In today’s episode, you will learn the 5 things that men secretly struggle with and how you can open up the conversation to better support them. I’m proud to introduce you to my husband, Chris, who is the founder of a men's retreat, Soul Degree. He has been leading these retreats for the past 6 years and has worked with everyone from veterans, executives, and first responders to college students. Chris has incredible insight into the secrets that men keep and the struggles they’re facing alone.  Hearing Chris unpack these challenges is very compelling. He not only shares insights from leading retreats for 6 years but also from his coaching practice and his work as a death doula.  Many of the struggles that he witnesses in other men are the exact same struggles that he has worked through as well. This is an episode every man, boy, or anyone who identifies as male needs to hear, and so do the people that love them. It’s not just we women who struggle with self-love; everyone struggles with loving themselves.  If you don’t know what’s going on with the men in your life, let me talk to them and let them know it’s okay. That’s why I am teaching you how to start loving yourself with a simple habit that you can add to your routine. Today you’ll learn: The 5 shocking things that most men in your life are struggling withOne habit that has helped hundreds of thousands of people to start showing self-loveWhy it’s so hard to love yourself and the secret to self-loveThe science behind why this habit is transformativeThe profound insight my husband Chris had when he took the 5-day challenge  Love is not something you feel; it’s something you must demonstrate. Xo, Mel  In this episode, you’ll learn:2:25: The 5 shocking things that most men are struggling with4:57: Do you put others' needs above your own? Do this exercise.14:24: Why my husband, Chris, thought this habit was ridiculous at first18:11: When in his life Chris started to feel like a failure25:24: What all men struggle with27:48: 50% of people find it impossible to do this.29:35: What Chris has to say to all the men out there32:34: The profound insight Chris had when he took the 5-day challenge37:40: Why I sign off every letter and every episode the way I do39:06: What you tell yourself every time you do this one habit41:56: The message from a listener that every skeptic needs to hear41:44: Why it’s so hard to love yourself51:50: Why you’re going to want to share this with the men in your life Disclaimer

In this episode, you’re going to learn the 4 happiness habits that, based on research, are scientifically proven to make you happier in 21 days.Happiness is not only possible; it is an option for you.Our guest today is one of the most respected happiness researchers in the world. Shawn Achor is the author of 4 New York Times bestsellers and has created the largest happiness training program in the world. He is here to prove to you that happiness is not only possible but also an option for you.This conversation is packed with practical and proven tools that you can put to work in your life immediately. We will also dig deep into the research that supports everything that you are about to learn.Shawn goes deeper than he has ever gone in an interview, discussing his struggle with depression and how these 4 habits have helped him climb out of it.Get out your notebook because we are drilling into decades of psychological research that will ladder up to more meaning in your life.Today you’ll learn:How to find happiness amidst pain and fearThe 4 simple habits that create more happinessWhat Shawn calls the ‘turning point’ for his struggle with depressionHow to be happy even when you’re lonely and the importance of connection and communityThe first step YOU need to take to living a happier, more meaningful lifeHappiness is not an emotion; it is a framework, and that framework is getting built today!Xo Mel In this episode you’ll learn: 2:04: What is the definition of happiness?3:12: Where can you find happiness amidst pain and fear?10:41: What happens when you become fearful that you will never be happy again?12:53: Step #1 to claiming happiness is recognition. This is why.14:05: This is YOUR starting point for living a happier life.15:49: These 4 simple habits for 21 days will change your life.17:53: What kept Shawn going: the habits that pulled him out of a depression.21:22: Reminder: Happiness is a team sport.29:24: What loneliness actually is32:37: The importance of social connection and community35:14 The story we tell ourselves is how we navigate our lives.40:35: It’s not the end of your story; the reminder I even needed45:47: Happiness is an option, not a choice.48:58: What Shawn learned in Flint, Michigan, about mindset and behavior51:52: The tools and takeaways you need to remember after this conversation Disclaimer

In this episode, you are going to learn the art of having more fun. I share a hilarious story about a major wardrobe malfunction with you and two podcast crew members. You’ll laugh along at all the ridiculous details, but the takeaway is serious: Learning how to laugh at yourself is a superpower, and research says people who have a sense of humor are more respected and are viewed as more confident and intelligent by their peers. Today you’ll learn: How having fun in life is an art formHow to turn something embarrassing into something hilarious and relatableHow humor increases power and statusWhy it’s important to not take yourself too seriouslyHow to create a bond and change the tone in any social situationWhy it’s imperative to never buy a bodysuit that is too small Seriously? You need to laugh more. Let’s start today. Xo Mel  In this episode, you’ll learn: 01:26: The best feeling in the world: taking your bra off at the end of the day3:52: Chris tells us what the equivalent feeling is for men.5:33: The major wardrobe failure I had yesterday.9:23: Pro tip: always test drive a cool outfit before an event (especially if it includes shapewear).12:09: The worst wedgie that I have ever had.14:41: I can’t believe I just admitted this, but don’t we all do this?19:20: How turning something embarrassing into something hilarious and relatable tightens bonds.21:18: Let everyone in on the joke, it will change the dynamic.22:24: My ultimate moment of relief.26:22: How turning something embarrassing into something hilarious and relatable tightens bonds.31:09: Why does Amy do stand-up comedy, and can you develop a sense of humor at any point?33:52: According to research, the funnier the person, the more respect and power you hold.38:08: I invite you to do this one thing: laugh at yourself.  Disclaimer

Why do you always crave dessert after dinner? Or a snack mid-afternoon?Today we’re digging into the science of cravings: -Why you have them-How to tell the difference between a craving and actual hunger-How to eat your way to better health and a happier life.Dr. Amy Shah is a double-board certified medical doctor with training from Cornell, Harvard, and Columbia Universities and an expert on intermittent fasting, hormones, and food cravings.  And today, I got you and me an appointment with her for free! Let’s friggin’ goooo!If you want to understand your body and how to make your metabolism work for you, Dr. Amy has the research and the tools to help you kick your cravings to the curb once and for all.In today’s episode, you will learn:*when to drink coffee in the morning so you stay energized all day*how cravings relate to dopamine and how to curb them so they never come back*why your sugar cravings are so strong and how to stop them*the truth about probiotics and which ones your body needs right now*what ghrelin and leptin are and why they are the secrets to a healthy metabolism*the shocking research that compares antidepressants to food and exercise*how to stop overeating Our bodies are complicated, but your health doesn’t have to be. Let Dr. Amy empower you to live a more vibrant, fulfilled, and energized life. In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:45: So what’s the difference between hunger and cravings?6:00: Many of our poor food choices are not our fault.19:30: So how do we fix our eating habits if we’re not always in control?20:30: Food and exercise are more effective than drugs for anxiety and depression?!23:20: So what are some of the foods that will boost natural hormones?28:30: Drinking enough water during the day makes you eat less.37:30: Here’s what food companies know about dopamine.41:40: Do this when you want to stop overeating.44:45: Why does dopamine work better when you reward yourself at random times?46:30: What are psychobiotics and how do they stop cravings?50:20: Here’s how your gut and your brain talk to each other and what that means.51:30: What exactly is the relationship between food and bacteria?55:15: So where do we start with supplements?57:30: The #1 probiotic that you should be adding to your days.59:30: How the hell do you get rid of your sugar cravings?1:03:30: Do you get enough sleep? Here’s why that matters.1:06:00 Why you should wait 45 minutes before you drink your coffee.1:08:10: This is what Dr. Amy thinks about intermittent fasting and how she does it.1:10:00: Eat a high-dopamine breakfast to start your day on the right track.  Disclaimer

More and more adults are being diagnosed with ADHD, so today, we are unpacking the 6 surprising signs of ADHD. I also tell you why so many women, in particular, go undiagnosed. This episode is deeply personal, but my story is shared by so many women.I lived my entire life with symptoms of ADHD and crushing anxiety because of it. But I was never diagnosed until the age of 47—and I found out by fluke!So in this episode, I go deep into what ADHD is: a neurological disorder that affects the brain structurally and chemically. I explain the signs and the science behind what is going on in your brain to help you live a better life.If you ever wondered if you have ADHD, if you feel like menopause is making it worse, or if you struggle with anxiety, an eating disorder, or low self-esteem, you have to listen. All these might be symptoms of ADHD.This episode goes way beyond an inability to focus, because ADHD is so much more. This is an education in how your brain works, how focus works, and how to help yourself or someone in your life who may have ADHD.I’ve been wanting to record this episode for MONTHS, but I didn’t want to do it until I had first-class resources for you. Because every time I talk about my ADHD story, we get an avalanche of questions from listeners.I have regrets about that lost time when I did not know I had ADHD, and I don’t want you to have them, too. Today you’ll learn: *why women have been profoundly underdiagnosed*four key differences between genders with ADHD*why my diagnosis was both a blessing and a curse*the surprising way most women find out*six symptoms of ADHD that most people don’t catch*the connection between anxiety and depression and ADHD*resources and hacks to help you take charge over your symptoms Xo Mel  In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:44: The surprising backdoor way I was diagnosed with ADHD.6:30: What I learned about the “lost generation” that has blown me away.7:45: A terrifyingly important statistic that led to this podcast episode.9:00: The definition of ADHD that may make you feel better about yours.10:15: Why are women underdiagnosed? The differences in symptoms.19:30: This is how ADHD impacts your brain.22:30: Breaking this myth about this symptom of ADHD.24:45: A really clear metaphor to explain how your brain silences noise, or doesn’t.32:00: How is it I have ADHD, yet I can hyper-focus?34:00: More surprising symptoms of ADHD that might make your relationships hard.38:00: This one hack helps me get birthday gifts for others on time.40:00: The jobs I loved because they worked well with ADHD.43:45: Now here’s the good news!45:30: A predictive statistic about children that you’re going to want to hear. Disclaimer

According to Harvard professor Dr. Luana Marques, there is one sneaky habit that holds every single person back – and no one knows what it is. When she reveals the habit that holds you back, your first reaction will be to stop and think. And as you listen to her explain it and give you examples, you’ll be shocked that you’ve never before seen it in yourself or heard anyone else point it out to you… until now. You’re not the only one. I didn’t know about this habit until I was introduced to Dr. Marques’ work. What you learn today will change how you think about success, influence, mindset, and even anxiety and procrastination. This sneaky habit has been holding you back and you didn’t even realize how pervasive it is in your life. It’s not self-doubt. It’s not fear. It’s something even deeper. I want you to listen, because she’s the world’s leading expert on the topic, and this is one of those episodes that will make you never look at life the same again. Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn:1:00: The sneaky habit that’s holding you back, according to Dr. Luana Marques3:00: Dr. Marques’ story will inspire you and explain how she discovered these tools.7:30: Why this specific habit is keeping you from your best life.9:00: How this habit leads to anxiety and panic at work.13:00: Dr. Marques’ turning point in finding the success she has, against all odds.22:00: Unpacking exactly what this habit is and how it holds you back, including your body’s response.27:30: The lie you keep telling yourself.30:00: This is how your brain is working against you.33:00: Simple tools from CBT Therapy research that make a difference.36:00: Exactly what to do when your thoughts spin and how to change your mindset immediately.42:00: This approach works even if you don’t believe it.43:30: How do you stress less and find more peace?47:00: The first thing Dr. Marques does when helping her clients change.50:00: How these strategies apply to parenting and family. Disclaimer

Today we are digging into the research on gratitude. Gratitude is a critical life skill, yet most of us are practicing it wrong. That’s right. According to the research, there are 4 essential elements of genuine gratitude. Without all 4, you can’t unlock the powerful physiological, neurological, and psychological benefits of genuine gratitude. For example, if you’re just thinking about what you’re grateful for or writing a list before you go to bed, you’re probably not getting the full impact of its power. Once you know the 4 steps, you can use genuine gratitude to actively rewire your brain! Next, we’ll discuss the “Toxic Gratitude Theory” and the 6 ways you probably use gratitude in a backhanded or manipulative way – and don’t even know it! I’m guilty of all 6 types of toxic gratitude (ouch) and now that I see it, I can stop doing it. So today, let’s learn how to unlock gratitude and all its profound power. You’ll also learn… The 4 neurotransmitters involved in a science-backed gratitude practiceThe important difference between being just “thankful” versus genuinely “grateful” and why it mattersHow using one specific word is critical to building up your resilienceWhat to say to someone who’s going through a really tough time And because I’m so genuinely grateful for you, I have started rolling out a fun bonus with each episode, Mel Robbins Podcast Bloopers, so listen all the way through for a good laugh! Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 6:00: Ever met someone who just makes you feel so loved and grounded?12:20: What happens in your body when you feel more gratitude?16:00: What’s the difference between being thankful vs. gratitude?21:40: Here are the four important elements of genuine gratitude.25:00: Are you using gratitude in a toxic way? Hear these six types of toxic gratitude.26:00: Let’s unpack the #1 way we engage in toxic gratitude.28:10: The #2 type of toxic gratitude is actually resentment in disguise.29:45: This #3 type will keep you stuck in what’s not working for you.33:00: We use the 4th type of toxic gratitude to escape uncomfortable emotions.36:00: Being mentally well means giving yourself the space to feel all emotions.37:30: Let’s unpack how you use the 5th type when you don’t know what to say.39:00: And please don’t use this type to downplay your accomplishments.41:00: This is one of my favorite acceptance speeches ever.43:00: I looked up the meaning of Judah’s name and couldn’t believe what I found.46:00: So how do you stay grounded in a chaotic environment? Listen to these tips.  Disclaimer

If you’ve ever dreamt of doing something big, today's episode will get your head spinning, open your heart, and inspire you to take the leap. It doesn’t matter how young or how old you are. You are meant to go big, to swing for the fence, and to do something no one has ever done before.  No more small plans. You have something big to do. And there’s no better person to inspire you to make big plans than my friend and IT Cosmetics Founder, Jamie Kern Lima.  Jamie went from serving up stacks of pancakes at Denny’s to creating a product that would help millions of women around the world feel confident in their own skin.  Today you’ll hear the story of how she transformed the beauty industry, created the most successful product launch in QVC history, and ultimately sold IT Cosmetics to L’Oreal for 1.2 billion dollars (becoming the first female CEO at L’Oreal in their history).  If you think Jamie had it easy on the way there, you’d be wrong. And you won’t have an easy time either, but so what?Her story is a rollercoaster of rejection and disappointment, fear, self-doubt, and near bankruptcy. But when you’ve got big plans, you just keep going. Jamie never lost faith, and today she is teaching you how to never give up on your big plans either.  In today’s episode, you will learn What to do when you have no idea what you’re doing.Why it’s okay to do something that’s been done plenty of times.What it’s like to pitch live on QVC.How to handle someone saying “Women won’t buy from someone who looks like you.”How to believe in yourself when nobody else does.A truth about success we rarely ever hear about.What to do when QVC says “NO you can’t sell that way.”How to react when some idiot tells you they won’t invest in you.How to break into an industry event and pitch your idea.How to harness belief in yourself when you want to give up.Wow. Just wow. If you don’t know what to get the graduates in your life, send this episode because it’s a real gift.  Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 4:50: Introducing today’s guest- my good friend, Jamie Kern Lima.7:30: Jamie learned this important skill while working as a server at Denny’s.9:00: Never disregard the seasons of your life that feel setbacks.10:00: What the hell does it mean that our lives are happening “for” us?10:45: Here’s how Jamie defines life’s purpose. 13:15: If you hate your job, listen to this.16:50: The moment where Jamie knew she was meant to do something meaningful.20:15: Not sure what your purpose is? Think about what you struggle with.24:00: This is the biggest reason we talk ourselves out of following our dreams.27:30: But how do you get started when you don’t even know what to do?32:00: Ever had a gut feeling? Hear Jamie define intuition and how to tune in.35:30: Try going through your day this way and build your intuition muscle.37:20: Two reasons why we go through horrible, unspeakable times.38:30: This was the biggest rejection moment that inspired Jamie to keep going.41:15: Listen to the “no” or listen to the “knowing.” You get to choose.44:30: How do you determine the NEXT right step?46:45: Jamie lands a ten-minute do-or-die spot on QVC after multiple rejections.57:00: Here’s how all that rejection became Jamie’s strength.1:02:00: Does your purpose have to be part of your job? Disclaimer

This is a message for every new graduate.Whether you’re graduating from college or graduating from a chapter in your life, you need this message today. Your dreams matter, and what happens next is in your hands.You have a flame inside you that represents the way you were meant to show up in this world.Today I’m teaching you how to throw gasoline on that flame.No matter what you're going through in life, your dreams are alive and well, and they are waiting for you to wake up and turn toward them.If you’re not ready for some Mel Robbins inspirational firepower, bookmark this for another day. Because I’m not f’ing around today.Whether you’re ready to make your mark on the world...Or you’re tired of your excuses...Or if you're like Barbara, who you'll meet in this episode, and you've given up on your dreams because they haven’t materialized yet…This may be the most important 50 minutes of your life.I’m going to show you -the three ways you shut down your dreams-why jealousy is actually a good thing-the one question to ask in the morning that will impact the entire rest of your dayAnd if you don’t even remember what it’s like to dream, I’ve got you.This episode includes a free download of an incredibly powerful, science-backed tool that will help you start dreaming again.Xo Mel  In this episode, you’ll learn:  3:30: These are the moments that define your life.9:15: Here’s what happens before every time I reinvent myself and my life.10:50: My first dream job never left me and eventually led to this podcast.14:30: Watch for this evidence of your dreams still being alive in your heart.18:15: The first way you extinguish your dreams.18:30: The second way you pour a cold bucket of water on your dreams.18:50: The third way you shut down your dreams.21:45: The science-backed habit that’s going to help you start dreaming again.22:40: Here’s a whole bunch of dream examples, if you need ideas!24:45: What is the Zeigarnik Effect and what does it have to do with your dreams?26:15: I have a free download for you!29:30: Here’s where I gave Barbie some serious tough love because I believe in her.34:30: The one powerful question you’re going to ask yourself every morning. 35:40 On this date, I finally gave myself permission to make my dream happen.37:50: When times get challenging, you should be doing this.40:15: Try this exercise to shine a light on the way you limit what’s possible for you.47:00: All that hard stuff in your life is for a reason.49:15: Think you’re too old for your dreams? Then you need to hear this.51:45: Curious about what happened to Barbara? Listen in.  Disclaimer

Welcome to an exciting new masterclass on designing the life of your dreams.First, you’ll learn the process for identifying your own North Star, why this is important at the beginning of creating your new life, and how to use your North Star to guide you in the process of designing your life.Next, you’ll dive deep into the 3-part framework: Emulate, Assimilate, and Innovate.This framework is the backbone of the University of Southern California’s world-renowned Popular Music major taught at their Thornton School of Music.It’s the creative process artists use to create songs, movies, and video games. The framework has helped launch Grammy-winning artists and touring musicians for the past decade.I just learned about it a week ago and was so blown away that I had to share it with you.When an artist creates a song, they begin with a blank piece of paper.When you design your life, you are an artist with a blank canvas.Today, you’re invited to tap into the artist within and learn how to find your North Star and use the creative process to bring your vision for your future to life.Xo Mel  In this episode, you’ll learn: 3:00: Hear me describe the woman who recently became MY North Star.6:40: Choosing this kind of person you want to choose as your North Star is best.8:00: Shout out to Chris Sampson from the Thornton School of Music for these pillars.10:15: If you skip Step One in this process, you’re making your life much harder.14:15: Here’s how Jennifer Aniston made her way into our conversation. 18:10: We start unpacking what Step One of the process looks like, first with music.21:00: Think of the space in between where you are and want to be as special. 22:15: Try using “want” instead of “need” when it comes to goals and see what happens.25:20: This is what I did when I first started to dig myself out, but it took me much longer.28:00: Here’s why this person is my North Star and why he puts a fire in my belly.31:15: Let’s define the first two steps in this important process and how they’re different.34:00: How do you know when you’re done and you’ve become your own North Star?41:45: Kendall’s biggest takeaway from working through this process. 42:45: The way I sign out on all my podcasts was inspired by this woman.  Disclaimer

I shared the "Let Them Theory" on social media, and it went CRAZY VIRAL. 15 million views, 11,000 comments. Today, it’s your turn to learn this mindset trick.I’ve been using this technique for a while, so I know firsthand how powerful it is.The "Let Them Theory" is so simple, you’re going to get it immediately.And I have some great stories and examples to share with you, because there are three very different ways you can use it.I can bottom line this in one sentence: When you "Let Them" do whatever it is that they want to do, it creates more control and emotional peace for you and a better relationship with the people in your life.Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn:2:30: My overfunctioning anxiety kicked in, until this happened.6:30: Dr. Amy Johnson gives the best metaphor that explains our need to control.9:20: Why do we get so upset about what we can’t do a damn thing about?10:30: These three reasons explain why we try to control.11:20: Two reasons why your parents and partners are so controlling.17:00: There are times like these when the “Let Them” rule does NOT apply.19:00: How are you supposed to let go when you’re a parent?24:30: Can you relate to this listener who’s worn down from her expectations?28:00: Stop making up stories about why people do what they do, and just ask.32:10: When you’re constantly rescuing people, here’s what you teach them.35:00: Are you actually in a relationship with a real person, or a vision?37:15: One way we try to control someone is through jealousy.40:00: Growing apart from a good friend? Here’s how to handle it.43:30: It’s not your responsibility to make sure everyone else is never hurt. Disclaimer

If you feel that something’s missing from your life but have no idea exactly what’s missing or where to begin looking for it, today’s episode will help you reconnect with your power and find greater meaning in your life.Dr. Thema Bryant is the current president of the American Psychological Association. She trained at both Duke and Harvard, published multiple best-selling books, and has dedicated decades of her life to researching how we connect with each other by first connecting back to ourselves.Her work has been so profound for me personally that, right off the bat in this conversation, I get emotional.Dr. Thema is a national treasure. Her presence and her voice will put you at ease. And she has the unique gift of weaving together psychological strategies for healing with the deeper spiritual cornerstones of faith and trusting in "that which cannot be explained."In this episode, you’ll learn:-6 signs that you are disconnected from yourself-what it means to be "psychologically wandering"-how to handle people in your life who are chronically irritable and angry-the surprising signs of "irritable depression"-the three words to say to yourself before you can begin healing-why self-care is critical if you are in a toxic workplace (you are more than your labor)-why you need to stop talking about your significant other and your boss in therapy.-where to find therapy when you can’t afford it.You are so much more than a highway for other people to get where they’re going. With Dr. Thema’s wisdom and tactics, you’ll reconnect with yourself and take the wheel on your own incredible journey in life.Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:45: I got really emotional when I acknowledged how my life used to be.6:30: 6 powerful signs that you are disconnected from yourself and what that means.9:00: Even if you’ve never felt home with yourself, you can learn to be home with yourself.11:00: The West African fable that gave me chills and should be required reading for everyone.16:00: This is the first and most powerful step to your “homecoming.”22:00: Do people with an attitude actually have depression?25:20: What is healing, anyway?27:00: How do we handle people in our lives who are irritable, frustrated, and angry?30:00: It’s a big mistake if you wait for this before you start your own healing.36:30: How to know if you need therapy or you need spirituality.41:00: How do you heal from a lifetime of messaging that you’re not worthy?44:00: This is how you handle working in a toxic work environment.48:50: Look to these resources if you can’t afford therapy. Disclaimer

Imagine how liberating it would be to not care about what other people think of you. You’d take more risks. You’d stop holding yourself back. You’d make more money and have more fun. That’s what happened to me when I learned the (not-so-subtle) art of not giving a sh*t.This is the best episode I've done so far.I mean it. The best.It’s hilarious. It’s relatable. It’s packed with takeaways and research. It’s entertaining and personal, and yet I still manage to empower you with 4 simple ways to stop caring about what other people think.Want to know what life looks like when you don’t care? I’ll go first.You’ll hear some outrageous, not-safe-for-work stories about your friend, Mel.And as you’re laughing at me, I’ll be laughing at me, too. One of the benefits of not caring about what other people think is that you don’t take yourself too seriously.Why? Because you have much more important things to care about.Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn:4:00: Hilarious story of me taking my shirt off at an LA restaurant.8:30: Christine says you’re not supposed to show up to meetings this way.14:30: Here’s why wearing ballet flats would have been a failure for me.16:00: Christine’s profound point about judgment really opened my eyes.19:00: When you stop worrying about how you look, others around you will too.23:00: What I think about ugly troll comments so that I can rise above it.27:00: If you’re part of a gossip loop, here’s what you need to do.28:00: It’s not normal to wear a child-size space suit in front of your students?34:00: Jessie could not stop laughing after I did this.36:00: How can you give honest feedback and not sound like a jerk?38:00: The wake-up moment for me around relationships.38:30: My four rules about how not to give a sh*t about stupid stuff.48:30: Kendall revealed something to me that I still can’t believe. Disclaimer

I am thrilled to share this conversation with you. It is packed with practical strategies that will help the people in your life who may be struggling.  Dr. Lisa Damour is a clinical psychologist and author of three New York Times bestsellers.  She earned degrees from both Yale and the University of Michigan and has more than 30 years of experience working with teens and families. Her latest book, The Emotional Lives of Teenagers, has been nothing short of life changing. Today you will learn… -five words you need to know when someone you love is struggling-the signs that tell you when someone is “costly coping”-what to say that will prevent a conversation from turning into a battle-why your kids dump all their emotional garbage on you-when it’s time for a therapist-why struggles are signs of being “mentally WELL”! I started using Dr. Lisa’s strategies with my family the moment we finished recording this episode. They work!  You will leave this episode full of the resources you deserve. Plus, you’re going to love Dr. Damour (and how hopeful she makes you feel) as much as I do.  Xo Mel  And if you need to take the reins in your own life, sign up for my free Take Control mini-course to get inspiring support, guidance, and motivation. In this episode, you’ll learn: 4:00: Two things psychologists look for when assessing mental health.5:15: Too many people are not distinguishing between these qualities.6:15: When exactly IS adolescence?8:30: We’ve had the wrong idea about what it means to be mentally healthy.12:45: What’s the difference between a “normal” reaction vs one to be concerned about?15:10: Do you know someone who is managing by “costly coping.”16:45: So how do you help your kid?20:00: This is how you don’t turn a conversation with your child into a fight.24:00: Take these steps when it’s time to confront your teen.27:30: Here’s how I wish I’d handled Chris’s depression differently.30:20: Let’s look at the difference in emotions between genders.34:15: How do you help people in your life who just can’t let it go?39:00: Do your kids do this, too? It’s called the “defense of externalization.”41:40: This is how my own mother set me straight.44:00: How do you know when it’s time to get a therapist involved?46:30: Can’t find a therapist for your child? Use this resource.48:00: Here’s how the lockdown impacted our kids. 54:30: When are suicide thoughts normal and when are they concerning?58:00: What happened to our nervous system during this time?1:00:00: These are the concerns of Dr. Damour that we should watch for.1:01:30: When do healthy habits become an obsession?1:08:15: How do you let kids have emotions without letting them run the home?1:14:00: Here is the most important thing you can offer your teen. Disclaimer

You know what you want and how to start. But you never make progress. Here’s my wake up call for you today: What’s holding you back is never what you think. Today I am coaching a woman who says: I can’t make myself do what I need to do. I feel like I’m in quicksand. Every time I try to move…I sink. She has:-put on an extra 30 pounds-left her relationship with herself in the gutter-no longer does the things that make her happy-broken promises to herself time and again I bet you can relate.  This is a must-listen if you want to:  be healthier…go back to school..find your dream home…make new friends…go for that promotion…write a book…land your dream job… But you just can’t make yourself take the actions you need to take. Stop frustrating yourself by trying to solve the wrong problem.  Your dreams matter.  Today you’re learning where to find the right solution. Pull up a seat for a conversation with a listener like you as we uncover what’s really holding her back.  Xo Mel  In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:15: This metaphor will help you understand why you’re stuck.6:00: I bet you can relate to Ricki’s story. 8:15: The bad news that made Ricki’s face drop.11:30: Here’s why you don’t believe your life will get better.13:30: What happened to you earlier in your life that broke you?18:15: Maybe you resist a part of your life because it links to something painful.21:30: When acute grief turns into chronic, underlying grief.31:00: You can’t invite love, joy, and connection, if you’re closed to it.33:15: I get where Ricki is, because I used to close myself off in the same way.39:30: Here’s my assignment for Ricki that I know she needs to do.41:00: Give yourself permission to be happy again by connecting to this.45:00: Here’s why I truly believe the best years of your life are ahead.46:30: Ricki recorded an incredible update for you and me. Disclaimer

In this episode, you’re going to learn how to decode body language from one of the world’s leading experts on the topic. Janine Driver has been trained by the FBI, CIA, and one of the world’s top hostage negotiators. When a criminal case grabs our attention, every news network calls Janine to analyze body language and critical verbal cues that suspects, politicians, and celebrities are sending so we can tell when somebody is lying. If you love True Crime, you’re going to love this episode, because it’s a masterclass from an expert who’s spent over three decades decoding body language for law enforcement agencies around the country. She will teach you which hand gestures indicate that somebody may be lying, why you should grab your chin during a high-level meeting, why you should never shrug your shoulders if you want to be convincing, and the million-dollar question that you should ask at the end of every single interview. If you’re dating, you’ll learn all kinds of incredible tactics, like why you should never sit directly across from someone on a first date.  This is an incredibly interesting, entertaining, and surprising take on how to build confidence and be smarter about the subconscious signals that other people are sending you all day long.  Xo Mel  In this episode, you’ll learn:3:15: Janine’s early childhood trauma saved her life as a teen.6:00: So how do you go from being a profiler with the FBI to a body language expert?9:30: Which three groups of people can read body language really well?10:00: The hand gesture that says “maybe” even when you’re hearing “yes.”12:30: Listen for the word “left” when you hear it from someone else.13:40: How Janine knew Casey Anthony was lying about her daughter’s death.19:30: What’s your behavioral fingerprint? Here’s how to figure it out.20:00: What is the best question to ask at the end of an interview?21:15: How men state what they need versus how women do.27:00: This is why a shoulder shrug might be a huge clue.31:40: The power of eye contact, unpacked.34:15: What the heck is lip locking and what does it mean when someone’s doing it?36:15: When you’re trying to get the truth out of somebody, use the pause after “don’t”.37:45: Do this to get your kids to tell you the truth.42:30: Ever been interrupted by someone in a meeting? Here’s what you do!47:15: Use this hack to look more confident. 48:00: Janine tells me what my pointy chin means.48:45: Know the difference between Clark Kent and Superman, and you’re all set.52:00: This is the BEST dating advice I’ve heard in a long time.54:15: Here’s how detail-oriented people drink their water.56:30: Next time you’re on a date or an email, tilt the coaster. 58:00: What if you don’t FEEL confident when you use these “non-verbals?”1:02:00: Why belly buttons matter more than the eyes when reading someone.1:04:00: Nervous on a date or an interview? This hack releases nervous energy. Disclaimer

Last week, I learned a really cool trick to help you go with your gut.I guarantee you’ve never heard gut decisions explained this way before. Because I stumbled upon it in a very random way—while touring colleges with our son Oakley!We hit 5 schools in 4 days, and over the course of that time, it hit me. Holy smokes, that's the perfect hack for making big decisions.You can use it anytime you feel torn, uncertain, or scared about how people might feel.What you’re about to learn is so helpful and memorable, you’ll turn to it over and over again.This is one of my favorite kinds of episodes, because I’m going to put you right at the scene—the moment I had the epiphany. I’ll give you all the hilarious details, and there’s even a part of the story where, I am embarrassed to say, I acted pretty cringe-worthy.And that’s not all; as I was taping this episode, two friends chimed in with stories of their own.So I asked them to jump on the mic and share them with you. Two stories about a moment in their lives that’s so relatable—when they ALMOST didn’t go with their gut and looking back, they’re thankful they did.Because going with your gut always changes the trajectory of your life. It just does.That’s why I don’t like the term "trust" your gut.It’s not about trust. You KNOW your gut is right. You’re just scared to go with it.So join me, Oakley, and two of my friends. I’m taking you on an entertaining and profound tour today.Xo Mel  In this episode, you’ll learn: 3:30: The moment of my junior year in high school that changed my future.7:00: I am not proud of this mother moment when I lost it.11:00: The question Oakley asked is what we all do when we give up our power.14:15: Here’s what a hard no “feels” like for Oakley.15:45: Do you feel a “yes” in your body like this too?17:00: What our brilliant tour guide did when he separated parents from students.20:30: When it comes to big decisions, step away and go on your own tour. 22:00: Here’s what a “no” and a “yes” usually feels like in your body. 24:00: You’re going to love Amy’s “next big thing” story and how she just knew.31:00: We all have an opportunity in our lives to use this powerful tool.33:00: And if it doesn’t work out the way you thought it would? Listen to this.33:45: Do you have the courage to do this?36:30: So what do you do when you hear the NO louder than the YES?40:30: Jessie literally followed her heart and became her own “tour guide.”42:30: Stop staying you don't “trust your gut” and start saying this instead.43:00: Take time to do this EVERY day, but especially when you have a big decision. Disclaimer

Oh…sometimes life is a real doozy.You make all these plans, and boom. You step right into a pile of you-know-what. And then you realize that pile was there all along—you just missed it.Which brings us to the topic of today’s episode: making hard decisions and moving on from hard relationships.How do you move forward when… You feel so torn about what to do.You don’t trust yourself.You’re scared to make the wrong decision.What’s best for you will impact the people you love.How do you decide your next big move when everything you worked for evaporates before your eyes? How do you stop thinking about your ex, especially when you might bump into them at any moment?I’ll tell you how.Pull up a seat and join me because you are going to love the listener, Katrina, who I’m coaching today. Her question was, "Should I stay or should I go?"By the end of this episode, you’ll not only have the answer to whatever question YOU are grappling with, but you'll also have so many decision-making tools in your back pocket that you’re going to need more pockets.Today, you’re getting strategies to help youLive your life with no regrets.Keep your cool when you see your ex.Bounce back after rejection.Stop feeling guilty about following your dreams.Make courageous decisions.The biggest takeaway? Knowing the difference between what’s right for you and the fear that’s keeping you from itWhen something is right, even if it’s scary as hell to go for it, you’ll only ever regret not having tried.Xo MelPS - If you’re looking to ditch your insecurities for a powerful way to launch forward on your dreams, I’ve got just the thing for you. Sign up for my FREE Take Control mini course here. In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:20: Ever been dumped? Then you’ll relate to what Katrina is going through.4:00: The kind of decisions that change your life don’t happen in your brain.6:30: When you have a big decision to make, ask yourself this question.8:15: Holding yourself back because you feel guilty? Listen to this.11:00: The single biggest quality you want in any partner? It’s always this.14:00: There are always red flags before a breakup, whether you saw them or not.16:15: You deserve nothing less than these qualities from your partner.19:00: Try role playing with a friend to help you get the closure you crave.23:45: Use this strategy to help you make a weighty decision.27:40: Takeaway #1: Stop running away. Think of it this way instead.30:15: Takeaway #2: If you want closure, you have to do these two things.30:30: Takeaway #3: If you’re going to hold yourself back, own it. Don’t blame others.31:00: Takeaway #4: You’re making it much harder in your head.32:00: Takeaway #5: As soon as somebody doesn’t want you, they’re not your person.33:30: Takeaway #6: Please stop doing this after a breakup.35:00: Takeaway #7: If it’s not love, it’s a lesson.35:30: Takeaway #8: Don’t be caught off guard by preparing ahead of time.37:00: Takeaway #9: You don’t need someone else to feel complete.38:00: Takeaway #10: Don’t let your fears hold you back. Disclaimer

At some point, the you-know-what is going to hit the fan.And it happened to me the other morning when I was driving my husband to his colonoscopy.This is the first episode without a video version because I recorded it from my iPhone after dropping my husband off at the hospital.I promised to take you into my life; I just didn't expect it to be as a stressful situation was unfolding in real time.When it comes to dealing with stress, best-selling psychotherapist and researcher Harriet Lerner says that being an underfunctioner or an overfunctioner is your patterned response to dealing with the alarm in your body.It probably doesn’t surprise you that I am what researchers call an "Overfunctioner." My husband, Chris, is an "Underfunctioner," especially on those days when he’s on the way to a medical procedure.And learning the way YOU react to stress is a game-changer for your relationships.An overfunctioner like me allows the alarm in my body to take over in stressful situations, becoming triggered and anxious.And the only way to calm the alarm is to bark orders, manage the phone calls, organize the activities, make the appointments, plan the meals, and take on all the responsibilities because it gives me a sense of control.It may be my superpower, but it also makes me a royal pain in the a$$ and takes away the chance for Chris to feel empowered.The way Chris deals with stress is more chill and very methodical, which frustrates the hell out of me.Listen today as we work through these two different ways of dealing with a stressful family situation so that you can understand your own approach better and, more importantly, how to ask for what you need from others before you drive them nuts.And if you’re ready to take the next right step to live your life with more confidence and no regrets, this is your time.Sign up for my exclusive signature course, Launch with Mel Robbins. It’s available for registration only through May 4, so grab your spot today!Learn all the exciting details and sign up here!Xo Mel  In this episode, you’ll learn: 3:00: Let me set the scene for you before everything started blowing up.4:30: Here’s how I set myself up to fail the night before.7:15: Then life kicks in big time and cue the mom guilt flood gates.10:40: Here’s what overfunctioning stress looks like in real life. Can you relate?14:30: If you don’t catch yourself in this state, your relationships pay the price.23:00: Chris nails the good, the bad, and the ugly side of overfunctioning.24:15: I thank Harriet Lerner for her research that helps me understand myself.26:30: Here’s how my anxiety sees my husband’s “underfunctioning” response to stress.28:30: And this is how Chris sees my “overfunctioning” response.32:00: Have a partner who handles stress differently? Here’s how to support each other.38:00: Chris explains what happens in HIS brain and body when he’s stressed.42:30: Holy mackerel, I just realized I never stopped to do this in my stress episode.46:00: This is a tool our couple’s therapist gave us that really helps us to see each other. Disclaimer

You can be rich.(Don’t roll your eyes at me; I’m serious.)This is not what you think.This episode today is so digestible. So counterintuitive. One of the most enlightening conversations I’ve had with anybody. If I had a nickel for every epiphany I had during this episode, I’d be rich.Most of us have been thinking about money all wrong.It turns out that the amount of money you have in the bank (or don’t have in the bank) is only a small part of your relationship with money.I didn’t realize this until I got to sit down with the incredible Ramit Sethi.He’s a NYT best-selling author and finance advisor with a brand new, top-ranked Netflix series called How to Be Rich, where he coaches real people about how to take control of their financial lives.He says you’ve been thinking about money all wrong. This is one of my favorite conversations ever.It changed the way I think about money.If you were told that you need to create a budget and stick to it, Ramit calls BS.Instead, you’ll learn about your money dials, the only four numbers that matter, the 85% Rule, why the 10 Year Bucket List is so important, the one thing you should NEVER say about yourself, and best of all, what it means to live a Rich Life.Today’s episode is going to change the way you SEE money, because when you see it differently, you’ll treat it differently.If you’re feeling crushed by debt, you’re trying to save for a new home, you can’t stop spending, or you’re constantly getting into arguments with your partner over money issues, you need to hear this episode today.You have to learn to feel confident around money, and Ramit has the practical tools and resources to teach you how.And if you’re looking for another zero-cost resource to help you change your mindset around finances, I’ve got just the thing.Sign up for my free training called Take Control with Mel Robbins.  You’ll be joining a quarter million other students who’ve signed up already and you’ll get 3 incredible video trainings plus a 21-page workbook that will help you get the clarity you’re looking for to change the direction of your life. All you have to do is sign up here. Xo Mel  In this episode, you’ll learn: 6:05: Just like me, Ramit has his own story of big-time money loss. 11:20: Assignment #1: Think back to your 20’s and ask yourself this question. 12:45: How do your childhood influences impact your beliefs around money?19:30: This is a truth bomb about money that you need to hear. 20:15: If you want to live a rich life, you need to do two things.22:30: My favorite thing to spend money on might seem ridiculous.24:45: Wondering what most people love to spend money on? 30:00: Why is it important to come up with a fun vision around money?33:30: How do you define your “rich life”?34:30: What is a rich life for someone living in debt?37:45: I think everyone listening needs to do this fun activity.40:30: Especially if life is hard right now, THIS is what you have to do..45:30: Here’s how you step your way closer to your rich life.47:00: How can you feel in control of something if you don’t understand the details?48:30: The four numbers everyone should know to stop feeling overwhelmed by money.56:00: NEVER say this about yourself because it will create your reality.59:00: We have a bad relationship with money in this country.50:00: Use this tool to figure out how long it will pay off your debt.1:06:30: The two areas most people spend too much money on.1:10:00: Ramit lays down the bottom line about changing your mindset around money. 1:13:00: Here’s your new money mantra to play on repeat.  Disclaimer 

A few years ago, I found this study from Harvard, and it changed my life.It's research about performance and feeling nervous, with a simple reframing method that you can use to never let fear stop you again.I’ve been using this technique with my five second rule for years, and the first way I applied it was to get control of my nerves and fear of public speaking.I’m going to teach you this new method in a super cool way... by taking you on the road, on stage, and behind the scenes with me as I deliver a keynote address to 3,000 people at the convention center in Dallas.I’ve been wanting to bring you on the road with me for awhile, and this topic allowed me to record this episode live in multiple locations while all kinds of things were unfolding.There’s even an impromptu guest appearance from Michelle Poler, whose entire speaking career is about teaching people how to face their fears.This Harvard-backed technique is so cool because it leverages your body chemistry, physiology, and neural pathways to your advantage.The #1 fear most people have is public speaking, but this technique will help you with absolutely everything, whether it’s speaking up at work, giving an incredible presentation, not choking when you deliver the toast at your best friend’s wedding, performing better on tests, or even running better.Stop letting fear hold you back. Use science not only to reframe your fears into excitement but to conquer them once and for all.And one more thing. My free, brand new, research-backed training called "Take Control with Mel Robbins" is live and waiting for you. Get 3 incredible video trainings plus a 21-page workbook, and all you have to do is sign up here.Already a quarter of a million students are taking the course for free.I’m just waiting for you!Xo Mel  In this episode, you’ll learn: 5:00: I’m always asked how I got into public speaking. Here’s the story.10:15: The question YOU need to ask when someone asks how much you charge.12:15: One of THE best tools to calm your nerves is not meditation (for me), but this.13:30: This is my favorite quote from Charlie Bird Parker.15:15: The wardrobe failure that may have rivaled Janet Jackson’s.16:30: Failure sucks, but the Pratfall Effect says failure can work for you. 19:00: I was so excited to meet this speaker and bestselling author from Venezuela.21:45: Best journal starter question ever: Are you alive but not living?24:30: Feeling like you never have time? You’re not going to believe this advice.28:15: Turns out modeling nude is actually a really profound experience. 29:00: Fear might indicate danger OR it might indicate growth. Pay attention.30:00: How can you tell the difference between true intuition and limiting fear?32:30: How do you get over your fear of public speaking?34:00: Feeling imposter syndrome? You’re not alone. Here’s what you need.40:15: Come on stage with me at the Dallas Convention Center.40:40: I’m going to face my biggest fear next year for Oakley’s 18th birthday.42:00: When you do something that scares the pants off you, remember this.44:30: Tool #3 is based on research from Harvard - here’s what you tell yourself.50:00: You don’t feel butterflies when you’re nervous because you’re going to screw up. Disclaimer

In this episode, you’re learning a simple but powerful way to take control of your mindset. You need to get serious about your mindset. The way you think and talk to yourself has serious consequences.Your thoughts become your beliefs.Your beliefs turn into actions.Your actions become habits.And your habits determine who you are and what you achieve in life, or not.That’s why you need a Mindset Reset.Imagine if your thoughts were positive, empowering, clear, and encouraging. Imagine if your beliefs inspired the best in you.If you’re tired of listening to a voice that beats you down, fills you with doubt, and argues against your goals and dreams, it’s time to change your thinking.Today, you’ll learn how to do it for yourself and start programming a more positive, empowering, and confident mindset.So pull up a seat as I coach two people through the process.I’m so confident you’re going to be fired up after listening to this episode that I have a free gift to help you take your current mindset to the next level.I have a brand new, free, 3-part training called "Take Control with Mel Robbins."It will provide you with the coaching, structure, and support you need to hit reset, take control, and level up your life.It features 3 brand-new training videos, two hours of research-backed curriculum taught by me, and a 21-page workbook. Plus you’ll be with hundreds of thousands of other students taking the course for free around the world.All at zero cost to you. Why? Because you deserve it, and it’s my way of thanking you for being here with me.You’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain. Why not take advantage of this opportunity? I’ll see you in the course!Xo Mel In this episode, you will learn: 5:00: What does your default critical soundtrack sound like in your mind?7:30: Here’s the mantra I want you to start your day with. 9:45: This is one of my easiest and favorite tools for dealing with a critical voice.16:00: This is the #1 hit playlist I want you to put on repeat. 17:30: Drop this word if you want to improve your relationship with others.22:30: Work on the most important relationship of all first.24:15: What if your critics are the voices of your boss, partner, and friends?26:25: This trauma response is very common when you live in a state of anxiety.30:15: Here’s why telling yourself that you love yourself doesn’t work for you.32:00: Yes, your boss may be a douche, but you don’t have to let that ruin you.35:00: Don’t leave today without taking away this message. Disclaimer

This episode blew my freakin’ mind.After you meet our expert today and learn her revolutionary approach to simplifying your life, you will never approach the topic of picking up, cleaning up, or organizing the same way again.Whether it’s your desk or closet that is overwhelming you, or like me, you are guilty of constantly starting projects and putting things in piles, only to run out of time or get flustered, creating bigger projects to deal with in the future, today’s episode will change your entire life.I had no idea how simple it could be to feel organized and in control.I learned from our expert today that I was attacking organization completely wrong, and that was the problem.Her 5 steps are so life-changing that from the moment I finished talking to her, I started putting them into practice, and the results are incredible.Get ready to laugh and learn as I confess the details of what a disaster I am (my husband even rats me out).Luckily, the incredible Dana K. White, founder of the hit blog, A Slob Comes Clean, and author of How to Manage Your Home Without Losing Your Mind, is here to help us all.And that's not all.Don’t forget to sign up for "Take Control with Mel Robbins."It’s free. It’s my gift to you for supporting this podcast.It features 3 brand-new training videos, two hours of research-backed curriculum taught by me, and a detailed 21-page workbook.This training will provide you with the coaching, structure, and support you need to hit reset, take control, and level up your life.And if you combine this training with Dana’s advice about decluttering, you, my friend, won’t even recognize yourself in a week.All at zero cost to you. Why? Because you deserve it, and it’s my way of thanking you for being here with me.You’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain. So why not take advantage of this opportunity?Sign up for free at melrobbins.com/takecontrol now.In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:00: What Chris thinks about living with a slob. 😂4:40: Wait. Organizing and decluttering are NOT the same thing?6:20: Focus this way on organizing, and it will change your life.7:30: Why doesn’t it work to buy all those organizing containers?9:45: How do you know what your “clutter threshold” is?12:15: We’ve gotten the purpose of containers all wrong!17:40: Use “the visibility rule” before you do anything.20:00: This is why you begin with a BLACK trash bag.23:30: This part is still pretty easy. I can do this and you can, too.25:00: Here’s why you don’t want a fancy “donate” box.26:30: The decluttering question you’ve never heard before.30:45: Here’s what REALLY happens with those organized piles.31:50: No piles. Here’s what you do instead.34:15: This is why we always put off organizing in the first place.37:35: The second decluttering question you’ve never heard before.39:00: Stop making organizing seem so big!43:30: Spoiler alert: avoiding clutter doesn’t make it go away.48:30: So how DO you live with a partner who’s a slob? Disclaimer

Today’s episode is a continuation of our exclusive two-part series with world-renowned medical expert Dr. Russell Kennedy.If you thought Part 1 of this series was life-changing, buckle up! Part 2 of this Toolkit brings you even more strategies and tools as we take questions from three more listeners of the podcast.Is anxiety impacting your ability to sleep?Tired of the negative loop of thoughts in your mind?Is anxiety affecting your kids?Is it genetic?Are there surprising signs of adult anxiety?Did your parents struggle with it, and you never knew?How do you break generational cycles?Dr. Kennedy answers these questions and so many more. You’ll also learn what most therapists get "wrong" about anxiety.You'll find Dr. Kennedy’s approach both revolutionary and effective. As a medical doctor and neuroscientist, he will coach you on the critical difference between "coping” with anxiety and his protocol for "healing" it once and for all.And for anyone in your life who may be struggling, please share this exclusive series generously; it could provide the life-changing answers and guidance they need to finally heal.If you are looking for more free resources and support, I’ve got you! I have a brand new, free 3-part training called "Take Control with Mel Robbins."This training will provide you with the coaching, structure, and support you need to hit reset, take control, and level up your life.It features 3 brand-new training videos, two hours of research-backed curriculum taught by me, and a detailed 21-page workbook. Plus, you’ll be taking the course with over half a million other students around the world.All at zero cost to you. Why? Because you deserve it, and it’s my way of thanking you for being here with me.You’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain. So why not take advantage of this opportunity?Sign up for free at melrobbins.com/takecontrol now.Xo Mel  P.S. And if you haven’t yet listened to The Toolkit for Healing Anxiety, Part 1 then do that as soon as you listen to this one, because you can’t afford to miss out. P.S.S. This Toolkit for Healing Anxiety is not meant as a replacement for therapy, but if you’ve been seeing a therapist for a while, forward this series to them for guidance too. It would be great information to include in your sessions. In this episode, you’ll learn:3:45 What do you do when your anxiety creeps in at night?6:15: Here’s where most therapeutic approaches get it wrong.7:15: Use this strategy when you wake up in the night with anxiety.10:00: Living with social anxiety? Dr. Kennedy explains why.12:00: This is why you have a hard time slowing down. And me too!14:30: I couldn’t believe what happened when I started facing my anxiety.15:45: Cold plunges teach your body to be uncomfortable and still be okay.17:15: This approach doesn’t eliminate the alarm, and yet you still heal.20:00: Dr. Kennedy’s #1 tool to move you into rest-and-digest pretty quickly.21:15: Not sure what your nervous system has to do with anxiety? Listen here.23:45: Use these two tools to move yourself out of the freeze response.30:00: So how do you start breaking the cycle of anxiety in a family?34:30: For those of us who grew up in the “I’ll give you something to cry about.”35:00: What are signs that your parents were actually struggling with anxiety?43:30: Here’s what your life can look like once you heal your alarm.45:15: Look at your alarm this way, and your mindset towards it changes, too.49:45: Here’s the neuroscience behind why essential oils help calm your body.52:00: Dr. Kennedy shares his tips for playing “the right way.”56:15: Have this where you can see it to remember your partner’s vulnerability. And if you missed when Dr. Kennedy joined us the first time, click here! Disclaimer

Today’s episode is my gift to you and anyone in your life who struggles with anxiety.I created this exclusive series, "The Toolkit for Healing Anxiety," because of the number of questions I am receiving from listeners asking for more resources on this topic. Part 1 is packed with tactical takeaways and features Dr. Russell Kennedy, one of the world's most respected medical experts on anxiety. Dr. Kennedy is a medical doctor and neuroscientist who has a revolutionary and effective approach to helping his patients understand and heal anxiety.(He's also been our most popular expert on the podcast to date.)Dr. Kennedy teaches you the truth about where anxiety comes from and the mistake that most therapists make when treating it. You’ll also have a front-row seat as he coaches listeners on the critical difference between "coping with anxiety" and his protocol for "healing it" once and for all.I can’t wait for you to listen and apply the advice in this life-changing series.And for anyone in your life who may be struggling, please share this exclusive series generously; it could provide the answers and guidance they need.If you have follow-up questions, send them to me in the DMs or through the podcast topic link on melrobbins.com/podcast. We read them and use them to program future episodes (this toolkit is an example of that).This episode is not meant as a replacement for therapy, but if you’ve been seeing a therapist for a while and aren’t seeing yourself improve, you may want to forward this series to them for guidance too.Xo Mel Didn’t get to listen to Dr. Kennedy’s first interview? Check that out here.In this episode, you’ll learn: ·         5:00: I bet you haven’t heard this definition of anxiety before. . ·         6:15: So where exactly does anxiety come from?·         7:30: This is a revolutionary way of thinking about how to heal anxiety.·         8:45: If you’re waking up this way, that’s a red flag. ·         9:45: A trauma response isn’t directed outward- it’s here instead.·         12:00: Have you tried everything to deal with your anxiety? ·         14:45: Forget what you’ve tried so far, THIS is what will actually heal you.·         19:00: This sign of anxiety may surprise you. ·         22:00: Anxiety happens because of this and addictions “fix” it·         24:00: I think there are these three layers to healing your anxiety.·         27:15: What the hell does “inner child” mean and why does it matter?·         30:00: There’s a difference between drama and trauma. ·         34:00: Dr. Kennedy tried everything, but only this healed his anxiety.·         37:00: Okay, what’s one specific and tangible tool we can use?·         40:30: Do this together with me now.·         44:00: Here’s why play is so important for healing trauma.·         47:00: Healing will take time. Here’s why and what you need. Disclaimer

Today, you and I are calling BS on partners, friends, siblings, colleagues, and roommates who ride on your coattails, mooch off your generosity, and love the fact that you do everything. (While they do next to nothing.…) It’s time to take your power back with 5 actionable takeaways to get people in your life to step up and do their part. I’m not messing around. The first person you’ll meet in this episode is tired of being the only one holding her family together.   And during the second coaching session I get even more intense with a woman whose boyfriend hasn’t had a job in three years. Hear me loud and clear: by enabling other people, you are part of the problem.  There are 5 things you need to know that will change this dysfunction now. Clear your schedule for the next hour because you and I have an appointment where you, my friend, will learn how to lay down the law and start putting yourself first. Xo Mel  Can’t ask for what you need? Listen to “How to Speak Up for Yourself.” In this episode, you will learn: 3:00: Do you have people in your life who rely on you a little too much?4:30: Maybe you’re being used or maybe it’s this instead.7:00: Is it time for you to be the parent now?10:00: This is how to get your entire family on the same page.14:00: Your siblings will understand your expectations if you do this.17:15: Do this to make people feel that they’re doing the right thing.21:30: Have a partner that isn’t pulling their weight? You need to hear this.35:00: This is how you start a conversation when it’s time to set boundaries.38:30: In a toxic partnered relationship? This is the truth bomb you need.40:15: Has it become more important to be loved than to love yourself?44:45: Let me coach you through this exercise to help you change your future.48:00: Another truth bomb you need to hear today, no matter what you’re doing.51:45: Listen to Brooke set a courageous boundary for the first time.54:00: Keep little ears away, because this is what tough f’n love sounds like.56:30: Stop letting your patterns make choices for you and step up.1:00:45: Use this word instead of “ultimatum” when it’s time for that. Disclaimer

In this episode, you and I are talking about how to protect your peace. You already spend a lot of time trying to be positive - so today I want to remind you that it is just as important to protect your energy  from people and situations who suck it dry.  You know the ones.  The friend who is so n-e-g-a-t-i-v-e, about everything! The rude person at the coffee shop. The colleague who’s always stirring the pot.The toxic dynamic with certain family members. Negative people are like dogs who have just jumped into a muddy pond. They come running up to you smelling all nasty and as soon as they get next to you - boom - they shake all that crap all over you.  It’s time to protect yourself. Today’s podcast episode will teach you six super easy science-backed strategies to help you create an impenetrable force field against bad energy (and muddy dogs). You can’t allow that crap to get on you - because your positive life force deserves your protection! And today I’m teaching you how.  Force fields up! Positive energy out! Because that, my friend, is something to feel great about! Xo Mel  In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:00: Jumping right in with Veronica’s question about emails that ruin her day.3:50: You probably have your own stories of entitlement like this one.7:30: This technique I use when somebody’s mood is getting all over me.9:15: The “snow globe” works best when you’re getting attitude.12:30: I know this about people when they explode into a tantrum.14:30: Science explains why our bodies stress when we’re around bad moods.17:20: Work in a toxic environment? You have these two choices.22:40: Dealing with a curmudgeon? I got you. Use the law of reciprocity.26:00: Here’s how I melted the ice when I became a legal analyst with CNN.29:30: Gossip is bad for your brain and body. Here’s why.31:30: Here’s the #1 strategy to stop your gossip today.33:30: Once you see triangulation, you’ll look at your relationships differently.36:00: This one simple strategy can brighten someone’s day right now. Have you been betrayed? Listen to “What to do when you’ve been cheated on.”Need a confidence boost? Here’s your “Confidence Toolkit.” Disclaimer

In today’s episode, I’m finally answering the #1 personal question that I get asked: What’s the story behind my tattoo on my right wrist? Pull up a seat to laugh along with us as Chris and I share our tattoo adventure - complete with anxiety, jealousy, intention, love, a huge mistake on my part, and the most incredible moments of synchronicity. But it’s not just a story; there’s a much more profound topic we are discussing today.  Because tattoos aren’t really about tattoos.  They are an example of a powerful, positive force that habit researchers call an “environmental trigger.”  They’re also an example of another tool that you can use to create a more powerful and resilient mindset. Because a lot of tattoos are also “meaningful mantras.”  Today, you will learn how to create and use positive triggers and meaningful mantras to improve your life and to remind you of either a deeper purpose or the values you want to live by. This goes way beyond etching ink onto your body.  By the end of this episode, you’ll not only be inspired to create your own meaningful mantra, you will have several specific examples of how you can create a positive environmental trigger using things you have around your house.  One thing’s for sure, this episode will leave a lasting impression. 😄 Xo Mel   In this episode, you’ll learn: 6:00: I’m answering this personal question so many of you have been asking.8:30: Chris shares his powerful story for the tattoo he etched on his forearm.12:00: The inspiration for my own tattoo came from this.15:00: You won’t believe what happened on our 15th wedding anniversary.18:00: Here’s how I beat myself up while Chris was getting his tattoo.19:00: You might know this already, but a tattoo isn’t just a tattoo. 21:00: I just love the synchronicity behind this entire tattoo event.24:30: Chris’s tattoo has become a lifeline for him, especially now.30:30: Rule #1: a mantra will only work for you if you have this first.32:15: Need an idea for your own mantra? I’ve got a bunch of them for you.34:30: Here’s how to figure out your own powerful mantra.36:30: This is what scientists think about why tattoos are so powerful.38:15: Here’s what Chris did that gets him emotional every time he sees it.41:00: Are you a busy mom? Then this mantra might work for you.42:40: Maybe you need to shift your thinking about a mantra this way. Learn more about “How & Why Synchronicity Can Improve Your Life.”Want more about finding your purpose? “Stop Searching and Do This Instead.” Disclaimer

In this episode, you’re learning how to speak up for yourself and make sure that you are heard. Whether you want to be more influential and visible at work or there’s a hard conversation that you’ve been avoiding with a family member, this episode will empower you to have a breakthrough. Most of us have never been taught the skills we need to have challenging conversations or to better advocate for our needs. The good news is that these are skills, and you are going to learn them in a very entertaining and relatable format today. You’re invited to listen in on multiple coaching sessions with listeners just like you and me who are struggling to find the words or the courage to say what needs to be said. So today I’m unpacking my formula, step by step, for handling challenging conversations. This is an excellent episode to send to people in your life who you really wish saw their own value and worth and could communicate it better. I can’t wait to hear how these very clear steps have helped you have those conversations you’ve been putting off and to show up differently at work and school. Xo Mel  Want me to answer your question on the podcast? Submit it here. In this episode, you’ll learn: 3:00: Listen to Claudia’s question about how to set boundaries in friendships.5:30: Here are 3 reasons why we avoid difficult conversations in the first place.14:40: Do you have a friend who criticizes you? Listen to this.17:30: Make sure you are ready with THIS before you start your conversation.19:45: This is a prime example of a time when I was being a crappy friend.23:30: Here’s what you should assume before you have a conversation.25:30: Never do this or you’ll put the other person on the defensive.26:45: If you can, PLEASE have your conversation this way.30:40: Here’s my favorite visual when it’s my turn to listen.33:40: Do you have to communicate with an ex? Listen to Erica.35:50: You’ve got to learn how to “gray rock” when dealing with difficult people.36:40: See the petty people in this ridiculous way and it will help!39:30: Like it or not, you have to have this conversation for your kids’ sake.40:30: Here is what anger and pettiness actually is.41:15: One of two things will happen when you handle conversations like this.43:30: How do you handle combative people in your life? Listen to Candace.46:00: Here’s what a person with anxious attachment needs to hear from you.49:00: Need to have a conversation with someone who’s triggered easily? Is it time to let go of your relationship? If so, then listen to “How to Let Go.” Learn about “The 4 Attachment Styles for Healthy Relationships.” Disclaimer

I made you an appointment with one of the world’s leading doctors in functional medicine.Dr. Mark Hyman has written an incredible 14 (!!!) New York Times best sellers. He is the founder and director of The UltraWellness Center, and Head of Strategy and Innovation at the Cleveland Clinic Center for Functional Medicine.His latest book, Young Forever, teaches you science-backed, actionable steps to slow down the aging process and even reverse disease.An appointment like this would cost $$$ in person, but today, it’s free for you.Seriously, you will be floored by what you hear.No matter how old you are, you have more control over your health than you may think, and it’s never too early or too late to start making simple yet profound changes.Having trouble sleeping? We've got you.Brain fog and headaches messing up your day? Check.Low energy? We hear you.Anxiety and ADHD running your life? We’re covering that too.In this episode, we are breaking everything down point by point so that you get the specific, actionable steps you need to start changing your life in real time.Grab a notebook because the doctor is in and he will see you now.Get ready to take charge of your health like never before.Xo MelCheck out research and other resources at melrobbins.com/podcast. In this episode, you’ll learn: 9:30: Food is not just food; here’s what it becomes once you eat it.12:30: So what’s the connection between gut health and overall health?14:45: What exactly is inflammation and what’s causing it?16:30: Okay, so then what does a healthy gut look like?19:30: Put these foods on your plate for 10 days and see what happens.23:30: The big fat lie we’re being fed every day.25:30: Can changing my gut heal my anxiety?27:15: This simple tool will improve digestion and calm your nerves.28:30: Phenomenal story of ADHD that was healed in two months.31:30: The difference between two main types of allergies.34:00: Holy sh*t! What Dr. Hyman said that reminded me of Oakley.37:45: The 5 major things in your life that cause inflammation.40:00: Simple tips to help you start sleeping better.42:40: If we could cure this, we’d extend our lives by more than 7 years.44:45: These are the supplements you and I should be taking.48:15: Here’s what causes your body to dump too much magnesium.50:50: Trouble with your hormones? You need to hear this.55:00: Do this if you want a clear picture of your health.59:45: What probiotics help reset your gut? Want me to answer your question on the podcast? Submit it here.Start your day off with focus using “A Toolkit for the Perfect Morning Routine.”Here are more “Simple Ways to Improve Your Brain Health.” Disclaimer

In this episode, you and I are tackling overwhelm together as I coach five listeners just like you who are tired of feeling so stressed. I promise this will be helpful, fun, and full of powerful tools you can put to use immediately. You need that because you’re drowning in your to-do lists, taking care of everyone else but yourself, and you’re saying yes to every commitment that enters your inbox.  That’s why simple solutions are the answer. And I need these solutions too. I feel like my to-do list is overflowing and the demands are piling up. But that’s okay, because with The Mel Robbins Podcast, you get to show up exactly as you are. And today, we will start breaking down the two types of overwhelm so you can understand exactly what it is you’re dealing with.  But we don’t stop there. You’re also getting three simple but profound strategies to help you eliminate the overwhelm from your life. So that you start feeling energized again.  And I so want that for you.  Xo Mel Check out research and other resources at melrobbins.com/podcast.In this episode, you’ll learn: 3:30: If you’re a parent or caregiver, you’ll recognize yourself in Laura’s question.8:00: Knowing the two types of overwhelm has profoundly impacted my life.9:00: What my talk show mentor taught me that I’ll never forget.11:45: When it comes to dealing with legitimate overwhelm, start here.14:45: Can you have a morning routine when your life is overwhelmed?17:00: When life seems insanely busy, you have to stop telling yourself this lie.18:00: Here’s my #1 strategy for dealing with overwhelm.23:30: Are you someone who says yes to everything? Then this is for you.28:40: The Rule of Three saves me every time.32:35: This truth about procrastination will make you see it in a whole new way.38:15: Procrastinating on paying your bills? You need to listen to Michelle. Want me to answer your question on the podcast? Submit it here.Don’t know how to say no? Listen to “Start Putting Yourself First.”And I know you will like “The Only Way to Stop Procrastinating.” Disclaimer

In this episode, we are digging into betrayal and learning how to get your power back after someone shatters your trust. It’s happened to me and I know it’s happened to you, too. Maybe someone cheated on you. Maybe someone stole from you in business. Perhaps it was a friend who stabbed you in the back.   It’s painful.   You might not be sure how to confront that person, or if it’s even worth it.  Or if you did confront them, they may have denied and deflected, making you feel like something was wrong with you. Well today I’m using my own experiences with betrayal to coach Sonia and Jenn - and you - through this.  You always have options, and whether you believe it or not, you can get your power back. Today’s episode will help you heal, change your perspective, and equip you with the tools you need to land on your feet and be smarter, more open and able to create healthier relationships, partnerships, and friendships in the future. You deserve that. Buckle up, because your friend Mel is hitting you between the eyes with some hard earned wisdom and tough love today.   Xo Mel Check out research and other resources at melrobbins.com/podcast.In this episode, you’ll learn: 3:30: I was betrayed by someone in my business and this is what I learned.4:12: Sonia asks her question about a painful betrayal.5:15: Should you confront this person? Ask yourself this first.11:40: You don’t need to have this in order to feel closure with someone.14:20: Here’s how to have a conversation with someone who betrayed you.16:00: Jenn reveals how her painful betrayal has changed her.17:30: This is the hardest part of betrayal to grasp. Please play on repeat.19:20: Here is what you’re actually grieving after you’ve been betrayed.26:45: You need to change your story of betrayal. Here’s how.28:30: Trying to work through betrayal with someone you love? Listen to this.34:40: Here is what the experts say about affairs. 39:45: The advice from Jenn that you need to hear if you’ve just been betrayed. Want me to answer your question on the podcast? Submit it here.Here is Betrayal 101: “3 Lessons From One of the Hardest Years of My Life.”When it’s time to do this, listen to “How to Let Go.” Disclaimer

In this episode, you and I are getting intentional about your happiness.Happiness is misunderstood.Fortunately, there’s a ton of research that explains why it can be so elusive and, even better, HOW you can create a happier life, starting today.Our conversation about happiness begins with breaking down the two types of happiness and why it’s important for you to include both in your life.You’ll also learn four practical takeaways that research says are key for cultivating more happiness in your daily life.I love this episode, and I can’t wait for you to experience it! I am bringing the science and the strategies, and I have a phenomenal metaphor to share with you that will forever change the way you view happiness.You’re not only going to learn what to do; you’re going to experience several listeners just like you who are seeking more happiness and fulfillment in their lives.This is a highly relatable, entertaining, and transformative episode, so don’t miss out.You’ll be happy you joined us.Xo Mel Check out research and other resources at melrobbins.com/podcast.And if you want to start owning your mornings, join my free Wake Up Challenge. In this episode, you’ll learn: 3:00: Can’t remember the last time you were truly happy? You’re not alone.5:00: Does this happen to you when you chase happiness?8:00: What do we mean by happiness, anyway?8:30: You knew this was coming- my favorite metaphor for happiness!10:15: Science puts happiness into these two buckets.14:00: The problem when you’re on a big healing journey and what to do about it.23:00: Can you feel happy even during the mundane, ordinary days?24:15: Believe it or not, here’s where you find true happiness.26:30: This is the single best decision you can make to cultivate happiness.30:00: This is how your brain reads loneliness because you’re meant to connect.35:00: Building warm relationships starts here.37:30: Here’s how I reorganized my own life to stop feeling lonely.39:50: My mom is a pro at this and research shows it will boost your energy.44:30: What do you need to know about feeling inner peace?46:30: Here’s why older people tend to be happier.48:30: Three surprising ways to actually invite more peace in your life. Want me to answer your question on the podcast? Submit it here. This episode pairs well with “You’ll Never Be Truly Happy Until You Start Doing This” Learn how to train your mind with “The Mindset Reset Toolkit.”. Disclaimer 

Today’s episode is a trip. I can’t wait to introduce you to my favorite metaphor - a road trip - to inspire you to have more fun and enjoy the ride on this thing called life. After all, life is a journey. And no one’s path is exactly the same.  So today, I’m asking you to think about this road trip called life.  And I’m going to be asking you to consider some thought-provoking questions: Are you the driver or the passenger of your life? Are you even on the right road?  Do you need to pick a new direction?  Are you heading where you want to go, but speeding so fast you can’t enjoy the ride? Is it time to update the road trip playlist (in your head)? And most importantly, what lies on the road ahead?  Whether you’ve just graduated, you’re an empty nester, or you’re somewhere in between, this episode is the perfect gift to send to absolutely everyone in your life. Change is scary, but it doesn’t have to be. I’m here to help you navigate the road ahead.  This episode will empower you to take the wheel in your life. Because you, my friend, have choices.  And there’s a million ways to get to where you want to go. The best days of your life are ahead. I believe that, and after you embrace the opportunity of this road trip called life, you’ll believe it too!  Xo Mel Check out research and other resources at melrobbins.com/podcast.And if you want to start owning your mornings, join my free Wake Up Challenge. In this episode, you’ll learn: 1:00: You’re often asking me about my career history, well here it is!3:00: What does reinvention mean anyway?6:00: The #1 piece of advice to remember before you reinvent your life.8:45: 90% of the questions coming into my inbox are about this.9:40: This is my favorite metaphor when it comes to demystifying life’s journey.12:45: When you are stuck or you’re going through hell, do this first.14:15: What happens when life doesn't go the way you expected it to?17:30: When sh*t happens in your life, please don’t do this.18:30: Embrace these two truths about life, you’ll tap into your power.20:30: Do this activity to start loving the most important person in your life.22:00: What do you do when your life feels “blah” and uninspiring?26:45: Don’t miss these science-backed steps to create more excitement!31:45: I texted this study from Laura Vanderkam to all my parent friends.35:30: Your relationship to time is always going to be about this.36:15: This study with university students doesn’t make sense logically.40:00: Denise was thinking about this for 20 YEARS; listen to what happened. Want me to answer your question on the podcast? Submit it here. Want more help with your dreams? Listen to “Your Dreams Are Not a Joke” and “Goal-Setting Toolkit.” Disclaimer

In this episode, you are getting a brand new definition of confidence.This definition is based on research studies on how confidence is built.Confidence is not what you think it is.It is not a personality trait you’re born with, and it’s not reserved only for extroverts.Confidence is a skill that anyone can master.And today is the perfect day for you to start.You and I are breaking down the science together, and you’re invited to join in as I coach several listeners who are struggling with self-doubt.By the time this episode is done, you will not only have a brand new definition of confidence, but you will also know how to put that definition to use to start building unstoppable confidence in your own life.Confidence is your birthright. You can’t lose it; you just lost your connection to it.Let’s get that back.If you are willing to get up every day and put one foot in front of the other, you, my friend, will not only be practicing and building confidence, but over time you’ll start feeling more confident too.Xo Mel Check out research and other resources at melrobbins.com/podcast.In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:00: The question Heather asked about confidence that so many of you have.3:50: Honestly, here’s what happens when you have more confidence.6:00: This is a “doing podcast," so here’s your first assignment.8:30: This is what you and I were getting wrong about confidence. Until now.8:45: Your new definition of confidence that embodies the research.13:45: Here is one of the simplest and yet profound reasons for my success.14:40: Did you happen to catch my 21-minute panic attack on TEDx?16:50: Neuroscience says it gets easier to feel confident when you do this.21:40: Feeling like an imposter? Great! Here’s why.23:30: Alex’s question led us to talk about Myth #1 about confidence.24:20: Here’s a surprising fact about confidence.25:55: Myth #2 about confidence needs to be laid to rest.27:00: Telling yourself that you lost your confidence? Then listen to Myth #3.28:10: I’ve loved this TED Talk for years. 29:00: Use tool #1 to interrupt your self-doubt and do what you’re afraid of..31:25: Confidence does not come before action; THIS does.31:00: There are two types of people when it comes to action. Which are you?33:30: Rule #2 is fun; research says it’s the fastest way to create new habits.35:45: Rule #3 is absolutely essential if you want to build confidence.38:00: Rule #4 is what I tell myself every time I’m about to do something scary.40:50: I don’t want to come to the end of my life feeling this.42:45: If you’re willing to feel this way, you’re guaranteed to keep growing.44:15: Do you like this person you’re spending your life with?46:00: Be careful who you give your number one commodity away to.49:30: Ultimately, here’s why you’re not feeling confident. Now change that.51:00: This is the hard truth about life that you need to hear. Want me to answer your question on the podcast? Submit it here. Sign up for my free 5-day Wake Up Challenge to wake up your confidence. Disclaimer

This is an episode about how to face the things that you’re scared to admit, or as in the case of my guest today, have never publicly spoken about.Today, you and I are going on a healing journey so that you can put the past where it belongs: in the rearview mirror.You deserve healing.It’s the only pathway for experiencing true peace, happiness, and the greatness you’re capable of.So, I’m introducing you to a friend of mine who had some serious sh*t to face and has spent the last several years addressing the things that used to drag him down.Do not miss this deeply personal conversation.It is profound. It is relevant to your life and packed with so much wisdom. And we jump right in. There are so many mic-drop moments, it would be hard for me to pick just one, because my guest today was so unguarded and generous.You may know him, but you’ve never heard him like this before.I’m talking about Lewis Howes, host of the award-winning podcast, The School of Greatness, which just celebrated its 10-year anniversary and has over 500 million downloads.His brand new book, The Greatness Mindset, teaches you how to discover your own unique gifts and talents, but more importantly, how to do the work to heal.And look, this conversation is “unguarded” and covers sensitive topics (particularly perhaps for the men in your life). So if this isn’t for you right now – please skip this episode.I cannot wait to hear your favorite and most meaningful parts of this unforgettable conversation with Lewis.Xo MelIn this episode, you’ll learn: 3:00: After all the work he’s done, how does Lewis define greatness?4:50: If you’re drowning emotionally, here’s what to do.6:00: One of the most profound ways to start accepting yourself.8:00: If you were bullied or didn’t do well in school, you’ll relate to this.13:00: Almost all of us have an identity crisis at some point in our lives.14:43: Here’s what happens when success never feels fulfilling.15:40: What does it feel like to be “at peace”?19:30: Listen to Lewis describe the surprising places he felt his past trauma.21:00: Here’s how Lewis came to terms with being dyslexic.23:40: If you haven’t healed trauma, here’s how it can come out in your day to day life.28:20: Lewis describes the first time he shared his trauma out loud.37:00: No matter what you do, you don’t feel like you’re enough. Here’s what to do.37:35: Here’s what’s incredible about seeing your own value.40:30: Lewis started a podcast when podcasts were not really a thing. This is how it began.42:30: The wake up moment that led to The School of Greatness.45:15: Do this when you want to change your career or start a business.46:30: I love this way of thinking about winning.48:30: Out of hundreds, this is the interview guest that had the most impact.50:30: Lewis only found real love after doing this first.53:00: What does it mean to no longer abandon yourself?54:00: Most men struggle with this because they were never taught how.56:30: The powerful words Lewis said at the start of his current relationship.58:00: The moment in Lewis’ therapy that changed everything.60:00: The surprising place where Lewis found men who felt emotionally free. Visit www.melrobbins.com/podcast for additional resources. Want me to answer your question on the podcast? Submit it here.Disclaimer

In this episode, you are going to learn how to put yourself first. Which means you and I are having a conversation about people-pleasing. You know you do it. I do it, too.  In fact, unless you're a narcissistic jerk (and you’re not if you’re listening to these podcast episodes), we are all people-pleasers to some extent. Being a people-pleaser is a coping mechanism and it is destroying your energy, your time, your dreams, and your sanity. Every time you say yes to something you don’t really want to do, you’re saying no to yourself. Today, we’re changing that in a surprising way. First, you’ll become aware of when and why you do it. Second, you’ll learn the science-backed tools you need to break the habit of always putting other people’s needs before your own. Third, you and I are going to have a talk about guilt, because when you start saying no, one thing I can guarantee is that you’ll feel guilty about it. I used to, too. I don’t anymore. And I’ll explain how you can handle the guilt and still put yourself first. One of the critical steps to creating a life you love is learning how to say yes to what matters to you and no to what doesn’t. This is a big topic; there are a lot of surprising layers. So I can’t wait for you to apply these relatable and easy strategies to your life and to hear about your breakthroughs.  Xo Mel  In this episode, you’ll learn: 1:50: What the heck IS people-pleasing anyway? (4 takeaways you may have not heard)5:12: I bet you can relate to Janet who learned this message as a kid.6:00: Let’s just get the bad news about guilt out of the way.7:15: Because here is some good news about guilt!9:00: What does a pool table have to do with people-pleasing?14:50: I still cringe when I think of this phone call with my father.18:45: Here’s how a pool table can double as a desk 😂22:10: What happens when your friends don’t like the “new you”?24:45: At the heart of people-pleasing is this.26:00: This research explains why we avoid discomfort. 27:16: Think people-pleasing is about others? Think again.28:00: The surprising advice for how to handle disappointment from others.31:50: What if your lifestyle is now different from your friends?34:30: Here’s where to find friends who get you.35:10: Please stop looking here for validation as you change your life.37:50: Are you sure you know when you’re being authentic?40:00: Do this to start figuring out who you really are.42:00: Do this next time you’re asked to do something you don’t want to do.47:00: Here’s how my friend Amy reacted when I had to bail on her at dinner in Vegas.48:50: This is what happens every time you start to say no. Want me to answer your question on the podcast? Submit it here. Visit www.melrobbins.com/podcast for additional resources. Sign up for my free 5-day Wake Up Challenge. Disclaimer

In this episode, I’m on a mission to open your eyes to new possibilities. What do you really want from your life? And how can you reimagine your next career move to help you fulfill it? If you’re feeling stuck in a job you hate, were just laid off or fired, just graduated, or you have no idea what you want to do with your life, this episode is my gift to you. I wanted to do something to help you gain the clarity and courage that you need to make a big change when you’re feeling uncertain. So I’ve arranged for you to meet with one of the best experts on the planet for a zero cost masterclass and coaching session on getting clear on your next career move, Amy Porterfield. Her new book, Two Weeks Notice, is the playbook for how you build a successful side hustle or business with zero prior experience. Amy’s taught more than 50,000 people just like you how to go from dreading their job to designing the life and work they’ve dreamed about. Today Amy is coaching you, and when you’re done listening to our conversation, you’ll not only be inspired, but you’ll also have the tactical next steps to take. And, if you’ve ever quietly dreamt of having your own business, my mission today is to pour gasoline on that fire. After you listen, you’ll think differently about what you’re capable of, and you’ll get a taste of what COULD be. I always say you are one decision away from the rest of your life. If you’re ready to design a life you love waking up to, we’re about to teach you how. Xo Mel  In this episode, you’ll learn: 0:13: What you’ll learn today and why you don’t want to miss this episode.4:00: Laid off or in a job you hate? Here’s what you need to know right now8:00: Amy’s wake up call moment – and what you can learn from it.11:30: Have you ever felt there was something else you were supposed to do? 13:15: Jealousy is a good thing when it does this for you.22:30: Don’t know what to do next? Start with the Sweet Spot Formula.26:15: Adopt this mentality and you’ll start leveling up in all areas of your life.31:30:  If you want to be your own boss, start doing this.32:00: My #1 pro tip to get a free education. 34:00: Ok, but what do you do if you don’t have a lot of money?35:30: Here’s what happens to you once you take action.38:30: Think you’re too old to be your own boss? Listen to this story.44:50: My top two tips when it comes to feeling more confident.47:00: Afraid of others judging you? Here’s how you handle that.50:15: The power of your “starter idea” Want me to answer your question on the podcast? Submit it here. Visit www.melrobbins.com/podcast for additional resources. Sign up for my free 5-day Wake Up Challenge to start beating procrastination from the second your alarm goes off.Disclaimer

In this episode, we’re attacking procrastination head on – using science. Just think about how many hours, or heck YEARS, you have wasted thinking about what you needed to do instead of doing it.That ends today. This episode is packed with a simple, research-backed method to understanding why you procrastinate (it’s not what you think) and what researchers claim is the best way of tackling it.I predict this episode will be one of the most shared this year because procrastination kills more dreams than fear ever does.  Take a listen to this episode, and I will give you something priceless in return: more time. Imagine having hours to move closer to your dreams, hours to spend with your family, hours to move your body or read that novel, or hell, hours to do whatever the hell you want because you deserve it. In this episode, we cover everything from micro-procrastinating to avoiding the really important stuff. And as always, I am armed with research and simple takeaways that work. Specifically, you’ll learn 4 critical takeaways to apply to your life immediately, along with a science-backed 3-step technique to break free from your procrastination habit. Whether you are the captain of procrastination like I used to be, or you are just tired of wasting so much time scrolling on your phone, this toolkit is my zero-cost gift to you.  Nothing is more important than taking control of your time, so hit play and I’ll lead the way to ending that vicious cycle you feel stuck in. Don’t procrastinate on listening to this episode.  You deserve to understand why you're resisting parts of your life so that starting today, you can level up and get more out of it. Xo Mel  In this episode, you’ll learn: 3:05: Takeaway #1: Please stop labeling yourself as this.4:00: Takeaway #2: Two kinds of procrastination; which one are you doing?6:00: If you can’t do what you need to get done… you’re normal.8:45: Believe it or not, this is the #1 task most of us procrastinate on.10:15: Takeaway #3: You are not stuck being a procrastinator.12:10: Takeaway #4: This is actually what’s behind your procrastination.13:00: Procrastination defined in a way you’ve never heard before.19:00: Comfortable doesn’t mean you LIKE where you are.24:55: Do this when you catch yourself procrastinating.25:40: What the world’s leading expert found through his research on procrastination.29:35: The best question to ask yourself next time you catch yourself procrastinating.33:00: The #1 science-backed hack to break your procrastination habit.35:00: Your problem is not that you can’t; it’s that you’ve been trapped.37:50: You have to do THIS before you start believing in yourself. Want me to answer your question on the podcast? Submit it here. Visit www.melrobbins.com/podcast for additional resources. Sign up for my free 5-day Wake Up Challenge to start beating procrastination from the second your alarm goes off. Disclaimer

In this episode, you’re invited to sit in on a really personal and raw conversation with our 17-year-old son, Oakley. Whether you experience anxiety yourself or you’re just worried about someone you love who does, this episode is a powerful gift from my family to you. What Oakley shares based on his personal experience is life-changing. You will hear Oakley describe two periods of anxiety and some pretty scary and overwhelming thoughts that rose up freshman and sophomore years of high school. I am sharing this with you because Oakley is not alone in what he experienced. According to the CDC’s most recent data, anxiety in teens and adults continues to rise, with nearly half surveyed reporting persistent feelings of hopelessness.  Whether you’re an adult or a teen, depression and anxiety are two of those mental health conditions that leave you feeling isolated from everyone because it can seem like you’re the only one having these kinds of overwhelming thoughts. Today, in real-time, Oakley shines a light on what he experienced and how he worked through it. And don’t worry, this isn’t a downer. In typical Oakley fashion, he has me laughing as much as I was sighing. Two really important things come out of this conversation: #1: You get an inside view of what anxiety can look and feel like, and #2, you get to learn about the healing process Oakley engaged in with family, a therapist, his doctor, and medication to work his way through it and back to a clear, confident, and happy state of mind. I want to be clear. Oakley has chosen to share his own personal experience. With his therapist’s help, Oak feels more connected and empowered to ride the ups and downs of life and create deeper meaning in his life. And that’s what we want for you. So many of you write in to thank us for sharing these conversations with my adult kids because they help you open up conversations. Well, today’s conversation is meant to serve the same purpose. You may want to listen to this with people you love.  And please, share this. Share it with teachers, coaches, nieces, nephews, and parents who you know could use these insights. Too many of us try to deal with anxiety on our own. Let Oakley inspire you and the people you love to open up. You are not weird or messed up if you have fleeting dark thoughts, but if those thoughts persist, please reach out to a therapist, family, or friends. You don’t have to go through this alone. And if this topic is not for you right now, bookmark this episode and come back to it at another time. But it is a deeply powerful one you won’t want to miss. Xo Mel  In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:20: Is your loved one resistant to therapy? Here’s what to do.4:15: My son schooled me on therapy and why I should have done it for myself sooner.6:30: I had no idea he was feeling this way.8:40: Oakley describes his panic attack and dark thoughts.14:00: Here’s why Oakley didn’t share his feelings with us.19:30: This is what everyone has to know about big, scary thoughts.23:15: Here’s what Oakley suggests for those struggling.28:00: Oakley’s existential crisis that led to his breakdown.32:30: My panic attacks and anxiety felt like this.33:30: Here’s what we did to support Oakley.34:40: The John Mayer song that had a powerful impact on Oakley.46:45: Here’s where Oakley is now that he’s been working with his therapist.53:00: Two profound quotes that really resonate. Visit www.melrobbins.com/podcast for additional resources.Disclaimer

In this episode, we’re discussing morning routines.This episode is very tactical and covers 5 simple but essential components of a perfect morning routine.I’m really glad that you’re taking this topic seriously because every successful person you admire is serious about their mornings.I sure am.How you set up your day is typically how it ends up.I love my morning routine so much that I call it the Million Dollar Morning, because it makes me feel like a million bucks for the rest of my day – and it creates a level of discipline in my life that helps me make millions of dollars too.But let me be clear: I am not naturally a morning person.And if that’s been your excuse, my mission is to change your mind.If you already have a morning routine, listen to this episode to take it up a notch.Xo Mel  Sign up today for my free 5-day Wake Up Challenge so you can start your own Million Dollar Morning routine tomorrow.  Once you finish listening,  be sure to check out the episode “The #1 Hack for Being More Productive Tomorrow” to learn why your morning routine begins the night before. In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:45: What is behavioral activation and how can it help you?4:50: How the first decision of your day is like the lead domino in a run.7:30: Feeling bad about your morning routine? Don’t. Here’s mine.8:20: Let’s talk about procrastination in the morning.12:10: I can relate if the heaviness of the morning overwhelms you.14:30: Morning routines are boring.16:30: Rule #1 of your brand new rockstar morning routine.17:10: Using The 5 Second Rule in your morning routine.21:05: The biggest and best question to ask yourself about getting up.23:00: Snooze Button Blues: the science behind why you shouldn’t snooze.26:20: The pep talk you need: what your alarm really means.27:00: Rule #2 will train you to start cleaning up life’s messes right off the bat.29:45: Rule #3 is my favorite simple habit that reminds me I’m a winner.34:00: Are you making this mistake in the bedroom?36:10: Rule #4 requires only 10 minutes to make a difference to your health.37:00: Do this in the morning and you’ll sleep better at night.38:00: Rule #5 The science-backed secret to making progress every day. Visit www.melrobbins.com/podcast for additional resources to help you go deeper.  Disclaimer

Today’s episode is a masterclass on finding your purpose, listening to your gut, and never giving up (no matter what other people say). So many of you write in asking for advice about purpose that I’ve decided to introduce you to a guest whose life story is the epitome of purpose. You’re about to meet a woman who went from serving up stacks of pancakes at Denny’s to creating a billion-dollar product that would help millions of women around the world feel confident in their own skin.  It was such a success that L'Oréal recently bought her company for $1.2 billion dollars. I’m talking about none other than Jamie Kern Lima, the founder of It Cosmetics. And if you think that her purpose in life was to create a cosmetics company, you’d be wrong. The topic of purpose is essential and misunderstood, so today I’ll teach you how to truly find your purpose using Jamie’s inspiring story and tactical tools every step of the way. In fact, her takeaways are so good that I refer to her as the “Professor of Purpose,” because by the end of this episode, you’ll be closer to finding yours. Learn how today. Class is in session with one of the most successful self-made women today. Xo Mel  For episodes notes and resources, go to melrobbins.com/podcast In this episode, you’ll learn: 4:10: Feel like there’s something bigger you’re supposed to do? Jamie did too.5:30: Like it or not, here’s why your current job is important to your future you. 6:29: Your setbacks are more valuable than you think.8:30: Jamie nails what “purpose” actually is and why most of us think of it in the wrong way.12:00: Big takeaway: your steps are ordered exactly as they should be.15:40: Why Jamie’s 1.2 billion dollar idea almost didn’t happen and the ‘AHA’ moment that changed everything.18:45: That modern-day beauty movement we love? It was done FIRST by Jamie.20:20: If you’re feeling stuck, here are the words you need to hear TODAY.22:00 How do you go from AHA to actually getting started?28:00: How to face your #1 critic (yourself) and start trusting your gut.33:10: A profound reframe on the hardships you have experienced.34:00: Jamie’s story of one of the most painful rejections she ever experienced and the life-changing lesson she learned about intuition.47:50: The expert advice Jamie defied to instead go with her gut.53:15: Listen to Jamie’s advice if you have been rejected over and over.56:30: Here’s the perfect way to frame your true power.58:20: Stop thinking about purpose in this way. Here’s the truth about finding your purpose.1:01:15: 2 exercises to help have your own ‘AHA’ moment.1:04:00: Why going after your dreams is YOUR responsibility. Take my free 5-day challenge – The Wake Up Challenge – to walk you through getting started with these tools: www.melrobbins.com/wakeup. Disclaimer

In this episode, we are talking about the #1 thing you can do to make sure tomorrow is a productive and awesome day. I’m sure you know the importance of a good morning routine. But what you may not know is that a rock-solid morning routine – the kind that kickstarts you and your day for maximum focus and to feel more in control, calm, and like the rockstar that you are…  It doesn’t start where you think.  If you truly want to own your day, you must first own the night before. That’s right.  Hours before you even lay your head on your pillow, your decisions have either set you up for success or they have set you up to fail. Your brain is primed to be the most productive during the first 2-4 hours of the day. That’s why I want you to get serious about how you set yourself up the night before. This episode is packed with research-backed tactics, specific advice, and the four science-backed components of the best evening routine. And this is also one of those tough-love, hit you with the common-sense, friend-to-friend conversations that you know and love from me. Xo Mel  Take my free 5-day challenge – The Wake Up Challenge – to walk you through getting started with these tools: www.melrobbins.com/wakeup. In this episode, you’ll learn: 1:30: Here’s where your morning routine should REALLY begin.2:30: Are you losing your next day by revenge procrastinating?5:00: Here’s what my evenings used to look like. Can you relate?10:00: Not getting out of bed with the first alarm? Here’s what you’re telling yourself every time you hit the snooze.13:40: The way your morning starts is the lead domino for your day.17:00: The secret to having a great morning is this.19:30: Rule #1: The 3-2-1 Method that will help you get a great night’s sleep.21:30: Rule #2: The Mindset Flip. This is how you make your life easier.22:15: I do this at night so I get to the gym in the morning.25:45: Rule #3: Feel way more empowered about your day if you do this.28:15: No more excuses. Do this tonight.30:00: Rule #4: This is where most of us get our mornings wrong.33:30: Flip how you think about the alarm and you’ll shift your whole day.36:40: I feel so strongly about this last hack because you allow the world to steal your attention and you deserve better.39:15: I got a little worked up here, but it’s because I have regrets. For episodes notes and resources, go to melrobbins.com/podcast Disclaimer This podcast is not meant to be a substitute for therapy and is for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is my passion, however, to bring you free and accessible content that can help you change your life for the better.

In this episode, you and I are getting a masterclass on the topic of love. And it’s not what you think.  This is not an episode about relationships – it is an episode about YOUR relationship to love and how you can let more love into your life.  My mission with this episode is to inspire you to stop and consider the profound subject of love, how important it is, and why you deserve to feel more love in your daily life. If you have felt alone or feel like your relationships are on autopilot, this episode is a real gift. I am also excited because as you listen to this episode, I get to introduce you to someone I really love.  He and his wife are very dear friends of ours and he just finished a two-year-long research project on the topic of love.  This friend of mine is also a former monk with a tender heart and a global fanbase.  His sage counsel on life is sought after by celebrities, world leaders, professional athletes, and the most successful artists in the world. I’m talking about none other than my friend, Jay Shetty. He’s the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Think Like a Monk, and his latest book is 8 Rules of Love. Climb into your favorite chair and get ready for a wild ride.  I threw out the talking points from Jay’s PR team and just went for it. I love this episode because Jay delivered.  He gets personal and reveals more about his own experience and mistakes with love than ever before. This is a must listen and a must share. Listen as a family. Listen with friends. Listen as a couple. Listen by yourself. Love is what we need. And hearing two dear friends go deep on the topic will make your heart swell. Even an old dog like me learned a few new tricks about how I can experience more love and be more loving in my life ❤️ Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 3:40: Hear Jay’s 3-part definition of love I’d never heard that is so spot on.4:30: According to research, this is how many hours you need to spend to make a casual friend, a good friend, and a great friend.6:40: Are you doing this with your partner? Jay says that’s not love.8:00: Okay wow, here’s where I realize I’m not doing something for my husband, Chris, that I should be doing.11:15: If your relationship is new, be careful you don’t do this.13:40: Why do we chase relationships in order to feel worthy?18:15: Rule #1 for finding love.19:50: What research shows will happen if you enter a relationship simply because you’re afraid of being alone.21:00: Hear Jay in a rare moment where he talks about his childhood trauma.27:00: Here’s why you keep dating the same kind of person over and over.29:00 One simple exercise you can do today to start building a healthy relationship.31:30: Jay leads us through a powerful meditation.38:15: There are four phases of love: hear them unpacked and explained.40:00:  Dating someone new? Then you need to know about both the “halo effect” and the “context effect.”43:30: Jay’s best piece of advice if you want that new relationship to last.47:00: Here’s Jay’s Rule #4 of love and why it’s my favorite.53:30: Is someone caring for you or controlling you? Here’s how to tell.55:00: What you might be doing in your relationship that’s hurting it.57:30: Here’s what I disagreed with Jay about.59:30: What is the purpose of love in your life? Jay answers. Want to go deeper into the topic of relationships? Listen to the last episode, “I Don’t Usually Share Advice Like This: 6 Lessons on Making Any Relationship Work.”  Disclaimer

In this episode, I’m getting brutally honest with you about relationships.  Our conversation begins with a question from a listener who asked me for advice on how to make your relationship go the distance in this messy modern world. I’ve always shied away from giving relationship advice, mainly because after 26 years of marriage, I know the only secret is this: it takes a lot of consistent work. I also don’t consider myself an “expert” on the topic because our relationship seems to always need attention. It’s so easy to silently retreat to your corners and not address the issues. And there were years where we did just that. In fact, over the past few years, Chris and I have been working through some really heavy issues with a couples therapist. Today I share very personal revelations I’ve had about my own role in causing problems between us. After all we’ve been through, I’m really proud of my husband, Chris, and me for making it this long and doing the work to make it better. In the process of working hard to improve our relationship, I learned six powerful lessons that I felt compelled to share with you. Not because I hold the magic wand, but because I hope these lessons will save you the pain and heartaches I’ve caused myself and my husband. No matter what kind of relationship you might be in, working on, struggling with, or hoping to save, these six lessons will provide a roadmap to make it better. Whether you are married, dating, divorced, happily single, or experiencing a falling out with a friend, this episode will have something for you. About halfway through, another listener asks, “What do I do if my partner doesn’t want to do the work?” In that case, there’s just one rule for when it’s time for you to move on. Oh, one more thing, if you and your partner are having a hard time… Share this episode with them. It’s a simple way to open the door for a much-needed conversation. Xo Mel  In this episode, you’ll learn: 0:30: The one question you often ask that I put off answering for a long time.3:30: Here’s the hard truth you should know about my marriage.6:30: Here’s what I think about “staying in a marriage for the kids”8:30: The concerning relationship trend I see happening.15:00: Would I be better off without my husband?18:15: This is the only way relationships work out.24:30: What I was doing wrong in my own marriage.28:00: 6 pieces of advice for any relationship.37:30: Here’s why the way you react to your partner’s good news matters.43:00: What do you do when your partner isn’t growing with you?   Disclaimer

In this episode, you will learn how to deepen your healing by understanding how your parents may have created silent trauma that is still impacting you as an adult. I want to introduce you to a woman who has had a really big impact on my own healing.  She is the renowned psychologist and #1 New York Times bestselling author, Dr. Nicole LePera, who you may also know as The Holistic Psychologist. Today, Dr. LePera will normalize the common experience of having few memories from childhood. This is something that I struggled with silently. I personally have very few memories from my childhood, and I assumed there was something wrong with me. It was only when I started sharing about this lack of memories online that I realized I wasn’t the only person who can’t reminisce about their past. I now understand why this happens. I also know there is nothing wrong with me. And if you have very few memories from your childhood, there’s nothing wrong with you either. Today, we are digging into parenting styles and how your childhood experiences (whether you remember them or not) are still impacting the way you respond to stress as an adult. The research and tools in this conversation will help you understand not only why it’s so easy to get triggered, but also how to deepen your healing journey now that you do. This is one of those episodes that I also know you will be sending to family, friends, and siblings because there is so much empowering information here. I personally made all three of our kids listen because I both recognize as a daughter how my childhood impacted me – and as a mom, I’m also very aware that my parenting style has impacted my kids. And, Dr. LePera so beautifully teaches us how to take control of the rest of our lives as adults. Xo Mel  PS: After you listen to this one, listen to “Take Control of Your Life: A Toolkit for Healing” if you haven’t yet, because I’m sharing details from the last few years of my healing journey. Plus, there’s a companion workbook to help you go deeper. In this episode, you’ll learn: 3:00: So many of you wrote in about this particular detail of trauma.8:00: Childhood amnesia – What the heck is that?9:30: Here are 3 reasons why you don’t have many childhood memories.11:30: What do psychologists mean by “dysregulated nervous system?”15:00: Introducing my friend and world-renowned psychologist, Dr. Nicole LePera.17:45: What’s an emotionally immature parent and how do you know if you had one?24:30: Two big reasons why your brain shuts down in childhood.28:00: Do you need to remember your past trauma to recognize it in yourself?35:00: What does it look like in real life when you start to heal your nervous system?37:30: Is trauma only for those who’ve lived through a big, horrific event?44:00: Here is why the silent treatment can be harmful. 48:00: Here’s your first tactical step toward healing your body and mind.53:15: Feeling cynical about your own healing process? You need to hear this. Disclaimer If you uncover or have a history of trauma, consider enlisting the support of a trained therapist. This podcast episode and the companion workbook are not meant to be a substitute for therapeutic support.

In this episode, I’m making the topic of trauma easier to understand by taking you step by step through my recent revelation that I was struggling with past trauma. I was one of those people who thought I didn’t have trauma. And you may be like that too. But if you have trouble managing emotions, expressing your feelings, dealing with upset, you go on edge easily, you have trouble focusing, or you struggle with anything like anxiety…. This will be very eye opening. The words “trauma” and “nervous system” are thrown around like candy online. I want to share the profound things that I’ve learned about both topics and how I’ve started to address and heal the trauma in my nervous system. This episode is personal, it’s important, and tactical, and most of all – it’s packed with tools you can start using right now. I hope this episode opens your eyes in the way that it did mine, and makes you not only understand this topic – but yourself a little bit better. And, to go deeper, I have a free 9-page workbook for you that serves as a companion to this episode to help you with your own healing. Just click here to access it.  And, this episode covers sensitive material, including discussion of trauma and sexual assault. If this topic isn’t for you right now – please skip this episode. Xo Mel  In this episode, you’ll learn: 0:58: This episode is one of the most important I’ve ever created because of the powerful impact these learnings have had on my life. It will be the same for you.7:40: What is trauma anyway?8:40: Do you recognize yourself in these signs of past trauma?10:00: Getting honest: my personal story.21:15: What happens to me when I hear the sound of crunchy snow (and how this applies to you).24:00: Do you have to remember trauma to heal from it?30:30: If I have little-T trauma, does that mean my parents are to blame?34:40: This is what your nervous system is (and it’s not what I used to think).43:15: Here’s why your triggers were helpful then and why they’re not now.50:00: How can you get yourself out of survival mode and start to focus again?54:00: The difference between your two nervous systems.56:30: Six takeaways to help you switch from fight or flight to rest and recovery Disclaimer If you uncover or have a history of trauma, consider enlisting the support of a trained therapist. This podcast episode and the companion workbook are not meant to be a substitute for therapeutic support.

In this episode, you’ll learn how to use simple neuroscience to train your mind to start working for you. The research, tools, and strategies you’ll learn in this episode are from an experience I created and taught to more than 250,000 students called “Mindset Reset.” The fact is, your mindset is critical to your happiness, success, relationships, and fulfillment. Listen to today’s episode and you’ll learn how to train your mind using this easy, science-backed method. By the end of this episode, you’ll know how to use an amazing filter in your brain to reset your mindset. This episode is also packed with takeaways and insights you can apply to your life and one surprisingly fun “brain game” you can play every day (even with your kids) to actively program a more powerful mindset. I can’t wait to share this with you and for you to apply it to your life and share it with the people who matter to you most. Xo Mel For full show notes, including all research mentioned in the episode, go to melrobbins.com/podcast. This episode, you’ll learn:4:15: What does “mindset” even mean?9:00: The truth about why mindset matters.10:00: Is this just toxic positivity?16:30: Your brain has a filter. And if you’re not programming it, it’s probably working against you.26:00: How to beat self-doubt.31:00: Why you’re not meeting that special someone.37:00: The fun and simple brain game I play with my daughters.47:45: What to do when your thoughts and mindset spiral into the negative.55:00: I want this for you.   Disclaimer