What's poppin', congregation?It's your girl Lacey Mosley, aka Scam Goddess, and we're back with another installment of Scam Goddess, the podcast all about robbery, fraud, cons, those who practice it.Sometimes we love them, sometimes we hate them.
We will see.Y'all like this raspy voice?I'm trying to get y'all something different.Is this good?Grrr.Is that, y'all like that?Uh, respond.Yeah?Okay.You know we got a parasocial relationship. Uh, guys, I'm very what?Yes.Very excited.
I'm extremely excited, guys.Uh, the scams continue.Finally scams to people that I've wanted on this podcast for a long time.And, uh, their friends and their castmates and, um... I'm gonna stop talking like this now.I'm sorry.That's all you get.
Uh, when I was sick, y'all were saying that my voice was sexy, which was really fucked up of y'all, but I was trying to re-replicate it.Um... Guys, today we have two amazing guests on the show.
Our first guest is an actor, director, and former child model who currently plays- How did that get in there?Whoa, wait, hold on.
Did you send that to her?
I did not.Did you want that to get in there?This was not- When I read it, I was like, okay, that's what you want, Nathan.
I did one print ad for a yeast infection medication, okay?That doesn't make me a model. A male model.
I finger painted in a stranger's lap for a yeast infection medication.That does not qualify me.I redact what you just described.
I don't know, it's giving Naomi Campbell.It's giving Miranda Kerr, I don't know, a former child model.And he currently plays Freddie Benson on iCarly, Nathan Kress.
And our other amazing guest, my homie, an actress, a singer, a producer, and plays Carly Shay on iCarly, Miranda Cosgrove.
A former child model.I did some Kmart ads.
That's right.That's right.We're both in the same boat.
It's kind of sad, though, because we're not models now.
I think that's what's disrespectful is the child.The worst child.
You were cute and very photographable when you were a child, but as soon as you grew up, oh.
We had the spark and it fizzled.
Down on their luck, former child models had to settle for a TV show.
Congregation, please welcome Nathan Kress and Miranda Cosgrove to the show.You already know they're here, the two former child models, the hottest babies you've ever seen.
My bowl cut was on such point around that phase, I'm just gonna say.
I believe it.I believe it.I've seen a lot of photos of you as a child.Both of you are in so many memes that are used to this day all the time.And it's very funny to me.I'm sorry, Nathan.I'm sure you probably hate this meme.I do.I guarantee you.
The one where Nathan's holding the camera as a child in the original iCarly, you know, shooting, but they, like, edited it with Photoshop into the Kim K. and Ray J. sex tapes.And so it looks like he's filming them.Like he was the one.
Yeah, there's that.There's also me doing Bin Laden, like filming a Bin Laden propaganda video.And then there's one where I'm on my laptop, just studiously working, sitting at a table next to Bin Laden.
Why do they keep sticking you with Bin Laden?
I don't know who had it in their mind to assimilate Freddie Benson and Bin Laden, but I don't think Mrs. Benson would have allowed such a thing.
No.I have one where I'm with Biggie Smalls, I think, and I'm smoking pot.And I'm like nine.They love to, nine?
Oh my gosh.Former child weed model, Biggie Smalls.
I also love the one that's Die Carly, the video game where it's you like gleefully holding a gun out to people.Like an action adventure game.
And I like the one that's like it's the guns like very close to the camera and she's smiling.Oh my goodness.Y'all are wild.Y'all need to stop.These are human beings.Stop putting Freddie with Bin Laden.You don't know him.
Okay, so this is a podcast all about scams and fraud, and either of you can go first.What's your relationship with scams?It can be a scam story.You can just tell me if you hate scams or you love them.It can be anything. Very no pressure show.
For me personally, I have a very conflicting relationship with scams because I'm so fascinated by them.
I love them in a deep, dark, masochistic way because the mindset of a scammer is so interesting to me, the creativity that it takes and the confidence that they have to have to pull this stuff off.
I don't have that brain, so when I hear about people who do these things, it's very interesting to me, and I kind of love it.
But at the same time, it also triggers a massive justice complex in me, where I get really mad about it, because I don't like people getting, you know.
I love it.I love when someone comes on and likes justice.
Because this is not the place for that.
No, it absolutely is.We love a viewpoint that's like, we like some justice and maybe we'll see some, maybe we won't.Maybe.But I'm the type that I'm like, OK, well, if you're scamming up, if you're scamming corporations that are scamming us.
I love that.That's OK.Yeah, if you're harming people, though, I'm absolutely on your side of like, if they're poor people, marginalized people, people who are really like, you know, you're ruining their lives.
That upsets me because I'm like, come on, don't scam down, scam up.
Yeah, but I love a corporate espionage kind of scam.
You like an Ocean's Eleven?
Yeah, I'll watch that documentary.I'll support that narrative.
Nathan is a real follower.Nathan literally comes to set early and he orders his breakfast the night before.
So he doesn't cause any trouble.
I don't want to bog down crafty in the morning.
I'll be pulling up to set.Like, I know how to be the perfect amount of late, where it's like, it's not gonna throw anything off, no one's gonna notice on set, I'm not gonna disrespect our crew and things like that.
But if you call me in and I look at the call sheet and I'm like, wait a minute, I got a little more time than what they're giving me, I'm gonna take it.And I moved three minutes away from Paramount so that if I overslept, which happened once.
You'd still be there in three minutes.
One time I overslept. Got a phone call from our ad and he was like, oh, where are you?And I was like, oh, I'm in bed He was like, oh you need to be at work.And I was like, oh, okay.I Took a shower like got ready did everything I was in work.
I work in 12 minutes Wow, that's amazing good for you.
I mean I Wow.Yeah, see, my problem is I'm too far away for that.I have to leave early.
Because California's always on fire.You never know when... You're gonna hit traffic.
You be driving from San Francisco every day, so you gotta plan.
I need that high-speed bullet train real bad to span the length of California.
Right, where's all our infrastructure?America the ghetto!
The scams that I'm the most into, but also dislike the most, are like love scams.Like when people do stuff on apps, like Tinder Swindler, that really got me.Like I couldn't stop watching it, but I was furious.
I just hate the thought of somebody going on an app and like pretending they're something they totally aren't.Apps are your safe space?
How dare you do this to me on Bumble!I have sent you a prompt!I do not like that.
I've also been, I was telling Nathan, I've been swindled before by a grandmother. Oh, yes.This grandma, I think I've told you before, she was a very young grandmother, and she had a motorcycle.
And I was friends with her daughter, and when I went to pick her daughter up one day, she rolled the motorcycle out to the front yard.And while I was waiting for her daughter to come out, I was like, oh, what's going on?Because she was shining it up.
And she was like, I'm just really sad.And I was like, why?What's happening?And she was like, well, this motorcycle is my pride and joy. And she was like, but, um, I have to sell it.
And she was like, I went on Craigslist and the person's going to be here any minute to take her away.
And I was like... I love that she did a whole performance.She was like, oh, Miranda's coming.Okay, wheel the bike out.Give me that gray.
Start polishing.She was so sad.And I was just like, oh my God, that's horrible.Like, she was like, yeah, but she's like, I need the $3,000.She was like, you got to do what you got to do. And I was just kinda like, okay.
And then I could tell she was hoping I would offer.
Yeah, I mean, that's why she was specific.She was like, yeah, it's crazy.She was wiping the motorcycle with no rags.She's just moving her hand in circles in front of it.She's like, yeah, it's crazy.I gotta shine it up because I don't have $3,000.68.
But I didn't do anything, and then later, I just felt really weird.Like, I could feel something was off.And then, like, a week later, she was, like, literally going around on the motorcycle, and I was in my car, and I saw her.
Damn.She was like, if only I knew a former child model that I could get $3,068 from.
That is a good scam, though, to just, like, wheel your motorcycle out.
Like, what if every time someone came over to your house, like, no matter who it was, you just wheeled your motorcycle out, and you got out the shining spray, and you started... I wouldn't be surprised if she had done that to more than one person.
A lot of people.Be like, I don't think... Granny, I don't think you should be cleaning that with Windex.And then, I feel like she probably... Is that Babiloso?Why are you cleaning this shit?
She probably just does it on a sliding scale, too, when she knows who's coming over.If it's a former child model, yeah, you're getting into the four-figure sums.But if it's just one of the friends coming over, they only need, like, $300, you know?
Is she, like, shining a lime scooter, then?She takes down the stakes.
My pride and joy.My baby.
How will I get around town as a grandmother without my scooter?Oh man, I love that.I feel like you guys have been famous for a very long time, so I think that you're very ripe for scams.
I think people might see you and think, you know, dollar signs in their eyes, you know, scams.
Yeah, I think that's why you generally have to have a mindset of just everyone is sus, so you kind of have to
When you're still making bank from a yeast infection commercial.Exactly.
I'm still getting those residuals from that one magazine ad.
When you're making checks.
And you've got to protect that.
You never know, you can't trust anyone.
That's my nest egg right there.I can't let that be compromised.
That's what Nathan really blew up.They were like, we know you, Monistat.Yeah, yeah, that's me.That's me.
That was my gold cut.I still have the overalls.
Oh, I love this for you both.Well, let's get into our first segment here, What's Hot in Fraud?This is where we warn our listeners about poppin' scams and the zeitgeist.And more often than not, we get a letter from you guys out there.
As always, snitch on your friends and family at ScamGoddessPod at gmail.com.Just make sure your scam is retired because we don't want a what?Yes, fuck up your bag.Amen.Miranda and Nathan, I need a fake name for this person.
We don't care about gender, could be anything.
How classy.I love that because it's so old and timey that it's going to fit perfectly into this episode.Mary Ellen.Oh, Mary Ellen.Are babies named Mary?When you have a baby named Mary, can you call them Mary?Like when they have a baby?
Because it's an adult name.
Well, all baby names become adult names.
I know, but certain names, they're not baby names.
Like, they're just meant to be for an adult.
Yeah.Like, if your name is Kiki, when you become an adult, you're gonna have to try to find something more adult than that.Catherine.They're like, no, your name is Kiki on the birth certificate.No, no, no, no, I'm 25 now.It's Catherine.
We just, we're changing the name.We can't be Kiki anymore. It's like a lot of family members of mine have Lil in front of their names still like we call them like Lil Daryl and they're grown adults and we're like yeah that's Lil Daryl.
What name would have you picked Nathan?Maybe yours would be better.
Well see I was gonna go even I was gonna go Brunhilde.Brunhilde.
So which is like far That gives me like Django Unchained, but it's like a German name.Brunhilde!
You can decide Blasey which name is the winner.
Both of them are... Mary Ellen or Brumhilda.They're both great.Maybe I give them four names.So Mary Ellen Brumhilda says... Oh, there's a lot of nice... You know what, I'm gonna read this just because of your profession.
Says, I think you're 10 out of 10 in the most delightful.The scam I have to share is one that I caught one of my first graders doing.I'm a teacher.Shout out to the teachers.Really, shout out to y'all, man. I don't know how y'all do it.
I'm not dealing with nobody's unemployed spawn all day.And they mouthy.They got attitude and lip.And it's like, you don't pay no bills.How dare you?
I literally had to tell my four-year-old that the other day.Start them young.Yep.You can slam the door when it's your house.
You ain't paying no door bills in here.You ain't got no WD-40 money.
You're not going to send the repairman out for that crack in that door that you made.Exactly.Those four-year-olds need to know.
They do.I love that that's your version of what black people call McDonald's money.When we were kids, we'd always want to go to McDonald's, and I don't know why this is a universal black experience.
We'd be like, let's go to McDonald's, and then our parents would be like, you have McDonald's money?Of course I don't.I'm unemployed. But I love it being like, you got door slamming money?
I don't think you do.That's a solid core door, child.
Right.These doors are expensive.What you doing?I love that so much.So Mary Ellen Brumhilda says, In my class, my students earn tickets in various ways.So you gotta fucking compensate these children, like, well, I gotta pay you.For free education.
Like for bad behavior, or like for good?
No, like for good.Oh, right.Ready, watch this. That's a ticket.
When I was little, I had to pull my card.Did you ever do that?Yes.And it's like getting a ticket.Kind of.I mean, you have to pull the card and then eventually it gets to red.Yeah.And then you're done.
Oh, you might as well just give up.It's over.
You know what?I don't think it was exception.They didn't factor in children who were meant to be entertainers or people who were not the most self... Okay, we had something at our elementary school called self-managers.
And self-managers got these gold badges that they could wear around and they would have little pizza parties every quarter.And I always wanted to be a self-manager. but you had to have good grades, and you couldn't get your card pulled a lot.
So I would have good grades, but I would be getting my card pulled all the time, because I'd be talking cash shit in class.
And for some reason at this school, and we all wore uniforms, there were a lot of Russian kids, and all the Russian kids were self-managers. A government coup?I don't know, but they were all self-managers, and I was always so envious of this.
I'd be like, man, she's a self-manager.How did you become one?What did you have to do to get it?Be quiet and get good grades.And I could get good grades, but I couldn't be quiet.
I feel like a self-manager would need to have confidence and be loud.
Yeah.Right.I'm managing myself.What are you talking about?
Showing leadership qualities, managing others.
Exactly.Marielle and Broomhilda is giving out these tickets.Positive reinforcement, Miranda.Not negative.They write their names on them, and at the end of the day, we do a drawing with those tickets.
We always choose two names, and those two students get to choose a prize from my prize box.Man, I miss being a kid, because we used to be delighted by the most basic-ass shit, like a fucking eraser that smelled good.I'm like, ooh, a pencil.
But it's got cinnamon on it.
When are we going to get our mesothelioma commercial, which I think is going to be like, if you were a loved one and smelled a magic sniff marker, you may be entitled to damages.I know that was doing something to us.For sure.
And I was sniffing them all.I loved the grape one.
Why do you need to sniff a pen or a marker?Like, that's insane.
And I don't get... You can't sniff any of the other markers.So why are there only certain markers you can sniff?
Honestly, a gateway drug, because then, you know, I started sniffing permanent markers.You get a little high out.
Yeah, then you get the white out. You know, it's a slippery slope.
Just to paint huffing.That's the gateway to paint huffing, is you got magic markers for children.So they get something from the prize box.Last week, I noticed one student had been winning an uncanny amount of times.
Like, homie was getting a prize eight out of nine days in a row.And I should have caught it earlier, but I've been having health issues, and it's the end of the year, and you know how it goes.I know absolutely how it goes.
And also, you a teacher, you ought to be out here being the, You gotta be a teacher, you gotta be like, martial law, you gotta, it's just, it's an insane position that this country has put our educators in.And they don't pay them well enough.
I'm like, I'm glad y'all not in here shakin' the kids and pinchin' them under they arms.I be pinchin' all the kids.The little, tiny little, do it right where no one can see it. But like, so shout out to you.
But so anyway, she's like, I didn't notice that this was happening.Anyways, I investigated a little bit and noticed that on the tickets that had this student's name, you could faintly see an erased name underneath it.
I asked the student about it and they were like, every day when you put my ticket in the jar, I would take a few tickets out and erase whoever's name was on it and then write my own.
He just gave himself up.It's like he was so proud.Like, you know, in movies when the villain just starts talking for a long time about what they did.And you're wondering, like, why is the villain talking for 15 minutes?
Right, these are details we didn't ask for.
These are crimes we didn't... You're like, yeah, 10 years ago, I robbed another bank.It's like, nobody asked about that.You don't have to... Just proud.He was like, yeah, I took a few out.But think about it.
If he only took a few out and left some, his odds are still pretty good.This teacher must not have been shaking up the ticket bowl.He was just sprinkling them on top.Was the teacher impressed? What did the teacher do?
He says, honestly, for a first grader, this is the equivalent of Ocean's 11 heist because they're just very bad liars and never sneaky.So props to this kid.
But I did have to remove all the tickets that had their name on it in the jar so they couldn't keep winning prizes.
So, basically, what he was doing was stacking the deck, because, like, they get these tickets for being good, and then the tickets accumulate.
So, he was doing something evil, but he was getting the tickets for being good, because she thought he was being good, and then he was also writing his name on all the tickets.
Little by little, every day, he was stacking the deck, because he's adding more tickets every single time, because he's erasing people's names.
So, think of, like, a big jar, and then every time you get good tickets, she reaches into the same jar, and you have better chances of winning if you're better behaved.
I'm just trying to figure out when is he getting them back into the jar?Because he's got to take them out, he's got to take them away, he's got to go erase them, put his name back on it.Where is he finding that time?
There was a viral tweet about a teacher that she was like, I took a phone away from a child in my class and then I turned around and she had the phone again and she was on it.And she was like, how did you get this phone?
And she was like, oh, you and my mom would love a little drawer.And it went back to her phone. Y'all love a little drawer chair, I just went in the drawer and got it made.She just opened the drawer up.I love that though.
I love when kids are criminals.I love it.Because you can tell early on if a kid's going to be a criminal.A few ways you can tell, if they open up a lemonade stand.Any kid who's trying to make money.I had a lemonade stand.
Multiple times as a child.
You're just a scam waiting to happen.Taking time, Bob.
I love a good lemonade stand.But child model money isn't what people think it is.
How'd you happen to open your small business after your child model career whistled down?So we got to pivot.Now I'm a child model who sells lemonade.Lemonade on the street corner.Now, what kind of lemonade were you slanging?
My mom helped me make it.It was homemade lemonade, which nowadays I feel like nobody would buy because they'd be scared to get COVID.
Right, or anything because it's like germs.Man, the good old days when you can leave your doors unlocked and buy unmarked lemonade on the street.
I remember how excited I was because my across street neighbor, they were doing construction and I knew all the construction workers were going to be there one day.
Put up a little easy up right over there so they could stand in line in the shade and get their ice-cold Lemonade put out the catalog that I had the picture in from the child Actually, that's creepy I was spitballing.
I love that you're just trying to advertise, you're like, just whatever we can do to advertise this lemony.I love it, I love it.I think you could put out a sign that's like, struggling former child model.That would have been good.
Please buy lemon sugar water.Help a struggling child model.Well guys, we're gonna take a quick break for some non-scam advertisements.We'll be right back with my favorite part of the show, historic hoodwinks.
And we are back, and it's time for historic hoodwinks.This is when I will regale our two former child models, Nathan and Miranda, with a hoodwink.I don't know, I think it's gonna stick now.No!This is what you're known for now.
I need to see this Monistech commercial.
My mom's got the clipping somewhere, I'm sure.I'll pull it out for you.
She's proud.Listen, ladies, we get yeast infections.You was a feminist before your time.
That's right.I was a pioneer.
Child male model feminist.
We're just adding.We're just going to keep adding to the resume.
A lot of hyphenates to my title.
So, Historic Handlings, I'll regale you with a famous con or caper, and we'll just get your opinions all throughout.
Both of my guests are very famous, and so we have a rule after an incident that if you know, you know, that we only talk about dead people with famous people, so that no one will tweet you and then show their nudes for deciding not to sell the book that they got pre-order money from, if you know, you know.
So today we're getting into, like, right before the 20th century.
Okay.So, like, Marielle and also Brumhilde were very fun, like, indicators that we were going back in time.So there's a woman named Cassie Chadwick.And so that was her name to some, and then she had half a dozen other names. to others.
So, you know, she was like, she had new names all the time, which I love.Reinvent yourself.If you have four names, you're a scammer.Like, if your parents give you four names, you have no choice but to do crime.
Cassie used charm and other goodwill and maybe even clairvoyance to con banks and merchants out of hundreds of thousands of dollars.And this is olden time hundreds of thousands.That's a good bet.That's millions.Yeah, yeah.Inflation.
As our money gets less valuable every day. It's very sad.Like somebody pointed out that like, not in our state, but in a lot of states in America, the gas in California has risen to above the minimum wage, like the national minimum wage.
It's like $7.89.So it's more than the minimum wage.
Yikes.Well, that's a problem.
Yeah, you know, we got a lot of problems.We got a lot of problems.We're just kind of all out here on supplements and vibes, you know?That's a real line from our show.So, Elizabeth Betty Bigley.So, that's Cassie Chadwick.
This is her first name, the one someone else gave her.This is her.This is Elizabeth up here in 1904.She must have had that good money because, like, how did you get photos in 1904?She probably had to sit for, like, four hours.
Truly.She had time on her hands.
That's why nobody smiled back in the day in olden time photos, because they had to sit for so long.It would hurt.Yeah, it would hurt.So they all just was like, staring.She got the accoutrement.No, that's a lot of clothing.
I could not have been in the olden times, because like, how do you even have like a quickie, like a frisky session where you gotta take off several petticoats?
Maybe it's just the hoop is so big, you know, it's like outwardly.
But that's shoulder stuff, too.
Well, that's true.Those shoulder quickies, you know.
She doesn't really look like a scammer.I'm not getting scammer.See, and I think that's why it worked out for her because she was giving, like, lie-abiding citizens.
She's letting the sleeves do the work there.
She just looks very, like, simple together. Miranda, you like her too much.Like, I love her outfit.She looks very simple together.
I love the expression on her face.
Scammers love a scammer.Classic.And after the lemonade thing, I'm starting to see something happening.
Yeah, we know that, Miranda.Takes one to know one.
Right.That's why she didn't get scammed by Granny Motorcycle.She was like, uh-uh, Granny Motorcycle.I've been on these streets.Not today.
Spotted it from a mile away.
Polishing lemons in front of the construction site.You ain't fooling me.So, at the age of 14, she opened a bank account, an Ontario bank, and used a forged letter of inheritance stating an uncle had died and left her some of money.
And back in the day, like, if you had a piece of paper and it looked good enough, like, who's gonna check you, boo?We ain't have no Google.Like, who, you know, you just asked around.
If your writing's fancy enough, that's pretty much all you need.
Right, you got good penmanship.That was their version of Photoshop.So every few months, she was arrested, but released on grounds of insanity and warned to never do it again.
And this is something I've noticed, because she was born in 1857, and something I've noticed about the turn of the century is this was a time when if women were too smart, they'd be like, she's a witch!Or they'd be like... She's crazy.
Put her in the laundry bin or put her in that place where we make them all do laundry because they're whores.Like, these were things that existed.
And so back then, the only benefit of being a woman was there was like a good amount of sexism around, like, women be crazy.So you could just get arrested for doing hella crimes and be like, I be crazy. But I promise I won't do it again.
I'll never do it again.I'm not crazy anymore.I was on my period.I'm a witch.
You just admit to it.I'm a witch. So several years later, at the age of 22, Betty devised what would become her trademark scam.
Using expensive letterhead and fictitious names of an Ontario lawyer, Betty sent herself a letter stating that a philanthropist had died and left her an inheritance of $15,000.In today's money, that's about $300,000.
She then had business cards made so that she could announce her new wealth.I love it.Like a costume, she's got a business card.And she was so confident, she was so sure it was gonna work.
So what would the business card say?Like, I just broke a million?
Betty Bigley, rich person?Rich lady. She said, my bank of vagina is overflowing.I mean, you know, I guess that's what you did when you were rich back in the day.You got some cards printed out and be like, I'm rich now.It's me, a rich. I love it.
I don't know.I get some cards.No, I'll never get those cards.So Betty's plan was simple.She would go into shops, write a check for a larger sum than her purchase.Then she'd ask for the cash difference back.
And this is like, she basically pioneered the check fraud scam.You know where like, people would be like, websites would be like, oh, do you want to be a secret shopper?
And then like you sign up and they send you a check for more money than, they're like, oh, we sent you $200 extra, deposit the check, send us 200 back, and you keep the rest.
And then the check bounces after like three or four days, but you've already sent the money.She was doing that in the early 1900s.
So was she like the first, is this like the first one?Is she the mastermind of that whole thing?
Yeah, she's definitely an innovator, a pioneer.
Scammy godmother of check fraud.
So if she was ever questioned if she could afford her purchases, she'd simply produce her calling card stating that she was an heiress.
Not to worry, good sir.As you can see, I am clearly a rich person.Look at my card, it just says rich.
You can clearly see where it is embossed.Isn't it so funny to imagine her printing out the cards before she did the scam?Getting all the cards ready.Waiting for the money to come in.
It's like, oh yeah, these look good.I love that for her.Y'all gotta print out cards after this.Go to FedEx Kinko's when we finish.Get your former child model cards.
Do you think whatever the guy was at the version of Kinko's that she had these made was going, I don't know about this.This seems a little odd to me, but you know, she's paying me, so here's your rich person card.
It must have been the culture.I mean, think about it.Probably up until what, like the late 90s, we would see in movies and TV shows, like rich people would be like, here's my card.That was the thing.
If you had business cards, we were like, you're fancy. And now that I think about it, when I first started acting, I had head shots, and I also had business cards with my face on them.
What did they say?Just your name?
I said, Leslie Mosley, rich person.Future rich person.Call me now.I'm like, Ms.Cleo.You call Ms.Cleo and then call me later.Call me after.Give me a job.Oh man, that's great.So I get it.Damn, I forgot I had business cards.I really do be doing crime.
But I'm sure it made a difference though, because as soon as you get in an audition, you get handed a business card.That's like an automatic, oh, oh, oh.
Like you know who you're dealing with.
You sit up and pay attention to a woman who walks in with a business card in addition to the headshot.
You gotta flick it at him too.Yeah, you gotta get that throw down.You got that too, you put it between your fingers and you flick it at him. Everyone at home, hold up a peace sign, turn it sideways, and then close your fingers, and then flick it.
That's how you flick the Mrs. Condon people.Gotta hit them in the eye.
Slides right across the desk, just boom.
I love this for her.A short while after, our scammer Cassie, I'm just gonna call her Cassie, because she has a lot of names, and now they're calling her Betty.And I'm like, who is Betty?But it's Elizabeth Betty Bigley.She got a lot of names.
So, Cassie Shadwick, she spent her time, like, chasing her sister around.
So she basically followed her sister when her sister got married and was like, oh, y'all going to Cleveland, y'all married, I'm also gonna be with y'all as well in addition to in your home.
While staying with them, Betty spent her time appraising the furnishings of her sister's house and used them as collateral to arrange for a bank loan. During her sister's wedding?
That would be also hilarious.Imagine if you had a wedding and your shit get re-posed.
It's just gone by the time you get back.That's not what you said?It wasn't during the wedding?So after her wedding with this man in Cleveland, Betty was like, who is Cassie Chadwick, she was like, oh, I'm about to move in with y'all.
Like, y'all married and I'mma be in here with y'all.And then she lived with them, and she was like, ooh, the furniture.
Oh, so she started figuring out all the furniture prices while she lived there.
She was like, is this mahogany? praising it all and used it as collateral for a bank loan.Upon discovering Cassie's newest scheme, her sister's husband kicked her out.So when she found out, they were like, Cassie, we have lost a lot of silver spoons.
And she's like, I didn't steal them.Here's my business card.I'm a rich person.
I don't need to steal them.I'm already independently rich.
Look at these business cards.It's how the husband got her out.The husband was on to her.
Yeah, so basically her step-brother-in-law.What is that called?Brother-in-law.Brother-in-law, yeah.I'm not married, you can tell.I don't know the terms.It's a call. My sister, baby daddy.So at this point, it was 1882.
Betty, Elizabeth, Cassie Chadwick, all the same name.If I say a name that is female pronouns, it's Cassie.Just go with it, y'all.Like, it's too many names.She was 25, and she had a few marriage prospects. Because, you know, you was right, Miranda.
She was looking cute.She was giving the drip.And when you're a rich lady.Right.The door is open up.You attract a certain clientele.No, they don't.Honestly, I think the more money you make as a woman, the harder it is to date.Yeah, it is.
I'm going to start pretending to be poor.I'm going to show up in rags on dates.I'll be like, I need you, sir.Save me.
Just evoke something in them, you know?It's the perfect plan.
Like we're gonna go to like the most basic restaurant and everyone gets water and be like, wow!
You're like at Olive Garden, you're like, wow!Unlimited breadsticks!
Wow!You go to a buffet.You're like, I can keep going back for more.They have so many clean plates, I can have another.That's just gonna start being Oliver Twist on dates. Lisa, may I have some more?They bring water to the table.
I'm like, oh, it's cold.I never have water cold.Excuse me, waiter, how do you make the water cold?
What device do you have in the back that allows the water to be less than room temperature?
That's insane.There's not even any ice cubes in it.How is it cold?I just don't know what refrigeration is. So, Betty Elizabeth Chadwick, she's 25.I'm gonna try to say Elizabeth Chadwick so I don't drive y'all crazy.
She's 25, she a bad bitch in the streets.Everybody wanna marry her, get her hand.And 25 is kinda older in the game, because remember, this is when people was dying at the Jesus year.So, you know, the girls were dying.
The clock was ticking.25, she's just about at the end of her rope.
Yeah, yeah, this we'll call a spinster. When I read Diane Keaton's book, she said that at her time when she was coming up and she learned Meisner from Sidney Meisner, like, you know, like a different time.
She was like, yeah, if you didn't make it in the acting business by 25, you were washed up. It's over for you at 25 So she's 25 she a bad bitch she got to get married right now It was in this new neighborhood cuz she got a new apartment, right?
She got kicked out.So she got her own apartment She rented a flat, claimed she was a widow, introduced herself as clairvoyant Madam Lydia Deveree.
Oh, now we're getting into it.
She was the first Miss Cleo.Call me now.She opened her clairvoyant shop using the bank loan she obtained with her sister's furniture.
So he couldn't even stop her before the furniture was gone, and only then did he realize, oh, she's got to go.
Bank of Vagina America pulled up and was like, no, we're going to be taking that.No, here's our paperwork.This is all ours. Don't do your sister like this.You are trash.
So in this new neighborhood, as a clairvoyant, under her new name, this is when she met Dr. Wallace S. Springsteen.
Betty and Dr. Springsteen were married a year later, but when the local paper printed an announcement of the couple's union, several furious merchants, including Betty's sister, showed up at the door demanding to be repaid.
So this is like a small town, right?The local paper printing press comes out, and they were like, this bitch got married. What's she saying?And I imagine, like, what do you think it would be like to organize, like, a pitchfork mob?
Like, how do you tell the girls, like, we're... Get your pitchforks.Girls, we're doing a mob.Get in, girls.We're doing an angry mob.
It's that time of the year. We're going to sharpen those pitchforks.
Right.Who's got their pitchforks?OK, you got that?OK, Dave, a shovel.OK, it's not as good as a pitchfork, but we'll take it.Just keep sticking it in the air.Looking angry.Who's got the fire?OK, yeah.How long in an angry mob?
Because, you know, this is like the olden times.So they either had to walk with the angry mob or maybe take a horse.Wouldn't the anger wear off after a while?
Didn't think they held it in until they got close to the scene.How do you stay angry for that long?
Is there a cheerleader?Because that is what happens when you protest.They have people who come to protest who have drums and they do beats.They hype you up.They hype you up.Because you're marching for sometimes.
One Black Lives Matter protest that I did, we marched for 12 miles.And we got to the 12th mile and I was like, OK, so did we get the freedom? Nah, we didn't.It's like, okay, so we just go home.All right, see y'all next week.How long we gonna do this?
I'm like, it's been 70 years, I gotta come back out here?This is very ghetto.12 miles.That's a lot.Yes, we marched from Pan Pacific Park to Beverly Hills.Wow. Did you Uber back home?I did.Which doesn't feel as inspiring as marching all the way back.
After 12 miles, you're allowed to.
I think you get a pass at that point.
But the thing is, they have people to hype you up, because you're right, Miranda.In 12 miles, you'll disappear.
You forget the pass.Maybe it's not so bad, guys.
Have we tried dodging the police?Oh my God.
I was thinking more in the context of Cassie.I was thinking more, it's just furniture, but yeah.
I'm still on the verge.They have people who beat the drums and like, you know, they have a chance.Like one was like, Oh, this is like, not even a chant.It's just like, say her name.
So say her name is like a phrase that came about like during Black Lives Matter for like black women who have been slain by the police.And it's like, but they'll be like, say her name, Breonna Taylor, say her name, Breonna Taylor.
And somebody would be like beating drums so that we're all on beat and I guess hyped up. and walking a lot of miles in the sun.And I noticed, it actually really made me smile.
I noticed when in June 2020, there were so many more white people at these protests than ever before because everybody was off beat. Sorry.Because the protest was like 50,000, 100,000 people at this point.
And so there's points in the line where there aren't black people spread out enough that we can control the chant and keep everybody on beat.So then we had white people being like, what's her name?Breonna Taylor.I was like, what's her name?
That's not it.Doesn't have the same impact.Doesn't have the same snappy, what's her name?What's her name?
Oh, no.To your point, like, yeah, who keeps the angry mob hyped up?
You think there was like a hype man for an angry mob back then?
If we're talking that, there's got to be someone with a fife at that point.
We are so mad. They're burning her business cards in effigy.
I also imagine whoever has to hold the fire in an angry mob, don't they just start to burn out like a match?Don't they get hot?
That's a lot of pressure.
That's the hardest job.Like, I'm burning their reds in their hair.Like, whoo, are we almost there?Cause y'all, this is fire.
Does anybody else want to take this for a little bit?Like, maybe like a half mile.
It's getting a little hot.I'm singed.So yes, they get their angry mobs together and like, getting girls. Let's go girls, we doing a mob.And so they pull up on Cassie and her new husband.So fearing his own credit, because he's a doctor, right?
Dr. Springsteen paid his wife's debt.The marriage lasted 12 days.Come on, Kim K. Only 12 days?Yes.He paid her debt because he didn't want to be embarrassed.But then he was like, all right, I got to get away from you, you scammer.
But she was like, thanks.That's all I really needed.
It's a good deal for her.
So with the divorce, this is when Betty had renamed herself again.Now she is Madam Maria Rosa.The names keep getting more fabulous.They do.Madam Maria Rosa sounds like she got some money.I would believe her business card.
So she traveled to Pennsylvania and she continued to hone her skills as a scam.And one of her scams included impressing locals by pretending to be the niece of Civil War Union General William Tecumseh Sherman.I don't even know who that is.Wow.
She would also pretend to be seriously ill.One witness reported that through a trick of extracting blood from her gums, she led persons to believe that she was suffering from a hemorrhage.
What's that?So she would just like cut up her gums on a regular basis?
She'd just start stabbing up her gums and then letting the blood come out.Like run out into the street and start screaming.Yo, it's wild to me that that worked in that time, because if you're bleeding out the mouth, I'm staying away from you.
What would she get out of doing that?Why would people give her money for that?
Like for treatment?Out of kindness, the locals took pity on Madame Marie and raised funds to loan her travel back to Cleveland.
She was like, I got to get hemorrhage surgery.I need a train ticket.She's a bad lady.So when they wrote several weeks later, like for repayment, they would receive letters saying that Madame Marie had died.
Now, listen, she was bleeding out the mouth.So in the olden times, if you were bleeding out of any orifice.Now she's 25.
She was approaching that time, you know?
Life was finna be over for her when we had the modern medicine.I feel like if you bleed out the mouth, I'd be like, yeah, she probably did die.Like, honestly, if you had a nosebleed, I'd be like, yeah, she probably did die.Like, it was that time.
You could probably die of nosebleed.How embarrassing.
They died of nosebleed.So she was telling everybody that Madame Marie had died.One final touch, Cassie wrote another Tinder tribute to Madame Marie.So then as a like a little razzle dazzle, she wrote a obituary for her former- For herself.Wow.
Classy.I think everyone should write their own obituaries.Like, why do we let our families write our obituaries?I need to do that before I die.
I'm gonna do that tonight.Like, Lacey was a bad bitch, loved by all.
That's all that needs to be said.
She drove her car on the freeway and everybody stared.
I don't know why, Miranda, that reminds me of you in your car.I've never seen anyone more responsible about a car in my life.A lot of times I've texted Miranda and be like, oh, where you at?
And she's like, I'm at the car wash.I love cleaning my car.I just got a special vacuum from Target, like a special one that fits in between all the little tiny areas that a normal vacuum couldn't fit.
You could probably have someone do that.I don't know if you need to have the vacuum yourself.
That's what's wild about it.It's like you go to the car wash and then you look over and it's Miranda Cosgrove with a tiny vacuum.That she brought from home.
I actually, when I go to the car wash, always vacuum my car first myself for like 30 minutes.And then it goes through and then I take it home and I vacuum it more with my special vacuum at my house.
I don't think I ever want to get in your car.I'm too scared to mess it up.
This is too much vacuuming. I got Cheerios and crumbs everywhere.I actually, yeah, I need to know.I don't even have kids.I'm the child and my car is, there's like several boxes in my car right now.
Emily, there's so much stuff in my car and every now and then she's like, Lacey, we should take some things out.We should remove some things.
Like, I don't know if you've ever seen that, like, it was probably some viral video, I can't remember who made it, sorry, but it was like, someone tries to get into this woman's car, and she's like, oh, I'm sorry, like, I just gotta move this out of the passenger seat, and she, like, moves something, and it's like, you know, some papers or something, and then she moves, like, a Nutribullet, and then she moves, like, a vacuum cleaner, like, there's like all this stuff inside, that's me, and Miranda's the exact opposite, just like, sucking up every crumb.
You should put me on the job, call me over, I'll bring my vacuum.
You guys are a match made in heaven.
Truly.Let me know.Miranda gave me a vacuum for my birthday.This woman loves vacuums.Her 30th birthday.
I love that vacuum.It's good.It's a quality vacuum.
Yeah, I'm playing.It's a Dyson, not just a vacuum.
Well, then now I know you love her.That's how you know.Oh, my God.Oh, man.
Wait, are you wearing the necklace that I gave you as a wrap for the first season?I am.Oh, my God.I am wearing it. I work for the special day on the pod.
I gave her that necklace and I bought one too and I was like, this is probably the gayest present I've ever given anyone.It's so cute though, it's a heart.I was like, matching heart necklace.
She reports me to HR, she's like, something's going on here with this woman.What if you had one too, Nathan?
Oh, Nathan, I need to get you a matching heart necklace.
We could have all shown up today.
If we could have got Jerry in a matching heart necklace, that would be hilarious.
Maybe we could get one where it's broken in four pieces. You know?
I've never seen a heart broken in four places.I haven't either.We're going to have to commission something.So you got the booty side of the heart is just like a C. Yep.You got the V. Yep.Oh, wow.Maybe.
But then when you put us all together, we are complete.
That's your new idea.You got to get out there.
Pandora, call me. I got a charm for you.
Listen, that's how you know Nathan got a wife.He know about Pandora.That's the biggest scam is like husbands just like getting one bracelet and then being like every year like, happy anniversary, baby.
Here's a new little charm for that bracelet that I got you.Little extra jingle.Little tiny charm.Little tiny jingle.Little teeny baby. Biggest scam of all.You can keep giving somebody the same gift.
It's like this is us where they kept letting us reenact the same death.They're like, it's the dad.Oh, he died in a fire.This time we're zooming in on a smoke alarm.This time we're zooming in on the crock pot that started the fire.
This time we're driving home and they got the little clothes from the dead dad and it's about the dead dad again.Anyway.Not bitter about it at all.I'm doing terrible on time. Okay, so, back to the story.I know y'all wanna kill me.
So, at this point, Cassie Chadwick is Madame Marie Rosa.She married two of her clients.So, remember, she was doing, like, make-em-ups, like, psychic visions.
So, then she married two of her clients, because she told her clients, like, she was like, oh, you know, I see you, like, getting married, and I see you with, like, she would give them premonitions that they were supposed to be with her, and they would believe her.
Did she marry them both at the same time?No, so she married one and then she married the other.The next.Yeah.
I don't feel super bad for them.That seems a little... You don't?
I mean... I just feel like you're gonna marry me.
It's a love scam.It's one of those scams.
We're hitting back on the app scams that Miranda don't play with.No one's safe.No one's safe.
I wonder if there's any psychics out there who are signed up for dating apps who just say, I had a vision and you and I are gonna be together.And if that's ever worked.
I feel like it has to.Works for Cassie.It did.So the first one was a short marriage to a farmer outside of Cleveland.Obviously, he wasn't going to have a bag.Oh my God, it was real love.That was the only time she was really in love.
You believe?You know, that must have been it.That's it.Because why did she marry a farmer?That doesn't go with the rest of her scamming. I mean, maybe she thought he had some cows and some ya-ya-oh money, you know?
Maybe she thought she was gonna get the whole farm, you know?
I think she loved him, and it was for a short time.It's like she tried to follow her heart for the first time in her life.
I love that you've given this such a whimsical— You heard Jeff Lee and Cassie say, you're like, oh, I like how she looks.She looks nice.She was following her heart.Well, yeah, she married a farmer, and unfortunately, he bought the farm and died.
So then she had another premonition.So Hoover, the other, he died in 1888 and left Cassie an estate worth $50,000, so basically $1.5 million in today's money.She had a good premonition.She was like, oh, you are very rich.
My sisters are tingling.Did you have a grandmother? Yes, I knew that.She's in the room right now.And she said, we supposed to get married.I love this.So, getting caught. Betty then moved to Toledo and reassumed the identity of Madame Lydia Devillere.
So she went back to one of her old names.And she's still a clairvoyant, but she knew the girls knew her as Madame Devillere in Cleveland.So she was like, I got to go back to Madame Devillere.
And one of her clients was a man named Joseph Lam, who paid Betty $10,000 to serve as his financial advisor, as well as to do any favors that she asked. Okay.
Betty employed Lam in her schemes by forging promissory notes for several thousand dollars and telling him to cash it at his bank, utilizing his excellent reputation.So she knew in Cleveland, the girls knew that she was a robber.
She was like, I can't go to the bank around here.
Not allowed there anymore.They've got that little photograph up on the wall.Someone doodled it.
I feel like they went in the horse and buggy to the bank, and then she was like, I'm gonna wait in the car.I feed the horses.I'm on poop duty.I make sure that I get the horse poop out.You go in there and cash it, though.
Oh Cassie was a bad bitch, well.So he also cashed several more checks after totaling about $40,000 all in all which you know with inflation $15,000 was around what $300,000 so this is like about a million dollars or you know.
Betty was convicted of forgery, sentenced to nine and a half years in state penitentiary.While in prison, this is Cassie, you know Betty, y'all know, she continued to act as a clairvoyant.So in jail she was like, I see myself getting out.
Please don't tell me she convinced the guard that that was true.
I see you letting me out.
Reaching into that pocket and grabbing those keys.I see it.I see it so clearly.
I hope she was having visions like Raven-Symoné.
What's happening?No, I'm having a vision about me being free right now.I love this for her.So while in prison, she's still being a clairvoyant.So eventually, she pleaded remorse to Governor William McKinley.
Eventually, he signed the papers for her release three and a half years into her sentence.So I'm sure she was like, I'm so sorry.I'm a woman.We's crazy.
I think with the psychic thing, she could really lock down, I'm a witch.They'd be like, okay, we get it, we do get it.Okay, she was the first, like, that's so Raven, like, Raven-Syvone.You stole her whole bag.
So, once she got out of the jail, Betty, Cassie, you know all of her names, Mary Ellen, Lydia, Bruma, Hilda. So she, well, she got out of jail.
Her and her son moved into Dr. Shadwick's residence on Millionaire Row, a row of palatial estates on the aristocratic street in the city.Ooh, look at that.It's giving Gilded Age.Oh.It's beautiful.
Brenda's like, I live there.I go buy that home in Cleveland on Millionaire Row.I mean, let's give it Cleveland Millionaire, I guess.I guess.I guess that's how the millionaires lived.
Maybe it's got that flush and toilet. You know?Like maybe it's all about the internals.
Wait, how did she afford it?I didn't understand.
So she afforded it because her second husband, Hoover, had died and left her 50 grand.She still had to go to jail.For three of the nine years.But then she moved on to a million.Yeah, because she stole 40,000 more dollars.
And then it was like, you got to go to jail now.And then when she got out, I guess she still had some coin.
So was the guy, wow, huh, wow, there it is.
Oh, this is the whole row.Okay, let's give a millionaire when you see the whole row.When I saw that one house, I was like, I don't know, let's give a thousandaire.Let's give a hundredaire.I'm a $10 heir.We've all been a $10 heir, a hundredaire.
Not these two, since they were child models.
Not since they had child modeling money. I was 100 Air like that.I was born 100 Air.
Born with a plastic spoon in your mouth. Oh my God, hefty could never.
So, according to one acquaintance, oh and so like on a quick thing about Molina Rowe, it's a very aristocratic street in the city and she quickly started spending large amounts of Dr. Chadwick's money in an attempt to enter the circle of the wealthy elite families that made up Cleveland.
Families included the Rockefellers and the U.S.Senators.She made it guys.
He really moved forever, Randy.I just wanted to win.She had true love.He died.She had to start scamming again.This is a notebook.
I've spun this whole story in my head.
I love it.So according to one acquaintance, if a thing didn't cost enough to suit her, she would order it and throw it away.Oh. This kills me.Probably the most responsible with money at this table.I think you're definitely close.
Y'all might be tied, actually.You're both pretty responsible with money.I'm trash.
It makes me feel a little bit ill.
Why would she throw it away?Because she was trying to show people, like, this is an acquaintance saying this, so people are pulling up to her crib and she's like, ugh, a Fabergé egg in red?God, she's trying to show people she's rich.
And I guess that was how you flex, is like you threw all your nice stuff in the trash.
How great would it be to be a person who just walks around at about two o'clock in the morning on Millionaire Row and just kind of grabs up all the stuff the rich people throw out because it's not expensive enough?
You could have a really nice little operation there.
I think a scam equivalent of that, guys out there, is go to Goodwills in really expensive neighborhoods, because a lot of times rich people want the tax write-off of just tossing away a bunch of nice clothes and stuff, because they don't want to consign.
You can find some designer pieces.You can find some nice stuff if you go in the nice areas.If you go to the Goodwill in the hood, you're going to get hood Goodwill.
But if you go to the Goodwill in Beverly Hills, get Beverly Hills Goodwill, if you like thrifting. Just saying.That's the equivalent of Cassie throwing out her Faberge eggs.You just outside, you catch it like, thanks, ma'am.All right.
The neighbors were suspicious and kept away from Cassie.Little did anyone know she had already begun her biggest scam yet.So. They stayed away from her.You know how they'll be like, old money, new money.So Cassie was like new money.
They didn't know where her coins came from.So they were like, we don't associate with her.And I mean, they were right.She was doing fine.
But so in 1903, she orchestrated an elaborate ruse to spread a rumor that she was the illegitimate daughter of the wealthy steel magnate, Andrew Carnegie.
If you don't know about Andrew Carnegie, I went to Pitt, so Carnegie Mellon was right up the street.I performed at Carnegie Hall.He got a lot of stuff in Pittsburgh, and Pittsburgh is very close to Cleveland, Ohio.
So she was like, oh, Ashley, that's my uncle.Ashley is Andrew Carnegie.She let it slip to an acquaintance that daddy would send her large sums of money and had built her a large inheritance out of guilt.So she found the messiest person she knew,
I was like, don't tell nobody, girl.This is just between you and me.
Why do I feel like I should do it now?You and me. Like, had to do it.
Why is it threatening when you do it real tight?I don't know, it was in a horror movie.You and me.You were full Smeagol.We were whispering.
I had to take it a notch higher.
Do you guys have gossipy friends?Is there anybody in your friend group that you know you can't tell the full story or that you might use to leak some information?
Uh, I generally just don't say anything.I'll just... Your mom's got all the hot gossip.
There's info I don't want out there and I tell my mom.Everyone will know by morning. Can't hold it in.
I love that.I don't know, like, I like use gossip.
I'll tell, like, everybody knows all my business and everybody's business that I know, but it's like one person and she's in Jersey, my best friend, and like, she's never out, like, she's not gonna tell anybody.
She doesn't know anybody, so I'll like gossip to her, but I don't have any, like, there are people that I know that I can't tell anything.Like, I feel like I would be talking and like mid-talk, they're like tweeting it.
They're like, typing it while you're talking.I'm like, are you on voice-to-text?
No, no, no, wait a second.Go back, go back.
Talk closer to the mic.You know, we get typos if you're not close to the mic.Because voice-to-text loves a typo.If you ever want to sound drunk without being drunk, use voice-to-text.So many typos.
So, you know, so she tells her messy friend, like, don't tell nobody, but I'm very rich.And so her reputation about her wealth allowed Betty Cassie, everybody, to begin a sort of Ponzi scheme with bank loans.
So she would take out several loans and use them to pay off each other.So like using one credit card to pay off another credit card.
She was also able to convince bankers and other wealthy community members to loan her money from their business and personal accounts, raking in over a million dollars total, which today would be over 32 million.So this lady is an evil genius.Yes.
Wow. Because she finally figured out you can't just straight up rob the bank.
You gotta like rob Peter to pay Paul so then eventually everybody thinks that they're getting paid back or enough people think that they got their money back that your reputation won't be ruined.
Yeah, word can't get around.Yeah.Oh, wow.
She got better as the years went by.
I know, she really stepped up.
She didn't stick with the same scheme.Yeah, $15,000 making it up to a million.
And isn't it so weird that people will give you money when they think you're rich but they won't give you money when they think you're poor? And it's like, if you're rich, why you need my money?Don't you got money over there?
Don't you have money over there?Where'd you get my money for?Over here.
That's how it works.No, it's investing.Don't worry.It's totally legit.
I mean, when Elon said that he wanted to buy Twitter, he used Tesla stocks as collateral.He took out credit for millions of dollars.And they're like, yeah, we'll give you millions of dollars to buy Twitter because you're old and sad.
Parts of it I hate, but parts of it I love.I want to be depressed and buy Twitter.
When there's just nothing left to do.
Right now I buy shoes.I'm like, I want to be sad one day.I'm like, hello.Jack.Jack.I call him through tears.Hey, Jack. I'm going through it.Can I buy Twitter real quick?Crazy.Love it and hate it.
So, the jig was eventually up and Betty was jailed again.Betty Cassie.Brenda's so sad when Cassie goes to jail.
It's not such a bad thing when the person who defrauds the people go to jail.She tried so hard. She just put in so much effort.Darn it.
I love the motivational spirit, Miranda.She's like, oh no.She was working so hard at crime.I thought she was going to be successful at robbery.This is so sad.
She was jailed after several bankers that had lent most of their personal fortunes realized she never intended to pay them back. Duh.What did you even lend it to her for?Vibes?Was she opening a business?I don't understand.
I don't know.I'm always curious what the conversations really have to be.Like, how do you just convince that many people all in a row to give you that much money?
I think you have to come at it like you don't really think it's that much money. Because that gives people the confidence.Like if I was like, yo, Nathan, let me hold $300.I'll give it right back.I don't got no cash.
You know, you would be, I think that's more convincing than, Nathan, I really need $300.Like I really, if you would just please would, I promise I'll pay you back.I'll do anything.You know, one of those sounds like you got it.
It's like if we go to a restaurant or somewhere and it's like, oh, I left my wallet at home.I'll Venmo you.Like we, none of us would be like, Will you?You know, we wouldn't be like, let me get my QR code out right now.
Can you do it before we leave?
Before I run my card, you Venmo me right now. I need to see the money.We wouldn't care.
So it's like, if you're talking to other rich people, then once you start making money, you start to forget how much money is worth, which is the problem that we have with people who are insanely rich and hoarding wealth.
They don't know what a banana costs or a gallon of milk.They don't know, you know what I mean?Sometimes $10,000 can feel like $100 if you're making enough money.So she was probably just like, I don't know, throw me a little meal or whatever.
You know how I do, I'm Cassie.You know I'm good for it, my daddy got it.Andrew Carnegie, you know him?You know my daddy, God.He got all the money in the world in his hands, okay?Don't worry.
So one bank, Citizen National Bank of Oberlin, ended up bankrupted after it had lent her $800,000.And this is olden time money.She bankrupted a bank.
You bankrupt the bank.Bank is right in that, in bankrupt.That's supposed to be you.How you bankrupt the bank?Imagine going to your bank and you have money at that bank and they done loaned it to this bad bitch Cassie.
You go in and take out your coins and they're like, Ashley, we closing the doors.You go to the bank, it's got a closed sign.
They just hand out Cassie's card and be like, your money's at this address.You're gonna need to go to Cassie's house.She has all of the money.
Her card says rich, so we hope that you get it back.But we can't, we can't tell you.That's actually so deeply irresponsible, like of a bank.Cause the bank loans her essentially other people's money.Cause that's what banks do.They hold your money.
They don't want you to spend it.They want to be able to give your money to somebody else's alone and then charge interest on it so they can make more money.So she,
She took everyone's money.She took everybody's money.How could you convince a bank to give all the money to only you?
I don't know.Where is that manager?Who's the guy who looked at that balance sheet and said, huh, well, there's nothing in the vault.And we gave it all to one person.
I think there's something wrong here.You go in the vault where all the gold and money supposed to be, it's just a janitor sweeping.He's like, yeah, we had nothing here.
I owe you a sticky note on the table.I'm totally good for it.
I owe you one bank. That's crazy!So it wasn't until Betty Cassie denied all connection with Andrew Carnegie that they realized that that was a lie too.So she had been telling everybody, she was like, this my daddy, he love me, but I'm a bastard.
Right, this reminds me of like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Cause you know he had that wife with his housekeeper, I mean that baby with, that wife, I'm saying he had that wife with his housekeeper, child didn't go to bed.
He had that baby with his housekeeper, so, you know, scandal.I love a scandal.So in 1905, we're getting to the end of this guys, in 1905 Cassie Chadwick,
She was found guilty of conspiracy to defraud a national bank and conspiracy against the government and was sentenced to 10 years in prison.
That's it.That's all she had.That is light.Cause by now she's like 30 something.
We got a mugshot up here.
Oh no, she's not 30.She's like, yeah, she was.
No, that might be what 30 looked like back then.I'm not sure. Those were harder times.
They were.They were much harder times.Wait, Cassie, you skippin' elderly.
You know what's weird?She looks harder when she was younger.Like, she looks like she softened up a bit in her old age.
But you know what?She was richer when she got arrested, because she stole the equivalent of $32 million, so she livin' good.Oh, she's been living the good life.She eatin' good.
She was moisturizing for sure.
Yeah, yeah.That's why she was able to crack a smile. She probably could live through a cold She probably had that good tussin' Scurvy free all year round, baby Don't tell me she died in jail, did she? She's like, did she find love again?Prison love?
I'll take anything.Give me something.
Has Nicholas Sparks adapted this story yet?
Come on, give me something.Come on, give me.So, Andrew Carnegie himself attended the trial just to see her face.Just to see his bastard child.If he attended, I would have been like, daddy. That was your one last hope right there.
You could have sold it.They didn't have DNA tests.And you can't tell me Andrew Carnegie, the steel millionaire, wasn't out here fucking.Come on now, it's a chance.
It's a light chance that they sent her mama away to one of them laundry places for the whores who had sex.
They could have at least taken, she could have shaved off several years off that sentence by just leaning into the dad thing, saying, see, he came.
Right.That's the evidence.No, we're absolutely right.She should have, if the second he stepped in the corner, I would have been like, daddy, papa.I forgive you.I forgive you.Thank you for coming.I knew you'd come.Gotta say, I knew you'd come.
Make it seem like you're in on it. And I'd point to him and be like, he got it, he good, we good for it.And just like, trying to run out the door.Like, what they gonna do?Oh gosh.
But yeah, so he pulled up and was like, I gotta see this woman's face, we've been lying.So according to him, the whole thing could have been avoided if anyone had asked him, stating, why have I not signed a note in the last 30 years?
Like he was saying like, everyone knew about this rumor. talked about it amongst each other, behind his back, all the time.Like, basically, Andrew would walk into the room, everybody would be like, oh, what's up?Hello, Andrew.
They're like, yeah, he was sleeping with this woman, and they sent her away to the loony bin, because she had a baby in it, and that's a cast of Chadwick.Oh, Andrew, yeah, what's up? No, we got you a seat right here, sit down, yeah.
We were just talking about money, money, money, more money.
You want some loaves and fishes?Yeah, no, we got you.Is that too far back?I guess that's biblical.Loaves and fishes.How old was Andrew Carnegie?In the 1900s.What were they eating? I have no clue.I don't know.Grapes.You always see that in olden times.
Rich people with grapes.Yeah, rich people definitely had grapes.
You know rich people with their grapes.
Oh, they love the grapes.They like to eat bad grapes.Near grapes.Holding grapes.What was that thing?Bowls with grapes.
Someone holding a grape over their face, slowly lowering it down.
Mo' grapes.Licking a grape.It was really weird back then.It was a real flex.If you didn't have no grapes, are you even rich?
Big grape was killing it back then.
Big grape energy. On October 10th, 1907, Cassie Chadwick died on her birthday.I'm sorry, Miranda.At age 50, did she live pretty long?Oh my gosh, that was a 50-year-old?In a prison cell.
So luxurious, it rivaled Al Capone's. What?
So her prison cell was amazing?
Yes.I guess they didn't try to seize her assets.Maybe that was before the F, the B, and the I decided they were the repo man, because now they come back and get all your shit.
If you break the law, they'd be like, all right, Miranda, we'll be taking that necklace.You can also come up off that shirt.
In the olden days, you were allowed to bring your belongings to your cell?
Like, they could, like, pay, you know, because a prison is for profit, so they could, like, pay, put money on your books or, like, give you a couture ball, you know?
You paid in points for the upgrade to business class.Yeah.
Because when rich people go to jail, they be having Xboxes, they be having the best food.They not eating ramen and making jail Laffy Taffy on TikTok.They living good.
So even if you stole the money to get rich, you could use the money to live a better life in jail?
Yeah, you defrauded the government, but the government is going to allow you to stay in jail in a really cush setup with the government that you defrauded from them.
I think that at that point, they weren't hip, the government, because the government is a scam, and I think they started realizing, like, oh, yeah, we're the government.
We could just rob them back, and they at least get some of the money back, and it's never going to go to who actually got robbed.We just go take it and sell it in an auction and keep it for government money.Right.
That's, like, literally what raids are.Like, when police, like, do no-knock warrants, which is why we don't want them anymore, it's literally so that they can pull up on gangbangers and hopefully come up on a bunch of cash.
And, like, there's no way to account for how much cash these gangbangers have, so they turn in some, but they pocket a lot.You know what I mean?It's like they're basically... It's like they're, like, Black Friday at Walmart.
You know, they show up at 5 a.m., they knock the doors down, they fight everybody, and they steal as much as they can.
But at this point the government did, I don't know if they didn't get enough restitution from this woman, but obviously she was living lavish.I can live with that ending.
Yeah, I think that's a satisfactory Miranda Cosgrove resolution.
She didn't have it all.She was in jail.She did some time for the bad stuff.
This is before the times where the government would be like, Miranda, we're going to use your hand over the little vacuum.You're not going to be little vacuuming.Anything but that.
That's literally the thing that she's like holding on to, like fighting with the FBI.No, you can take everything, but not my baby vacuum.
That's part of her plea deal, for sure.I'll plead guilty to everything.Just let me go to jail with my vacuum.
Miranda, they took the card, though.You don't even need the baby vacuum.Oh!
It's for the corners of the cell.It gets into all those cracks and crevices.
Miranda's just in jail with a baby vacuum.
The world's most meticulous jail cell you've ever seen in your life.
Oh, my goodness.Guys, we're going to take a quick break for some non-skim advertisements.We'll be back for the saddest part of the show, where I have to let Nathan and Miranda go.Robbery!
And we're back, and it's time for Scammer of the Week, the last, tiniest segment of the show before I let these icons go.This has been so fun.I feel like we're back at work again, which is nice.I know.This is the best.
I feel like we're on lunch break right now.
Right.We had some good lunch breaks.So a Florida man was charged with 114 counts of various fraud after he was caught in an alleged decades-long scheme to defraud Florida State's Division of Unclaimed Property.
So you know how if you don't cash a check or you don't get a check, there's a website you can go on and see if you have checks that never got to you or didn't come to your house.
And then if you put in your information, they'll mail you the checks and you can cash them.So they have those kinds of things for unclaimed property, too.So Alvaro Abaru, 38, claimed more than $2 million worth of property.
He was born in the wrong time.He should have ended up with Cassie.Truly.
They could have been great together.
Alvaro's kind of cute.He gives our own property.
Yeah, that smile says, trust me.
It's giving landlord. He doesn't really look like a criminal or anything.No, I would give him the property.Also, if it's unclaimed, then why can't he claim it?Right.
This country was, like, what was claimed by people when people were living here, and then Christopher Columbus and the rest of the colonizers was like, we gonna claim it again.Like, come on now.What's the statute on colonizing?We need to define that.
Why could you do that in the 1800s?You could go stick a flag somewhere and be like, this is mine now.Like, we did that shit to the moon.It's like, can I own the moon? Like, why you get to own the moon?This don't seem fair.
If an astronaut can go up and claim the moon, I can go to a state's unclaimed property program and just say, look, no one else is going to take it.
I'll take your junk off your hands.
That sounds like available to me.Free.Open.
We're looking at a lost and found right now.
Right.And everybody knows after a while at a lost and found, you can get in there and just take what you want.
Right.If you go back by this, you've gone four times and it's still there.I mean, exactly.
Wait, that's actually surprising because I feel like you'd be the one who just like leave it in there forever.
They might come back someday.
That is what I would write in letters and look at postage like one day they'll find this North Face hoodie.
I was just trying to I was trying to sound cool.It's totally what I would do.
Oh, you are cool, Nathan.It's okay to follow rules.Somebody has to.If nobody follows rules, then I can't break them.I need everybody to follow the rules, so I don't have to.
There has to be, you know, a division.
So, the Division of Unclaimed Property is responsible for holding onto and facilitating the return of valuables to Floridians who may have forgotten about it, like old bank accounts or abandoned safe deposit boxes.
Wow, so he's getting like the money money.So, Alvaro often used fake names and the names of dead people to forge documents in order to wrongly claim unclaimed property.I'm sorry, if you're dead, then like it's not yours anymore.You are dead.
I can't own anything when I'm dead.What am I supposed to do when I'm dead?
Right. I don't, I'm feeling less and less, he's close to doing a public service.He's helping the state save on storage costs, is what I'm hearing.
Right, and also like if it's unclaimed, you're just gonna let it sit there, valuable resources, and not let someone use them?
Reduce, reuse, recycle.He's trying to save the planet from the dead people's stuff.
Is he Greta Garwig?That's not her, that's the lady from the movie, huh?Greta Thunberg.Greta Garwig. Y'all be sounding dumb on here sometimes.It's kind of Toneberg.I don't know what I'm talking about.
So he first started the scam in April of 1999, and he was not caught until March of 2020.He would file claims and then deposit the money received into any of his many bank accounts for his fake companies.
He had been released on $178,000 bond, which obviously he got.Well, he got $2 million at least, so obviously he got $178,000. Free this man.Free Alvaro.Like, what are we gonna put him in jail for?Jail costs taxpayers money.
You telling me I gotta pay money for him claiming dead people's things?
Like, we should all claim dead people's things.They should just hand that shit out.
I mean, what did they do to grave robbers back in the day?
This is just... I mean, they did try to give the... If they caught them, they would put them in jail. Yeah, because you said it, essentially, it's a grave robbery.Yeah, well, yeah, but... But also, like, you're dead.
Like, how you gonna... When I go to court, like, who... Is it the people versus, or is it, like, the dead dude versus me?Like, he dead.
Maybe the ghost comes. and just sits at the desk and is like, I object!
Ghost v. robber.Right, like if you, I'm sorry, if you get buried in some gold and whatnot, you know, we gonna have to rob you.This seems fair.
Why do you think the family members don't claim the stuff?
And maybe they just don't know.
Yeah.They never knew.And sometimes they're not close to people.Like you might have a distant uncle who like you haven't talked to in a really long time.Yeah.So that's the lesson to all of us.Get in contact with all your distant relatives.
You never know who's dead and loaded.
Call up your great uncle Marvin and ask if he has any property.
Or if he has any plans to die anytime soon.
How you feelin' about life, Uncle Marvin?Good?So-so?
Do you intend to remain unmarried and childless for the foreseeable future, and so your assets will be available at the time of your death?
If you were to rate life from one to five, with one being the worst and five being the best, where you at? How long you wanna stay alive?Well, guys, that brings us to the end of a very fun episode.
Thank you guys so much for coming and being here with Nonsense.We always ask on this podcast, where would you like to be found? Anything you want to promote, anywhere you want to be found.That's such a deep question.
Where would you like to be found?I was taking it on a deep level too.I thought you meant like when you died.I was like, this is such a weird way to wrap up the episode.
We've had a great time, so where would you like to be buried? Where would your body, if you were gonna be discovered anywhere, what cool location would your dead body, your corpse, want to be shown?
Like all these things were going through my head.
I was thinking like the La Brea Tar Pits or something cool, you know?
Do you have a specific thing in mind, Nathan?
I don't know, it seemed cool.
I feel like that was too quick.
Former child model Nathan Kress was discovered at the La Brea Tar Pits.
Okay, that headline kind of hits.Right?Come on. That's old Hollywood, baby.That is old Hollywood.Okay, that's kind of cute.Okay, where would you like to be found?No, no, no, no.
Former childhood model Miranda Cosgrove found at... Disneyland.That's accurate.Yeah, it is.Statistically, you probably would.The animal shelter is exactly where you would be.Her vacuuming her Prius.I don't know.
That was never the question.I wouldn't make that clear.Okay, you go.
I want people to watch the last episode of the show.Is this going to air before that?It's going to air as it's streaming.Okay, awesome.The whole second season would be nice.
Yes, that's where we could be found.
I'm going to go big. Just one episode, please.Please, baby.Just the finale episode.
You don't even have to know what's going on.No, you gotta Cassie Chadwick this.Act like your hero.Ask him to watch everything from the original to the reboot.To the most recent episode by Carly.
Get those numbers up.Okay, and then what about social medias for you?
Oh, I have an Instagram.What?I do, yeah.Not a lot of people have that.Whoa.And it's under my name, Miranda Cosgrove.Yes, if you want to see some pictures of her in that clean car.
You can see them.You're in for a treat.
My social is for me at Twitter and Instagram at Nathan Kress.And then my podcast, Radioactive Dads, is on Adobe Radio every Wednesday at 3 p.m.Pacific, 6 p.m.Eastern, or anywhere you get your podcasts.
Me and my buddy just talk about being dads and shoot the breeze.
Isn't that so great?Nathan's such a great dad.Such a fantastic dad.Doing my best.With the cutest kids.I mean, London's clearly the better part.Obviously.
I'm doing the best that I can, and London is doing everything else to fill in all of the places where I just am, you know, falling down.
Nathan, you're exceptional even to regular terms.You're a great dad, but also like, If you ever worry, the bar is on the floor.In Los Angeles, when you drive around, there are billboards that are like, take time to be a dad.
Have you seen your child?
Talk to them today.Sing them a song.
Hug your son.These are advertisements.That's why you see Coca-Cola, you see Paramount Plus, and you just see like, do your job. Have you played catch with your son?
And you never see those for women.It's never like, take time to be a mom.Like, it's just expected.But dads are like, please don't, like, when you left the house, go back there.
I wonder if a dad's driving along the street and sees a billboard and goes, oh, shoot, that's right.
Oh, dang it, I forgot to be a dad today.Doggone it.
Damn it, I gotta, Siri, put a reminder in my calendar to be a dad.I got y'all. No, and guys, as always, you can search on your friends and family.Just hit up the podcast at scamgottaspot.gmail.com.
Just make sure your scam is retired, because we don't want to fuck up your back, y'all.I love the DMs.I love the tweets.I will engage with y'all.But if you're DMing me your scam, it's not going to get right on the show.
So go ahead and hit copy paste and email it to the podcast, please.I'm not going to open up.But I do respond to comments.
And then, guys, if you want to follow me and my shenanigans, D-I-V-A-L-A-C-I-D-V-A-L-A-C on all platforms, all of season two of iCarly is streaming now on Paramount+.Get into it, yes!Congregation, stay Cassie-ing or Betty-ing?Broomhilding?
Madame Marie Devereux-ing?Was there a Lydia?Yeah, there was a Madame Lydia-ing?
Lydia, Devereux, Marie, Rosa?
Rosa, yeah.Madame Marie Rosa, Devereux, Lydia-ing.
You got a lot of things to choose from.You can ing just about anybody you want at this point.
Stay Chadwick-ing.Bye-bye. This has been an Earwolf production in association with Team Coco.Scam Goddess stars and is hosted by me, Laci Mosley, aka Scam Goddess.
It's produced by Judith Cargbo, engineered by Marina Faiz, and researched by Kalen Brandt.Stay scheming!
This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.
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