You, you, you people!You're back! You people are back for your host, Luke Allen at Uncle Luke 2 on Instagram, live from the 405 podcast on Instagram.You held out for me.I thank you very much.I had a rough couple of days.I was, uh, sick.
I got a sinus infection as usual when it starts getting real windy out here and the wind kicks up.It's been very windy.
All the crap starts blowing around and gets into my infected sinus cavity and then causes a whole head cold and infection and everything else.
And usually this is the second time this year this happened and it lasts about a week and usually for a couple days it gets nasty and then either one or two things happens It disseminates down into the rest of my body.
It gets down into my lungs and into my bones and in my penis and in the whole rest of my body and I get really sick and then I get a cough and then I have a cold for about a good solid month or It just goes away.
And it seems like today, Friday, November 8th, it just went away.I got lucky, but that's the second time this year.It was last time when there was a windstorm that kicked up, and it did the same thing.
And I'm telling you, I still credit, I started damn near a year ago, I started taking vitamin C, vitamins, vitamin supplement to help my immune, my Freddie Mercury immune system. I haven't had a full-blown... I was so excited thinking about it.
I was like, please don't let me get a cold, because this is the longest I've gone without getting an actual cold cold.It's been 11 months.I started taking that thing in January of last year, and that was the last time I was sick or had a cold.
So if this has indeed expurgated my body, I will still be holding on.I will chalk it up to a... I just took some DayQuil and some nasal decongestant and things.
And it's funny, I swore I wouldn't talk about it again, but one more note about the, one of the more interesting details of the Godfather book was how bad Michael's face is fucked up after the cops grab him, take him up, take all of them.
And McCluskey punches Michael in the face, you know, when the cops hold his arm.That fucked Michael's face up.And like, that was like a real touch,
of uh it was a significant touch of realism in the book because you wouldn't think you know you see in the movie people get punched in the face all the time but like to get i mean he's a big dude in the book he was a big he was a big uh a big burly roughhousing dude so he really knew how to punch people there mccleskey and to just hit you when you're prone like that it just like cave michael's whole face in so when uh
After he kills McCluskey, which wasn't that long later, a couple weeks later or something, I forget.And then Michael gets sent to hide out in Italy afterwards.The whole time he's in Italy, his face is like, the bones didn't, he's set right.
So the side of his face was crooked.So everybody said, like, oh, you look like a real mafia hood now, because you've got a fucked up face.But it messed up his sinus cavity and stuff.
And now the whole rest of the book, it's like he has this thing where his nose won't stop running.And he gets headaches and shit real bad. Really fucks it up, and this all goes back to, speaking of which, here's how the luxor gets related.
Here's how I can relate to the novel, The Godfather, by Mario Puzo.I got kicked in the face in a mosh pit in 2002 and got my nose severely broken.And they broke it back into place, but they told me it might take a few procedures to set it right.
So they did the first one, and it was horrible, and I was absolutely terrified of doctors, and I did not want to go back.So my nose never healed right. And I've had nasal problem.
I really hope it was worth it to get kicked in the face during I want to say it was during cave-in during my favorite to this day and I you say Luke was it worth it?I mean, I would rather not have had it happened.
But no, I that's my I just listen to it again.I Last week at the gym, Until Your Heart Stops by Cave In, one of the heaviest, greatest albums.It's still as heavy as the fucking day I heard it.Tough as balls.
And Cave In had took a couple years off from playing.They got a little emo there for a bit.They started to mellow out and they hadn't played any songs off there in a couple years.
And they said, we're going to play a bunch of fucking... That's how long I've been fucking seeing that band and watching those songs for like 20 fucking... Almost 25 years.You know, I saw him, what, two years ago?
And I went to that show and they played the whole album here in LA.And it caved in this whole... It created this pocket in my face.
They didn't know until they were doing MRIs for something else that they said, yeah, you've got this like pocket of busted... It's going to cause all kinds of... It is causing all kinds of problems in your face.That's why my nose runs constantly.
Anyways, When you take blunt force trauma to the face, you don't think about the long enduring consequences of that and how it messes all kinds of things up.So that's what I get now.
A little bit of wind blows around and I sniff it and my entire fucking face implodes and I have a horrific sinus headache and I'm sick and I can't do the show.
And it's days late after one of the most historical political events of our entire lifetime of the century so far.
And the day I'm getting sick, my fucking boss, he's like, if you want to make a few hundred extra bucks, I'm shooting a thing tonight at a guy's house in Burbank.Now I'm here at Studio D where the equipment is.
I have to drive it from here to Burbank, which is way on the other side of town.It took me 90 minutes to get there at five o'clock.We set up, we shoot in the guy's house, in his living room, and then outside in his backyard.
And on that day, what was that, Tuesday? No, that was Wednesday.I woke up Wednesday feeling like shit.Like, I had had sinus stuff going on for like days, but it was mostly just, you know, it wasn't in my body at all.I felt fine.
And then I woke up that day feeling like shit.It was brutal at work.And by like three o'clock, I'm like, oh my, I'm fucking beat up.I am in terrible shape and I have a fucking ton of work ahead of me.All for the rest of the night.
I won't be getting home till probably about one o'clock in the morning.So I had to load the entire truck full. full of gear, way more gear than anyone would need to shoot this thing, but not, not the guy I worked for.Oh no, he takes it all.
So I had a massive truck of stuff.I took it there.I had to help unload it.I had to help them set up.I had to sit there for like five or six hours while they shot this thing at the guy's house and then.
Pack it all back up in the fucking truck and drive it back over here.And I'm like, Oh my Just by, I'm driving it there and I'm just like, you know, like when a cold just set, it had made landfall and my head was like, just like pulsating.
I just, I felt like, I never wanted to just go home and just eat some soup and lay in bed in my fucking life.I was like, of all the fucking days for this to happen.So I had to, I had to muscle through it.And we went to this guy's house.
I don't know if I should say who it is. I'm so fucking paranoid now, especially with this job involving things, this place and this show.If you know my past, I'm flapping my gums.I'll say he's a comedy.
He's a gentleman of the comedy genre and he has a show and I think they're trying to get this show revived.We may or may not have shot the last four or five seasons.
I like the show and I like the guy and I never really met him, met him, but there I was in his house hanging out with him.Very nice guy.And so they're shooting this thing and this guy had such a fucking, he had such a perfect house.
It was over in Burbank off Cahuenga off the 134 when you're heading down towards Magnolia Boulevard, if you make it, it's over in that neighborhood.And they're nice, upper-middle class houses.And it was just like, I'm like, what a perfect house.
And then in his yard, he had like this grotto.He had a nice big patio, and then he had a hot tub on the patio, and then off in his yard, he had a really good size in-ground pool.
And his yard was so, you know what it reminded me of fucking, this just dawned on me now, because I knew it looked familiar.It looks like Bill's yard in Kill Bill, which he kills, Spoiler alert!
When she kills Kill Bill at his house, it was like boxed in by these big, tall, exotic palm trees and bushes.You couldn't see anything.It was like Costa Rica, and it was just like a jungle on the center of the city.
But he's in the middle of a dense, crowded neighborhood.It was just all uplit.I was like, what a fucking great... From doing cop... Well, it turned out this guy was an improv dude who was in Second City.So I'm like, fuck him and fuck improv people!
And they had some improv people there, and boy, were they not funny.It's like just sitting there like, I felt like shit.I was tired.I was underpaid for the amount of work I was going to do on this job.
And I'm just sitting there listening to these unfunny people.And I'm like, all my friends.I don't mean to sound like a douche, but this is true.Like all my friends are funnier and more talented than everything that's going on in this room.
And they're all toiling in obscurity.I could pluck one of three friends right now and take this guy out of the scene and put them in and they would fucking crush.And the whole camera crew would be legitimately laughing.
Not fake, you know, improv people laughing to support because that's what they do.Because all the other people, all the agency, quote unquote, people that were there watching it on the monitor.
We're like snickering from this guy's attempts at humor, and I'm just like, I hate this, and I hate sitting on, it is now, I moved out here to do this, and 20 years later, I find myself going, unless it's like a big set with a bunch of movie stars, which I haven't been on in a long time, and I miss, but like, if it's something like this, I fucking hate being on other people's sets, because it just makes me want to be on my own set.
Like, I wish this was my set.I wish I was shooting a thing like this right now with everybody, and like, and I want to, and I want to make things fucking,
It's happened, but it's like, I don't know, I'm old, I don't know if I should stay here, I don't know what to do.Richard Lewis, I just have a hole, and I just sit there, and I just seethe.
I'm like, I can make something better than this, and my bucket friends are funnier bucket better than this, and they're not, they're working day jobs, and they shouldn't be. Anyway, he was very nice, and his house was very nice.So then they move out.
I'm not in bad enough shape, right?I mean, is there anything worse than when you're stuck at work?Especially when there's a relative modicum of physical labor involved, and I'm just like... Like, I just want to go home and get in bed.
And then they move outside for this hot tub, and it was fucking freezing.It was so cold out.It dropped to like 58.It was warm in the day.It was like 75 or 80, you know, in the Beloved Valley.And then it dropped to like 57 degrees.
Everyone was out there just shaking.Everyone had like three layers of fucking clothes on and stuff.It was ridiculous. But anyways, that was that.So I woke up, that was Wednesday, and then, oh God, get this, get this, get this.
When you're out there, I have to fill the whole truck with a fuck ton of gear, a fucking ton of, a giant sprinter van with a full fucking floor load and a half of stuff. You don't need this much stuff.
You don't need this much stuff to shoot a guy sitting on a fucking couch.But my boss does.My boss does.So I drive it all the way.I am deliriously, fucking deliriously tired.I close up.I got to ride my motorcycle.I'm sick.Do you understand?
I have a sickness. and I have to ride my motorcycle home in the fucking cold.I never wanted to fucking not ride home.I had half of mine to sleep here.I still gotta go home and take a shower.I'm like, I got tomorrow off.
I feel like I'm just gonna fucking recoup all day.I'm gonna sleep in.
It's gonna be wonderful, and I get all the way fucking home, I'm pretty snot, just like, just pouring out, and like, you know, you ever watch, like, you're in an airplane, and you go through a cloud, and you watch the streak, the droplets of water streak across the airplane window?
That was my snot was doing it across my fucking face.Just driving at 80 miles an hour to LA, my body exposed to the cold.
and I finally get home, I'm like, oh my God, I don't even want, I wish I could get a sponge bath, I don't even want to get to my shower, but I'm gonna have to shower, I'm filthy, I'm sweaty, and I sit down to take my shoes off, and I feel the poke, the poke of something in my back pocket, and I, what on earth am I sitting on?
What was I sitting on?I took the fucking key for the van, the truck, the camera truck with all the stuff on it, I took the key home with me, and the truck is parked inside the shop, but the door's locked.
So they can't get all the stuff out of it in the morning without the fucking key to open the fucking... I wanted to cry.I swore I wanted to cry.And I sat there for like five minutes. Any other time, I would have just sucked it up and drove it back.
I am very much a, unlike 99% of the population, I'm very much a, I take responsibility for my own actions and my own fuck-ups, and I don't, and I take care of it.And most of the time, I unload the truck.
If I would have unloaded the truck, none of this would have happened.I almost always, no one else does.No one else here does, but I almost always unload the fucking truck for the next guy the next day.
I don't know, I don't know why, because they sure don't give a, Fuck about me or Alphaneta, but I was so tired and sick, I did it.I even wrote him a whole note.I'm like, I'm sorry.There's like snot driplets on the fucking paper.
The fucking ink was smearing.I'm like, I'm sorry, I don't know, the chalk, I had to rap out in the dark.And I'm like, I don't know what to do.I don't know if I should Uber this.I'm collecting my thoughts, and I realize my only other option is,
Of the four people that work here, one other person lives in the valley, not too far from me.So now I have to get up at 7.30 in the morning and get a hold of her and see if she can stop by or I can meet her to give her the fucking key.
So I get a hold of her and I have to meet her at 8.30 at the gas station a couple miles away and drop the fucking key off.Gets better.It gets better.It gets better.It gets better. I go home, finally.Now it's like, you know, I don't know.
Are you like this?Like, you wake up.I used to not be like this.It's somewhere along the way I changed.It's really hard for me to go back to sleep when I wake up.And I am sick, delirious.I had no sleep.
I tossed and turned all night worrying about the key.I don't know why.I mean, worst, worst case, I could have just drove it here in morning fucking traffic on my bike, rode the fucking key all the way back here.
But I'm going to gamble and see if I can get it to her.So I do.And I get back and I'm like, all right.And I start falling asleep.And right on fucking cue, just like the cats from last episode, from the fucking, at the girl's apartment, this fucking.
Pounding insane like Tom Hanks in the money pit level construction Going on in the apartment upstairs and it starts at like 9 to 59 a.m Just non-stop banging and hammering and drilling and fucking
It sounded like half a wrestling match was happening.I just laid there laughing like a fucking madman, just sitting there.It went on for like an hour and a half, so I couldn't really fall back asleep.So I was fucked yesterday.
You should have heard my voice.It's really dissipated today.I'm on minute number 15 about telling you about my sickness.
I really was going to try and I'm like, I don't want to drag my balls through it because I want to, I want to want to do the show.I don't want to, you know what I mean?
I don't want to do a fucking half-ass, not, uh, not, um, with all my heart in it type of show.Cause a lot happened this week.Wow.A lot happened this week.
I now have a third day of my life of, well, maybe I have more, but definitely three as far as large events go.Where was I when I heard about 9-11?I was in my room getting up for college.
I woke up and turned on Howard Stern and they were talking about a plane hit the World Trade Center.I'm like, what the fuck?And then I turned the news on.I still not, I remember what my room looked like and everything.I remember fucking exactly.
I remember where I was the night of COVID with Vinny. at the comedy store that last night when there was, again, another insane windstorm that probably got me sick.And I remember exactly where I was when I found out.
that Donald Trump won for only the second time in all of American history, a non-consecutive second fucking term as president.
I was, it was super, I mean, I'm not complaining that we have, Luke, Luke, aren't you down to four days because you're so, yes, and now all of a sudden it's fucking balls to the wall busy again right now.
And I'm trying to watch the fucking, and I was the only one in here because everyone has to, we have a rotating day off.Everyone has to take a day off.So this was the day I was in here by myself fuck-ass ton of work to do.
And, you know, I had to like bust ass.So I couldn't really sit and watch my phone and watch what was going on and watch the races and everything like that.So it was kind of driving me crazy.
And then by the time we got done, it was like, I don't know, like seven.
And I was so wired from the work and from the fucking stress of watching this goddamn race that was already like pretty, it was looking good by that point, seven o'clock West Coast time. I said, I'm going to fucking work out.I'm doing arms.
I don't care how late it is.I don't care.Which turned out to be even worse because that night I did arms and it was the election and I couldn't sleep.I didn't fall asleep till probably one in the morning.
I had dreams all night and then the next day I had to go into work and then I was sick and then I had to do the whole thing.It was the perfect fucking storm of shit for the Lucifer, for your poor beleaguered host.
And I went in the gym and I fucking locked my phone in my fucking locker in the gym.Because I said, if I bring the fucking phone down there, I am not going to stop.There's no way I'm going to get through this fucking arms workout.
I got to work tomorrow.It's already fucking super late.I'm kind of not feeling good and probably shouldn't push it.But I'm going to do it anyway because I'm a fucking man.And I needed that stress relief.So I did.I locked it up.
I worked out for probably fucking two hours and some change. And I come back in and it's, holy shit, it's looking like he's going to tie this thing up.I was like, oh my God, this is not like what I fucking expected at all.This is crazy.
And I got on my Harley and I put my headphones in and I was listening to the Daily Wire's live coverage of the election on YouTube, listening to it. and I'm fucking riding home and I got my headphones in my ear.
I love riding home at night when there's no traffic and I can listen to a fucking podcast on my motorcycle.I don't know, it's like reading or watching a movie on a plane.
You're just more dialed in and there's nothing else to think about or distracted with.
And I heard the moment where they fucking announced, all the guys on the Daily Wire sitting there, and they announced live that moment, that it was decided that Trump won and is the fucking 47th fucking president.
I was on the 10 freeway, and I started fucking, I screamed in my fucking helmet, I started fucking fist pumping in the air, I was like, oh, I heard it happen live, it was so fucking, I'm so fucking glad I caught that.
I could not fucking believe it, so. I was elated.Again, I'm fucking exhausted and shit.I had a long day.I wasn't feeling good or anything, but I pushed through.So I said to stop at the fucking gas station there.
Now it's like 10 o'clock at night by my house, so I can get some...
protein bars and shit for the morning, and I just had so many thoughts and so much stuff, so I'm sitting there at fucking 9,000 fucking, and everybody fucking texting and talking, right?
And I'm sitting outside the gas station there at the Shell station at Magnolia and Van Nuys Boulevard for probably like 10 minutes, and I'm like, I shouldn't be doing this, I need to go.
It was like the worst fucking day for this to happen, or at least the worst circumstances for me for this, because I couldn't really pay attention and watch it.I mean, obviously, this is a fucking...
Been waiting quite a long time for this possibility.And people were fucking honking and screaming and singing.I have never seen, I haven't seen anything like this since I was in Hollywood the night Obama first got elected in 08.
And I was at, I was at Road Dogg and his, well, ex-wife now, at the fucking, at Portner's drinking.That's where I ran into Bill Burr.And that was the first time I ever met Bill Burr in person.
And he fucking bought me a drink and we talked for like 10 minutes. And I was hammered.And people were running down Hollywood Boulevard screaming.People were running like you could hear people yelling outside.
It was like... It was... I'll tell you this.This might sound silly in comparison, but it's kind of true.It's got to be as close as it comes for us of what it must feel like when a war ends.
Like when World War II ended, it was that level of fucking relief and complete... joy, just utter like, and shock, just complete fucking shock. There was so much writing on this election.
This is one of the most honest... I beat myself up for a lot of things.I don't think I'm any kind of fucking genius, but I'm a big fan of history stuff, so I really pay attention.
I'm constantly, even armchair level, but still study history and stuff like that.I think I know a little bit.This has got to be in the top five or six elections.It's up there with George Washington and Lincoln and John F. Kennedy and... Who else?
I don't know.I was just thinking this the other day.I should have wrote them all down, but it was quite significant.I had no hope.I thought we were done.I thought we were completely... I am a cynic at heart.
I really thought we had lost the country and the culture and everything else.I mean, this has been going on.They have established an ideological beachhead in this country, the left, that has permeated
Every fucking crevice crevasse of our society up and down.And then it was, it was building from, I'd say around 2012 or so around Obama's second term.And then really hyper, um, hyper, uh, went into hyper speed, uh,
2016, when Trump first got elected, and then in 2020, that was fucking it.In the last four years, it was like watching the fucking Titanic sink.I'm like, they have ideologically captured everything, everyone, the overwhelming amount of the culture.
They own the fucking media, and academia, and fucking government, and popular culture, and every single thing else was just 100% I thought that was it.It was a fucking cancer that had to be cut out.
It was a malignant tumor that was destroying the body of the country.One day in one successful operation.
It was taken out and it was like one of the only times in my life I could genuinely think that the good guy, like out of a movie, the good guys won.The good guys won.The lead vampire was killed and all the other vampires died.
The sun came up for the first time and like, Eight years or whatever the fuck it was around Dragon's Castle.A whole flock of doves landed in the fucking tree.We got our Michael Clayton ending.
Just the most satisfying, holy shit, I can't believe the total sweeping changes of just... of just everything that happened.
It really is... The first fucking thought I had when I heard those guys announce it, I said, I am so fucking happy to be alive.I'm so happy I lived to see this.Like, what a fucking profound moment in American history.
Honestly, it's like... In my whole life, I can think of, like, 9-11 and... Again, 9-11 and COVID, maybe.I don't know.This almost eclipses...
To me, I don't know how politically astute you are, I don't know how close of attention you pay to these things, but if you really do, even if you don't really like the guy that much, in comparison to the fucking tyrannical, authoritarian,
far left Marxist fucking regime that had its fucking clutches around the throat of this fucking country for four long years and really appeared to be into the foreseeable future and possibly forever because it's happened before plenty of times in plenty of fucking places.
It's not new.That's what scared me so much and that's what had me so convinced Because we were going right down that fucking path.And I was like, everyone's too dumb.No one's paying attention.
Everyone's, again, just every, just the greatest propaganda machine in fucking human history was in full fucking drive under the fucking left and under Democrats and just brain, just fucking invasion of the body statures.
Every fucking person woke up with a fucking pod in their room and a dumb sheepish, well, that's not what sheepish means. sheep-like clone following whatever they said.And I said, we're done.And they pulled it off.This fucking country, I was wrong.
I was wrong with everything.I was so sure they were gonna, I was so sure they were gonna pull something, some kind of shenanigans.I was 99% sure that there was gonna be some fake grid attack on the fucking,
some malware attack or whatever the fuck you call it to bring down the whole you know what I mean the whole electrical grid and they'll go oh it was Russia or it was China or something like that and magically all the voting which I was so sure that was going to happen I was shocked it didn't I was shocked there was no there was no riots there was no nothing it was it turned this is the this is the cleanest election we've had in uh
I don't know.Well, at least 10 years.What was the Obama?I think Obama won pretty handily, but there was no contested election.It's been at least 10 years.There's been no contested election results.Nothing.
Just everything got handed over and everybody went, well, it was too big to steal.That's what it fucking turned out to be.It was, um, it was too, I had lost total faith in the fucking country and everything.And they fucking pulled it off.
Everyone came out. just fucking shock, a revolution.You don't often see a peaceful, this is a complete political reordering of this fucking country.
Within like three days, I was just listening to a whole bunch of, and looking at the news and listening to pundits and things today, and how quickly people are immediately following it.Things are, it's not even in office yet.
I understand if he has a brusque personality and you don't personally like the guy, I understand.But sometimes in life, there's things a little bit bigger than that.I don't worship the guy.
I find him to be kind of a dullard and things like that, but I don't need that.I don't need a guy to be my buddy.I need a good fucking leader.And this guy has leadership qualities, Kamal Harris. Certainly doesn't.
She's got follower... She's got follower... She has no qualities whatsoever.I can't even... I can't even imagine the alternate fucking time.I can't imagine.It probably would have ended in fucking World War III.If she won, I was going to leave.
I was going to be out of here by January 1st.If I'm going to fucking die or get blown up or there's going to be some kind of fucking... At least with my fucking mom.
Or in Florida, I'm with a state with a capable fucking leader that can at least handle... things locally.Honestly, God, that was going to be it.I was 100% going to go, but I don't know.It was one of the great days, one of the best weeks of my life.
I've never felt like that.It felt like I felt like Marty McFly waking up in Back to the Future 2 and realizing that he and Doc Brown had saved them from the dark evil Biff alternate 1985.
In one fucking day, the entire stock market went through the fucking roof. world leaders all over the place are immediately already second-guessing and going back on all their fucking far-left radical bullshit.
Zelensky, Ukraine immediately were like, all right, I think we're gonna wrap this up.Hamas was like, all right, I think we're gonna wrap this up.I think we're done with the fucking. the whole thing.
I know he's an evil fascist and everyone's going to be thrown in concentration camps and everything, but whether you like it or not, they don't like it.The left doesn't like it.They don't like things to go well.
They don't like us to be strong on the world stage.They don't like America to be to be better than everywhere else on the planet, which we have been a myriad of times in our history.They hate, they want you miserable.
They do, because that's how they control you.They want you afraid and miserable and broken.
And one of the great quotes of our lifetime, I don't know if you saw this, but the night of the election, and I think everyone realized that this fear-mongering, divisive, horrible, absolutely fucking horrible for our country.
The legacy media, which is at this point pretty much Pravda, it is state-run media on the left, no longer has this fucking sway over people.And the numbers, people fucking came out and repudiated this crap.
Finally, everyone fucking woke up and went out there.And Elon Musk tweeted, you are the media now.Because no one was even watching it.People were all on X, they were following,
YouTube, all these like citizen journalists got more view and Joe Rogan, the influence Joe Rogan and shit, his fucking show has, is like, that fucking day, that was yesterday.CNN and all, and fucking Fox.Fox is the one that started this.
All these fucking legacy media things were all, they were leftist. They were left leaning, but they were not overtly leftist when they became very obviously nothing more than a propaganda wing for the fucking Democrats.
But Fox is the one that went all in hard right and made no bones about being super pro right.And then they were doing very well.So all the other stations went, well, we're just going to amplify our fucking messaging to our audience.
And then it turned into this complete war of just shit and propaganda and divisiveness. I just, their fucking time is up.It is a new day.It's a new era. It saved the planet.Do you understand this?
Do you know how fucking close we were to World War III?Do you think Kamala Harris had any interest in stopping any of these wars?The Ukraine war, the Israel-Palestine war, China and Taiwan.
Do you think she had the balls, the brains, or even the fucking wherewithal to make those things stop?They profit off those.They want that to happen.They want us to be completely fucking weak internationally.
Just the whole fucking, and then on the same fucking, they ran such a good campaign, such a better campaign this time.It was so much more disciplined.It was just the complete opposite of 2020.
They did everything fucking right, everything you wish, and screamed, why aren't you doing this in 2020?They did this time, it was so much better.
I know he's a shitty debater and a shitty candidate, but other than that, the fucking garbage truck, when they called him garbage, and then the next day he pulled up Trump in that fucking garbage truck, that was fucking genius.
I was like, God, that was so smart, because they made fun of him. You know what I mean?They didn't get all huffy-puffy.They just made a joke out of it, because that's what they are.That's what the left is.They're a fucking joke.
All their lies and all their nonsense is all... It's laughable, and that's what he did.It's me in a garbage truck.They said I was garbage.I'm here with this beautiful garbage truck driver.
There's a whole fucking... It was just... And you felt the momentum this time and last time.In 2020, I just... I didn't... I didn't feel it.I was so sure they were going to fucking cheat.
They tried to, but people just came out in such fucking huge... Thank God, the American people.Thank fucking God.Really, divine intervention.
I just had a feeling when that fucking bullet missed that guy by one-sixteenth of an inch and he lived, I'm like, I feel like there's a greater... All through fucking history.I've been saying that for years on this show.
I love contemporary American history so much. Everywhere all over the place in America the right person was there just at the right fucking time so So perfectly, it almost couldn't be a coincidence.There's got to be a greater hand in this.
This fucking country is still going.There's so many pivotal moments that that perfect fucking guy just happened to be there at that fucking time.And there was, I mean, we were going down the fucking tube so bad.
And finally, it's all just, back to the future.You wake up the next day, it's all over.It's like, oh no, it was basically, it was all a dream.I used to read Word Up magazine, like the whole fucking, you know. Just incredible.
If you're upset, everything's gonna be okay, I promise.
I know you don't like it when America is fucking strong and healthy and unified and has fucking traditional values and everything else that makes us a fucking strong country and the fucking greatest human experiments in governance in human history.
I know that upsets people and they don't like it.They want everyone at each other's throats and everything fucked up in a giant, they want the whole country to be a dystopian nightmare like fucking Californians. No more, buddy.It's all over.
I'm so glad, whether you like it or not, I'm so glad we all fucking saw this, that everyone lived to see this, and that we're gonna, just the greatest, it's gonna be the greatest fucking turnaround in this country, and it's a great depression.
I just, I can't even, in 48 or what, 56 hours, it's already coming together immediately.It's like the clouds have parted, everyone's like, fuck, we can get back to fucking normalcy again, and economic healthiness, and everything else, and a fucking,
legitimate presence on the world stage and we can repudiate all the fucking World Economic Forum shit and the total fucking, the looming end of the Christian West.
That's what we were teetering on the brink of a new horrible historical area and I think it's all gonna get fucking turned around.We haven't been in a position, this feels, I'm almost done, this is like,
What Kennedy's second term would have and could have been, I don't think we've been in a position like this since Kennedy could have gotten elected before somebody fucking blew his head off.
The world peace and prosperity and collaboration that was gonna come in under that fucking guy, we have not been in that position since then, I personally don't think.
If you listen to Kennedy's, that last speech he made at that, what's that, was it at Boston University?He did an amazing speech about all how he wanted to have fucking peace.He didn't want to go into Vietnam.
He wanted to usher in a new era of partnership with all these other fucking countries and a detente of tensions and everything.I listen to it and I get fucking tears in my eyes because it's so, the history and the great,
era that we were robbed of because a bunch of people got together and decided, our own people, the fucking CIA and whoever else got together and blew his fucking head off.And I feel like now is like a new, we're going to see some shit.
This is going to be fucking awesome.I've never been happier. The release of the anxiety and the pressure, it just, I don't know, it just feels like you got your life back.
Like you were in fucking jail and you just got paroled or something, you know what I mean?Or you were in jail for a crime you didn't commit and somebody, they found some exculpatory evidence and now you've been released.
It's that level of just relief and satisfaction and happiness and fucking, oh my God. Honestly, one of the great days of my fucking life.So good for him.Did I miss anything?Lastly, you gotta agree with me on this.I don't care what side of the aisle.
Four years of that fucking cackling, that nasally condescending delivery and that endless cackle from that fucking feckless, useless fucking twat Kamala Harris and that fucking
Weirdo Tim, one of the most honest to God, and there's a lot of politicians that I, I'm sure I'm not leaving you out of this, that you just fucking hate and get under your skin.
There's a lot that I dislike, there's a lot I really fucking hate and can't stand.I think they're fucking terrible for the country and everything else, and they're uncooperative, divisive, power-mad narcissists, yes.
But there is something about that fucking Tim Walz.No one gets under my skin.That guy is so disturbing.He really seems fucked up, and there is something wrong with that guy.
I'm like, this motherfucker shouldn't be allowed in the White House, let alone one step away from taking over.He seems mentally disturbed.And he has a woman's eyes.
If you look at any footage of him, they don't look like the right eyes are on his head.They took the eyes out of a woman and put them... He feels like a woman, like a fairy godmother turned into a...
Turned into a man, like Mr. Destiny showed up, maybe, and gave him some kind of wish.Mr. Wolf, you're still going to have the eyes of a woman.Thank God, that fucking maniac, that creepy, fucking creep maniac weirdo.What a fucking disgrace.
Oh my God, what a beta male, that rumpled face and those little fucking eyebrows.Oh my God, he's like one of Santa's helpers.Yeah, I'd really be quaking in my boots if I was one of America's Enemies with that fucking guy.
And the fucking cherry on top is that fucking George Gaskin, that fucking, what a, a literal reign of terror on this city.Is that, in LA, is that guy is the fucking DA.He was run out of San, I'm not kidding.
He was run out of San Francisco for being too liberal.I couldn't believe when I saw his name on the ballot in 2020, I was like, oh my God, that guy is, I knew all about him.I was like, he's here?I didn't even know he's in fucking LA and running.
And the fucking dummy wins.He survived the most crooked fucking recall.It was un-fucking-believable.They tried to recall him.It was so rigged.They disqualified like 120,000 ballots for not having the letters and numbers in triplicate.
It was un-fucking-real.I think Gavin legitimately won his recall.They tried to recall him. enough idiots came out, just like Trump.
It was pretty obvious the overwhelming amount of fucking stupids here wanted that fucking slimy prick to stay in office.But Gascon clearly had the fuck, I mean, he got his ass whipped.
So now we're gonna actually have a fucking normal, not insane person,
take it over that i mean just just a fucking crime wave under that guy just just basically crime was legal he's the one that came up with that fucking bill that made it uh uh it wasn't a felony if you stole less than 950 dollars and fucking in merchandise at a store so people just went fucking crazy and just that's why everything
And now it's all gone.And so that's all over.So I'm very happy.Well, anyways, so that's that.Whether you know it or not, you're extremely lucky to be alive and to be in this country and under this fucking incoming administration.
Things are going to fucking change for the better, and we're all going to fucking be great.And it is literally a great new era in fucking American history and saved us from the clutches of what could have been
The end of the planet, the country, I don't even want to fucking know what those two fucking retards would have done.Those two inept scumbags, Kamala Harris and fucking Tim Walz, fucking both, and Joe Biden.Fuck, the worst, the worst.
Worst four fucking years in his country.He's fucking hit outside of the Civil War.Just the worst administration, most embarrassing clown show in that fuck up, embarrassing administration.Just fucking, I pray to fuck this up.
We won't survive another one.We won't fucking survive another one of those.Anyways. Aside from that, Halloween has also, remember Halloween?That was last week.Halloween has eclipsed from the last episode.I didn't do much.
I went over the Marine's house, went out to her fucking place. And I'm still talking to her.Luke, Luke, it's been the better part of two months.
Yeah, this is the most interaction, steady interaction I've had with a female, question mark, in fucking years.I don't know, I think since the fucking Jew brought, but... Again, I don't know.I'm really struggling.
There's just more and more cracks in the damn fam.I just don't know.Great, terrific person, sweet girl, great heart, but just the distance. The fashion, and you ever have this?She's more, as a chick, she's a more masculine type.
Like I said, she's a recovering lesbian.Stop it.She's a real hard ass.And I love her short crop.I love that fucking hair, I do. She's, in a lot of ways, she's wired, like a guy, with a sense of humor and stuff.And I don't need that.
I want the chick to be feminine.I don't mind if she's a little fucking sturdy.Again, she was like a Marine.I kind of like that to a degree.But I think it's cranked up a little too high.And she's a real smart, she's a bad texter.
She never followed what the fuck I'm saying or trying to say or jokes or quips or anything. God, can you get a reference?And I'm not even talking about like a scary, even like a subtle joke or something.
And it's also, she's a smart ass and I don't like the way she's smart asses.She's really annoying.
A couple of things like she's said and stuff in text where I'm just like, I can't, this, you're talking to like to an obnoxious guy and it's fucking like really off putting.And it's just, I don't know.
I wanted to just... Don't I go through this every fucking time?Every time I meet a chick, I find some kind of fucking reason.And sex is mediocre.And I don't know.It's just not... I don't know.I kind of wish it would all just kind of go away.
Anyways, I went over there.Halloween.We had a fine time.It was cute.I watched half of Drag Me to Hell and half of... It Falls.And we fucked the shit out of each other.But I took my motorcycle there. No, I took my car there that night.
And I drove home Halloween night from her place, probably around 11 or so.I got there kind of early and went right from work.And I never saw, I've lived here 20 years and I've spent a lot of time on the freeway.I never saw more
utterly insane driving in my fucking life.And I had to take... It keeps taking me... There's a way where I can go and just take the 405 and it's way easier, but I don't know.
Sometimes when I zig, it's kind of confusing to get out of a place, because there's like four fucking freeways intersecting, and I'm not really that familiar with it.
Like the 105, and the 710, and the 605, and the 202, and the fucking 98, fucking Beverly Hills, I don't know, 210.And I don't know.If I take the wrong one, I end up taking this whole... Kind of back road, I'm kind of like in the East L.A.
homes and shit, all through this area.And there were fucking cars zigzagging, flying like 100 fucking miles an hour down the goddamn freeway all over the place.I was like, thank fucking God I didn't take my bike.I probably would have fucking died.
I mean, I almost had like a couple separate incidents just with the fucking, in my car.
I was like, holy shit, the whole way home, all the way up to that fucking 105, all the way down to finally to the 405 and everything else, there was people who were fucking flying.
Probably drunk too, but just like, I don't know what the fuck was like in the water, but there's people driving like fucking maniacs and shit.It was really something.And then we went to the... Oh, okay.So get this.So that was Halloween.
I hang out with her again last Saturday.It was her birthday. And we went to meet her friends in this weed restaurant in Hollywood.It's the first like, I think there was articles and shit all over the walls, all over the place.
They're like the first restaurant in America that got some kind of permit where you can smoke weed and eat in there or whatever.And I was getting like a fucking contact high.There was a certain demographic. overwhelmingly populated the restaurant.
I'll let you guess who they were, but I don't smoke weed or anything like that.It was your birthday, so it was very LA.
It was right now, like the heart of Hollywood, just a shit attitude, just like, get in here and get the fuck out immediately so we can turn your table.You know what I mean?
No, like there was 8,000 rules, just dumb, like restaurant rules outside of the fucking weed thing.And it was like, they sort of served alcohol, but didn't.You could go up. It was pretty frustrating.I got to see her.The food was fine or whatever.
Her friends were okay.It was fine, but it was fucking freezing out.And I was about to walk out my fucking door.And I said, why don't you grab a coat?And I said, no, I'll be inside of a restaurant.It's going to be warm and everything else.
It had mostly like open ceilings with like a, At least half of the fucking restaurant was outdoorsy, and it was all overcast, and it was like fucking 55 fucking degrees out.And I was freezing when I fucking took us off.
And then we had to sit outside to wait for her friends who were over an hour fucking late.And I'm just out all fucking night.I was so pissed off, I was so fucking cold, and I was so mad I didn't grab the fucking jacket.
But other than that, weather's been great.We had that week or two, where it was every day turned into a, immediately turned into a Sherlock Holmes murder mystery on the way to work.
But now it's been profoundly and almost, um, shockingly sunny on both sides of town.I leave my sunny Valley and it stays sunny all the way over here in Marina, uh, where I'm the queen, where I'm in studio D right now, every state.
And I, I just realized the other day, it has not rained here and fucking Five months?I can't remember the last time it rained.It's been a long fucking day.I thought it was going to rain Saturday.I was almost positive.
It started to maybe drizzle, my nizzle, like barely, like a little, like when you go to get your hair cut, they use a little misty spray.You know?I went to get my fucking hair cut yesterday.Oh, my God. So I feel like shit, whatever.
Now it's like middle of the afternoon and I drive to my local Supercuts around the corner and I pull in and I don't see anybody sitting, you know, where the benches are at the windows where you could see the people waiting to get their fucking haircut.
And I'm like, oh my God, is this gonna happen?And I pull in, they took me almost immediately.This chick cut the shit out of my hair.I was in, this hasn't happened. Maybe in years, I was in and out in like 16 blessed fucking minutes.Let's hear it.
Kim finally got lucky, pulled up to the haircut place, didn't have to wait fucking three hours, didn't have to charge $800, didn't have to sit there, didn't have to cut their fucking hair, didn't have to cut it one fucking hair at a time, didn't have to sit there and just fucking stew my own fucking juice.
Boom!So fucking just... Okay, get the fuck out of here.I was like, oh my God.Still. 30, the cheapest it gets in LA that I'm aware of.Supercuts, $34 to get your hair cut to the minimum with a tip.I tipped her 10 bucks cause she really kicked ass.
I was like fucking, thank you God.I was in, I thank you. my haircut.I hate it.I hate when it takes long.They take so long.They make it an experience.I don't want an experience.
I want less hair than I walked in here with and put a fucking hat on and go home and jerk off to Mia Khalifa.And this fucking girl did it.It was phenomenal.I finally walked out with a fucking haircut.It was so great.Tip for $10.But still,
$44, you're fucking, why is it $34?It jumped from like 25, it jumped like $10 fucking dollars in like a couple years.Usually that takes like a decade for it to go that fucking high.
I mean, haircuts were like somewhere in the median of like $20 for like forever, since I could fucking walk.And now it's just like, you gotta remortgage your fucking house to get it done.
Anyways, we leave this establishment and we're going back to my house And I am driving through Hollywood and I am on Franklin right near Highland to get on the 101 to head home to my beloved Sherman Oaks.
And there was a lot of traffic backed up at the intersection as there often is.And as I'm sitting there bored,
thinking of ways to entertain myself, I realized that that fucking church that's been there forever, I think it's at least a hundred year old church right there at that intersection in the heart of Hollywood where they hate religion.
I think JFK has been to that church as a matter of fact, but it's also the church in the little Godfather montage when Tom Hagen goes to Los Angeles.
And you very prominently see that church display when they do this big, like second unit master shot of Hollywood.
So just to be a goose, Tony Saragusa, rest in peace, I took a couple pictures of that church, and I was gonna post it in the Godfather Reddit, and I was like, it's nighttime, it doesn't even look right, it doesn't even look like that montage, what are you doing?
But anyways, just for shits, just to see how it came out, I checked the picture.I took two pictures in succession of that church sitting in my car.
And I almost just tossed the pictures, but at the last second, I noticed there's three tiny little lights in the picture.I said, what the fuck?
And I swiped to the next picture, and you see that the three light formation has moved from picture to picture.So this is some sort of flying formation of something.I said, what the fuck?I zoom in on the picture.
and they are some I I I I captured we are no longer alone in the universe I captured extraterrestrial life I got three fucking spaceships that look like the fucking Boba Fett fucking slave one craft it looks like they're flying vertically with a a distinct green green fucking like
otherworldly green light at the top of this I was shocked when I zoomed in on that fucking thing I was like oh my god like I this is the craziest thing I have ever besides my own penis that I've ever gotten a fucking photo you couldn't see them they were invisible to the naked eye I didn't see any lights or anything I took a picture of the fucking church and then in the picture these three fucking
Objects, Sean, flying objects, flying in a formation.I'll put it on the fucking... I'll put it on the Instagram.Life in the 405 Podcast Instagram.You will be shy.
I hope you can sit down, gather your family around and say... The Lukester has figured out the answer to the ages-old question, are we alone in the universe?These are fucking UFOs flying.
I think I can kind of see an alien's face in one of the windows.I don't know. I start sending the picture.I immediately showed her.I go, she's following me.And I go, when do you see these fucking pictures?I got pictures of fucking UFOs.
This is insane.I've never, any sort of like legit supernatural or unidentified aerial phenomenon ever photographed on my phone by total accident.And we got to my place and I go, look at this fucking thing.Look at this spaceship.
It's a fucking spaceship.Look at this fucking thing.She's like, oh, yeah.And then she went and blew me quite well.She blew me. She was unfazed.My friends, I sent it to several group texts. None of them even got a response.No one cared.
No one cared that I got alien fucking craft flying over Hollywood of all places.You see for yourself, gentle listener.Look at these pictures and tell me what you make of this aerial phenomenon.I pictured it of this extraterrestrial.
It's gotta be craft.What the fuck are these things?No one cared.I posted it on Reddit and all over the place.No one gave a fucking shit. No one cares about this.That's how distracted.I can't believe we won this election.No one cares.
They're watching the hot chicks working out and shit on fucking TikTok and cute animal videos.What I watch, I love it.So that happened. It is wonderful having that... Whatever.I'm gonna shut the fuck up.So, yeah.I saw fucking UFOs.
I proved that there's other fucking life in Hollywood.So, the next day, I... Oh, okay.So, this will lead to my next story.Sorry.The next day, I go to work out.Now, this is a real unsolved mysteries weekend for the Lukester.
I went to work out at the... It's really growing on me, this fucking gym. It's Gold's East.Now, I usually work out at Gold's Gym Venice, right there on the beach, outside in the open air and everything else.
And now there's one over by my house and it is a fucking shithole from hell.It looks like a post-apocalyptic, it looks like something, like a Walking Dead.
I swear to you, the whole back, it's all homeless tents and weird, creepy vehicles and creepy people.Like, I think there are actual zombies just walking, there just haven't been anybody yet.They're just like fucking staggering around back there.
drug addicts with needles, all kinds of fucking creepiness.There's abandoned buildings that are all there.There's spray paint on fucking everything.I go to lock my door and somebody runs a spray paint on my hand.
Somebody got my glasses on the way into the fucking place.Just a shite hole.And then the front windows, those are all covered in gang graffiti. It's a pretty small gym inside, but I'll tell you something else, gentle listener.This place has whore.
It's got a whore.H-O-R-T.This is, it's a beat up.The locker room is a fucking piece of shit.Half of the locker doors are ripped off, ripped right out of the fucking, ripped off the hinges.
You're missing like seven, there's like 20 lockers available and like literally seven of them have like just the fucking doors.
I don't know if this is a Roid rage, like I couldn't put up 300, fuck, and just rip the door off and just threw it into the fucking ceiling.It's just a fucking mess.The best part about it is the fucking weights, they're old, all of them in there.
They look like old rusty New York City fucking manhole covers, just rusty, steel, no proper circumstance fucking machines or weights or anything else.And I fucking really like it.I like a dirty fucking ratty gym.
This is the best one since the old LA Fitness and Studio City that was down in that fucking, the pig iron pit that was down in that fucking, that was my greatest arms era from like age 34 to probably 38 or 39.
I mean, I would just go fucking bat shit down there and just beat my fucking arms. It's fucking hard today, these fucking 24-inch pythons.I got fucking rocking.I don't want to flex too much.
I don't want to rip another shirt and rip the fucking sleeves off.No, but I used to go fucking bananas.It was hot.No, women would come down the stairs and go, oh, and they would just turn right back and go right back.
It was like a fucking prison dungeon.All the weights, the barbells were all fucking rusty.It was fucking beautiful.I loved it down there.I loved that fucking place.And this place is very much like that as well.
It's got a real rocky quality to it, you know what I mean?
The fucking leg press, a lot of the machines, they have this yellow and black kind of caution tape on the… where you put your feet on like the leg press, like the big fucking… It looks like a fucking James Cameron fucking movie set.
I love that fucking place now, you know what I mean?You just gotta like watch your car, you gotta like fight a couple people on your way to your car.And this is the night after I see the UFO,
I go out into the parking lot and I see, I don't know, it looked like just homeless people making a drug fucking deal across the parking lot.And then I look beyond them and I notice a fence, a fence line.This is a very urban area.
Now, it's the rear, I wish I had a fucking picture of the whole parking lot.
I was thinking about taking a panoramic view with the camera to show you all the fucking shenanigans and just complete otherworldliness of that, the George Miller-esque quality of this fucking outside parking lot.
And there's a fence, and on the other side of this fence, which runs along the concrete abutment of what they call, quote unquote, the L.A.
River, which is basically the, in fact, I don't know, they might have actually drove through this part in Terminator 2, where he's chasing, where John Connor's on the dirt bike, and the T1 Dallas chase him, all that stuff, right?
It's like up against that thing, and there's just garbage everywhere. And there's this whole, I'll put a picture of this.
I don't know, this might be the last episode because someone's going to find out I talked about this and I'm just going to get fucking, I'm going to get Hillary Clinton over here.
There's this weird, it looks like a refugee camp of these weird tent things, these little tent buildings. But it almost looks like it could be like a medical quarantine camp.It's all these weird little structures.
And it's gated off with barbed wire fucking fencing on the top of the fucking thing.There's a locked gate to get in and out of this thing, totally locked with a security fucking truck parked in front of it.
And all these little tent structures, I'm not, I don't mean tent like one you get at like the, at Dick's Sporting Goods.I'm talking like a little, it looks like a little tiny building, like little outhouses or something.
But they look really sleek, like they're government funded.And then in the front where the lock gates are, are two huge RVs with giant fucking satellite dishes on top of them.I'm like, what the? What the fuck is this?
What in the X-Files is this thing?Hiding behind this red... I think because the parking lot... Maybe they're all actors.All the homeless people are fakes.They're all government employees.
They, like, mush a bunch of dirt on their face and shit, and rip their shirt, and walk around and be like, like, they're all, like, uh... They go home and they're like, hey, honey, I went to work today.
You know, the wife and kids in a fucking five-story house in Glendale and shit.I don't know, but it's fucking weird.It's disordered.I want to know what it is.My tax dollars are painful.What the fuck is going on in there?Is there genetic experiment?
Why are you, I guess, hiding in plain sight?I don't know.No one fucking works out here. Behind the fucking gym.It's fucking weird.What a weird, wild weekend of strangeness.
And there's fucking UFOs and weird refugee fucking camps where they're experimenting on people.Maybe they're the fucking pilots from those three crafts.Look at that old fucking tent community behind Gald's.I don't know.
weird and it was full of fucking okay so fucking gym having a good workout loving this rusted steel fucking plate just gets me right fucking high love it just man shit and there was it was just every time I go there it's just full of these
college-age Latina hard bodies, 22, fat, a little bit of fat in all the fucking right place, a little athletic body with a fat, like five foot fucking one, 109 pounds, and just rail the fuck out of these.
I love a little fucking tiny chick like that, just so sexy.This happens all the time.It's a newer phenomenon, obviously, but every time there'll be like one, I'm She looked like Mia Khalifa, second rapper.She did.She was like super fucking sexy.
She had cute nerd glasses on and kind of like a pickle nose, just a fucking beautiful smoking hot.Beautiful, just nerd hot.That's a distinct... undeniable, unrefutable type of fucking hotness.
And this chick was a fucking, oh my god, great ass and tits and everything.And I'm just fucking, you know, staring at her like a, just leering at her from across the gym and shit.And then you start looking at her, and then what does she do?
She goes over in front of the fucking mirror and takes hot, sticks her ass, takes hot chick selfies.Like in front of the whole fucking, just shamelessly, Fuck's that?Oh, police service.For at least fucking five minutes.It was so ridiculous.
It's so narcissistic.It's such a fucking turn-off.Is there anything more gross than a chick that's just fucking so self-obsessed and just sitting there going, I can't wait.I don't have enough guys fucking drooling over me now.
I gotta put these on the internet.I just need this endless, endless fucking.
IV right in my veins of non-stop fucking a horny dude just fucking leaving things in my comments to tell me I need endless validation every second of the fucking goddamn day.I can't just stand on my own two fucking feet and do everything.
I have to be carried around like Cleopatra in one of those chairs where the fucking slaves carry them with the fucking post sticking out.Fuck off.It's the new version of them.
when you would see a hot chick at a club or something and then they would go outside and smoke.You see a really pretty girl smoking like, ah, you're so fucking gorgeous.
I would have done anything for you except actually talk to you and try to get some kind of thing going where we could meet in real life and have a relationship or maybe have sex. But I won't, I'll just stand here.
But anyways, you just ruined that lady.You ruined my not talking to you ever by fucking smoking.And now it's that selfie shit.They do it at Gold's all the time, too.
There'll be some girl and I'm like, all right, man, I'm gonna work up the fucking courage.I can't resist going to talk to this woman.I don't care how badly it embarrasses me.I'm getting ready to get my strategy and everything all ready.
Then what does she do?She fucking goes and starts taking the fucking stick in her ass and I'm taking the fucking selfie.I'm making the duck lips, holding the camera high up in the air and doing the selfie.Like, Jesus, how much?
Fucking attention do you need, you fucking whore?God!And when are you going to be done with that fucking machine that you have to thrust your hips up in the air to work your glutes?
Get up and you look hot and you're wearing yoga pants and I can see the outline of your fucking clam when you thrust it.It looks like you're fucking the air.Like you're so horny, you're like, I'm on the couch making a fucking motion right now.
Somebody come and fuck me in this gym right now.Rip a hole in my pants.Like that weird porn looks like when somebody rips a hole in their jeans and fucks them with the jeans. Come do that to me right now.And I just stare at him.
I would just fucking ravage you right on that fucking machine.How many more sets you got, man?Are you almost done?I need to get on that thing, because I fucking hate that machine.It hurts my ass treaks so fucking bad.And I hate it.
I usually save it for dead last, because it's on the way out of the gym, up to the locker room.And I just watch the hot chick just fuck the air on it.
And half the time, they fucking put up more weight than I do, because they're younger, and they have tighter butt cheeks.And they're in their youth.You know what I'm saying?Anyways. Another noose, movie noose.
So Maizwa, get ready for this guys, because you are listening to the wonderful sounds, the host of a... of a podcast that is also, my script made it into the finals of the Los Angeles International Screenplay.
Thousands of scripts were sent in, and my Misfits pilot made it into the top 10.God, Terry, everybody, finally got something to place into a screenplay competition.I send them all the time, usually they don't even fucking place.
This time it places me into the fucking top 10.Boom! Luke, what happens now?Nothing.Nothing.There's no ceremony.There's no nothing.I got an email.I paid $55 to submit it.I got a little laurel, a little tag that I could put.
So when I print up a copy of it, I could put it on the cover and say, finalist in the Los Angeles International Screenplay Competition.The winner won $500.And I was in the fucking top 11 or so scripts. It's nice.I really did do a whole hell of it.
I was all excited when I first got it.I thought it meant a finalist as in they weren't done judging the competition yet.I'm like, oh my God, maybe I could win.I was like, no, no, that's it.You were a finalist.
The winner won and the finalists get a laurel they can put on their fucking screenplay.So, that was that.I guess it's proof somebody liked it, but that's it.Now, I watched a... I watch this movie that's been floating around.
You've probably seen it in the queue of your, been on various streaming platforms.It's from 2006. It's a Vin Diesel movie called find me guilty.Now the poster is fucking terrible.
It's him sitting in this lazy boy chair, like, Hey, what do you want from me?Like, he's just kind of fat balding gangster guy.And I'm like, this looks like Italian stereotypes, dumb movie.
And I could smell the fucking pasta coming out of the goddamn poster kind of thing.You know what I mean?
I was like, I don't know, but it was Sidney Lumet, you know, who made dog, the afternoon, one of the fucking best movies ever made in the history of fucking Hollywood.And it's, That's not just me saying that.That's no joke.
If you've never seen Dog the Afternoon, what the fuck are you doing?Go watch it.It still holds up.It's from like 1973.Just phenomenal on every conceivable level.And a couple other like good ones, but another guy that's, he's great with that.
He's a great actor's director, but as far as a movie director really putting together a good cohesive movie, He's got more shits than hits.He's another one of these fucking guys.But, you know, I can never deny him dog day.
I mean, I don't care if he made nothing but fucking show boppers after that.That's still like one of the greatest movies I've ever made.Anyways, so I never had any intention.I mean, it's a terrible fucking poster.
Everything about it was just like, yeah, Vin Diesel is a fucking, you know.But, you know, people forget he had a legitimate acting career. He had a legitimate acting career for like five minutes.
He got put in Private Ryan and did some good acting there, even though a little bit that he's in it kind of thing.So I knew somewhere deep down the guy kind of had chops.
He just immediately went the movie star route and did nothing but big, dumb, fucking shit movies after.Apparently he's a fucking total prick and a nightmare to work with and shit and all that other stuff.
So for all those reasons stated, I had no interest in seeing this.And then somewhere, online movie discussion somewhere.I don't know.I don't know where it was somewhere online.People were like, give that movie a shot.
It's, it's, I know the poster stocks or whatever else, but like, uh, it's, it's better than you think it is.And it's a fucking true story.I didn't know that it's his true story about this gangster that represented it.
And it takes place in the eighties.It's not super old.And he represents himself in his own fucking trial.Uh, and he wants, Oh, that's where I, I, for some reason I was looking into, um,
Somewhere else I was reading about something about a case about people defending themselves.And then that one came up in the thing.And it was this famous case of this fucking gangster that got, that won.
He had defended himself and won, which is like super fucking rare.And I was like, well, oh yeah, that's what that movie's about.So I actually fucking sat down to watch this movie, not expecting much, but hoping it's going to be okay.
Uh, first of all, it takes place in the eighties.This, this fucking thing has, again, I know the guy's like talented at times, Mr. Lumet, but it's every fucking mob movie cliche.You could possibly.
You forget what an indelible mark Scorsese made in gangster movies, going back to even Mean Streets, but to use that, but most obviously most, most influentially in Goodfellas. that he uses, there's no score.
He uses a soundtrack of whatever era the part of the movie is in.Obviously it travels throughout the guy's life.And then every era of his life, he's playing music that was popular around that time.
And it just burned in everyone's head, because Goodfella starts out in the fifties, that it's all crooner music and like fifties doo-wop.And everything gangsta movie.It could take place on Mars in the year 3000.
Frankie Valli and the fucking Tops or whatever the fuck.Every time with this shit I'm like, does everyone have to steal this 50s fucking... It's taking place in the 80s. Why are you playing 50s fucking music?It's such a rip-off, it's so hacky.
It immediately just takes you fucking right out of it.I think even Sopranos did that.Everybody fucking does it.It's so exhausting.It's such a fucking cliche.
And a lot of like, hey, oh, and all these, of course, everyone in the same fucking mob and all the whole cast of the Sopranos, half the guys in Goodfellas.
At this point, they're all in their 70s now, because this is taking place, they shot this in 2005. So just all the same guys, can you find anybody fucking different?I mean, they did something at least different with Vin Diesel playing this guy.
Number one, that's annoying.Number two, it looks like shit.There is no look to it.There is no distinctive visual pattern to it.And then I start thinking even more broadly, how often this happens, how many have said,
East Coast, New York directors and New York films don't care about cinematography.Their cinematography sucks.And almost every, I started thinking, I'm like, all the East Coast DPs are all, they're competent enough.They're competent.
They're not, there's no real look to it.Scorsese didn't have a movie that looked any, aside from New York stories,
which Nestor Alomendro shot, and I don't know why he didn't work with that guy more because it's some of the fucking best cinematography ever.Especially in the 80s, all the Scorsese movies looked so bland, up to and including Goodfellas.
He didn't really have a good looking movie until fucking Casino in 95, where he finally got up and hired a West Coast Hollywood DP, Robert... Richardson and it looks phenomenal.It looks like a fucking dream or something.
It's so visually resplendent to look at.And all those other movies just look like muck.And I get it, it's New York City.It's supposed to be kind of like gritty and realistic looking, but you get sick of it.
I'm thinking back of every movie I can think of that is a New York based DP famous for being, you know, Gordon Willis shot the Godfather and all that stuff.The Godfather's fucking
fucking way, underexposed by three fucking stops, especially Godfather 2.
I mean, like, the visual palette of Godfather is cool and interesting and stuff, but it's so dark, you don't know what's going on, to the detriment of the movie and the story, on top of all the other problems I have with the Godfather script, which I have talked about endlessly on this show.
The cinematography doesn't fucking help either.I don't know where they are, I don't know who these fucking people are, the whole fucking nine. Gordon Willis did shoot Manhattan.
Woody Allen's, some of the best black and white photography I've ever put on fucking film in a Hollywood movie is Manhattan from Woody.Phenomenal fucking looking movie.And again, New York, black and white, gritty.
And here's the thing, I admire their grit with a lot of things, of the no bullshitness of New York.That's why they're comedy so much, because they're more about the story, they're about the substance more than they are about the presentation.
Their comedy is more to the point.It's joke-based.It's thought-based.In LA, it's act-based.Are you a wacky character on stage running around and talking silly?That's the shit that flies out here.It's all show.In New York, it's all tell.
And I respect that a lot.So I get the ethos in the way they shoot pictures over there.But at the same time, especially this far into it, 2006 and I'm like, This looks like shit.It looks like a fucking soap opera.It looks like a shitty sitcom.
Like, it's so... Hard top light on everyone's heads.I'm like, can someone give this a fucking look?I looked at the cinematographer.He was like a hack.He'd done mostly like TV and shit.
I'm like, Sidney Lumet couldn't find a more... Is it Lumet or Lumet?Sidney Lumet couldn't find a more competent fucking cinematographer that would give this some sort of more visual... You know what I mean?Look and everything like that.So...
That aside, it was okay.It's okay.There was one great scene in it.
There really was some of the best acting I've ever, I mean, obviously it's a fucking low bar, but some of the most interesting acting I've seen, a really touching scene that he has in the courtroom.
Vin Diesel sells it 100% and so does the other actor in the scene with him.It was the scene where he's interrogating his cousin.Really, really good. But yeah, it was okay.
I mean, if you're not as fucking stupid obsessed with movies as me, these things probably wouldn't fucking bother you.But yeah, it was, I didn't hate it.
So I don't know if you're really fucking bored this weekend or something, or you're fucking scrolling.For what amounts to the length of a running time of a feature film to find a film.I guess for finding guilty on your short list, I don't know.
Yeah, he's pretty good.That guy, you know, he's one of those guys like Nicolas Cage.When he wants to be, he's good.Vin Diesel, but it's almost, you know, it's like, why bother?
I could act at 2% and still get paid fucking 40 million bucks for this movie and treat everybody like fucking shit on the set and not show up on time and be super rude to everybody and argumentative and a fucking control freak and an asshole.So.
Yeah.Well, this episode, this time has been very odd for me.This fucking day flew.I felt, I felt substantially better today when I woke up, like, uh, you know, on top of all the other great things going on this week.
and everything, I felt like a change in my whole spirit.
It really sounds like a silly thing to say, but when you literally thought the world was in legitimate danger of some seriously horrific things coming due to people's stupid decisions, and now it just almost magically is not, everything's gonna, for the first time in a long, long time,
I can go, I think everything's gonna be okay.It's gonna be a good era now instead of a terrifying and bad and one full of despair era.On top of that, waking up feeling much fucking better today.
And it was so fucking, I swear, I came in last time, we were so busy running around with so much, we had a mountain of gear and all that shit.And I looked at the clock, it was fucking two.Two? I'm like, how the fuck is it two o'clock already?
I feel like I've been talking for maybe 45 minutes, and we gotta be a fucking hour and a half into this.I'm just like, just weird.It's a weird one of those days where time is just doing weird shit, I guess, for lack of a better fucking phrase, right?
I don't know. So that was that.My sickness, the election, the Halloween, the UFOs, the gold fucking gym, the refugee camp, and find me guilty with Mendes.How do you like that, huh?
What other podcast is going to get this kind of fucking in-depth analysis and thought aside from the show?It was amazing.I was listening to it a couple days before the election. J.D.
Vance was another guy who like, I like him, he's just, he's a boring guy, but like, I want a boring politician.I want to respect the fucking business as usual.We don't have to fucking worry about the whole world and country and society falling apart.
That's what I kept saying.That's my head, I went, Mabba, make America boring again.Can we please?We don't have to sit and worry and think about and talk about fucking politics every minute of every day.Remember when life was like that?
It was fucking fantastic.Can we get back to the fucking please? Oh, what the fuck was I gonna say?What was I saying?Oh, yeah, J.D.Vance, he's on Rogan.It was a pretty good interview.
It was definitely more entertaining, more relatable than Trump being on there.By the end of the episode, J.D.Vance, who was also in the military, and he saw combat, right?I think he was overseas, I think.He was in some battles.
Unlike pathological liar Tim Walz, who's lied about every fucking, what a fucking creepy weirdo, Dumb schmuck of a fucking human.Just a fucking detestable little fucking creep.Tim Walz lied about everything.
Lied about his military service, his fucking coaching, his political background, everything.Going to China 20 fucking times.20 times he's been to China and spent an inordinate amount of time.Lied about being at the fucking Tiananmen Square.
He got caught with all this stuff. Oh yeah, I don't know, I guess I misremembered.No, you outright lied.You're a lying little man who wants accolades and respect for things you didn't do.And you're obsessed with having that.
And you don't have the balls or the brains to do it, yet you constantly try to engender it for you.What a fucking despicable little, God, I fucking hate that cocksucker.I'm so fucking glad he's not in charge of shit.
It's that fuckhole state Minnesota that went to complete hell.Anyways.Rogan keeps going on this, One of his most brought up topics is people that he's talked to.He's a big drug guy, loves weed, loves psychedelics and all that kind of stuff.
And he talks about how there's some sort of psilocybin, like a mushroom type based drug, that has been found to apparently tremendously help a lot of vets with really bad PTSD and all this stuff.
But dude is fucking, this is all him, I don't know how, he's probably right, I don't know anything about this, so I'm not even, I'm not trying to denigrate him or anything, but he's like, because all these fucking stupid laws that are 100 years old and all had,
nefarious reasons for even being instituted, and corrupt reasons, they're still illegal, and we can't get this stuff, and it's known to really fucking help people.
And I've heard him bring it up a couple times, and I don't know, it sounds, I don't know, maybe he's right.He said he personally knows people that took it, and it literally changed their fucking life.
These guys were suicidal, and they were a mess, and everything else. And he's telling Vance about it.Vance has never heard this, and he's a vet, and he knows vets with PTSD and everything else.And he's like, I didn't know this was a thing.
He's like, yeah, it's fucking illegal.For no reason.This could really help people.We need to get this... legalized and stuff and instituted.And Vance like really conceded, he goes, I didn't know this.
He goes, I'm gonna look into this, see what I can do.And I was like, did this guy, did this, did Rogan's fucking podcast just affect policy change?
Fucking go, is he gonna go in and make this stuff, this shit that people have, again, maybe he's completely right.He seems like he knows what he's talking about.
I couldn't tell you one way or the other, but like this thing that people really need, it would be really beneficial, but is illegal.
could possibly get overturned from a politician coming on his fucking show and hearing him out and going, yeah, that sounds about right.Maybe I shouldn't make that happen.I was like, that's the fucking, this right now is the zenith.
I don't know how much longer it'll be in existence.I know Rogan's been popular for a long time.This has gotta be the peak fucking period of Rogan's, the peak power of Rogan's podcast, having Trump and Vance with all those views that obliterated
Every other appearance that the opposition candidates went on Howard Stern or whatever the fucking dumb talk show circuit.I mean, that fucking Trump was it was like 4 million views in like three fucking hours.It just clobbered everything.
Of course, she wouldn't go on that show, neither would fucking Tim Walz.Neither one of those.They're both invited.They would not show up and talk because they're complete fucking phonies with zero leadership fucking skills or quality whatsoever.
Or even conversational fucking talent, you know, to even be able to talk for that long without a teleprompter or somebody in their ear telling them.
what to say because they have zero values or they just want fucking raw naked power they have no reason to have it or qualifications for it but they want it anyways but anyways i was just like wow that's really that's really something like the fucking reach of that show that uh
It's actually like getting laws changed.I mean, you know, I don't know if that's going to happen, but he sure sounded open to it.And I was like, this is the way it should be.They work for us.These are our elected officials.
They're supposed to be looking out for us.They never do.Somewhere along the way, it turned into that, you know, we went from like Ben Franklin who like, you know, fought a revolution to everything else.That's like the embodiment of
qualified representation of the people.It's two people that do nothing but profit off of us and then do nothing to help us.In fact, all they do is make things harder and worse for us.Like, how did we get here?How did we get to?
It was nice for once, again, after years of hearing somebody going, huh, yeah, maybe we should look at it.That sounds like something that would help people.And that's my job as your elected fucking representative.Like, wow, my God, it does.
It actually still works.I thought it was all dead.I thought this country was gone.The whole fucking process was finished.And I never thought we would ever have another Republican president again in our lifetime.I said that many times.
I said that for years because that was based on the evidence that I saw in front of me.It wasn't speculation, but it was informed speculation.You understand.So that's that. It's gonna be great, it's gonna be great.
It's for the first time in a long time.Things are looking up, things are gonna be good.I am hopeful for the, hopeful for the fucking future and what's coming, holy shit. It's just literally a miracle.
Honestly, God, you could make fun of me if you don't believe in God and tell me I'm fucking stupid, but honestly, God, I literally feel divine intervention, and it was that profound and that distinct of an event that it almost seems like a power greater than us instituted it and was involved, you know what I'm saying?
Really, and it's, again, I'm no fucking Trump worshiper, but I think the guy can handle himself.He has a business sense.He doesn't fuck around and wants us to be a fucking great country again. I hope it happens, and I hope nothing happens to him.
Because when people come in and try to shake up the whole establishment... It doesn't go well and no one's done this since fucking John.
Look, no one has shaken up Reagan a little bit, but no one has not upended the entire process like this since John F. Kennedy.Before that, I don't even fucking know who.Lincoln, maybe.It's that historically impactful right now.
It's very, very amazing we get to see this and live through this.This is a real fucking historical shit. That's that.Song of the Week is an old emo favorite you might have forgotten about from the late 90s.
I happened to hear it somewhere, I don't know, I was out somewhere, I heard it, I was like, oh my god, I forgot this fucking song from, I don't even know the name of it, from Hot Rod Circuit, You Smell Like Cancer, whatever the fuck it was.
I was like, Oh my God, I loved it.I never got into that band, but I remember the song.I loved it.And I haven't heard it 20 fucking years.And I was like, Oh, I want people fucking, it probably fell off your, uh, it's one of those, holy shit.
I forgot about that song songs.So, uh, lucky you, you get to hear it.I'm just kidding.It's, uh, whatever emo rock fucking shit.But, uh, That's it.I'm sorry the show is late.I will see you at 474, Trump 2024.Good times.We're doing it.
And everything's gonna be great.Kiss my grits.
Why can't you just go outside?Throw it all away In the course of one day Why can't you just go outside?Breathe in Exhale You know you taste like cancer In the course of one day Why can't you just go outside?
Throw it all away In the course of one day Why can't you just go outside?Breathe in Breathe in Exhale You know you taste like cancer
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