally, former ASS Law professor Joshua Wright brought a defamation suit against former students for harming his professional reputation. He admits that, as a married professor, he was sleeping with multiple students simultaneously but seems to think that's NOT the part that ruins his reputation.

The Fifth Circuit judge made a bunch of headlines last week and we jump into all of them. Plus Texas's use of water saws and Ron De Santis isn't faring well in his battle with Disney. (Always bet on Mickey.)

And they're running out of a bunch of lawyers. A surprising level of jerk content this week as we discuss the value of real Jamaican jerk seasoning, Clarence Thomas getting his RV financed by a health care executive, Alan Dershowitz complaining about his neighbors, and Judge Aileen Cannon botching straightforward criminal law (more than once).

Elena Kagan and Samuel Alito have... very different takes on judicial ethics and what Congress's role is in all of it. Plus, Lindsey Graham has a change of heart about a federal judge because it's politically expeditious. And a deep dive into starting salaries for attorneys.

Alabama is just straight up defying the Supreme Court on election law... but when liberals propose the same thing all of a sudden it's a crisis for the rule of law. I see how that goes. Also a hard-working Biglaw staffer gets caught up in a political backlash to what seems like an honest misunderstanding. And law students have no freaking idea what they're in for.

For real though, don't mention your law school rank in your wedding vows. You may think it cute but literally no one else does. Clarence Thomas has been workin that lifetime tenure racket from the very beginning. And ,careful what you post on social media, unless, of course you just enjoy having to go through the same trial multiple times.

Also more mandatory office policies and a brief primer on the Federal Circuit controversy. The Supreme Court's ethical lapses reached such heights that a fellow federal judge had to step in to publicly ask what's wrong with these people. And it's not just the big ticket scandals anymore, with the Court's reputation so tarnished that folks freak out over non-scandals (or at the most minor ones) like Venmogate and Sonia's Book Club. Meanwhile, more Biglaw firms opt for a 4-day mandatory office policy, though there's still not a lot of momentum behind the move. And Judge Pauline Newman of the Federal Circuit continues to fight against her colleagues for her right to continue to hear cases.

Between threatening Facebook and suing Wachtell, the Chief Twit is pretty active. We also talk about the end of the Supreme Court Term and the struggles in bar prep. ------ Elon Musk is desperately seeking a win and if he can't get it in a cage match against Mark Zuckerberg, he'll try his hand in court. Spoiler: it's going to go just about as badly. He's sent a legal threat to Facebook that fails to articulate much in the way of a legal issue and now he's suing Wachtell for being the lawyers that forced him to buy the company in the first place. Meanwhile the Supreme Court Term ended in a blaze of gaslighting and a hail of disingenuous spin. And now law schools are facing legal threats if their student body looks diverse. Finally, bar prep is just a little bit more stressful for students prepping with Themis, which continues to suffer website problems in the critical weeks before the exam.

More Supreme Court scandal news as Justice Samuel Alito tried to run out ahead of a ProPublica report with his own Wall Street Journal pre-rebuttal. We're all for confronting your problems head on, but Alito only managed to make himself look worse. A judge in D.C. sides against a man with a marijuana prescription because his neighbor didn't like it. So much for property rights. And we discuss the new Above the Law Top Law Schools ranking for the year!

Because someday you might face massive espionage charges... or something. Donald Trump is struggling to find representation in his multi-count federal criminal case and it shows because he just can't stop saying incredibly damaging stuff about his case. Like how he will plead guilty for money. This is what happens after decades developing a reputation for stiffing attorneys. We also have more layoffs from Orrick and Reed Smith -- what can we glean from these moves? And a Massachusetts court expanded the standard for ineffective assistance of counsel to include instances where the lawyer is clearly bigoted.

When you think about it, is a deputized bear really weirder than keeping classified documents in a bathroom with two chandeliers? Donald Trump got indicted since we last convened. And then the case got assigned to the same judge who got professionally scorched for trying to bail Trump out in the first place. Apparently he thinks the government pays people to plead guilty? It's all very weird. Davis Polk plays follow-the-leader with Skadden and announces a 4-day in-office work week -- is this the start of a trend or not? Barber Ranen is no longer Barber Ranen after racist, sexist, and antisemitic emails between the founders at their last firm came to light. There's a lot to be said about baked in structures of discrimination and casual bigotry, but also... how did labor and employment attorneys think it was a good idea to put this in writing? And we talk about a bear cop.

Maybe the woman who called the cops on a Black birdwatcher should try using ChatGPT to make up some fake caselaw for her appeal because the real ones aren't helping. After a year of sword rattling that higher education is "hostile to free speech" because students don't appropriately sit quiet and absorb what speakers on stage are laying down, the media grandstanding came to a halt -- and in the case of the NY Post went into reverse -- amid calls to defund CUNY Law School over a speaker. Apparently it's only a "free speech crisis" in one direction. Meanwhile, the Second Circuit seems highly skeptical of Central Park Karen's claim that her former employer defamed her for citing its zero tolerance for racism in firing her. And by "highly skeptical" we mean the panel appears to have granted oral argument simply to dunk on her lawyer. Speaking of lawyers getting dunked on, the hapless attorneys who filed a response filled with fake caselaw they got off of ChatGPT are in serious trouble. But don't mistake this for "the perils of technology" because this was a failure of good old-fashioned lawyering.

And the Supreme Court's ethical problems just won't go away. Biglaw has always played follow-the-leader. Usually it's about bonuses, but Skadden is taking a big gamble that the rest of the industry will follow it back to a Monday-Thursday office work week. If the rest of Biglaw doesn't follow suit, the giant sucking sound you hear will be Skadden talent lateraling to rival firms. Also the Supreme Court's ethical follies continued with John Roberts teasing a secret plan to cure its ethical woes, while Gibson Dunn took a turn as legal industry laughing stock with a shoddily researched letter on behalf of Harlan Crow. And the Court sided with a grandmother after the county stole $25,000 from her... but dig a little deeper and her case wasn't as sympathetic as it looked.

How can one guy mess up this much? Ron DeSantis is about to announce a run for president, but meanwhile he's botching remedial civil procedure and running face first in the Fourteenth Amendment. Also, the Kamala Harris camp seems interested in reigniting her tough-on-crime persona by trashing public defenders. It's dangerous rhetoric that erodes faith in the justice system. Finally, Justice Kagan lashes out at Justice Sotomayor over intellectual property rights.

Joe and Chris talk about law school, layoffs, and basic decency. After law schools threw a public tantrum over the U.S. News and World Report ranking, with several withholding key data required to create a credible list, the rankings are now out and... they have serious credibility problems. Missing data, important factors glossed over, and shady employment accounting from the schools result in a broken list. Congratulations boycotting schools! You've managed to make it all worse. Meanwhile, in Ohio a pregnant lawyer sought a continuance after being put on emergency bed rest and got denied by the state supreme court because screw your human frailties. Finally, Dechert joins the layoff trend with a 5 percent global cut. As always, we wonder if this has broader significance or not.

When you list all of the revelations of the past month, it's impressive. Since we last chatted about Clarence Thomas facing an intractable ethics scandal... more stuff happened! We learned that he also got private school tuition off a donor, that Ginni was getting paid by FedSoc Prime (Leonard Leo) under the table, and that the courts were asked to deal with all of this over a decade ago and declined. Meanwhile, Lewis Brisbois faced a massive defection with upwards of 150 attorneys bolting for a boutique and prompting a leadership change. Still, with over a thousand attorneys how much does it really matter to shed a few hundred? Finally, Florida passed a new piece of performative racism legislation targeting permits for undocumented workers including DACA participants... and this places Dreamer attorneys in jeopardy of losing their licenses.

Also Ron DeSantis is getting beaten up by Disney again. The Supreme Court punts on a thorny felony murder case, prompting a conversation over whether the use and abuse of the rule can ever truly be reformed. There's also a super biller out there who managed to bill an average of over 10 hours a day last year. Presumably the attorney is weeping in a corner somewhere. Finally, Disney took its fight with Ron DeSantis up a notch with a new lawsuit that hasn't made everyone happy. Become a host of the ABA Law Student Podcast: Apply Here!

Yes, there's still more to say about Clarence Thomas. On this week's episode of Thinking Like A Lawyer Kathryn and Chris go back to the Clarence Thomas ethics well as Ted Cruz decides to weigh in. The New York Bar Exam was kind of a debacle, or at least the process of revealing the results was a debacle. And the Supreme Court gave reproductive freedom advocates a small victory last week, which prompted Justice Samuel Alito to tear down his female colleagues.

Who reads all of the statute anyway? The ethical hits just keep coming for Clarence Thomas as a second story about the gifts he collected from Harlan Crow expanded to include buying and maintaining a house for Thomas's mom. Rent free of course. Thomas doesn't have a particularly good excuse for not disclosing this since the text of the disclosure requirements are pretty clear. I guess holding people to the text of the laws they break only matters for poor people facing life in prison whose lawyers sleep through trial. We also discuss a new spate of layoffs and why we still feel cautiously optimistic about the second half of the year and the decision by U.S. News to delay its law school rankings.

Clarence Thomas takes some me time. An ethical quagmire surrounds Clarence Thomas. No, not that one. Not that one either. This one is about the gifts he's taken over the years without disclosures. Donald Trump took all of a couple hours after his indictment to start riling up his mob against the judge and prosecutor. And a Paul Hastings associate issues some bad advice.

Also Morgan & Morgan has had it with insurance lobbyists and the legal profession is losing talent to OnlyFans. Ron DeSantis tried to punish Disney by dissolving the local government dominated by Disney flopped when the smart lawyers pointed out that it would put the state on the hook for a deluge of liability. His latest effort to then replace all the board members flopped because while he crowed about his legal maneuvering to cable news, Disney publicly noticed some land use meetings and entered deals that functionally transferred the board's power to the company through the life of the last surviving descendent of King Charles III, making Lilibet of Sussex, the youngest of the group, arguably Disney's most important princess. Meanwhile, Morgan & Morgan has informed staff that it's no longer granting additional curtesies beyond those legally required after the insurance lobby secured massive a giant tort reform package in Florida. And a judge and young lawyer have both left the legal industry for OnlyFans... in case any of you are looking to lateral.

Latest podcast also talks about ranking the best law schools the worst way possible. With March upon us, we created our our bracket-based challenge to rerank the top law schools based on... nothing. If the law schools don't want to provide data to ranking services, we'll show them what that looks like. It's pretty bad. Speaking of bad, a litigant got a bit of a lecture from a federal judge who cautioned for more civility in filings and let's just say he did not get it. Finally, we return to the hybrid work model with a study in contrasts. One firm announces that it's going to close up the office for the month of August while another puts bonuses in jeopardy if an associate prefers to work in the office on different days. One of these firms will have a happier roster before this is all said and done.

Also, Elon Musk really needs legal counsel. Judge Stuart Kyle Duncan is the latest speaker to cry foul that an audience of law students heckled him to death. He's received an apology from Stanford Law School already, but the videos released from the event and the witness accounts appear to show the judge playing the role of wrestling heel. Taking the honest if probing questions from the audience and obstinately refusing to answer to further frustrate the students. Elon Musk fired up his Twitter machine to lurch the company into a potentially massive liability before someone -- presumably a lawyer -- told him about wrongful termination. Maybe he shouldn't be too quick to ditch the requirement that he run every Tweet by a lawyer first. Finally, Merrick Garland is taking heat for the fact that it's 2023 and Donald Trump has yet to be charged for anything stemming from the Capitol riot. But Garland's right.

And a pop quiz: do you know what 'bofadeez' is? Judge Roger Benitez of the Southern District of California decided to use his marshal to take a 13-year-old girl out of the audience and handcuff her in the jury box. Apparently, he didn't realize arbitrary acts of psychological torture upon children was frowned upon in this establishment. Now the Ninth Circuit is looking into a formal complaint. Also, those Dr. Rick commercials scold people turning into their parents for trying to leave voicemails, but it might be worth checking to see what the voicemail greeting you set 10 years ago says. Because for one aspiring lawyer it wasn't great. Finally, the Fifth Circuit's Judge Ho thinks it's wrong to prosecute political rivals on made up charges and frighteningly he's in the minority on this question.

And Sidney Powell drew the judge she needed at the right time. It may tickle the search engine algorithms, but the phrase "quiet quitting" seems out of place among lawyers. A firm sued one of its former attorneys for "quiet quitting" on them and now she's hired Wigdor to countersue, which is about as loud as lawyers can get. Meanwhile, the Texas judge hearing the state bar's complaint against Sidney Powell was a tad too quiet with a sparse summary judgment order kicking the case citing confusion about exhibit numbering. Finally, Wikipedia tried to stand up for the Constitution... the federal government told it to sit down.

On this week's podcast, we discuss a North Dakota law firm sued its associates and won, seeking to clawback paychecks for failing to meet billing requirements during the pandemic. Wasn't there a program to protect employers from cutting salaries during the downturn, you might ask? There was! And the firm took gobs of it. Also, Clarence Thomas is likely getting a statue in his honor, because as they say in Unforgiven, "deserve's got nothing to do with it." Finally, the one simple trick to $100 million in billables that the Third Circuit doesn't want Jones Day to know about.

On the latest episode of Thinking Like A Lawyer, Kathryn and Chris ponder the need for a rule against Confederate flagsin courtrooms in the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA the year of our Lord 2023. Speaking of bold stances on things that should be obvious, the American Bar Association would really like a Supreme Court ethics rule, but we know that's not happening. Plus if you want your full bonus this year at Perkins Coie, you're going to have to bill more hours. Which is a crappy move, but still better than the layoffs slow-moving through Biglaw.

Also, let's talk about Biglaw and cancel culture. How much continuing power should a judge have over the lives of defendants who plead guilty? A judge recently forced a woman to withdraw and apologize for statements diverting blame for an incident that she'd admitted to in court. A January 6th defendant is in hot water for the same thing. Prosecutors use overcharging and the ordeal of trial to leverage defendants into pleading guilty but a guilty plea has to mean something, doesn't it? Also, we discuss whether Biglaw has a cancel culture problem (it doesn't) and Judge Ho's case research (it's bad).

Also, some salty law school talk. Every high schooler has a group text chain and then a chain where they complain about the people they don't like on the group chain. Brett Kavanaugh is unaware of the second chain. Because when you have to do public tours to convince people that you have friends, you don't have friends. Meanwhile, a law professor didn't take too kindly to a student request. And while cursing at students isn't acceptable, the frustration probably was justified. Finally, there are a lot of thorny ethical challenges in this world, but some conflicts are pretty clear. Like, $62 million clear.

And what's going on with the legal market right now? The Supreme Court's inquiry into the source of the leak of its draft opinion in Dobbs failed to find the culprit among the clerks and permanent staff. Attorneys familiar with internal investigations pointed out that the report appeared carefully drafted to mislead the public without technically lying about the failure to investigate the people with the most access and motive, leaving the Court's legitimacy more compromised than when the investigation started. Meanwhile, an attorney caught billing hundreds of hours for document review he didn't do earns a suspension, and Goodwin Procter makes heads spin as its layoffs are immediately followed with a major lateral move.

Also, Joe Biden's documents elicit special counsel attention. A (now former) senior attorney at an Ohio law firm texted an associate blasting her for interviewing for another job while on maternity leave. The controversy laid bare the persistent threat of pregnancy discrimination, but also the ways these attitudes fester when management fails to take swift, decisive action. The Department of Justice appointed a special counsel to look into Joe Biden's mishandled classified documents in a case of Republicans needing to be careful what they wish for. Also Marjorie Taylor Greene found herself on the wrong end of a scathing cease and desist from Dr. Dre's legal team and Elon Musk continues to struggle with the aftermath of obliterating Twitter's legal department.

It’s only the beginning. While Goodwin Procter announced a major round of attorney layoffs, Holland & Knight announced a blockbuster expansion by adding Waller Lansden. Two different paths both driven by industry uncertainty: should firms cut or grow their way out of declining demand? Also, Ginni Thomas kept doing Ginni Thomas things.

Always waiting until the last minute. The week between Christmas and the New Year is usually pretty dead for legal news, which makes it the perfect time for a firm to try to slip some shady stuff past the goalie. Shearman started telling associates that they would not be getting bonuses for a variety of previous unannounced reasons. Foley Hoag tried to retroactively apply next year's hours requirement to this year's bonuses (they did the right thing and retreated within 48 hours). And Nelson Mullins sprung a new "collections" policy that you really have to hear about to believe.

The gang breaks down the biggest trends across the legal industry this year. From the Supreme Court's leaking to major ethical lapses, 2022 came in with a bang (raises) and leaves with a whimper (stealth layoffs). Did we learn anything? Probably not. Are we going to talk about it anyway? Of course. What else are we going to do?

It's all about optics. When an associate left Jones Day before serving a full two years, the firm billed for pro-rated bar study expenses. Once again, just because an agreement allows a firm to do something, doesn't mean it should. It's just not a good look for a firm. Speaking of optics, we also talk about Justice Brett Kavanaugh partying with Matt Gaetz and Alex Acosta -- and more importantly, parties with business before the Court this Term -- all while Supreme Court legitimacy sinks like a stone. Speaking of legitimacy, the Fifth Circuit agrees that a judge committed an ethical breach in hearing a case, but decided to just sweep it under the rug. Also, by the time this posts, Twitter will have changed its policies five more times, but we discuss the legal ramifications, if any, of Twitter's short-lived ban on mentioning "competitors."

Also the country may have dodged a constitutional bullet. If Ebeneezer Scrooge ran a law firm, he would probably bill associates for his own lack of work. It turns out, there's a law firm in North Dakota doing that right now. Also, the Supreme Court heard argument on the independent state legislature theory, a tortured reading of the Constitution designed to give Republicans a permanent federal electoral advantage, and it seemed to be a bridge too far for three conservative justices. All that and a chat about Congress making it a national secret how much money Ginni Thomas makes from outside interests.

But they caught me with some contemporaneous third-party emails? We discuss the crackerjack investigation the Supreme Court performed into allegations that Justice Sam Alito has a history of leaking decisions. After a religious leader confessed to lobbying efforts that included leaks from Alito concerning key decisions, Alito told the Court "it wasn't me" and, remarkably, they just accepted that and called it a day. Speaking of decisions, the Eleventh Circuit finally put a stop to Judge Aileen Cannon's string of zany decisions in the Trump seized documents case. Also, a former Biglaw partner thrust herself in the spotlight to bemoan her firm for enforcing the bare minimum of anti-harassment policies and a pair of law schools controversially announces a merger.

ABA poised to eliminate standardized testing requirement... but should it? Taking the LSAT is the first step in the law school journey. But it doesn't have to be. The ABA is considering dropping its requirement that accredited schools employ standardized testing as part of admissions. Some argue that the LSAT is a critical tool in promoting diversity in both law school and the profession. Others claim that the test's value as part of the process is overemphasized and that affording admissions more flexibility is a better tool. We also discuss the tale of a judge who questioned if a lawyer was faking a stroke. Spoiler alert: he was not. And we talk about rising Biglaw rates in an era of economic uncertainty.