Poo, peepee.Episode 472, live from the 405 podcast at Uncle Luke 2 on Instagram.Luke Allen, your host, live from the 405 podcast on Instagram.Not in a Halloween spirit this year, no pun intended.Anybody else?
Can't remember I'm getting old and cranky so much.So it's really starting to terrify me how much I am the ease the disturbing ease with which I am just settling into The early stages of just old age or I just don't want to do anything.
I am so much more content just being home or doing something chill or the amount of The amount of energy working out takes from me, and I can't not work out.I just, I can't, I can't.
It's part of my mental health, my mental well-being, and my physical, but it's not, it just takes everything out of me now.Like just, it takes everything I got just to have a good workout anymore, quite often.
And then afterwards, I don't want to do anything.It used to charge me up. I wanted to go out and stay out all night.That used to get me so wound up working out and now it just gets me.If I have a good one, I'm tired by the end, which is good.
And then I just want to like go home and go to bed, which is so antithetical.Did you hear me just get puberty there two seconds ago?Did you hear how high my voice went and crack? It's so the opposite of how I have been wired for 20 years.
All I ever wanted to do was go out and chase things and pursue whatever endeavors or interests that I had that I was committed to.And that's, I don't really have any now.And I don't know what to do.And I'm tired.
I'm ready to go to bed by like 10 o'clock.Isn't this great?Good intro to the podcast, Luke. It's really going to endear you to people.You kids get off my lawn Halloween.No, I'm just, I'm not into it this year.
Maybe, well, next year it'll be on a, well, next year Halloween falls on a weekend.Me and good old boys are trick or treating, robbing little kids for bags so that old man got behind our ass.
That doesn't really rhyme, but he did what he had to do there.Maybe next year it'll be on a Friday, so it'll be, I'll have a little bit more, you know, I'll be 46 and 47 by then. You know, I'm sure Dan will have a party at his place.
He'll have a crazy party.Dan's probably having a party.He still invites me to his party.He's such a sweet guy.Dan Paustian, comedian.Los Angeles comedian.And all around rascal, Daniel.But I don't know.I'm just so... I don't know.
I got so much going on with like... It's weird having a chick ish.It's been like a really long time.I don't know I'm having all kinds of like weird feelings about it.I don't I'm conflicted I don't know.I've been out.
I have been out to pasture for so long I've been I was single for so long and for four fucking years.I really have been dead I'm sorry to turn this into a psychotherapy session from the second.I hit record.
This isn't what I usually do I'm sorry, but um I was out in the desert for so long.I just adjusted to life like that.And now it gets to the point where it's like, I have to do, like, it'd be different if this chick lived close.
She lives really fucking far away.This is the Marine I've been telling you about, the chick that dresses like a guy, which I have, unfortunately, I have all kinds of issues with.It's weird to me.
And I'm giving it time to try to deal with it, because it's not really my thing.But she's a real sweetheart and a good person.But it's like, I don't. I don't know.There's just so much going on.I don't know what to do.
And I don't usually have to deal with the same way.This is like when I had to start going to the doctor again.What do you think?Maybe Luke should be taken to a doctor.It's not impossible.
It's like I hadn't gone to the doctor and have to have medical stuff for at least a decade.And then all of a sudden, I got to start going to the doctor again.And I hate the doctor.And I have all kinds of doctor and medical anxiety and stuff.
But things are happening to my body.Oh, I got to schedule a fucking colonoscopy. Have you ever had a colonoscopy?That's on my list for this year.I have to do it.I'm 45.I got to get my asshole checked and make sure there's no cancers in there.
I got to get that done, too.You know what I mean?But I had to readjust to that.And now it's like this with dating or having a person around.And it's such a weird, it's a really bad and weird psychosis.I'm so going to fucking die alone.I don't know.
I don't know what to do.I just need to meet a normal, regular chick that I'm really attracted to.It's so hard to do here.And everyone I talk to, So many people, at the very least, it's not just you, Murray.It's not just me going through.
Everyone I talk to, every fucking age, both genders.I hear chicks say the same thing about guys.There's just something.Nobody wants a long-term relation anymore.I should have gotten while the getting was good.I fucked that up.
I had several chicks, Richard Lewis, that I totally could have and should have been with. And I just, I let them fall by the wayside, because there'll be another dame coming around in a couple days.And it was like that for fucking years.
And it was wonderful.All I did was fuck, and have fun, and do whatever I wanted.And I had a stable of gash and gals that would just come over at the fucking touch of a phone.And now it's all over.And now it's done.That's been done for years.
Even I was talking to the television zone Jersey triplets. They're still all single and dating.And Alex, he's like, dude, I haven't gotten fucking laid in, this is the longest I've gone without getting laid in forever.I was like, yeah, welcome.
Welcome, brother.Because he's younger and better looking and has more energy and everything else.And his TV crushes.But I'm telling you, it's across the whole age spectrum and everything else.So then what?I find myself a nice girl.
I said, why don't you get yourself a nice girl and settle down? And then all I do is find problems with it and everything.I don't know.Everybody probably goes through this.I'm really beating myself up about it.
I'm all kinds of confused and don't know what to do.And then there was a whole other incident with some other girl, quote-unquote, last night.And it's, I don't know, everything's just fucking... How you doing?How you feeling, folks?
You listening right now?You in the Halloween spirit?And this is one of those times where it's like, I'm pretty settled on the fact that I don't want kids, and it's fine.
But the older I get, when I see my brother's kids and stuff, or my sister's, the kids grow up.It's fun.This stuff is fun to do when you have kids.They talk about it on all the conservative podcast hosts I listen to.All seem the same thing.
It's like, you have these Disney adults and all these people that are in their 40s and 50s, and they're still trying to do kids stuff.And they still collect toys, and they go and do all like,
you know, do their whole yard for, I don't know, they just, you know, it's just self-indulgent, trying to keep their childhood going.
But when then you actually have kids, it's better because you get to, you get to kind of relive your childhood through the kids.
And you do, like, they send you videos of the kids being cute on Christmas, like, it must be great to have kids on Christmas, little kids on Christmas.There must be a hoot.It's too late for me, I'm fucking 45, but, um.
I mean, it's not technically too late.Of course, I can get somebody pregnant.But you know what I'm saying?It's like, I don't know.So if you got kids in Halloween, it's probably a hoot, a trick, and a treat.But I don't.And I just don't care.
Even the fucking aliens chick is like, what are you doing tomorrow night?I was like, I don't really.I have no plans, and I didn't really feel like doing shit.She was like, me neither.You want to just come over?And I was like, ah, shut up.
I went over there this weekend and we finally got to the old, you know, did the old horizontal tango. And it was, I don't know, I don't want to get too deep into my feelings in here, but it was... Boy, it had been a long time.
That was the end of a long, fucking dry streak.So that was interesting, but... It's like when I go there and she's in her little jammies, she's cute.She's fucking... She's 20 years younger than me.She's fucking 27.It's ridiculous.
But like, you know, she's in shape and everything else. She's a good kid.She's got a good heart.But speaking of good hearts, I need to go get my heart checked.Because I went over there.I went there Friday night.
And she offered the dreaded, why don't you sleep over?The storm clouds added in post. I don't sleep over well at people's places.It's getting worse as the years go by.It's been a long time since I tried it, and I'm not even at my own place.
So I said, all right, I'll give it a shot.I'll come over Friday night.I'll stay over.It'll be cute.And her place is very cozy.It's low lit. She's a Halloween freak.She's like a real Wednesday Addams type of chick.
She loves horror and all that kind of stuff, and goofy shit, and spooky shit.She's got Halloween, low light orange Halloween lighting, and all that kind of stuff.And her house has this like, what is that, velvet?Like velvet cover.
And she has air humidifiers.It's very Luke sleep friendly. So I went there, and we horsed around a little bit.We did some horsing around.
And then afterward, I said, OK, so I can't bring, of my three-step sleep system, I couldn't bring the powder stuff.It's in a big, giant kind of jar.So instead, I'm going to give this a shot.I have prescribed pills.What does my doctor give me?
50 milligram. Lorazepam, that's what it is.Right?Oh, no, that's the stuff that takes me to calming down.It's Fiddle DD.They give me Lorazepam, too, for anxiety stuff sometimes for when I fly, every time I fly.But I forgot the other stuff.
Anyways, it's like prescription fucking sleep medication, right?And it's pretty high.But lately, As you've heard on this show, it hasn't been working very well.At night, I can't sleep.I toss and turn.Candlesticks in the dark.
Visions of bodies being burned.Four walls and a stare.I'm paranoid.Sleeping with my finger on a trigger.My mom always tells me I ain't living right, but I ain't going out without a fight.I just fucking sit there, and I can't fucking sleep.
I wake up eight fucking times a night, whether it be my own brain, whether it be noises that come from the apartment above or next to me, which happened quite a bit, because why would I have quiet fucking neighbors ever in two years, once ever, ever?
Why would I ever have a quiet, normal fucking neighbors that go to sleep at a reasonable hour?They're not up all hours of the night stomping around and whatever. What the fuck else happens?So I brought two of these pills.I said, I'll try this.
I'll take two of these fucking pills.And I'll just shoo the rest of my medication.I think I took a melatonin too.Two. Now, I won't talk about this too long.Nobody wants to hear about gushy relationships.I am a sweet, cuddly guy.
Under this brisk exterior, behind every tough guy, there's a sense of... I love cuddly.I am a shoulder-scratchy arm, constant.I'm very touchy.I like playing with hair.I like the whole... I like cuddle.I like all that stuff.I like spooning.
I like the whole fucking thing.But I can't... I can't sleep like that.And I can't sleep next to anybody.
So like, the more I get up there in years, the thing that ravages, even if I don't drink, if I go to bed super late and or don't get any fucking sleep, I am fucked the next day.
I'm in such bad shape the next day that I can't, I might as well be hungover.I mean, sometimes there was drinking on top of it, but of quite a few times there wasn't a sip of alcohol.And I felt like I was hungover the next day.I was a mess, right?
That's been creeping up on me, creeping on a come up for years here.So I'm trying to explain it.This is the problem, too.I'm an old man now, and I'm dating a youngster.And I'm weird on top of it.
I'm a weird eccentric guy, and I have a lot of strange neurotic kind of impulses and things.So I'm like, if I go to sleep too late, I explain the whole thing.I'm like, I can't go to sleep super late.I'll be fucked tomorrow. Can I sleep on your couch?
You sleep in here.I'll sleep on your couch.And then I'll come in the morning.We can cuddle the goddamn morning away.I just need to get sleep and I can't really sleep next to people. And she's like, OK, sure.
She wasn't thrilled, but I was like, listen, toots, that's the deal.If you want any kind of cuddles at all, I'll just hop on my fucking Harley and ride off into the moonlight.And you'll never fucking see me again, you pig!No, so she accepted that.
So I go into her living room.I take my two.I don't know what's going to happen.I've never taken two of these fucking sleeping pills before.They're pretty strong. Immediately, I start fucking having hallucinations, man.They weren't even dreaming.
I'm telling you, I was on another fucking plane of existence.I might as well have taken acid.It was insane.I was having these, whatever.So, I'm falling asleep.I think I tried to go to bed at maybe 12, 30 or 1.
What I don't realize is she has like wood floors or like, you know, the fake wood paneling kind of stuff.And she has two cats.And the two cats like to play with a toy, I guess.
During the night, I thought cats maybe went to sleep or slept or something.Not these.No, they were up all night.And they were dragging a bag around.They were dragging some loud plastic.Oh, you know what?
I could probably replicate the noise here because The floor here is of similar material.This is what it sounds like.Right when I was on the fucking precipice of falling, or I would be asleep.
I'd just be about to fall into a hard sleep in the morning out here. Like something rattling around on the fucking floor.It was like perfect timing.
They knew exactly, maybe they were a bureau, maybe the cats sent these, the bureau sent these cats to the bureau with the office in downtown LA.So we committed to making my life a living hell.They switched her cats out before I went to sleep.
And I said, no, get these ones that will play with this loud toy.Every time he's about to fall asleep.I got like no, dude, I took all that medication.I probably got about three hours of sleep.I was, I was so fucked the next day.
I think I fell asleep good, maybe around four or five in the morning.I went and got in her bed because I couldn't take the fucking cats making the fucking noise anymore.So I got in her bed and then I finally fell asleep.
I put the white noise thing right next to her so she had to listen to my white noise thing fucking cranked up.These are the, Luke, why are you single?Here's the benefits of dating me.And then I finally fell asleep pretty good.
And then I woke up and I felt kind of nauseous.I didn't feel good.And she, now it's been, whatever.She tried to initiate morning set.And I realized it's been a long time since I've even had the opportunity to have morning set.
It's been many years, probably.And I was like, this is fucking gross.Like our breath stinks.Our mouth is all full of morning yuckiness.Our genitals are all covered in the flakes, in the dried up juices of the, natural juices from the night before.
And I was just like, God, I just repudiated her.And I think she was pissed.And I just didn't fucking feel good, right?So I'm like, don't hate me.I'm going to go.I fucked this all up.I really did a terrible job of doing all this.I'm sorry.
You brought me into your home, and we were supposed to have a cute, cuddly trial run of like, what if we live together kind of fucking thing. And I got on my bike and rode home, and it was so fucking d... I hate where she's at.
She's in fucking... It's right where I went to go get my fucking Challenger last year, over by Downey Dodge over there in Downey, California.It's like 30 fucking miles past Studio D where I'm at right now.Way the fuck out there, right?
So I got to take this fucking freeway that takes me all the way.You take a whole bunch of them until you finally get on the 101, like the 5 and the 101 there, like just before downtown LA.
And you got to go through the 101 part that wraps around downtown LA, but there's always a shit ton of traffic. I was so, dude, my reaction time was so fucked up.I had such a fucking dangerous drive home.It was fucking nuts.
Like, I swear, like almost like, I would just be totally like, not closing my eyes, but just mentally just wandering off.Like, oh shit, I'd fucking slam and like, holy shit, was that a harrowing ride home.It was not good.And then like,
I went home, I slept for maybe an hour.I dragged my fucking ass to Jay, the worst back workout of fucking 2024.And like when I woke up, this is like this new thing, like my heart hurts.
This happened last time I had that really, really bad hangover, the real bad one.Last time I was at Dan's house, what was that? When was that?Oh, God.When was that last time?It's been every six months, so it was like May or something.
I forget, but I went to that party.And aforementioned, Dan Postain's fucking house.And I had that horrific hangover night when I thought I was going to fucking die of alcohol poisoning again.I fucked up.
And I did this thing where it feels like somebody punched me in the fucking chest, like punched me right in the heart.It almost hurts to the touch.
But if I breathe in, there's like a muscle in my heart that constrains, and it hurts really fucking bad.And I was trying to go to the gym, and it hurts.It was killing me. And I'm like, something's wrong, and it sucked.
I was gonna go to the fucking... I got a cardiologist appointment, and I just had to fucking move it up a month.But like, literally, I have to go get my heart checked.
But like, that fucking staying up and not sleeping, that medication, like, sent grandpa into, like, a fucking, like, I don't know, am I gonna have a fucking heart attack?Like, it really hurt.So I was all fucked up.So... Where was I going with that?
What was the... Oh, Christ.That was supposed to segue into something else.So I was supposed to go to... Anyway, so yeah, that was not good.And I was supposed to go to fucking Norma Jean that night, and then...
A couple of bills landed in the old bank account and I might have overpaid.I got a little overzealous in my credit card payment because I had a few extra fucking dollars.I got a couple extra gigs and whatever.I misallocated my funds.
And then when I just, I happened to check, she was going to go with me.I was going to go Friday night.We were going to go see Norma Jean and Pomona at the Glass House.
And then I check and I'm like, I don't have like $70 for fucking two Norma Jean fucking tickets.So now I don't get to fucking see the band. God, it was so perfect, because I had so much self... I was so bummed I couldn't go.
I just couldn't go last Thursday.It just didn't work out.But I'm like, Friday night will work, even though I'll make the compromise to go to that shitty fucking glass house in Portland that I hate going to see metal shows so much.
But I will go, and everything will be great, and I can get up.And I did not have the fucking money.I was so bummed.So I missed Norma Jean, but even dude Bogues is like, they come every year.They'll be back.
I'm like, yeah, but they're doing the fucking heiress tour.They're going to each... And I wanted to hear Triffids.I don't know how I slept on this song.It was just a random song off one of their random albums.It's so fucking good.It's so heavy.
All the kids are doing the fucking two-step to it.It's a dance sensation across the nation.Triffids, fucking Norma Jean.For God's sakes, I love that fucking song. And I was dying to hear it, and I didn't get to.
But I feel like there was another reason I was fucking going through that.But I don't know.That's what fucking happened.
And I'm going to listen back to this and go, dummy, you were setting that up, and you went into the whole thing about sitting in a chick's house because, insert thingy here.Well, she and I went to see a, we went on a little fucking date.
I told you I was going to go see Fucking Smile 2. Now, indeed, I said that the fucking trailer sucked.The trailer looked terrible.I liked Smile 1 a lot.I'll always give you the spiel.
It was denigrated to... If you hadn't seen It Follows, then Smile 1 would have had a lot more impact on it.It really shamelessly ripped off this really brilliantly original, creepy, unsettling horror movie from 2016, It Follows.
If you haven't seen that, fucking check it out.I think it's on... I think it's on streaming right now on Amazon.I think it kind of lives on Netflix.It seems like it's always there, but so fucking good.
And that's one of those ones, like, put your phone down, like, you really got to, like, you got to let that movie just, like, take over.Like, it takes place in this weird, you can't tell if it's, like, the 80s or not.It's really straight.
The whole thing just feels like a weird dream, that movie.They did such a good job.It's such a, one of the most, like, They channeled David Lynch without ripping my... It gave that same feeling of a fucking David Lynch movie.
Just that weird unsettling stuff that he puts in there.You're like, who would fucking think of this?That was so disturbing what I just see.You know what I mean?And it's not real gory or anything.There's some dumb parts in it.
The ending's kind of stupid, but overall... And they fucking totally stole that, which fucking pissed me off.But anyways... So we went Saturday night.Oh yeah, I hung out with two nights in a row.It's been a long time since that either.I don't know.
I'm trying to fucking handle all this.I'm just so set in my ways and I've been single for so long.It's hard to make any kind of compromises or any kind of fucking thing, whatever.
I don't like going Saturday night over, especially in the part of town we were going where there was a lot of the, almost over, a lot of gangsters, a lot of, entire face and bald head tattooed in a thousand yard stare and big fat chola fucking chicks with like purple lipstick on and eyelashes that weighed a fucking pound and a half and both of them probably had a fucking,
a Mad Max level arsenal of fucking guns, some rough looking customers.But the problem is, like I say, every time.
Now, they're not as bad as the blacks in the theater, because the blacks don't shut the fuck up through the whole movie, and they're on their phone the whole time.
But the Mexicans show up with their children, with their little kids, late at night, to R-rated movies and all kinds of extremely inappropriate movies that kids fucking should not be seeing.
They show up 20 minutes into, they show up, there's a nonstop stream and trickle of them 20 and 25 minutes into the movie.They're constantly coming in after the opening credits have already, Why would you come into a movie 20 minutes late?
You're paying to see this.It's essential that you know the whole story.And now you just missed all the setup.How the fuck are you going to know what's going on?You just like seeing some kind of image moving around on a big screen in front of you?
Is that how low you're fucking... Like, you don't... Whatever.Whatever.So... to the theater to see it.And of course, we went to like the nine o'clock.
This fucking movie is two and a half hours, which is way too fucking long for a horror movie or a comedy.It should never be, you know, 90 minutes to like 100, whatever, to 110, but like two hours is just silly.
Of course, all Mexicans and a whole bunch of little kids in this really fucking... Why would you bring your kid to this?This is traumatizing.There's really intense jump scares and gore and mental scarification. Now, I can't stand that.
That's such a pet peeve of mine.Like, don't fucking bring that.It's so irresponsible of a fucking parent.Then why do these kids are all fucked up and end up in gangs?The little kids probably got a fucking little 38 in their popcorn fucking thing.
And they shoot the fucking... They see another gangbanger from them.Okay, so now there's this thing all the time.And you know how much I love this one.Here's another fucking pet peeve of mine.Here's another one.
So they have the little, thank you for coming to the movie.You know, Tom Cruise does this before every Mission Impossible.Thanks for coming to the movies.Let's watch Mission Impossible.You know, like this thing.
So now they have, I don't know who this girl is.Naomi Scott, is that her name?That seems to sound familiar.I probably saw her in something.I should have done the research before I saw this, but she's the fucking star of Smile 2 here.
So they have the little pre, you know, before the movie starts, she's like, whatever, fuck her accent.I don't know if she was British or something.In the movie, she's American.She doesn't have a name, but she's like,
You say much for coming to the movies, mate.I mean, what really all this shit is on 34mm?It's so great to see you all here.And she's sitting there in this fucking... The entire theater was going, what the fuck is it?
She's wearing a man's suit that is like two sizes too big for her. Like she's some kind of like Dick Tracy character.I don't know if you saw it at one of the fucking god-awful, horrendous fucking Kamala rallies in LA.
Adorable Kelly Rowland, she was always my fucking girl from Destiny's Child.She did the same thing.She showed up to endorse Kamala on the stage.And she's wearing this fucking ridiculous man's suit that is two sizes too big.
Is this a new fucking fashion trend?What is going on in the West? What the fuck is going, like fashion, why is beauty so frowned, all these girls are just fucking destroyed.
Like as unsexy and unpretty as possible, it's just, that is just a social standard that has creeped in.Beauty's lame, but don't be hot, it's stupid.
Let's look as unattractive and manly as possible while hating men and cursing toxic masculinity every fucking minute of their day. She's wearing a stupid suit.I guess it's turning into a thing.
Every fucking female comic that I come out dressed like a fucking farmer with the overalls and shit and like a grimy old hoodie.I'm like, what the fuck is going on out there?Whatever.So what does she say?So thanks for coming.
The prophetic words, my favorite.Sit back, relax, and enjoy, smile too.Oh, thank God, I was sitting on the floor.I was sitting on the floor.Thank God you told me to sit back in my seat and sit back and relax.
I was on the ground, I was in popcorn butter going up my fucking asshole, and I was getting all itchy.And I'll sit in the chair.Thank you so much, Naomi Scott, thank you.I'll sit back in my chair and relax, thank God.Thank God you're here.
And the little kids, this kid's four years old.This kid's going to go home and murder the whole fucking family after watching this.So anyways. Let me see.So again, I'm not familiar with this actress.I think one of the first shots is on her.
It's the first shot of her.If you remember, my fucking, I'm doing that thing on my face.Never mind, it's too deep of a reference, a Dune reference.
But if you remember, probably my biggest complaint, aside from it follows rip-off-ness of original smile,
is the main actress has a giant fucking mole in the middle of her face and it's every time she's on the fucking screen that's all you can look at this big distracting ugly disgusting stupid fucking eye eyeball catching gaze stealing mole on her face
I hate a fucking mole!And now this chick has one too!Smile fucking too!A big-ass mole, right on her goddamn lip.I'm like, another fucking mole!Naomi Scott, co-starring Naomi Scott.Fucking mole!Cut it off!Get rid of them, they're so, they're heinous!
Your face is 25 fucking feet tall on this screen and seven fucking feet wide!And that mole is the size of a bowling ball now!And it's all I can look at!And there's a fucking hair coming out of it! NO!THAT WAS THE SCARIEST PART!AGAIN!I'LL SMILE TOO!
THAT FUCKING MOLE! Other than that, I kind of like Smile 2.I'll be honest, I was shocked.It wasn't bad.They hit some of the same notes, but they were still able to pull it off.And I thought the ending was cute.It was a clever ending.
And another scary Smile Monster.Spoiler alert.Another fucking awesome... I love the creature design of that fucking Smile Monster when it finally... Whoa, that's fucking creepy.
The last one looked like that big, giant, scary fucking Marilyn Manson thing.This one was even fucking... Oh, God, it was scary.You don't see a cool new original.That's original, they don't have that in It Follows.
The Smile Monster is fucking awesome.That's my favorite one in quite a long time.It's my favorite thing.Really gory.I don't like slashers, I don't like gore, I don't like tons of… This one was fucking brutal.It was way worse than the last one.
Too many jump scares.I'm not a… There's no snobbier film community than horror fans.I'm a casual horror fan, but I'm really not into horror movies much.In fact, this is every, I was off yesterday, right?
I fucking just, I wanted to go to the movies so bad.I want to go in the afternoon or something.And there's just nothing but fucking Halloween movies.This whole, October, October. And then January, February are the worst months for the movies.
Like for new movies, Jan, February are the worst.For old movies, this fucking October, it's nothing but fucking Halloween movies and bullshit and all that shit.I don't fucking care about any of it.So that's all that was fucking up anywhere.
But like a big complaint of people that are passionate about horror movies, and I get it, I don't think they're wrong, is that jump scares are a cheap, easy, hacky way to scare people.They really are.
And the ones in this one are so fucking loud when they happen.I mean, I'm a big chicken shit, so if I know there's going to be a jump coming, I won't look at the screen.And the audio effect or whatever, the blat is so loud.
I still fucking jump, still jump in my seat.And there was one, oh my God, there was one, I hadn't been scared. I haven't been scared.It went from my head down to my toe.Something so scary happened that was like psychologically scary and jump scare.
It came together and I was like, oh, and it went all the way down to my fucking toes.And even she grabbed my arm.She loves this shit.She loves blood.She loves gore.She was telling me, she was like, that was fucking scary.
I was like, yeah, that was, holy fuck.
too many too often and there's a real problem with the fucking uh they this is what everyone's biggest complaint was that the unreliable narrator i don't know if you know what that is in a movie you know when you can't trust the main character who's telling you the things because they're for a myriad of reasons there you can't tell if the story is really happening and there is a fucking
way too big of one.I know it's a silly horror movie and stuff, but you're like, come on, man.You're really getting out of control.You're implementing this plot idea way fucking too much and too heavy.And it really took away from the movie.
And it really pissed a lot of people off, like totally understandably. Yeah, it wasn't bad.I actually kind of liked it.I was shocked.I was expecting to really fucking hate it.That trailer fucking sucked.
It's usually almost always the other way around in horror movies.They put all the good fucking spooks and scares in the trailer, and then you go in the movie, and that was all of them.They showed you all of them.The rest of the movie's a boring fuck.
You know, it's just like dialogue in a porno.Like, let's just get to the fucking... Who cares about all this? They already showed you all the fucking in the trailer already.So it's a bait and switch.They already got your money.You're in the theater.
Like who cares what quality, you know, of plot and character and everything else is going to be in the fucking, that's why I never like horror movies.It's just dumb.Like if you're into it just for the horror element of it, I get that.
But that doesn't do anything for me.It never really did.Two more complaints.Well, one's an observation.One's a complaint. How many fucking times have I, how often do I venerate the art of good casting?
How well, and how that really seems to have been lost in the last couple of years.The art of the casting agent of good fucking casting is just poof, poof, it disappeared.That money's gone, I spend it as you earned it.It's gone, that art is gone.
The chick that's supposed to play her mother in this movie, it was kind of a fun angle.That's why it worked.They went in a really different direction.This chick's like a very Lady Gaga ripoff pop star.
And the chick that is, the lady that plays her mom is also her manager and her mom.She looks nothing like her mom. Like not even close.They don't even look like they're the same ethnicity.The mom is so fucking lily white and like suburban nerd.
And the chick looks like vaguely South American.She's like swarthy.I was like, who the fuck has these two?
Just like in the last one, the chick is, her husband is supposed, because they have to force interracial relationships into fucking everything right now.That's the whole, that is also the new,
edict of the Marxist cabal that fucking took over all of Western culture.But her husband was the guy that played A-Train from The Boys.And not only does he suck as an actor, but they had zero fucking screen chemistry.It was so bad.
I was like, who the fuck cast this?Who put these two together?Oh man, these two sizzle on the fucking screen. They were terrible.They had nothing.They didn't seem like they were fucking... They felt like they were co-workers, if anything.
And the mom does not feel motherly or mom at all.She legit just feels like just... Why don't they just make her her manager and not her mom?It would have made no difference.It would have felt more real.Also, last thing.And this is a rare one.
I don't know.I don't think I've ever complained about this.It's pretty unusual.
There is a shot of, I mean, so much, like, you could hear people in the fucking theater, like, after 45 minutes, they were laughing, and, like, you could hear people, oh, there's more Voss.Voss drinking water.I have never seen a more blatant...
a product sponsorship snuck into, snuck, quote unquote, in a movie.There is a glass of VOSS, V-O-S-S, hey, a drinking water, drinking water in every, so she's walking around holding one.
She has a, there'll be a shot where, this is also my favorite thing, right?Even like these haunted house TV shows and stories like this where the people are like, I think my house is haunted.I started hearing bangs at night.
And then they show the recreation, right?And the character, there's one light on in the whole fucking house.There's like this dim, tiny little lamp on her fucking, on her table next to her bed.No other lights on.
The house, this woman's been experiencing a haunting thing for a month already.But in the recreation that the fucking house is so dark, there might be a walk around a candle, like Ebenezer Scrooge and shit like that.
And like, you know, this chick will be in smile, she'll be standing in her kitchen, like a real fucking wide lens, right?You see the whole kitchen. And it's kind of dark.
There'll be some kind of lights on in the background, like the little light over her stove or something.And she's standing at the fucking island of her kitchen doing whatever.
And then off on the far left side of the screen will be a little fridge full of Voss waters.But the light in the fridge is clearly on, so it's illuminated. It was so blatant, it was literally funny.People were just laughing.
She's got some psychological condition where she's like, well, my doctor told me whenever I feel a relapse coming on, I should grab water and start drinking it.So every time she'd need one, she'll go to drink it.She's about to chug it.
She'll blatantly turn the bottle so it's in front of the camera lens, so you see the Voss logo.It was hilarious.It was so fucking blatant.It was crazy. They didn't give a fuck so much that it was funny.It was like an unintentional goof.
If you drank a Voss every time you saw one of the bottles in the movie, you would have died of too much water drinking.So yeah, it's still up.If you want to go see a spook show, Smile 2.They pulled it off.It was okay.It was okay.
Shock, because I was not expecting that to happen. What do I want to go next here?Okay, I'll do this and try to stay.I got it.I got it.This one's got to be fucking tight.I got stuff to do tonight.I got to do this.
I got to go fucking do shoulders because 2024 is the year of the shoulders and I've been having tremendous shoulders workout.They really are fucking coming in like they've never.
I mean, I don't want to get you guys excited, but this might be the largest my shoulders ever been.That's really something going on here.But anyways, if you saw over this weekend, the presidential candidate, Donald Trump.
He was on Joe Rogan's podcast.It might be the most fucking downloaded episode ever, of all time, I don't know. I heard him on Theo Vaughn's podcast last month, Donald Trump, and I don't like Theo Vaughn either.Trump sucks on podcasts.
He's so boring one-on-one.He needs to be, if he's not in front of a crowd or has some kind of performance pressure on him, he is a dullard.He is really a crashing bore of a guy. And I dragged myself through the whole episode because I was excited.
I talk about this all the time.Whenever politicians, a big one, the big one's fucking right, are on a show like that, it always defaults into them just going into their political agenda.
The stuff that they're, the points that they're running on and like, And I get it.If you're on any kind of platform, especially in election year, you have to go on and give your campaign platform and stuff.
And it's basically an advertisement for what you're running for president for and why your opponent is bad.But I always want to hear them where they don't talk about that.Like, talk about you as a regular.Like, what kind of movies do you like?
What's your favorite fucking fast food restaurant?What's your... What's the last time you stubbed your toe?Give us the fucking human side because 99% of the time, all they talk about is the political shit.It's like, can we get to know you?
Tell us stuff.I always find that kind of stuff interesting, but it never happens.When Obama was on Marin, I was really hoping for that, and they didn't.They asked one fucking question about bubblegum or something like that.
Obama took over the entire episode and the entire fucking rest of the thing.I think Marin said two fucking words and Obama just went off and just used it as a fucking stump speech basically for his re-election.
So I was hoping that was going to happen and like to Joe's credit, He really tried to, he really tried to, it was so, this was so frustrating, did you hear it?I was very frustrated listening to it.
Joe is trying his ass off to wrangle fucking Trump and the guy just won't stay on topic.He can't fucking, he just constantly wanders off into all this like, Uninteresting nonsense in unnecessary detail and stuff.
And all I could think was, no wonder this, you could see why this guy does so bad in debates.They coach the shit out of him.They have mock debates for weeks.They go, if she says this, don't say this, say this.And he just does it.
You could tell, this guy just has no, he is uncoached of, for better or for worse, in some ways that's one of his good attributes, but, He's uncoachable and you can't fucking keep him on track.
And Joe, very interestingly, Joe, this is one of the ones where... Rogan's childlike curiosity about things, sometimes it's really annoying and almost embarrassing.Sometimes it's endearing, and this one it kinda was.
He wanted to know, and it's a legitimate question, and I would've liked to hear the answer to it.
He's like, what is the first day like, what is your first day as president, January 20th, whatever it is, when you start your tenure there in the White House, what's the first day like?Who comes up to you, what do they ask?
What are you supposed to do, blah, blah, blah.
He tried to ask him so many times, and I think at one point we got like, all the carpets on there are great, they've got all red carpets, I wouldn't have expected it, and the walls, and the ceiling, and he went into the architecture of the place, and he talked about the Lincoln bedroom.
But he couldn't even make that really interesting.He's just like, wow, this is a really old... I don't know.I was just hoping for more human details and a more down-to-earth explanation of what Joe was asking him.
Because that is, in a lot of ways, an interesting kind of question.And he just kind of couldn't.He was just going off all over the place in all these weird tangents and stuff.And I'm like... Trump, what the fuck?
And like, he's not, you see all these clips of him at rallies and stuff like this, and like, where's the funny, quick-witted guy that you see?
I don't know, maybe like the whole thing is boring and I just see the highlights, because I'll see clips posted on Twitter or wherever else, and like, you know, somebody yelling something and Trump having a funny, like, comeback, and like, he seems like a quick-witted and kind of fun guy, but when he's fucking one-on-one with Pacquez, he's just a fucking bore.
And he's such a weird... He's just such a frustrating, it's just the base word I keep coming back to.I've never heard anyone articulate themselves like Trump.He has such a weird way of speaking and phrasing words.
I don't know, he just doesn't seem like very... I think it's why the left hates him too, is he's just such a Luddite.He doesn't seem like a very intellectually curious guy or particularly well-versed in any kind of like...
I don't know, I don't want to sound haughty, but classic literature, nothing.The guy, he's just kind of a lug.He really is a New York lug.
Again, for better or for worse, sometimes that's a great benefit to him, and sometimes it's not, but I guess that's all.Aside from, oh, he's a rapist, and he's a racist, and all this other stuff, just his personality is like,
When he's in this setting, at least, it's kind of grating, you know?I kind of see, not like I dislike him, but then I'm thinking, like, I don't care.I don't need to, like, like the president.I know the guy can handle the job.
And he sure would be better than her as fucking president.So as long as I know the guy can handle the thing, I don't have to, like, need to want to have a beer with him.You know what I'm saying?Like, I don't really care.
But at the same time, like, it would be fun.Like, JD Vance was on, um... was on Tim Dillon.And J.D.Vance, the vice president's candidate, and he's been going around.He loves it.He goes right into the fucking hornet's nest.
He goes into enemy territory.He'll do fucking interviews.He'll go on The View.He'll go on CNN.He'll go anywhere they're around.He is not afraid of adversarial questions and stuff like that or difficult situations. And he really handles himself well.
And he's very articulate.And he's very relatable.And seems like way more of a fucking normal, relatable guy.Way more in Trump.And he was kind of funny.He'd go into his campaign stuff too on Tim Dillon.But they'd fuck around.
They would talk about football or something like this kind of shit. But yeah, it was, I mean, I was just dragging my, there wasn't not that much else on this week.I think I burned everything on Friday and there just was nothing really.
I just dragged my ass through it the whole week because I wanted to see if anything really interesting or fucking noteworthy popped off and like, it just, I was hopeful because I know Joe would take him in some kind of other direction and not let him go ramble on too much about like political stuff.
and rein him in and try to get some human stuff on like I always want.And he really tried.They tried to get him to talk about UFOs and stuff.He didn't really have much.
The best part was when he asked him about, oh boy, and you don't hear Trump do this that much.He doesn't really, he doesn't give much of a fuck.He'll talk about kind of anything.But Joe pressed him on why he didn't release.
What did he see in those JFK files and the unredacted files?And why didn't he release?He did release a good chunk of them, Trump did, because that was one of his big, his big campaign points last time.
He's like, if you get me in there, I'll release everything about JFK.I can't do a Trump in private.I wish I could.And he did it.And Joe asked Trump about it, and he was so fucking evasive.Again, Joe's childlike, or maybe not so.I don't know.
Joe just seemed to be like, yeah, yeah, but why didn't you put him out?You said you were going to put him out.What did you see?Did they threaten you with something?He's like, no, there was just people that could still be alive, so we couldn't.
People told me I shouldn't, and I kind of listened to them, and there was things in it. It was funny.He did not want to answer that one.It's like, what the fuck does he know?What do they tell you?
There's that classic, I was never a fan of the guy, but I always hear people reference it.The one they all say Dennis Leary ripped off, but I don't give a shit because he was dead before Dennis Leary came out anyway.
So I only knew Dennis Leary and I loved him.And No Cure for Cancer is one of my favorite fucking comedy specials of all time.I know the whole thing fucking by heart. What's his name?The guy that was always smoking and he died of the fuck.
Everybody loves him.You know what I'm talking about, right?The guy, it was kind of like, he came, he was around this time Sam Kenison.He was like political.I'm going to look it up.Give me a second. Bill Hicks, Hicks, Hicks, that guy.
He had that, he's like, you know when they, when you're president on day one, they come in and the first thing they do is they show you an alternate angle of the Zapruder film where it shows the fucking president, like the CIA blowing on his head off or something like that, and they're just like, I'm fucking this bit all up.
It's something like that, but it's like, you don't do what we say, you're gonna end up like fucking this.Here you go, here's the other angle kind of fucking thing.But that was interesting that he didn't want to talk about that.
Yeah, so it was, I don't know, what did you think?I wasn't, God, and he's, okay, two more things.He's so endlessly self-aggrandizing, like everything he does, he's so off-putting in a lot of ways.These are bad for him.
He's better when he's, or he's better even in adversarial interviews, like when he goes on like ABC or something like that, like that one that he had, sir, sir, sir, around 2020, like Leslie Stahl, that fucking idiot, when she was like, every single thing she did, she would just go,
That didn't happen.Mr. President, that's not true.She turned into Andy Rooney all of a sudden, but the Russian laptop or the Hunter Biden's laptop story wasn't a cover-up by the government.
No one was silencing people on social media from even talking about it.No, that didn't affect the election at all.Sure it didn't.Everything, the fucking Russian collusion of, sir, sir, that didn't happen.Every single thing he said in that interview,
Not only was it proven to happen, but on page 12 of the newspaper three years later, they all eventually admitted, yeah, he was a quietly because they have to keep their fucking media integrity.They would admit that, yeah, he was right.
Years later, after nobody gives a shit and everything else, but the usual nonsense. Every season, you know, they told me, everyone said, uh, you know, they, they never saw a plan like this.It was, it was the greatest plan they ever saw.
And the one I put in, and no one ever thought to do that.And I did just everything, everything he says.And the one thing that drove me nuts, did you pick this up?He was incapable of recalling a story of, of somebody.Is it over here?
Every episode, right?Oh, that's a plane.That's a plane flying over. Um, without saying, sir, like every call me, sir.God damn it.Every fucking story.And I went into the, in the, in the general said, sir, we can't do that, sir.And I said, why not?
And he said, sir, because no one's every, I'm telling you, I think every single story he recalled, began and ended with sir, no matter who was talking to him, a military guy, another politician, anybody.It was all, it was really weird.
I was like, are you obsessed with people calling you sir?I don't know.What was the point of that tirade?I don't know.Like I, in general, I kind of liked the guy.Obviously I, given the fucking, I was a fucking DeSantis man.That was my guy.
I think he was the fucking best candidate.I think we'd be in great hands if that fucking guy was in charge.He's very level-headed and pragmatic and smart and common sense fucking, um, Smart, circumspect.God fucking well he handles Florida, the guy.
I think he could handle the country, I think he'd be great, but doesn't have enough pizzazz in his personality.And then we had Trump's Madison Square Garden Nazi, the Nazi rally, all the Nazis got together again.
And then they had the, I'm sure you heard, the joke heard around the world, the Tony Hinchcliffe, Puerto Rico joke, Luke were you, you know what I was most offended by?
How fucking lame and amateur that set was from fucking, I'm sitting there, I watched the whole thing, it was like 12, too long, 12 minutes.And they were like, open mic fucking level, he had three or four good ones, but like,
He was like half bombing through it.He's getting groans.He's getting silence.He's like, oh, wow I'm trying to you guys are not on board with that one.He's trying to like Like reposition himself monster.
He really I know it's a tough gig even he said he goes It's tough to come up here and follow the band or whatever now, but it's like you've been doing this this long You shouldn't have to say that out loud.
You shouldn't really have to acknowledge it It was really it was really amateurish coming from him because he's a fucking He's a great joke writer.I was getting ready for some great shit and it really was like, wow.
I was surprised that was really low-level shit coming out of him, but the fake outrage over the fucking joke, the stupid fucking care of people, any excuse to...
God, the goalposts have been fucking moved so far back when it comes to any kind of, the only humor that is allowed in popular culture is a white people are stupid and America bad, der her.That's the comedy.
Turn on any fucking late night show, turn on SNL, it's all you get.America's stupid, Americans are stupid, white people are fucking stupid.You dare even make a fucking joke about another country.It's like...
They carried on as if Tony, like, literally, they brought a button on stage and said, Tony, if you push this button, you will nuke Puerto Rico right now.And he thought, and just pressed the shit out of the button.
Like, this is the level of, like, of vitriol they think Tony had.It's ridiculous.Like, you can't make a joke about anything.If you're white, you cannot make a fucking joke about anything or anyone.And that's, I'm almost done here.
I'll move on from the political shit.
That next day, the Monday after, today's Wednesday, yeah, two days ago, it was, I never in my fucking life, aside from maybe the day fucking Trump won the election in 2016, I have never seen a liberal meltdown online like this. in my fucking life.
The Rogan interview, with all the numbers that it got, and the fact that he fucking sold, not only sold out Madison Square Garden, 70,000 people, in the most fucking, aside from what, LA or like Portland, like the most liberal city in America, that he had this massive crowd, the entire fucking streets were filled
with fucking Trump support.And he went in the heart of enemy territory.And they know they're in fucking trouble.They're fucked.Their campaign, they are not doing well.The whole thing is falling apart for the Dems.
They played all their cards right this time.Trump's running a way better fucking campaign.He's way more disciplined.It seemed like he kind of learned from his mistake, but he's handling stuff so much better than he did in 2020.
There was so much stuff they were doing.I'm like, are you out of your fucking mind?But he's really had a lot more self-control this time around. So they were freaking out about that, but like...
Twitter slash X has become the full repository of the right, pretty much, or just regular people that don't even care about politics that much, where they can just go and talk about things and not have to worry about being censored about every little fucking thing that they say, and Reddit has now, they have gone full nuclear fucking, I mean, they fucking, the mods that run it and the overwhelming majority of people that are on it, all they wanna do is go there and complain about fucking politics, and every
I mean, you could go to our sewing.I could go to a thing to watch sewing.And the whole fucking subreddit is all Trump and politics and Republicans are Nazis and everyone's fucking racist and posts.
Every fucking sub, no matter how non-political it was, no matter how much of a reach it was, it would have nothing to do with the topic at hand.And they would still, I mean, they went full fucking force.
Now, a lot of people say there's a lot of bots.There's a lot of Russian bots and stuff like that that are overseeing accounts that go on there and they're paid political propaganda shill.They're not even real people.
They're like bot farms and stuff like this that post all these.Well, it's all the left doing it.It's all the bots that do their bidding.So it's overwhelming with posts, but it was Fuck, I got kicked off there.I got permanently banned.
Again, like for nothing.I was bored at work and I had too much coffee and I just fucking battled people all day.I mean, these people really, like you say this like obliquely or cheekily, like when you say, dude, that guy lost his mind.
These people have lost their mind. The stuff they're saying, the stuff they actually think and think is going to happen is crazy people talk.They have lost all fucking touch and connection with reality.It's complete... It's fantasy.
They're in a fantasy world where they think they're the Rebel Alliance and literal Darth Vader and Stormtroopers are coming.It's unbelievable.They're like children.They're talking to children.
They're talking to adolescent fucking... I mean, some of them probably literally are.There's people like 13, but like... I just, I don't know how we come back from this.I really don't.
I don't know how a country this profoundly fucking divided could ever get it back again.It's just these people are so far gone. And they keep getting more far gone.They just keep getting worse.
I mean, you look at where they were four years ago and look at now.I mean, the stuff they're saying, it's just like, they think they're going to be arrested.They think like goon squads are going to come.
You know, if they catch you watching fucking Stephen Colbert and put you in shackles and put a fucking potato cloth over your head and take you to an internment camp.They literally think this stuff.It's fucking insane.So that was that.
Yeah, I was more pissed off at the The bad writing, very amateurish writing, Tony said.Because the guy's so good.He's so fucking funny.He comes up with the best.You saw him at the fucking Tom Brady roast earlier this year.
That was like his coronation.He was fucking half a household name the next day.And now after this one. That was my other fear.These people are so fucking... They lack such a bit.They're like, Tony's fucking done.This is the end of this guy's career.
I'm like, you couldn't pay for this level of fucking free advertising.This guy got worldwide fucking press.He is now a fucking household name.I mean, for better or for worse, but they say... No such thing as bad breath.
They're all going to remember him for that.And then he came to do what they hired him to do, to come and tell offensive jokes.Like, yeah, this is really going to hurt his career.Because they wanted it to be true.
They wanted to manifest this so bad to laugh.They couldn't wait to be like the Tony backlash that was careers old.And my favorite was like some rumor going around.They were like,
He was supposed to sign a Netflix deal, and I heard they just totally scuttled it.I'm like, oh yeah, I know he's going to be so hurt with his National Arena fucking tour for Kill Tony that's sold out in almost every city.
He goes, oh boy, he's going to be dead without that Netflix deal.What's he going to do?You guys completely love or hate him, and he's a very hateable little fuck. But he's so funny, I can't deny how talented the guy is.He just makes me laugh.
And even to John Stewart's credit, even he came out of order.He's like, I can't help it, because I know it's offensive, it's terrible, and he's Trump, and I shouldn't.But I just think the guy's funny.I love him.He's like, I'm a comedian.
I think Tony's funny.He said that on The Daily Show.It was pretty amazing. You gotta give him that.He's funny and he did what they, do as I command you.He did what he was supposed to do.
So, yes, Monday was like, that was Black Monday for the fucking left.I've never seen anything like that.I mean, they fucking were going everywhere, all over the, they could not help.They couldn't clutch their pearls fast enough.
They could not virtual signal hard enough.They could not let everybody know how offended they were on behalf of, Insert hurt group here.
I got this time Puerto Ricans like holy shit over just such a dumb throwaway job fucking cares like he didn't say the Puerto Ricans fuck their daughters or something Floating garbage in the fucking shut the fuck up.It's just opportunity for them.
They just they love that stuff It's just ammunition for these all these fucking fake outrage leftist What else we got here?So, okay, I uh I
I took a trip over to, okay, so motorcycle thoughts, riding around this town a lot on my bike, thinking about stuff, thinking like I'm Abe Lincoln.And I had a thought recently, what do you want on your tombstone?
I think I've talked about this on the show before.I want something fun or funny or memorable or something on my fucking tombstone.It got me thinking about it.I always... The one I always go to is Rodney Dangerfield.
It has my favorite, the funniest, the best fucking tombstone I've ever seen.It's There Goes the Neighborhood.That's what he put on his fucking tombstone.Even dead, he's fucking funny.I'm like, that's fucking perfect.I want something like that.
I couldn't think of anything anyways. And then I had this on my list for a while, because I'm really just struggling to finish this fucking last episode and everything else.
And I said, I want to go see fucking, I want to go be near Marilyn Monroe's bones.She's buried not far from here.Why don't I go check out her fucking grave?And I don't know, see if that knocks anything loose.
So I'd been meaning to go to this place for a while, because I'd only heard about it.And I know at the very least, her, Marilyn's crypt, and Rodney's gravestone were there.
And it's this little cemetery called Pierce Brothers, Westwood Village Cemetery.And it's right, it's over by the UCLA campus.I heard about it forever, because it used to be behind where the Avco theaters were.
There was these movie theaters there that were on Wilshire.Real busy, near Wilshire and Veteran, a real fucking busy part. Over there in Beverly Hills.So there's like nope.I got real lucky.
I found a fucking meter parking spot So I parked and I walk and I can't fucking Schwartz is all twisted here It's I'll put some pictures of this on the I mean just of like the size of this graveyard It's like the size of a football field.
It's this little fucking area right with these and I walk around and I had no idea that
this many fucking Hollywood luminaries are buried in this small, there has to be more dead, super famous people per fucking square inch in this cemetery than any other fucking plot of land on the entire planet.
I was astounded, like you couldn't walk five feet and going like, holy shit, he's here.And they all had like cool, funny or interesting, it was a whole, it's the best fucking graveyard in the world.
I'm telling you, if you ever come to LA, you fucking gotta see this Pierce Brothers, I mean, if you're an old Hollywood shit, it's fucking awesome. So I walk right over to honey pies grave.I forgot that that Hugh Hefner Is buried right next to her.
That's funny Hugh Hefner is buried next to her and I So she's got a little flower pot, and you probably heard the famous story that Joe DiMaggio, for 20 years after her death, sent flowers to her.I don't know, I've heard different.
I heard every single week he kept sending her flowers.And I guess to his one eyedropper drop full of credit to him because he fucking treated her terribly and beat the shit out of her.I hate this fucking guy.
Everything I read about him, his whole time in Maryland, And they were kind of like the love of each other's lives, all things considered.But the guy was such a fucking piece of shit.And just such a walking negative Italian.Jealous.
What are you looking at that guy for?Slap him around.Just a fucking douchebag asshole.But he sent her flowers and he said he felt so terrible about how he treated her.He had so much regret after she died.
that he didn't treat her better when he had her and stuff like that.So, anyways, there, I'll put a picture of this on there too.There's lipstick kisses all over her fucking, her crib.Crib, get a tomb, whatever the fuck.
And it's just, you know, it's a morbid thought, but you go like, this fucking chick is so famous, like her body's in here.Like this is like the actual, that's like what's left of her.Like this is a real person and there's what's left of her.
Because like these people, when they're that famous, they almost seem like fake, you know what I mean?It's like Jesus or something. What do you do with Jesus's bones or something?
Like they're just so famous they don't even seem like they ever really, that they were ever like a real person or something.You know what I'm saying?They're so iconic.
You're like, oh yeah, no, they were a regular person and they died just like we died and there she is.There's her death fucking whatever.So I was thinking about it and like,
There was this handful of people, but man, her fucking grave, there was a non-stop people.Still to this day, coming in, everyone that came through there went to her fucking grave.She must have at least 20 people walk up and check it out.
But I was just like, help me get my thing made.And just to have like a thought or be like, yo, help.And I put my fucking hand on the fucking... on the marble of the tomb, and it moved in the housing.It was like loose.I was like, oh.
I was like, what the fuck?It moved?I'm like, can I just pull this off and pull the fucking cough?What the fuck is going on here?It wasn't even sealed in the fucking frame.It was really weird.
It was so weird that the fucking whole stone and thing moved.I was not expecting that.I was like, ah.But yeah, that was cool.Go pay respect to the fucking whore.I was a police servant.Because I'm writing the whole thing about her. So that was cool.
And here's another thing.So, I don't know, I've been in a grave yard in a while.A lot of Jews buried there.I don't know if there's a Jew thing.Tons of fucking Jews.
Every fucking... So there's a big grass part in the middle with tons of little graves in it.Then there are Peter graves, probably fucking buried there.And then on the... Let's see if I'm facing straight ahead.
To my right, along the edge, are raised real prominent tombstones.That's over where Rodney Dangerfield is and a whole fucking litany of other people.In the middle is the grass with the flat laying down on the ground type graves, you know?
And then to the left, the whole wall, where Marilyn is and stuff, it's all like crypts and tombs.You can just walk into it, but they're like tombs.She had a full-sized, casket-sized, body-sized tomb.
But then there was like a shitload of ones that looked like a little like banker's box.Like these little tiny, like, you know, like, I don't know, 12 foot by 12 foot little fucking slots.And I'm like, what's it, were they cremated?
Like what's in there?And if they were, what was the point of giving them this fucking crypt tomb kind of thing?Like it was really, I don't get how that works.I don't know if that was like a Jew thing.
Obviously a body couldn't fit in this thing, so I don't know what was in there or what the purpose was, or maybe there was nothing and it was just a stone with their name remembered on it, but I want the body to be there.
I don't know, that was weird, but anyways. I'm walking out and like every five feet I'm going, holy shit, holy shit, like all these fucking people.
And a ton of them had fucking funny, great, what was the second best one to Rodney Dangerfield, there goes the neighborhood.And just a few graves over is Merv Griffin.I won't be back after these messages. That's fucking great!That's fucking great!
It's funny, forever, for all time, people come and see your fucking tombstone and go, oh, that's clever.I want that.I want to be remembered for being a kook like that.I want a good one, so I was trying to think of that.
Fucking Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon, both, they're like 10 fucking yards from each other.They're both, oh my, do their ghosts come out at night and fucking hang out?Kirk Douglas, hang on, here's a list of everyone.
It's a fucking tiny little cemetery.Aside from Marilyn Monroe, Jack Lemmon, Walter Matthau, Billy Wilder, Carol O'Connor, you know, from All in the Family, Carl Malden, Sam Simon from The Simpsons, Ryan O'Neal and Farrah Fawcett had a grave together.
Were they a thing?I mean, like, I'm somewhat well-versed in, like, 70s cinema stuff.I didn't know they were, like, an item.I never heard that in my life, but, like, they're buried together.
Kirk Douglas and his wife, Dean Martin, John Cassavetes, Peter Falk, Frank Zappa, fucking Don Knotts, Irwin Winkler.Yeah, I think that was most of them, but oh my God.
And then the Billy Wilder one fucking broke my heart because it's his, he goes, I'm a writer, but then nobody's perfect.That's what his grave says.
And he was a famous, now him and Jack Lemmon together were, they direct, they were all in, they all put together a, Um, what the fuck's a famous Marilyn Monroe movie?Like they're all buried like within fucking 20 yards of each other.It's funny.
They're all, they're all part of Billy Wilder directed it.And then she was the, the one where they dress up like the chicks.Some like it hot.There's like the half the fucking cast of some like it hot or all there together.
Billy Wilder fucking hated her, but she, she gave him a lot of trouble.So he was a real, no nonsense, like German, whatever those, you know, those old studio directors like, uh, like, uh, John, um, John Ford, that just didn't take any shit.
You know, they're like, shut the fuck up.And he just had like a. He just all smoked a pipe and smacked you around if you ever gave him any trouble. But then right next to Billy Wilder's grave was his wife.
It was almost like one of those little benches you could sit down on, like Guild of Wilder or something like that.Her grave is right next to his, and on hers it says, I'm right here, Billy, in quotes.I was like, oh, God, that kind of shit.
I got a little of a clout.That shit gets me.I don't know.I remember reading in Wikipedia or something like that that George Burns, his wife Gracie Allen, they were together for like fucking 50 years or whatever it was.
She died before him, and they said he wanted to get a fucking tomb with them together.And he said, how do you want it set up?He goes, I want her on top of me so that she always has top billing.And I was like, oh, no.I got all fucking choked up.
That was like the sweetest fucking thing I ever read. Anyways, yeah, holy shit.Fucking hell of a cemetery.It was really pretty fucking interesting.Full of... I guess they just spoiled it for you, so there's no point in going.
Because that was half the surprise, just walking around every 10 feet and going like, oh my God, him!Holy shit, her!Oh my God, this fucking... Erwin Winkler isn't dead.How fucking disturbing is this?He's not dead yet.He's like 93, a famous producer.
You know, they made like Raging Bull and Rocky and all these things.And Vinnie and Pat used to caddy for the city.It was really nice.Fucking nice guy, but...
Yeah, really fucking famous producer, did a lot of Scorsese's early movies, but I think he did Goodfellas too.His wife is buried there and his name is on there, but the years aren't on there because he's not.
But just like knowing, like you're driving around LA right now, you're 93, and just thinking about there's already a grave with your name on it. and you're 93, how much time do you think is gonna go by before you're dead?
Would you go to that grave to visit your wife and go, I'm gonna be there really fucking soon.I'm alive walking around on the earth right now, and in a pretty short order of time, I'm gonna be under the fucking ground there dead in this fucking grave.
That's a lot of fucking creepy mortality to give to a person, is it not?So that was that. What else here?Baby, bop, bop, boo, bop, bee.Oh, fucking... Smile, too.I did that.Yeah.
Okay, I guess I'll touch on this real quick and we'll get the fuck out of here.Okay.Now, if you've been listening to the show and you know me, I complain about the same fucking things over and over.I really don't know why you're here.Thank you.
I'm glad you're listening. And this is one I will give myself a lot of credit for.I was way ahead of the curve on this.Mariah Carey's Christmas song sucks.All I want for Christmas is you.It gets dragged out.
And I have been there since the fucking day that song came out.I have been tortured.
It always makes you think of the school, being on the fucking bus at school, when we got newer school buses, and then they had speakers in them, and we would listen to fucking Janet, Nick, and Weez in the morning, Kiss 98.5, this shit soccer mom morning zoo crap that I would have to fucking sit in.
This is why I liked ONA so much, because they hated that shit so much, and I was like, thank God someone else recognizes this.I thought I was alone in the desert until these guys came on and were like, this is garbage radio. They had Jocktober.
Jocktober fucking ruled.That was the best.They would go around the country every day, and they would feature a new fucking hack radio show, and they would play clips of it and fucking make fun of it.Oh, it was fucking great.
But anyways, probably the best thing they ever did on that show. But that song would come on, the bus would be freezing.I wouldn't want to be going to school anyway or on the bus.And now I got to listen to this fucking Mariah Carey song.
And I've been talking about that for decades, decades.In the last couple of years, have you noticed this?It's really becoming a popular trend.
To start, there's all the memes, they're like, you know, as soon as Halloween's over, they're like, oh, we're almost in Mariah Carey season.
And there's a lot of memes and stuff and popular sentiment that people fucking hate her and her Christmas music.And I was way the fuck ahead of this.And I just, I want credit.I don't know if you've seen it, but I'm telling you, it's out there.
And I was the chief fucking purveyor of the sentiment for many years. And as I tell you this right now, we have a huge camera.It was actually a pretty good fucking chunk of change for us, because it's been fucking slow this month.
Well, they just picked up a fourth fucking camera yesterday when I had the day off.And it just came back today, a fourth camera.Guess what they're fucking shooting?And we shot one last year, too, around this time.
A Mariah Carey Christmas fucking music video.Two day shoot with four fucking cameras.This massive shoot.I mean you should have seen the fucking truck that pulled up.Like one of those big ass 10 ton studio trucks.And it was full of camera gear.
Like who needs this much camera gear to shoot a fucking Mariah Carey video?Who even likes her anymore? And then the other dude that works here went to do a set visit yesterday to watch them shoot.And he's like, she's still fucking hot.She looks good.
I was like, really?He's like, yeah, she's fucking beautiful.It's like, wow, I've never seen her in person.I always thought she was, I mean, really going out on a limb here to tell you Mariah Carey's hot.
She was always, remember the peak of her hotness was like 98 or 99 when she had Honey.Remember that song, Honey?That stupid, that song. the video, she's wearing like a flesh-colored bathing suit.And she almost, remember, she's on the jet skis.
And for like no reason at all, it was the most random casting in history.There's supposed to be like two agent-type people chasing her around on the jet skis.And one of them is Frank Rizzo from the Jerky Boys.
And the other one is fucking, is Carbone from Goodfellas.Like, what the fuck?These two?It was so weird.God, she was so fucking hot.I think I might have fucking whacked off today, once or twice.But, you know, pre-internet age.
So there's that one, there's that one where Luke Starr was ahead of the complaining curve on.Another one is, have you seen, a bunch of people sent me this clip. Apparently, I didn't know Kate Blanchett, the actress, was such a sport.
She really seemed like a sport.She just seemed like a gal that she'd be fun to throw a beer back with and wouldn't give a shit.
I always thought she would be some kind of like... I don't know, there's all these... After someone showed me this, I don't know, I saw a whole bunch of other... I'm not on TikTok, but people put a little TikTok thing together.
They just pop up or whatever or even there's a couple on YouTube of her just like she didn't seem to give a fuck She'll just kind of go off on anything.
She's she seems like kind of fun in the same way because she's British and you know, she comes from classical Acting and theater and stage and stuff kind of like a Gary Oldman is the same way You think they'd be these kind of pretentious wankers up when they're off like I'll think the method acting what I really you know all this nonsense, but like now who gives a shit like they're just they're just regular straight shooting and
I don't know, they seem like it, maybe I just, these are just montages of the few times she's ever been like that, and they put it together to make it seem like she does that.I don't fucking know!
But someone sent me this one of her, they're like, have you seen this fucking montage of Cate Blanchett? complaining about leaf blowers.She hates leaf blowers.
And there's this collection of her talking across like several different interviews and talk shows and everything else.
Just like seemingly totally randomly just going, just complaining about fucking leaf blowers because she has a profound, very Luke-like hatred of them.It was really something.So I couldn't get... I can't get the fucking, I hate having to do this.
So this audio, it's maybe like a minute long.So I had to record it off my phone speakers because I couldn't get the actual, I couldn't download the data because it's only on TikTok and there's no way to drag that.
I can't get the auto to drag into the editing software I use for this fucking show.So I had to take it right out of the phone.So it probably sounds like shit.And maybe it's like a minute long.
So if it's a noise, you just hit the 30 second jump thing a couple of times.But here she is complaining about leaf blowers here for a minute.
I don't understand leaf blowers, and I don't understand golf.Leaf blowers?
If I see a leaf blower, I will... Leaf blowers?I go from naught to a thousand.I blow leaves from one place to another.You blow leaves from one side of the pavement to the other side of the pavement.
Only for them to be blown back again, and then you go and blow them again.To have the wind go and blow them back in the first place.
I just, I cannot.It's all is wrong with the human race.
I could be here for three hours talking to you about leaf blowers.They drive me nuts.I hate them so much.Gardeners, their faces, they know that what they're doing is stupid.
I'm like a barking dog, like a loose squirrel.If I see a leaf blower, that's it.I'm gone for the rest of the afternoon.
It's like, what happens to the broom?I hate leaf blowers so much.
Does anyone use a broom anymore? What I said, use a fucking broom and a dustpan.I didn't want to use a broom anymore, and a dustpan.What the fuck with this shit?The other day I was driving to...
I was driving to work in the morning, and I get to the end of my street, and I swear to you, I'm not kidding, you think I'm making this up, there's a guy with a fucking leaf blower, and we got these trees, and they have these just fucking giant, we got all kinds of cool exotic trees on here, I'll give us that, it's kind of cool, like magnolia fucking trees, the leaves, they look and feel like they're plastic, they really are exotic weird-ass trees.
And there's some tree at the end of the street with these big-ass fucking leaves that fell all over the ground.It's like 7, 8 in the morning.And the guy is in the street.For the life of me, I can't figure out the mentality behind this.
And he was blowing the leaves from the street back onto the grass on the side of the apartment.He was blowing them off the street back onto the grass under the tree.I'm like, what the f... Not even going to ask.
I'm just going to keep writing and pretend I didn't fucking see that.I swear to you, I swear on my fucking kids that that happened.
And then, of course, conversely, almost like, I think that clip might be a little old, but just a few days ago, I don't know if you're familiar with the really extreme far-right publication, The Atlantic.
If I couldn't hate The Atlantic enough, you know what article they put out a couple of days ago? An article, an editorial that's titled, In Defense of Leaf.
In defense of leaf blowers, of course, there's a far left fucking activist radical fucking magazine.Of course, these fucking nimrods, they were wrong about everything imaginable.
Support leaf blowers and want them to, I would have like taken excerpts and clipped them, but you have to, of course, because they're struggling.
They're struggling because everyone's tired of all this shit and this far left sentiment and complete nonsense and lack of, All intelligence or common sense.So now they're desperate for you to pay.
I have to pay to read an article about how you like leaf blowers.So I couldn't read it.So, I don't know.I just, I found it.
I love the yin and the yang that she, this seemingly smart and in touch with reality actress has the wisdom to hate the leaf blowers.And these far left fucking retards actually enjoy them and want them around.Of course you do.Of course you do. Woo!
Well, that was episode 472.I hope you have a terrific Halloween and get out there and have fun and trick-or-treat and be a goose.Look at hot chicks in their slutty outfits.That's always the fucking best.Maybe I will go out shit tomorrow.
I'll just go out and see some fucking... I don't know.Triffids, Norma Jean.
This is the real me! I don't accept fear as a liar But I've been told I can't die alive So trust us with your life Nothing but another world is coming As soon as we have enough provisions Plus management
Now I'm assigned to the walls of your bunker But by longing I know that I feel the same way Now I'm down the steps down the ladder But I've been told no one gets out alive So trust us we've got life This is a rubbish This is a rubbish
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