podcast one presents the lady gang the hollywood girl posse with lady gang quickie here's kelty knight becca tobin and jack vanik let's make this quick
Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the Lady Gang Quickie.It's me, Jack, again.We're doing something extra special for you.Yet again, it is part three of the best of our good week, bad week.Maybe you've been with us since the very beginning.
Maybe you're just a new Lady Ganger, but we have had some pretty, pretty epic weeks and some pretty horrible weeks you will never even begin to believe.So sit back, enjoy, and we love you guys.
My good week is the other day, Jared and I got recognized at CVS.Not buying, not wart remover.No, it's not what I was buying.It was what they recognized us for.It wasn't for me.It wasn't for Jack VanEck.It wasn't for Lady Gang.
It wasn't for First Degree.It wasn't for The Main.This girl stopped us and she goes, I know you guys from TikTok, from the TikTok where he grew out his hair.And she was so excited.Like we did, I was going to pick up a prescription.
When I walked through, she was like smiling at me.I'm like, I think she probably knows me.But I was like, well, I'm not going to go up to her.Cause like, what if I'm also wrong?And she's just a crazy person smiling at me.
So then I go and get my prescription and we walk back and she stops us and she's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, like the TikTok where you grow out his hair.
She's like, that TikTok inspired me to make my boyfriend grow out his hair and then shows us a picture of her boyfriend and his new hair growth.Is it good?Yeah.He looks great.I mean, I think every guy looks better with long hair.
Were you like, please listen to Lady Gang podcast?Nope.
Oh my god.I didn't even introduce you.You would never.
She wasn't like Jack or Jared.She was just like... Those couple.
Her hair looks great.I mean you can't... Jared's hair is just... You can't deny it.
But you know who looks awful with hair?Zack Martin. Awful.
No.When he had hair.Oh.I think I saw a picture.Yeah, it's true.I hope Ford loses his hair if he looks like Zach.You know what I mean?
So rare.And he does look so good with a bald head.Yeah, with the hair, I would not have married that man.That's so funny.Damn.I mean, I probably would have.Who cares?
You're a savage.Seriously.He wanted to be with you, so you had to just take it. Well, actually it can be healthy to track your life, but I've changed my things to help me as a human, not so much help my life.Like, does that make sense?
I'm helping my microbiome more than I'm helping my career. Okay, so I'm I'm tracking did I shit today number two?That's what it says great word in case Chris Cressley reads my new have you have shit today?Nope.That was yesterday today.No shit so far.
I'm waiting I mean, I feel like I can I just off off the bat.This is problematic Because that's gonna put so much weight on you shitting that you're gonna have anxiety about not being able to knock it off your boojo
No, it's not about not having it knocked off my boojo.There's been many weeks this I've been doing this for a while There's been many but I was going like nine days without pooping guys.
Like it was like, oh my god Yeah, and so when I went to the doctor, they're like, how's your digestion?
I was like bad So I'm really tracking it because now I'm taking this thing the great thing about my doctor dr S is that all of his supplements and anything he gives you has like a has a healing name and So it's like cafe gratitude.Kind of.
So I'm taking medical school.Yeah.Yes.Yes.Okay.Just check.Incredible.Okay.So he's a doctor.He's a real doctor.He's a real doctor in like a zillion ways.
What does that mean?Like he's a, he's a real doctor and then has gone and done like all kinds of crazy other like expertise.Yeah.Anyway.So he has this thing called like healthy go, go.
which is like essentially shit pills, you know, it'll make you shit.And it's the best shit pill I've ever taken.Can I get that?Yeah.Well, I don't know now.I don't know.It feels like you were making fun of him.
So, you know, I'll let you know when I go anyway.So number two, Aminos, I have my key on aminos, got to have my aminos every day.Greens, got to have something green every day.Sweat.
So instead of being like, I got to work out, I'm now like, I got to sweat.So what is that?Is it taking Callie on a walk?Is it cleaning a closet?Like I can sweat in many different ways.
Did I do something where I moved my body and was like active that day?Instead of like, did I do 80 pound weights for, you know, Sauna, now I have a sauna in my house, I know that's bougie, but I do, I'm sauning, I'm trying every day.
Protein, I gotta have something that has protein in it.Pew, which is the personal, emotional writing, where you write for 12 minutes and then you burn it.And then my pills, like I gotta have my pills.
You have to write something every day to burn?
Yeah, 12 minutes.What?You guys, I hate everything.I could write for four hours.Oh my God.So you write things like, I'm so frustrated or I'm scared of in the future or whatever.
And you just like, you stream of conscious writing for 12 minutes and then you burn it.I don't do it every day.Honestly, like I gotta be realistic.Like I'm getting twice a week, three times a week.When I first started, I was doing it every day.
I don't have time for that.
My good week is I am a stomach sleeper, like through and through, like nothing can stop me from sleeping on my stomach.Until recently, I have trained myself to sleep on my back.I am now a back sleeper. four pillows.
I have to put two pillows down in the back and then I have two pillows on my side.So I'm in a little fortress and then I can lean back on one of them.Cause we've talked about how we need to like lean on stuff.
So I lean on one and then I have my head on the other one and then I kind of like sleep like a corpse.But the problem is now I use all of our pillows on the bed and Jared has one, this, this flattest, measly pillow.
And you look at her bed, and I have my big fortress on one side, and Jared has his little floppy pillow that's like 20 years old.Could not be more Jack Banick.Welcome to being married to Jack Banick.Selfish party of one.
It's like you're taking all the pillows.I was like you can go buy yourself new pillows I know you won't because you just don't do anything.
That's not like very like logical for you I appreciate this for you because I think women should be more selfish in their relationships because if you weren't you know there one would say that most women would go and purchase a pillow for their spouse because they'd feel so guilty about taking over the pillows
Yeah, but no, no, no, sir.You're taking matters into your own hands and he needs to do the same.I love you, Jared, but this may be a good lesson for women.
That's true.I mean, I bought all those pillows.They're from my apartment.I was like, go buy yourself a pillow.
Men won't do anything.In January I was like, Hey Chris, I'm really sick.And we had, we're like going to renovate our backyard.I was like, you need to be the person.I've done every other renovation.Look at the backyard guys.
We're having a bridal shower very soon, and we've got dead grass, shit, and a pool that's empty.So, you know, I'm just, men, unless it's affecting their day-to-day life, they cannot get moved the ball down the court.
No, anything that is like maybe like a little self-care or anything that's just a little, it's not needed for survival, it's like he won't do.I have to do it for him.But he is sleeping very soundly on that one pillow.
And I'm like, that's all that matters.Are you sleeping better? So much better.I don't know what it is and Jared finds me every night because he goes to sleep after me He's like you were passed out zonked out like a zombie on your back.That's great.
Yeah, it's been amazing So highly recommend if you want to try it.
I know you're a stomach so I do need to try it Yeah, just love smothering my face into that mattress.I love squishing my face and giving myself those permanent wrinkles Fix them I am very pleased with the species of males lately.
The last couple flights that I've been on, I have not even had to ask.I've rolled my bag on and some guy stands and puts my bag in the overhead for me and gets it down. What?Yeah.I've never had a man have that.It's because we're real.We're not hot.
I mean, I'm not hot and this hasn't been happening to me at all until now.So is it my mom vibes?Getting old.You look frail.You look frail.You look like you need help.Well, I just want to say it's really, really, really nice.
All of these healthy, strong men out there like go put a woman's bag in the overhead compartment.Okay.It's very nice.
But you know what? Especially it's crazy when I see like a pregnant woman on a flight or a woman with a baby Yeah, that doesn't get help putting a lot of times.
I've helped a woman get on the plane with a baby I'm like, so you have the baby.I'll take your bag.
Yeah Yeah, that's so many times and then just men are just like and standing around and a cargo short and a flip-flop on a plane Yeah, amen sick
This episode of LadyGang is brought to you by Peloton.And we know so many of the LadyGangers are already Peloton members.Facebook, we have our own Peloton group, which is kind of crazy.
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My bad week is that, as you guys know, we did a gift guide this year.And one of the things on the gift guide was like this leather harness, like leather daddy harness.Do you remember?
I put it on like the couples, like to get it to spice up with your husband.And when I went on vacation, everyone was texting me and they're like, oh my God, did you bring the nipple tassels?Did you bring the nipple tassels?I didn't.
I brought the leather daddy harness.Mom, if you're listening to this, turn it off.I told you to turn this off. Um, anyway, I gave it to Chris as a Christmas gift on Christmas Eve.It didn't slap.I don't think he was into it.What was his reaction?
He was like, Oh, he is confused.And I made a mistake.I should have walked out in it. because I think that would have been the book.But instead it gave us- What was it exactly again?
It's like a choker of leather choker, and then it has a big clip on it, and then a piece of leather that goes down between your belt, like tits and belly button, and then a belt that goes behind you, and on the belt, tits, on the belt, is two leather handcuffs, and the handcuff, you connect the handcuffs.
It's like a restraint-y kind of a thing.Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like, he's kind of into restraining me sometimes in different ways.So anyway, I really thought it would be a hit.I think I made a mistake.
I should have just had him go and then come and maybe like on the bed in it.But instead I gave it to him and we had to put it together.And then he had to put me in it.And I think he was just like, not into it.
And it was also like day five of the thing.So like, we'd had so much sex with each other.Like, yeah, yeah, I know you're like, can we go to dinner?I want to eat a bread roll.But like, anyway, so if you got that, cause I recommended it, I'm so sorry.
And let me know if it worked for you.
No, you two together. alone.I mean by yourself and it's not an Ikea dresser.You don't need your partner to do this.
I can like I can just imagine how much it kills the mood when you're like both frustrated not figuring can't figure out how to put it together and it like the maybe the little boner that he had in the middle or the beginning was just like completely gone.
Yeah, I'll tell you that would give Zach the limpest penis ever is trying to put something together with me.It's
And then I had like crazy sunburn, like, you know, like, you know, like when you when you put your sunscreen on and it's like 50, but then you like accidentally didn't get right here.So it's like a wreck.I was like, I'm not great naked right now.
Anyway.Bad week.I got bejeweled into going to a PR company showroom.
I got bejeweled into doing the thing that I hate that I had signed off of doing for such a long time and then somehow got kajoodled back into going to a PR house showroom for a little shop.Oh god.
So what happens you guys out there in the world is that a lot of times brands will like send you you know they're like hey we want you to wear this on their Instagram or use it on your Instagram or cook with it or whatever so they'll send you like a little PR package which is so lovely and it's a great form of marketing and it really works and then these packages come from showrooms so they have like showrooms and there's fashion showrooms and
like product showrooms and whatever and like there used to be a thing when I first started Insider where I'd get invited to the showrooms and they would be like come in and just pick out whatever you want.It's like a little mini gifting.
And at the time you're like well this is so great because I have zero dollars and like this is gonna be amazing and
Anything helps and I'll take whatever, you know, yeah, really in what I would call like my free shit era Yes, and then I got out of my free shit era and I was like, it's not working is free Nothing's real and it's not worth the like humility of having to show up and like be like, can I have this?
Can I have this like? It's a $19 tank top.I could have just like, you know, like all the hounding and it's just so like so much.
And I was like, no, from now on I'm going to buy things I wear or I'm going to rent them from rent them from showrooms where I pay and I don't have to tag you if I don't want to.So like that was my new era in my bitch era.
And then I saw this owner of a PR company and she's amazing.She has the best PR company in LA.And I was like, yeah, I'm going.And she's usually come by the showroom.Great. I go to the showroom and I instantly remembered why.
First of all, almost everything there was a Lady Gang sponsor.I do not need a free pair of Rothy shoes.I'll tell you right now, I can get a Rothy shoe tomorrow.
But what it is, is even when you're in the showrooms, and I totally respect the business of this,
This showroom in particular tears it to where if you're important enough, they take you to the good brands But you know, I know exactly who this is.
It's my biggest pet peeve with this for this PR fashion guys If you're like a celebrity they take you to the best brands if you're like an if you come in like I've literally been because I've literally been on every scale of whatever that is and
I've been shown places in the showroom that I've not been shown since that I know are still there.And brands that used to get offered to me by these people are no longer offered to me, but offered to others.
And then I get offered shitty things like $19 tank tops.
So this is what happened.I went on the loser route at the PR company.And I knew it was the owner that invited you there.And I knew as I was doing it that I was on the loser route.Yeah.Because I saw this sneaker company that I saw on Instagram.
I was like, wow, they're really repping these really good brands.Yeah, I should like, do I have time in this?No, I have four jobs.I'm, you know, I was like, I don't have time to do this.I don't really need this.
I can just buy the sneakers online if I want them so bad.But I was like, fine, yeah, I'll go.It's a nice invite.And I am so thankful, and I'm going to wear the shit out of my J crew.You better believe that.
I went and I was like, as I was going, I noticed there was like a whole area that I wasn't being shown.I was on the loser route and I left feeling so defeated.And I was like, Kelty, don't do this to yourself anymore.
Like don't try to matter in a world that you don't matter.You're not an it girl.You're not cool.You're not like, none of that is real.You are there.I saw this Taylor Swift clip where she was like, I'm not it girl, cool, edgy.
I did like that clip of her.She's like, I am creative and smart and whatever.And like, I'm done.That was the final straw.Cause I'm moving into this era of my life where I was like, I really want to be like it.Cause I'm having this moment.
I'm trying to have this moment, but like, no.Kelty, you're going to create shit.You're going to make money. because you're smart and you're creative and you have good work ethic, but like you're never going to be cool.
No one's ever going to be like, you know who we should send this to is you.And that's fine.So thank you for having me.It was a great finale.I will never be back.I'm not doing it anymore.I'm done.
No, of course not. I stopped doing that shit after the final time when I had that exact same experience.
It's crazy.I'm like, you guys stop being so obvious about what this is.
Call it two different showrooms at least or something.
Separate them, whatever it is.
Don't walk me by the stuff that I want and just like act like it's not there.I'm like, I can see it.
They literally have Forever 21 there and they literally only give it to you if you're, they, they, they only give that to us.
I love J. Crew, but I also would rather just fucking buy it.
I'd rather buy it than have to like, I'm like, I can get this vest.Anyway, long story short.
So my bad week is that I did take Ford for his first haircut.And he was miserable the whole time.He panicked the moment the cape went over him.And we went to a place with the bells and the whistles.
Like you sit in the plane.
He's sitting in a plane.He's practically like a Disney, okay?And he sits down, he's fine.And then the woman puts the cape over him and he's like, Like it's on fire, like he's on fire.Then he proceeds to get the worst haircut you've ever seen.
Because he was moving around so much.Because he's moving so much.And then Zach was like, an hour later he goes, our son looks like the owner of the Rams.
Yes, like the little mini baby bangs.No.Yes, so I, yeah, so that was the bad week.
My bad week has to do with an airplane.So I was on one of my many flights that I've had recently and I went up to go to the bathroom.First mistake.I'm waiting.I'm waiting.I'm waiting.I'm waiting.I'm waiting for like 10 minutes, right?
Finally, the bathroom door opens.
I'm sorry.Can I just, I need to preamble this.What?Preamble might be my word today.Preface is the word you're looking for.Preface.You didn't pay attention to whether it was red or green.Uh, obviously not.Red means there's someone in there.I know.
Yeah.But if you don't get up one line, you get a line.It's a mad dash.
And also sometimes I like the opportunity to stand up.Yes.
Okay.You know what?Fine.Fine.So I was standing up waiting for this.By the way, there are two bathrooms.
Nobody was coming out of either of them for like, I'm not kidding, at least five minutes, which is a long time when you're standing there and waiting.I had my phone at my seat.I'm like, what am I doing?Finally, the door opens and this guy walks out.
We make eye contact.Like I was looking straight at each other in the eyes.I go in the bathroom.There is the largest piece of shit in that toilet that he did not flush.And he looked at me straight in the eyes And thought that that was okay.
Did you go in there?Yeah, I flushed his shit.So it wasn't even like he couldn't flush it.
That's what I thought.Oh, no, no, no.It was just sitting in the toilet.
I literally feel like I'm gonna barf.
And for this man to have the audacity to look at me straight in the eyes and make eye contact, I'm like, that is a level of confidence I've never seen in my life.
Maybe.Oh, a kink.He didn't look at me sexually, but that is, I should have thought about that.It's like a flasher.
Yeah, it's just shock when you go in the airport or airline bathroom airline bathroom the air what's a plane airplane bathroom?
And that like, you know, it's just sucked into the nether region and you never know what you're gonna get in that pot No, you're gonna get like old pee you're gonna get You know, it's making me sick like I do because it's just like a vacuum seal.
Yeah Yeah, the smell goes away pretty quickly.Remember the thing with Dave Matthews band where they dumped all of his like private jet poop over the earth?It was like over I think a river or something and it got all over people.
Anyways, that was insane.That was one of the craziest, like crazy shit happens to everybody on planes, but that was nuts.The eye contact was insane.That would have been my bad year.Yeah, it was pretty bad.
Lady Gang is produced by Podcast One with podcasting production assistants from Steve Dellemeter, Derek Haley, editing by Jared Monaco, and social support from Kali Carrera, and mastermind evil genius from Kelty Knight.
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