This is a HeadGum Podcast.
The Fraser here refers not to Seattle psychiatrist and Nile sibling Fraser Crane, but to the Fraser River, the longest river in British Columbia, named for the explorer who established the province's first European settlement, though naturally indigenous peoples had inhabited the riverbanks for generations.
And the child of the Fraser is the city of Richmond, officially founded in 1879, its economy becoming centered around the fishing and agriculture enabled by the fertile waterway.
But an even more consequential founding happened nearly a century later, in 1967, when America's great contribution to culture, fast food, planted its golden arches in Richmond proper, courtesy of chain restaurant colonizer Ray Kroc.
Yes, Richmond, British Columbia is home of the first Big Mac purveyor north of the Canadian border, a brand that has grown to around 1,400 restaurants and 90,000 employees in Canada alone, making it the fourth largest eatery in the nation, just ahead of burger family vendor A&W.
The city of Richmond's population has more than McDoubled in the past 40 years, largely due to immigration from Asia.
In 2016, Craig Jones, a professor at the University of British Columbia, proudly declared the city, quote, one of the most diverse regions in Canada and maybe the world.
Could the influx of new Richmondites from around the globe possibly be related to its status as a Canadian McMecca?Almost certainly not, but to look at it another way, yes.
Today, with the Yankee-McBurger chain as omnipresent in Canada as Tim freakin' Horton's, speaking as an American, let me just say to our neighbors to the North, you're welcome.And you're also welcome for Fraser.
This week on Doughboys, we conclude Toronto Dough, Dough Canada, the Great Bite North, a month-long culinary tour of the six with McDonald's Canada. Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants.
I'm Nick Weiger, along with my co-host, Francis Ford Capicola, the Spoonman Mike Mitchell.Welcome to Doughboys.
Very Halloween-appropriate roast you got there today.
Very Halloween-appropriate, yes.
I was not, I was joking.It's not Halloween-appropriate at all.Francis Ford.I thought you were, because you were talking, you did a Dracula voice because you did Bram Stoker's Dracula.That was, oh.
That's what I thought the reference to you was making was.
I made a meal out of the muck.
Hi, Dofam.Thanks for keeping me entertained all these years while mowing the lawn and plowing snow.Hi, Eli.Parenthetical.Leave this out if you want.IDC.All right.
Thanks, Jeremy.When he says plowing snow, does he mean he's fucking it?
Yeah.And when he says mowing the lawn, he means eating it out. Roast at birdfuck.com.A megalopolis roast, Mitch.Yeah, it's not a Canadian roast.Yes, it's not a Halloween roast.It's a megalopolis roast because it's in the zeitgeist.
Dracula.He did do Dracula.
He did.Bram Stoker's Dracula.Gary Oldman.
That reminded me of something that happened today.We'll get to that later.
You know, Hamman, I know you haven't seen Megalopolis yet, but the thing I can tell you that's not a spoiler... I'm talking about the bird.We'll get to the bird.The thing I can tell you that's not a spoiler... Is that Watto from Phantom Menace?
Yeah, but he's dressed as Dracula from Halloween.
Sorry, I'm hitting the microphone.What do you think they're dressing like on Tatooine?Go ahead.Is there a Halloween?
It's probably called something different and funny.
It's called Halloween with like an O-O-I-N-E.Oh, like Tatooine.
And they dress up like characters from other planets, like Gungans or whatever.
And then that's and that's a whole Gungans dressed up like Ewoks.Ewoks dressed up like Gungans.
And I heard that that Jack Skellington is actually there.They're Santa Claus who comes on Halloween.He is.It's all flopped.Yeah, it's all it's all different.
Part of the Star Wars universe.Yeah, there's skeletons.Jack Skellington's part of it.He's always kind of if you go back and watch episode one, he's sort of shooting around in the background a lot.It's all that at this point.
The first one that came out, Episode four, I guess I should say.
Uh, look, I- We gotta slow it down here a notch.Megalopolis.Here's what I was gonna say.
Megalopolis.It's gonna be like that today.
It's gonna be a wild one.We know what we're getting into.
Yeah, yeah.And you know what?I love every minute of it.Good, good.This is what it's all about.You're putting a dent in that couch right there with your grip.
Well, I said I'd make a meal out of the muck, but what do you what is what's the mountain?I'm all polished mountain.I don't know.But like, what's that?You polish it.Turd.
Yeah, that's a little.What's the made gold out of?What is what's the.You know, I split lipstick on a pig.
There you go.That's one of them.Funny.All that a gunk.Yeah.
Meal.You're sitting around a prom night.Put lipstick on a pig.
Get that.That Mike Mitchell back here.
Yeah, I got sent back to the pig farm.The pigs had a great night at prom.You should never have been out of that pig farm.
If I was the mayor of that town, which one day hopefully I will be mayor of Quincy, I'm going to A, burn it to the ground, and change all the laws about letting half pig boys out of their pens to go to school.
I'm not a half pig boy.Here's the deal. I brought a pig to prom, and then they were like, there's a pig at prom.And then the pig catchers came, they took me.They confused me, they thought I was the pig.The pig stayed at prom.Had a great time.
I think he was prom king, yeah.The pig won prom king.Fucking got laid.Yeah.He lived the life.I was over there rolling in mud.I actually had a blast.
I would love to be Mayor Quincy one day.You can't be Mayor Quincy.
I would love it.You can barely do any math.
You don't have to do math to be a mayor.
Budget?You just have to cut the ribbon on a new auto parts place.
Yeah, it's largely a ceremony.The comptroller will take care of the budget.
I don't trust you with the scissors.You're going to be cutting ribbons.I just don't like it.
Look, while we're talking civic governance, we've got to talk about megalopolis.
Because here's what I want to say. This is not a spoiler.Good.Aubrey Plaza in in Megalopolis plays a character.
I was Aubrey Plaza because you're bringing this up.Aubrey Plaza in in the movie Megalopolis plays a character named Wow Platinum that is named Wow Platinum.Now here's what I've said to Mitch.What word did the doughboys say more than any other?Wow.
And what is the highest honor you can achieve on the Doughboyz podcast?Five forks all around, which puts you in the platinum plate club.Yeah.Wow.Platinum.
I believe that's a nod to the pod because I think Francis Ford Coppola is a Doughboyz subscriber.Which makes sense.
Really?You think he is?I think he is.
Which makes sense because we're a Coppola goofballs.
I was- He's done that three times.
I love it.I love that.He skipped one.He was like, you think Francis- Why the fuck would Francis Ward go for me?He's not listening to anything.He's listening to opera vinyl.That would be cool though.I wouldn't be surprised.That would be cool.
You're going to burn Quincy to the ground.
I'm going to save one house.Hopefully, Adam's house.
Not your house?Oh, my house.
I'm going to take all you and all your friends, put them in your house, and then burn the rest of it.It'll be a party.We can start over finally.
You can't cut too many.There's a lot of ribbons keeping things together over there.You can't cut too many of them.
Mitch Hanford, this is the final episode of Toronto Dough Canada, The Great Bite North, a month-long culinary tour of the six, and the mystery chain teased at the live show has been revealed.It is McDonald's Canada.That's right.
Everyone guessed it, and they got it right.
Everyone was guessing McDonald's Canada.They got it right.Wait, they were, really?Yeah.Oh.Well, then you got it right.Why?Because you're dressed up for Halloween as a dork.
I am wearing my Canadian tuxedo now.Here's the thing.Well, I mentioned the live show I was gonna wear this is a live show and Of course Air Canada lost my bag.
It was a whole ordeal that we're later in the week now We're recording up here at podium studios in Toronto So I have my my luggage and I'm bringing out the Canadian tuxedo for this Halloween Centric, but you did we were just talking about that it released a Halloween.
Did you know that it was Halloween?Yeah, I That's not why you dress up in the Canadian tuxedo.
No, I wore it just to wear it, because otherwise it was a fucking waste.Well, you got it on.
Yeah, I got it on.There's nothing like a brand new denim coat to make a man look very uncomfortable.Look how high his shoulders are.I know, I know.It's also a little too big, but it's all right.
It does look like you're wearing a fat girl suit.It looks like it's flumped up.
Yeah. I'm clumping a little bit.I have a, I have a jean jacket that I've been for years, like trying to just like make it wearable.Yeah.I wash it unnecessarily sometimes just like break it down and it's still just like this stiff, stupid thing.
Emma and Mars, you're the Canadian in the room.Y'all got any denim?
Y'all got any- Oh yeah, Nick, we got lots of denim.Okay, okay.That's like a Canadian, Mars.
Yeah, just jeans.No jacket, really, because I do find them to be pretty stiff, and I haven't found one I love yet.
I think they're in storage in my parents house in Maine, but I got them from a vintage store in college And so they're like one of them the sleeves is off is all frayed and it's like got holes and it's falling apart But it's so soft.
But yeah, it's like someone wore it for like 20 years.Yeah, I bought it.I
So I lost my luggage and we found it back.Another thing that happened.So Emma and I and and Mars and Amelia and I went on a walking tour guided by Atlanta Johnston, the knife earlier this week.
We went to the Rogers Center, which is where the the blue or the Blue Jays play or the Leafs play, whatever the fuck they got.They have the baseball, isn't it? Roger Center is baseball.The Scotiabank Arena is where they play.The Scotiabank is where?
Basketball.Basketball.OK, so so that's that's where the Raptors play.
And hockey.Yes, I think maybe.
We're at the sports complex where we're all the Toronto area.Formerly known as the Sky Dome.Anyway, so there's a bunch of statues.There's like a wall of heroes of all of the the Maple Leafs, the famous Maple Leafs, the Hall of Famers.
Wendell Clark, I'm sure was.Yeah, Doug Gilmore. Um, well, you know, it's popular and Tim Horton himself, the Hockey Hall of Famer.There was a statue of him immortalized.So we go to pose for a photo there and I take my my purse off.
Um, and I just for the photo and I hang it on like the outstretched foot of Tim Horton or another leaf.Um, and we take the photo and then we leave and we're in like a store looking at like Raptors jerseys.And I'm like, where's my bag?
We were gone for like 10, 15, 20 minutes, like shopping.And we thought he put it down while I was trying something on.We're looking all over the store.I look across the street, still hanging on the dude's foot.
So Emma, thank you.You've saved this whole thing a number of times.
That's what the jacket was in?
No, that's where, that was a separate incident.That's where I just lost, I almost lost my wallet and phone and everything.Yeah, I'm just bad with everything.
I told you, I told you I took my fucking sunglasses and I stashed them in the pocket of my hotel robe and I lost them for two days.I don't know what they were doing there.
You're gonna let him talk like that?He's bad at everything. What are you talking about?You got yourself across the border.That's a difficult task.Yeah, you had your passport with you.
I'm managing with it.This is the final episode.We're going to figure it out.
Get the fuck out of here.Just leave.
I'm about to go.This is the final episode.
I know, I'm thrilled.We're almost done.I felt so much better.I feel like shit this week.
Yeah, it's been a tough week.We've been eating a lot of garbage.We were in front of the Scotiabank Arena for that, and then we went to the Sky Dome afterwards.The statues are in front of Scotiabank Arena.Got it, got it.
That's where it was.You know when you guys, like, you go to somebody's house for the first time, like, they're hosting you, and, like, you walk in, they're like, this place sucks.I don't even want to be here.
You don't really want to go to that person's house, right?That's true.Yeah. I would imagine the same thing, uh, carries over to podcasts.I don't want to be here, I don't like this.
I think that makes me feel... The Rogers Center is where they play, I think it's the Kenny Rogers Center, isn't it?I don't know you, but here's a baseball. You gotta know... Is it Kenny Rogers?Is it Kenny Rogers?
You gotta know when... Oh yeah, that gambler.
That's what it is.You're thinking of... Who's that guy who I'm thinking of?
Uh, you know what I'm talking about.Yeah, yeah.Uh, Mike McDonald?Oh, it's Mike Donald.
You know what?We're the McDonalds.
Kind of appropriate.Hey, pretty good.Kenny Rogers could be like... You gotta know when to hit em.You gotta know when to bunt em.
I thought you were gonna say, know when to sit em.
Know when to walk em better.Know when to run em.
Run, run, that's right.There you go.You better start your sliding.When you're coming down to home base.
Don't start your sliding right after you've hit the ball.
All right, look.Play it off. Happy Halloween to all our listeners.It's a Halloween day.That's right.Am I back in Los Angeles at this point?I don't know.I don't think so.You're betting no.Work final, October 29th.There's a chance I'm back.
There's a chance.We'll see.But then they also told me maybe not.Yeah.A lot of people thought we were going to do, I guess there's a haunted mansion keg or something.
The keg has haunted mansion installation.
I went to the keg with my mom and sister.
The keg, same ownership as Swiss Chalet and Harvey's.
Oh, it's a chain.What kind of restaurant is it?It's kind of like a steakhouse.
Eastside Mario's.They're all one company.
Eastside Mario's?Yeah.Keg Mansion.Keg Mansion is said to be haunted by Lillian.Oh my God. I'm just reading this right now.Sounds scarifying.Scarifying?Yeah.
Keg Mansion is said to be haunted by Lillian, a maid who hanged herself in 1915 on the premises.Oh.She was employed by his owner, industrialist Hart Massey.
You know when you go to somebody's house and they're like, yeah, come on over, and you sit down and they just start reading off their phone?And you're like, oh, they weren't preparing for me to be here at all.They didn't
Yeah, it's kind of like going to Mitch's house, actually.Another story said that Lillian was having an affair with a Massey family man.
So Megalopolis was not a great thrill ride.I don't think it's a good movie, but I think it's a fascinating movie.
You want to get back into Megalopolis?You don't want to know more about the haunted games?
I don't want to sit here and watch you scroll through your phone.I think anyone who likes movies should watch Megalopolis, because it's a fascinating watch.It's part of movie history.Yeah, I think so.Very much so.
What would you say is the famous line from it?
Well, I mean, we're into spoiler country.Do you want me to say it?Yeah. What do you think of this boner?
That's probably the biggest, that's probably the line.Hmm.I'm guessing, I'm guessing this is maybe a guy who works at a morgue and he's got like a decomposed body and he's showing the new kid.You're close.
I actually have no idea what this movie is about.I don't, I've never, I haven't seen it.
You talking about an actual bone?I don't think a lot of people prefer to bones as boners.
No, the person, the skeleton.Oh, it's like, you know, when you're it's a Halloween, like, oh, look at that group of boners walking.There's a bunch of people dressed as skeletons, you'd say.Right.
I think if you start if you work in like forensics, if you're like you like perform autopsies, you start to adopt that sort of lingo.
I got another boner.Another boner's coming in.I'll throw it within the pile.
I found a boner in the ravine.I got a question for you.Yeah.I got a couple of things to say.One, we were driving over here.Yeah.I asked our Uber driver if I could roll down my window.
Who looked a lot like Paul Rudd, I thought.He was a handsome son of a bitch.
A French-Canadian Paul Rudd.
I got in that car and said, you're a handsome bitch.
You're a handsome bitch.Hug. That handsome son of a bitch, I said, can I roll out my window?You, the peanut gallery in the back, starts laughing.Sorry, peanut allergy gallery.
Starts laughing in the back.I developed, yeah, one latent life.
He grew a peanut allergy.My nephew's got one.He grew his, it's a slight one.His is grown.He planted it and watered it and grew it. You didn't have one before.He's got one.You got a slight start developing it.Yeah, it's weird.It's really strange.
What do they say?It happens sometimes.Did they draw the grid on your skin and then poke you with different?I did.I got that happen.Yeah, I got a blood test.Yeah, this whole thing.
Look like Terminator when they open his arm.
This joint's been getting a lot of work.
This joint's been getting a lot of work.
It's jacking off.It's a jacking off joke, yeah.So I rolled down the window, and the peanut gallery in the back laughing it up.Yeah, yeah.I said, what are you guys... And then Hanford says, it makes you less of a man.
Is that what you said?Well, this is you.And I don't think this is being... I'm not trying to make... This isn't a hyperbolic impression.I think this is what it sounds like.Sir, is it okay if I open the window? Is it okay if I open the window, sir?
And then what did he tell you?Yes, this is your car.You paid for it, basically.Yeah, he was very French.
He had a French accent.And he said, that's your window.That's your window.And then you said... He said, don't open mine.Do not open mine.And then, because this handsome son of a gun was also French on top of all that.Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He was a total package.And plus, he had a nice car.And he had a nice car.And then you're in the back there.He said, I think it just makes you less of a man.Yeah.And then in front, he was driving and went...
He laughed.He liked it.He laughed at that.He liked that.He's like, finally, the French are not being made fun of.We got off the butt of the joke.
Wags, we were in McDonald's.
But then I tried to roll down my window.I couldn't do it.Yes, it was locked.
He had him child locked.You yelled at him.He said, I need to get down for a joke, you were saying.Banging his head with an American flag.Wags, when we were at McDonald's, did anyone go up to you and say, hey, is your dad in here working today?
I'm a big fan.Fucking clown ass dad. I forgot about that.
That was so long ago.What?Clown ass dad.Yeah, that was a long time ago.It's just we've been in that with this was that this was a joke Mitch was making in the studio, like I guess back in June.When was that?
May may came out.That was Jordan Morris's episode that came out on 7-Eleven.Yeah.
So we probably recorded that in April or May.So I did.Yeah.The clown.Yeah, there you go.So someone said that to you when you went in?Mitch.
Well, that's what did anyone say today to you about your dad?
Anyways, look, a bird flew into McDonald's.That's right.That was cool.That's what I was referring to before, though.Oh, I was doing a bet.I thought you were doing a bat for Halloween was we were doing bats.
And I said, oh, that would that connects to later because a bird flew in there.
It's so it's funny seeing birds inside always.
It is funny.I agree with that.But you got to play the drop and then I got to introduce Hanford and then we can get on with the show.
Salute to Nation Collier. Emma hit him with a drop.Zee drop.Zee drop.You know what?Guys, that's kind of my mission this year.We talked about it a bit with Ghostbusters.You know that song? Give it back to the boys.Hey!Give it back to the boys.
Give it back to the boys.Give it back to the boys.Prepare for this bit to carry on for another three months.
We love it!Yeah!Where's my For The Boys t-shirt?
The song was good, you have to admit that. What?
I think it said, it's dumb ways you slap head.
Oh, that's fun.DK, thanks for pushing me to fix the audio.This is how the email is starting off.So DK, I guess, pushed back on this guy to fix the audio.DK, thanks for pushing me to fix the audio.Open to tweaking it again if you think I should.
What the fuck is going on, DK?How long has this been going on?
Well, this email is from 2023, May 2023.If you use it, here's the note.Drop King is giving like rounds of notes on Drop King.What the hell are you doing, Drop King?If you're hearing this, the Sloppy Boys are probably on the pod, so a hearty... Wow.
What is up to them?All right.I did pretty bad.
You do it.Oh, it's Tim's thing, but what is up, I guess he says.What is up?Now, who are... What is that?
Um, thanks for all the laughs and wows to Mitch and wags, Emma, DK, Casey, Amelia, and scorpion.Wow.The two fat Kevin's. Red, a.k.a.Danny Noonan on Discord.Hey, we know Danny Noonan.
Thanks, Danny Noonan.Lovely drop, well done.That was a good one.Yeah, and thanks for taking Drop King's feedback and iterating on it a few times.Get it up into shape.I wonder how much he's charging you.
Do all the drops go to Drop King first and he sends them to you?
I gave up on looking at the drops or looking at anything that has to do with the podcast in a lot of ways.
You probably get a ton of them, because we get a bunch.You guys have probably even Oh, they've kind of fallen off this pot a little bit.I always I always enjoy that when we do.I mean, we took that from your show, but we I'm sure it's fun.
It's fun to hear what people pick out of the episodes and put together.
Hey, our guest today from the Sloppy Boys in The Tonight Show, Mike Hanford is back.Hi, Han, man.
Handman, you're doing a show up here in Toronto tomorrow night.You're doing your stand-up.Thank you so much for making time to come do the pod.
It's great to have you.I love it up here.Thank you.Thanks for having me.
And a man who lived in Toronto for school.
That's right.You studied for a year at the University of Toronto.My freshman year, yeah.I was up here in a beautiful, beautiful school, beautiful town.
Wait, it was University of Toronto?Yep.I thought you said just a second ago it was St.Mike's.
Well, I was trying to explain, St.Mike's is this, the university is made up of seven colleges.St.Mike's was the college.So I was right.I said when I got, but I think I was trying to explain it.I was confusing when I was trying to explain it.
I think my, one of my first nights up here, I walked through the university of Toronto.I got a video of a skunk and I said to the camera, I said, this guy took your spot up here at University of Toronto.
He was my best professor.He was good.And then my nose on clothespin professor was pretty good.I should say clothespin on nose.
It was your freshman year.Yeah.So you were originally going to be like, I'll go to school up in Canada.I'll go to school in Toronto.And then you transferred to an American university.
Yeah, I transferred to Ithaca where I met Mitch. But well, I really liked it up here, but I realized I wanted to do film which turned into TV or entertainment and The program the film program up here was like all practical stuff.
So you're up here because you you grew up in all theoretical stuff So it was all like yeah talking about Theory.Yeah, right.Not application.
So you're so you're in your you're in upstate New York And you like how far from where you grew up is Toronto not far It's there was a time when Rochester had a thing called the fast ferry that would go right across Wow and it completely failed like no one used it
It was like this big story forever they from Australia this like big huge boat that could carry cars and shit And it didn't work out, but um it took maybe three hours to get here going around Lake Ontario.
Oh wow See it you can almost see Rochester from like oh oh That's what some people say.You can almost see across Rochester.So it's like if you had that fast ferry, you could go.
I know it was like an hour.It was crazy.And just no one came.And it was like, I think it was the idea was proposed when like the currency was U.S.dollar was better in Canada.
And then I think that just kind of evened out and it wasn't worth coming to shop.Damn.I've been to the rock to come to see the nice city, though.
Yeah, I mean, it's one of those geographical things that for me as someone who, you know, lived his whole life in Southern California, it's like, it's closer from Rochester, New York to Toronto, Ontario, than it is from Los Angeles, California to San Francisco, California.
It's like, it's just feels asynchronous to me.
From Rochester to Toronto than it was to Rochester to Ithaca.Longer to Toronto.Wow.
Yeah.Well, you don't like it too much.You left while you're up here.Like, what was that experience like as an American living in Toronto, like your first time away from all?How much were you bullied?
It was I was bullied.I did a lot of the bullying.I would run around, but I would go to like younger.I would go to high schools and bully those people because they were younger than me.
No, it was interesting because all the there's I don't know if they still do Mars.They still do grade 13 here. Okay, grade 13.
Yeah, it was like after the senior year up here you would or they just had 13 grades It's a 12 and then so everyone was a year older than us.
What the hell sounds like a like a scary show on like Nickelodeon.
Yeah.Yeah, that's a goosebumps.Yeah You're going to great I'm coming out of it
The door.That even might be a part of Fear Street.That might be too scary for goosebumps.Is that like the... Yeah, Fear Street is the elevator.
Stories to tell in the dark.
It was cool up here.Maybe I'll tell you somewhere.I don't know what the difference was.It was just being in a big city was like... That was the big thing.A brand new thing.Right, right, right.Which was really fun.And the school was humongous.
Like all my classes were huge.And I didn't really get to know too many people other than like the people in my dorm.
Because I also took a little stroll through the University of Toronto campus and just to like, it was a lovely campus.Mitch.
And I will say, but it's one of those campuses like NYU where, and I guess to some degree UCLA, where I went, although it's a little bit kind of self-contained, where the buildings are kind of integrated into a larger city.
Yeah, there's no defined, like the campus is here and this is outside.
And then you go to Ithaca, which is very much a college town.
Yeah, I think maybe that was part of it too.I did want like a college experience to have that just like everyone's in the same,
And then we had one of the best damn college experience in history with the birthday boys is created.How about that?That's pretty good.Yeah, pretty good.
He is.He's the guy who I met.I think I did meet you freshman year.Didn't you visit Ithaca freshman year?I don't think so.Then sophomore year.
Sophomore year it is.I can't believe a time in my life when you weren't around.We met through my roommate, Grana.Yeah, who I went to high school with.What's Grana up to?He lives in California.
He's a doctor in California.
Oh, that's cool.Like North, though.He was in the Peace Corps, wasn't he?
Oh, wait, no.AmeriCorps, maybe?Yeah.
Something like that.Sorry, Grana. We love you.We love you, Grant.
We love you, we just can't keep all your volunteer work straight.
Do you have, so you have your time in Toronto.Do you remember anything from like, were you going to Tim Hortons?Were there cheap bites you were getting back in the day?
Cheap bites, I remember two for one pizza I'd get a lot.Okay.Two slices for a dollar.Hey, that's not bad at all.For a loonie, you'd put down a loonie.You'd put down a loonie and then you'd get two slices.You'd get four slices.Wow.
I said, I can do this math all fucking day.I'm a university student.
You thought he didn't have the math skills to become mayor.
You can become mayor.Just don't burn it down.I do remember going, there was a toga party on campus once that me and my friends went to.Wow.Yeah, that was kind of fun.And then, but we went wearing, we got to pens and we thought that would be funny.
That was fun.And nobody else thought it was funny.Just the four of us thought it was funny.That was sort of my time here was like, I remember asking a girl out in a class I was in, like we got along very well.And she was like, no, I don't think so.
Actually, I did have a date here.I took a girl out to a movie and she wanted to go to McDonald's.We went to McDonald's beforehand.
Oh, hell yeah!Do you remember the movie?
No, I don't.I wish I did.It would have been 2000... What were we?Freshman 2001 or 2002?Yeah, 2002, I think, because it would have been the spring of that year.And I remember she came to my room, my dorm room, before the date.
And I had just music on and her name was Michelle and the Beatles song, Michelle, was on.And I was just like, fuck.
Came in I was like hey like you and she was like, I don't know what the song is Let's go to this movie in the McDonald's go watch attack of the clones 2001 was the fall 2001
Bad time in history was our freshman year.This would have been the spring.I'm saying our freshman year.Yeah, yeah, yeah.I was in Ithaca.I was in the East Tower at Ithaca College.Did you live in the towers?
No, no, I was in, I forget where.
2022, oh fuck, that's the wrong year, 2002.What the hell?Hold on.
Was there a bird at the McDonald's when you were there?
I was kind of acting like a bird.
We'll get to it.You know when the bird, I saw the bird get up, you know how you can order a Big Mac?Yeah, he ordered a big worm.
I saw that.Yeah.Do you see that?I did.He ordered.Yeah, he asked for the big worm.
And then, you know, you get a side of fries side of flies.
Yeah.Yeah.It was.We thought he said fry, fry, fries.But then we realized he said flies.He said fly.
Yeah.Yeah.Yeah.He said that.
And he said, can I get it to go?I'm taking it back to my nest.Yeah.I said, OK, yeah.
And you know, you can get a McFlurry.Yeah.Yes.For a birdseed McFlurry. Did you hear that?I did.I did.I remember that.
Yeah.Do you remember what he got for a drink?I do remember what he got for a drink.
Bird juice.I think it was beak sprite.Or bird juice.It was one of the two.2002 in film.Way up.
You know what he said?He said, don't give me a straw.Give me a hollow bone. Birds are made up.
Minority Report was an option.You could have seen My Big Fat Greek Wedding.That would have been a nice date film.That would have been fun.You probably could have gotten engaged.Ice Age or Signs.I think they've been signs.Might have been signs.
That would, yeah, that would track.
It seems like I did see that in the theaters.Ooh, that's appropriate for today, for Halloween.
That scary moment when the alien walks by and the footage.That is, that was a scary moment.Yeah. Um, seven up, isn't it?In McDonald's, isn't it?Sprite is right.Yeah.So seven way up didn't really work.It works for a bird.Yeah.
Like his bird can get really high parentheses into the sky.Yeah.Yeah.Yeah.But it doesn't work because they don't carry it.
Well, he asked for the restroom key.He said, like, can I get a restroom key?I have to go empty the contents of my cloaca.
All right.Yeah.And then they gave him the back door and there was a car out there.He sat on the car.He sat in the car.Yeah. OK, so that bathroom at that McDonald's is a nightmare.I was I was in there.I told you the story before.
This is that we went to the same McDonald's that I that I thought that Thunder and Lightning had turned the lights.
Wait, that's the McDonald's?Yes.So we ate.I ate breakfast.And then you then later together, we all ate lunch at the same McDonald's of the story you told at the live show of the McDonald's where they told you, get the fuck out.
Yes.You had breakfast and lunch at that McDonald's?
Yeah.No, I had some hotel restaurant oatmeal today.I was like, I know I'm going to eat something unhealthy for lunch.I want to have a baseline.So the lights go out.
Yeah.I sit down.I saw another guy sitting down.He got up and left.And then the guy came up and said, you got to get the hell out of here.He said the hell out of here?He didn't say hell.By the way, he said, dude, we're closed.
Do you see the sliding window?There was a pickup window there at McDonald's too? I did, uh, yeah, I saw that.Why is he looking for the time?It was weird.I don't think they use it anymore.Jesus fucking Christ.We were on your coverage.
You could have completely covered that.Now you've been talking about Coppola a little too long.My coverage?There was a sliding window.There was a sliding window there.There was a sliding window.He gave a thumbs up about the time.
There was a sliding window there.
I wonder what time it would have been for him to give a thumbs down.
There's a sliding window there you can pick up your orders, but now it's just like a part of the restaurant.It's probably the fuckin' bird entrance now.Yeah, it's the freakin' bird entrance.
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I don't remember, but I, but I, but I can, we can transition into burger preferences because it's about time to talk about McDonald's.Where do you stand on a burger?
A burger in general?Yeah.Yeah.Oh, thumbs up.Way up.Do you like the big worm? Yeah, yeah, I usually do.I do a big worm, but with like the meat cow option, right?Yeah, that's right.
You ordered the big worm, but with with beef.Yes, they'll do that for you, which is nice, which is nice.
Do you?But what is your like?Do you have like a either a favorite individual burger could be from any restaurant or do you have like the platonic ideal of like a burger, you know, off a grill or my favorite?
Yeah, my favorite is a burger off the grill.Yeah.Still like hot, the cheese and everything like a backyard barbecue.Yeah, that's my my favorite.
but my my just go to like my were my favorite just getting a burger from a place is probably like in and out or yeah smash burgers I know it's like a trend that's come and gone so much but I still love like smash burgers so is there Rochester burger spot you think of there's like Tom Walls and uh there's another one fuck the Bill Grays those are those are good like chips and chips I did that at McDonald's he was going fries chip what the hell's going on with you I've been watching too much mr. Bean I suppose
You've got Anglicized over there.You know who loves Smash Burgers?I've heard that the Hulk loves Smash Burgers.Oh shit.
Yeah, I've heard that too.This joke has not been made yet on this podcast.No, it weirdly hasn't.Hey, you know what?
If we were on your coverage, you could have fucking at least reacted to it.
He's reacting now, cover him, cover him!
There we go.How do you know he's on what coverage?Mike, can we edit that so that when I say, you know, like Smashburger's Hulk, and then have him do that laugh response?Yeah, put me laughing right there.
That'll be a little cleaner.He's wearing a different shirt.I think the, yeah.Have you heard that before?No, actually, I haven't heard it before.I don't think it's been said on the podcast.
Or in general. Okay, so you have like an In-N-Out burger or something like that, or like a Smash burger.Do you like a lot of, do you like any particular toppings?Any veggies?
Do you like bacon on a burger?I usually say hold the lettuce.Don't eat lettuce.I always find lettuce just kind of squirts everywhere and doesn't add much to it.Right.Mitch dropped his phone.
Get a shot of Mitch picking up his phone.
Mitch dropped his phone.I'm okay with it, baby. See Mitch, that's why I can get you turned on to one of these new phone necklaces.I've got a whole trunk in my hotel room.These things, they come in every color you can imagine.
Wait, your phone's on the couch.Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I don't know.I keep mine in a case at home.What hotel are you gonna stay at?Because you'll be gone now.I'm at Hotel Trudell.Staying with the Prime Ministar.Oh, that's nice.
Yeah, it was nice of him to open his home to me. You know what I do like?What's that?Is mayo.Yeah, you gotta have mayo.It's always something I kind of forget, and then I was like, oh, mayo.But tomato, mayo, ketchup, pickle would be sort of my top.
Sounds delightful.And, you know, onion, if I don't have a date later.Hey.The camera's never on me, right?I liked it. I like the audio fine, I don't work well on camera.
Halloween, good day to have onion on ya.Because it's close to garlic.It's close to garlic.Trick him for just a moment.Doesn't onion scare off some evil spirits or some shit?Maybe, I don't know.
I only know garlic with Dracula's.Yeah.You like garlic on your burger?
No.Nevermind. Could you say it further?Please just say yes.
Garlic aioli can be nice.I don't ever do like a roasted garlic, like just like smeared on a burger.But maybe I can see that working.
Garlic aioli.Will that work on track?It's got to work on Dracula.I think so.
I think he'd like, you know, ooh, crushed up garlic in it.Sorry, I was.You finish your thought.No, no, no.A crushed up garlic in the patty itself would be good. Yeah, that could absolutely work.Very good.Yeah.OK.
And where do you stand on McDonald's specifically?I love McDonald's.Love McDonald's.Yeah.I mean, this is like every time, even just today, just like eating, it's like it's a treat.Like it was growing up.That was like the Pavlovian like.Yeah.
McDonald's.It's good just because I know I can't eat a lot.
Yeah, I mean, I love McDonald's.I have a great time at a McDonald's.I try not to go too frequently, but every time I go, I go, I'm just like, this is great.
And it's disgusting food.I mean, like you open up the bun and you're just like, what is going on in here?It's a tasty treat that can't be beat.That's true.Absolutely.
It's called the Skeleton King.Speaking of owners.
McDonald's Canada, which we are covering for our final episode of Toronto Dough Canada, the Great Bite North Month on Culinary Tour of the Six, was founded in 1940 in San Bernardino, California, and first opened in Canada in 1967 in Richmond, British Columbia.
The last year the Leafs won the Stanley Cup.
Mitch, is that possibly connected?McDonald's intrusion into Canada is what led to the curse of the Maple Leafs?
The McDonald's has to end.Wow.
That's the last time they won.It really is.
I have a correction.I said we were quizzing Lisa Gilroy about, remember I said who won the World Series in 1990 and 1991 and in my head I thought it was the Jays.It was not.It was 1992 and 93 I think they won.
Yeah, I remember they had like two years in a row.They had back-to-back and I fucked up the back-to-back.
Did they have a guy named Carter who was really good?
He's still going there.Well, Mitch, if if if McDonald's has to leave Canada for the Leafs to win again, it's going to be a while because there are now 1400 locations in Canada.It is the fourth largest chain in the nation.
The second biggest American chain number one is Starbucks. Um, and for this episode, uh, we will only be discussing and rating Canadian exclusive menu items.
So that's how, that's what makes this the McDonald's Canada seeing as our guests basically got everything you get in America, but, uh, no, that's not true.That's not true things that you can get in America.
Mitch and I will be doing that.
Mitch and I will be doing that.
Hanford can do whatever he wants because I think it's also useful to compare the Canadian execution to the American execution because there are things like, for instance, I took a photo of the placemat which bragged about it's 100% Canadian beef, like all Canadian sourced eggs.
They're Canadian dairy.They are using Canadian products, so it might have a different sort of character to it.
Can I just say this?This is not an official review of McDonald's.No, this is not an official
McDonald's review.This is a review of McDonald's Canada.The Forks score applies to McDonald's Canada only.And you've never done McDonald's.We've done a McDonald's breakfast, but again the Forks score is only for McDonald's breakfast.
And this is the Forks score only for McDonald's Canada.Now I'll say this, there might be an episode where we discuss some stuff about McDonald's and our future in reviewing it.There might be something about that.What are you talking about?
Do we do that shit that will literally be out the week after the Tuesday after this?
The McList.Oh, my God.Are you out of gas?What?I don't know.I'm saying it's like because we're going to cut this.
But no, usually we can keep it.
You guys talked about who you would have on for the McDonald's episode.You made your like top 50 list of people you have on the McDonald's.Do you not remember?
I kind of remember this. This is a while ago.
It was a while ago.It's just you made a million.
You guys couldn't narrow it down to like, I think there's like 50 people on the list.
Yeah, we did a bunch of we recorded a bunch of episodes and I kind of went into a fugue state while we were doing it.
So that comes out next Tuesday.And I'm pretty sure if my math is correct, that is also double number 400.Wow.
How about that?Double number four.I just got to say this.Yeah. We almost did McDonald's Canada with Distin, but we recorded with him earlier in the week and we did Harvey's instead.
Lee Harvey's.What's that?Lee Harvey's.Lee Harvey's.
Actually, I don't think we said that in the episode, but it is named after Lee Harvey Hodswold, who's considered a hero in Canada.
Yeah, if you take out any, yeah, I can't say anything else.It's hard to joke in this territory.But you wanted this to be, McDonald's was gonna be the last surprise restaurant.Yes.So we pushed to a later guest, that's you.Surprise.
But you know what I am thrilled if we were just reviewing McDonald's Hanford would be a great last guess I think I think this is what I was gonna say I think this worked out beautifully because distance been living up here You know it and and I feel like has like is kind of adopted, you know, some Some is a kind of like some local character if you will like has become a part of the city And I feel like we have more of an the outsider to American perspective here, even though you did live in Toronto for a time Yeah
So I think this worked out perfectly, and I think this is a great one to end on.And you got on your track.
Definitely McDonald's.Definitely at the end of the week, that was you.You were ready for McDonald's to be at the end of the week.Yeah, it makes sense.It does.It's a great thing.You did a great thing.It all worked out great.It all worked out great.
Everyone did great.Here's what I got to say.Emma, you did great.Thank you so much.Emma and Mars, you did the best of anyone. I mean, it's me and Y, he's the other option.What the fuck are we doing?I'm gonna say this.Yeah.
So I apologize about the blue jays.Hanford would be a great, he'd be a great McDonald's guy.Yeah.
He'd be a great McDonald's guy.Look, we don't need to talk about what the episode will be.We can just do the episode.And let me just say this.
One frustration I had, McDonald's Canada has a specific app that is country locked, so visiting Americans can't even download it.
That's annoying.Unless you use Nord VPN, use code Doughboys at checkout at Nord VPN.
I don't think that's active anymore.Try it, let us know what happens.
Try it, give it a shot. But if you do use a VPN, you can probably get it.Yeah.Is is the is the is the move.
I was I think I was trying to upload some stuff on my Instagram stories and they weren't I couldn't see them in my story.But like then I saw people liking them.So I don't know if that was a weird like cell phone range type thing.
They got like Rogers and Bell up here.I don't know what the fuck's going on.
We have different cell phones.Isn't Bell Alexander Graham Bell?Yeah, yeah, yeah.The king of phones.
The Canadian King of Phones.The Canadian King of Phones.
But we saw the little house where the first long distance call was made in Little Canada.
You're correct.When we did our Little Canada double, which is in the past now, we went and we saw a little Alexander Graham Bell.How fun is that?
I'm going to go to that thing.You got to go.I got to go.
It was an absolute blast.It was one of my favorite things I did.It was a good time.
Hold on.Before we get more into it, are you going to get into food?Yeah. Hey, we got a beer drinker here.Oh boy.That's right.I likes beer.Oh boy.I'll tell you a funny beer.I want to hear a funny beer story.I want to hear your favorite Canadian beer.
Ooh, I liked, I liked most when I was here, I liked Molson.Uh, Call it was like Molson with like three ships on the front of it.Okay, if it was it was like a white label I also just look a little bats little bat blue.
I like a lot, too Yeah, yeah, I feel like I feel like those are the big two.Yeah in Canada bars Are you a you ever saw a brew dog ever?
No, I'm not much of a beer drinker.
I'm a beer drinker Does that track with like what Canadians drink like Molson and Labat?Oh
Yes, I think we also see a lot of American beers that people are drinking here Except for dad's dad's love kind of Canadian beers.
Yeah, like the Labatt and Molson is definitely like a product of me seeing like hockey ads in the 90s and 80s and stuff and also upstate New York had a ton of Canadian beers.Yeah.
Yeah, it's like a little bat was in our like in the Wegmans where we are Wow, it was like that that like easy to get
I wonder if they're going to be a like I wonder if there's there must be like a Canadian microbrewery scene.In fact, I know there is because we had some local I had some local NA beers earlier this week.
I can't remember what that brewery was, but those are delightful.
I was out with the monster squad, you know?Yeah. Dracula, Wolfman, Wolfman.They they they confused me for Frankenstein that I just kind of joined.
There was like a creature from the Black Lagoon.It's got an analog.Yeah.Kind of like a royalty free.
Mommy, not my mommy.My mommy wasn't there, but I love.Yeah, no, I know what she was.It would be great.I guess it's good you clarify, but I knew immediately which mommy.But I grabbed a course.Yeah.
And of course, I and I toss it to the Wolfman and he backed off. I remember you told me this story.
Yeah, you told me this story.
The silver bullet, you can't, you know what I mean?He's like, I'm not taking any chances.Ow! It was a good night, though.Yeah.Just a good Halloween story for everyone.Yeah, that's what you guys do at all.Like, uh, we we went, uh, we did the bash.Hmm.
Well, that's what it was.You guys did the mash.And then we did the fuck the monster fuck.
So we went for breakfast earlier this week.I went for breakfast earlier this week.I will say right now the Canadian Monopoly games are going on, which is like we have we have McDonald's. monopoly in America, but they have it in Canada.
I'm holding up the game board right now.And they have different names for shit because it's Canada.So for instance, instead of, you know, Baltic Avenue, it's Rideau Canal.Instead of Park Place, it's a Fairmont Le Chateau Frontenac.
They're all like and instead of Toronto Airport instead of the short line railroad.It's the Toronto Airport So it's all shit like that.
Is there a football team up here called the front annex?I Don't know these the Argo knots that's already yeah, I feel like what's a front.I've heard that word before I know it's a little Canada on there.
I don't know Canada's on here
You need your reading glasses to read.
Oh, you know what?Jail is Little Canada.That's what it is.Instead of going to jail, you go to Little Canada.You get shrunk down?You get little eyes and you go to Little Canada.
The Kensington Frontenacs is a hockey team.Is that what you're saying?
Oh, fun.Okay.There you go.What league?
So I went for breakfast early this week.It's the Canadian Monopoly games are going on right now, so that's a lot of fun.
I got the I got the Canadian exclusive breakfast item I got is the spicy egg and hash brown breakfast wrap made with a freshly cracked Canadian free run egg and processed cheese, which is what they call American cheese up here.
I guess they have no concept.
Processed cheese topped with spicy habanero sauce, shredded lettuce, tomato and a crashy crispy hash brown, all wrapped in a soft white flour tortilla.Now, Emma, what did I text y'all?That's some bitch had a kick.
I'm a bit of a heat seeker, and there actually was a little bit of a burn here, which I was pleasantly surprised by.I enjoyed this wrap.I would not normally get the McDonald's breakfast wrap.That's just not a sort of thing I do.
I don't really want to start the day with a low-quality tortilla.I'd rather have the biscuit there or whatever, or the McGriddles, but it was pretty good.
The other thing I did is I had a hash browns, which we won't talk about, and I also had a coffee, but the Canadian version I had is the double-double, which is what they called—you're not thinking about eating that burger. I know you are coffee.
It's a double double is two creams, two sugars.They have this at Tim Hortons.I had it at Tim Hortons.I found it with punishingly sweet.It's also a very white coffee adds 210 calories, which is a lot to a medium coffee.
And here, I think it was a little better, but it may be just because I like the McDonald's coffee more than the Tim Hortons coffee, but it still was just a little too sweet for me, but it was an interesting experience.
I also got the chocolate brownie muffin, and Mitch, that's another thing that you got at Before Little Canada.This is a moist like a brownie with a decadent taste of chocolate mixed with sweet chocolate chips on top of country brownie pieces.
I mean, it was just a chocolate muffin.I don't think there was anything brownie-like about it, but it was fine.
Well, just like you, I'm a bit of a ch-ch-de-chalet heat seeker. And she did.Yes.
Is Toronto really known as like a French?Okay.
I was doing it too, but like you made a bit out of it.
Canada has two official languages, French and English.So we're trying to and you'll see signage will be in both at most places.
So cats instead of cats. Uh, the for the wrong, you can see that the cats and chats, you know, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot.
Now we're talking every feline.
Oh, that's good.I, too, got a good drop. I do got the breakfast wrap.Breakfast wrap.It's a breakfast wrap.Egg, bacon, sizzle, sizzle.Give me that mayo.Drizzle.
Very good.Drizzle of mayo.
Uh, pretty good.Pretty good.Rapids of breakfast.
I did one another drop another drop.Take your credit.Take a crack at a couple of drops.Send him in the drop king.He'll have some notes for you.It's a workshop you can enroll in, but he gets you his the number show.
He gets you on the show.He gets you on the show.
Takes a year at least in a couple of rounds of notes.Play the game.
Climb the ladder.Work your way up.You will get on the show. Speaking of cracks, the crack of that fresh egg going in my breakfast wrap, there was two eggs in there wise, delicious.Yeah.The kick, there was a kick to that bad boy.
A little bit of a kick.To that sumbitch.Yeah, that's right.And two eggs in there, which I appreciated.Lettuce though, do you need lettuce?I did not need the lettuce.Mitch, that is a great point.
I absolutely did not need the lettuce in there.
Who needs breakfast lettuce?I generally don't need breakfast lettuce.
It's weird.Yeah.You don't need that.You don't need the breakfast.What is the lettuce?Because my thing today had lettuce and just kind of gives a little bit of a crunch, I guess.But like the McDonald's lettuce is just soggy ish.
Like it's there's so few crackles in there.
The shredded iceberg lettuce usually is like, you know, a neutral at best.Yeah.
If you get bad version of it, like when you taste it, it's like just kind of old.But if you get the fresh stuff, it works.It's a little crunch.The breakfast I liked quite a bit.
We got it before.I'm hoping to get some little crunches today when I trick or treat. With your what?When I trick-or-treat this afternoon.
Oh, right.Little crunches, little fun-sized crunch bars.You want to join me in the monster squad?Yes, I do.You got to pretend to be a monster.
I don't know which one you can pass for.I'll be... Who was that dashingly handsome monster that everyone loved?He had a great personality.Who was that?I forget. Leprechaun.
He's Dr. Jekyll.Oh, that's what it is.Dr. Jekyll.
Yeah.We're going to Little Canada and we're over at Little Canada.It's a little bit far.And, you know, you've been in Hanford.You experienced this this morning.I'm the guy who's stressing out about time, which is like, don't worry about it.
The truth lies somewhere in the middle.I didn't think we had enough time for you to go to McDonald's and get breakfast.I thought we had to go get to Little Canada. You were like, we'll be OK.It'll take like 10 minutes.
The guy, Jay, who helped us out at Little Canada, who was a delight, absolute delight, as were all the staff there.He was like, oh yeah, it's right there.And to me, it looked like way far down the block because the sign was small.
But it was like a five minute walk.
I said, start timer.I bet you I can do this in 10 minutes, which I think I would have been, or 15 minutes. which I think I would have been close to.Yeah, it was.It was.
I did start the timer.It was closer to 22 to 25 minutes, but that we sat down and sat down and ate.
I was going to get the food and bring it back.I would have been back.
It worked out fine.You were correct.And I'm glad that Jay, who was a local and had that local knowledge of the area, guided us through it.
Jay also told us because we said, does breakfast stop at 10 30?The big daddy question.We weren't sure.Yeah.
Does breakfast stop at 10.30 or 11?Jay was confident that it stopped at 11.He was like, it's 11.Like he just knew it.And he went over there and he was right.If he was wrong, I was going to little-ize him.
That's what I should do with Quincy.Little-ize and eat it?Not eat it.Little-ize and just kind of see what happens.You're going to downsize us?Downsize Quincy?
Downsize, yeah.So we went over there.We had the time.Yeah. We got that breakfast wrap.I also did the, what was the meat breakfast wrap?The, the, uh, oh shit.
I think it was just a bacon, egg and cheese wrap.
Oh, there was, but there was sausage too.Basic bacon.There was sausage in there.I'll look up the exact name of the menu item.Which, which I liked quite a bit, but it didn't have that kick, that kick from the, from the, uh, the egg and hash brown.
And I loved the little hash brown in there too.That was fun.The hash was great for texture.The McDonald's hash Browns a little just cut up kind of like a little square guy.It wasn't like it wasn't like the regular.
Well, it probably was maybe cut up, I guess it was the sausage, bacon and egg breakfast wrap is what it was.That's the one.Yeah.And that also had a hash brown inside, which it was good as hell.Yeah, I love that.
The the other thing is that we got is the doughnuts.We got little doughnuts Yeah, and they have these little these little guys these they're they're they're just tiny little doughnuts I wish I had a good Homer Simpson impression.
I so wish right now.Did somebody say doughnuts?I can't do it.I can't do it.
Happy Halloween Bart, be safe outside. Happy Halloween, Homer.Have a free beer.Oh wow, a free beer on Halloween.Hey Bart, can I go with you too?To trick or treat?Wow, Milhouse is here.Hey, hi Milhouse.Hi Homer.Hey, Homer!Hey, it's Barney.
I hope we all go to church together on Sunday.Yes, that's right.Halloween is spooky and we... We need to go worship the Christian God.Yes, to level things out.Homie, I'm wearing my Harley Quinn costume. You look very attractive, Marge.
Oh, homie, stop doing your catchphrase.
And scene.Wow.We're improvisers.You said you gave it up.Yeah, right.
I can't give it up. Uh, we got the, uh, we got, we got, you get a sixer of these little, little sumbitches.
Uh, the double glazed little donut, the Boston cream little donut, the sprinkle little donut, the Coke cookies and cream little donut, and the maple caramel little donut.L I apostrophe L donut, which is a lot of fun.
The maple cream, I I usually don't like that in the maple cream type stuff.Yeah, maple caramel.And it was it was caramel.It had it inside.It was like a filled donut, which I was not expecting.
It's pretty fucking good.
Pretty good.I also like that Boston cream.Boston cream was good.Sprinkle was maybe my favorite.I love sprinkles.And it's you know, it's I just it's like akin to a birthday flavor.The double glaze was fine.The cookies and cream tasted like nothing.
That was the weirdest one.Yeah.Said no flavor to the cookies and cream part.When I moved out to L.A., they call me Boston cream for a while.
They did sorry I'm looking something up that was pertinent, but I can't find it now um ever We were in we were in Boston pizza the other I know relation to Boston at all That's right, but uh funny the way it is by Dave Matthews band was playing in the very appropriate video We didn't talk about the Boston pizza ads that were playing in the background Because like they had they had music videos that were intercut with their Boston pizza TV commercials that
a Canadian I've never heard yes it's a Canadian chain it's very big in Canada and they had a one of them was like a was like someone in like a gimp suit like and they were like kind of no that was the music video that was the music video wasn't a Boston music video okay I was like what the fuck is this ad you're the much music headquarters
The other one was a Boston Pizza ad though, right?Where the one they were doing like the, uh, the night of the Roxbury headshake?
No!That was a music video!Wait, what?
They were playing music videos, you freak!I thought that was a Boston Pizza ad!Did we- was it on the episode?Ads in their own place!Come hear more!
Did you tell me that one was a Boston Pizza ad?
I mean, maybe I- you fool, I lied to you!
Did we do it on the episode when you asked Joe what it was like to wear the mask?And I told you it was like a like when you have a ball gag.Yeah.I just I didn't know if we had done it or not.But but this brings up another point to get to.
We were we were driving over here today and then. Uh, it's funny the way it is reminds me of this.You were saying I don't know Rush.Canadian band Rush.
Which maybe has been resolved by this point.We're plotting.We're recording a little out of suit guns.We're plotting a Doughboys double episode where I, you know, maybe we'll get up to speed on this discography.
I do not know YYZ.I probably have heard YYZ before at some point in my life.Is that their main, like their big?
It's one of their instrumentals.Yeah, but you said an album.
No, it's a track.Oh, it's off of moving pictures.He doesn't know that well either. And then in the car you said, I said, I know Rush, and you said, you didn't know Tom Sawyer.One of the roasts was today's Tom Sawyer, and you were like, what's that?
Today's Tom Sawyer, I was like, what the fuck are you talking about?I don't get it.If you just heard those words, yeah, I would not jump right to Rush.
In the context of a Canadian roast, though.I don't know what the fuck you're doing.It's fine.Everything's fine.You know the song.
Today, Tom Sawyer, mean, mean pride.Can I prove it any more than that?No, I believe you.I don't know why you have to prove it.
Because these people. These people are trick-or-treating and listening to us.
Oh, they'll jump on you for not knowing who Russia is?Yeah.Well, don't you think maybe it's time they got something better to do? Leave Mitch alone.He knows a lot about music.Yeah, I do.You do.But we all have our blind spots.
I don't know that I did like earlier when I confused Kenny Rogers or Michael McDonald.
That's I think that they kind of look similar.
I wouldn't know much of anything about Dave Matthews band if it weren't for you.So like we all have our blinds.
Well, we were saying you're saying like with the fifth most known Rush song, would you know the fifth most known Dave Matthews song?I think Dave Matthews, maybe you would know the fifth I might yeah, but it's also Dave Matthews.
I think it had more commercial success than Rush.
Yeah, what are Rush's big, like Tom Sawyer and Limelight?
Tom Sawyer's Spirit of Radio, I think is the other one.Spirit of Radio.
All right, we're gonna get into this in a double.
Limelight's a song, right?
Limelight, yeah, yeah.We might get into this in a double.We'll see what happens.Roll the Bones.
That's like an old... Why does it happen?Because it happens.Roll the Bones.Roll the Bones.
We'll talk about it.We'll talk about it. Getty Lee has a big... Why are we here?
Because we're here to roll the bones.
Getty Lee has a big baseball collection, signed baseball collection.That's amazing.Yeah, I just happened to see it on Instagram.
It was like, you know, he's probably got a mansion somewhere and he walks in this like oak room with all these tons of balls all over the place.That's so cool.
Balls on the walls, he said.Roll the bones, appropriate for today's episode, Halloween episode.
Right that's right even rush rush to get that candy kids I remember when that bird was in McDonald's the the bird said you know my favorite rush song is roll the hollow bones Cuz cuz just like you Mitch I heard that I was like wow I wouldn't jump I'm hearing roll the hollow bones I would immediately think rush
Which does bring up the question, is there some sort of bird rush band that exists?Well, I looked it up, there's a bird rush band.
Oh, there is a bird.You know what their name is?What?Nest.
Instead of Neil Pert, it's Fly Pert is their drummer.
Because he doesn't kneel, he flies. And then Getty B, birds and bees.Yeah, it's Getty B, yeah, like birds and bees, yeah.And Alex Lifeson is Alex... Birdson?
Alex The person that you are the bird kingdom is crazy.It's crazy over there I threw a fry to the bird and then a lady came and scared him.
Oh, yeah, right Yeah, she was almost kicking him.I saw a blue jay the other day.I was in Massachusetts I got up early.I was walking my brother's dog and And I saw this blue jay just going back and forth the street.
And I think blue jays are known to be like very territorial.Oh, interesting.And like kind of like mean to other, not mean, I mean, I guess they have feelings, but like they like pick on other birds to get them away from their stuff.
You can tell this one was really like running the I was in a like a sort of town square, let's call it.But you could tell he was kind of like running things in there.Wow.And I took note.And was it was it Vlad Guerrero Jr. ?
Well, no, but at one point the bird was hitting me with a baseball bat.Oh, my God.You're terrifying.
All right.All right.Let's get on track.You know, it's crazy about because I was talking to this bird a little bit because of the new Zelda game is out.Right.And I was like, in our Zelda, I don't know if you know about this.
There's the there are the Rito.
Was he was he like, wait, Canadian or American?
So, you know, I said, no, I made a human Zelda.
I said, I said, fair question.Understandable question.But I'm talking about human Zelda and human Zelda in the Zelda universe in the Zelda canon.There are the Rito who are the bird like, you know, anthropomorphic human bird creatures.
And I was like, I'll take your word for it.Do they have Rito in in bird Zelda?And he was like, well, no, because that's just normal to us.Yeah, right.So we actually have Uh, we have Ito.
They're, they're, they're styled after Judge Ito from the Ogre Simpson trial.
There's a tribe of Judge Itos?There's a tribe of Judge Itos.You know who would love that?Jay Leno.Well, let me try out this new Zelda game.Oh!Come on, Jay.That's crazy.I made a damn thing Ito.Yeah, they racing games?Get the Master Sword, Jay.Come on.
You know, uh, I was talking to that bird.I was like, oh, there's no drive-through here.He's like, I remember, yeah, I overheard this comment.He was like, drive-thru?You mean fly-thru?I said, no, no, drive-thru.Yeah, yeah.
Well, we don't usually drive too much.Some of us have cars, but we don't drive much.
Oh.Should we keep going here?Yeah, we'll keep going.I mean, with the episode.Should we stop?What do you think, Emma?
I don't know, you mean just the episode or the whole podcast?Just like nuke the whole thing?
I think it's actually one of our best episodes.
I think it's going great.When you guys are done with doing Doughboys, when you stop doing this podcast altogether, will you go and just erase all the episodes from the net? That's a great call.Purge them all, they're just gone forever.
Once you guys are done with it, it's done.
I'm gonna delete everything but post episode 400 that we deleted.Wow, I like that.That's all that exists.
Oh, that also you probably have a copy of.You got it, remember?
Yeah, but I didn't keep it.I should've downloaded it, but I just listened to it on whatever the thing was.Oh, so I am the only one.Yeah, you're the only one.
You fool, you had the power to keep it.
I know, but I didn't think I would be that... I didn't know the power I wielded at the time. That's what that was Susser was pissed because he thought he was the only one who heard it.
You're like Mike had it Birds have fly-throughs instead of dry water under the bridge.Yeah, you know how they get to the airport.How's that?Oh
So, we had, Hanford, we had this breakfast on our own.A couple days later, we meet you at the McDonald's near our hotel.I have in my notes, a bird came into the restaurant.Did we talk about that at all?Yeah, we covered it.
We touched on that.Yes, yes.
This is a Canadian exclusive.We plucked every feather on that topic.So, they say.Keep going, Ryker.
So I got a this is the Big Arch is a two 100% Canadian beef patties layered with three slices of white processed cheese and topped with crispy onions, slivered onions, pickles, lettuce, so onions two ways and delicious arch sauce served on a toasted sesame and poppy seed bun.
Yes, this is the thing.The poppy seeds are added to the sesame seeds.You get two seeds on this thing.I was talking to that bird and that bird was like, where's my bird seed?
Yeah, two seeds.No wonder why the damn thing got him in the building.Multiple seeds.You know, I got a bird feeder out back.This is true.I put a bird feeder out back at my house here in Los Angeles.
And then Wally and Irma watching them all day long.You know what you should get?
I got from my mom for her birthday.She loved it.A little a little.It looks like a picnic table that like sticks into the wall.Oh, yeah.Sticks into a tree and squirrels go up and eat.That's fun.That's adorable.Sure. I got a sandwich for your mom.
It's a good gift.Good mom gift.
Here's the thing.I would have rather just had a, this is one of those things I'd rather just had a Big Mac or a, uh, you know, two patties, a double quarter pounder with cheese.
I mean, like this is like a double quarter pounder with different sauce, with two types of onions, with different cheese.
And I just feel like all these different components, all these changes, I'm just like, it stops tasting like the McDonald's I enjoy.You know what I mean?
Grant, one of the producers at Twisted Metal, informed me of the Big Arch.This isn't Hugh Grant, is it?
It is Hugh Grant.Is he still in his Oompa Loompa costume?
I met Hugh Grant while I was up here.Really?That's cool.Is he on the show?I went to a TIFF screening of Heretic.Wow.I went with Patty and Jono from the show.Very cool.Yeah, he wouldn't take us. And I got into this screening because of
the wonderful Mrs. Commissioner, Mrs. Sussman.Jamie, Jamie got me into this screen.And it was a great movie.I had a lot of fun watching it.Also, I believe got you into Megalopolis, is that correct?That is also true.She did get me into Megalopolis.
She rules.She pulled a lot of strings.Thank you, Jamie.Thank you, Jamie.
Also for the amazing commissioner certificate we got earlier.
Yes, and also for putting up with our bullshit when we take away your husband for stupid. He also tries to come down and eat a lot of our food, to be fair, but we do take him away from you.Was he married to a bird?
Married to Evan Susser.Ah, well, we were talking about something coming down and eating our food.Susser texted us earlier.I didn't realize once Susser and his wife come up, we don't joke at all.I'm so sorry.The bird jokes we don't do.
Not when we're talking about Susser.
Now we're talking about the Sussers.This guy runs a lot of this stuff.
Susser texted us earlier, what are you bringing me back from Canada?Sounds like you want some maple syrup.Yeah, I think you want some Hawkins cheesies.
We'll figure it out.Okay, we'll figure it out.But I talked to Hugh Grant.I was trying to talk to people.I was being annoying and I was trying to talk to the director.What lenses did you use?I asked him which lenses he used.
And I was like, I'm gonna talk to Hugh Grant.I'm gonna talk to Hugh Grant. And so he has a lot of monologues in the movie.And so I went to talk to Hugh Grant.Oh, I know what movie you're talking about.Yeah, that looks good.
And I tapped him on the shoulder.And I was like, hey.And then they were like, it's Hugh's birthday.And they were like, happy birthday to you.And it was like you and me facing each other.I was singing happy birthday to Hugh Grant.
I was like, happy birthday to you.He was looking at me the entire time.It was fucking weird. And it was so, it was like the worst timing to do it.And they sang happy birthday to him.And then... Just looking right at you.
And then afterwards, I was like, I finally got to talk to him.And the lovely, the lead actress there, Sophie Thatcher.Sophie Thatcher, yes.She's great.And she was a big fan of Love.
Who isn't in these troubled times?That's a great point.
And so I talked to her for a while, and then I finally got to talk to Hugh Grant. And I said to him, I asked him the dumbest question.I said, how do you memorize all those lines?That's what I said to him.Really?
Yeah, because he monologues the whole movie.He just has a ton of monologues.And he said, it was like learning a dance.That's what he said to me.
Wow, how do you how do you memorize lines cuz I when you audition stuff I do you have like a You get a lot of lines you get to do for this season of twisted metal.
How do you get those?It's like read read read at all or read them all I'll tell you I forget Somebody told me I was asking an actor like a stage actor what how they memorize lines and she was like you connect them to like movements and
Oh, that's like, oh, okay.Yeah.So yeah, sometimes if you do something that, I feel like, do you, do you not have the rehearsal app?I just, I just, is it the one that where that scrolls?Yeah.And then you just do the other lines.
And then, so if you're here, I think once you hear the other lines, it helps you remember it so much more.That's what I do a lot.Yeah.We'll network.
I feel like I'm missing a trick.
When it act in sketches or there's a hardest I was like I can't forget fucking remember all this shit How do I keep like keeping a whole sketch in my head was such a challenge?And you see watch someone do a play is like you're doing a whole play.
How do you remember all that shit?
But you know what acting is maybe one of the hardest things But then when you're doing a play like you do it every single day Yeah, that's got to be also challenged to like right not just be like do them as if they're nothing.Oh
I guess that's where the craft comes in.I guess so, yeah.
Remember when we did Hot Doggin'?Hot Doggin' was the big first show.
And we did that so many times, I think I could still do that show now and know the lines.
If I got, like, the lines leading up to stuff, I might be able to do it.
What's going on out here?What are you boys doing?That's the first line I had in the show.
That's why I didn't know the lines.
I would just yell, we're doing something!
That's the old lady who's the pop.
Anyway, I met Hugh Grant.Oh, Grant.Grant, one of the producers for Twisted Metal, great man.
And saying that his name is Hugh and it's happy birthday to you, that's crazy.A happy birthday to Hugh, it kind of works great.
If you forget the guy named Hugh's name and his birthday, you can just sing happy birthday dear Hugh and it kind of, you can get away with it.
Yeah, I mean, you're not going to know that.
You're not going to know that you got away with it until maybe later.And someone's like, that was Hugh Grant.I was like, oh shit.
Do you know my name was it just that you sounds like you I Know your name, but I don't know your age Grant was like, hey, there's this big arch.He was telling me about this big arch.Yeah.
And you're like, yeah, in St.Louis, I know about it.
It's common knowledge in the United States, which their mascot is a bird cardinals.That's true.Yeah.
The red bird, the red bird.Yeah.I the bird.But the bird that was said that was his favorite baseball team.
Oh, the one at McDonald's today?
Not the Blue Jays.He's like, I don't know, the Blue Jays like the Cardinals.Huh.Damn.
Maybe the territorial thing or something.So Grant said, the Big Arch.He said, you gotta try the Big Arch.And I was like, I'll wait for you to try it.I got drunk and I tried it that night.Yeah.I didn't wait for him.I felt bad.Sorry, Grant.
And do you know what else lies?Yeah.It's what it was the thunder and lightning night.
Creepy.And so, uh, I, uh, I ate it and I kind of loved it the first time I had it.Like, uh, look, uh, guilty as charged.Um, I, I, uh, I don't think it's as good as a Big Mac.I like a Big Mac more.It's a little too beefy.Le Big Mac.Le Big Mac.
We talked about this.We got a really non-beefy Big Mac today.But we talked about the burgers at Harvey's and how they just kind of have like an Angus thicker taste that I didn't love.
Like you can taste the burger?
Did you ever go to the sex workers, Harvey?I'm going to say this.This is not an appropriate term anymore, I don't believe.But they called it the hooker Harvey's.Yeah. Did you ever did you know about this?
I know I don't think I've been to a heart.
I think I need to see how she knows what we're talking about I can't really picture it.Yeah.
Yeah, if you Google hooker Harvey's the address will come up on Google It's like even Google knows it is Okay, all right.
I'm just I'm just looking up the Harvey's.I don't know if we're gonna have time.
Let's go tonight.Oh OK, sounds like we should try and get McDonald's already.I just like we already got Arby's.Maybe we'll do something nice for dinner tonight.There's a lot better food that we haven't eaten in this.
Yeah, I just want like a fucking salad or something.All right, we'll figure it out.We'll get you out of here.
It's not like it's I've eaten more food in the last 24 hours than I normally do in like a week.
We went to Lee Restaurant last night.
We're stuffed.We had a lovely dinner last night at Lee Restaurant.I think that kind of works for me as like the big dinner of the trip.
You're getting out before you're celebrating my birthday.We're not going to celebrate my birthday together.
Jesus Christ.I knew this was going to be a fucking thing.
Oh, poor... Oh, what a complaint that he doesn't want his friend to celebrate his birthday.You know who he's going to?This friend right here.The man. And he's excited about it.
We're gonna see Joker.Right?
Whenever you want to see, but I thought that would be... No, but that's nice.Just enjoy your salad alone.This is a good birthday celebration for me, you piece of shit.We can go have a nice... I just thought we had a nice dinner last night.
We can go have a nice dinner.
Let's go have a cone.Why don't we have a cone tonight?
I'd love to have a cone.I'd love getting some ice cream.We got some... We went out and got some ice cream a couple nights ago.It was a lot of fun.Have you gone to Eva's yet?No, I haven't.
That's on my list, I wanna go, I haven't gone yet.
It's so good.Let's go.Is this a creamery?It is a creamery, but it's, what are the cones called?
I forget what they're called, but they're like... Chimney cones.Yeah, they're like a pastry kind of cone that they wrap around something and bake, and then they fill it with ice cream, so it's not... That sounds fun.It looks delicious.
It was the best thing I ate at the X. I ate at the X and it was fantastic.
We went to Summers and we had ice cream.
Anyway, all right, get back in.
Big Arch, Big Arch.I think our verdict is maybe kind of split.What did you feel the second time eating it?
I like it.I think I like, I mean, I like the Big Mac more.The Big Mac is just perfect.Yeah.And this is like a fun, it still has a good McDonald's taste.It doesn't taste like, the burger doesn't taste that different.
No, the burger tastes like McDonald's.It's true.It's just like enough components have been changed where it starts to feel like something else entirely to me. I but I like the Big Arch sauce.
I think it's all right.I think the thing that did absolutely did not work, which I want to try because I saw this on the menu available and I was like, I'm amazed that this is available in Canada by default is the Big Mac.No meat.
I've never heard of a no meat thing ever.Yeah, there's always the no bread substitute.
No, you get a Big Mac, no meat.And it is three buns, sauce, cheese and lettuce.
I was mad at you when you ordered it.
And then I was mad when I ate it.
Yeah, I it's it was it was truly bad.It was really awful.It was it was it was it was bad.Yeah, I mean, it just I didn't try it.You need the beef in there, turns out.
But you said it was better than eating plain hot dog buns.
It was better than when we did.You know, we did a dog bark fest a month longer liberation of hot dogs and pet dogs a few years back.And I was not eating any meat.And I had just buns all month.It was a better experience than that.
I can't remember sketch lines, but
You can't remember an episode we did a month ago, two months ago.I'll say this.Yeah.You can't necessarily say that it's bad because it is like all the components have been right.But it's just like the lettuce is so on display.
It's like eating a lettuce sandwich.It stops becoming it stops being a menu item.
It's just like its own thing.Feels like the beef is more just like more of a texture or consistency thing.Like it would feel weird to bite into something that's just.Yeah, right.Yeah.
I don't know. Uh, you got the sweet chili junior chicken.Yep.
Your taste buds will be singing a whole new tune with a remix sweet chili junior chicken made with Canadian raised crispy seasoned chicken topped with crunchy shredded lettuce, tangy sweet chili sauce and mayo style sauce.All on toasty toasty bun.
Taste buds sing a different song.
Yep.They came in singing the, uh, um, the national American national anthem and. I was singing the Canadian on the way out.Anyway, we can edit that out, I'm sure.I'm sure we have the technology.No, no, can't do that.It's gotta stay in, baby!
Alright, that's fine, that's fine.I just stumbled because I couldn't think of what the American National Anthem was called. The Star Spangled Banner.Yeah, we love it.I got the chicken sandwich, the habanero sauce was the kicker there.
Do we know who wrote O Canada?Because Francis Scott Key wrote the lyrics to Star Spangled Banner.I don't know who's the author of the O Canada lyrics.
That's a great question.Francis Scott Key, that may have been I have to think for just a second.
I'm looking at America.Think about that.Yeah.It's probably Francois Scott Bird Fob.
I just looked up.You want to know who it is?Yeah, who? You guys are going to kick yourself when I tell you who it is.Yeah.You don't want to take a guess?Uh, Alanis.No, she's way too young.You got one?You're going to be shocked.Are you ready?
Is it someone we would know?Like we've heard this name before.
Oh, you would know who it is.We would know who it is?Tell me who it is.Who is it?Dudley Do-Right.
That's crazy.I would argue that the animators actually wrote the song then.What are you talking about?He's based on a real guy.Oh, nothing big.Just that Dudley Do-Right is a fucking tune.I would love it.Look, I've said it before.
This is probably a platform I'll run on when I try to take over Quincy.We need to get these tunes off the screens and into the streets. I want to see these little guys.I want to see the Smurfs.You want some sort of Roger Rabbit Society?Yes.
I can get behind that.And that movie set us back so many years.I know.Because it doesn't have to go down that way.
Oh Canada.This guy's going to... Originally... He's a big dip guy.
Go ahead.I love the dip.Dip shit.Oh Canada. was originally written in French.It's a it's a French language song that was adapted into English.
Sir Adolf Basil Routhier wrote the French version, and then it was the most famous English language version is by Robert Stanley Ware.So there you go.
I don't know if the listeners will like this episode, but I'm having a blast. I'm having fun.They'll learn a few things about birds at least.Did you like that sandwich?
Yeah, that I liked.I had a bite of it.It tasted pretty damn good.
It was pretty much what they do in the U.S., but that sauce was the best.Yeah, a nice little tangy kick there.The best is the wrong word, but it was nice.
You also got a cheeseburger and fries.How did those compare to their U.S.counterparts?Fries, exactly the same.And cheeseburger, yeah, pretty much the same. Emma, you got yourself a double cheeseburg.
How'd you like that sunbitch?It was delicious.And Mars, remind me what we brought over to you.Was it the BLT?
It was their belt, their bacon, egg, lettuce, tomato.What I love that they have in the McDonald's Canada menu is they can do things on bagels, on sesame bagel, everything bagel.
I think they're out when you guys... So I just got the McMuffin, which isn't as good.
A breakfast, yeah.How was it, bad boy?They were doing breakfast and lunch when we were there.
Well, mine's a few hours old at this point, but usually when it's fresh on a bagel, it is quite nice However, it can be really hit-or-miss.
Sometimes if the bagel is like freshly toasted, it's great Sometimes they toast it too hard and it could be a solid rock So it's really on both ends of the lettuce to the lettuce is always a question mark.
I think I like the lettuce, it adds some freshness to all the yellow and brown.Do you have a favorite bagel?
Do you have a favorite?Is there a good bagel scene in Toronto?Is that more of a Montreal thing?
I love a Montreal-style bagel.I've actually been on a quest to find the best everything Montreal-style bagel, and my current favorite is at Bagel Time. Bagels, FYI.
Yeah, in Toronto, super light bagel.They're kind of sweeter.I could eat like three of them and I still won't be full.I think every time I have a bagel sandwich there, I always think, damn, that was a really good bagel.
Wow.Is it a big, is it a big, like eating three bagels to me seems like a bagel is too big to eat.
I just wrote down they're quite small and they got a big hole to them.So you'd snack on.
Burger time video game, right?
Yeah, it was a video time.Peter Pepper, the chef was trying to build giant burgers.Oh, it was Peter by stepping on the stuff to make.Yeah, not particularly sanitary, which you know what?He must have been a little eyes.
Because those burgers are way bigger than him.That's probably what happened.He went a little canned, got a little lies, and he was like, well, I got to monetize this thing somehow, make some burgers.
Because that was in game.That was like an arcade game in like the 80s.It was an arcade game in the 80s, yeah.So that was before you could big eyes stuff.So they wouldn't have big eyes burgers.There was no way to big eyes.
You think he was just in there?
You think he was just in the machine or something?He was just in the machine, yeah.If you hit it, he'd be like...
Well, that's the thing.They're all they're all in the machine and then at night when the the arcade's closed They go to a big game central station and they hang out.
Oh, right Yeah, they're like talking like Zangief, you know, yeah to chat with Sonic and so forth.
Okay, so the Bagel belts are a thing here in in Canada.I haven't had a bagel belt I know you can get one of Tim Hortons, but bagel belts bagel belt.
Didn't you try wearing one through Queens Park and Have you seen the squirrels are all black yeah, that's cool.
Yeah, it's cool.I've heard the black squirrels will attack you Isn't that isn't that a thing is that true?
I have personally never been attacked and we're seeing anyone get attacked But if you are like on a campus where people are known to feed the squirrel sometimes they get a little overconfident Jump out of you.
Yeah, I do remember being able to especially in Queens Park.That's Queens Park right near yeah I'd have to cross that to get to most of my classes and Yeah, the squirrels will come right up to you.
Wow.I told you I saw some foxes on the University of Toronto campus.Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.Little red foxes.Very cute.
We talked about it in another episode.We'll post the video.I got to check out Bagel Time. Always bagel time for me, I'm a big bagel fan.
All right, so the other Canadian exclusive thing we had was the poutine.Rich and tasty gravy, melty mouthwatering cheese curds on our world famous fries, you better believe it.
So here's the issue with the poutine, Mitch, and you articulated this well.It just wrecks the key element of the McDonald's fries, which is the crispy texture.
And Emma didn't hear us making that point, she made the same point just a minute later.Yeah.
Me not listening at lunch?What?
No, I mean, I'm saying I made this point and then you try them and you made the point too.
I mean, yeah, it was gross.
They get they just get kind of mushy.But this is something I've had poutine, I think four times, maybe five times while I've been up here.This was the my least favorite execution of poutine.I think the curds were not melted enough.
I thought they were just kind of like inert.I thought the gravy was just like lacking in flavor versus some other ones I've had. And I've just also just give me the give me the if you're not better than the default, why fucking bother?
And I'd rather just have the McDonald's fries as they come.
It's like it's the way McDonald's does.Remember when they would do like pizza?I never had it, but I could imagine what that is.Same way with the poutine is like I can picture what this is going to be when it comes out.
Just a mess of like subtracting the qualities of everything else.One other issue.
It's not called McPoutine.Come on, write McPoutine on the packaging.What are we doing here?Well, I guess I get it.Yeah. I get what you're saying.
The frustration on top of that is that there is a fry varietal we were more excited to try, which is the McShakers.They have a ramen McShaker fries, tzatziki McShaker fries, churros McShaker fries, and masala McShaker fries.
This is like a spice package that comes and then you put it into the bag and you shake it up.There's some other fast food chains.Tommy's used to have something like this.
Tommy's is a good burger.
I do like that Tommy's burger. But they did not have this in stock at this McDonald's, and we cannot figure out how to order it online.And again, the McDonald's Canada app is locked out for Americans, so we couldn't find another location with it.
But we did get the Smarties McFlurry and the Reese's Chip-Its and Fudge McFlurry.These are two Canadian exclusive McFlurry varietals.We don't have Smarties as Canadians know them in the States.That is a tablet candy, a sour candy in the U.S.
It is the chocolatey M&M analog in Canada.And I thought the Smarties McFlurry was delightful.I liked it a lot.You didn't like it as much as an M&M McFlurry, and I think this is where we disagreed.
At first.At first.It was so, we talked about this, the texture of the smarties, they're very crunchy.Yes, the chunks like splinter into almost shrapnel.
Yes, and so up top, I mean, I know this too happens with the M&Ms, that they get hard in the McFlurry. But the shell is so crunchy up top.I still think I do like the M&MX Flurry.I wonder what you'll say, Emma, more so.
But as I ate it more, it wasn't mixed.And when I was going down lower and I was getting just a little bit of the Smarties, it was better.There was just too much up top.
The snacks.Here's what I'll say.There's a snack size and there's a regular.I was like, we're sharing this.We got to get the regular.So I was wrong.
We got the regular of the Smarties McFlurry and we got the snack size, the Reese's Chippits and Fudge McFlurry because I wasn't going to have that one because I had peanut butter chips. The snack size was more than enough.And it's it's pretty big.
It's big.But it also comes in packaging where it's like kind of folded paper.Yeah, it's like it's like a kind of a different sort of, I assume, less wasteful versus the plastic cup that we get in the U.S.with the big plastic straw.
And I actually really liked it.I thought it was fun to eat out of.It was cool.
It almost looked like a like a Chinese food to go.Yeah, yeah, yeah.And top like that. Yeah, with a cold sweet cream inside.
Look, I thought that McFlurry was delightful.I really enjoyed it.
Have you ever noticed the ban on plastics in Canada?In all these restaurants, we get wooden spoons and forks and paper straws.There still seem to be... You can't get plastic, but I think it's good.
There still seem to be a lot of like plastic water bottles and plastic soda bottles.I'm kind of surprised those are so pervasive, but I guess it's like one step at a time and we don't have any restrictions like that in the states.
Put them in bags.You put the milk in bags.Put everything in bags. I guess that's still classic.I like cans.
Glass is great.Glass is great, but if you don't have glass because people are going to break glass, fine.Give me a fucking can.You can't go wrong with glass.You can't go wrong with glass.Including the movie.
Saw it with Buster Rhymes.You see Shattered Glass? No, it's a great movie.
You saw it with him in the theater?He was in the theater.
I told you this.He was sitting like this.I stepped in between his legs and I said, thank you for everything you've done.And he was scared.I laughed.He also snored during the movie.
And then a guy whispered, it's Busta's birthday.You had to sing to him.
I still like the McFlurries.I liked, look, I liked the Big Arch.Shout out to Archie Acton, Chankton's dad.What's up, Chankton's dad?Big Arch.I liked the Big Arch.It was, honestly, the real...
The real loser of today's lunch, actually the real loser of everything I've had, was that poutine.The poutine was a bummer, but everything else was great.It just doesn't work at McDonald's.And I guess it's, Mars, have you had McDonald's poutine?
Yeah, I would refuse it truly seems like it's just meant for tourists who want to just try some poutine and they go to McDonald's But it's crazy because it is like it's like the value menu you can get it with fries or with poutine It just seems like it's it's it's yeah when you get a combo, you know an upgrade to poutine But it probably cost them very little to do it.
I mean, it's it's just McDonald's fries or we've said this before I mean it won the tournament it McDonald's fries were the best items in McDonald's tournament.Yes, that's right and Crispy, hot, salted, fresh McDonald's fries.
Of everything from McDonald's, that one that I did with the Taco Bell.Yeah, we did the same thing with McDonald's.
Every menu item at McDonald's in the fries one. And I think for good reason.When they're hot and fresh and good, they're the best.Yeah, they're one of the reasons to go to McDonald's.And this, yeah, it just takes away a lot of it.
I couldn't even tell if they were salted, you know what I mean?
Well, and I also had A&W poutine over the course of this trip, you know, along with Harvey's poutine, Swiss chalet poutine, but the A&W poutine in particular was like really good.And Harvey's poutine, it was delightful.
It was like night and day better than McDonald's.Wait, what was delightful?The A&W poutine.The Harvey's poutine was better than McDonald's poutine.
This was the worst routine I had up here.
For sure.You said that, yeah.
For me, it's someone walking in on me when I'm in the bathroom.I hate that.I'm in a public restroom and the lock doesn't work.I don't know what might happen at any point.What someone's gonna see?Some stranger.They have no business being in there.
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Handman, you've done the podcast, you know how this works.We'll each go around, we'll give it from zero to five forks, this particular chain.We're talking McDonald's Canada, Canada only.
Your thoughts on McDonald's Canada, your fork score.I mean, this is one of the, McDonald's is one of the tops.I didn't have anything that was, I mean, I had some of your guys' stuff, but my order I'm going to five forks.Wow, it's McDonald's.
You know what I mean?It's like the and nothing did.Everything I had didn't taste different than the US.It only added value was like the that habanero sauce, which I said.
Yeah, I'm going to go and I will.Mitch, I'll have you back clean up because you've had a little bit more time with McDonald's Canada.I think you might have some more thoughts.I'm going to say this.
I thought that some of the Canadian exclusive items were not as exciting.Some of them really worked for me.
The overall experience of eating at McDonald's Canada I feel like is just a little bit more hospitable, a little bit more... Much cleaner restaurant.Yeah, yeah.Sanitary than the typical American McDonald's.
You went to the bathroom in that bathroom.Really?My bathroom?Yeah, we were in different bathrooms.Mine was decent. Well, you haven't you didn't do the night experience when the lights go out.
I'm assuming your listeners probably won't have that experience.I went to two different McDonald's and I only use the bathroom at one McDonald's, not the one we went to today.But that that McDonald's bathroom was occupied for a while.
I was ready for it to be a disaster zone.And it was it was fine inside.It was pretty clean.They couldn't leave because it was so nice.Yeah. And then there's there's just like a nice tableau.There's like flowers outside.
You know, it just it just feels like a nicer part of like all the kiosks work like the kiosks were all fun.
I always have a problem on those things, either like I don't get a number or right.They just don't work.Yeah.
Yeah.That that was all that was all very functional.I thought the food quality was great.And, you know, didn't you say when the guy finally came out, it was grimace. It was grimace.Yeah, he was in there for awhile.
Yeah, but he was.He was like all white like all the.
He was thin and white and the toilet bowl was fucking pitch dark purple. Oh, sorry, man.Oh, don't tell my boss, Ronald.
At the end of the day, it is McDonald's.And I'm going to go for five McDonald's Canada.We're going to go with five forks.Yeah.
Everything is at the what are the birdie birdie?Remember the bird came in and.Oh, yeah.
We were like, I'm Ronald.And we're like, you're not birdie.All right, Mitch, I give it five forks.What do you think?
So, OK. We're judging this based off of... McDonald's Canada, off of the Canadian side of the menu.The items, the Canadian items from the menu.It's a tough one.When we went over there, I just want to quickly go over what I had.
I had an orange juice, I had a Double Double as well, I had those two breakfast wraps, I had the chocolate brownie muffin, and we did those little donuts.Yes. Today I got a Coke, I wanna try the McDonald's Coke.
I will say, the American Coke is better than the McDonald's Coke.
I threw the rest of my Coke away, it wasn't spicy like I wanted it to be.
Do they not have the same cartridges that we have in the States?
That's interesting, they might not have the special cylinders.I had a Coke Zero, which I wish they had at American McDonald's, they generally don't.My Coke Zero was a nice pour.
I've had a regular Coke there like three times.
I've got a cool Coke thing to tell you when Misha's done. And and and it Tell it right now.Okay, you know those coke those freestyle machines.Yeah.
Yeah, you know how coke every once in a while like this summer They had a flavor that was like it wasn't even like a word like a fruit flavor It was just like a it was like called dazzle or something stupid.Yeah, they those those
Freestyle machines are used like they track the info on what people are getting so they're basing these new flavors off of like the testing of like oh, wow Yeah, like that's all connected to Us so there's computers that are getting like grape raspberry orange.
Yeah, that's a popular combo and they're like, all right Well, let's like play with it and tweak it better or something like that.
So what is going on?It's not a fun thing It's just like a it's a good coke used to be so fun.Yeah, and now they're just taking yeah
You're blowing this wide open.How did you get this info?What was that noise?What was that noise?What was that chimes?Hold on a second.How are you getting... I heard it on a podcast.You heard it on a podcast?Uh-huh.
That chime, which even comes on when I'm on set, is wags.Here, you want to... Oh, is that the bullshit detector that made that shit up?
It's my bullshit detector.
That's real.I heard that on a podcast.I love it.What that is, is that when I was up here, my place almost got broken into. As you know.
Oh, it's your ring time.Jesus.
So I have a camera set up.Yes.So if there's anyone in my backyard, my little backyard stoop, it knows because the place just a couple down from me, which is connected to my place, got broken into.They kicked the window in and robbed it.
And I was on set, my phone died, and I was like, hey, my phone died.I said this to Samoa Joe.And I went home, and I plugged my phone in, and I got a text from my neighbor that was like, dude, there's a guy robbing our places.
Your light's on in your house.And I was freaked out.I saw, my neighbor saw. And if they do that, Wally and Irma will get out and I'll kill them or myself.
So I have now installed the thing that no matter what, if there's any movement in my backyard, I will get a chime no matter what.The sound will go off.So is that okay with you, Wags?So who's in your backyard?
Squirrel? Guess who was in my backyard?Word must have gone around because there was a bird in my backyard.Wow.
He's right in the camera.He went right into the fucking camera.Wow.Can you send me that?
Of course, I'll send it to you.I'll put it in the YouTube video.
There's a whole bunch of birds around there.He is close to the lens.You know what, Mitch?Get yourself a blue jay.They wouldn't be high stepping like that.
This guy is looking right into my freaking place.
into the camera.Well, you can use this for sort of as an acting lessons because he's looking right at the lens and you see how bad that is.You don't do that yourself.You'll be all right.
I do oftentimes look at it like, what's going on in there?And I also now know that it's like a dance.Learning your lines is like a dance.Sure.I like that.I'm now videotaping this.OK, cool.What's your fork score?
Oh, it seems like he wants me to get to my fork score.Once this video is recorded, I will pick it back up. I have to do it.If you want me to have the video of the bird, I got to do it.OK, here we go.
Even though I probably shouldn't dox myself by releasing this video.
I will say that, like for this for this dumb podcast, every time goes off, your time goes off.It's fine, whatever.When you're on set, you probably should mute your phone.I think that's probably good practice.
And I think that's probably a degree of paranoia if you're not letting yourself this.
It never, it never, it never goes off.And like Harley, it rarely ever goes on.
But has it gone off like during a take or something?
Not yet.I keep it in my I keep it in my chair.OK.
But if it went off during a take, would the set pick it up?Would it sound, would you be able to hear it?Yeah, maybe.So there could be a stunt going on.It's in your chair and it goes off and everyone's like, ah, it's ruined.
What's that chime?It hasn't happened.It's not going to happen.Why don't you just mute your phone?My phone is muted.
That's the only- Why don't you change the settings so that it doesn't- You're not understanding what I'm saying.
The only time my phone ever will make a noise is if there is movement in my backyard.I understand. what you're saying.And that is for me.
But I'm saying to not keep that unmonitored for any stretch of time, for you to not be willing to have that be silent for any stretch of time, to me that seems like you're maybe being a little paranoid.So I would just say like, you know.
Mike, the place next to me just got robbed.I know, I understand.It just got robbed just recently.I know, I understand. While I wasn't there, and if it happened, the cats would have gotten out.So that's all it is.I don't think that that's that crazy.
It hasn't been an issue on set at all, and it never will be.
If I may lighten the mood for a moment, who let the cats out? You know what I mean?Not you.You know what I mean?When you think about it, it's like, who let the cats out?You know what I mean?
No one.No one's letting the cats out.That's the whole point of it.And it is fine.And I don't take my phone with me to set.Why?Because there's a thing called the green room.That's where I keep my phone.In the green room at all times.Anyway.
to get back to my McDonald's.So you can't even hear it.So why not just mute it?Because I keep it on for when I'm in, because one, it never happens again.The fact that I picked up a bird is weird.It never, ever happens.
So this chime is never going off.It's weird that it went off now, but if someone's in my backyard, I'll get that alert even while I'm sleeping and I'll know that someone's in my backyard.
So the other thing is, and you have to keep it on to have it on.Okay.The other thing is, is that I don't take my phone to set. And if it does go off, I can go back and there's an emergency alert on your phone that lets you know.
So you see that there's a that you've got an alert while you're away from your phone.Yes, exactly.Anyways, to get back to my score, I know what you're right.I'll just let someone break into the house.I'm not saying let someone break into your house.
I'm just saying we just go back to fucking California.
I'm going tomorrow.I'm getting the fuck out of here.Fuck out of here.Just checked us into our flight.Oh, fuck.
Yes. Check to see if there's earlier flights.Get the fuck out of here.We don't like it.I love this city.You're just a visitor here.I live here.I've lived here for almost three months.I love this city.He works here.
I've been having a great time in this city.I like to say, you know, you earlier, you were like, is this a top five city?You kind of said it like kind of like almost cynically to me.I was like, is it even a top five city for you?
I think it is a top five city for me.
I think of Toronto is like, is like a nicer, like, like a less harsh Chicago. Yeah, I like the Chicago.That's its charm a little bit of his the food and like the I'm not Cowboys.What's the what's their fucking football team the bear?
It just feels a little like more rah-rah and like fun and like drinking.Yeah, this feels like a low, just like a calmer.I like I like the size and like functionality.
I like Chicago a lot.I've obviously spent a lot more time in Chicago.I think Chicago would be, you know, with one of my top five cities as well.I don't rank them exactly.I'm loving my time in Toronto.
Yeah, lovely Toronto, by the way, just to get back to my alerts.Yeah. The alert only goes off for a person, it doesn't even go off for movement.Seems like it comes out for birds too.
And that's, the phone thought the bird was, the camera thought the bird was a human.
Because it was so big in the frame.
It was, and it looked into the camera.
Wow, give me all your stuff.So if I could just go back to Chicago for a second.Yeah, please.I've been to Chicago three times this year.Wow.
And I'm going back for the Sloppy Boys are playing, listen to this, the Sloppy Boys are playing a New Year's Eve show in Chicago. How fun is that's gonna be like three sets.
We're gonna bring the ball down and everything Chicago New Year's Eve be there with a sloppy.
Come on.I mean Chicago.We I love the Chicago fans and stuff.Yeah, they're always so fun to psychos, but it's also a city if you look at the If you look at the architecture, it's like a lot of big robust like big brick means.Yeah.Oh, yeah.
It's like the whole city is like Just like solid
Like Toronto too, it's just some great walkable areas, some great public transit.I love taking the L there.But that's the big thing, the elevator train there.I love taking the metro in Toronto as well.
And to me, that's just a big part of what I like about city, is just being able to walk around it and being able to get around without a car.
I like Toronto.I gave it a hard time in the first episode.I like Toronto quite a bit.I was with the Wolfman and the Monster Squad, and we took a picture in front of the Bean, and he got really sick.
It's a big Chicago bee.I was put together.Right.Well, here I am.So here's the big silver.Right.
The big silver bean.I know it is Millennium Park, but whatever you should say, all that stuff for your plug section.We have a part of this podcast.We plug stuff.Well, I got a ton of stuff.Well, we'll edit it in there.Back to my score.Yes.
Now that waxes grilled me on the thing about protecting my cats.Here's back to my score of McDonald's. There's some stuff we didn't try.The McShakers, which is the stuff we talked about, the McShakers.The Firecracker Chickens, which were out.
They were on the kiosk, but they were out.We couldn't get them.There's some sort of orange, like an orange drink.It seems like an orange sherbet-y drink.I don't know what that was.
We could not find it on the menu.I don't know who described that to you.
Maybe it's gone, maybe it's gone.But there were a few things that we could not try, unfortunately. But McDonald's is McDonald's.Yeah.And when there's a bird in there, you have an even more.And you know what?It's a bird centric day.And you know what?
I don't think McDonald's is for the birds.I think it's for everyone.Wow.Birds. They got the big worm, as we talked about.It's true.They got a side of flies.We don't have to go back over all the menu items.They get a fly through.
They have a fly through instead of the drive through.I did a Coke, the Big Arch.We did the poutine.We did the two ice creams.We covered all that food. Five Forks.
Wow.Wow.So wait, the highest Forks score getter in Toronto.Wow Platinum.Indeed.Welcome to the Platinum Play Club.
Wow Platinum.Wow.Wow.Just answer me this.Is it like she's a robot in the movie?No.No.Or a droid or something?So it's not even that type of movie.So I don't even know what even to expect when I see.You gotta see this thing.Yeah.All right.
Wow.Wow.Megalopolis.Wow.Platinum.
It's for all of you are dressed up as Megalopolis characters tonight.I'm sure you're going crazy.Yes.
What pop culture person would you be for Halloween this year based on just this year?Nush Berman from Megalopolis.Haktua. I'm doing a good one.Hock to it would be a good one.Does she have like a look though?You kind of almost need like a word bubble.
It says like I spent all my time.Yeah, I'm like the hawk to a person.
You know what?People are going to start referring to me to hawk to hear me coughing over here.Hawk tuna.
It's funny, because I was talking to the bird and he's like. is like, yeah, we say hawk tuna because we have hawks and then we like.
And they have tuna.We like tuna.
You see us in the trash with those little tuna cans.
What's she up to now, the hawk tuna girl?She's got a podcast, have you heard?Talk to her.Talk to her.That's a good name.
And then instead of spit on that thing, they say spit up into your baby's mouth on that thing.Yeah.
Yeah, that thang is the baby.Is the baby, yeah.
Five forks all around.Congratulations to the high fork getter of Toronto.McDonald's Canada.
American chain McDonald's.
Their Canadian outpost.You know what?Congratulations to Hawk too.Congratulations.
Ah boy.Hey, it's time for a segment.Super producer Mars has picked out some snacks for us to try.It's time for Tim Burton's Mars-a-Snacks.Wait, hold on a second.Yeah. Don't we also have a... Is it Tim Burton's or Tim Horton's?No, we're doing this.
We're doing Tim Burton's Marza Snacks.
Why wouldn't it be Tim Horton's Marza Snacks?
We got the quiz.We'll figure out the quiz at some point.
We were yelling two things.I want to yell at him next.It could be Tim Horton's Marza Snacks, but I feel like that's a hat on a hat.Yeah, of course. What about the slob quiz?
What about fucking the snacks that Mars got we're doing you can just say that line?
We're doing these we got hickory sticks.We get hickory sticks original and hickory sticks salt and vinegar.Ooh, here you go Chips make sure the salt and vinegar
So Mars, you got these? They would give them out at houses.They give you a little bag of hickory sticks.
Yeah, like a little bag of hickory sticks.These are by Hostess.I find that the more you eat, the more addicting they are.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.Ooh, wow.So they are just potato chip sticks, right?
Yeah.Hickory stick is a better way of saying that, though.
Yeah, you kind of remind me of a hickory stick.
These are real thin little, let's see if I can hold some up for the lens.These are real thin
I'm kind of haystack sort of yeah look like the French's potato sticks that used to come in the blue really can yeah I got I got some of those like in a blue can right yeah I got some of those recently we're fun my grandma used to give me the hickory this is like a very much with grandma but I've never heard of called hickory sticks that's a cool name let me try those salt and vins Mitch hmm
It's also a savory hostess snack, which I don't think you see very often.
I didn't realize hostess had a savory side.Zero trans fat, zero groms troms.Those are real good.We actually got some smaller bags if you want one for over here.Sorry.All right, we got the salt and vinegar.So Amelia wrote up a slop quiz.
We'll do the quiz.That's pretty good. I think for the purposes of, we're up in Canada, where's some snacks we can't get in the States?This is like, you know, while we're physically up here, I think we could do the quiz at any time.That's good.
Isn't it Canada themed?Oh, the originals.Yeah, but we'll do the quiz at some point.The originals are like barbecue flavored.
They are, they're not just plain.Do they do a bunch of flavors?Salt and vinegar are working for me.
I was only familiar with the original.The salt and vinegar is actually new to me, so I'm curious to try that.
I assume the barbecue flavor kind of comes from the hick like the hickory.Like don't use hickory chips to smoke.That might be it.
Yeah, that would make sense.That's good.Those are good.Those are good.I like those bad boys.Me too.Snack.Both snack bars.A snack.Yeah.Mars is next for sure.
Are you a fan of Mars attack?
Wow, wow, interesting.Is there any Mars movie you enjoy?Mission to Mars, Red Planet.
Mars Attacks is almost like Megalopolis with like the all the celebrity actors.It is very much so.Like that was a movie that was just like Jack Nicholson and.Yeah. And you know what happens to Jack Nicholson?He gets little-ized.
He does get a little-ized to some degree.Does somebody turn into a chihuahua?
Someone turns into a dog.Yeah, they put the, I think, Sarah Jessica Parker's head on a dog.
Yes, that's what I was trying to think.
Sarah Jessica Parker.Very fun.Fun movie.Great movie.Cool movie. Mars, you're also telling us about ice wine.What's going on with ice wine?
Yeah, ice wine.So I'm someone, I don't really enjoy alcohol too much.I'm just not really great with the taste of it.But at the airport, I will often get ice wine, which is wine grown kind of near the Niagara Falls region.
It's like grown with grapes still frozen, or it's like made out of like frozen grapes.Wow.It's a dessert wine.I find it to be incredibly tasty and just really, really delicious.So it's something I'd recommend if you're ever in Canada.
That's cool. I had some.What'd you think?I loved it.Where'd you have it?The Gretzky Vineyard.
I saw Gretzky's wine at the LCBO, the Liquor Control Board of Ontario, when I went inside.I didn't find it at the wine store, but I was looking for ice wine specifically.Gretzky had a vintage, but it was just Pinot Noir.
I had some ice wine at the Gretzky Vineyard.Wow.Did you go to the vineyard? Yeah, was it?I told why is this we talked about in the last episode, but they they pour the wine on the counter and then they take a hockey stick.They slap in your mouth.
Yeah, you should go to the Hockey Hall of Fame.It's fun.
I went to the Hockey Hall.Did you get to play the play the goalie and shootout thing?
Oh, I didn't.I didn't do the goalie thing, but because I read the entire there's 100 years history of the Bruins.I read the 100 year history of the Bruins.I put on just like on the wall.Yeah, it was an exhibit.Wow, that's fine.A lot of fun.
So the exhibit to be the what's that exhibit to be for the Bruins for the Bruins.That's fine.They call the bees.
There was a little Stanley Cup room and I don't think that was the real cup, but it was like, yeah, I think it's I think it's a replica.
And that was Tim Burton's Marza snacks, just like a restaurant of all your feedback.Let's go to the feedback.I got to say, guys, I should not have worn this because it's like it's still pretty cool in here, but I'm still just like, so.
I'm just like getting overheated, so I'm going to I know we're almost done here, but I'm going to take this.
You just take it off.You're speaking in your most natural, natural tone.I didn't see anything.Yeah, here we go.Let me make this is this is there we go on here.
Yeah, yeah. No wonder why... Oh, Jesus Christ.
Oh my God, the freaks are gonna love this.Oh yeah, there we go.
That's better.No wonder why I thought you were wearing a fat suit.Yeah, you've got extra clothes under there.
Leaving your pants to your ankles is a very good choice.I like it.
It looks a little lewd, I guess.Here, I'll take the shoes off. Look, for audio listeners, I had a long-sleeve Canadian tuxedo that I took off to reveal the short-sleeve Canadian tuxedo underneath.
This was a bit I was going to do in the live show, and then Air Canada lost my luggage.
This would have been gangbusters on stage.
If you did that live, guarantee me they'd lose their lunch.I said he lost his luggage.You've got clean audio, so use my clean audio.Don't use me explaining this because now it's lost.
Said they lost your luggage, and if you did that live the audience would have lost their lunch That's good.
That's real good.Can I say this last night?We had dinner at Lee restaurant great dinner lovely meal Mars you were saying you were still stuffed this morning.I was well was there was steaks and stuff or what it's it's Asian fusion I would say Chinese
Oh, okay.And so I was also stuffed this morning when we ate McDonald's, it was way too much.But last night, Wags, Alana, she was passing up these strips.They fell down into your lap.That's right.And I grabbed them out of your lap.
You said I was trying to grab your hog.You know what?Yeah. As far as trick-or-treats go, it was a trick to me.It wasn't much down there.Damn.We built that thing up for years, and then I finally got a taste of it.
Wasn't that impressed?Wow.This is a good look.This is very funny.Also, the haircut's looking good.Thank you.I saw you, what was the, just too hot?
Yeah, I mean, I kind of was just like kind of getting tired of having the same haircut forever.And then I had the longer hair for a while and then it got shorter as long.And then I had it shorter.
And I was like, just my normal style that I had for most of my, you know, adult life.And I was like, I'll go back to the buzz cut and a buzz cut.And so I don't think I've ever had a buzz cut it.
Let me tell you, it's a little small, kind of a small head.
And now you're all now you can go out trick or treating a sling blade.
French fried taters just like a restaurant value for you back.Let's have the feedback today.We have an email from Jesse H. Jesse writes.Hey, this is fitting for our Lee restaurant experience.
What has been your favorite food experience while working in Toronto?What food will you miss when you leave?Mitch, you spend a lot of time up here.What are you going to be missing when you're down back in the States?That's a great question.
I'm going to take a look to see if there's a restaurant that's still around.
Because I have a couple of answers that I can think of.
You know what I'm going to get when I'm down in the States?What?I'm going to look for some rotis.Sure.Yeah, the roti was fucking awesome.The roti was really good.I want that Eva's chimney cone again.
I'm going to miss that you can just get poutine, even though I know that's more of a Montreal thing.I think that is a nice thing that you can get every so often.I haven't had it a lot. But just knowing that you can get it, it's kind of fun, isn't it?
Yeah, it is fun.Especially with the winter months coming up.Yeah.The chocolate, you know, getting coffee crisps on set.I think that's another thing that I'll miss.I don't know.I've eaten a lot of set food wise.So what is it for you?
So, kind of a two-part question.
Your favorite food experience while working in Toronto, or like convening in Toronto, and what food will we miss when you leave?
Favorite food experiences at Lee Restaurant, I can't remember the name of the Caribbean place we went to, but that was a lot of fun too.
Yeah, that was a lot of fun.
That was a great Caribbean meal.But for me, it's A&W Crunch Buddy Burger, just because I'd been so excited about that thing.And when I finally got to have it, I was like, this is delightful.I gotta have it still.It's so good.
It's really good, and it delivers.And also just having A&W Canada again, and not having to be like, I have to review this.I can just enjoy this, was great. What the meal I'll remember the most is Mars taking us to to do now.
This was this was such a wonderful experience.It was such a great communal dining experience.It was it was super memorable.And it was just like the the fish was was so fun.It was was so was so flavorful.The garlic rice was delicious.
And it also just like it was so it was just such a a unique sort of dining experience in the city that was not expecting.So that that was great.Thank you so much for taking us there.
I'm so glad you enjoyed it.For anyone listening in Toronto, it's called Tinuno.Very reasonably priced, too.It's like this huge feast.
Yeah, $25 per person, which is for a nice meal out, not too bad.
Yeah, super fun.Just a little hole-in-the-wall place.Would recommend getting reservations just in case.But yeah, I love that spot.
Yeah, it was great. Cool.You, uh, you, uh, yeah, your, your number one experience was the place I wasn't with you at instead of the big restaurant we had last night where Mars was still in Atlanta.Everyone you were with at that other restaurant.
That was great.That's a great restaurant.That was a wonderful meal.I, but there, there is something about like, Oh, this is like what you're saying.More of a hole in the wall.
This is more of like, I'm putting on plastic gloves and I'm eating garlic rice with my hands.I'm picking, I've got a whole fish that we're all sharing.
There are parts of that experience that were just so, you know, different from sitting down at a nice restaurant with a white tablecloth and having some craft cocktails.It's just like a different sort of experience.
Very tactile.Very primal, just eating chicken with your hands and all that.
Yeah, that was awesome.That was great.Van had a party like that one, probably.
Yeah, that was great.But it was the same thing where you're just like picking things apart and it's all, like they just dump it on a table.That's fun.
That was great.Well, I was gonna say, you know, one of my favorite meals was the last night at Lee Restaurant with everyone.That was a great meal.No, I think I'll choose Prime Seafood Palace with Samoa Joe and his family.That place looked awesome.
I have one that I remember from when I went here like 20 years ago.Dimmi Bar and Trattoria in Yorkville.Yorkville is very close to here, right?Yeah, yeah, yeah.It's just like an Italian food place.
And I was 19 when I was eating this, so I don't know.Is it still open?Yeah, it's still open.
I'm up there in Yorkville.
Yeah, when my parents came up, I think we went there. It was like very much a like restaurant where you go and you get the gnocchi and the fresh made pastas and stuff.It's good.You're going to text me that you text me that info.
Here's something I won't miss iced tea being sweetened by default.I want my unsweetened iced tea.I don't need the sweet tea.I don't need the nasty.I want like an unsweetened iced tea.
I really that's a refreshing beverage and I'm not adding to my calorie count with some liquid sugar.
But the thing I will miss, and this is like one of those things where just generally a more functional nation, a more functional society with better infrastructure.
When you pay with a card at a restaurant, like a sit-down restaurant in Canada, they have what's called the machine. which is they bring a remote pay station to the table and then you finish the transaction on your own.You tap or insert your card.
You select a tip electronically.You can print out a receipt if you want, but you're handling your own card.You're doing the transaction as opposed to in America.You're giving your card to a server.A server has to take ownership of it.
They have to go, you know, run your card.They have to bring it back to you.And then you have to like there's a whole rigmarole.There's like there's like two extra steps.
And Emma, you were saying from a server's perspective, having to handle other people's cards,
That's a whole thing for the servers as well.So the machine is a thing I miss.I love having the machine at Canadian restaurants.
It's happening more and more in New York, at least.I'm seeing it more, but not every place.But yeah, I love it.Anytime I can even order food, pay for it at the counter, and then go back to my seat.
I mean, it's a different type of restaurant, but that's always the best when you're just done.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, just let me handle the transaction.And it's also, I'm sure it's more secure too, so yeah.
I'll even do something sometimes, no matter how they're paying, when I get my food, I'm like, and I'm just getting this, so let's do the bill now so I can get out of here.Yeah.
I'll add too, it's incredibly easy to split bills in Canada, because they'll just pass the machine to every single person.
In America, it's very frustrating, because most places just don't split bills, and so you're figuring out Venmo and all that, which is a huge frustration for me in America.And so in Canada, it's just so much easier, which I really love about it.
We also, Wags, we went to a bar last night, Civil Works.That's right.We had a cocktail together.It was midnight.You hadn't been up that late in forever.I should never go to a second location.I'm too old.You're falling asleep.I need to go to bed.
You're not too old.Yeah.My mom stays up.We can have a drink at midnight.You're fine.And I don't think she's old.I'm too old.Wags, I'll tell you something that I'm gonna miss.Yeah.There's two things that I'm gonna miss.One, getting an ice cold mug
Not root beer, a nice cold mug of A&W root beer.That's right.And that cold, frosty mug.Those are nice.With some A&W in it, fantastic.Delightful part of the experience.Delightful.Yeah.And for me, I'm going to miss something quite a bit.Oh.Nando's.
Ah, Nando's, yeah.UK chain.A chain you did not get to try while you were here.It's true.You've never had Nando's.No, I haven't.I became the Nando's kid.I love Nando's.I was going, I was walking to Nando's every day and I was loving it.
And I'm going to be sad to see it go.What's Nando's?Chicken?Chicken.Yeah.
Peri-peri chicken.It's a UK chain.
Oh, I've had that recently.Peri-peri chicken.The cheeky Nando's, they say. Oh, I've heard of this.Nando's.Yeah, Nando's.Yeah, Ben told me about this.
Love Nando's.Walking over to Nando's, about 0.7 miles away from my place that I'm staying.Okay.There is only really one, so I'll put it 0.7 mile radius.
Doxing yourself further.Go find Mitch.
This comes out on October 3rd.I shouldn't be here much longer.Time to get, I guess, duct taped to a radiant.I'm going to miss.I'm going to miss Nando.I'm going to miss Toronto.I like Toronto.
You were here for nice for the summer is very nice up here, too.Yeah, it was.
It was it was actually hot when I first got up here.It was like the first couple of days we were shooting.It was like, yeah, fucking hot.
Well, it's been lovely for the week.We remember going to early classes like an 8 a.m.830 class, which is insane.
And being like the coldest I've ever been in the wintertime here, like walking across again, walking across the park is like, oh, man, this is too much.
That's worse than Ithaca.
Yeah, it was rough.It was ice cold.That's like a long time.
It was up here in the winter.I'm sure I probably would be singing a bit of a different tune to someone with those loved in Southern California his whole life.And it's used to that biome. Let me just say another thing.
This is a thing we've all talked about.The strangest experience for me is going into a train station and not smelling urine.I have not smelled the stench of human piss for an entire week.
I think it's the longest I've gone in my adult life without smelling urine while just walking around.It's so strange.People don't just pee in the train station.
You haven't smelled piss for an entire week.They left your luggage back in LA.You bought new clothes. I put a few things together here.
I took the subway to JFK to get here, and the C line, I was waiting on one of the stations.The P line?It should have been the P line.I was like, this is just piss that I'm standing in and smelling and adding to.You know what?
That's what our country's all about, though.We miss it there, Wags.
Hey, it stinks, but it's ah.
If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email us at feedback at birdfuck.com or leave us a voicemail at 830-GO-DOE.That's 830-463-6844.
And hey, to get the Doughboys double our weekly bonus episode plus our entire pre-2018 back catalog, subscribe at patreon.com slash doughboys. Hey, buddy Mitch, you know, we both wanted to do Toronto.We both wanted to do this thing.
And to everyone out there, I hope you enjoyed it because it was a huge pain in the ass.And we burned through all the money we made from the live show.So I just hope you like it.
Thanks for coming to our house, folks.It was a pain in the ass to have you.
But I did like we did it I did like the city but it was a logistical nightmare and it cost us a lot of money Stress yeah, you're ready to go home.
I'm ready to go home.You're annoyed at me.I'm annoyed at you.Yeah, I'm not annoyed at you Oh, yeah same
I'm annoyed at both of you.I'm getting annoyed with Mars all of a sudden.I ended up here with you and your antics.
I do want to have some acknowledges.I do want to take a second to thank some people here.First, I want to thank Mo up here at Podium Studios.Podium Studios in Toronto, if you're looking for a space to record your podcast, this is a newer space.
Are you going out tonight for Halloween?I'm going to dress as Bonnie.
I'm going to drive us to St.Michael, one of my favorites.He's religious.
He's very Christian.I want to thank Alana Johnston, The Knife, and Norm Sousa for guiding us through the city, both here and from LA.Alana and Norm were absolutely essential in making this all happen.
Shout out to The Knife's parents as well.
Shout out to The Knife's parents as well.Special thanks, of course, to Super Producer Mars, Marissa Melnick, for being our on-site producer.Mars, you've been a huge help that just absolutely made this whole thing happen.Do you have any plugs?
I also produced Nicole Byer's Why Won't You Date Me podcast.Great pod.A very funny podcast that both Mitch and Nick have been on separately and very drunkenly together, I think, on a live show.Oh, boy.In Chicago.
The podcast is very excited to be coming back to HeadGum.We're going to be doing video podcasts soon on our YouTube page.Wow.So, yeah, that's all I'd like to plug.Thanks.
And thanks, of course, to our producer, Emerald Brink, and our associate producer, Amelia Marino, who's back in L.A.now.But all of your prep, all of the amazing work you did up here.There's no show without you.So thank you so much.
And I hope everyone who enjoys this knows how much everyone who works behind the scenes helped us.And thanks also to Casey Donahue, our engineer and our video editor, Mike Dorfman, of course. and our guest, Mike Hanford.What a delight to have you.
I'm so glad we were able to get you on the show.
Come on.I will travel anywhere for free Mickey D's.No, thanks for having me.I love it.I love it.Seeing you guys and loving it.Seeing Mitch, too.I haven't seen you in forever.I know.And Wyger, you're a... I'm a shadow-like figure.
I can never get a good handle on you.
The shadow man.So it's Halloween.Are you going to go around your neighborhood and do Slenderman again?Yeah, I'll probably do Slenderman.
You'll probably have to do it up here.I'm on the clock.I'm going to see Hanford's show.I mean, now it's going to be too late.
Yeah, it'll be what you guys promoted on with that.That's true.
You guys do it at the end of the live episode podcast.There is a nice little song from Hanford.If you clicked out of the episode to early, Missy, dumb idiot.Lovely, lovely.
I see his show tomorrow night and then he's going to hang out with me on my birthday on Sunday.How fun is that?
Hand man any plugs.Yes, come see the slob.I'm in the band the sloppy boys.We also have a podcast We've got a tour coming up in November.I believe it starts November 22nd.
We're going from Vancouver Portland Seattle San Fran and LA so we're doing a little run there and this is a live podcast recording We've only done we've only done one in Chicago.It went great again Chicago.So great and
Uh, so we're doing live podcast.Wow, new to the sloppy boys.I love it thing and then I'll be playing.Well, it's fine.I'm doing stand up in New York, Boston, Florida, Philadelphia, coming up in January.Wow, yeah, well there you go.
Mitch, what a fun month we did.What a fun month.Thank you Toronto.Thank you Toronto and hey, that'll do it for Toronto Dough Canada.The Great Bite North.A month long culinary tour of the six until next time for the Spoonman Mike Mitchell.
I'm Nick Wyger.Happy eating a. Au revoir.Bye.Hey, buddy.Want Doughboys merch?We're talking hats, shirts, sweatshirts, patches, glasses, all sorts of stuff.Aprons.It's all available at kinshipgoods.com slash doughboys.
That's kinshipgoods.com slash doughboys.Sources for the intro are in the episode description. Hey buddy, the Doughboys year end finale will be live and live streamed.Wow.Saturday, December 14th at 7.30 PM Pacific at Dynasty Typewriter in LA.
You will be able to watch a live stream as well.Join me and Mitch and special guests for a holiday wrap up of 2024.Wow.Live stream tickets available at birdfuck.com.
That was a hate gun podcast.
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