Greetings Adventurers!Today, this very minute, marks the start of our Kickstarter for Unnatural Horrors!That's right, our 275-plus page tome is making its first steps towards being printed in hardcover!
I don't need to tell you how awesome it is, because most of you already helped us get to this point.
And our video on Kickstarter, which is there right now, check it out, the link is in the show notes, does a much better job of explaining the True Necromancer class and how for $666 you can make a monster with us, get artwork made of your monster, and an STL file you can use to print at home.
Or make an NPC for 500. This episode is a bit brief but packed with information that will either go right over your head or else connect a lot of dots for you depending on your level of interest.
I'm also really happy to have Ladybeard and Mike Villalobos join us in the show.I used to be in a rival band with Mike and we used to battle each other on stage. from Texas to Florida with arm cannons and accordions and all that madness.
And Mike is an amazing player of Dark Souls and Demon's Souls and Elden Ring and all those things.You can check him out on Twitch.He's awesome.And if you don't know Ladybeard, oh my gosh, check out Ladybeard's Wikipedia.Just do it.
Stop what you're doing right now and check that out. Anyway, we have a very exciting episode for you.But before we get to the episode itself, we have a very important sponsor for our show in the form of a flashback.Let's get to it.
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Come on.Ah!Ah.Syndrome.Oh.
No, no, it's fine.It's fine.Just had another one of those weird dreams.
You were saying many strange words, at least.
I was?Yeah.I was playing games at the scrying glass again with the quest portal spell.My old friends and I. It was such a nice dream.We had such a good time.
Happy. You know what, it was.Quest Portal created such a beautiful interface for our game, helped us swap notes and let us roll dice together.It's been so long since I've seen them.It's sad to know it's just a dream.Rolling dice with friends, I mean.
You're still young, believe me.And my clicking knees.
Hopefully.And I hope I can get quest portal.Imagine that, a few silver paid in components and suddenly I have a magical intelligence helping me create a great new memory.Such a good game.A great game.
Do you still remember the incantation?
Of course!Go to questportal.com forward slash dark dice or search for quest portal in the apple store or google play store.At checkout use coupon dark dice 30 for a one-time 30% off a pro subscription.Nothing yet though.
Well at least for now.But hold on to that until you get a scrying glass in your hands.You never know. I'm gonna feed the fire.Just keep that quest portal incantation in your mind and hold on to those happy dreams.That time will come.
Welcome back to your listeners to Dark Dice.I'm your co-guide in this story, Travis Vengroff, co-game master of Dark Dice.Previously, Sindri and his allies met up with the Lucky Die crew in the dream realm of Kromana.
If they wanted to escape, they would need to pluck the Eye of Prophecy from the spider goddess Farati.At least, that's what some elements of their party insisted. But could their new allies be trusted?Why was the shrieking woman following them?
And would they ever return home?I guess we're about to find out.
I'll grab the back of the rope, I'm not going to grab Elias."
With the aid of Zoltana, the dwarf was pulled up from the hole.He had black, greasy hair and a strange horseshoe-shaped scar over one eye, shaking heavily as he found his footing on solid ground.
Thank you.Thank you so much, friends.
Velen. Fail and iron shot.Sindri's ears perked up, recognizing the voice of a friend, a merchant he would regularly meet with, who shared updates on his family in Westman's Hold.
Vaylin, what are you doing here?
Sindri, I did not expect to see you here.
I, um... I didn't expect to see anyone here.
What are you doing... This... this room... I don't remember how I arrived here, but I've been falling for a long, long time.I'm so hungry.
Please, I have some food.Here, take some.
Thank you.Caulfield, who had entered with Syndri, noticed a key attached to Vaylin's necklace and pulled it, examining it under her lantern light.
I think this is it.You, we need this.
Vaylin did not even look up from his meal as Caulfield snatched the key.
Um, guys, something is happening in the hallway.There's some matter of darkness coming this way and doors are vanishing.If you have the key, I suggest that you get over here.We need to go.Yes.
I'll follow you.Sounds good to me.Let's go.
Yes, we have to go through a different door now that we have the key.
I'm almost there!Hold on!Second door on the right, that's what she said.Second door on the right, let's go!
As the team crawled out of the door, which was on the floor, now with an extra dwarf in tow, the spirit of the shrieking lady materialized, forlorn and glaring at balance.
And just as she phased out of existence, vanishing, he could feel a slight shove in the small of his back.
Would you fuck off with this already?Sixteen.
A push that felt very much like a mage hand.
The hallway that stretched before the team began to be engulfed by an oncoming darkness as Caulfield pushed forward.
For those listening to this as a podcast, Balance, or rather Arch, the actor for Balance, just disappeared from the zoom screen in a slow descending motion.
Don't worry, I'm just down here in garbage land, where I can't save any of my friends because I'm useless.
And as the team stood in the hallway, the doors behind them began to vanish one by one.The remaining doors could be reached if they were quick enough, but they would only have one chance to remember the correct door to take.
I believe it's time to run to the second door on the right.
Yes.It's locked!Use the key!Put the key in the door!It worked!Come on!
The group rushed into a small room, slamming the door behind them after Geetha and Rowena entered.They found themselves within an office, perhaps for a scribe, a priest, or librarian, smelled of incense, mildew, and old paper.
Everything is so weird here.I hate it.
It hates you too.It's simply a bad dream, and we need to get out of it.
Before the team, illuminated by a small metal lamp, was a cramped room containing a worn cot, a wooden desk, and a metal chair over a musty rug worn with age.
A crooked bookcase and a faded tapestry of a crystal-spired castle covered in spiders was the only hint to its former occupants' interests.
What are we supposed to be looking for?
We're looking for a giant ugly spider with red glowing eyes.
Githa said that Farate would be here.
No, I said we might find information here.
I'm trying to see if there's anything useful in terms of knowledge.There is a bookcase and there are books on the bookcase.Trying to see if there's anything that we need to know from those books.So, 24.
Over the course of the following minutes and conversations, Leryl and Balance searched the shelves, scanning the faded titles for anything of value and finding very little.
Most of the books were revealed to be blank, save for small tactile bumps which held no meaning to Balance.
But for Lyril, this was a secret language practiced by her people, especially those who preferred to read without light.
And as she poured through the texts, mostly treatises on forbidden magics, destiny, and prophecy, she came across a bound purple tome, a journal of prophecies written by the former occupant of this room.
While she read so much more, the most interesting verse, its final entry, read as follows.
I have been granted a vision that our home will be forever changed.I know not the hour, nor the day, only its inevitability, as unstoppable as the march of seasons.Fall will end, and winter will bring a most terrible darkness.
The shadow of war will envelop my beloved Darlyria on the night that blood from sacrifices too numerous to count stains the land.Their cries were torturous, well-being torturous.
Our captors' cruelty only matched by their devotion to that most terrible patron.
Before the Bell of Bone is struck, the All-Mother of Winter's forces will find their way, force their way here to our temple, and murder us for the unbending devotion they will claim as disobedience.
Our bodies will be broken, ripped asunder, and reanimated by a second-rate wizard named Caulfield.Looting scum, scavengers seeking to steal the power of a god. It is a terrible irony that our devoted congregation will fall under one so weak-willed.
But it is not the place of mortals to question our role in destiny.Though I will certainly die, there is solace in knowing that writing these words will lead to our vengeance.
As Lee relied Caulfield with unseen suspicion, Balance scoured the various theorems in the room, which, unknown to him, were written by a different hand entirely.
These parchments contained information on spiritual possession, speaking with the dead, and other esoteric designs of necromancy.
Balance was most interested in sections pertaining to willing possession, pouring over a parchment that outlined the process of attaching a spirit to a host body and memorizing the information before sharing it with the group.
Meanwhile, the rest of the party spoke with the intelligent mimics hidden in the room before killing them in a scene the co-DMs felt was too comedic to include in this episode and added nothing of value that would ever be referenced again.
A scene which would have also put this episode well over runtime. During this interesting time, the team did, however, locate a trapped door beneath the rug, and read another journal that they discovered out loud.
One that had, unknown to all but Lyril, been written by Caulfield.The journal, a work of fiction, spoke of miracles, gods, and the alleged transformation of Ferati into a monstrous husk.
Killing Ferati, the journal alleged, would be a true kindness, as the spider bitch would eventually turn on us as well. as the less magically inclined individuals in the party began to examine the trap door.
And Lyril has the book and the diary that she's carrying.
Can Lyril come with us?I feel like Balance just found a new friend.All I have to do is read to be Balance's friend more.Great.
It's okay.It's okay, Roll.You're still my best friend.
Balance just wants to have a friend who he can speak in a secret language with, who's also an elf.
Listen, we can start our own book club.
Exactly, and I'm fun because you never know what I'm gonna do.
As Liryl patted Caulfield on the back of her neck and stood up, she couldn't help but smile at her new friends.
Liryl, the newest member of the Lucky Die.
Through the disorienting abyss of the trapdoor, they once again found the shift of gravity, pulling themselves up into the darkness before understanding that they were now within a human cave that exited too, a dark beach, a serene scene of lapping waves and star-filled night.
The ebbing flow of rads, an aurora of sorts, lulling overhead as if to mirror the waters beneath.
Instead of a moon, there was simply a skull, partially obscured by the celestial darkness as a titanic wave of living crabs pulled further and further from them with each passing moment.
From this distance, waves of water could be heard mutedly crashing upon the shore.And further up the beach, perhaps by a mile or 1.6 kilometers, a lighthouse was visible, its blue light flashing once or twice every minute.
Father Spike writes himself up.I do not approve of these dreams.They are twisted and disgusting.
Yeah, well, we ain't got a choice.
Did you guys learn anything from those books?Do we know how to get out?Do we know where... Do we know where she is?She's in there.
I don't think the books had anything really to do with getting out.Just other interesting tidbits.Well, things to do with getting spirits out, but not really applicable for any of us, unless any of you are spirits.Raises an eyebrow.
I think we might have out to be.
Well, I mean, that's a fair observation, but we should probably go.
Can we just take a short break to gather ourselves?You know?
There is not enough time to rest, but the journey need not be rushed.
Lyril quietly examined the crescent-shaped charm on the necklace that she'd picked up, confirming it as being the symbol of the Allshadow before pocketing it and electing to withhold this information while removing the wax from her hands.
And just like that, Jillian Caulfield was never spoken of again.
Lyril would like to explain some of the necromatic things that she and Valens read to the rest of the party, but in a concise manner.
Yeah, I imagine between Lyril and Balance, we can kind of break down roughly.We request that if anybody sees the screaming lady again, do not attack and get his attention.His being, get Balance's attention.
Not to attack the creature.
What happened back there with that lady?
Um. I think that might be Ninverna.
Oh.I'm- I'm sorry.And she walks over and kinda like, pats him.Awkwardly.That awkward, like, when your- your friend is in pain but you don't know what to do, Pat.
Valen the Dwarf looked up to meet Balan's gaze.Your friend is Infernal.
No, her name is Ninverna.She was a friend of mine from a long time ago.We've been trying to find her spirit because she... I thought perished, but I think that she may be here, and I think that screaming lady is her.
The smell of vomit dissipated somewhat as Vaylin stepped further away from balance.
Leto nods her head at balance.I am sorry to hear this.Pain is ever-present.
I don't think it's just pain, it's guilt. I am partially to blame for why she's here.
You sent her to this dream realm?
Not intentionally.I have certain abilities that were acquired through less than ideal means, which, when I acquired them, I was unable to control and accidentally blew her brains out because of it.
I can understand the guilt.
This happened because you were... forcing down your powers?
Because I had... the powers forced upon me and had no idea how to control them.
But you know how to control them now?To a precise T. We all have things happen to us.You are no more to blame than a child that didn't know how to swim.
Speaking of swimming, Ral is definitely walking in the water more than he is walking on the beach. He's like probably waist deep.He just wants to wade in it to calm himself down.He likes the water.
The water was gentle and cool.It was curious to discover that while the water did indeed move from the tide, it lacked life and the flourishings of organic movement.
Is it salty?He just, he just wants to wade in it to calm himself down.He's not like trying to drink from the ocean.He's been on the ocean before. But it's a dream ocean.Oh, maybe it's cotton candy.Balance!The ocean is cotton candy and dreams.Come on!
No, this ocean is only dream.
I don't think it's cotton whatever.
If this is all a dream, can we conjure things that we think of?Try it.
It's not our dream, I would doubt it, but it wouldn't hurt to try.
Sultana thinks of a really big pizza.
And Zeltanna thought of a really big pizza.
Liril thinks of the best armor that she can and imagines it appearing in front of her.
Liril thought of this and closed her eyes.She thought a little bit harder and opened them in disappointment.Reef looked at her in confusion.
She shrugs and pats his head.It was worth trying.Now I just really want that pizza.
Elias is between the water and the people.He's just off by himself drinking and he's muttering about how everyone is ridiculous, how he saw Lyril kill that woman, and how he made so many mistakes to join this group.
The party recovered one hit die of health during a short but resting walk.
I think that once the conversation kind of died down, he slowed back down and went to Rowena.
Valen, who had joined him, was surprised and almost saddened to see Rowena.She's here too, then.
Yes.It's... What are you doing in this dream realm?
It's a bit of a story.I didn't mean to interrupt your time with Rowena.
Yeah, she's here, she's sick.Lady Githa is taking care of her asses.
When I was stuck and falling, I was thinking over and over again, who would I want to see?Who could help me in this situation?And I found myself thinking of you.And surely enough, there you were.A blessing, like the sunrise after last light.
Here I am.Did you... Maybe really hoping for something in this dream realm makes it come true?Perhaps.
The nightcap fell from Rowena's hand.
Well, Westpike bends over and picks it up and just kind of holds it in his hand.
His young cousin had turned exceptionally pale, and without a smile to hide behind, the circles behind her eyes became deeper and more intense, larger than he would have expected them to be.
In the darkness, he also thought he could see a slight depression in the centre of her forehead, though it could have been the trick of the light.
She looks different.Unhealthy.
She is very sick.Been getting sicker by the day.She traveled with me and took upon herself a lot of guilt.I think it may be figuratively and literally eating her up inside.I watch Pike slips his silly little nightcap on her head.She needs to rest.
We have arrived. I leave this to you, heroes.I will keep your cousin safe and follow once it is clear.
The masked healer motioned ahead to the lighthouse while Vaylin stood beside her, ensuring that she kept her word.
Sindri kissed his fingers with a whispered prayer before touching them to Rowena's forehead and leading the team toward the lighthouse entrance with Sultana.
I would like to be somewhere in the middle.
Yeah, I'm close behind the front people, but not brave enough to be front.
So we have the Dwarven front line, we have the monks and myself in the middle, and we have balance at the back with the other non-combatants.I like this plan.
Monk squad.Hey, can we do the fusion dance?Is that a thing?
Not now. Beyond the door was a magical darkness through which they could not see or sense.And long they waited at the threshold.
Cowards.Lyril doesn't ask.She just walks past the others through the darkness.
That doesn't seem like a great idea considering you're a bow and arrow kind of girl.
No response from Lyril was heard.
Sultana steps into the darkness.
Yeah, Father Westpike steps side by side with her. in a single blink, the disorienting shadows enveloped them before receding beneath their feet.Dark Dice, The Long Road, Chapter 19, The Dream Is Over.
Featuring Hem Brewster as Rowena Granitepike and co-DM, Ithur Vitharsson as Father Sindri Westpike, Tanya Miloyevich as Liryl, Drew Tillman as Elias, Casey Edison as Eltana, Arch as Balance, Neil Martin as Rahl, and Travis Van Graaff as co-Dungeon Master.
Also featuring the voices of Carolyn St.Pee, Sabine Novakovich-Wagner, Sam Yao, Michael Villalobos, and Ladybeard.This episode was produced and edited with sound design by Travis Vengroff.
Originally edited by Neil Martin, with audio cleanup by Finner Nielsen.With mixing and mastering by Marisa Ewing of Hemlock Creek Productions.Featuring executive producers Dennis Greenhill, Carol Vengroff, AJ Punkin, and Michael Villegas.
With associate producer Shion Francois.This episode featured music by Neil Martin, Stephen Mullen, Brandon Boone, and Travis Vengroff. You can hear the other version of this episode by going to The Lucky Die and listening to their amazing podcast.
Please do it.You know you really want to, because it's a lot of fun.It's episode 50, and it's a lot of fun to listen to.So go check out The Lucky Die.
To support this production, please share your thoughts with friends, family members, co-workers, cult members, wherever you lurk on the internet, or within the darkness you dwell.
You can also help us eat and keep the lights on over at patreon.com slash foolandscholar.This is a Fool and Scholar production.Thank you for listening.
Thank you very much for bearing with us on this random, crazy, co-gymming, cross-podcasting event.This was crazy fun and stressful.
Sanity testing, insanity, stress and all the things.Oh my gosh, a lot of work went into making it happen.
Oh my God, yeah.I don't want to tell you how much work behind the scenes went into this.
I really enjoyed being able to say like, oh, here's the description of the thing.All right, go, Bollie.
Yeah, it's like, I'm going to set this all up.You've got this right, Bollie.I'm like, yeah, this is great.All right, so we'll do the outro.So Twitter, you can find the Lucky Die podcast at tldpod.
And Dark Dice at darkdicepod.
Hey, I've got a point.I've got a proficiency in that.Can I roll too?
When did you get a proficiency in history?
Because Sintel doesn't make any sense.None of my characters make sense anymore.
I have a proficiency as well.
Father Westpike grabs Rowena close and puts himself between her and the Screaming Woman.
Lyril moves in front of them, between them and the Screaming Woman, and raises her dagger, threateningly.
I saved your life, and now you stand to one side, you think?
I didn't say I wasn't gonna help you, I just said I moved out of the way.Balance is very pointedly putting Zoltana between him and the screaming woman.Of course you do.
Hashtag Team Dwarf, hashtag Team Elf.
Yep.Hashtag Team Mom.Team Mom.Yes.Yep.We have the pairs, this is incredible.
God, that's gonna be a Twitter poll if ever there was one.
Yeah, which team is the best team?
Yeah, I'd say team Dwarf because we're the most cohesive.We're both Dwarves, we're both religious, and we're both, we both have shields.So we're the most cohesive of all of us.
Here's my argument.Elias probably thinks Raul is in his imagination.So that makes him an imaginary friend, which makes it the best.
So if he actually like starts taking damage and start doing things, you need like a sanity to check.Wait, probably.
Flaw thinks he's in a fever dream.The monks are very confused.
Team Delusion.Seven radiant damage, so that's double damage for evil creatures like you.
Did you say double damage?What the fuck?
I was joking.I was implying that Balance is a horrid creature of the Underdark.
Okay, fair enough.It's an easy mistake to make, I guess.
Oh, you cast a spell.I'm young again.
You'll never be young because I can never take that deal to make you young again now.Oh, no.
My hopes and dreams are being erased like previously recorded audio lines from four years ago.
Cinder, are you okay over there?You sound like you're dying.Somebody picked a very wet log.It's now steaming all over the place.
Fog moss would be better than this crap.
I don't know who to blame.I'm gonna blame Elias.He probably pissed on it or poured his booze on it or some shite.
Whoever it was had spares.Oh god.They're all wet.
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