Hello, Los Angeles.We are joined today by a very special guest, the first boot of season 47 of Survivor.That is Pundit's costume.Welcome to Love It or Leave It.
We are recording on Halloween, and while my producers said I should spook up the show, I think me talking on this stage five days out from the election and four months out of therapy is more than enough.Also, go Dodgers!
Tonight on the show, Vice President Harris grooves to the rhythm of the fright, Ricky Lake gets the hots for menopausal women, and Zach Zucker puts a smile on my still-looks-thirty face.Then we all...
Spin the wheel and come up with our own ghost protocol.You stay up here.But first, let's get into it.What a week.
With polls closing in roughly 100 hours, that's right, Kamala Harris has been closing with a hopeful and unifying message meant to convince the last remaining undecided voters in seven swing states to break her way.
Meanwhile, Trump and his allies are helpfully laying out in vivid detail just how destructive a second term would be.That started with Obamacare, with House Speaker Mike Johnson promising to dismantle the Affordable Care Act on Wednesday.
There's a lot of talk.I mean, health care reform is going to be a big part of the agenda.No Obamacare. The ACA is so deeply ingrained, we need massive reform to make this work, and we got a lot of ideas on how to do that.
We got a lot of ideas, a big list of ideas.What if instead of coverage for pre-existing conditions, you could transfer Delta Sky Miles to a health savings account?
What if instead of lowering the Medicare eligibility to 55, we raise the Medicare eligibility to whatever age gets you a shout out from Smuckers?What if we replace subsidies for entrepreneurs and the self-employed with, hear me out, nothing?
Kamala Harris highlighted Johnson's comments in a press conference, which led to Trump issuing what may be one of the most brazen lies he's ever told, which is saying something, claiming it was a lie that he wants to end the Affordable Care Act, saying,
Now here is a montage of Trump saying he is going to repeal Obamacare dozens of times.Oh wait, we're a podcast and I'm not going to ask somebody to produce that montage when you all fucking know how he's said it a million times.
Pictured in your mind, Donald Trump campaigned on repeal in 2016.Trump had such a hard-on for repealing the Affordable Care Act, he did a fake signing ceremony when repeal passed the House.Here's a picture.
Trump signed an executive order saying, it is the policy of my administration to seek the prompt repeal of the Affordable Care Act.
The Trump administration also asked the Supreme Court to overturn the Affordable Care Act, and his administration tried to sabotage Obamacare from the inside, including drastically cutting outreach during enrollment periods.
But it wasn't just the tens of millions of Americans who rely on the protections of the Affordable Care Act, threatened by a second Trump term this week.
Elon Musk acknowledged that electing Donald Trump would tank the economy, admitting that tariffs, mass deportations, and Elon's pledge to cut $2 trillion from the budget would cause what he described as temporary hardship, agreeing there might even be a huge financial panic.
Rockets, cars, social media platforms, economies, what can't this guy crash?He is truly our Da Vinci of dog shit. And as reported by the Washington Post, which we should all still be subscribed to.
According to a report by the Washington Post, corporations are already planning to raise prices next year on, quote, a range of items, including clothing, footwear, baby products, auto parts, and hardware, promising to pass along the cost of tariffs to American consumers.
People loved paying more for everything when a global pandemic disrupted the supply chain, and they're going to love it even more when it's for no fucking reason. So we have dismantling the Affordable Care Act.
We have higher cost and economic chaos because of tariffs and mass deportations.But wait, there's more.On Monday, Trump supporter and dangerous crank Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
claimed that Trump promised to give him control of the Department of Agriculture and the entirety of the Department of Health and Human Services.This echoes what Trump told his supporters at Madison Square Garden.
I'm going to let him go wild on health.I'm going to let him go wild on the food.I'm going to let him go wild on medicines.
And don't worry, RFK Jr.has big plans for food and medicine.
The key that I think that President Trump has promised me is control of the public health agencies, which are HHS and its sub-agencies, CDC, FDA, NIH, and a few others, and then also the USDA.
There's already reporting that because they don't know that RFK Jr.could be confirmed by the Senate because he is a crank dilettante, they will make him some kind of a White House czar overseeing those departments.RFK Jr.
personally stoked the anti-vaccine fervor that helped produce an outbreak of measles in Samoa that killed 83 people. a catastrophe from which he learned nothing.If Trump wins, this could be as dangerous as any decision Trump makes.
Trump transition co-chair Howard Ludnick went on CNN and said he talked to RFK Jr.for two and a half hours this week and now is convinced vaccines aren't safe.
So I spent two and a half hours this week with Bobby Kennedy Jr.And what he explained was when he was born, we had three vaccines and autism was one in 10,000.Now a baby's born with 76 vaccines
R.K.Jr.is a vaccine skeptic.He pushes lies about vaccines.And I don't even think if Republicans... Why do you think he pushes lies?
Why you said... You said I'm not a scientist and you aren't.So he just wants data.
Scientists say he pushes lies.
He says, if you give me the data, all I want is the data, and I'll take on the data and show that it's not safe.And then if you pull the product liability, the companies will yank these vaccines right off, off of the market.
So... Ever wonder why kids are so much smaller than adults? That's the vaccines.It's time to admit that RFK Jr.has a secret charisma that we do not understand.He turns a Trump advisor anti-vax in one conversation.
Sheryl Hines has been married to this guy for a decade.Does this man smell incredible?What's happening?
Anyway, if crashing the economy wasn't enough, if dismantling the healthcare system wasn't enough, if controlling women's bodies wasn't enough, we can now add mumps, measles, polio, and whooping cough to the mix.
And these aren't just dangerous and stupid ideas.
These are deeply unpopular ideas because most parents aren't cranks and most parents do not want to worry when their kids go to school that their kids will be exposed to dangerous, deadly, preventable illnesses.And if you are hearing this,
And if you know someone in your life who is on the fence about voting for Kamala, make sure they understand just how scary this is.No vaccines do not cause autism, and if they did, that's how we're gonna get high-speed trains.
And by the way, RFK Jr.is not a blip here.It's not a sudden emergence of anti-vax bullshit in the Trump administration or in the Trump campaign.
Trump himself has already promised to get rid of vaccine mandates in the schools, and he is purposely not saying COVID. He is purposely saying, vaccines writ large, leaving it open to interpretation.Right now, what is Trump promising?
He's promising some kind of a hell czar who will possibly revoke safe, effective vaccines, a miracle. that made the modern world fucking possible, one of the greatest achievements in human history, gone.
He is saying he's going to get rid of the Department of Education, he's going to get rid of vaccine mandates, and he's going to cut education funding in half.These are toxic positions.
The Trump campaign, as an organization, if it has one function, its function is to obfuscate and create enough noise to make the American people unaware of the choice in this election.
The Harris-Walls campaign, their fundamental task is to make those stakes clear.
And because they have bought their own bullshit, their own misreading of early vote, their fake polls, their lies about election thieving, they have now convinced themselves that they are now free in these last few days so let the mask slip.
and tell us what they're going to do.But there are people right now in your life, there are friends of friends who are not aware of just how serious this is.They are imagining a Trump administration like the first Trump administration.
Now, that was terrible.That was awful. But it was still an administration in which was staffed by the kind of Republican institutionalists that prevented Trump's worst excesses.Those people are gone.It's RFK juniors all the way down now.
And there are people in your life that don't understand that.And I genuinely believe that if over the next
Three to four days when you're hearing this, enough of us beseech the people we know kindly, warmly, without judgment, to explain why we feel so deeply about this, why we are scared and we want them to vote with us.
If they are not sure, to ask them to trust us, to believe us when we tell them that we are worried for the future of this country and to stand with us this one time.If we can do that, I think we will win.
But not enough people right now understand how dangerous this is.We talk all the time. We talk all the time.How is it possible?How is it possible?Why is it so close?Why is it so close?Because not enough people know.There's a lot of reasons for that.
There's a lot of very frustrating, long lasting reasons for that.But if they know they'd be with us, that is a reason to be frustrated, but it is a reason to be hopeful.
So if you're hearing this on Saturday, you have this whole weekend to reach out to people, to make calls, to knock on doors.You have Monday to reach out to people, to make calls, to knock on doors, to get this in front of the people in your life.
This is our last chance.I'm only going to do that three more times tonight, OK? And finally, here in the homestretch, Republican men are also letting the mask slip when it comes to their thoughts on women and their various opinions.
This follows reports that women are dominating early votes so far, with 54% of ballots cast coming from women compared to 44% from men.It's like they always say, women do come earlier than men.Nope.I don't think something like that.I don't know.
Not really my culture.There was also this ad voiced by Julia Roberts that sent conservatives into a tailspin.
Your turn, honey.In the one place in America where women still have a right to choose, you can vote any way you want and no one will ever know.
And I'd point out, this echoes what Liz Cheney said, reminding Republicans that the ballot is a secret ballot, and reports out of Pennsylvania of women sticking Post-it notes in women's restrooms saying the same.
Meanwhile, in men's restrooms, little drops of piss everywhere.Not sure which campaign is behind that.I'm not sure how organized it is.
Charlie Kirk ranted to Megyn Kelly that this is encouraging women to undermine their husbands, which he says is the embodiment of the downfall of the American family.
This wife is wearing the, you'll show it, wearing the American hat.She's coming in with her sweet husband who probably works his tail off to make sure that she can go, you know, and have a nice life and provide for the family.
And then she lies to him saying, oh yeah, I'm going to vote for Trump.And then she votes for Kamala Harris as her little secret in the voting booth.
Isn't it interesting? that the husband isn't undermining her.Hmm.I wonder why that is.A woman voting against her husband's wishes?What's next?A woman having her own credit card?After all, a wife isn't a person.
A wife is a husband expansion pack whose personal opinions end at color of Stanley Cup.That's something you get to choose.You should be grateful.They come in all so many colors.And if you want an Owalla, you can switch the caps of the Target.
You don't go to jail. and you should be happy.It's a nice life.Find out what happened in the world when your husband gets home, sipping on your Stanley Cup in a mauve.
Fox News' Jesse Waters had this to say about conservative women secretly voting for Kamala.
And if I found out Emma was going into the voting booth and pulling the lever for Harris, that's the same thing as having an affair.That, to me... Let him finish.
Good one, Jesse, said his ex-wife. Not one to miss all the fun, Trump at a rally in North Carolina reminded everyone just how much he cares about women.
And my people told me about four weeks ago, I was saying, no, I want to protect the people.I want to protect the women of our country.I want to protect the women.Sir, please don't say that.Why?
They said, sir, I just think it's inappropriate for you to say.I pay these guys a lot of money.Can you believe it?I said, well, I'm going to do it whether the women like it or not.
Yeah, we know, man.Several juries came to the same conclusion. And then you have J.D.
Vance on Rogan in this darling exchange.Roe v. Wade has always been the law of the land.And then all of a sudden that was taken away.And you have these religious men who are trying to dictate what women can and can't do with their bodies.Yeah.
Yeah.No, look, I mean, again, I understand that.I understand the pushback against that, but I think you can go like with so many other issues, you can go way too far about it.
And it becomes trying to celebrate something that at the very best, if you grant, I think every argument of the pro-choice side, it is a neutral thing, not something to be celebrated.
I think there's very few people that are celebrating Joe Rogan.
Welcome to the resistance. In that same interview, Vance also made this odd prediction.
I wouldn't be surprised if me and Trump won just the normal gay guy vote.Because, again, they just wanted to be left the hell alone.
You may ask yourself, who is the normal gay guy?Just spitballing, but I think he's referring to gay men who have stayed current with the Marvel Cinematic Universe.Sorry, sorry, Producer Chris. Well, I do want to talk about what that is.
And that is a rich text, and I want to be careful with how I say what I'm about to say, which is just, there are little gay boys who emerge from the closet fully formed, comfortable, or more comfortable with themselves and their gayness.
But there are many others for whom there are gay guys who have to shed some homophobia. that they have internalized throughout their closeted years.
It can manifest in a lot of ways, one of which is, I'm a gay guy, but I'm not like those Pride Parade gay guys.I'm just a normal guy.That's too much for me.It's all too much for me.Maybe that is who you are.You're not somebody who is flamboyant.
You don't ascribe to all these other qualities that are associated with being gay.But you also have a slight revulsion towards them because of a certain amount of internalized hatred.
And over time, I think a lot of gay people come to learn that that's something that they were doing.They're coming out as a process that takes not just a conversation, but decades to fully be comfortable with who you are.
And it is just so interesting to see someone like J.D.Vance, So capture that idea so clearly.There's a lie in there, and there's a lie in his eyes.Infects everything he does.You're going to be the best boy, aren't you, JD Vance?
You're going to grow up, and you're going to be the best one, and you're going to show all of them, aren't you?Going to go all the way to the FBI.
Anyway, the culmination of all of this was of course Trump himself delivering a powerful closing message of his own in North Carolina.I'm not Hitler.Okay.And it's true, Hitler could paint.
It was a message Trump also hammered home at a Georgia rally earlier in the week when he said, I am the opposite of a Nazi. So that would make him a negative Nazi, which would mean Trump times a Nazi is negative Nazi squared.
But then the square root of Trump times a Nazi is the square root of negative Nazi squared, which is simply a Nazi times I, which would mean we are now on the complex Nazi plane, which is, in a sense, where we started.Was that for anyone?No?
All right. Also this week, Trump bit it trying to climb into a Trump-branded garbage truck in Wisconsin.Afterward, Trump sat in the passenger seat of the garbage truck as it drove circles around an empty airport tarmac.
Or as the Trump campaign puts it, trying to get Donald down for a nap.Later, at the rally in Green Bay, Donald Trump reminisced about getting into the garbage truck.
So look, so the stair, the first stair is like up here.I'm saying, shit.So, so I had the adrenaline going and I made it.
We're lucky he's too broken to be self-deprecating more because that works.That was that was that was endearing.Don't show anybody that.Just send him the vaccine stuff.
Anyway, it sounds like somebody had a really big day, and did they let you honk the horn, too?All right.So that's how Trump is finishing strong.
And in the other corner, we have Kamala Harris, who gave an address at the Ellipse in Washington with more than 75,000 people in attendance.Kamala sure can draw a crowd.She can draw a clock, too.Draws all the important stuff.
Harris contrasted herself with Trump from the very spot where he incited the January 6th attack.
This is someone who is unstable, obsessed with revenge, consumed with grievance, and out for unchecked power. Donald Trump has spent a decade trying to keep the American people divided and afraid of each other.That is who he is.
But America, I am here tonight to say that is not who we are.That is not who we are.
Now let's go storm the Capitol. Harris emphasized the darkness of Trump's comments about the enemy from within and offered an alternative.
Unlike Donald Trump, I don't believe people who disagree with me are the enemy.He wants to put them in jail.I'll give them a seat at the table.
You'll be sitting by the speakers and next to Joe Biden, but it's at the table.
You know sometimes you'll be at a wedding and it's like there's the tent at the wedding and then they needed a couple more tables so there's another little tent like attached to the main tent and you know it's it's office people it's it's former colleagues and second cousins in there.
The Harris campaign also launched the first ever political ad on the Las Vegas sphere which will run through election day. Just what a USC frat bro wants to see at 4 a.m.
coming out of a strip club on the worst cocaine comedown of his life, a 400 foot prosecutor.
Kamala also added to her support a few Republican leaders with a shred of dignity and patriotism left in their bodies, including former California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger.I believe we actually have a clip of Harris securing that endorsement.
By the way, I didn't know until seeing that clip that that's where the meme comes from.So cool.Schwarzenegger explained that while he still considers himself a Republican, he must do what the sphere commands.
Roach Schwarzenegger on Twitter, I will always be an American before I am a Republican.That is why this week I am voting for Kamala Harris and Tim Walz.I'm sharing it with all of you because I think there are a lot of you who feel like I do.
You don't recognize our country and you are right to be furious.Added Arnold, I also believe in a woman's right to hasta la vista their baby. Sorry.Sorry.We're doing the best we can here.Joe Biden is also helping.
He decided to enter the fray with this comment on Puerto Rico.They're good, decent, honorable people.
The only garbage I see floating out there is his supporters.His demonization of Latinos is unconscionable, and it's un-American.
Still got it. As Republicans pretended to be outraged by this, Vice President Harris addressed the comment to the press on Wednesday.
I strongly disagree with any criticism of people based on who they vote for.
Then Kamala walked into the Oval Office with a special ice cream cone just for Joe Biden, laced with enough Benadryl to keep him down till Wednesday.So one Benadryl.
As Kamala attempts to inspire people to vote while relying on millions of volunteers to talk to their friends and neighbors, the Trump campaign has outsourced its field operation to Elon Musk.
And wouldn't you know it, news broke this week that paid canvassers and doorknockers who were hired by a subcontractor for Elon Musk's America pack were driven around Michigan in the back of a seatless U-Haul and told their motel rooms wouldn't be paid for if they didn't meet unrealistic canvassing quotas.
said an American-backed spokesperson, these canvassers were treated the way Elon Musk would treat his own children.In a good way, I mean.The ones he likes.Let me start over.
One canvasser said they had no idea they were signing up to knock doors in support of Trump when they signed up until after signing an NDA.Oh, I thought we were just going to get murdered.Fuck that.I'm not doing this.
And these are really the best messengers in the final days of an election, people who have been hoodwinked and jolted around the back of a U-Haul and are only there for the money.These are the people who voters want to hear from.
I'd say, listen, the second I saw this, that Elon Musk was putting together a slapdash last minute field organization with paid canvassers, I was like, fucking great.Great.
Finding out when you're handed the fucking clipboard that you're canvassing for Donald Trump, you think it's going to be a persuasive conversation people are going to have at the doors, compared to a fucking middle-aged wine mom from Ohio who drove all the way to Michigan to knock on doors because she hasn't been able to unclench her fucking asshole since 2016.
Speaking of people who have had a rough ride, three NASA astronauts and one Russian cosmonaut finally returned to Earth from the International Space Station two months after their scheduled departure.
The two astronauts are now safely back at Cape Canaveral while the cosmonaut was returned to the Ukrainian front.Timothy Chalamet made a surprise appearance at this week's Timothy Chalamet Lookalike Contest in Washington Square Park in The Village.
I was also there, you probably didn't realize it, because I fit in so well.Police eventually shut down the event, leading one Timothy away in cuffs, after the sheer volume of chalamets turned the contest into, as one organizer put it, pandemonium.
We'll all remember where we were when we first heard about the Tim's surrection.Police said they would have been able to get the mayhem under control sooner, but the handcuffs kept slipping off their wrists.
They're men, but they're so beautiful, said one arresting police officer, but they're men.I gotta go.I gotta go home and fuck my wife.On The Tonight Show, Olivia Rodrigo reminisced about knowing Chapel Rowan way back when.
I love her.I used to go visit her when she worked at a donut shop before she got signed, before she put out any of her music.I used to go and eat donuts with her and hang out.I'm so happy for her.
Is that fun?Chapel Rowan issued this response.That's nice of you to say, Olivia.Nice of you to say it, but it's a long time ago.You might not have heard, Olivia.I don't work at that donut shop anymore.It's been a long time.
They're moving to a bigger stage at Lollapalooza.I know you're just breaking my balls, but that's a long time ago.
And finally, a leading cheese retailer in London announced last week that someone had stolen 950 wheels of artisanal cheddars, more than 24 tons of cheese, worth more than $389,000.The suspect remains at large.Oh, I'm sorry.
The suspect remains dead next to a toilet.Up next, Vice President Harris is in for a trick and treat.
Hey, don't go anywhere.There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.
I was shocked my next guest could make it tonight, but as her email said, if I can be in Wisconsin, North Carolina, and pure hell, and one day I can be in Los Angeles, then she wrote out exactly how she laughs, and it made perfect phonetic sense.
Hope she wins.Please welcome to the stage, it's Vice President Kamala Harris.
Hi, Kamala, Madam Vice President.
Did you hear my party back there?
I'm too bootylicious for the tables.Hi.Honey, go up there.
How are you holding up?Oh, you know, I don't sleep.So, you know, we're really getting into the vampire spirit.Yeah.
Madam Vice President, it's been impossible to keep up with the avalanche of scream-inducing moments from this week in the news.
Every time I open what was once known as Twitter, but is now called X, it's like opening up the barbecue pit in Texas Chainsaw Massacre.I'm scared, and yet my mouth waters for more.
Which is why we're going to have you rank the following terrifying moments of the week in a segment we're calling Come Along.
What the hell?What is this graphic?Oh, my God.Oh, I think it's you and I. That's not me.
I suppose that's Allison.But that's you and me and a comedian and then Donald Trump and Joe Biden eating a baby.
That's crazy.So you have to rank the following moments on a scale from one to five goblins.
OK, so one to five Mitch McConnells.
Yeah, one to five McConnells.And we're choosing McConnell because McConnell is one of the only living people to have spent so much time in the space between life and death when he freezes.It's just him and Jimmy Carter.
There's literally nothing sad about the fact that Jimmy Carter will die.Nothing.He is 100 years old.He lived an amazing life.He's going out the way he wanted to.In Georgia.In Georgia.He voted for Kamala.He voted for you.Yeah.
Alright, Mike Johnson said Trump is going to get rid of Obamacare.On Monday, House Speaker Mike Johnson said Trump would enact massive reforms to health coverage, including his exact words, no more Obamacare.
Though, it was funny, the way he says it, it was very Veep-esque, because he was like, no, more Obamacare.No more Obamacare.It was confusing.But what isn't confusing is that he's terrible. So how many from one to five how many goblins?
How many Mitch McConnell's for them saying they're gonna get rid of Obamacare?I mean, I'm gonna say four.Okay Just because I know I'm gonna need some room for later Smart thank you.
I think yeah, I think this is about a four on the Mitch McConnell Goblin scale Because yeah, he can say all that he does have a position of power, but hopefully there are other things in check Yeah, one would have his ass
Hope we win the fucking house.I'm much more scared about the fact that Donald Trump said that he and Mike Johnson have a little secret.Don't we, Mikey?
What, did they kiss?What is the secret?I wish.Well, they didn't elaborate.
And it was dry.It could mean anything.
They went, and it was ugh.
Yeah, that's right.That's right.It wasn't the sexy kiss we had hoped for.
But if the secret is that Mike Johnson would in some way try to fuck with the certification of the election.
Mike Johnson fucking anything is terrifying.
Yeah. What's that app called?Private Eyes?What was it called?Covenant Eyes?Covenant Eyes?
What the fuck apps are y'all into?
Well, it's what he's into.It's his app to make sure he doesn't do anything tawdry on his phone.And so his son doesn't do anything tawdry on his son's phone.And so they keep an eye on each other and make sure there's no illicit web browsing.
That they have an app on their phone.Mike Johnson and his son.
Yeah, no, I don't like that. I think, hey, I'm Kamala Harris, I think that's bad.And weird.
Yeah.The point being, we don't want Mike Johnson to be able to get rid of Obamacare and we don't want Mike Johnson in charge of certifying the vote.And the House, if we win the House, that is certified on January 3rd.
a few days before the certification of the Electoral College.So if you're in the Los Angeles area and you're not going to a swing state, there are swing districts within driving distance.There are swing districts within driving distance of New York.
That is where the House will be won and lost.I would like to have Hakeem Jeffries holding that gavel.
Next up, on Wednesday, after his Puerto Rico faux pas set off a whirlwind conservative news cycle, President Biden hosted families for the White House Halloween party and, well, he bit some babies.
OK, that now for people, you know, that's a baby dressed as a chicken.
So it's kind of cute.His jaw unhinged.This is crazy.I have been busy.I haven't seen this.
You know what's interesting about this?You know, it's interesting about this.
When I went to Joe Biden, playfully bit a baby, I pictured like kind of like, you know, like a mama, like that kind of like, you know, I kind of know the veneers.
No, he's just it's fucking.
Have you seen his veneer?They got to call it something else.His veneers are so big.
Biting babies.What the hell?
I don't find this particularly scary.
Yeah.Yeah, I'll give it a 3 McConnel.But also, never mind.
You think 2?The audience is mad at you for 3.
You're mad at me for 3?You think 1?Fine.Whatever that bitch said is 1. Excuse me, I'm sorry, this motherfucker.Are you dressed like Elton John?
Nice.Oh yeah, what are people, oh my god, you're here on Halloween, people are wearing costumes, I didn't even interrogate that.Everyone's cute.
I walk to the front of the, this is how you know, by the way, listen, I've never been diagnosed with really anything, but. Let's just say I'm vaccinated.Because I can walk to the front of the stage, have a whole conversation with all of you.
It never even occurs to me to notice that you're in a full... What are you?Are you on a course?You're a unicorn.There's a full unicorn sitting in the front row.And I walk to the front of the stage to do crowd work.
And I'm like, how is everybody doing?Wow. Next up, J.D.Vance telling Joe Rogan that Emily in Paris is a masterpiece.
We're back at our house in Cincinnati the weekend after the RNC convention.And we're sitting there watching some stupid show, Emily in Paris, on Netflix or something, which, sorry, I don't mean to call it a stupid show.
I actually think Emily in Paris is a masterpiece.But set that aside.Bracket that one for now.
He's one of them normal gay guys, huh? Hey, you know, maybe he's born with it.Maybe it's Magdalene.God.
I haven't seen Emily in Paris.
And that's completely fine.But here's what I actually think the next sentence of that is for him, which is like, it captures the futility.It's because he's judging.In some way, there's a judgment of Emily in Paris.
He doesn't think Emily in Paris is a masterpiece because he loves Emily in Paris.He thinks Emily in Paris is a masterpiece because of some kind of conservative judgment on Emily in Paris.And because I haven't seen it, I don't know what it is.
Oh, it's probably that, you know, she's in a European country and she's fine to have sex and not be judged about it.And he's like scared.He's like, where's my app about not fucking people?Keeps me in check.Keep me from fucking people.
Emily don't have it.Yeah.
Next up, Donald Trump said this.Wait, oh, did we rank it?No, we need to rank it.
One to five McConnels.Oh, dude, that one is three.That one's three McConnels, but it's like a laughing McConnell.You know what I mean?
Yeah, it's three McConnels, but with a little smirk.
Yeah.No, no, I mean like, like, jowl mood, like laughing.
I don't like it.I don't like it.Stop doing that.
OK.Next up, Donald Trump said about women in his rallies that he is going to protect women whether the women like it or not.We played that earlier.
That's fucking sick.That's gross.I'm going to give that a five.Yeah, I think that is five. That's nasty.
And finally, we have this photo of Donald Trump.Donald Trump took a joyride in a Trump garbage truck in Wisconsin with this act.This is a real photo.
That boom mic is suspiciously placed.I don't like the boom mic in the picture. I don't like any of this picture.What the fuck is happening in this picture?
What is happening is either this is a photo of the next president of the United States or an inspo image for the worst sex doll ever created.
I can't believe I'm saying this.I hope it's the latter. Oh my god.Maybe he's born with it.Jesus.Nobody tells that man that the makeup's that bad.All those people around him, nobody says one fucking word about it, huh?He's gotta smell so bad.
God damn it.It is just... I don't like what he's doing with his hand.
Everything about this is like...
This man, this thing, this is the source of so much anxiety and fear and anger.This fucking clown, this joke of a man.That's offensive to clowns. You're right, you're right.
There are clowns here tonight, and they don't like that.
Honestly, that was my bias.That was my bigotry showing.
Something for me to think about, to learn and grow.
Yeah, we can all take a minute and really learn from John being prejudiced against clowns.
Well, what are we gonna give this?How many McConnels?I mean, this is sort of, I don't even find this particularly, I think this is.
This is so yucky, but it's not, I have to remind myself, it's not gonna come out the screen and get me, right?No.So I'm gonna give it a four, McConnels, but it's a McConnel that is frozen. Okay.
It's a McConnell that somebody has to be like, sir, we gotta move.You have to move or do something.It's one of those.Four of those. I'm grossed out.I can't look at that anymore.
Also, just to make a serious point about all this is that Trump is wearing a fucking costume, uh, not because it's Halloween, but because he is trying to ride around a garbage truck to draw attention to Joe Biden's comments, which is a response to the comments about Puerto Ricans that is costing Donald Trump votes.
So Donald Trump put on this getup in an effect to draw out a damaging storyline that is right now hurting his campaign.And I don't mind that.
My Halloween wish is that Donald Trump somehow, his soul gets sucked into one of the Fisher-Price guys, but in that costume.You know those little Fisher-Price guys?And they're all like, hey.I hope that's the next thing he tries to be like, I work.
Look, I'm a Fisher-Price guy.Now he's frozen like that doll.
It's interesting to think of what is the karmic justice for Donald Trump to wake up as. There's a lot of people he could wake up.A poop.Any final thoughts, Vice President Harris?This is our last time we're seeing you before election day.
Oh my god.How nerve wracking.I'm not nervous.OK.We're going to be fine as long as you guys get out there and do it.Don't clap.Vote, Obama.Vice President Kamala Harris, everybody.
Thank you so much.We'll be right back with Rikki Lake. And we're back.Please welcome to the stage the Tracy Turnblad to my corny columns.It's the one and only Rikki Lake.Hi.Hi.Hi.It's a pleasure.So good to see you.Oh, wait.I'm tree.Great to be here.
Great to be here.Hi, everyone.Happy Halloween.Happy Halloween.Wait, I'm changing.What?I'm changing hats.I'm an undecided.For my costume, I'm an undecided voter.Do you know what I am?What are you?
Can't you tell?I'm a middle-aged, hot burner.
Scary.Thank you so much for being here.I'm a big fan.Rikki, you have a new podcast, The High Life with Rikki Lake, about, and I quote, Rikki's blissed-out world of joy and pleasure as she enters the best phase of life, midlife.What's your secret?
Because my midlife is mostly insomnia and heartburn and whatever the fuck is happening.OK, you want to know the secret?
Do you really care about the secret to my happiness?Yeah. My husband, who's out here, and my new husband.I have to say, those of you who follow my career, how many of you grew up with me?
I grew up with you.I grew up with you.
Yeah.So anyway, I've been through a lot.And I think now is the sweet time of my life.And yeah, it's really good.
Now, one thing you talk about the podcast is menopause.
Yes, we actually haven't done the episode yet, but we will, because I'm in perimenopause, so it's a topic that's of mind.
And I wanted to ask you, because Michelle Obama gave this incredible speech about the election, and in it she talked about women's health, and she said this.
Sadly, we as women and girls have not been socialized to talk openly about our reproductive health.We've been taught instead to feel shame and to hide how our bodies work.Some young girls enter puberty not knowing what to expect.
Too many of us suffer with severe cramps and nausea for days on end, every single month.
And then on the other end of the reproductive timeline, too many women my age have no idea what's going on with our bodies as we battle through menopause and debilitating hot flashes and depression.
See, fellas, most of us women, we suck up our pain and we deal with it alone.We don't share our experiences with anyone. Not with our partners, or our friends, or even our doctors.Look, a woman's body is complicated business, y'all.
It was a beautiful speech.Absolutely.
Is that true? Yeah, I mean, I know a little bit of something.I made some documentaries about women's reproductive health.
I made one called The Business of Birth Control, one called The Business of Being Born, and yeah, yeah, there's a lot we don't know about our options, about informed consent, and yeah.
And you're gonna be covering menopause on the show.
Definitely, yes.Will you tune in?Sure, I will.
I mean, I'd like to learn more about it. Switching gears a little, what's John Waters like?
And I feel like there's something so interesting about you working with John Waters, who is someone who I think kind of heightens American culture to show you something about American culture.
And you end up making a talk show that is exactly the kind of heightened American culture that he would satirize.So there's some connection there to me.
I mean, he was so shocked when I actually got that job and then became really successful at it.He's like, he discovered me.And yeah, it's just the funniest thing.
It's like this fat girl wins the guy, wins the dance contest, and then becomes the next Oprah.Yeah, I think he was really proud.And he used to come on my show as a guest.And it was just like the most surreal thing.
It's like art imitating life, life imitating art. He's tickled by the fact that I've had this career that went beyond being Tracy Turnblad.
You were also in Serial Mom.Yes.Which I loved, loved Serial Mom.And I've been thinking about Serial Mom lately because there is a connection between Kathleen Turner, who's been on this show, her character in Serial Mom, and Trump.
Makes a connection for me. At the end of that movie, spoiler alert for Serial Mom. Uh, this, this woman who gets away with it is suddenly standing there with her family and her family is like, they're not really going to let her go home.
We had to stay.We, yeah, we sat with her in court because she's our mom and we pretended we were supportive of her cause she's our mom, but she's crazy and she's a murderer.We all know that you're actually going to let her leave.
You're not going to hold her accountable at all.I guess we'll just smile.
Let's hope that's not the ending next week.Please.God, I hope not. I never actually made the connection.I made that movie when I was 24 years old.But now I see it.Thank you.Thank you.You're welcome.John Waters really is ahead of his time.
We are in the middle of something of a re-evaluation of the 90s.And I always think that I grew up in the 90s.I watched television in the 90s.I watched movies in the 90s. There was so much commentary in the 90s about how far we'd come.
And it's like, look at how equal men and women are.James Bond punches a woman in the latest film.And then you look back into the way women in public life were savaged.And you were one of those people.You were ripped to pieces.
I was.By Lieberman and Bob Bennett, Bill Bennett, Bob Bennett, they were running for office.And they said that my show was responsible for the demise of young people.
You know, we weren't, we were simply reflecting what was out there and we gave the marginalized a voice and treated, I treated everyone with respect and treated everyone the way I wanted to be treated.But yeah, you're right.
I think we were villainized.You know, the first season I was nominated for an Emmy and after that, when they attacked us, we never were nominated again.
And you were attacked pretty personally for your appearance for how you look yeah, I mean yes I was but I think you know John waters instilled in me that I was you know Beautiful and special and talented and I feel like you know that that character the underdog the consummate underdog is someone that you Root for and so I think yeah, I was able to overlook most of that were you really I think so.
Yeah, that's cool Yeah, how do you do that? You don't let one comment on the internet sit with you for weeks, and the people would know it was that one.Like, you can overlook 20 of them, but then one will get you.
But that person would never know they gaunt you.
I think in the past it has.But now that, like, when you turn 50, the cliche is that you don't really, it's not my business what other people think of me.And so, yeah, I don't think I let it get to me now.But people have nice things to say.
I mean, for the most part, people know that I'm the real deal.I am what you see is what you get. And I love that I've broken the mold in some ways, with Tracy Turnblad being this role model and this underdog that wins.
It's been a great introduction in my career.
You don't believe me, do you?Well, no, no, I don't.I'm just thinking about it.I'm thinking about it because I think part of, Part of what's happening is I think people are looking back.
There was a conversation that Oprah had about a terrible TV Guide cover.TV Guide was just a magazine for telling you what time shows were on.And the cover just was vicious.
It was just like an absolutely, just the way that when your show was on, you would just mock women on the covers of magazines.And I'm glad you're on the other side of it, but it has to have an effect on you.
I mean, maybe it did, but I feel like it's way worse now.The idea of doing a talk show in this climate where everyone has the opportunity to give you this reaction right in the immediate time, yeah, I couldn't do it today.
I feel like in the 90s, there was something about it being go-to television.It was the thing to watch.Every water cooler moment, every time the next day. I don't know.I just feel like I was, in a lot of ways, like America's sweetheart.
And I didn't feel backlash.And now, I switch gears.I went from being an actor to being a talk show host to making documentaries about things that matter to me, that hopefully matter to other people.And I feel like I've been widely accepted.
So I have not been bashed in ways that have damaged me, as far as I can remember.
Now that I'm 40, which is gay 50, which is LA gay 90, I want to get your advice on a few midlife crises, OK?OK.What are we doing about fiber?I'm on the gummies and the gummies.
And the melatonin gummies and the weed gummies.It's a lot of gummies.
I love gummies.You know I have a cannabis brand, Ricky Lake and Bake.Oh, wow.
Pretty good.They like that.
They like that. It'll be available very soon in stores.Do you think that's too many gummies for me?How many gummies is too many gummies?
Oh, the fiber gummies, and the melatonin gummies, and the weed gummies, and the vitamin gummies.
I'm not a doctor.I never claim to be an expert.But go with your gut.How's your gut feeling?
Not great.Not great at all.Hey, Ricky, how do I go to sleep?How do we go to sleep?How do you go to sleep?
A gummy, a gummy or two, you know, and I have an eight sleep, you know, I have that, that, that bed that cools your bed, you know, I'm talking about.Your bed cools you?Yes.
What else do I do?I, I mean, I don't, I watch a lot of TV, fall asleep to the TV.Oh, that's good.I mean.
What about the intrusive thoughts?
I do have intrusive.I'm super nervous.I mean, I'm nervous talking to you, but I'm nervous about what's going to happen next week.So it's definitely top of mind to, you know, Xanax comes in handy every now and then.
You know, not too much, because you don't want to be addicted to it.You know, moderation.
What do you do about the fact that when you're happy, your intrusive thoughts are about how everything good is going to go away, but when you're sad, all your intrusive thoughts are about how you'll never be happy?
I mean, yeah, I think it's a thing.But I focus on being in the moment right now.It's a joyous moment.I'm getting to sit with you.This is so fun.Post-survivor.It's so exhausting.Can I ask you something?
And I am indeed post-survivor.Maybe pre-survivor.
How is your fiber intake?Oh, you're only there for one day.
No.No.No, Ricky Lake.No, Ricky Lake.I miss three dinners. Hey, people say this all the time, to be in the moment.I don't know what that means.What does it mean to be in the moment?I don't know if I've ever done it.
Really?Do you think I'm here right now?You're always thinking ahead or you're thinking of the past?What is it?
I think both.I think I'm switching back and forth.I'm going to try to be present with you right now.
Is this a lot of concentration?How do you know if you're being in the moment?
I feel so present right now.I feel like I'm right here with you.
That's so cool.Because here's the thing.If you think to yourself, am I in the moment, aren't you no longer?So how do you know if you can't measure it?Because right now, I think, well, I'm in the moment now.We're having this conversation.
But then I'm thinking, is this good?I can't answer if it's good.
All right. Hey, you were a talk show host for a long time.Very famous, successful one.Am I good at this?
You don't have to answer that.
I'm a fan.I'm a long-time listener.Are you really?I am.That means a lot.I am.Truthfully.What can we expect to hear on the podcast?
It's all about people that have figured out their own way to crack the code to finding joy in their lives.So I'm a perfect example.
I'm 56 years old, and I feel like I am very much living in the moment and appreciating just all that life has given me.
So it's really interesting talks about biohacking and longevity and wellness and then kids and anything that pertains, that interests me and hopefully interests my audience.I definitely butchered that. No, it was good.
I should have had a better way of telling you what the podcast is about.I'm really into skincare lately.I mean, I'm doing a lot of my routine is getting pretty Baroque.
There's a lot of stuff to it.And it's different depending on the night.There are some things that are every other night, and there's some things that are once a week.The schedule gets pretty complicated.
I actually was thinking today, I may need to print out a little calendar to put up on my mirror so I don't get the days wrong.Do you think this is anxiety?That's definitely not living in the moment. Something soothing about it.
I like the ones where I like their products where it's multiple steps.You do step one, you wait two minutes.
You're a rule follower, aren't you?
I like to break the rules.
Riggi Lake, everybody.That was very fun.Listen to The High Life wherever you get your podcasts.Up next, Zach Zucker is back.
Hey, don't go anywhere.There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.
Listen, we're anxious.We're hopeful.We're tired.We've got more work to do.Here to help put a smile on all of our faces, it's the bad boy clown.The bad boy clown.Bad boy clown.Comedian, actual clown, Zach Zucker, everybody.Come on.Come on, baby.
My love.Good to see you.Come on.For me?Wow.Hey, everyone.Wow, Hollywood.Hi.Good to see you.As if we weren't hanging out before this. Let's just say John's my booty call.Yeah, just like we're back in the living room, three of us.Yup.
And whoever else we invite.Right.It's crazy.
This is what you're looking at.I love the polycule.My buddy Polly said he's cool with me having sex with his wife.Yeah, that's what you're gonna be getting tonight, guys.That's my vibe.
Everybody laughs.You should have really given him a sound effect there.I'm just saying that was a perfect place for a ghost noise.That was obvious.I mean, come on.Was that the gay one?
What's the straight one?It's like, I go bowling when it's not my friend's birthday.
Were you recording us last night?Oh, he says slay.The gay ghost says slay at the end.Slay.Zach, here's how this segment works.I'm going to share my accentual dread with you in the audience, and all you have to do is cheer us up.
God, you're so handsome when you talk into a mic.God, it works every time.I mean, it's already working.I'm a puddle with this one.All right.Should we tell them? I mean, it's up to you.If you want to tell them, we can tell them.
Look, to me, it's two Jewish boys on a Jewish holiday, October 31st.Feels like an awesome time to tell everybody.If you want to tell everybody, we can tell everybody.We have been casually having sex.
I was maybe casual for you.
For me it is very formal.It is black tie optional.
Can we talk for a second?Sure.Sure.What's up?Um, uh, you don't have to.Okay.Yeah.I love to see those lips.Yeah.Hey, I just want you to feel supported right now.I see you.I see.No, no, no.Look at me, baby. Bebe.Bebe, look at me.Bebe.
I'm really happy to be here with you, and I love that we get to cross our personal and professional relationships together.
Yeah, I mean, no, I really like that about it, too.Nice.And I'm really glad that we had this opportunity tonight to not talk before we came out about whether or not we would talk about it here.Each other's sentences.Oh, sorry.Wrong one.Yeah.Got it.
Okay, so... It's time for a segment we're calling, Turn That Frown Upside Clown.
I also just want to be clear.I love this show so much.I love to come on here.I love to spend time with my BB.But I was asked to come in.Is that French?Yeah. Oui, and are together.But I was asked to come out here in full clown regalia.
And as a professional clown, that's culturally insensitive.You asked me to go full Zach face in front of this crowd right here.And I knew you weren't going to like that joke, but I was going to do it no matter what.
First of all, thank you for telling me.And thank you for feeling like you could be honest about how you felt. And I'm glad you told us and we learned from it and we'll try to do better.That's all I can do.
I can't go back couples therapist right here.It's like I can imagine it right there.
All right.So I am going to share depressing facts that are on our minds and you're going to cheer us up.Sure.
Sources in the Trump campaign say if president again, Donald Trump may try to stop state and local police departments from receiving justice department grants if they refuse to comply with his commands to be part of a mass deportation of hundreds of thousands of undocumented people.
Okay, so where's the scary part?It's like you forgot who I've been every moment up until I said that right there.A loving devoted partner.I actually wasn't listening because I only was ready to say that at the end of it. And it was not worth it.
A French character.But in a way, I've kind of distracted us from it, so I'm doing my job.
Yeah, you are.Stop, stop, stop.I'll sign photos later.Trump is already accusing states of voter fraud, writing on True Social Wednesday, Pennsylvania is cheating and getting caught at large scale levels rarely seen before.
Report cheating to authorities.Law enforcement must act.This is, of course, false.
Law enforcement has also caught the acting bug. Right.Yeah, wow.I mean, look, no matter how many times I try to vaccinate myself, I cannot stop doing these self-tapes.Not an industry crowd.Okay, so.
Man, those exit signs got real big right there for me.No, and you know what?You know what?Yeah, fuck them.Let them do, yeah, let them do it.Or not, or not.Seems like kind of an or not crowd.
I just, I just love, I don't care what it is that you're saying.I love to hear you talk.
It's definitely cheering me up.I'm not sure how much it's working for them.I like that you, I've got to cheer.
That's sorry.I'm cheering myself up.I'm sure you also, you don't mind.I can smoke in here, right?Yeah, sure.Yeah.Cool.Okay.You did not find that funny either.Okay. Can I talk to you for a sec?Yeah.I think I'm losing the crowd.
No, no, no, no, no.They're just, it's a hard time.Everyone's a little bit tired.Everyone's on edge.They don't really trust or know you.
I know.And I think that's making them nervous.And I'm honestly shocked it's gone this well this far.I would be willing to bet no one has seen me perform ever in this crowd and probably won't.No, I think that's.You scary gay, aw.Aw, Slay.
I guess not. Um, no, no, I think it's going really good.I think they're just not kind of on edge, you know?And it's hard when they're on edge like this.I remember, I noticed like after 2016 when Hillary Clinton lost, remember?
The presidential election.
Okay.Oh, and I love her for the first, her husband got a blow job in the white house and she didn't even care.When I get a blow job at work, John's like, don't do that.
Crony John McEntee, a senior advisor for project 2025 posted this video to X.
So I guess they misunderstood.When we said we wanted mail-only voting, we meant mail M-A-L-E.
Okay, cheddar cheese fries.Those fries look good.They do, but also I'm like, melt the cheese, King.You know what I mean?That's a man who just, he like put the rest of it in the microwave and I see the chili is warm, but then the cheese is cold.
Riddle me that, Democrats.Hmm.Hmm. So, uh... Would you put your mail in your ballot?You could stuff my ballot box, if you know what I'm talking about.Um, I mean, yeah, I... You know... If you're... Am I... Oh, my God, your hair's in there.
Yeah, I think we solved that last one.
If you're in line, stay in line.
All right, aim.It's a lay in line.There we go.Yay!It's right there.And you hated it.OK.
They're getting to know you.I know.Look, they're getting to know you.
It's true.I'm new to the city.I'm 17 years old.I'm so a European 16.I'm happy to be here.I can't see anyone here, but in my mind, you're all loving it. That's when you're supposed to give me the affirmation I'm looking for, you know?Quit it, quit it.
My husband's here.Shut up.Come on out, baby.
Next up, astronaut Buzz Aldrin endorsed Donald Trump. A guy that loves coming in second.Because he's on the moon second.
You know, I met Buzz Aldrin once.Did you?I did.I met all the astronauts.No, I did.That sounded like a lie.Who else?I definitely met Michael Collins.The guy who sings the music?No, he's the... I met his brother, Michael Collins, who was in the orbit.
He never landed.And I met Buzz Aldrin.I believe I also met Neil Armstrong at that same event. Yeah, steroids guy, Neil Armstrong.Famously, he was first on the moon.First on the moon, but they took that away because of the steroids.
But anyway, Buzz Aldrin was second on the moon.And I met him.We were going to NASA.Actually, the reason this came up recently and the reason it was on my mind is George Whitesides is running for house.
He is running in a district near Los Angeles, another close race that could determine control of the house.But he worked for Virgin Galactic. And he had worked at Netflix.
Let's just say I would never work there.This guy's voting early and stuffing my ballot year round.Ballot box.Sorry.Yeah.I love to be on this show.It's going great.I feel liberated here.And that's why I'm voting for John Lovett.
I'm writing you in this year.I don't care.My vote doesn't matter here.Trump's going to win in California.
Allegedly.So George Whitesides was working on the NASA transition.Anyway, I went to NASA with President Obama and I'd worked on a speech about space policy.It was a very complicated thing because the Bush administration really neglected it.
There's a lot of Florida politics involved.Sparing you the details.No, give him.I want more. But I ended up in a van with Buzz Aldrin, I believe from the ride from Air Force One to where the president was speaking.
And we're in the van, and Buzz Aldrin was just, I'm sorry, he was a strange dude, strange dude.But we're in this van, everyone's trying to make conversation, and Buzz Aldrin says, he picks up, he has like USA Today with him, and he points at it.
And there's an article that references him in it, I believe.And he just looked at me and he goes.
Local sex offender, Buzz Aldrin. Rides with cute little twink, John Levin.
Partner of disgraced clown, Zack Zucker.But so he points at the article, and he just looks at me dead in the eyes, and he goes, I share a publicist with Barbara Streisand.And I'm stupid.No.And that's funny.
And so I say, well, that makes a lot of sense. I've always thought of you as the Barbra Streisand of space.Because?He's defying gravity.Because he's defying.That's right.Because he's the yentl?I can't think of a. It's hard to figure out.
But so I say this.He turns bright fucking red. like angry.And lest you forget, Buzz Aldrin famously will punch strangers in public.That is something about Buzz Aldrin to remember.And I want that to change.
And somebody else in the van is like, he's kidding.He's kidding.He makes jokes.He tells jokes.
You're more of a Lea Michele type. can't read, is rude to everyone, and punches people in the face.Allegedly.
And he calmed down when the subject changed.But that was the time Buzz Aldrin almost punched me in the face.And baby, if I was there, I would have taken it for you.And then what would have happened with Buzz Aldrin?
All right, next up. Don't worry, the CEO of Starbucks says they are planning and ready for unrest after the election.CEO Brian Nickell told CNBC, we always have a security monitoring what's going on at all of our stores.
Our partner safety and customer safety is really important.Fortunately for us, we already have all these systems in place that in the event something happens, we're prepared and we'll make sure to keep everybody safe.
Starbucks is ready for the collapse of civilization.Isn't that inspiring?
Would they make their coffee worse to repel everybody from going in there? OK, Starbucks crowd, all right.No coffee bean enthusiasts?The tea and the leaf?Does anyone live here?You want a coffee bean?Do I?No, I'm not really a coffee drinker.
I kind of went off on a limb there, thinking that that reference would work.And I regret it.
I think it did work.I think all of this is working.I do, too.Really, I never want this to end.
A new article in the Atlantic this week explains how black plastic cooking utensils are often made from recycled electronics waste, and they are apparently releasing flame-retardant chemicals into our food when we use them for cooking.
This is an article that basically said, throw away your black plastic utensils.
Do you have any?That feels racially charged first.Sure.Yeah, no, I think so.I think that's part of it.Yeah, I knew that was the best reaction I'd get from that. But I actually, I think so.I steal a lot of forks from Chipotle when I go.
Because I'm on the road a lot and you never know when you might need a fork to, you know. get a little frisky with somebody, you know what I'm saying?So I guess I have a lot of those.I would love to use this opportunity.
In fifth grade, we had to do reports, kind of like a book report on a restaurant that we liked in our town.And there was a girl, I'm not going to say her name, but she was saying it was Chipotle.
And I reminded her kindly, loud and angry, saying, oh no, it's Chipotle.And I got sent to the principal's office, but who's fucking laughing now, Susan?
Idiot.Idiot.Idiot.I threw out a spatula when I saw that.Between when I read that article this afternoon and coming to this show tonight, I threw out a spatula.Really?Mm-hmm.On the ground?No, in the garbage can.Okay.I was going to say, we care.
Is that the one I got you for our anniversary?
Yeah, and obviously a collection of plastic tongs and spatulas was a beautiful gift.I thought I wore the tongs pretty well.They accentuated my hips.A very personal and beautiful gift.
I got those for you after the real world. You were just on The Real World recently, weren't you?
You don't know about The Real World.
It's a secret.Can you come here for a second?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.What's going on?
Oh, sorry.We're just having fun here and telling people what's going on.And that's fine.That part is fine.But they can't know about stuff like that.We signed an NDA.OK.So if I'm on something like The Real World.
NDA, like the band that sang straight out of Compton?Yeah, that's the one.I signed them.I signed their label.
But so wait.No, but listen.We can joke around.I think they don't really know anymore. what's real and that's fun, which is kind of cool, right?Because like we are, what's happening is real, but they don't know that.
But like, don't tell them about the stuff, like the real world thing.Cause they don't know about that.
That's okay.I just, I just think that, yeah, so what?They're going to see you throw a tantrum and get kicked off the program.
That's not the point.The point is, but you always fucking do this.You do this.I'm not asking you what you think I should want.I'm telling you what I want, which I don't want them to know yet.And then you say, who cares?I care.
So just take that at face value.Why do I have to argue with you?What I care about just here, just hear what I care about and say, that's okay.And if maybe I'll change my mind later, but right now, this is what.
kind of, uh, kind of getting an election over here.You know what I mean?
Zach Zucker, everybody.Zach will stick around.Stay there.When we come back, it's time to spin the wheel. All right, for election week, we are going all in with daily coverage of every race, every count.
What A Day will be in your feeds with Jane Koston breaking down what you need to know in 20 minutes.Pond Save America will release new episodes starting Monday with in-depth analysis of the latest news every morning until the race is called.
And in case the Trump campaign is feeling loose with their legal challenges, Crooked's go-to legal experts from strict scrutiny will stop by shows across the network to unpack breaking news plus drop bonus episodes on their feed.
For those who want more, you can find all of this on your favorite podcast platform and YouTube.Also, this is the last weekend to do everything we can to get persuadable voters to the polls for Kamala Harris.Reach out to everyone you know.
Every call and conversation will matter in this election.And equally important is reaching out to friends and family. is volunteering in battlegrounds.This weekend, Dan, John, and I are heading to Arizona and Nevada to knock doors and rally voters.
You can join us for those events or sign up to knock doors in the swing states nearest you or phone bank.It is critical.Go to votesaveamerica.com slash 2024 to volunteer right now.Do it right now.All right.Please welcome Ricky Lake.
And for the first time, Allison Reese. What's up?What's wrong, buddy?
Come on.Come on.Meg Stalter.So funny.Great hat.What are you?Gay.
No, I'm League of Their Own.League of Their Own.I'm sensing a theme on this show.
Where's the deep, straight representation? Again, I lost them.It's okay.Whatever you feel, I feel a thousand times worse.
I'm hetero.I'm boring hetero.Ricky Lake straight.Gotta represent.I'm representing.
Your outfit screams curious.Sorry. All night, this has been our spooky Halloween episode, and all night we've heard the moaning and wailing of ghosts, even gay ghosts, here at Dynasty Time-Printer.
But if I could get serious about ghosts for a second, like I so often do, ghosts only happen when people die with unfinished business.
So to ensure we don't all stay tethered to this gone forsaken realm, after our demise, we're going to close things out with a game we're calling Remorse Code. Oh, nice.That's good.Damn.Spooky.Damn.We'll spin the wheel when it lands on us.
We'll each share one thing we'll do to prevent soul-binding regret.Now chew the wheel.
It has landed on Ricky Lake.Yeah.All right.What do I regret?
No, what are you going to do to prevent yourself from having a regret?
I'm going to follow through.I'm going to full steam ahead, never look back, never doubt myself, just jump feet first.Hell yeah.OK.Yeah.Wow.I love that.
You believe me, right?No, sure.I mean, I get the sense that that's something you do.So I buy it.
Yeah, it does.Yeah, it's true.You want more?I wish I could do that.No, I take it.That was it.OK.Believe it.OK.
I believe in that.I like that.
Alison, what is one thing you're going to do to avoid a regret that will keep you ensconced here in the human realm?
Ensconced?What kind of a Midwest-ass word is ensconced?
It's like a breakfast treat.Sconce.
I think sconce is like a little light, right?
It's like a little light that's on the wall.It's ensconced on the wall.
Are you going to say tchotchkes next?What's?OK.What do I not regret?
Sometimes I say tchotchkes.
What am I going to do?That's our safe word.
That's our safe word.Yeah.Tchotchkes, tchotchkes.There's too many syllables for a safe word, guys.I know, but I want to make sure he really means it, you know?
All right.Hey, can I light this?
Yeah, I keep asking if I could smoke.Well, I asked once, and they didn't go for it, so I stopped.But I have so many more cigarettes.Can I do it?Yeah. I'm ass up for the host trying to smoke and you won't give me one?
I'm ass up for the host trying to smoke.
That is a rap lyric that goes hard.
I'm ass up for the host trying to smoke.Damn.Trying to bend him over so he can give me a poke.Yeah, it's time to get out there and vote.Stuff the ballot box.Come on, y'all.Let's get woke.That's what I'm saying.
That was fun.I'm going to get more tattoos, is the answer.Nice.Yeah.I got a moon I want to get.I have a couple.I have this cat.I wanted to be a cat when I was a child.That was my aspiration.And I feel like I'm doing that.
The other one is on my ring finger.I am going through a divorce.And I am getting it lasered off.But I want to get, ouch.
Getting your ring finger lasered up.
I'm getting my whole finger gone.They don't tell you when you hit the wall.I had one done, and I regret it.It hurt.It felt like lightning striking.Getting it removed?No, just having it on my finger.
Wait, can I see it?Can I see it?
Oh, it's fading fast.I'm getting it lasered up.
Was the idea that it would be under the ring?Or is it just on the finger?
And you see, this is why we're getting a divorce.
Yeah, you guys are going to learn a lot about me right now.But I want to get the moon.I want to get the divine flower and a tree.
All right.I love that. Trying to get the moon to define my life.
Just land it on Zach.It's a really beautiful picture.
I send it in every time.It's liquefied a little bit.
Yeah, my eyes are pushed together and pulled apart and my mouth is liquefied.
You do look like a meerkat.It's a strange picture for sure.You do look like a meerkat in this, but like a beautiful meerkat.
And I love, I always have a little fun correspondence with the group when I send the photo and they're like, hey, are you cool if we still use this?I'm like, yeah, obviously.That's why we did it. No, what do I do to not have regrets?
I should have thought about this before I came on here.Well, now let's see what comes out.No, I guess I kind of just try it.You should have seen me before you guys were out here.I was using the space.I was like busting it out.That's right.
And that's the tone that he uses with us as well.Mm-hmm.Mm.That's right.Mm-hmm.Yeah, right there.Chachki, chachki, chachki.You know what?I don't live with many regrets.
I think lately, if I'm going to be vulnerable and honest and have a complete character shift on this, because we love an arc.Am I right, Noah?He comes in twos.Sometimes we come in threes, fours, whatever. I'd love to be on this show.
I don't want it to end.That's why I'm not saying it.Maybe, maybe that's, maybe. the two of us walking down onto his boat like this.
No, I think I have a, I love, I just, I love to do stuff all the time and I love to kind of live in like a Peter Pan fantastical way of like, life will never end.
And so I do follow that and it's tiring and it can burn you out sometimes and you can feel like shit, but then you have to remember that it's, you know, you're, I shouldn't have been vulnerable.
You've got to also remember to say how you feel, even if maybe it's not always going to be what the other person wants to hear.But you've got to protect your peace.
And I think I've done a good job at doing that while still maintaining that ability to do whatever I want, whoever I want.Whatever I want, whenever I want it, if he wants it.
Except smoking on stage right now.
Except smoking on stage.If they were cool, they would let me smoke on stage.I mean, I never perform here anyway, so it doesn't matter.I'm not going to get invited back. going crazy right now.They're giving me the light.
That's crazy!They are!Oh my god!
Wow.Wrap it up.Wrap it up.You're going to leave on this.And how do you feel now?Honestly, I feel like I could keep going.
You know, I will say this.You sound like Justin Timberlake to me.
Because I had him naked by the end of this show.Whoa!Remember Super Bowl?Remember he did that?Yeah.Oh, yeah.No, I know.No regrets for him.No regrets.I'm trying to live life like Justin Timberlake with Janet Jackson.Lock it in.
He ripped off her shirt, and she got in trouble.
Let's spin it again.I'm hopped up on prep right now.No one else has seen his mug shot.
Oh!What?Who would have thunk it?It has landed on me.You know, I'll be introspective.I'll follow in Zach's footsteps.After the show.This is just a bit, right?A bit romantic.Or is it?Or is it a bit?You don't know.You're not sure.
Follow us home.See how it goes.
You can't be sure.See if it's one car or two car.
And sometimes we might be trying to throw you off that scent.
We've got to keep the paparazzo at bay, because it is just one guy.
Sorry.It's my paparazzo.He's my Italian grandfather.Get out of here.Get out of here.
I had an unhelpful thought.I had an unhelpful thought, which I'll share, because I think this is a weekend of helpful thoughts.
But I'll show you one unhelpful thought, which is, I think part of the reason politics feels so bad right now is because of how much time is consumed by it.Now, that's what should be happening right now.
We should all be consumed by politics right now.That's the right mentality.We're at the end here.We have to do everything.And it's right to be preoccupied by it.The stakes are total, and the race is too close.
But I do think so much of what's happening right now is especially for the other side, we are kind of reactive to it.But there are just millions of people who are just paying too close of attention to politics in a way that's deeply unhealthy.
They are on social media all day.They're on Facebook all day, or Instagram, or Twitter, or wherever, TikTok.And especially for some of these Trump voters, I think it is all-consuming.And I want to figure out after this election how to think about
how to talk about how we talk about politics and specifically making sure that we're all
Consuming this in a way that is healthy for us, while making sure that we are not tuning out, because it would sometimes be easier to tune out and it's a difficult balance to strike.
But I sometimes feel like, for me personally, I want to know that when I'm doing this show, or we're doing What A Weekday, or we're doing Pod Save America, that I'm not just on a hamster wheel of talking about the latest thing, and that I have space to step back and think about what's important.
and what matters so that I have not just, I don't know, not just opinions, but perspective.And I think at a moment like this, I think none of us right now have perspective, which is fine.We shouldn't.We should just be fucking in it.
But I want to think about how to get not just takes, but perspective.And that's hard.But that's what I want to do.And that's when I want to make sure, on the other side of this, whatever may come that I'm thinking about.
Because we don't know what's going to happen.None of us does. We do know what we can do.And that's all that I was thinking about. And I've got to stop going to the McDonald's drive-thru.I just have to.I've got to stop knowing.Here's the thing.
Tell me about Los Angeles.When you're driving, there's a whole big chunk of the city that you're in grid.And I know where to turn on the grid to hit the various McDonald's on my way to work.I know the turns.
I know the turn for gas, and I know the turn for the McDonald's.The McDonald's on Vine, the one.I just know where they are.I know where they all are. without adding any time to my fucking trip.
And it's gotta stop, something's gotta stop, and that's the thing that I'm gonna stop, and that's my goal. What about all of our McDonald's role plays?Are we just not doing that anymore?
No, I mean, we can still put on the headset and have our fun in our apron.
Wow, so I for sure thought this was going to be a role play as the characters, like Grimace, the Hamburglar.You guys are going to work?That's crazy.
I respect the IP of the company.I don't want to get sued.
No.No, you thought it was something kind of gross, like he plays Mayor McCheese and I play the Hamburglar?No, no, no, no, no.Yes.No.No, no, no.That's not hot sauce.
Ricky Lake with a button.We come back.We'll end on a high note. And now, because we all need it, here it is, the high note.
Hi Love It, this is Amy.My high note is completing 15 miles of a 100 mile trail race relay.That's the furthest I've ever run and I did seven and a half of those miles at night.
I listened to the October 19th episode while I was running and I think I was the only person out there on the trail laughing out loud for most of my run while I tried to avoid tripping over roots and running into trees.My team had a wonderful time.
Shout out to Ghost Train Trail Races.We can't wait to be there next year and we thank you so much for keeping us entertained.
Hey, Love It, it's Mary in Central Oregon, specifically Oregon Congressional District 5, where I just got to cast my ballot for Janelle Bynum for Congress and Kamala Harris for President.
I'm gonna be phone banking tomorrow to make sure that others can get their votes in too.Another high note for me is when your guests react to the picture of them that's created for whatever game you guys are gonna be playing.
They always seem flattered and delighted and it always makes me laugh, thanks.
Also, we have got a special set of high notes from Vote Save America's Last Call.So take a listen.
These are people that have done what we asked you all to do, which is reach out to three friends in swing states or colleagues or ex-lovers or future lovers.So we have some high notes from people who are part of Vote Save America's Last Call.
Let's hear from those people.
Hey John, John and Tommy, Erin here from Massachusetts.I used the Last Call tool to reach out to my sister-in-law in Pennsylvania about voting for Kamala and we touched on women's health rights and the unrest that a Trump presidency would cause.
I used her script to let her know that I was here for any questions she might have.
After our chat, she said that although she had been undecided, she would be casting a vote for Kamala and even thought she could get her mom, who's also in Pennsylvania, on board, too.Thanks for the push, guys, and for all you do.
Hi, John.I'm Matthew from California, and I used your last call tool to reach out to a friend in Pennsylvania about voting for Kamala Harris for president and re-electing Senator Bob Casey.
And I also spoke to a friend in California about voting for the Democratic congressional candidate in her district. I talked to both of them about reproductive rights, climate change, and the future of democracy.
And at the end of our conversations, they both committed to voting for Kamala Harris and Democrats up and down the ballot.
Thanks to everybody who sent in a high note tonight.
If you want to send us a message about something that made you feel hope, and we don't know how much we're going to need it the next time we hear this show, leave us a high note at lowlyhighnotesatcrooked.com, L-O-L-I, highnotesatcrooked.com.
Or if you're a friend of the Pod subscriber, you can leave it in the Discord in the Love it or Leave it channel or the High Notes channel. Also, let me just say one last thing, which is thank you all for listening and being part of this show.
We do this, and it all feels like it leads up to a moment like this.And you get to a moment like this, and you wonder, like, you just feel like it can't possibly be here, and it is here.
And the only way it is possible to keep our fucking heads in the sewer that is the American political news cycle.
is because there are so many amazing people that listen to this show, that are part of this community, that are part of Vote Save America, and this amazing team that puts this show together week after week, even when the news is bleak, even when people are scared and worried themselves trying to make something fun and joyful during this dark time.
So thank you all for listening.Thank you all for being a part of this.Thank you all for being part of Vote Save America.Thank you to Allison Reese, Zach Zucker, and Ricky Lake. See you all on the other side.
There are three days until the 2024 elections.Have a great night and have a great weekend.And thank you, Pundit. Love It or Leave It is a Crooked Media production.It is written and produced by me, John Lovett, and Lee Eisenberg.
Kendra James is our executive producer, Chris Lord is our producer, and Kennedy Hill is our associate producer.
Hallie Kiefer is our head writer, Sarah Lazarus and Jocelyn Kaufman, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre, Will Miles, and Mohamed El-Sheikhi are our writers.
Evan Sutton is our editor, Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landis provide audio support, Stephen Colon is our audio engineer, and Milo Kim is our videographer.Our theme song is written and performed by Sure Sure.
Thanks to our designer, Bernardo Serna, for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast, and to our digital producers, David Towles, Claudia Shang, Mia Kelman, and Matt DeGroat for filming and editing video each week so you can.
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