Welcome to Armchair August! We're surprising Em with the theme they demanded and then forgot about. They got a little tangled in their own puppet strings but don't worry, Em's just the puppet master and really the puppets are playing Em. And we were blown away by all of your armchair stories! We hear from folks who saw faceless men who froze to death glaring from their Lay-Z-Boy, had their sheets caught in an armchair full of ghostly withered arms, had yearly lucid dreams of embroidered armchairs and dangerous scarecrow men on Halloween, and even had their lives saved by an outdoor rocking armchair! Should we keep it going with Ottoman Autumn? ...and that's why we drink! Don't forget to get tickets to our 2nd Annual Cryptids Unscripted Poetry Slam and Charity Auction! momenthouse.com/cryptidsunscripted Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's episode 286 and we were both very brave today! This week Em brings us the lore of the Devil's Tramping Ground in North Carolina. Is it the place where Satan paces every night or is it the worn out path of a working mill donkey? We go through all of the possibilities! Then Christine covers a chilling tale of kidnapping and con-men in the story of Nicholas Barclay. And lastly, what would be on your Bumble BFF reading list? ...and that's why we drink! Don't miss our 2nd Annual Cryptids Unscripted Poetry Slam and Charity Auction! Get your tickets here: momenthouse.com/cryptidsunscripted Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to episode 285, where Christine is changing diapers by lantern light! This week Em does a double feature rodent cryptid round up with the tales of the Afanc and the Lavellan. Then Christine covers the tragic and redemptive story of Lisa McVey. And are all cryptids queer? And that's why we drink! Don't forget to get tickets to our 2nd Annual Cryptids Unscripted Poetry Slam and Charity Auction! momenthouse.com/cryptidsunscripted Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to episode 284, where we have some dangerous banter wiggle room! This week, we're embarrassed we didn't know about Em's topic, the ginger biscuit-loving Tizzie Whizie. Then Christine brings us the second half of the tragic Oklahoma Girl Scout murders. And we'll leave you with this parting thought: if ghosts could time travel, would they watch us pick our wedgies? ...and that's why we drink! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's episode 283 and Christine has stopped sleep-honking! Join us for another round of Brazilian alien encounters with the Mirassol Abductions, brought to you by Em's Google translating skills. Then Christine brings us a topic she's been emotionally preparing for: the Oklahoma Girl Scout murders. In an attempt to lift the mood, we also discover both Christine and Eva were kicked out of their Brownies troops... and that's why we drink! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's episode 282, a perfectly chaotic episode, and let's just not reject Em in their own gay bathroom, OK? First Em covers the Maringa Abduction aka the AGRIPO Experiment. Then, she made Xiinön and she made the breast milk that's currently still in the podcast apartment: Christine steps up to the plate! She brings us the wild story of Belle Siddons aka Madame Vestal who truly knew how to con a man. It's also a story that has us pondering if we're charm school success stories... and that's why we drink! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are we holding a grudge against July? Maybe! Can Leona sense Em's sandwich vibes from across the country? Definitely! Has Evil Eva redeemed herself from her month full of scorpios? We'll see! What we can confirm is that we've got some creepy ghost and true crime stories including one with the killer subject line, "Two Lesbians and a Ghost Walk Into a Bar". We also hear about a possessed DVD player, a suspicious Facebook unfriending that wasn't an unfriending at all, and a lost child who found a demonic portal in an Ohio bookstore. Lastly, Yale called and they want their mascot back. Regrettably,And That's Why We Drink! PS. Be sure to check out the amazing candle company Em and Christine mentioned, Lavender Amethyst Co! You can find them at lavenderamethystco.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's episode 281 and celery vases are so out but celery plates are in! First Em dishes it out with their story on the Emlen Physick Estate in Cape May, adding a personal twist as well as a deep dive into the history of the high end Victorian celery market. Then Christine covers the notorious cold case, the Springfield Three. And if anyone has a lead on a celery vase from the Titanic, please hit us up... and that's why we drink! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

An exorcist, a medium and a priest walk into a bar... it's episode 280 and we've got the paranormal goods for ya! This week, Em dives back into their story on the Becker family and the first televised exorcism, closing out this creepy two-parter. Then Christine takes us to, you heard us right, Grubville, Missouri to cover Bertha Gifford, Missouri's first serial killer. Don't worry, we've already brainstormed multiple business ideas for if we ever lived in Grubville. And do you hear any EVPs in our podcast? How about EVAs? ...and that's why we drink! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

No AC? No worries! This week, in episode 279, the ghosts will keep you cold. Today Em brings us the tale of the Becker family haunting aka the first televised exorcism. Then Christine covers a big one with the story of Richard Chase, also known as the vampire of Sacramento. We've also got some birthday updates that spill over into our Patreon after chats. And always, please remember the important parable: if you give a man a birthday card, the end... and that's why we drink! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's our birthday episode and Christine's podcast room might be turning into Jumanji?! Please hold for Blaise to come save us from multiple bugs. First Em covers a ghost story with a feminist twist, Alma Fielding and the Croyden poltergeist. Then Christine covers the gut-wrenching tale of Cletus Hehmz and the kidnapping of Chloe Fisherman. We also get a sneak peek into the discovery of an entirely new cryptid: Penne a la Gnome... and that's why we drink! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's birthday season, we're feeling ghoulish and we're here for some feral chaos! This month for our birthdays Eva went all out with a wild and irreverent theme: armchairs. We're just kidding but step aside, Geminis, Scorpios have the floor today and are cursing this birthday month. Also, should we put out some new meatball themed merch and call it "gabaghoul"? Lastly, please do send us all your armchair themed scary stories... and that's why we drink! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Get ready because episode 277 is chock full of paranormal postpartum anxiety and a real cryptid "will they/won't they"! First Em covers a cryptid known to look just like a pair of pants going for a national park stroll, the Fresno Nightcrawler. Then Christine turns the tables and decides to cover a local Kentucky alien encounter in the Mantell UFO Incident. And this is the last episode before our birthdays, so bye, Em will see you in their 30s... and that's why we drink! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's episode 276 and our sanity has finally flatlined! Also, Wyoming, we love you and we see you. And might have forgotten all the other states that start with W just because we were asked to list them. This week Em covers the wild hauntings of the Wyoming Frontier Prison. Then Christine tells the gut-wrenching story of the murder of Lucille Johnson aka the Lego Murder. And lastly, go buy tickets to the Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet live show - if they sell out, Alexander promised Christine could buy the American Girl doll who matches her, trashy-classy headband and all... and that's why we drink! Buy tickets here! https://www.beachtoosandy.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's episode 275 and we've got some coffin candle updates! This week Em takes us to the homeland of our pal CK (who we recently met in person for the first time!), Scotland, for the tale of the Glamis Castle, which involves some very haunting non-secrets. Then Christine covers the paranormal true crime case of Teresita Basa, or the woman who solved her own murder. And tune in to find out how Canada did Em dirty... and that's why we drink! Ps. We're so sorry for the technical difficulties on YouTube! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In episode 274, Em learns science again and teaches us all about the Stone Tape (not Stone Soup) Theory, which attempts to explain how hauntings work. Meanwhile, Christine covers the 1976 Chowchilla Kidnapping, AKA the largest mass-kidnapping in US history. Listen… All we know is we’ll be celebrating Edward Ray Day around here from now on. And don’t forget - everybody needs a thneed… and that’s why we drink! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's episode 273 and we're having a Missouri moment! First Em takes us to the Missouri State Penitentiary, also known as the bloodiest 47 acres in America. Then Christine tells us the wild story of Milton Sharp, the inconvenient outlaw, who we've dubbed the fully inconvenienced outlaw. And if you need a code word today might we suggest: horselawn... and that's why we drink! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Stop, drop and roll, everyone, it's almost our birthdays! We've all got a month to prepare. Today we're reading your stories of tarot card coincidences in our favorite mountain city, not-quite-psychic dreams, and a terrifying home invasion tale. Not to mention a Ghost Adventures plug at an EDM concert. We've also got some primo Coffey content... and that's why we drink! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's episode 272 and the ice worms are back again... join us on a wild journey as Em takes us to the forests of northern Pennsylvania to cover the much-requested, very teary-eyed cryptid, the Squonk. Then Christine covers a topic Em forgot they requested: Hybristophilia and the people who fall in love with serial killers. And is the Squonk and their tear-salted footprints related to America's Hircine Shifter? ...and that's why we drink! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happy Easter! Did you know the best way to praise Jesus is to sing Leona Lewis's Bleeding Love to him at a sleepover? Em's childhood self might object... This week, in episode 271, Em is also bringing us an interesting topic in light of Easter: the story of Barbro Karlén, a Swedish writer, mounted police officer and notable believer in past lives as she believes she was Anne Frank in a previous life. Then Christine brings us the chilling and tragic disappearance of Canadian teen Mekayla Bali. And tune in next time to see if Em's sleep self hid Easter surprises in their own apartment... and that's why we drink! If you have any information on Mekayla Bali's potential whereabouts, please email [email protected] or call 1-306-641-9436.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's episode 270 and "hesitantly on board" is our M-O! First Em covers a story that sounds vaguely familiar (and Christine uncovers the truth later in the episode), the Palmer House Hotel in Minnesota. Then Christine brings us the second in her two part series on the Chess Board killer, Alexander Pichushkin. And don't forget to check out our new show Rituals on Spotify! Maybe it will even get you into cat tarot as much as it has Christine... and that's why we drink! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to episode 269, where we happen to know a lot about applesauce. This week Em takes us out west to the Twin Bridges Orphanage, which almost became the Montana Cowboy Hall of Fame. Then Christine brings us the first in a two-part series on Alexander Pichushkin, the Chess Board Killer. It turns out "all maniacs want to talk"... and that's why we drink! More information on places to donate to help the crisis in Ukraine:  Save the Children https://www.savethechildren.org  ShelterBox https://www.shelterboxusa.org Humane Society International https://www.hsi.org Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet, where we read the spookiest stories in the most dramatic fashion! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's episode 268 and Em's been practicing their sea shanties for Christine! This week Em takes us to Guthrie, Oklahoma for the story of the Stone Lion Inn. We learn the importance of FaceTime in ghost hunts and Christine relives a very specific experience with a steakhouse on a road trip through Oklahoma. Then we take a turn and head to Hungary for the true crime tale of the Angel Makers of Nagyrév. And can any Oklahomans out there explain Saltine cracker bread baskets for us? And that's why we drink! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to episode 267 aka the Christine Schiefer Show! Where Em can't hear the mixer sound effects so it's all up to Christine. We also dive into quite a bit of tub talk, we apologize in advance. This week Em continues with their break from ghost stories to tell us the tale of Anansi's Goatman from Huntsville, Alabama (also where we discovered Eva's love of all things outer space). Then Christine shares the tragic and gruesome story of Ramsay Scrivo. We recommend making yourself a spiked Emothy Sunrise after this episode... and that's why we drink! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The other shoe just dropped... onto Christine's mixer and we've discovered some great sound effects! Join us for some audio adventures in episode 266 as well as a super fun topic Em definitely downplayed, the history of Ouija boards! Then Christine covers a story Em dubs "the opponent of cool", the wild story of Nikko Jenkins. And stay tuned for your weekly update on the breast milk Christine left in the fridge at the ATWWD apartment... and that's why we drink! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happy Twosday! Em's celebrating by sending themself the most precious gift from the past and teaching us all a lesson in self care. They're also bringing us a mind-bending, alien-related topic today in the Fermi Paradox. Are we the most advanced beings in the universe or are we the hillbillies of the universe? Grab your wine (and wine colored shirts in case of spills), because we're pretty sure it's the latter. Then Christine covers the second in her two-part series on the horrifically abusive Élan School. And tag us if you accept Em's challenge and treat yourself to something nice! ...and that's why we eat chocolate covered strawberries we scheduled to have sent to us months ago! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Pisces season! We're all half a fool here, especially little Leona on her almost half birthday. Join us this month for a rolicking spooky time with stories that include the near alien abduction of some traipsing teens, a life-saving omen from Jennifer Love Hewitt and a couple of Swiss witch journalists who sent us audio proof of their podcast haunting. Also, are we cosmically boring? ...and that's why we drink! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to episode 264 where we're using our newfound noodles to bring you this week's spooky stories! First Em takes us way out into the woods to cover the terrifying urban legend of staircases in the middle of the woods that lead to nowhere. Then Christine brings us the first in a two-part series on the disturbing Élan School. And if anyone knows where we can find a haunted Barbie dream house, let us know... and that's why we drink! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's an EVP again? It's episode 263 and the ghosts just have a few questions about the ghost hunting equipment. This week Em takes us to North Carolina to cover the story of the haunted house known as Korner's Folly. Then Christine covers the tragic disappearance and murder of Joyce Chiang in the Washington, D.C. area. And lastly, Christine is seeking a new best friend who WILL keep their shared TV shows sacred... and that's why we drink! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

She's baaaaa-aaaaack! Our favorite trashy-classy goddess has returned from her parental leave and we're clocking a 1000/10 on the numerology attitude chart! To mark the occasion, Em takes us on a journey from dumpster fires to deities and reads all of our numerology charts, including Leona's, then gives us the history of numerology itself. Then Christine covers the disappearance of Patti Adkins and we learn that the jig is up, not the gig. And be sure to look out for visitors from beyond... Burbank... and that's why we drink! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to episode 261, the last episode before we get Christine back for good! And who better to close out Christine's parental leave than Leona's other parent... Blaise! This week Em tells Blaise a story close to his Connecticut hometown heart with the tale of the Curtis House Inn aka the 1754 House, and the least unhinged ghosts Em has ever reported on. Then Blaise answers a question Em and Christine asked ages ago and covers the wild story of Olympic athlete turned true crime tale Oscar Pistorius. And let us know how many minor league baseball hat costume changes you count this episode? ...and that's why we drink! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Every cup has a story, so please compliment our under-recognized mug collections! Especially because it's Christine's first episode back! We're so thrilled to kick off Christine's return with your creepy stories, so tune in for everything from a grandpa who deposits a head in a bucket at a Canadian police station to a non-binary ghost named Em. And don't forget to show us your sloth selfies... and that's why we scream! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's episode 260 and the human race is in peril once again! Please welcome the closer of our Wine and Crime guest host series, Amanda! First, Em covers a story close to Minnesota (but not quite close enough) with the story of Wisconsin's Old Baraboo Inn, not to be confused with Caribou Coffee. But if anyone out there is at a Caribou in Baraboo right now, please let us know. Then Amanda covers the case of Teresita Basa, a story that's part true crime, part paranormal, and totally right up our alley aka none of us would have any qualms haunting anyone's partner to solve a murder. And did Hannah Montana set unreasonable expectations for what touring looks like? ...and that's why we drink! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's episode 259 and we have the second in our series of Wine and Crime co-hosts with Lucy! This week we cover a lot of bases (pun intended) as Lucy brings us the truly wild tale of Ten Cent Beer night, one of the most "notable brawls in baseball history". Then Em brings us the story of a spirit determined to haunt your lawnmower, Pete the Poltergeist. And if you're in the Des Moines area, go get the daily special for us at Lucy's restaurant Lachele's Fine Foods! ...and that's why we drink! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to episode 258, boozers, shakers and Wine & Crime Coven! We're so grateful to kick off our last month of Christine's parental leave with the Wine & Crime gals, starting with Kenyon! First, Em covers a story close to Kenyon's past with the haunted Castle of Good Hope. Then Kenyon brings us the notorious tale of Lavinia Fisher and the Old Charleston Jail. And P.S. if Timmy gives you a bouncy ball, you just might have given your soul to Timmy... and that's why we drink! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to episode 257 where we deep dive into all of our hyper-fixations! Most importantly, for Xandy's last episode we have not one, but two lighthouse stories for you. First Em tells the spooky tales of haunted Point Lookout Lighthouse in Scotland, Maryland. Then Xandy takes us across the pond to the country of Scotland for a murder case in Little Ross Island Lighthouse. And don't worry, the Funcles will reunite at some point in the future, so stay tuned... and that's why we drink! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happy New Year! It's episode 256 and we're not judging any vegans today but we certainly are judging anyone who loves candy corn as much as Xandy. Buckle up as Em finally takes us to Savannah with the story of the Olde Pink House and some bricks that just wanted, in their soul, to be pink. Then Xandy covers a true crime case he first heard sung about in German by his father, the case of Fritz Haarmann aka the Butcher of Hanover. And please leave our peanuts alone... and that's why we drink!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happy Neutral New Year, everyone! We're trying to keep it low key in terms of expectations for this year considering some of our last predictions... but we are here to read your incredible, spooky stories, as always! Buckle up for some theme-less tales of a haunted Pokémon cartridge, theater ghost lights and a budget ATWWD Immortal Portal poem/song. Stay classy garbage with us in 2022... and that's why we drink! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Christmastime is here... and so is the original cork-toothed pirate, the unhinged Shifter herself, CHRISTINE! What more perfect time to have an intermission in her parental leave than for the holidays. Don't worry, we sing both of our traditional Thanksgiving and Christmas songs to make up for lost time. Then Em covers the Dwight Schrute approved "dirty, worse Santa", Belsnickel. And speaking of Santa, Christine brings us a hilarious, scary and wild set of stories about Santa crimes. And did Christine eat walnuts out of her father's old boot? Tune in to find out! That's definitely why we drink! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're going wild with "fun" facts today for episode 254, from Runescape to shoe buckles to the last woman hanged in New York State! For Xandy's second episode, Em covers the second part in their two-part series on the local lore of the Bunnyman Bridge. Then Xandy takes us time traveling through old newspapers and the case of Bathsheba Spooner, the first woman executed by the U.S. government. And please tell us if you know of any pokemon card related heists... and that's why we drink! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Who's guest hosting episode 253? Well, let's just say, it's very high and he doesn't like ladders... it's Uncle Xandy! We have the sorry fool who shares blood with America's Hircine Shifter here to tell us a true crime tale from his family's German hometown. But first Em brings us part one in a series on a personal urban legend from their own hometown: The Bunnyman Bridge of Virginia. Then Xandy covers serial killer Jürgen Bartsch and talks way more about castration than he planned. And thankfully we can confirm that Christine hangs curtains better than the Bunnyman... and that's why we drink! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Meet us at the floating ghost beer, because it's episode 252 and we're still at the haunted bar! Em finishes their two-part series on the Glen Tavern Inn and the Phillip Experiment that was done there to create a fake (or psychically real?) ghost. Then Eva takes us on a wild heist with French Adventuress Jeanne de Valois-Saint-Rémy aka self proclaimed Comtesse de La Motte, and the Affair of the Diamond Necklace she masterminded and inadvertently helped kick start the French Revolution. Join us for the hottest tea of the week and our very bad French accents... and that's why we drink! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Christmastime is here! Join Em wrapped in Christmas lights and Allison for some spiked hot chocolate with peppermint schnapps and wilted whipped cream! We cover all things holiday from haunted snow globes to potentially sitting on the lap of a murderous mall Santa. We also have one of five of Em's menches on benches and some funky fresh ice cubes... and that's why we drink!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's episode 251 and we've got our carb enhancing oil ready! Em starts the first in their two part series on the hauntings of the Glen Tavern Inn of Santa Paula, California. Then Eva takes us to a wealthy suburb of Sacramento for the wildly traumatic case of Susan Hamlin and a fabricated satanic cult. Also, be sure to take your mad scientist themed Halloween light switch covers out of your passenger side doors otherwise they might terrify you on a casual morning drive... and that's why we drink!   Huge shout out again to Ellen Tremiti for her stellar research and notes! You can find Ellen @etphoneh on socials as well as her latest short story in Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we're going rogue to robe and hosting bread candle seances, folks! It's Eva's second episode and we're talking paranormal, true crime and AAAHH!!! Real Monsters as humans. First Em pays homage to our 250th episode with a little numerology, then tells the oldest ghost tale they could find aka the Glenluce Devil. Then Eva covers the wild case of the Pillow Pyro. And did we meet great grandpappy Gilbert Bagelbites this week?? If we did, that's certainly why we drink!    Big shout out to writer and Trial Crewer Ellen Tremiti for contributing her fantastic research! You can find her @etphoneh on socials as well as her latest short story in Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome, Leona! It's Christine's parental leave, so we're inviting people close to her on the show to guest host until she's back. This week we welcome Inspector Gross... we mean Eva! Em covers the Haunting of Elizabeth Knapp, a wild tale of potential possession and witchcraft only 20 years before the Salem Witch Trials. Then Eva decides to extend Halloween with the Trick or Treat murder, also known as the "bizarre lesbian murder scandal that rocked 1950s LA". We also may be working on a demonic sleep app... and that's why we drink! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Does labor feel like being shot in the stomach? Tune in to Christine's last episode before Leona's arrival!! Em finishes their series on the Perron Family of the real life events behind the Conjuring movie. Then, big trigger warning, because Christine covers a German serial killer so gruesome we're not really sure what to do with ourselves, so Em tries to take the slightest bit of solace in listening to Christine speak German... and that's why we drink!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices