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You ruined everything You stupid, stupid bitch
on this episode of the Commercial Break.
Why do I have a feeling all these ladies are currently on Nextdoor?
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.
Oh yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break.I'm Brian Green, this is my dear friend and the co-host of this incredibly dumb podcast, Chris DeJoy-Hoadley.Best to you, Chris.
And best to you out there in the podcast universe.How are you?Thank you for joining us, the two of us, here with you again for the 55th time this week.Nice to hear from you.
We're here just for a brief moment before I venture off into the best sleep I've ever had.We had a friend who had this surgery.
The same surgery that you're getting?
Yeah, it's actually funny because now that we have been talking about this, my wife and I, we have one family member and a couple of friends.One had the surgery, a friend we know directly, and one's friend's mother had the surgery.Really?Yes.
And they said what a huge relief the recovery was, like almost a complete reversal of symptoms in general, like 100%.And I was like, God bless America.I no longer have an excuse to take a nap.So I'm going to get it while I can.
I'll take a nice nap today.I'll tell Astrid how it's hired.
I'm filled with calcium.My uppercalcemia's got me, babe.Gotta take a nap.
And she'll feel for me and she'll go, okay, you go nap and I'll take care of the kids.I'm so sorry.I can't help you.I really want to be there for you and the kids, but it's my condition.
It's got the best of me.You need some local medicine.
Yes.I'll tell our network.I'm sorry about all those best ofs, but it's my condition. And so I kind of feel shitty, because I'll no longer have that excuse.But hey, whatever, I'll... You'll feel better.I'll feel better.I'll feel better in general.
So there I go, off to Na-Na Land.But anyway, so I was talking to this guy that I know. And, um, he's not like me.He's not probably as sensitive as I am to every little whim of my own body.You know, he's not probably as neurotic as I am about it.
And he's like a man's man, you know, like a big burly man's man.And so I'm like, Hey, so anyway, we go to this kid's thing for Halloween and my wife is talking to his wife. And they're off like, I don't know, 15 feet away from us.
And all of a sudden Astrid starts waving her hands furiously, like one of our kids had run out in the street or something.And I'm like, what?And she's like, he had it.He had the surgery.And she's like pointing to his neck.And I'm like, who's choking?
And she's like, no, the surgery. And so I'm like, oh, hey, man, you had the surgery?And he's like, what surgery?And I go, oh, the parathyroid surgery.He's like, oh, yeah, a couple years ago.I don't know.I was feeling shitty.
And I got a couple of high calcium readings and they sent me to the doctor and I got it removed.And I have like a tumor and I got it removed.And I was like, no shit.I got it, too.And he's like, yeah, yeah, cool, cool.And I'm like, OK, cool, cool.
Like, cool, cool.Like, all right.What does that mean?You know, tell me a little bit.
Tell me everything.I'm like a woman.I'm like, tell me everything.I want to know who the doctor was.What was he wearing?What were you wearing? Was it sunny or cloudy outside?How did you get there?What did you have for breakfast?
Speaking of wearing, do you have your recovery outfit that you're going to be wearing?Your comfy?
Oh, I do.Your jammies?No, I've got a G-string, a banana hammock.
Whatever makes you comfortable.Whatever's your comfy attire.
If you're going to cut my neck open, you've got to be comfortable with one of my balls hanging out of the frock.You know what I'm saying?
I'm a crazy old man filled with calcium.What do you want me to do?
Yeah, I figure I'm gonna bring a pair of jam jams like a sweatpants.Yeah, you know sweatpants and a t-shirt That's that's kind of the outfit.I always wear anyway Jeans and a t-shirt sweatpants and a t-shirt
So I say to the guy, so now I'm so excited to know another person, like it's not a commonly diagnosed thing, you know, 100,000 people in the United States.It's certainly a lot more common than other very rare diseases, but it's not exactly common.
Well, and it's only just in the past, what, 20 years?
That they've discovered that this was a thing.
Yeah, you know, I read the other day that there may be a connection between fibromyalgia in women and this condition, which would make a lot of sense.
Aches and pains, you can't explain, fatigue, depression, anxiety, a lot of the stuff that people are commonly treated with, like narcotic pain medication, because they just don't know what it is.
It's like this general term for unspecified pain in your body.And now some doctors are starting to study the connection between hyperparathyroidism
Yeah, that definitely should be studied.
Yeah, I agree.It does make sense.Because I had a doctor one time tell me, sounds like you're describing the symptoms of fibromyalgia.And he goes, and no, it's not as common in men, it does happen.And I was like, well, what is that?
And he's like, well, we don't really know.I'm like, oh, that's great.Thanks, I appreciate that.Anyway, so I'm like, dude, tell me all about it, bro.How'd you feel?What were you feeling?What were your levels?What were your numbers?How are you doing?
Give me all the skinny. And he's like, I don't know.I don't know.I went in and they told me I had high calcium.I got it removed.I don't know.
I don't know much more than that.
So now I go back and I tell my wife and I'm like, oh, it's kind of disappointing, though, because I didn't really get a lot out of him.He was just kind of like, yeah, you know, I had it.Then I didn't have it.
And I guess whatever, you know, and I was like, so I was hoping that he would say, I felt terrible.Things were shitty.I was, you know, feeling anxious and sleepy and depressed and all this other stuff.And then, you know, brain fog, headaches.
And then all of a sudden, snippety-snap, I felt so much better.He never said any of those things.But one thing he did say, is that I thought was funny is he goes, yeah, you know, I'm just, I work in this industry.It's kind of 24 hours.
We can be here and there and everywhere.He works in the movie business and he's like, so we can have long hours.We work days at a time and whatever he goes.So I'm always, and I've kid, I've a kid, I'm always feeling tired.
So I, I always felt like I was just tired anyway.He goes, but I will tell you what I had the best sleep of my life when they put me under the knife.And I go, really?And he goes, it was the best sleep of my life.He goes, it was amazing.
I woke up and for like three weeks I felt so much more energetic.
And I go to myself, you don't think that has anything to do with the actual reversal of your symptoms?
He missed it, he missed the point.And I was like, dude, Oh, there's one of my kids right now.She's so tired.Jet lag has got her.She was up at 3.30 this morning.I just never went back to sleep.
I took her to school and she was like, the 10 minute ride to school.She fell asleep.And so I go, dude, you missed it.I was thinking to myself, you missed it.That wasn't the best sleep of your life.
That was a reversal of some symptoms you had been experiencing for a long time.
And but everyone to a T has said that everyone that we've spoken with that has had known people who've had this or had it directly, they've all said that that the reversal of symptoms is just amazing.
Like they felt better days or weeks or at the most a month later.Yeah.And so I'm very optimistic that I will feel much better.Me too. Yeah, that's it.
So I go to the cardiologist yesterday because part of this is like, go to see the cardiologist, make sure there's no calcium buildup in any of your arteries or valves or whatever.I don't know.
This all started because I felt like I was having a heart attack one day.So they wanted me to go see a cardiologist just to make sure that nothing was going on.
So, you know, three months later I decide to go to the cardiologist and I show up and it's a cardiologist.Listen, it's a guy who is a cardiologist.
You would expect him, you would expect a cardiologist to kind of be a no-nonsense, has zero sense of humor, total nerd, skinny as a mini, like has never eaten a piece of fat in his life because he's a cardiologist.He knows what that shit does to him.
That's exactly what walked in the door. A 31 year old, 32 year old man.I mean, he must've weighed a hundred pounds, sopping wet.He was so fucking skinny.And he was just like, I was trying to add a little color into the conversation.
And he was just like typing away. He goes, I'm gonna get your history and then I'm gonna talk about what's going on and then I'm gonna review your EKG and then we're gonna decide what to do next.Sound good?Yes.Okay.Let's start with your history.
Mom, dad, you know, the whole thing.Married, divorced, any stressors in your life?Recreational drug use?I got no, I wish. And he looks over and and then he starts talking away.
So no drug use and And then he goes never any drug use and I go well never that's a big word and I go not recently But I mean last decade maybe I consider myself relatively sober, you know, and he goes and before that I
And I'm like, you didn't get that joke?Like, you know, all right, okay.I could just tell I was dealing with someone who's not gonna get it.So I was like, yeah, I mean, I worked in the restaurant business for a long time.
I like preface it by saying, I worked in the restaurant business for a long time.And he goes, so, what drugs have you done?Like, just give me, you know, a pot. And I go pot.Yeah.Pot.Coke.Ecstasy.LSD.Mushrooms.Ayahuasca.PCP.Crystal meth.
And he's looking at me and he's like typing and then he's like slowly turning his head.And he's like, because of the restaurant industry?And I go, kind of, yeah.I mean, kind of, yeah.I go, listen, long nights, you party afterwards.
He goes, okay, I'm just going to put pot.And I was like, all right, fine, whatever. I don't know if he's doing that for, you know, so I don't know.So I get life insurance at some point or something.
And then he's like, so tell me about your lifestyle now.And I go, well, I don't know if I call it a lifestyle doc, more of just, I'm plotting through life, trying to make things work.And you know, again, he just looks at me and he's like, smoker.
And I'm no former smoker.Yes.Okay.Uh, you know, how would you consider your diet?And I go, well, uh, Again, I don't know if you really call it a diet, Doc.
I think it's like, you know, at times, months-long binges on cream and cereal, you know, blah, blah, blah.And he's like, cream and cereal?
And he goes like, whipping cream?And I go, no, no, no, like half and half.And he's like, the kind you put in coffee? And he goes, are these flavored?Are you drinking, like, coffee, Nate?And I go, no, no, no, no.Just regular old half and half.I know.
And he goes, and you're filling the whole bowl like you would a regular bowl of cereal?And I go, yep. And he's like, okay, and he goes, and how many times a week do you eat out?And I go, I have 73 children, doc.I don't ever eat out.
He goes, Okay, that's good.That's good.Because all your all he goes to the restaurant foods are filled with fat and salt.That's just a fact.And I was like, Okay, all right, whatever.And he's like, and how's your diet?
Otherwise, do you eat lots of red meats, lots of vegetables, lots of fruits?What do you go for in a normal day? And I go, I go for whatever's in front of me, whatever has been caught, whatever I can grab.
I go, it's usually some kind of flavored pretzel or cookie.I don't know, Doc, I'm not very, I don't pay attention much, you know, to my diet.And I go, I know I should be better, but I'm not.And he goes, okay, all right, all right.
So I just kind of like a regular American diet.That's what he goes, a regular American diet. And I go, yeah.And he goes, have you eaten a lot of fatty foods in the last three to four months?I go, I just got back from Spain, doc.
And all I ate was Iberico ham, which is basically like uncooked bacon, but twice as fatty.I'm like, it's really fucking good.Oh, yes.I know about Iberico ham.Okay.That's not good for you.And I go, yeah, I know.
So he types in all this into a calculator and then he goes, okay, based on my assessment here and results and former results, you know, results from the last couple of years and all that, I'm putting your score at a 2.12% of having a heart attack, a major heart attack or a stroke in the next 10 years.
And I go, oh, I go like this.I go, yeah, that's good.And he goes, not really. And I go, it's not?I mean, I'd take those odds all day long if I was going to the casino.
And he's like, well, we're not betting on, we're not making, we're not betting money, we're betting your life.And I'm like, okay, don't be so dramatic.I get it, all right.So I'm gonna die of something, right?
And he goes, I'd like to see that closer to a one.And I was like, okay.He's like, so we're gonna pull some knobs here and do some dials there and dah, dah, dah, dah, dah.And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, great, wonderful.And he goes, an exercise?
And I go, ah, what? What's that like?Tell me more about that.How do you do that, Doc?When do you find the free time for that?
And I said, listen, I'd love to run, but I have, you know, running takes a long time, takes an hour at least, the kind of running that I do, because I run at two miles per hour.I go, listen, it's just, it's so much.
He's like, but running is good for your cardiovascular system.Maybe not good on your bones, but cardiovascular system.I said, okay, all right, all right. He goes, listen, I'm going to take one more EKG from you just so we have a match and a match.
He goes, we have one at the beginning, one at the end, make sure we get a little snapshot here.I'm going to do one more EKG from you and then tells me some things to do.
And he goes, and then I'll see you after your surgery, a couple months after your surgery, I want to see you.And we're going to do another echocardiogram.And I was like, echocardiogram?Isn't that something from Ghostbusters?
Did they have an echocardiogram there or something?
The echo plasma machine, the echolator or the ecoblaster or whatever.
Okay.So the first EKG that I did at the beginning was a relatively simple EKG.And if you know what I mean by this, they take like 12 nodes and they have relatively unsticky pads.They put them around your heart, two on your arms, two on your belly.
And then it's literally like two seconds.It's a two second snapshot. But now they're going to do like a real EKG where they take the incredibly sticky pads and they put them all over your chest and your arms.
And then, and I think they put one on my ankle or two on my ankle or something, and then they're going to like really get a good snapshot of this. I have to tell you, I'm not afraid of needles.I'm not afraid of medications.
I'm not afraid of anything that goes on at a doctor's office, except for having your throat sliced open, but luckily I'll be asleep for that one.I'm really not afraid.Go ahead and do it.There's one thing I'm afraid of.
It's those damn sticky pads for the EKGs. Yeah, because of the hair on my chest.Yes.I'm the world's hairiest man.Yes.I mean, I trim it, but it's, it rips it off.It literally rips it off.And, and there's no nice way to do it.You just got to go for it.
And it hurts like a son of a bitch.And every time that I go and get this done, I can only think of that scene out of 40 year old virgin. where Steve Carell gets waxed and how that really happened.Like he really did that.
There was no fakery about that.He really did that in his reactions were the reactions in the moment that you saw on camera when he yelled Kelly Clarkson or whatever he yelled, right?That is what actually happened.It's incredible.Sorry about that.
I just muted myself.I was sick of myself talking.So I muted myself. That's incredibly painful.That led me down the road to realizing that women get this done.
I was gonna say that's exactly what women get done all the time, and at their pubic area.
And their anuses, like pubic and anuses.How do y'all deal with that?I do not know. I had a girlfriend once, my very first very serious girlfriend, Brooke.I love her.I don't know if she listens to the show.
I mean, we're still in contact, but I don't know if she listens to the show.But if she does, I love you.And I always loved you.And I'll always love you, because we never forget your first, you know?It's just one of those things.
I'm not like in love with her, but you know, you'll always love that.
A love.That's right.Thank you, Chrissy.I'm about to get divorced, so thank you.That's probably throwing shit in the car right now.Driving as fast as you can to come home and present me divorce papers. You know what I'm saying.
But Brooke used to try to pluck my eyebrows.And I could never get through just one eye plucking because eyebrow plucking because it hurt so fucking bad.I hated the way that that felt.
And she always thought it was funny to try and pin me down and pluck my eyebrows.
And I always thought it was a terrible torture device that she was using to tell me that she wanted to break up with me without telling me she wanted to break up with me.
And it's just like all those things having hair plucked out of any part of my body is a terrible feeling and I don't know how y'all do it.How many times a year do you have to get waxed?
Oh, well, I mean if you just want to stay on top of things you want to do it like every month.
Every month?Yes.I thought when you waxed it was like you stayed that way for like a year.No.What?No?No, the hair grows back.Oh god, I thought waxing took all the follicle out and all that shit.No.No?It rips it.This is a terrible discovery at my age.
Terrible.I feel so bad for you.All that bleeding and menopause and babies and breastfeeding and all that shit and now you gotta also do it once a month? Oh my god, I cannot imagine someone taking my pubic hair off with wax, no fucking way.
Well those are like, you know, trained professionals too.It doesn't hurt less though, does it?No, I mean it still hurts, the ripping hurts, but then they, you know, press down, put a little pressure on it and that helps.
Oh they do?They like press down with a cold cloth or something?
This all led me to remember that there was, on my algorithm, a couple of months ago, I was getting this tiny little Brazilian wax place in Miami, and I think I told you about this, and the girl was doing nothing but putting a finger over the clitoris, or putting a little Q-tip over the clitoris, and then waxing the vagina, and she was rolling them on Instagram.
And I was thinking to myself, this girl is showing the entire vagina except for the actual hole in clitoris.How is she getting away with this?Because the rest of the vagina is just exposed, right?
And as we learned from Dr. Sin, the vagina is a lot more than just, you know, the hole.That's not the vagina.The vagina is the whole thing. The vulva.The vulva is the whole thing.So I thought to myself, whatever happened to that girl?
I was getting served all those waxings all the time because I'm a fucking creep and that's what happens when you watch it three or four times to figure out what's going on there. And come to find out, the account is no longer active.
I think she got banned.I think she got blocked.But she was being pretty risky there.I mean, I got to admit, she was being pretty risky.
But anyway, so I am now hairless in certain parts of my chest because the nurse, as nice as she was, as sweet as she tried to do it, at one point she ripped off the first three and I just told her, I said, let me do the rest, please, because I don't want to be mad at you.
Let me be mad at myself.Let me be mad at myself.
But she was kind of half measuring it she would like do it quick but slow, you know Slow it and then quick it and then quick it and then slow it and I was like listen I know you're trying to be nice here, but it's gonna come off anyway So let me just fucking just rip it off and I just took all those nodes and I was like, ah
Like Hulk.Rip it off your shirt.Yes.
Oh, I was so fucking pissed that I had to, you know, I thought to myself, if you have taken all this time, 3M, to come up with this wonderful version of these nodes that don't stick to people's chest hairs, then why do I have to go through it with this second EKG?
Isn't it the same as the first EKG?Why did I have to do two EKGs, one with more sticky nodes?I don't understand.
More data.I think what happened was the first time they didn't get it right.Like it wasn't sticky enough.They didn't get the kind of reading they were looking for.So he just tried to make it.He didn't want to blame the nurse.
So he's like, I'm going to get a second picture just for good measure.Just for good measure.
Well, maybe after you told him that you did every drug under the sun.
Maybe, like, maybe be sure in the four minutes between her leaving and me coming in, you weren't smoking crystal meth or something. By the way, it's Friday.I'm going to take a break from the Spain stories just for just over the weekend.
I'm going to give you a break over the weekend and we'll get back to it next week.But because it's Friday and typically we like to do video Fridays here, Breakdown Fridays, I have got, I have found a couple of months ago, I found a
There's a psychic show in Niagara Falls, New York, and it's a psychic show in like a Holiday Inn.And it's been going on for like a decade.
And so like in 2014, they had a lady doing a public access television show from the psychic conference in Niagara Falls, New York in the Holiday Inn.
And I'm telling you what, I've only watched a couple minutes of it because I like to give my first reaction always.But I think it's the kind of gold that we can have fun with here at the commercial break as the host talks to psychics.
that are there at the conference.So let's do this.We'll take a break.And when we get back, the Niagara falls psychic convention here on the commercial break from 2013, you heard it here last folks.All right.We'll be back.
Call me, beat me.If you want to reach me at 2 1 2 4 3 3 3 TCB. If you have any comments, questions, compliments, or content ideas, that's 212-433-3822.
You can also find us on the interweb at tcvpodcast.com, which is where all of our audio and video lives.So check it out.And then while you're at it, you can follow us on Instagram at thecommercialbreak and on TikTok at tcvpodcast.That's all for now.
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Guess who's sitting next to me?Steve!
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By the way, I don't know if you've been to a store lately, but it's Christmas already.
It's coming a month earlier every year.I mean, I saw people at Home Depot breaking out that Christmas stuff three or four weeks ago, like the last week in September.
Yeah, when you were going for your pool chemicals.
That's right, when I was putting my pool.By the way, I hired professionals.The pool is blue. I'll just let you know.It's all fixed.Yeah, it's all is happy and cool and no more frogs.They're all gone.It's been fixed, but not by me, by professionals.
Best to do it that way sometimes.
It is.I agree.All right.I agree.After the fact, I agree.After I tried to do it myself.All right.So without further ado, Chrissy, I was trolling on the internet.As you do.
The psychic expressions fair is a thing that happens annually in Niagara Falls, New York.
I think there's a psychic fair here in Atlanta.
Oh, I'm sure there is.Yeah, there's got to be.I mean, there's a sucker born every minute.You know what I'm saying?
A recent report that I saw this on Jon Stewart, a recent report said more Americans now claim that they trust a psychic more than they would trust a therapist to give them advice.
I think I saw that same statistic.
Which is basic insanity.Yes. You know, we have science guys, like there's actual science out there.And if psychics actually worked, then the world would be a whole different place.It really would.
I'm not saying there's no such thing as psychic powers or psychic energy.I believe there might be.But I think most of the people claiming to be psychic are just really psyched bad.They're just like really bad at what they do.
Yeah, it's the old carnival trick.
Yes.And so to showcase this, I have decided that I'm going to pick this public access television host who is interviewing people at the Psychic Expressions Fair in Niagara Falls, New York.This is from 2013, I believe.
And my baby completely freaking out as she's jet lagged.She's just jet lagged.That's all it is.I don't know how to fix it, but I guess I'll put her to sleep when we get done.
You see something with your third eye or your spirit's eye.So we call that clear sight.It's clairvoyance.Clairsentience is when... Oh, your third eye.
I'm using my penis chakra to scan the room for available wallets that are big and I can take money out of.
We call that clear sight.By the way, I've known about the third eye for a long time, and I've never heard it called clear sight.But what do I know?
How you sense that there's someone in the room, but you look around and there's no one there.
That's called clear, that's called clear schizophrenia.
It's clear sensing of a presence.That's all that other person's doing.Audience is when you hear something and you're sitting in a room and you know there's nothing there.My name gets called a lot.Yeah, I was just gonna say.From spirit.
And it's someone that's caught my attention.
It's just Astrid, the other side of the bed.
Usually because something significant is about to happen.And can I ask a question?
This lady's awesome.Can I ask a question?Can I ask a question?What about animals?
I don't know.I just heard one time there was animals. Look at that shirt.
I've heard this before.You know when my cats or the dog, when I used to have a dog, I might be sitting there watching TV and all of a sudden the cat's just looking up and watching.Staring.Cats.And turning their head.
And I'm thinking, and I'm looking at them, and you are looking at little kids.
These kids are talking all over each other.He sees that laser light you keep pointing at the ceiling. I am not surprised.I'm not surprised this lady is watching her cat at home, by the way.Just not surprised.
Kids, too, will do that.Yes.Because they have no conscious thought.Like your hidden playmate, you know, the playmate you don't see.Sometimes it's grandpa.
The host has the biggest grin on her face.
people uh... father and his parents here and there could be a good child who attaches or comes they have no conscious thought they haven't we have they haven't done decided yet that this is spooky or strange or weird so a cat or a dog or a small child the innocent someone in spirit it it is it's it's very much innocence uh... as they grow up and i think that's the answer what about snakes are small cockroaches or that uh...
squirrel outside that keeps eating the side of my aluminum.What about that guy?
Because they don't want to talk about it, but others... What about opossums?How do you feel about opossums?Who are naturals, grow up with it anyway.You know, Wayne Dyer did a story once...
He's been dead for a while.Let's talk to him.
One of my favorites.Good guy.Yeah, yeah.One of my mentors, he told the story about the little three-year-old that went into the room of the newborn and said, tell me about God.I'm beginning to forget.It's so cool.It's amazing.
Wow, Chrissy, that's fantastic.Tell me about the small child that didn't stop screaming.Wayne Dyer once told a story about the little child that didn't stop screaming during the entire hour episode of the commercial break.Wow, one of my favorites.
Yes, one of my favorites, Chrissy. Let's hear more what they have to say.
The parents heard the child say this to the newborn.
You know, another thing that we could mention is gardeners.
You know, you go out and you... Oh, I've always wondered why they have their hose in their hand outside my window. They always have that hose in their hand.Mmm.What's his name Paco?
Plants or in the house your house plants they they react to vibrations and of course Oh, yeah.Oh, of course.This is living.It's still alive.And this is from the mineral kingdom.And this is why some of this is alive.
We wish the mineral kingdom, the mineral kingdom, the mineral kingdom.
I mean, I have a little crystal minerals myself, but I don't think they're alive.No, no, I don't think so.
Oh, they're talking to me.
Psychics work with crystals for healing.Sometimes they place them up your, up your anus.
I'm sure that is a thing.Oh, you know it is.
Oh, you know those bumhole sunners are sticking all kinds of things in their anus.
Or your spine area, but on the front or the back.Well, it could be either way.
It could be the front or it could be the back, as my husband used to say. You could turn me around this way or turn me around that way.Either way, it's a dirty deed I got to do.Right.
But this is why they use the stones, because they are alive and they do have a vibration.And like you admired the amethyst, the amethyst is a very spiritual stone.That's my stone.That's my stone, too.
Oh, Chrissy, this is turning out to be a wonderful connection.
Oh, the amethyst.Well, the star, I don't know. What's your sign?Well, I'm Aquarius and Pisces.
Oh, Aquarius and Pisces.You're a wet penis.Yes.I love wet penises.Well, you could do the front or the back, Chrissy.
You could do the front or the back.
You could turn over either way.Yes.Small children, too.
And it also is good for people, if you have like an alcoholic in the house, just give them a crystal.
I know, how did that come up?That was a weird segue.
That's I think a personal experience.
If you have say a crack addicted prostitute in the house, you could get these living crystals. to shoo them away.
It's good to put one of these in the middle of the living room and it calms that person down, it brings a better balance into the home.Roast quartz, I tell people a lot of times to put it in the drawer next to the bed so they can sleep better.
Do they pull out the quartz instead of the bottle?
I do.Sometimes when Jimmy gets a little rowdy with me, I smack him over the head with the rose quartz.Settles him right down till the cops show up.And then I talk to the plants, because they're living, Chrissy.Harmony.
Well, yeah, it's peace, love, and harmony.That's what rose quartz is.And the clear crystal is very, like a clairvoyant or a clear, you know, it gives you the vibrations.
You know, when you need a little vibration, when that alcoholic isn't doing his job, if you know what I mean.You take that clear canvas and you stick it right where the sun don't shine in your vulva, which is also alive, Chrissy.
I didn't know if you knew that.It comes from the vulva kingdom. So now you've got the Mineral Kingdom and the Vulva Kingdom coming in.And I don't know if you know, but I've met the Queen of the Vulva Kingdom.She's very nice.Wayne Dyer, yes.
hold the stones while they're working.Yeah, everybody does it different, but we all get the same answers.
So let me ask a question from each of you to our viewers today.Those are really good, helpful, what to do with stones for those who are watching.
Put them in the middle of the living room?Yes.That's really the best place to put them.Make sure everyone knows you're crazy as soon as they walk into that. Make sure everyone goes, well, no, they can't babysit the kids as soon as they walk in.
It wards away people asking you to do things.
Somebody maybe, who is going to transitional?Transitional, our coach, going through transition.Somebody's watching today.
Oh, well, I've heard that Olympic skier, the Kardashians' husband, he's going through transition.Yes.
that might need some encouragement, or what would you tell them to help them to start changing today, help to change their life today?
Well, it would be Baby Steps, definitely.
We would have to identify their block, identify, you know... Well, I'm over here on 5th Street, so I've already identified my block.
their initial starting point.And from there, once we identify the block, we can clear that.
Then we can put it in ways and find the best way to get there without traffic, Chrissy.That's right.So convenient.Yes, and if you want to put some rose quartz in your car, that'll keep the alcohol from driving too recklessly.
Peace, love, and harmony.That way they don't stop at the bar and have a few with the buddies.You get there promptly, Chrissy, promptly.
And then once we clear it, we can start to move over to forgiveness.And then once we forgive, well, I take that back.
First you have to do the ritual beating of the person you're upset with.And then you can do all of the forgiving you want. You're blocked!You're blocked, bitch!First you have to do the blocking.I'm blocking her.No more Facebook messages.
Why do I have a feeling all these ladies are currently on Nextdoor?
Oh, yeah, for sure. And then we can forgive.Forgive.And forgiving self.And definitely forgive ourself.Definitely that is, you know.So then you might say that.
So any therapist would give you that advice also.Just throw that out there.
The starting place is to recognize that we're all human.We all fall short at different times.And the starting place is to learn to love yourself and forgive yourself.
And isn't that what one of our greatest teachers taught us is love yourself, love God with your whole heart and soul.And if you don't love yourself, who else is going to love you?Exactly.And how about you? This is so public access.
These girls aren't getting on ABC, NBC, or Fox News anytime soon.
Something that you might be able to say to the viewers who are watching today, something that they can grasp onto to begin to make a change in their lives.That we're all spirit having a human existence.
Have you ever been to a goose show? Let's start there.I hear goose.Let's start with the geese.
And because we're all human, we all have challenges that we have to face.And we don't usually grow through the happy times as much as we grow through the challenges.
So I would ask the viewers today to ask what the challenges have taught you and how you've grown from it.
What does it have to do with psychic abilities?I'm not really sure.
Yeah.That is so beautiful.Isn't that the key in life?Yes.
You know, as a coach, I can't tell you, just this morning in a coaching conversation where I was sharing with someone, I said, not only all my clients, but all my friends, everybody I know is going through, what do they say?
You're either going into a crisis or you're in the middle of the crisis or you're coming out of it.
Yeah, that's usually how it works.
Yes, Chrissy.But if you've got a clear, translucent stone on your wrist, then you'll be able to see right through the crisis.But don't worry about it.
One.And Solder, you have the moments of peace and serenity, but we're all human when we all struggle and we all fall short.
And just knowing that... That's the third time I've said that on this episode.Good times, bad times, we all fall short.
brings us up to forgiveness.We're in the time frame of the Awakening.
Oh, the Great Awakening!I learned this on 4chan.
The Bronze Age, the Industrial Age, and the Awakening.
BITCOIN!It's about the Mayan calendar ending, but it's round.And something round never ends.It just keeps turning.
Oh, I never realized that.I've had my car stuck in park since I bought it.I thought one spin and then we're done.Well, great.I'm glad I spent the $25,000.
So the awakening, and this is what I'm noticing with many people that are coming to me, you know, what you said is true.
I love how it says Psychic Expressions Fair.Call 8991 Niagara Falls Boulevard.
Oh, Niagara Falls Boulevard.All right, we'll be back from Niagara Falls.Remember, we're all human, struggling.We're going to get our amethyst out, beat some alcoholics upside the head, and we'll be back.
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Klarna balance account required.Klarna may get a commission.Limitations, terms, and conditions do apply. All right, we're back at the Psychic Expressions Fair, 8991 Niagara Falls Boulevard, that's the Holiday Inn.
And we're talking with the ladies of the round table here about, I thought we were talking about psychic stuff, but right now we're just giving generalized platitudes about life.Everyone's got a platitude, so let's hear more.And my baby, too.
Oh, wait, where'd that go?Oh, there it is, okay.Hey, come back here.
We have to raise above that and we have to encourage people in a very positive keynote and keywords.We have to use the right hashtags and metadata.
We have to use the right words, which she cannot find right now.
If you want to come up on the search results, you're going to have to use the right keywords and metadata and tags.Chrissy, that's it.I learned that in my SEO class yesterday.
I feel it and give it to them.And that awakening is happening with many more people than we can imagine right now.
I just thank each of you so much for coming today and sharing with our viewers to give them an idea of how they can begin to make that change.How they can take those one small steps at a time and begin that change.
And they can come and visit you at the site.
I can't imagine that anybody out there is like sitting around going, my life has been changed by this.
It's a roundtable moment.Expressions Fair at the Holiday Inn on Niagara Falls Boulevard, September 20th, 21st and 22nd, Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
Look at that logo.That is classy ass right there, Chrissy.Grassy ass on your classy ass.That is unbelievable.Who designed that?Get them in here to the commercial break immediately.
It's like a rainbow braid.
I don't even know what to say about that.There's 15 different fonts on that particular flyer.It's a little hard to read, but you know.It's also 2013, so we'll give them a little bit of credit.
This conversation flew by even faster than I could even imagine, but I'm excited.I think I'm going to come by and see you guys, and I know you're helping the food bank with this fair as well.
And, you know, again, I just want to thank you for tuning in and sending your emails and your calls and following.
Oh, thank you for sending your calls, Chrissy.So many calls I've been sent, and I just, I just, I love every one of them.
I've been reading them, all the calls.It's on Facebook and on Twitter and on LinkedIn, because I'm enjoying hearing from you.And if you think you may want to be a guest on the show, please make sure that you reach out to me as well.
Oh, if this lady was only still around, Chrissy, and we could grab ourselves a top spot.What is going on with my child?Who is currently beating her senseless like this poor child?This is what 10 hours on a dry, cold plane will do to a small baby.
Well, not a small baby, but a rather large baby.This is what we'll do.I'm afraid, like Hulk, she's going to come busting in the door at any moment and go, where's my food and nap, dad?
She's waiting for me to come out of the room because she's she loves me so much and you know, I love her too But she's at that age.I love her too, but she's at that age, you know, but I guess we all gotta remember We're just human Chrissy.
We're all just human Let's hear the final words from this lady and then I'll wrap it up so I can so I can go and hold on
And I want to thank just two of our sponsors, two additional sponsors, Kim Will from Mr. Frank's Barber and Beauty Shop, where she is helping to educate you on how to take care of your skin, your nails, your hair.
There's lots of information to learn there, too.And Marge Reid from The Healing Spa, where she's using a variety of different modalities, Reiki, massage.Masturbation. color and light, so many things, micro-currents, all kinds of stuff.Micro-currents!
To help with your physical well-being, too.So thank you for tuning in.I thought you just needed a Rose Quartz.
What more can I say?Well, listen, you'll need a Rose Quartz in certain situations, but be careful in all situations, because that Rose Quartz, it can do numbers on alcoholics.
If I thought rose quartz could cure my alcoholism, I mean, for God's sakes.Listen, not that I don't believe in the healing power of crystals.I do.Yeah.That's how I got laid for the first 20 years of my life.
I believed in the healing power of crystals. And therefore girls like me.Because if you can't be good looking, believe in crystals.
But I don't know that it can help alcoholics.
No, I'm not going to make that claim.Because if that was true, this lady would be a billionaire and she wouldn't be on the Niagara Falls Public Access television show. Let's each their own.To each their own.
All right, listen, all y'all have a good weekend.We really appreciate it.We will see you on the flip side of my surgery.So here's wishing me well.
Yes, lots of healing.We're going to send you lots of healing crystals and light.
I'm bringing a whole rock from the mineral kingdom.Bringing them all, cats, dogs, snakes, cockroaches.It's going to be a hell of a time at TSA.Thank God I have a free check.They let the minerals go right through it.They don't care.
They're like, ah, whatever. He's not currently a criminal.Whatever.I don't care.That pre-check is the best thing ever.It really is.It really is, especially when you don't have kids in tow.
Yeah, I agree.So I look forward to just zipping right through.This time, I don't care if I get there five minutes before the doors close.I'm already checked in.I'm checking no bags.I don't give a shit.
Just get me there, get me right on the plane, and I'll be happy as a clam.Happy as a clam, Chrissy.As long as we don't sit in two hours of traffic, I'm going to be happy as a clam.All right. 212-433-3822, 212-433-3TCB.
We're taking questions, comments, concerns, and charity ideas.Which charity do you support?Which charity would you like to see us shine a light on?
In the 12 days of TCB, happening December 13th through the 25th, I just want to let you know, because our network has requested, and you'll hear more about this coming up, we will have fresh episodes through the entire holiday season.
So, I know a lot of podcasts take that time off, but we do not, because we cannot afford to. We'll be here with you.So stay tuned.
At the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on tik tok, youtube.com slash the commercial break and TCB podcast.com for all the information and your free sticker.You know how to do it.All right, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for today.
But I'll tell you that I love you.I love you.I'll say best to you.Best to you.Best to you out there in the podcast universe.Until next time, Chrissy and I always say, we do say and we must say goodbye.
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