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When I stumbled upon an old box full of VHS tapes and police reports, I didn't expect to uncover connections to several unsolved murders near my hometown.
I've been investigating how these murders could be connected to a group called the Lords of Death.Check out this clip from the show.
So Tim had a tattoo on his arm that was just letters.It said LOD.And I asked Mick what LOD stood for.And I was told it stood for Lords of Death.So I asked, you know, for the meaning behind it.And only a couple people had the tattoo, apparently.
And in order to get the tattoo, you had to take someone's soul, as in murder someone, is what I was told. But it never really clicked with me that it was like, they were really the Lords of Death.
I could just see them being like, yeah, cool, we're the Lords of Death, and it really meaning nothing is how I looked at it.But I was wrong.It meant a lot.
I'm Thrasher Banks, host of the new Tenderfoot TV podcast, Lords of Death.For an ad-free binge, subscribe to Tenderfoot Plus at tenderfootplus.com.
Hey listeners, Jon Street here from the Tenderfoot team.As you may know, many of Tenderfoot's shows have topped the charts over the years.Actually, we've had over a dozen number one shows since we started back in 2016.
And that's thanks to you, our listeners.But have you ever wondered what it takes to make a successful podcast?Or what the journey's like for creators?Sometimes shows start slow and steady.
Then next thing you know, they're reaching millions of listeners and making a real difference. and often they gain momentum overnight.So what's the secret?Is it hard work?Sheer luck?Maybe some of both?
Well, our team recently attended CrimeCon 2024 in Nashville, and I sat down with Payne Lindsay of Up and Vanished, Dennis Cooper of Culpable, and Liam Luxon of Status Untraced, and they talked about their experience as first-time hosts who created a number one show.
And what they share might surprise you.Enjoy the conversation.
Okay, we made it.We did.We did.We're here.We're all here.Thanks for doing this, guys.Hey!We have our diehard fans here.Thank you.Thank you for joining us.
We are at a place unlike anything else I've ever been to, the Gaylord Opryland.Like, first I want to get everybody's thoughts on this place.It's a very unique venue.Yeah.Thoughts?
Have you ever seen the movie Biodome?Yes.I have.
Reminds me of that where it's it's a pretend outside and for a moment the illusion can can trick you and Then like in a brief moment later, you're like, holy shit I'm actually inside then you you had this weird panic and you're like wait, it's still cool There's a waterfall, but I don't think you can spend more than three days in here without completely losing your mind No, other than that is beautiful.
So we're here at crime con pain Have you been to every crime con?
Maybe.It definitely feels like I have.I'll just go ahead and say yes to that.All right.Hard yes from Payne.I worded the first one.I know that.Okay.
Which was where?It was in Indianapolis.Okay.Yep.And the second one was here, right?
They all kind of blur together.
With other conferences in between, I'm like, was that CrimeCon?Was that another thing?I don't know.But I've definitely been here before for CrimeCon, I believe.Right, Mike?Right?Yeah.So now it feels just like a deja vu thing.Yeah, it does.
All right, so we're here to talk about number one shows.So obviously each of you have a different show that you've kind of pioneered, created.Payne, everybody knows Payne.Liam, why don't you take a second to introduce yourself and the show?Sure.
Yeah, so my name's Liam Luxon.My show is called Status Untraced.It's about a nomadic traveler. who went missing under extremely suspicious circumstances in India.He wasn't just like a nomadic traveler, though.He was an extremely trained survivalist.
One of the last things he ever said was, I should be back mid-September.If I'm not back by then, don't come looking for me, and then disappeared soon afterwards.
You could call him the lead suspect, was arrested, and three weeks, spent three weeks in jail, and about three days before he was released, was found hanging in his jail cell.And that was, yeah, that's kind of, that's the baseline of the story.
But there's a 10-episode series on it called Status Untraced, which is out now.And took four years to make, yeah.
Took four years to make, and it's incredible, and it's a deep-dive investigative story, and it's his very first podcast, and it actually went number one.Dennis, what you got?
Oh, my intro.Yeah, I'm Dennis Cooper.I'm from Louisville, Kentucky, where I live with my wife and four kids.And in 2019, I got into podcasting and created a podcast called Culpable.
We covered the suspicious death of Christian Andreacchio, a 21-year-old in Meridian, Mississippi. We did a second season out of a small town, Brown County, Ohio.
We covered the case of a young pregnant mother of one who was killed while driving on the highway headed to her father's birthday.And from there, we've launched our case review series where we are covering more cases in less episodes.
So just doing one episode per case.And then I'm in the middle of working on season three of Cold War right now.
So we're here at CrimeCon, an entire conference dedicated to the genre of true crime.So I'm curious from each one of you, how long have you been a true crime fan?Like, what was that journey like for you?
For me, I mean, I think the the the moniker true crime has kind of become something more representative of a larger genre that's existed for a while.I mean, going back to Unsolved Mysteries.I mean, I used to love that as a kid.
It scared the shit out of me.But my mom let me watch Unsolved Mysteries.And I've always been fascinated by things that are unsolved, things that we can't explain or figure out. I mean, you could go back to like an Agatha Christie book.
It's just the suspense of not knowing and just, to me, that bothers me and it gets this little curiosity bug in my brain going.And so for me, it's always been about solving a mystery and telling that story.
And so in 2016, when I made Up and Vanish season one, I took a new approach and I made a podcast where I was going to personally go investigate an unsolved missing persons case, which at the time I had no real business doing.
And that's really ultimately why I'm here today, was just kind of taking a leap out of my comfort zone.And, you know, for those who don't know me personally, or like what would maybe drive me, it never really is about the
the nitty gritty true crime parts of it.It's not about the forensics.It's not about, you know, these are all interesting things to me, but it's to me, it's about who the hell did it or what, what happened in like that part of it drives me.
And as I've kind of grown into my shoes a little bit more, I've just tried to push the envelope more there because I feel like it's more authentic to me and it's what I have more control over.
If there's a suspect to a murder case and I know where they live, well, I could go knock on their door.And so that's kind of where I'm at.But true crime is, I think, a little bit different to everybody.
But I think at the end of the day, I think that people are curious.They want to know why people do fucked up shit. and they want to learn from it, and it's okay to have a little bit of a morbid curiosity.
I think if you don't have that, then maybe you're one of the people who's killing people out here.
I agree with that.He's like Touche.Pretty much all of that is true for me.I've always been really inquisitive.I've been very curious.Status Untraced and the disappearance of Justin Alexander Shetlar for me was... Justin himself was so fascinating.
He was this guy that gave up everything he owned and already lived all these crazy adventurous lives of being, you know, Crossing the Himalayas and flip-flops or becoming a monk or living with indigenous tribes and that's unique to you though, right?
Because not every true crime story you you felt connected to the way he lived his life I well in the fact that I had always aspired to do things like that not that I had done things like that so to me it was kind of like that childhood hero that I grew up wanting to be you know, and I
The mystery of what happened to him was so fascinating.There were so many different things that were just so odd about his disappearance that I immediately felt like I had to know what happened.I think that it was my draw to true crime originally.
I guess it still is, too.Yeah.
I've always been into true crime as far as I can remember.My parents were both into it, so it was always on the TV growing up.Like Forensic Files and stuff or what?Yeah, Forensic Files.
They were more like Dateline, 2020, you know, those specials when they were on.But a little bit of Forensic Files, Unsolved Mysteries, like you mentioned, one of my favorite shows to this date.I still rewatch them. Oh yeah, great to watch.
Oh, so good.It's so good.
And then when I met my wife, she was an even bigger true crime fan than I was, so then all of a sudden I went from like watching sports at nighttime to like we'd fall asleep with like forensic files on the TV because, you know, it's just, if that's what you want to watch.
So it's just, I've just always been around and always had an interest but didn't anticipate
doing a podcast about it, but it's like you both hit on, like, you find that story and your heart's just in it and you're just so, you know, you're just so wrapped up in it and just want to get answers, like, just want to make sense of this problem.
Like Payne said, I think we all have a little bit of a problem solver in us and want to fix injustices and things that we see wrong.
So yeah, doing that was really cool because it was something I think I always envisioned was like being a creative and maybe even specifically in the true crime space. But I didn't put in the work to do it.I didn't go to school for it.
I didn't try to go make it happen.It just- Or like, how do you do that, right?I don't know.Exactly, right?You just do it.You just do it, yeah.Nike, you know?Yeah, but the stars aligned and here I am.
So I'm curious, why podcasting?And Payne, specifically for you, well I guess Liam, you too, because you both come from more of a film background.
So why is podcasting the platform that you were like, yeah, I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna take it to podcasting and I feel like that's the right way?
I was at the point in my life and career where I was dead broke and I had just finished binging Making a Murderer and The Jinx when they had just came out.And to this day, they're still a landmark, legendary, premium documentary true crime series.
And I just had this stupid thought at the time, I was like, I mean, I couldn't stop thinking about the cases and I was like, how does one become the person who does this?Did they just say, hey, I'm going to go do this?
How did they even put together the resources to do that at all? That puzzled me.Actually, I never even said this before, but early on, I used to watch ID Channel 2.
And there were some shows that, no offense, I thought were pretty trash, but I still watched them and kind of liked them.
And I was like, maybe I should email some of the producers of this, not telling them that their show is trash, but more like, hey, can I work on this show? I don't know, how could I get involved?No response.
And then I was on a road trip with my friend to Louisville, actually, and Serial had just came out, and the first five episodes of the podcast Serial were out.And he's like, dude, you gotta listen to this show.And I'm like, okay, what is it?
And he says, audio shows, man, I don't like audio, radio shit.He's like, just trust me.And so we binged it on the way up there.
Got the episode five, were there for like three days, and then a new one had come out, and we got to binge that on the way back.And then the rest was just me at my house waiting for Sarah Koenig to upload that last one.
And culmination of events, a few months later, I kind of went back to the drawing board on, OK, if I wanted to make a true crime show, what's my entry point?And I was like, you know what?
I never imagined how enthralled and compelled I could be by an audio show the way that Serial Season 1 did for me.And so it told me that that was possible. Thankfully, I've been like an editor of video stuff for a majority of my life.
And so I just had the crazy idea of, you know what, fuck it.I'm going to go find a case in my home state and go put together a true crime podcast about it.And I don't know what it should sound like.
And I'm just going to make it sound like, I guess, whatever I would want to listen to as someone who didn't like listening to audio shows.Right.And that was just the basic premise.And then, you know, that evolved over time.
But that's how I got into it.
And I think something audio only allows you to do that video doesn't, because I think something that Alex and I did a lot when working on Status on Traces, we would constantly go, okay, but why is it better as audio than as video?
And the thing that we kept on coming back to was, okay, you're most likely doing something when you're listening to a podcast.You're driving, you're working, you're doing something typically.
So like, how can you put that person or put yourself in their head so they're in the same adventure kind of as you are, but you're with it.
And the same way that you read a book and sometimes you add context to the pages, I think adding that audio, you get to hear all of these interviews and things like that, but you actually get to feel like you're there with them in a way that you,
you're not watching it on TV, you're kind of there with them.So that was kind of one of the things that made us lean back into it while creating the podcast itself.That's not necessarily why I chose a podcast.
I think I chose a podcast because of circumstances the same way that I fell into doing this in the first place.I mean, so did I. Yeah, exactly.I think it was more circumstantial than just anything else.But I think that there is something to
podcasts having a special edge over, not necessarily edge, but it's in its own medium for a reason.And I think that there's a true crime docuseries I think fit very well into that because you are interviewing people.
You are generally trying to solve something and you can really be drawn in and pulled with that in that way.
Yeah, yeah.There's something attractive about podcasting.It just feels more feasible.I don't come from film, but maybe you all can speak on it, but I just imagine getting into podcasting has to be immensely easier than film.I could be wrong, though.
That's also true.That was also one of the reasons.I mean, coming from a filmmaking background, I'm like, I don't want to raise money to do this.I went to Best Buy, and I googled, you know, podcast starter pack. didn't exist.
Seeing them now, I'm just like, lucky bastards, because there was just not any sort of guidance online for how to get started.But it turns out it was just very simple.It was just a microphone and something to record into.And I was like, oh, duh.
But now they make it all neat, and it looks cooler.
I know, right?That's why, yeah, it's even easier to get into it now, probably.But yeah, I think, you know, it's cool for me because, honestly, I probably don't make culpable unless I listen to Up and Vanish.Like, I always say, like, I'm the same way.
I listen to Serial.I still vividly remember binging it, and it got me into it.It was the first, like, Oh, this is cool.I didn't even know that they did these types of stories.The ones I'm watching late at night, they do these in audio only?
I'm interested in that, that's cool.And then, what was it, a year later when the first season of Up and Managed came out?
Yeah, and that was, I listened to that and was just enthralled. To hear somebody who openly is like, I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm going to give this a try.
It was encouraging for somebody like me who was even considering that as an idea of like, hey, maybe I could do this too, actually.
And so that was very much a blueprint in a lot of ways and kind of helped jumpstart that idea of like, I could do something like this.
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Yeah, Penn, I'm sure you get that feedback a lot from listeners, like just the connection that people can have with you because you're there.Your mindset is like, I'm diving in.I'm digging in.I want to know.
But also, I don't want to put on this front that I know exactly what I'm doing because this is my first time.Tell us a little bit more about that.
What is that process like for you of trying something new while also not being an expert coming into it?If you're watching a movie,
A lot of times it's with your friends or your significant other on the couch and you're not both wearing headphones, right?
So I think there's, you know, oftentimes, I don't know the statistics, but there's a more personal side of, you know, I'm listening to this person talk about whatever, this unsolved crime into my ears and you start to follow along and
And like, I've done the same thing with other shows.I felt that way with Sarah Koenig.I don't know her, but I bet you, you know, if I ever met her, I'd be like, oh my God, you know, I feel like I know you.And she's like, no, you don't.
And I'm like, I know.But I think that part of podcasting is special and like is,
especially in the true crime genre, feeling like you're at the edge of the seat or right there with like an investigative journalist who, you know, it feels like you're a part of it. in a way that you can't really recreate many other places.
And so I think that that's, and I didn't even really know that going into making Up and Vanished.
I kind of realized that after making episodes and realizing how they felt and sounded to me, and sort of just general feedback, and I just kind of leaned more into, you know,
peeling the curtain back and it being okay that I don't have the credentials.Maybe that's what's kind of interesting about this.This whole thing could bomb, but at least it was authentic.
And I really was only making a podcast back then as a stepping stone to try to do something bigger in my mind, like a TV show or a documentary.I didn't think that there was any business or money to be made. in podcasting.
I thought serial was just a really cool thing that happened.And that was the end.I'm going to use this as a blanket blueprint for how I would do a podcast, go do my own.And maybe that's my proof of concept to sell to the money guy that, hey, pick me.
I want to do one of those ID channel shows that I hate.You know? That I emailed you about you know that I emailed you about you never got back to me.
Yeah, I Do I do think that having it like uniquely?Starting as an amateur and going into it again makes it more Relatable.It's just like if you ever seen don't fuck with cats.Yeah.
Yeah like that like was like to me was more relatable like because they just started doing like none of them had any business doing that which then leads to to finding something which is unique.
I think that's kind of the, sums up the nature of this industry generally.
I look at Serial and Up and Vanish, and then it's funny to hear you say that you were inspired by both of them, right?And I feel like that's just the natural evolution of how things go, which it's cool to hear you say that.
But what was it for you, though?I guess just dipping your toe in the water.
It was, you hit on something a minute ago that made me think of something you were talking about.Like once you got into it, like that perspective changes, and I didn't know if I would actually enjoy doing it.
Like I just, it was more of like a challenge.Like I always say it was on my bucket list.Like after I listened to Serial, it was like on my bucket list, right?I was like, I'm gonna do that someday.
And like I said, I give a lot of credit to you, because listening to you, I mean, Sarah Koenig's Sarah Koenig, like she's, Yeah.I mean, she's kind of a big deal in this space.Yeah, yeah.You know?Where are you, by the way, Sarah?Yeah, she's not here.
She probably had better engagements.Okay.But you, on the other hand, getting into it, were just an amateur.
This guy's just fucking normal.
I'm like, this guy has no idea what he's talking about.This guy ain't doing shit.Like, I don't know.I could do better.But no.No, I get it, though. But yeah, it just made it seem like, okay, that's doable.Like I can definitely do that.
But at the same time, I didn't necessarily expect to enjoy doing it because none of my career up to that point was anything remotely close to that field.I mean, I worked in like healthcare and telecommunications, a bunch of random shit.
It could easily have been the opposite of that.Yeah, yeah, yeah.So it didn't really make sense at the same time to even be trying it. I shouldn't have been the one doing it, right?
But I found something I loved, you get in the weeds of it, and all of a sudden you realize, like, wait, actually, I'm enjoying this.Like, this is the most fun I've ever had doing work before and the most meaning that I've put into work.
There's never a dull moment, right?Never a dull moment.There may be a lot of stressful moments, but it's not dull.It's stressful.
There's definitely purpose, too.
Oh, yeah.Yeah, it challenges yourself in ways that maybe you never had before, right?Right.
That and then like, there's a responsibility that you immediately start to feel to the victim's families and finding answers.There's a lot of things that just start to like... That forces self-reflection a little bit too, right?
So what are the things that keep you up at night, I guess as a creator or podcaster?
I mean, are they more process-driven, like, I got an episode, it's coming out in a day, I'm falling behind, I gotta get locked into the edit, or is it more story-driven and wrestling internally with what makes the cut, how much do I put into my own bias or thought process?
What are the things that are kind of stressing you or keeping you up at night?
There's been an evolution of different things that have done that but I would say just like more recently and more I guess like more like six seven years in the things that bother me the most or keep me up at night, which You know, it's not always the case is shit like why is this person being like that?
Like why why are they? talking to me like that?What do I not understand about that from some human nature psychology thing? you know, why would this person do this if this is what happened?
And how do I bypass the obvious, fuck you, I don't wanna talk to you?How do I get there?Because if I can't figure out a way to do that, then I'm just retelling a horrible tragedy.And I don't have any genuine interest in doing that at all.
And so if I ever feel like that's all I can do, then I'm probably out.And so that will keep me up at night, and I lead with that, and it opens up all these other doors, and so much is out of your control, but you know.
I want to have a pulse and like a thumb on the persons of interest, because most of the time in any cases I've looked into, that's what the police haven't been doing.
So if I'm going to go cover this and really do it, or if it's going to sound like that, I'd rather get better sleep at night knowing that I really am doing that.
And you can think whatever, if I really am or not, or if you would have done it differently, that's fine.But I go to sleep at night knowing that this shit's fucking hard and I did all that I could
and I will learn from that and get better the next day.But I really want to find the bad guy because that's what the family's telling me.
They're not thinking that like I'm going to get too scared or like uncomfortable at some point and say, sorry, got to stop here.
That's what mine would be.I think the thing that I fixated on, I'm just going to do just status and trace because I have one great examples in there.Yeah.I think the thing that I fixated on more than anything else was
beyond like, how are we going to do this?
Because everything was like difficult finding, you know, searching in another country is not easy and getting into another country during COVID was not easy and all of those things, but was finding a way to accurately tell the story and the findings while also honoring Justin's legacy.
That was like, I constantly, like, I would go to, I'd be like, am I doing a good job of that always?Because that for me was the thing that I constantly was thinking about.I mean, it's simple and sweet, honestly.
I think you answered it.I think that's how you do it. You have to constantly check yourself.You have to remind yourself.You don't just say like, day one, I gotta figure it out, and then day 365, still be in that same mindset.
You fucked up if that's the case.You gotta be constantly like, okay, reshaping, re-evolving, look in the mirror, how would they perceive this?I mean, you have a lot of experience with that.
Yeah, I mean, truthfully, to answer your question, like, not much keeps me up at night these days as far as work goes, but I think a lot of- Because that ambience, that works, right?Yeah.
No, it's just like you said, you mature into the role, you grow, you learn how to work-life balance, but there's always going to be those things that kind of nag at you.
For me, it's usually more like beating myself up, like, damn, I should have asked them that question earlier, or like, you know, Did I sound like an idiot when I said the wrong name earlier?
Like really, really stupid stuff like that is honestly what I get hung up on.It's kind of weird.Uh, but no, for the most part, like I enjoy what I do.And now where I'm at, like, it's just so much more of a breeze.It's, it's heavy at times.
It can be taxing investing a case, but like compared to making season one, I didn't know what the fuck I was doing.I didn't have the resources I have now.Like I probably shaved years off my life working season one.You know?Yeah.
You know, and you probably did too. You took four years to make your show.Four years, bro.You might have lost ten.But no, like now it's, you know, I got a good team, good support system.I've matured into the role.
So, I mean, truthfully, not a lot keeps me up at night now.
But you never forget those things that you felt dumb about, do you?
No, no.I mean, I've thought of those.
Because also, there's no take-backs, usually.
There's no re-dos.Yeah, the Amiens fix it at night.I think about it all day long, though.I'm like, damn, that sounded so stupid when I said that.They're probably going to hate me.Yeah.
I think that's just a piece of the rule.
Yeah, yeah.You're never going to be perfect.
That's going to be how it is.
You're like, yeah, I'm not cutting it. So you all are digging into stories that are really hard and can be very dark.
So I'm curious, the idea of a moral compass, what does that mean to each one of you and how do you bring that into your creative process?
I mean, if you polled every single person in this building, they'd all give a slightly different answer, maybe if it's just 0.1% different, of what their moral compass is, what their belief system is, what their religion is, what they believe in, right?
And so, I think that's person to person.For me, the easiest way to always kind of just stay in a straight line, is remembering one thing only.There's prongs to it, but one main thing.
There's a family out there who either doesn't know what happened to their loved one, knows just this information, or somebody murdered them, and they want to find out what happened.
I think as long as I'm not breaking any laws and they feel okay about what I'm doing, then for the most part, generally speaking, all the other stuff I add is just my own two cents and my own opinion and my own moral compass.But staying on that,
is where I start.If they're upset with me, then I probably did something wrong, right?And you might think that too.But if I'm leading with that, then we can take the risks that we might need to take to get to the answers.And I mean,
Usually, if a family is at a point in an unsolved case of one of their loved ones, and they're willing to make a true crime podcast about it, then they're already at the point where they're willing to take that risk.
So I look at that as a responsibility of like, okay, Am I just like one of those trope true crime podcasts?Or do they actually think that I can help?And what am I going to do to prove that to be true?
Or how hard am I going to push myself to make it as true as I can within the means of my own control, right?
Yeah, I mean, I agree pretty much wholeheartedly with that.I think it's on top of that, it's finding the truth.It's finding whatever you can find or furthering the case as far as you can further.
It's doing what the family has not been able to do so far and it's finding a way to go do that.To me, that's the social construct, like the contract that we sign with them when we start doing a case like this, you know?
we're going to put out like everything we can into figuring out what you haven't been able to figure out yet.
And you might not always agree on the same things.Which is definitely weird.And I'm thinking like, there's no way.Now, I'm not going to come out bluntly and just say that blindly, right?But I'm going to consider that more than anyone else's opinion.
Because why do they think that?Is there something to that?And as long as I'm listening and communicating, if any of us are right and get somewhere, then we already forgot about that time where we were confused.The whole thing's confusing.
That's why we're here in the first place.
Yeah, you really can't put it much better than Payne did starting it off.Definitely keeping the family at the center of it all and their trauma, because none of us can truly put ourselves in their shoes.
But we can do our best, and we can be compassionate and try to understand who the victim was.And that's always been, like,
you know, at the center of what, you know, what I wanted to do with culpable was a lot of what started that was a conversation with the mom and just my heart went out for her and everything she'd done for five years, just like doing everything in her power to try to get justice for her son.
And more than anything, even more than justice, just get answers.Like you said, the, the not having answers, I'm working on a case right now.Um, and John, you're familiar with this where this, this girl is,
doesn't even know the victim and is just helping out because every year she'd see at the anniversary this post about this this kid that died in her hometown and you know flash forward years later and she has a young child who dies while with a babysitter it turned out to just be some virus but for months they didn't have answers to that and she said like that just completely changed her perspective of his case and was like I want to help this family anyway I can and I was like heck I do too now she just said that like holy cow like that's
that's tough, you know, losing a child.And then that's what puts it into perspective of like, that's what it must feel like.You know, when we didn't have those answers for two months, they haven't had answers for 25 years to their son's death.
So that was just refreshed on that recently after meeting with them and talking about that.So yeah, the family's got to be at the center of it all.And obviously, even more central is the victim.
And family can mean a lot, though.Yes.Family doesn't necessarily have to definitively mean mom and dad. Families are different.Sometimes it's a cousin, it's a sister, it's the best friend.
It's the person who is spearheading some sort of, because it's difficult.Not everyone can do that at the same time.But they're always going to be solely focused on justice for that person.
And so you have to learn from them and stay closely tied to that because you didn't come out of the womb naturally feeling that way.You can develop that compassion and empathy for the situation, but it could never match what they're feeling.
I just wanted to add that whoever that person is in their life, or persons, and aligning with that because they don't have any other motive other than finding the truth.
And if you stick to that, I think that the rest you can navigate if you're just not a shitty person and you're actually considering what others may be thinking and feeling about what you're doing.
The very first in-person interview I did for Untraced was with one of Justin's best friends and I sat down there and
We're sitting across the table, and of course, this is the first time in the genre, first time in all of this, and he's like, the not knowing is the hardest part.He's like, if I know my friend is dead, it's at least, like, I can start mourning.
He's like, but if you don't know, like, am I giving up on him?I don't know.That's still, like, it's a piece that just is always constantly running around.
So for me, that, like, the answers in finding that is, that is, like, the guide, like, the guide in life.
Which is also, like, why we just all three said we do this. That would be absolutely maddening to not know.That would be horrible.
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So you're sitting down with family who's in the middle of, or potentially it's years removed, but they're dealing with a very difficult loss in their life, and you're asking difficult questions, even if you're not probing necessarily or trying to dig for information, but you're just trying to learn and discover.
How do you process their grief and where they're at while also still understanding that you're trying to learn something in your own discovery process?How do you balance those two things?
Just listen.Yeah.I took my answer.You could go deeper with more nuance, but they're sharing their emotions and you're just listening.Yeah.You're listening and understanding and you don't forget that.Yeah.Right.And that's what I do.Yeah.
I just kind of just shut up.And once, you know, maybe the tone of the room has changed a little bit,
I'll shift it to a rational, realistic, positive, small step that we could all take together that goes in a direction so we don't feel like we're absolutely helpless, that I actually truly believe in.But I'm not necessarily there to console them.
I'm there to listen and understand so I can take that information.They always know that they can call me and I'm always going to listen.But most of the time, that's what they want.They want someone to hear them out.That's why they're here.
No one believed me.The cops aren't listening.My family's tired of hearing me say this.Well, I'm all ears, right?And I think that is really at the core.That's it. And with every person and situation, there's a lot of nuance to that.
But put quite simply, that's what I do, is listen.And that's what you should be doing.It's not the Payne-Lindsay show.It's like, holy shit, this person is unpacking traumatic events and I'm just here, I'm here listening.
That's exactly that.I don't really have anything more to add to that.It's not one conversation.It's many conversations, you know?
And like, for me, I didn't end up getting to Justin's, like, the specifics of Justin's disappearance until like five or six sit-down conversations with both of his parents.
Like, we had done a lot of conversations about who he was, understanding Justin before we ever really got into... You were beating around the bush. Sometimes you have to.
Kind of, but also like in a way, but it wasn't necessarily the specifics of, it always comes down to what is actually there to learn immediately from it, right? Yeah, it's just, it's listening and understanding and learning who the person is.
And to be honest, the reason I did the show in the first place is because I was fascinated in Justin.And that's authentic, and it's okay to show that.I think that builds trust.Yeah, so listen, I think listen is literally the answer to that.
It's the only answer I really have.
I'm gonna echo that same thing.The only thing I would add is just investing time.You can't just schedule out one four hour sit down and think, you know what? That one person only knows one detail.All you really need to do is spend an hour with them.
But this is the family.So I'm going to go spend four hours with them.When I went into this, that's the mindset I had, was that you just kind of block out time.You talk to them once, and then you go hit the ground and figure out the next thing.
It's not work from home job at a tech company.
Right, right.And it was just like, no, you really got to invest time.One, to understand them, to connect with them on a deeper level.Ideally, I'd like to shed a tear with them at some point.
I mean, if you left me on read, I'd be upset too.Right.
Right, and that's the thing, like you said, the phone's gotta be open, you gotta be willing to keep the conversation going because I've just seen time and time and time again where families want to protect their kid.
Typically, they don't want to talk about how rough their life was.They want to paint it in a different way, and I totally understand that.
But the longer you spend with them, the more open, the more trusting they are to talk about and get real with you.You worked on a case with me, you know what I'm talking about, where we was pulling teeth to get answers out.
That's all you want to say about their life?Like, you're awfully quiet.And then over time, those walls start to come down.You're like, oh, so they were addicted to drugs.That's interesting.Right.
Surprised you didn't say that when we first met.Yeah, I mean, because, yeah, your instinct would be like, that's not how my son died.
And it probably wasn't. But we need to know everything, right?And do I trust you enough to tell you that, right?
Yeah, if you're trusting us with this, we can only work with what we're getting.So it's not only listening, but also just investing the necessary time and being open to talking to those people.Family, or like you said, friends.
I mean, often friends know way more than family does.They usually do, actually.So friends are huge.So investing time with you know, really anybody in the case, even, even persons of interest, you know.
I think it's easy to approach like an investigation or like an interview, quote unquote, as like a checklist.It's like, these are the people I got to talk to.These are the things I got to learn.I'm going to go in there.
I'm going to ask these questions, check.Right.But we've all talked about like the humanity.I think at the end of the day, like that, that is what has to drive it is like, I'm sitting across from a human being.
You know, maybe they are related to the victim.Maybe they are somebody who knows something.Maybe they're a potential suspect.But at the end of the day, they're a human.
And I have to be able to learn more about what they could potentially be bringing to this story.So you've all had very successful shows. from an outside looking in perspective, right?
Whether it's ranking, number of, you know, millions of downloads, you know, whatever it would be.But I'm curious from each of you, like, what would you point to as the benchmark of success?
Ooh, man.So I had to ask myself that.I think I have to often keep asking myself that, right?I think that the benchmark for success and really anything is what you determine it to be, right?
There had been a time where I surpassed what I thought was even possible for a 28-year-old, inexperienced person playing investigative journalist in a small Georgia town, right?
But then the creative bone in my body and the childhood dreams part of me was like, well, I'm not done yet.And so I had another big revelatory moment last year when I was making a new podcast that's out now called High Strange.I took a little pivot.
And I did an eight part series investigating the UFO phenomenon from like a real objective, non tinfoil hat standpoint.
And I was sitting there and at my house in like this studio that I have in there and I was playing it and I just, I stopped and I go, wow.I was like, you know what's crazy?This is my favorite place.
This moment right here is outside of all of the good that comes with telling a true crime story and trying to find out what happened and bring justice.As a creator, this is it.To be able to do this, however I kind of want to, to a degree,
and it be my job and be able to keep pushing myself and be allowed to do that.And as a kid, that was the dream.I felt like throughout my whole career as a creator, it's like all I ever was doing was begging people to take a chance on me, right?
And so in that moment, I realized that, man, it's not... about all of the accolades.Those are cool.Those are fun.Was it well-received?Did people respond to this?Do you feel re-inspired by your own work?
I think your benchmark for success is a thing that you create for yourself that can evolve over time.
And, you know, mine's continually evolving, and I think it'll be different the next time you ask me, but, you know, just, recent recollection, that was the moment I had where I was like, man, I just, I wanna be able to keep doing this.
Like, to be able to go to Alaska, which is not cheap and not easy, and go try to find out what happened to a missing person, that is a, like, Not everyone can do that.That, to me, is fucking cool.
And so, I'm cool with that, and I'm not gonna lose sight of how special that is, and how fortunate I am to do that, and try not to squander that.
I think that the one I'm hoping still comes, the one that hit immediately wasn't hitting number one.
It was like two days after we had released the show, the dad and one of the best, one of his best friends had binged the whole show and called me and were like, we were like crying.We were like, like learn new things.
We were like happy tears, sad tears.That, that to me was the most like, That was the point of the show, was to make it that way.
And in the future, I'm hoping that other people will... I personally find Justin himself to be inspiring, and I hope other people will end up finding the same thing, because I think Justin...
From all the conversations that I had with friends and family, his goal was to leave people and to inspire people to go do what they loved and to just follow that, whatever it is.
And I hope that translates the same way it did to me as it does for other people through the show.So that would be a sign of success for me.
Yeah, his legacy is alive in the same way that it inspired you.And I can only imagine as someone who was close to him, that's special because that's what he was all about. And I hope that translates.So to me, that's a sign of success.
Yeah, like Payne said, it kind of depends on where you're at in career and life, I guess.But I definitely remember feeling like all those same things, like the accolades, the feedback, the thanks.That all meant a lot at the time.
But I think where I'm at now, I just look back and I say, I did work that I did not like doing for 15 years of my life.So to be able to do this as my work is like, I think that's my benchmark.You don't want to go back?No, I wouldn't want to go back.
You want to put the tie back on?No, I wouldn't work in any of those jobs now.Are you kidding me?You don't miss those quarterly meetings?No.There was just void of meaning.Purposeless.Yeah, purposeless.A machine.
So to find not only something you like doing, but something that you feel like has purpose and you're doing a good work, a service almost in some ways, means a lot.So I don't take that for granted.
Special thanks to Dylan Harrington, Mike Rooney, and Dayton Cole for support on this episode.If you haven't listened to Up and Vanished, Culpable, or Status Untraced, go right now on your podcast app and follow the shows.
And be sure to follow us on our socials, at TenderfootTV, for more information on the latest Tenderfoot shows.Thanks for listening.
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