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I'm a new dad, maybe I should.Show her to the world, bro.Here's our baby.
I want to be careful with my answer, because I believe it could offend some DanTDM fans.We've made a better for you option.
Well, and it would have been fine if it was launched by normal people, but you guys are terrible people.
Nobody gets tired in 60 seconds.The reason he got tired is because he was put in a stressful environment that he's not used to.Bro, I could have killed him.You know how many people die by hippo?They're basically terrorists.
And while Mudane might look cute now.
We got a waterboard Mudane.
I'm going to get emotional, but watching Nina's motherhood activate was so f***ing cool because I knew she was going to be such a good mom.
Wait, before we start, can I just ask one question?Why is the villain Norman Bates from the movie Psycho sitting on the couch next to you right now?Because who is that guy, bro?And why does he slightly resemble Norman Bates from Psycho?
This is Adam.He's going to cut my hair.You've met him.He was in Puerto Rico.Of course you forgot.
I don't even remember what I had for breakfast last night.
You know, the sleep deprived father over here.Let me help them out real quick.
Yeah, dude, dude.I'm a dad now.Well, hold on.I'm a dad.I have a new baby, as everyone knows.Hold on, I need a zip of prime energy for this.Late nights, Mike.Actually, long nights, long nights.My baby is asleep, is a night owl who doesn't sleep.
Is that what they usually do when they're fresh out the package?
I didn't think people were serious.She doesn't know what night and day is.
How long you had the kid for at this current filming juncture?She's six days old.I talked to you two days ago to ask you how it was going.I was like, how's everything going?
You know, you're like, oh man, dude, some of the longest nights of my life, bro.I don't know how much I'm going to be able take this, dude.
Well, you're like, dude, it's just been terribly stressful.No, it's not.But the good news is we've got it all figured out, and it looks like only clear skies from here.I go, bro, you haven't even gotten to the starting line yet.You're four days in.
I thought it was the opposite.I thought I was like, man, things are great.She's such a good baby, and she is all those things, and things are great.But I think now she's decided she's gonna test us.She's gonna be a real hardcore Night Owl baby.
What, over the past six days, has made you... Oh, because she stays up late.
Hold on, I don't wanna talk about her, she's right here.
Yeah, no, I'm a new dad.Maybe I should. Show her to the world, bro.Clickbait.Here we go.Baby.Here's our baby.Brand new to the world.Here we go.Lunchly is now in stores.Kroger, Albertsons, and all the banners it flies under.
Turkey cheese and cracker stack is right here.And nacho cheese. It's well, people aren't happy that I was, I'm branding, you know, I'm branding.
I'm using the attention from my baby to brand my new product Lunchly, which has a prime meat, the baby feastables.You know, I probably never actually let you meet her.
Just, just because the way you look, you just, the way you look, you know, it's not very nice.
It's a terrible thing to say painter, Mr. Painter pants. Bro, can I ask you a serious question?Congratulations on the baby.Congratulations on the launch of this product that has just really, really angered a lot of people.So many people, bro.
I just, I have to, and I have to say I feel for them. There have been many snacks and beverages that have upset me to a point that I almost had a manic breakdown.And I've seen the breakdowns happening on social media over the past couple of weeks.
I get it.Some people have offended you with their snack.I'm offended by this snack.But I have a little bit more of a reason to be because it's just another thing on this fucking table.
Like every day I come, it's like, Wolf, you know, guys, new product, drink.No, no, do this one.No, do this one.Do this one.Speed sold out, luxury products.Bro, you are just a fucking billboard.I know.Okay?
The idea of sitting on a podcast while representing your brand is ridiculous.You guys are just sitting here, just, you're being fucking programmed by these brand specialists.It's just a billboard.
We got a pink wall now.What's happening?Yeah.What's that?Well, pink, pink wall, pink daughter.Daughters.Uh, I had a daughter.
So let's get into which one first.Yeah, let's do it.
Let's do it.No, no.I mean, I mean, we, we, I mean, we get the upsetting snack.I don't know.We can talk with lunch.I just don't know what is there, what there is to say.Like I made a video about it and, um,
I just can't believe that we're in a place where people are mad about a turkey cheese and crackers sandwich.
It's not even so much him.
TDM.Who is he?What is he?Michael, I want to be careful with my answer.Got it.Because I believe it could offend some Dan TDM fans.Because my answer is, I don't know.
I don't either.And I don't mean that in even a slightly disrespectful way.I'm not trying to... It's like... I think it's...
representative and indicative of how deep the YouTube sphere goes, that someone could come out and make a statement and you're like, who's that guy?
And 40,000 of his fans or a hundred, how many- Hundreds of thousands of millions, hundreds of millions.
They're just like, oh, he's the Mr. Beast from Belize.Like where, who is he?From Belize.Yeah, who is, who is Dan MD, DMT?Here's what I do know.DMT?Is that what it is?Yes, yes.He just has a drug channel where he smokes the toad all day?
Well, he smokes the toe and he plays Minecraft.
Oh, he's a Minecrafter.Is that what he does?
Is he as big or less big than the young kid that we had on that one time?Jack Daugherty?No, the kid that was the Minecrafter that we had on in England.
But yeah, DanTDM is apparently pretty big.He's got a lot of fans who like his Minecraft content.And hate you. Well, I guess all I can do is hear him and hear what people are saying.And we're a company that listens to the consumer and the feedback.
And we have some stuff in the pipeline.I think that's gonna excite people.
But yeah, man, I think we're in a weird spot where tearing people down and hatred and negativity gets way more attention, clicks, and views than the opposite, which is a little sad.
Because in a world where YouTubers are trying to expand and build businesses, I do feel like there should be a level of support.
I think YouTubers should be supporting YouTubers, and I guess I hear what he's saying, but we've made a, when compared to Lunchables, a better-for-you option.
Well, and it would have been fine if it was launched by normal people, but you guys are terrible people. All three of you are awful humans.
do?J.J.is the only one that's semi-safe, bro.I love him.He's great.And I love that he just makes everything a joke.He turns everything into a joke.And Mr. Beast, too, is also great.He's awesome, dude.It's kind of just you.It's just me.
Which is crazy now. I don't know, bro.I haven't really been doing much.I'm just kind of hanging out.What have I done?I'm just trying to build businesses and raise a family.You made an offensive snack.
I'll tell you that much.Fiesta nachos.I know, but that's offensive to Mexicans.It is.Kevin, are you offended by that?Yes.You should have called that one lunch-lia.Lunch-lia.
No, no, no.Here's my rule.If you're going to hate on this, Try the product first.And if you still hate it, do your worst.But my issue is...
If we were to make anything other than this, it would kind of be inauthentic, because this is a meal I grew up eating and still love to eat to this day.
So I thought, why not just make our own version, but better than the existing version in Lunchables?
You want to know the crazy thing?That I eat two a day?I've not tried it yet.You've not tried Lunchables?And I don't think, do you want to know my one issue with this product?Sure.And I'm going to be kind of transparent and serious.
You have this product, right?Prime.Those things can sit in freaking Haiti for this product for a year and a half.You don't like refrigerated goods?Bro, why would you launch a perishable product?They sent three of them to my house.
I also saw you got robbed by a door-to-door package stealer.
He didn't steal the Lunchly?
He did not.Probably because it was too warm.He stole my donut shop coffee. Which is my favorite thing.36 count from Amazon.My 36 count of Donut Shop Coffee.I have no coffee in my home right now.
Donut Shop Coffee reached out, shout out to Donut Shop Coffee and their social media team who saw that I was robbed and sent me a big supply.That was really cool.And also, vote Nathan Hockman for DA of Los Angeles.Why?
Gascon, not to get political because you know I don't do it very often, that man has ruined the city.I'm not even super upset about the social experiment that goes on on our coastlines in New York and L.A.
I never had too much of a problem with, you know,
this sounds crazy you can't really say you don't have a problem with homeless people but like the idea that they're gonna like push around a shopping cart and you know have like weird stuff in it and people are gonna be smoking meth and they are doing that doesn't bother you i mean because you have you want it's correct and also how do you solve that issue that's an issue that's going to take some massaging right bobby kennedy or someone's going to have to fix this thing right the issue is that in la crime has been
decrimed and that goes all the way up to like semi-violent crime like it's they're doing this experiment at the citizens of Los Angeles expense where they're just like, oh, you know what?
You wanna steal from people, you wanna break into houses, you wanna do all these things, possess weapons, that's fine.That's so weird.Ridiculous.So weird.
Angering and ridiculous when I look at the people that I know and people that are paying the highest tax rate in the country, 53%, to be robbed and beaten and tortured by this extremely ridiculous social strategy.
So Nathan Hockman, if you're watching this, You have my vote for DA.I would love to return some order to the city of Los Angeles, and if you can, fucking out of there, bro.
I recognize this unfolding about three, four years ago, and I was able to dip before it got really bad.My question to you is, do you think that guy got home thinking he hit the jackpot and was like, damn, I just got coffee pots?
It's great coffee. 36 count, bro.I got the big box.And did you see that robbery?We can maybe even put it on the screen.He had a getaway driver and an automatic sliding door that they waited for it to close very slowly.
It was like a comedy scene from a movie.They waited for the door to close all the way, probably buckled up in the backseat and took off with his coffee.
It is like a life goal of mine when I'm at your house to like catch someone trying to rob you. Well, like I'll be honest, like if I open the door and this guy's stealing one of your packages, I would punch a hole in his face.I'd punch, no, no, no.
But I actually mean I'd punch a hole through his face.My question is, if you're being robbed in Los Angeles and you do something about it, now am I the criminal?100%, not even kidding.
So here's the deal.If they are posing a certain risk to your body, meaning if they come in your home, You can lay down hellfire, now only 10 rounds, but you can lay down hellfire, right?
If they're in your house facing you and they've broken through a door, but if they're taking your coffee and you hit them, it will be like when somebody gets hit in a car accident, they're like, my neck, my neck.They'll sue your ass, bro.
It's insane, bro.It's a fucked up situation.We need better leadership there because the current leadership, the current administration of Gascon and Newsome is,
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Bartesian is the premier craft cocktail maker that automatically makes more than 60 seasonal and classic cocktails, each in under 30 seconds at the push of a button.And right now, Bartesian is having a huge site-wide sale.
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Congratulations on your child.Thank you.It's incredible.You somehow surpassed me in age with one simple deed.
You're older than me now.Insane.Did you see the clip of me talking about being a dad five years ago?I called it.Did you see it?Oh yeah.
You said in five years I'm going to, I'm going to have a kid.
Not just that.I don't know if I'll be married, but I'm going to have a kid.That's exactly.And at age 29 I said, I want a quaint life, beautiful woman, beautiful daughter.I want a family.And guess what you said? In the clip.
It's not going to happen.You said, I don't see it.You said, I don't see it.Well, I don't see any, I have no vision.Like I can see physically, but I don't strategize.Like you have no idea.
If I told you what I did over the past week, you wouldn't believe it.Tell me.It would be quick because I want to hear about the damn kid.All right.But I can't make a really quick one.OK.
I went to Singapore, went to the Hawkers, to the cheapest Michelin rated restaurant in Singapore.I got six dollars for a Michelin rated restaurant.I did a karate combat. I flew back to Los Angeles.I launched a represent 1010 collab at a burger chain.
Then I flew to Philly yesterday and did a drug reform round table with Robert F. Kennedy Jr.and others.And then I came here to do the show and then, yeah.Oh, you're crushing it.Well, I don't know.And I started shooting a documentary.
No, bro, come on, you're crushing it.For someone who doesn't like move a lot, you're moving.Just the left leg.Go ahead, baby.Okay, Michael.I am not sure if I'm my best self at the moment. because I'm pretty tired, which is why I'm drinking this.
Zoom in.Dream Prop Prime Energy, which is 18 plus.No, but everyone told me about being tired and I thought back to my like early vlog days, you know, daily vlogs, early twenties.
Dude, I'd sleep four to six hours a night every night for a year straight and I was fine. I can't really move like that at 29, man.I need my sleep.I need my sleep.
And yeah, my baby, my beautiful baby girl, Esme, is a night owl who we're still figuring out because she's still figuring out everything. Logic doesn't apply to a baby.You can't be like, what do you mean?It's 2 a.m.Go to sleep.
You've been up for three hours.And we tried everything.Doesn't matter.She wants to fuss.She's gonna fuss.
At what age does any semblance of consciousness even begin?I don't know.What does she know about the world right now?Imagine you're like, oh, I think she has gas.I'm sure that's one of the things.Okay, just blow a toot.
She doesn't even know that she's a human.She just... She doesn't even know that she exists.Does that make sense?
The only thing she knows is I'm hungry. I'm hungry, that's all.And when she's in pain, she wails.And the gas thing is interesting.
I can, dude, I mean, I guess this is the podcast, but I could do a full deep dive on the birth, parenthood, the responsibility and hardship of the mother from the beginning of the pregnancy.
Like, man, people do not talk about how hard it is for women during pregnancy.Not even just during, during, after,
I'm sure somebody talks about that.They're clearly not talking about how hard it is for the man.You don't have to do shit.You just have to keep pissing people off with snacks.
I'm doing stuff now besides the pissing off, the snack pissing off.Because I see Nina breaking her back for ten months making sure this baby is the healthiest child that could possibly be.
Like, bro, I'm traveling the world, I'm drinking, I'm partying, I'm not, you know, I'm living my life.My life hasn't been altered.She has devoted every second of her life for 10 months to this being.And now that it's here, it's not over.
Welcome to the fourth trimester, the hardest trimester.Life.Life.Yeah.Where now her body is still owed to this baby and that she has to feed the baby.We obviously take care of it.And everyone told me,
before I had this baby, they're like, this is going to be the best thing that's ever happened to you.You think you've had a life, but it really starts now.
It's the most light, like, you know, these superlatives that I was like, I, like, I hear a whole life's going to change in an instant.Yeah.Yeah.But like, you know, I, you know, I was the United States champion.
So like was, you know, that's a fucking joke, a shitty joke.But, um, but I, you don't understand it until it happens.
And as someone who lives in the realm of possibility, and I visualize, I manifest, I was trying to really let that feeling sink in when people told me, because everybody was saying the same thing.For the first time, everyone's saying the same thing.
It's the greatest thing you'll ever do.And I'm literally like,
Damn, I've done some cool stuff, but this is so hard to imagine, Mikey, within four minutes of this child being born, and I looked her in the eyes and saw, I'm not gonna keep it together here, but just saw how precious she was and how much she's relying on me and her mother, who is sacrificing her life to make sure that everything goes right with this baby.
I felt a love, an endless, infinite love instantaneously that I've never felt in my life.I love two women in my life, you know, Nina and my mom.All of a sudden, there's a third little woman here who instantaneously has my entire soul.She has
my heart, she's lit my being on fire, and I would do anything for her.And so, yes, I'm sitting here, I'm a little tired, we haven't been sleeping much, and all of this is new to me like it's new to her.
We're talking to this baby like, we're gonna figure this out, us too, by the way, because they don't tell you anything.
No one prepares you for parenthood.Do you think it has something to do with the fact that 21 billion people have done it already and they're just like, well, it's you'll figure it out.
So, so, so yes.And also that fact alone really comforts me and Nina because I recognize that like everyone else has done it.Like it can't be that hard.It fucking is.It's extremely hard, but you figure it out.
And what no one tells you is, although it is extremely hard and it is extremely rewarding, you would do anything for this little girl.So it's all worth it.
And I'll lose as much sleep as I need to, to make sure that she's as healthy as she can be and she gets whatever she needs from us.
How was, okay, there's a million questions I could ask.First and foremost, was this, would you now put September 26th?Yeah, her birthday.Great.
As the greatest day of your life?
And by the way, if you're serious, that's also fine.I'm serious.What was the greatest day of your life?
The day me and Nina got engaged.Engaged?Engaged, yeah.Yeah.
Sorry, sorry.Yeah, the day me and Nina got engaged.Why is that?Because greatest day, that's a 24-hour period.
That 24-hour period of me and Nina getting engaged from money in the bank, flying to Lake Como, adjusting the trip, doing the proposal, asking her dad, all of it was the greatest day ever.
The moment that Esme was born, by far the greatest moment of my life.That moment of birth, and by the way, that experience and seeing it go down is so fucking beautiful.It was, it was... I mean, there's no words to describe the miracle of life.
I saw it.I think it's probably the most magical thing our species is capable of.And so I turned my attention to Nina and our doctor was a pro, Mike, a pro.Got the baby out, plopped her down on Nina and like, oh, I'm going to get emotional, but like,
watching Nina's motherhood activate like, like in an instant, dude, was so fucking cool because it's the reason I chose her as my fiance because I knew she was going to be such a good mom and fuck.
I didn't want to do that, bro.
I'm not, what an incredible moment.
I don't, I didn't need to get emotional.I'm just, you know, I'm a little tired.
Yeah, that happens to me, too.When I get super tired, it heightens my emotions.But it's also OK, man.Why don't you stay over here and cry on camera?
Guys, bro, people meme it.
That's fine.They're going to meme you anyways.Everybody already hate.That's the thing about you.You can do anything you want because no one likes you anyways.
You're right.Congratulations.Thanks, Adam.Is it good?Yeah, you look good.OK.Yeah.Thank you, bro.
Appreciate you.You're very welcome.Thank you.You got to come meet this little girl.I'm coming up, bro.OK.OK.Cool.
See you, Norman Bates from Psycho.
Bro, no.If you use a tissue, you're gonna get memed.
Let me blow my nose off.I get sniffly, bro.
Oh, can we do like a... Logan cried and then it cut?
No, because I'm not wailing.I just like don't want to... No, yeah, you are kinda.
When you went off stage, I saw you were crying.You need to get burped or something.Put over someone's shoulder, you know?
Yeah, dude, she's... Look.
Kids never met an actor like this kid before, I'll tell you that much.No, that's the thing.I can't act to save my life.No, I saw the thinner. The thinning, bro.
It's about my hair.Dude, you and I both, buddy.I'm gonna need to go back to Turkey.So yeah, dude, I chose the perfect partner.And maybe I'm a little biased.She's the greatest thing on the planet.She's the greatest thing on the planet.Esme Agdal Paul.
Beautiful little baby.I miss her already.
How many syllables is the name?
Because you remember the obvious massive fight over Sloane Vine.Sloane Vine.So it's an it.Your niece.Because yes, because the length of the name is equal.It's actually shorter.Crazy, crazy how words and sounds are syllables.
But you're still not going to fall back on the Sloane Vine violence.So what do you mean?I love the name Sloane now. You also had the name Lily.
Dude, dude, that was gonna be the first name.I know.We didn't know her name until she came out.We needed to catch a vibe with this little baby.And Lily was choice number one because we both have Grandma Lilies.It has a lot of sentimental value.
It means purity.Yeah.That's what it means.So you went with Esme, which is a French name.
Soft S. Esme.Not not not so much for like what it means.It does mean beloved.It's an old French participle.Esme, Esme, Esme.Esmeralda.No, not Esmeralda.
I'm sorry.It's short for Esmeralda.That's as long as far as I'm concerned.You brought back a girl.I wouldn't be surprised if you name your next daughter Gertrude.
What are some other ones in that space?Hey, let's do some men's ones.You should name your first son Winston.
Oh my god, that's amazing.Dude, old names need to come back.
What are some other- Linda. Linda's like- No, but Linda's- In 2024.No, but Linda's like 60s America.Yeah.Gertrude is like 20s.Okay.Like, what are some other?Jane.Agnes.Agnes.Agnes is number one.
Like, if we were playing family name feud right now, you would have got the top ting, Agnes, and the crowd would have gone crazy, and then they would have saw it was you and booed.But Gertrude, Agnes, Tabitha.
Wait, I actually have notes here because... Notes on what?Just all of this, because again, I don't think the conversation is had enough about the process of giving birth.
the hardship on Nina both physically and mentally, especially during the labor.And she had a really solid labor.It was in total 12 hours, which isn't that bad at all.But I don't know if this is too much information.I'll have to run this by her.
But she had to get induced, which is pretty normal.
It's not abnormal.Unless you're a, what's it called, a natural birther.You want to blow up a swimming pool in your living room and pop the baby out there with a fucking piece of wood sitting under you or something like that.
Yeah, but that's hard.But you're not that.Well, we couldn't be because the baby wouldn't allow it.
No, I get it, but also like Hey, man, it's 2024.Like, take advantage of the modern science.
Yeah, but I'll be honest, I can totally see why someone would want to have a home birth.Dude, hospitals are, and we went to a really good hospital with really good staff, but it's like they're, you know, it's a hospital.
It's sterile. It's very sterile.It's very sterile.Uninviting.
Exactly.I brought string lights, Polaroids that I clipped up.I had music playing.I brought a blow-up mattress.I got a salt lamp.I turned the hospital room into a vibe.And thank God, because when we got there, Nina was...
not incredibly happy that she had to get induced.It's a bit of a thing, man.It's kind of invasive.And apparently the contractions from an induction are like a whole other beast.What you know about Pitocin, motherfucker? No, you don't.
I don't know anything about, I don't even know about oxytocin cause you're an addict.But also, but also like just, just so you're aware, like while you were doing all this, I was screaming at a television hoping that my parlay bet hit on prize picks.
Like you have to understand how very different our lives are.Like, like I, they were in conjunction like until this Mike.No, no, they weren't.You were swaddle. Was he the wide receiver?Is he the wide receiver for the Dolphins?Or no, it's Toddle.
No, what's the wide receiver's name on the Dolphins?Yeah, I was betting for him last night.I had him on my six leg last night and he fucking, he met Waddle.Waddle.Swaddle.No, no, no, no, no.
I'm talking about Swaddle.Do you know what a Swaddle is?
I don't know where he plays.
Is he tight end?No.He's not on any of my parlays this week.Mikey, I didn't know what a, I didn't know what any of this stuff was.Swaddle, Meconium. Pitocin?Oh, draconian?No.That's a political term.Yeah, I don't know about any of that stuff, bro.
I have no emotional intelligence, okay?I'm doing every, some of it is.Because in order to get to the baby, you had to allow love into your life and be loving.I'm still working on having access to that stuff through therapy, okay?
But right now, I do love to gamble, okay?And I love food.And I've been thinking about getting on Ozempic.We can get on that.
Well, just as more of an experiment.I don't consider myself fat.I could try not eating it.I think it would work.You're not fat.I'm not fat.It's just the way you're shaped.Remember that one kid said he looks like lasagna?Do you remember that?
Do you remember that?Is that what he said?Lasagna, like human lasagna.I don't know, bro.I've been working on my posture.That's good. That's good.
But all this to say, bro, like, yes, dude, like, no, I'm nowhere near watching a woman fucking SpaceX a child out of her vagina.You know what I'm saying?If only it were that smooth.That's the thing.
You know, they say practice isn't always smooth either. They have some problems.Do they?I feel like they have trouble landing those fuckers.
No, I mean, well, they've gotten better.I think Elon's hit rate with the landing is pretty good.China's down bad, though.They just had a they just had a rocket explode.
Oh, they tried to fuck everything up.Yeah.But you think China would be like ahead of?No, it was made for two two dollars.
Black Friday is coming, and for the adults in your life who love the coolest toys, well, there's something for them this year, too.
Bartesian is the premier craft cocktail maker that automatically makes more than 60 seasonal and classic cocktails, each in under 30 seconds at the push of a button.And right now, Bartesian is having a huge site-wide sale.
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50 cents of child laborers took fucking did 6,200 children work around the clock to build a fucking ICBM that crashed into the fucking Red Sea or whatever.What's over there?I don't know.The Beijing Strait.What's the Strait?Beijing Strait.
Between there and Taiwan?
The, uh, the Gulf of Mexico.
Yeah, that's what it is.Arriba.Okay.Sorry.What were you saying about vaginas?No, Pitocin.Okay.Okay.So these contractions, I bet you don't know what that is either.I do know what that means.It's, it's a, it's the time in between something.
It's something that there's time in between.
Yes, exactly.So the contractions will get closer together and more intense.As it's about to burn.Closer to the labor, but it takes a while and apparently pitocin contractions, when you are induced, are like a whole different beast of pain.
And Nina was convinced she's going to do it without an epidural.Do I need to explain that?Okay, I'll do it.An epidural is like essentially getting a spinal tap.I know because I watched it.The doctors told me, don't watch it.
Guys say they're cool and they can pass out.And I go, I'm not going to pass out.They go, no, really?Like you shouldn't watch this.
You would be the dude that passes out.
Well, that's what I said.I said, I don't, I said, I go, I'm not going to pass out.And then I was like,
I feel like I probably could pass out.I could see them with like smelling salts, like fanning your face while she's doing this crazy thing.And all you did was have to watch.
Yeah.They said, they go, they go, please don't watch.Cause if you pass out now we have two patients.So anyways, essentially spinal tap.They take a needle this fucking big and jam it in my fiance's lower spine and then like go like this with it.
And then, then just load her up with fluids that essentially paralyzes her from the waist down so she can't feel the contractions.And by the way, thank God.
Thank God for modern medicine because she really didn't want to get induced, plan out the window, had to get induced because the baby was too big and she's on week 40.She's ready to go.And she also did not want to do an epidural.
Wait, what was the weight?Cause it wasn't even that big of a baby, was it?Like eight five or something?
Eight pounds.She was supposed to be eight pounds, 10 ounces, which is a, it's a relatively big baby, but she came out much lighter.Like the calculations were off.I don't, I don't know.But regardless, she got caught.
You were, you were probably a 10 pounder.
I was a big ass baby, bro.That doesn't surprise me.Hey, big Mike.Hey, big baby Mike.Yeah.So anyways, epidural, thank God Nina was, Nina tried to do these contractions for about three hours. You know, it's 4am and she goes, babe, I'm hallucinating.
I'm like, what do you mean?She goes, I'm seeing dogs in this room.
Oh, what?Like Haiti.The Haitians with the dogs. Fire, so having a baby makes you hallucinate?
No, not getting the epidural on pitocin contractions could make the pain so unbearable, your body starts to release DMT in the brain to make you hallucinate, to try to bear the pain.She goes, fuck this, I'm getting an epidural.
I was like, thank God, why'd you wait this long?Use modern medicine.Epidural, bro. Changed the entire experience.She called it fun at the end.She said that was fun.
I said what the Yeah, because she was go through hell woman because she thought she was in space for that period of time She thought she was fooling around at the international space.
Yeah, she did.She did.Whoa She absolutely crushed it though.And learning all of this stuff.And by the way, now that the baby's here, doctor goes, here's a swaddle.
It's like you take a piece of cloth and wrap the baby up so she doesn't move around at night.This is how you change a diaper.I don't know how to fucking change a diaper.
Dude, you gotta make sure you put that diaper rash stuff on too.
Yep, petroleum jelly.And also I'll say this, this will surprise the boys.I'm on diaper duty. I've been allocated diaper duty.
That doesn't surprise me at all.
Why?I hate poop.I hate disgusting things, but I'll be honest, that's disgusting.Until you see this little child and you realize I love you so much.I'll literally do anything for you, including this, with pleasure, little lady.And so I love it now.
I'm on diaper dad duty and I got a message for all the dads out there that are unwilling to change diapers.You're a fucking pussy. Show up for your kids, help your wife out.Seriously, it's not that bad.
I hope the diaper dads beat you up.Let me tell you something.
No one's beating me up, bro.
Except maybe LA Knight.I think Bradley can do it.I'm coming back.What did you just say?I think Bradley can do it if you give him another chance.
I just went on his show to finally unpack it all.
Wait, hold on, before we get there, because I want to get there.I was going to ask you if The Birth had any sentimental or directional changes on your thoughts on mortality.For sure.
Wow.It's clear to me that this is not a next chapter.This is an entirely new book. This is an entire, book closed, new life begins.And I can feel already with the birth of this baby, time's gonna fly, man.
She's gonna be my age way quicker than I realize it.And I'm gonna be, what, 58, 64, 74, I don't know.
How old does that make me at that point?
Probably not even, I mean.
74, no, no, no, no, no, I'm locked in. I'm locked in.My grandmother was 94.My grandfather was 94.
Yes.I'm locked in.That's just on my mom's side.My dad's side didn't fare so well.I hope you got your mom's genes.
That's another thing.Thank God this baby has Nina's genes.Most of them.All the good ones.I was really nervous about this.We're talking about birthing a little baby girl and I'm like,
I would much rather prefer she comes out with that Scandinavian olive skin, Nina's thick, long hair.Luscious locks.You know me, I'm thinning, I'm pale.I feel like I would feel bad for her.
Sure enough, man, this baby comes out with all the best parts of Nina and she has my eyes and really long lashes as well.She's such a cute little creature.It's almost like
You can't even believe she's real.Yeah, why don't you save that shit for Caller Daddy, dude?Okay, you sent a bunch of Prime to North Carolina to help as a relief for this awful hurricane, Helene.Is that how you pronounce it?Helene, right?
I don't watch any news anymore, but I just know it's been absolutely terrible.People are displaced, people are missing, people are dead.
And I saw that you sent that stuff over on Twitter, and one of the comments was, this was all just pulled off shelves for PFAs last week in every grocery.
Like, not only is that not true, it wasn't pulled off shelves.We don't have forever chemicals in our drink. It's just the lawsuit was frivolous.The plaintiff is full of shit.It's getting, it got dismissed.I don't like it irks me to my core.
The amount of misinformation.
It's life in the new era.It's life on X and on tick tock.I had this conversation.We could go to Bradley Martin now because I had this conversation on his show the other day. You almost just have to work around it.
The idea that there is- Not if you're me.Not if you're me.No, no, no, I hear you and you can call it out, but your call out and your settlements in court will get one one hundredth of the press that the- And that's the issue.
So how much- Do you think anyone's going to report on the caffeine lawsuit?
Prime is too much caffeine.See you in court.Class action.Dismissed.Do you think anyone's going to report on that?
No, I hear you, but like trying to battle it online.I don't believe anything I hear anymore.Like I go online, I go, you know, remember how they said X was, and all these social media channels were going to replace the mainstream news.
And the mainstream news are liars that are, that are corporate greed and aligned with companies.
Now you have click baiting X users who are getting paid to do the same shit and worse and worse, because I'll tell you this, I'm ready to say, I've said this a million times.
There is at least some level of journalistic responsibility and some level of oversight there.Bro, you go on X, this shit's insane.It is completely and utterly... just unhinged.
It is a shithole.A shithole full of falsehood, untruths, defamatory statements, no one being held accountable because they have anonymous accounts.A platform that is supposed to have an entity that regulates truth, community notes, lies.Is that not?
I've been seeing your battles.That's so funny because it's one of my, the only things I actually like about the platform that he at least is trying to do with the community notes. You get smoked.Well, because bro, you think about it.
You have a community of people. Humans.And who are the type of people you think sign up to put notes on people?People that in real life have no power, but on Twitter, they can put what they want on their notes.
And as long as it gets enough upvotes by enough people who hate Logan Paul, whether it's true or not, it's deemed as truth.And like, people don't see that in community notes.Fucking, they smoke me, bro.And I have a real problem.
Like, dude, if I ever get to talk to Elon, the one thing I'm going to say to him is the community notes at you. It's a major issue.It's not the only... Bro, if... It's not the only... Take the community notes out of it, dude.
Let me tell you two people who have had huge comebacks on X over the past year. Hitler's number one.Hitler has made a massive comeback on X. He is being elevated.
He's being called a statesman and a promoter of nationalist beliefs that will keep the country together.I'm seeing this happen in real life.People are actively rewriting history in real life.And there are,
Obviously, the dumbest of Americans and people out there are buying it, but also kids.Kids are reading this stuff and saying like, oh, there were wooden doors, there weren't even any gas chambers, there were swimming pools at Auschwitz.
No, because they're falling for the propaganda, the same thing Hitler said back then, because AI is translating it into English.
Now they can understand what Hitler was saying in English.But guess what?It's translating the things that he said that weren't bad into English.He gave speeches on a myriad of topics, bro.But guess what he also did?
Killed millions of fucking people, bro.Okay, so like, I don't care how much that, like, for me, I know the truth, but it's just, it's scary to watch and painful to imagine where it's gonna go.
Especially because like, Unfortunately, most humans are not in a spot where they can discern the truth.People are idiots and they don't even know that.They're so stupid they don't even know they're stupid.So you see a headline and it's not...
Does that sound like it could be true?It's, that must be true, it's on X. Everyone's an expert.I had a chiropractor on Instagram say definitively that the drink had PFAS in it.Fucking dumbass, fucking dumbass.And guess what?
Logan, I'm sorry, don't shoot the messenger.Shut the fuck up, stupid.Like bro, not even the experts, the smart people are able to tell what's true or not because no one's willing to do their research, myself included. Fuck!I'm one of them, bro!
And here's where I'll land.
I'm confused.I'm fucking confused.
What the hell is going on?What the hell is going on?What's true and where can I find out if it's true or not? Does an XX chromosome make you a female or not?Because that's what I was taught in school.
I was taught XX means you're a woman and XY means you're a man.I did four or five years of AP sciences, biology is what I was taught. So explain it to me, I wanna be educated.
Dude, I'm not one of those people who sticks my stake in the ground and like this, the hell I'm dying on.
I'm not, I'm not, I'm just not.And here I am bringing a daughter into the world thinking, oh my gosh. There's a chance she could work her whole life to become an Olympic sprinter.I think she's gonna be a sprinter.
Her legs move like this and she's super long.And here I see, you know, 20 years old going to the Olympics.She's competing for first place.And a biological male comes in and beats her.Dude, that would fucking break my heart.
I do not believe that is fair.And that is a value I will stay true to till I die.I don't believe that's fair.No, I agree with you. I woke up on Twitter that morning, everyone saying the same thing.
Biological male beats biological female in a boxing match.I'm like, Jesus Christ, physical violence.Not even the swim meet with Leah Thomas just crushing everybody.
Not even the biological male playing female volleyball, spiking the ball so hard she's paralyzing women from the neck down. Say safety fuck safety that now they're fighting.Holy shit.
Yeah, that's crazy You got it.That's why you got to come over here and sit on the fence with me, man No, my tweets are way different.No fence because I don't ever have to say my tweet was like this
A maybe woman man fought a woman and maybe was a too hard a hit, but who knows if this really happened, but if it did happen, maybe that wasn't so good of a thing to happen.And then when people are like, what's the deal with this tweet?
I'm like, I don't know, can you even read it?Who knows what it fucking says?
Dude, fence is chill, man.I don't like the fence.
I love it, dude.Because I'll tell you why.You deescalate situations.No, because if you don't stand for anything, you don't stand for nothing.I don't stand.Have you tried sitting?
It's so much better.It's so much better.
It's so much better.Why would I, bro, can I tell you why?I'll tell you why. How far has all of your one arm up in the air fucking attempts gotten you?
No, no, no, no, no, no.Family.You can, I'm not talking about that stuff.I'm not talking about lunch and an upsetting snack.
What are you talking about?
What do you mean how far has it gotten me?I'm doing great.
That's not the shit I'm talking about.What are you talking about?I'm talking about on these type of issues.On these type of issues.
Who gives a fuck?Social media is not real life. I'll say it again.
Bradley Martin said, wait a second.He'll lock in.
Wait a second. If there's a next time, it's going to be exponentially worse.
He said, he said, he said you came in at two 60 or two, at least two 50.
I said, what was the way, by the way I was, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, my guess was like two 10.
No, no.I have a picture of it was less than that.Yeah.
No, his, his, I think it was, I think I was like two or three, two or two.
I have a picture.His main thing, his main thing was, was leaning on it being a stamina situation on his part.Shut the fuck up.
You think it's going to get better for you?Stupid.What if he's, it's not a thing.
And by the way, by the way, excuse me, his demeanor towards the conversation was a little bit more professional.That's what happens when you get, no, excuse me.
That's what happens when your ego takes a hit.
Excuse me.You get humble.It was a little bit more of a professional conversation regarding tactics and stamina.There's no reason for these low blow insults.Tactics.He said, You had clearly been abusing drugs.He said, 285, he said you came in at 285.
You had a steel arm, a bionic arm like Jack's from Mortal Kombat.
Can I ask you one thing on that?Because he's right.In that regard, he's right.I do have a titanium rod in my hand.Was he able to tell?
No, I don't think so. He just said he was really tired, which which actually is true.He was tired.
All right.But stamina is more tired, tired.Mike, Mike, I'll let you say it.How long did that last?No, I get what you're saying.No, no answer.Sixty.I don't fucking know.What do you think?
Forty forty five to six.I'm not.I'm right.
Sixty seconds.That's what I would have said.G.S.
told me a tired black belt is a white belt.
He said stamina is very wise thing.Very wise thing to say.
Guess what?Guess what?Nobody gets tired in 60 seconds.You can do anything for 60 seconds if you're a bodybuilder like Bradley Martin.
The reason he got tired is because he was put in a stressful environment that he's not used to mentally or physically fighting.It's called an adrenaline dump.His adrenaline got dumped the first 15 seconds because he realized he's in over his head.
And he's fighting someone who's not going to get tired ever. And if I do, I won't.
I really just want to know why he was mad at me, because that's what I was stressed out about.Because remember, he was like, I told you I made the vlog out of it.Bro, it's a hit.
That's what he said.I asked Jorge.Jorge iterated it perfectly.He said. A, he really probably thought he was gonna beat me.And then if on the off chance he didn't think he was gonna beat me, he didn't think it was gonna be that easy, that bad.
Or that there would be content about it.
That's a pretty vulnerable position for a guy.Like bro, I could have killed him.If we're in the street, I'm gonna kill you motherfucker.Like your life is in the palm of my hand.And I didn't, but it'll fuck with you as a man.
It'll fuck with you and your ego.
See, that's the part that I don't get.And maybe it's because I'm not like a combat sports athlete, but the idea that I'm gonna step up
And this is what I tried to portray in the content, which is why I didn't understand his disappointment in it, was that if I'm gonna step up against a trained combat sports athlete and go for a while and then just get kind of like tapped out in the end, I'm gonna be like, bro, if you went and played basketball against LeBron tomorrow, right?
Not that you're LeBron of combat sports, if anything, you're like Spud Webb or fucking some fucking, some unaccomplished.He's laughing.Yeah.Do you know who that is?Yeah, Spud Webb.He's like five foot eight or something like that, man.
But I just mean like if you went and played against LeBron tomorrow and you got beat 21 to 2, or 21 to 0 even, would you be thinking to yourself, my God, I'm so offended.My ego took such a big hit.
You don't play fight.You don't play fighting.
No, but I get it, but it's still a sport at the end of the day.
It's not even remotely comparable, Mike.I'm talking about a situation where I could have killed him.
easily if you went up easily you went up and if you went up and fought mma tomorrow against john jones and he beat my ass and he beat which he would he beat the brakes off right you would be saying what the next day
I got in the ring with Jon Jones.
Bro, that's what I'm trying to say to you.That's the part I just don't understand about it.
Because he's not been humbled.That's one beautiful thing about fighting, which is why the art of pugilism is incredible.
It can make a man a much better version of himself if he's willing to take that humility and learn from it and get in the ring and do better.It's done wonders for me and my brother. We've both been humbled.
You show up one day and you have a hard sparring session and you have to sit on the edge of the ring like, hmm, I got some things to revisit.
But when you do, you get in there, you get in the gym, you revisit, and then you make a better version of yourself.You forge a better version of yourself with mental and physical fortitude.I don't know much about Brad's personal character, but
How fast he quit made me think she doesn't have that in him.Because I bet next time he'll quit equally as fast.
No, but stamina is the decider.
I can tell you as someone who does know Bradley very well, the mental perseverance is not something he struggles with.He's been through enough shit.Then why'd he quit that quick?
Bro, if you're fucking gonna die of not being able to breathe air, you have no choice.His body was not prepared for that.
He didn't even do anything, Mike. He got taken down and punched in the head.
Yeah, you said adrenaline dump.He probably tried to put a ton of energy into the choke.
It's not stamina is what I'm telling you.Stamina isn't the, it shouldn't be the excuse.The excuse should be, I am not a fighter.
Just say it.You're not a fight.It's not fair, Brad, which is why I did it because it's not me fighting you isn't fair. I told the boys exactly what was going to happen and it happened.
If you want to do it again, get some training in so the stamina, steroid excuse, stop.Go out the door.I wish he would have left it at what he should have.I fucking manned up.
I looked fear in the face and fist fought someone who knows how to do combat.And it could have been good there.
I don't know, but I think, but I think learn from it, but I think something about it, but now it's not, but he was on steroids and he was two 30.Shut the fuck up.
We've been talking about this too long.Hello?
Yeah.We got MGK on the line here.What was that?You're on the podcast.Yeah.
No, no.Jelly's on the way over here.Are you still here?
Well, I don't know where y'all at.I might go shopping instead.But where are you at?
He's in New York.I'll send you the address right now.All right.OK.All right.Let's go.Let's go.OK.I'm going to allow you to select one of these next topics.All right.Here we go.
I fired my baby nurse.I did have one.I did the rich people thing.Why? I realized the idea of someone else raising my child in any capacity is a fucking crazy thought.
Yeah, we'll get nannies out of pure necessity.
And I'm realizing that now everyone that has the ability to do it has a baby nurse.
And we tried, but I fired it within the first hour because she was just so bad.Mike, she was so bad.
Oh, well, that's different.
No, I don't know but no but worked for believe it worked for Worked for all these other people like, you know a resume that that we thought was alright and I get in I arrive To the house that we're staying at right now with with my child
exhausted from the hospital, you know, first night just learning how to be a dad.I sit on the couch, that's me on my chest, relaxing.I'm in my happy, happy place.Baby nurse comes over, by the way, barely know this woman.
Interviewed her a few times on the Zoom.
She comes over, she goes, OK, wake the baby up.He has to feed.She has to feed.I go aggressive.
Overbearing is the word.Helicopter baby nurse.30 red flags within 15 minutes.And so I took her aside and I said, Um, I have to just, I'm gonna be candid with you.Cause we're got to communicate.
You're a roommate now and also like you're our baby nurse.
Cause it sounds like something that would have happened at white Oak back in the day.Remember when we used to have to manage people?
Yes.And now it's, well, you did now I have to, Nina's like, can you handle it?I'm feeding my baby.I'm exhausted.I'm like, fuck, I gotta be, I was so bad.I go, I go, I have to be candid with you.
So right off the rip, you're coming across... Well, she made Nina cry because I left her alone with Nina and this woman was...
do this, do this, do this, do this.
And it was just, it was just too much.And Nina goes, she's like, it's just so hectic.She's so hectic.And I was like, you're coming across like pretty overbearing.
And I gave her some very candid feedback about her style and just like in general, she's way too loud.Just like trying to control everything.
And I, and, and, and afterwards when I realized I didn't see my information and my feedback being downloaded by her, I go, It's very important to me that I know that you are capable of downloading and receiving the feedback that I'm giving you."
And she starts laughing at me.Not at me, she just starts laughing, cackling.I go, uh, this isn't super funny.Like what, um, what are you laughing at?She goes, you are just so serious.I go,
Are you capable of implementing the notes that I'm giving you involving how to raise and deal with my child?
Was this what her face looked like?Yes.
Yes, Mike.She had no idea what I was incapable of understanding what I was saying. Didn't even know her name, by the way.Do you understand?After I fired her, we got our car, we got her out of there.She texted a thing, no hard feelings.
And by the way, I bookended it with something incredible.I was like, I don't want this to be awkward, like anything you need from us the rest of the night.Like literally tell us, you know, give me a hug.I'm sorry if I upset you.
I did.I said, I'm sorry if I upset you.She goes, anything I need?I go, yeah.She goes, can you sign six bottles of Prime?Actually, that's actually insane. I 100% made the right decision.Jesus, mother of God.
Yeah.My kids love it.Yeah.Grandkids.Sends a long text.No hard feelings.Anything you need.Baby Esma.So cute.Baby Esma.Esma.Didn't even know my daughter's name.
Well, maybe she wasn't sure if it was a daughter.So she was leaving the name open-ended, bro.
Two days later.Two days later, me and Nina sitting on the couch.She's in the closet.No.Text from her. Esme.
No, just one word.No way.
Because she realized two days after she'd been calling her the wrong name, even though it was written on the birth certificate on a welcome.
Maybe she thought she was texting Esme directly.
I think she realized she called our daughter the wrong name, and also probably why that relationship didn't work out.
All right, your choice.Costco guys, they bring the boom.
You can do Mudang, or you can do nitrogen gas execution in Alabama. I'll do the last one.Okay.What the hell?
Alabama executed a condemned man Thursday using nitrogen gas in only the second instant in the United States of the methods used, which drew criticism from some human rights groups.What'd he do? I don't have that here in my nose.Come on, Mike.
Come on.Okay, well, those questions are fair enough, dude.So, well, the question is important because what do you have to do to be killed in an exotic format?What's exotic?Nitrogen gas.How is that exotic?It seems exotic.Why?
It seems like they would say, do you want the nitrogen gas or would you prefer to be trampled by elephants? I feel like nitrogen gas is probably painless.No, that's what they say.But so like, OK, how how how does it work like this?
Let's let's find out.They're euthanizing people pretty.Process of death by nitrogen gas involves forcing the way they put this is terrible.Forcing an inmate to inhale 100 percent nitrogen gas.
Sentenced to death in 2000 for the 1999 killings of three men. Uh, in Alabama, it's death by nitrogen hypoxia.A controversial method.Critics say is tantamount to torture.Cool.
Sounds good to me.Fucking bring back the electric chair.If it's up to me, murderers, fuck them.Fuck them all.
Well, I don't think that's how it works.I don't, I don't think they're, uh, I don't think they're supposed to torture them.
Why not kill them?Make it, make it.I wonder how those three men's families felt probably tortured for the rest of their life as well. Fuck off, kill them.
Well, okay.Well, like we have the Geneva Convention as it pertains to war.Like what you're saying, I hear what you're saying, I get the sentiment, but governmental killing and just the sentencing of death in general is a complex topic.
I think so.Because let me ask you a question, because then you're giving the government or the prison system, the right to go truly eye for an eye with someone who did a really evil thing.
So, so, so I guess the question is like, does that start government to maintain that responsibility?That's a fair point.
Not even that, but like, not even that, but like, does it, does that then just make them as bad as. the person who did the deed?Do you know what I'm saying?
No, no.The issue and the conversation I will be here for is like putting that much power in the government's hands does scare me because they make mistakes and cannot be trusted as we know.
Well, they just had that big one last week with the guy that was Like it would be a shame to- The guy that there was evidence that he may or may not have actually committed the crime and they were asking for a stay.
That's what I'm saying.Like if you're wrong- I probably should have his name.Like if they're wrong, that's a damn shame.In a world where things always are so black and white, like in that regard, I totally see.
But if you're absolutely, if you're on video, someone- Or killing them, yeah.Like bro, put nitrogen gas up your fucking asshole.That's what I would do.
I think that's what they do.Sick.So he was,
The shaking and trembling was Miller's shook and trembled on the gurney for about two minutes with his body at times being pulled against restraints, which had to report the shaking and trembling was followed by about six minutes of periodic gulping breaths.
Sounds pretty fucking gruesome.
No, but what I'm just saying is, like, to your point, one is like, is like, what if the wrong type shit?It's like it's like it comes down to the same thing when we waterboarded terrorists. Now that's- Fuck them, what do you mean?Waterboard them more.
But okay, I'm clearly not the person to be speaking on behalf of terrorists right now, okay?We need rights!Give us our terrorist rights!
Well, because I was kind of with that too, because I was on the East Coast during 9-11 and saw that shit all unfold.So I was like, okay, fuck it, pour some water on these dudes, bro.You know what I'm saying?Pour some fucking water on their heads.
I don't think anything.I'm just simply, I'm just simply reporting for them.No, I'm simply reporting for the people who have had problem with.This is a very good conversation.
It's, I'm not saying that we should have much more of it today, but it is, it's an interesting conversation because what are you willing to do to the people who, who make it their life's goal to harm the people of your country?
And by the way, that goes for domestic murderers and terrorists.Like where does that, and what we have done as a country has always been.
walked the line, super gray area shit because the Geneva Convention provided a set of laws and standards for how government should conduct themselves during warfare times.Incendiary devices were outlawed.
You can't fire bomb a fucking town because it's gonna have incredible amounts of collateral damage because fire is not, it doesn't choose what it's gonna burn, it just burns, right?So all of that stuff happened and now you still see it now where
There are actually laws from the Geneva Convention that dictate what the allowable amount of collateral civilian death is by way of what target was supposed.
Okay, so if you're trying to bomb an office building because there's one senior leader in it, there's only X amount of people that you can kill as a result of that.
But if you're going to bomb a weapons depot, which has the ability to take out entire fucking countries, the allowable human collateral damage as a result of that bombing is actually a much larger number.So it's crazy.
At a macro level, what we're talking about right now is That is the discussion and debate around value of human life.
And when that value changes based on the deeds of a person who has done something wrong, it's it's I'm not saying anything right or wrong.Cause I'm going to sit on the fence as always, but it's a, it's a strange conversation to have.
It is extremely strange. If it were possible, ideally, I think the punishment should sort of match the crime.Like, how much suffering did this guy cause the three people he murdered?He probably shot them.
So is it fair then that they died, what, instantly?Minutes?I don't know.And then it took him six minutes to die.So I don't know.
live for two minutes after he shot him, and there's a total of six minutes of them dying, then yeah, I think six minutes of choking on nitrogen gas is like burning it up.
But why don't they just shoot him?
Well, because maybe the suffering that he caused those three men and the harm that their families will endure for the rest of their life is not equivalent to an easy death by way of shooting.
What if they were not good dudes? What if they were gang members?
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.That's why I don't know what they were.They could have been fucking.They could have been baby nurses.
So what you're describing is like baby nurses, male.So look, if this guy was on some vigilante shit and killing people and then he got killed, you know, I don't know. Yeah, like how long would you waterboard Batman for?
So I don't have- Answer that, smart ass.
Would you firebomb Spider-Man's village because he accidentally hurt an old woman who was buying groceries while he was fighting against fucking Dr. Octagon?What's that guy's name?Dr. Ock.Dr. Ock, dude.Dude, imagine a woman, right?
Like, okay, you have like Gertrude, we'll call her.She's crossing the street with her cart filled with lemons, oranges, and like kale, right? Spider-Man's chasing Dr. Ock, knocks Gertrude over, she hits her head on an NYC fire hydrant and dies.
So now they put Spider-Man up on trial, right?It's being reported about on X. Spider-Man hates Jews, here's the proof, like the whole thing.You know what I'm saying?So that all happens.
What's the retribution for Spider-Man for this accidental killing of Gertrude who's just trying to bring groceries home to watch Price is Right? Do you know what I'm saying?
There are no nuances.You're right.You're absolutely right.They're all incredibly nuanced.I'm sure there's information about this particular killing that this condemned man... That I just don't have because I didn't prepare for it.
Well, the context when you talk about euthanasia... is very important.We should have gone with Moodang.
We 100% should have gone with Moodang.What is the deal with that little hippo?He's a little fucker, bro.He's the cutest thing ever.What's he doing?He runs around, bites people's knees.Bro, he is the greatest.
Dude, I always knew there was something with hippos.
They're so great.Until they get really big, Mike.They get huge.They can really cause real damage.You know how many people die by hippo? Per year?
It's a pretty high number, isn't it?
Yeah, higher than you think.I'll use my chat GPT voice box.How many people die by hippo every year?
Hippos are surprisingly dangerous animals.While the exact number varies, it's estimated that hippos kill around 500 people each year.
That's a lot of people.They're basically terrorists.And while Mudane might look cute now, that motherfucker Could be very dangerous.
We got a waterboard mudang.We got a waterboard mudang and find out what he knows about these fucking terrorists.Yo, Izzy, no, no, I love them though.
All animals are so cute when they're little, like, especially the animals that get big when they're not yet killing 500 people, like little elephants.
I think jelly rolls here, by the way, just, just so you know, we got, we got to wrap this up.I know, but I do want to say this.Congratulations on the, on the kid.Thank you.I'm very excited to meet her.
Um, and, and also just throwing this out there, dude, audience, you feel free if you're still there, by the way, God bless you.It has been a while, but I think we're coming up on. November something will be six years since we started the show.Wow.
If you're still watching this from sex therapist, we love you.You're fucking incredible, but please comment below.If we don't have another guest, we didn't do this just because we had content.I'll get content, bro.
We could have done this terrorist conversation for another hour.You are my guy.Don't fucking, I'm telling you, you and I can do these episodes.I'll come to P wherever.Yeah. Let's just get content out, bro.I'm telling you.This was fun.
Hey, you're right.I had fun this episode.I had a lot.Dude, that was awesome.That was fun.That was fun.I'm going to give you equity in Lunchly.
A very small amount, but yes.
You just saved that for the end of the episode?
Let me reiterate.It's a very small amount.
No, that's fine.What?A little bit.A little bit. This is honestly the first, thank you.This is the first time I'm hearing about that.I mean, you know.Should I try it first?Or are those not ready?Cause you gave me equity in the perishable product.
No, no, no, no.They're ready.Were they cold?They were cold for my fridge.Wait, wait, are you sure?
A hundred percent.Cause this is what is made after the Lunchables product.And that's what I care about.
Really?Yeah.I love this one. I eat this one as a snack about that.Wow.All right.
I have no equity in that.
Oh, my God.I'm so fucking excited.Go.They go dig in.Dig in.Also, when you make your turkey cheese and crackers stack, can you just hold can you hold it up and Caleb zoom in?I just want to show everyone what everyone's so mad about. Fuck off.
I hope if you're looking at this product right now that you aren't deeply offended by it.Look at the ridges on that cracker.Look at the way that that turkey is sitting on top of that cracker.Look at the yellowness of that cheese.
Does that make you want to hurt someone?Does that make you want to tweet about how evil snacks are?Our competitors can't say the same.Oh no.There's a new snack on the market.I think I'll go bitch about it on fucking X. Does this upset you?
Is this not healthy enough for you?
Have you tried air?Have you tried eating air?Stop, stop, stop, stop.Wait, before you wait, I don't want to wage war.I want to listen to the feedback and I want to, I want to provide.Okay.Here's the feedback.We don't like Logan Paul.
How does that affect your snack, buddy?We make, we make something that, that makes them happy.Cheers.
Come on, bro.What does he say after he does that?
That's Riz approved.I'm not saying that shit.I will give it one thing, though.A big boom.
Thanks for watching.Hit that subscribe button.It's fire, right?It's so good.It's good.Good little snack.We'll see you next time.Fucking peace.
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