Welcome to my podcast.I need a hey, girl, hey.I don't have one.I don't have one.It's welcome to me.Welcome to me.
I like welcome to me.I think welcome to me should be your hey, girl, hey.You can borrow my hey, girl, hey if you want to.No, I would never.
I would never.That's yours.Welcome to me is, it does, it feels right.Taylor Strecker. Thanks for being with me today to finally just catch up, because this is pretty much our only time for us to really truly catch up.
Every time I try and FaceTime you, it's impossible because my kids are around, so I can't have a normal conversation.
I was gonna say, you FaceTimed me like a few days ago, and, which is like, that's an emergency.Like, something is happening, because Stassi, by the way, never, ever.
I never cold FaceTimed people.Never.I respect human beings.I respect other people.Yes, you do.I don't cold FaceTime anyone.If I do, yes, you know it's an emergency.This time, however, wasn't an emergency.I just realized, it was Sunday morning,
And I was with the kids, and I realized, oh shit, I forgot to ask Taylor what time and what day she could do my podcast this week.
And then I'm like, shit, my Wednesday's all booked up, Thursday's Halloween, Friday, Sonia, our nanny, is leaving town, so it's like we're on our own.It's gonna be the wild, wild west for like 10 days. for like 10 days.Yeah.
So me, I've literally told Lola, like, please do not schedule anything.Like, I'm just gonna mom the fuck out of life.That's it.Yeah.So I'm like, shit.So as I was going to text you on Sunday, my kids were around.
And then her friend was like, what are you doing?What are you doing on the phone, on the phone?I'm like, I'm texting Taylor.And she goes, I want to talk to Taylor.So I was like, fine.I will cold FaceTime.And I felt rude.
I felt rude.First of all, there's a few people that can cold face time me and you are absolutely at the top of that list.Okay, there's a very small pool of people and you are one of them.Appreciate you.It was delightful.
Both the kids were so delicious.Chaotic.Stassi's literally made heart for like this.Say love you.Bye.Sorry for the chaotic phone call.
Sorry for the chaotic Fuck all no, but I just know because I respect you and human beings so much Yeah, before I cold facetimed you I did go to Teddy's Instagram stories.
I don't know why I didn't go to yours I just was like, honestly, why would reliable?Yeah, you're the I'm always like five days behind.
Yeah So like if I wanted I wanted to make sure you guys weren't having like some either Romantic trip or fun trip with all your besties in New York or doing something important.
So I go to look at Teddy's stories and I'm like, oh, they're building a giant bed fort at their house.They're doing nothing.I think I can... FaceTime them.So like I did that, but I'm sorry, will you explain to me the fort?
I did answer topless, but I had my covers over me, but I just, cause I sleep, I sleep topless.I sleep like a stripper basically.Right.So like underpants, nothing else.
That's just so funny.Cause like I sleep like a newborn baby with as many things on me as possible.Like I just don't like being naked.Hands buttoned closed, like in a sack.
That bow like wraps you up before you slumber. Literally.I am like, if I sleep in like any sort of long sleeves, I will have nightmares all night long.My body temperature needs to be like zero.I cannot be hot.Hotness leads to nightmares.
I agree with you.It's just, I go to bed covered.Then throughout the night, I take off all the things.Ooh, it's like a sexy strip for Beau.For sure, while he's in REM. But what about this fort?Well, I am married to a child.You guys are such lesbians.
No, it's literally beyond.Building a fort on your Saturday afternoon.I just want to be clear, just to be clear, this was a Taylor Donahue adventure, okay?It was a single woman show.I joined her because I'm a supportive partner, but
I woke up on Saturday and I was like, we're going to do this, this, this, this and this.And Tate was like, I'm going to build a fort and get an ice cream cake.And I was like, OK, LOL.Hold on.Very specific.Sorry.I know.
What was what was on your to do list first?Hold on.What what did you wake up Saturday fresh faced thinking that you were going to do?
You know, lingerie, because we just got back from Andrew Collins' wedding.I really want to go through my closets and throw out shit I don't need.There's also this fabulous secondhand store.It's not vintage.I'm going to keep it real.It's secondhand.
But I'm going to drop off all my shit that I've bought that I've never worn or whatever.So I was like, a bitch has productive things to do.OK?OK.And then Teddy said, Fort ice cream cake. And I don't even like ice cream cake, so there's that.
It's really not.It's Beau's favorite, too.And I'm like, it's not real cake.It's just ice cream.
It's ice cream with crunchies.Yes, it's ice cream with crunchies.And subpar whipped faux cream that tastes like plastic on my tongue.Agreed.I'll eat it.Me too.
I'm not saying I don't like it.It's just, you can't call it cake. I'm with you.Just because it's shaped like a cake doesn't make it a fucking cake.It's just an it's just an excessive amount of ice cream is what it is.
And when you put it back in the freezer, like it's never the same.Like after you like cut into it for the first time, it's never the same.For some reason.
Well, yeah, because you like keep it out, you cut it and then it like melts into like a weird, soggy shape and then it's gross.But you put it back in the freezer because you're like, I don't want to throw this away or waste it.
Then you take it out of the freezer and it's frozen slop.That's not a cake.
It's got freezer burn all over it.Yeah, but like I just want her to live her best life You know what?I mean?And also I mean give me a reason to not be productive I'll share and it's not a finger.So for sure we laid and we Rotted on our arrow bed.
And by the way, well, I'm sorry not it was an arrow bed She blew up just about to say okay it it look between couches Okay, is an arrow bed Comfortable I'm under the impression.
They're not Honestly, this one's pretty good.
It's a newer make, a newer model.I'll link in story, okay?She'll link in story.But it's, I mean, listen, it actually was pretty comfortable and it didn't deflate that much.And well, FYI, it's still up.And so now we live in a fort.
So, after you guys made this, or after Teddy made this fort.Correct.It has Feathered Down Comfort on it.I mean, this is a fucking fort.Okay, that changes it.That changes it.Now I understand why it's comfortable.What did you do?Did you watch?
Did you giggle?Did you tell stories?Did you gossip?
Like, what did you do?You'll be so excited.We watched Interview with a Vampire.So proud.In honor of you.In honor of you.In honor of you.The movie? The movie.
Yeah, the movie's like, I've watched the show.I didn't finish it.It's good, but like... Oh, is the show good?It's good, but like, the movie is... It's... It's a classic for a reason.
It's just... It's turnt, and it's so you.FYI.See?It's so Stassi-coded, there are no words.
Thank you!I mean, I've been thinking this for forever, but to have somebody else say it about me means the world.
Thank you.You're so welcome.You're giving Tom Cruise, and I receive that as a compliment.No, like, I know.So, like, this is the thing.
Like, I'm a self-aware queen.Okay? Do I want to be the Tom Cruise in the situation?No.No, I do not.Like I'd like to think of myself as like the Brad Pitt, you know, just selfless and, you know, heroic and all that shit.But let's call a spade a spade.
I am the Tom Cruise evil mastermind controlling I am the freak of a human being that is Lestat.Like, that is me.And I look like Lestat.Let's be real.
You don't look like Lestat.
Yes, I do.Unless you want to.I do.I do.When I'm hungover, I do.First of all, let's just keep it 100 and say what his name is.His name is LSAT, okay?Like the test for law school.So, like, Lestat, that's LSAT.And I can see right through it.
I took the LSAT. Game recognizes game, okay?Lestat.LSAT.
No?I don't like it.No, Lestat is just... I should have named Messer Lestat.
No, I'm very happy.Lestat Clark.I'm very happy you didn't.So we watched that.We watched a bunch of movies.Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on.I need to defend Lestat one last time, okay?
Okay, please.Like, he has a lot of pressure. There's a lot riding on his shoulders.To what, torture people?No, he's the one who has to make sure, he was not the original vampire, but the original for that household.
He took Brad Pitt in, showed him the ropes, he has to keep the train moving, because if Lestat's not around, nothing's working in the right way.The house isn't working in the right way.Life's not working the right way.So when Brad Pitt goes in,
does his own thing, you know what I mean?It's like, you're fucking up with everything that I've built for us.Like, so if Liszt... No, you're not wrong.
He has a lot of pressure.Brad Pitt would never be able to even survive.He would have somehow unlived himself, accidentally probably, if it wasn't for... Or he would have just become decrepit and old because he would have never sucked the blood.
Exactly.Yeah, you're right.I mean, justice for Lisztat.Justice for LSAT.Justice for LSAT.
When you're a parent, especially a new parent, you're like, your kids get to the age where it's time to start giving them vitamins.And it's kind of confusing.
You don't know where to turn because when you were a kid, or at least when I was a kid, our parents, my parents, just like gave me vitamins that I would not give my kids now.
Like basically just candy in disguise filled with sugar, unhealthy chemicals, or like gummy junk that I just don't feel was right. So when Hartford got to the age where I was supposed to be giving her vitamins, I was like, what do I do?
And I was introduced to Chia, which saved me, and we never looked back.Not only is Hartford obsessed with the taste, like she wants her vitamins, she runs around the house saying, vitamine, vitamine.
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One of my favorite parts about fall, besides everything about fall, is like switching up my makeup, doing like a moodier vibe, you know, inspired by like Pumpkin Spice and whatever, Autumn Glam and all that stuff.I am a makeup girly.
I try all the things.I wear makeup every day.You're not gonna see me out of the house without makeup.Never.
And one of my favorite makeup companies, like I always have them in my makeup routine or my makeup bag, I even throw a lot of the stuff in my purse, is Thrive Cosmetics.
Not only do I feel good about it because they're 100% vegan, cruelty-free, and have zero parabens, sulfates, all that stuff, so I know it's good on my skin, but I just love it.I mean, I became so committed to their mascara.
For so long, I was using all these different mascaras, and they would go under my eyes.I'm like, what is the deal?Then I tried their mascara, and because it's the tubing situation, stays put all day, all night, I'm never turning back.
But what I also love about Thrive Cosmetics, they have this eye brightener stick.Just put them in the corners of my eyes, brightens my face.Love, love, love the eyeshadow sticks.
So like those are always in my purse, especially there's this like brown taupey one and this gold one and I use them both together.And like I said, it's like I've said this before, cream eyeshadows, cream everything, that's it.
And it just makes me feel glowy and dewy. Thrive Cosmetics, it's the best.So spice up your fall look with Thrive Cosmetics, luxury beauty that gives back.
Right now, you can get an exclusive 20% off your first order at thrivecosmetics.com slash Stassi.That's Thrive Cosmetics, C-A-U-S-E M-E-T-I-C-S.com slash Stassi for 20% off your first order.
Okay, what else did you watch?
A bunch of movies that I actually want my life back from.Although we did watch this Zoe Kravitz movie, Blink Twice.So good.
That's on our... Yeah, Beau and I keep saying we're gonna watch that and then we just like never actually decide like, okay, tonight's the night we're watching Blink Twice.But now that I know you liked it.
Yes, heavy subject matter.Definitely trigger warning.There actually is a trigger warning on the movie itself.But yeah, it's all about the patriarchy.And speaking of the patriarchy, we should mention that we are recording this ahead of the election.
One hundred percent.Yeah.This episode's coming out November. Okay, yes, so like we don't know what's going on the fact that we're not talking about it isn't like a conspiracy It's not that we don't have opinions.It's it.Yes.
This was recorded ahead of time Okay, and I think I guess I said that at the top of the show I know whatever we're gonna listen to the first 10 minutes and be like they're not even Yeah, whatever.
Whatever.We are your escape from whatever the results are.We don't know at this point.We do not know.But I can pray.I can pray.I am deeply in love.
The amount of work I'm trying to fit in all this week before next week, which is now this week because we're in a time warp, because I'm scared I'm going to be catatonic.I'm scared I won't be able to function. I'm scared.
I don't wanna go in, I don't wanna, let's not be negative.Let's don't fear things that aren't real yet.I'm a big fan of crossing the bridge when I come up to the bridge.Right, worry is pointless.What's the point?
All that does is make your life miserable every day and night.It's not helping anything when there's nothing you can do about the situation. Correct.Correct.Correct.
But just so you guys know, we don't know.We don't know.We don't know.So... About us.Yeah.Wait, real quick, I have to ask you, because, you know, I'm me, and I'm going to make this about me.Are you still in a spiral of FOMO from my launch party?No.
I haven't thought about it since, if I'm going to be honest.
The thing is, I had the FOMO when I talked to you guys on the phone because for some reason I wasn't checking social media that day or like I didn't see it.So I didn't get to experience the FOMO. In real time?In real time.
Like, I don't know, I missed it.And then when I talked to you, you're like, oh, well, I haven't really posted.And I'm like, OK, makes sense.So I guess everybody else posted.Then you went and posted.
But because it had already happened, it's like, I'm like, oh, the FOMO is. But congratulations.Thank you.Thank you.Thank you so much.I appreciate it.Congratulations.That is something that I should be there for.
And if I didn't have children, I would have flown out for.I know you would have.
Listen, once kids are in play, it's a whole different set of friend roles.Give me a break.And also, you know me.I'm not very like, although I guess with that I would, if you had no kids, I would have been like, bitch, come.Yes.
And I, of course, would.This is the thing.How's it going to work when you have kids?
I am so scared about this.There, like, truly are no words.Like, I... I am actually worried about it.
Yeah, because you and Teddy have to be the bendy ones, because you can.But, like, what happens when none of us can be bendy?
I don't... Yeah, I mean, like, I feel like either we're gonna be the type of parents who are, like, strap the kid in a papoose.Is that what they're called?I hope so.And, like, let's get on a plane.I've never heard that word.
Yeah, I think a papoose is right.Is it?And go on a plane and just fly out to LA.You know what I mean?I'd like to think that there is hope that we could be.
If I'm living in a world of reality, I'm not even walking out my front door once we have a kid. See me never, everyone.The only way I'll see you is if you physically come to meh.I don't know though.
I mean, listen, my parents were out and about with me, bopping and beeping me around the city.You never know.Yeah, no.
That's another bridge that we shouldn't worry about until we, we... we walk up to it.
Election day and the future of us being separated by our children.
Yeah, 100%.Kids will do that.But speaking of kids, Hartford.
You know, a cornerstone, Taylor, of our friendship is our mutual I wouldn't say hatred, but our mutual disdain for Carrie Bradshaw.
And love-hate relationship.Love-hate.Sex and the City, one of the best shows to ever be created.Carrie Bradshaw, one of the best characters to ever be written, but she's horrible. I think for us, we both loved.Forever.
And we used to, in high school, I was the girl who was like, I'm a Carrie.Yep.Not surprising.Yeah, for sure.
Okay.I always took the Charlotte.Also, not surprising.
But as I said in my heart, I wanted to be Carrie.Do you know what I mean?Like, we worshipped at the false idol that is Carrie Bradshaw.And I think we both had the, our awakening, our epiphany of how awful she actually was was simultaneous.
And so we are bonded forever through that.
Yeah.I think that, you know, one of the ways, you know, you have hashtag grown is when you come to the realization that Carrie Bradshaw is kind of the worst person.Like, that's just a part of growing up, you know?
It's like, there are all these things that like, you know, it's like growing up, becoming, you know, realizing you need a good credit score.
Yes, realizing you need a good credit score, you know, it's like getting your license renewed at a time before it expires, like these things.And also it's like realizing that Carrie Bradshaw sucks.It's just a part of life.
Do you think SJP realizes that Carrie sucks?Do you think she's going to be a blind defender for always and forever?I wonder this. almost daily.
Like, crosses my mind.Roman Empire, one of my Roman Empires, where I'm just like, does she know?Like, does she know and does she agree?Because she's, Sarah Jessica Parker is not Carrie Bradshaw.So it's like, does she agree?Like, which is fine.
You know, it's okay that Carrie Bradshaw sucks.It makes the show great.Like, it's just, whatever. But because we have such strong feelings for Carrie Bradshaw, it bleeds into strong feelings for Sarah Jessica Parker.It does.We can't separate it.
We can't separate it.And we're a little hard on her.We are.Very.We're very hard on her. I love Sarah Jessica Parker.Me too.If I saw her, I'd die.Like, I would literally be like, holy fuck, you're amazing.Everything about you is amazing.
And I would feel such immediate guilt for all the bad things I say.I still can't stop saying the bad things.
I know, but it's not about her.It's just about Carrie.And unfortunately, we can't separate, you know?But I love Sarah Jessica Parker.You know, you're always hardest on the ones that you love the most.It's true. You know?Higher expectations.Yes.
And with that came Hocus Pocus 2. Yes, it did.Hocus Pocus won.SJP was a vibe.She was a vibe.A vibe.
She was integral.She was so fucking important to that, to everything she did.Perfect.Hocus Pocus 2 was a near perfect film, IMO, except only for Sarah Jessica Parker.
Couldn't agree more.Almost ruined the entire thing for me.Took me completely out of the movie with the most horrible acting on planet Earth.
It was offensive to me.And it felt personal.Sarah Jessica Parker was just like, fuck you guys, I don't care.
I think it was you that said this.You said that she... I think this was you. that it felt like she got the script the day before and didn't really read it, and then was just in the scenes like, fuck, what's my line?
Yes.No.Literally, if you look at her, because some of the times when we were watching this movie, which I will get into why this has to do with Harvard, I will just look at her.
you know, like I pick a different character every time and I will just look at her.She's not there.She's looking off.She's she's thinking other things.She's not committed.
And also to be fair, though, she had said it was either in an interview or in that like documentary she did about and just like that, where she
finished filming and just like that, and literally had to hop on a plane and go film Hocus Pocus 2 in a matter of 24 hours.
But in the same breath, she said, also, I've never seen Hocus Pocus 1, and I had to watch it for the first time right before filming.Which, I'm sorry, you have children, and you never gave them the wondrous Halloween joy of showing them Hocus Pocus?
You kept that from them?Like you've, excuse me?Abusive parent.
I've been saying it for years. Wait, the thing, though, is I think that that was the... I think that that ended up being the thing that ruined it all.I think her watching herself in Hocus Pocus 1 made her, like, overthink it.
And I don't know exactly what she was overthinking, but I think maybe the secret sauce to SJP's skill is that she's never watched herself in anything, and then she went and did it, and now I think she ruined herself.
I think it's because she hasn't been watching it religiously for the past 25 years. I'm sorry.
It was the worst role she's ever done in her career.
She had to go back and watch it to kind of remember, okay, what was this character?This was over 25 years ago, now almost 30 years ago, okay?Like 30, oh my God, almost 30 years ago.
So you have to go back and watch it to be like, what was this character?Like, what was I doing?What are the mannerisms?You have to go back and see.You can't just make up what the mannerisms are going to be.
But the mannerisms were sexy and stupid.And then she just became like a fucking fool, like a literal tool version of the first one.
Right.Correct.Sorry, SJP.I know we do love you.We love you, but we're hard on you because we love you. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.This month is all about gratitude.Honestly, it's the season of gratitude.
That's why I love this season so much.And most of us have many people to be thankful for, but there's another person we don't get to thank enough, and that is ourselves. OK?
It's sometimes hard to remind ourselves that we're trying our best to make sense of everything.And in this crazy world, that isn't easy.I struggle with this on my own all the time.
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That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P, dot com slash Stassi. Moms, dads of babies, or friends of moms and dads of new babies, this is for you.Let's talk about baby sleeping through the night, because a lot of them don't.
But there's something that can help, and that is the Dreamland Weighted Baby Sleep Sack.I will never forget. When Hartford turned six months, it was like, OK, she doesn't need to be swaddled anymore.
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You don't have to take the whole sleep sack off.You can just zip from the bottom, easy diaper change, put the baby back in the crib, and voila.
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This is a great way to stock up on Dreamland baby products or to give as gifts. So Taylor and I could, whenever we're together, this always comes up in conversation.Every time.We can't not talk about what Sarah Jessica Parker did to Hocus Pocus 2.
It doesn't matter what time of year.It could be fucking April, okay?And we still will find a way to bring the conversation back to Sarah Jessica Parker and Hocus Pocus 2.Which leads me to this.
I'm on the phone, I'm FaceTiming with you guys, and you ask Hartford what she's gonna be for Halloween.And I'm like, oh, funny story, because a month ago, when I ordered her Halloween costume, she said she wanted to be Darth Vader Princess.
So I'm like, okay, I'm gonna order this ahead of time, I'm on top of my shit.Then, a week later, She comes home and says, oh, I'm gonna be Hocus Pocus for Halloween.I'm like, excuse me?
Because she's just got into a Hocus Pocus phase where she's like, fuck Disney movies, fuck princesses, fuck anything else I've ever seen before.
I just want to watch Hocus Pocus 1 and 2 whenever she's allowed to have TV time, whenever she's allowed to have the TV on, which I love.I love both those movies.So fine by me.OK, that's OK.
But I'm like, Hartford, I already ordered you a Halloween costume.You're gonna be Darth Vader Princess.And she's like, no, I'm gonna be the purple one, Hocus Pocus.And I'm like, shit, what do I do?Because this was weeks ago.
So I'm like, I don't wanna teach her that she can just change her mind and then I'll get her whatever she wants.But at the same time, I don't think she understands that I got on my phone and ordered something and bought it for her.Right.
And she hasn't seen the Darth Vader princess costume in person yet.So this doesn't feel like I'm spoiling her.It feels like, oh, maybe I should. I bought a Sarah, I bought a Hocus Pocus costume, okay?Because she started telling everyone, everyone.
And so then it got to the point where I'm like, well, what's even her name?Like, what's her name?Now she knows.She goes, Sarah, you know, it's Sarah.Which I actually didn't realize that Sarah played Sarah.Her name is Sarah in the movie?
Like, who would have thought?
No, I didn't know. For real?Or is she calling her by her government name?
Sarah Jessica Parker?No, her name's Sarah in the movie.Shut the fuck up.Yeah.You guys didn't know that?No, we didn't know that.No.It's Winifred, Sarah, and what? Exactly.I don't know.
It begins with an N. It's something with an N and then a Y. Yeah.It's something.
It's like you're thinking of her last name, Najimi.Maybe that's what I'm thinking of.Anyway, I think it's wild to the point.What is it?Mary.Who knew?Who knew?Who knew?But she is so obsessed with Hocus Pocus and Sarah Jessica Parker.
She thinks Sarah Jessica Parke, SJB did a great job in Hocus Pocus 2, but she's so obsessed that not only do we have to listen to the soundtrack all day and night and in the car, wherever we go, whenever we can, but I've been asking her, what do you wanna do for your birthday party this year?
What do you want the theme to be?No, this is in January.January, Hocus fucking Pocus.
But not just Hocus Pocus, Hocus Pocus SJP.
So that's what, so she's going to be, she's going to school as SJP, the bane of our existence.
The bane of our, and you know what, children will really humble you.
They really, can you believe, when I told you that, without even knowing how we felt, Like a betrayal.It did.It did.It did.No, it does.It does.It's like, you don't even understand, Hartford.
You're not even old enough to understand that, that me and Aunt Tay talk about this all the time.Like, how did you, how did this happen?How did it happen?
What's next year?She's going to want to be a Sarah Jessica Parker and in Just Like That?
What else do we talk about all the time?
She's going to want to go hang out with my arch enemies?In New York City?That too?Was that next, Hartford? Seriously?Where does it end?She wants to go hang out with Kate Bosworth?Where does it end?Hartford?
I'll never let it go.I'll never, even after I learned my lesson this summer, I'll still never let it go.
It's what makes you, you.But I think we need to, the next time you're in town, have a talk with Hartford about a little thing called loyalty.Loyalty.
And how family comes first.Yes.Yes.And an enemy of my enemy is your enemy.Yeah.Like, we need to spell it out for her.
We need to teach her that very important lesson.I said it wrong.An enemy of my enemy is a friend of mine.
No.An enemy?Yeah.Of my enemy?
I don't think that's- That's a friend of mine.But I don't think that's how the saying goes.I think it's like- I fucked it up.Yeah, I think it's like, an enemy of mine, or, fuck.
I don't know.If I don't like somebody, neither do you.Neither do you.
That's how it goes.That's what it is.So there's that.She's a traitor.Huge.Are you dressing up for Halloween?I mean, I know this is coming out a week after Halloween, but like, fuck it.Are you dressing up?
I just don't have it in me to get it up for Halloween this year, you know?No, I feel like I do this every year, though.
Oh, no, like I don't.I go hard every year.But this year I feel.Yeah, no, I half asked everything.I half asked my Halloween decorations.
I half asked our family costume that I don't even know how Hartford's going to be willing to switch into because she's so obsessed with being Sarah Jessica Parker that I just it's going to end up being a family costume of me, Bo and Messer matching and then Sarah Jessica Parker.
Focus Pocus too.I love that we're not even saying she's Sarah from Focus Pocus.We're like, is she Sarah Jessica Parker?In the second one.In the second one. Really?
Well luckily for you by the time this airs you'll already have Christmas decorations Okay, I want to talk about that actually because well first of all I have just been Waiting for November 1st because not only do we have to watch Hocus Pocus and listen to it all the time But Messer is so obsessed with listening to the Halloween playlist on Alexa
And I can't take it anymore.And I think because I didn't go 100% this Halloween, I'm disgusted with myself.And I just want it to be Christmas so I can commit fully to the decor, to the vibe, to the aesthetic, to the thing.
And that's why I want Halloween to be over.Because I'm just like, I didn't do it right.And so I'm frustrated.
You know, so I know every time you're like Halloween, you just feel like a failure.
I feel like a failure.Like, yeah, and I just don't like feeling like that.Wait, what's on the Halloween playlist on? So we say, Alexa, play a Halloween playlist.And it goes, Halloween party.And it starts with Ghostbusters.
And then it goes into Spooky Scary Skeleton, which is like, it's like Coachella version or something.It's great, it's fucking crazy.Then it goes into three. Griller.No, it's like a good playlist.
There's like Lady Gaga, Bloody Mary or whatever in there.It's a good playlist, but I've listened to it so many times because it's all my family wants to listen to that I need the Christmas music.And I keep warning them.
I keep saying, and I keep counting down.In 11 days, in seven days, in this many days.You're not listening to this anymore.It's nothing but Christmas tunes, motherfuckers.
Friggin wait, yeah it on baby.
So November 1st, the Halloween decorations are going down The Christmas decorations will slowly start to come up.I've ordered everything ahead of time.I've made my vision board I know what I want to do.
This is the thing you and Teddy Wait until like December fucking 15th.I to get a Christmas tree and decorate.Listen, Linda, listen.
That's a little, that's a little, that's a little much.Okay, I'd say, here's the thing.We don't have a fake Christmas tree.We have a real one.And that's not me trying to, that's not me trying to make you feel bad, okay?That's not me posturing.
It doesn't because it's way messier to clean up. I am over here wanting a fake Christmas tree, OK?Because I would like to get it up ASAP.I'm with you, girl.OK.This bitch, this four building bitch, she is like real tree robust.
So we have to you can only get a real tree around here.It's like the day after Thanksgiving is the earliest that you can get it.
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Plus, all new customers will get 10% off their first order on lightboxjewelry.com using the code STASI10.That's L-I-G-H-T-B-O-X-J-E-W-E-L-R-Y.com with code STASI10. Okay, that is, you know how I wanna start a world government, right?
This is on theme for today.Remind me.I'll vote for you, yeah.
I just don't, because of, this all came about because of Epstein and the unsealed, they couldn't unseal, they already unsealed the list or whatever in the UK and Prince Andrew or whatever, so they couldn't reseal the documents and open them up in another country, which I'm like, that,
We need a world government to come up ahead and say, sorry, just because you unsealed the documents in this country doesn't mean you can't put a fucking seal on them again and unseal them, like put them on the FedEx plane over to whatever so we can unseal them over here and use them so that justice is served.
What kind of fucking crazy logic is that? Exactly.
So we need a world government to override each other government.Governing party.
And there are things I'd like to do in this government, but one of the things I would like to do now hearing this, that you can't get a real tree until after Thanksgiving, is that Real Christmas trees.Thank you.
Those little pop up places where you go and get them.That needs to happen November 1st.It's the law.Thank you.
Thank you.I appreciate.I really.Yes, I support.Lo says they'll die.I said she will.They will die. They will do all of those things.
Everything Lo said is absolutely accurate.Okay, so they'll die and start house fires.Okay.But you keep your Christmas tree up until like February and it's a real tree, so.
Because we are trash people and it's so hard to get rid of a Christmas tree.
Did I ever tell you the story one year where we were so sick of the Christmas tree, we didn't know how to get it out and it was so dry, you like couldn't remove it and Tay was like, open the window, I'm gonna push it out the window onto the street and I was like,
What if you hit somebody?And she was like, not that far down.I was like, she was so dead ass saucy.I was like, you will spend the rest of your life in prison.
The world government over here.And I would be like, yeah, you have to go to prison. You can't be throwing real Christmas trees out your window.
No, that's like kind of batshit crazy.
I don't think anyone knows how crazy she is.
You can't throw the world will see.You can't.
If you know, you know.Most people don't, but they will.You can't throw anything out your window.
You can't throw a feather out your window, much less a Christmas tree.I'm sorry.
That is insane and diabolical.She was so not fucking joking when she said it.I was so deeply pissed at her, because I was like, first of all, I will end up getting blamed, because I give throw tree out the window energy.
And she'll be in the corner like, why'd she do that? You know?You do!I know.So do I. I know!
It's okay, no, it would be Bo and Teddy who pushed the Christmas trees out the window and no matter what, we'd go to prison.
One million percent!You and me would go to prison.Because people would be like, obviously it was Stassi or Taylor Strecker.There's no way it was cellmates.Yep.
We'll be cellmates.We'll fucking rule the school, girl. Real talk, when you go to prison, if you have a friend there, are you able to switch a Rooney and bunk together?
So I'm not sure.I feel like all I know is from what I saw in the Menendez brother, Ryan Murphy show.But they were together.They were next to each other's cells.But then they devised a plan to escape prison.That was very silly.
But regardless, they said they have to be separated.And then when they sent them to prison prison, like after they were convicted, they sent them to literally different states. I cry.
That's sad.It's horrible.Okay, so I haven't seen it, so just like I can't, I don't, it's just like not my, it's not my- I feel like, yeah, it's very, very, very disturbing.
Talk about a trigger warning.
Yikes.No, thank you.But if you could choose who you get to bunk with in prison- Oh, we'd have the best time ever.We actually would.Totally.I mean, do you think that we would- You're forced to be a hermit. Not me.
Oh, I guess we don't get alone time if we're bunking together, but you know how to just leave me alone.No, I'll put a pillowcase over my head.You wouldn't need to do that.Just don't talk for a little while.Rub myself.Gladly.
Do you think that we would be the type to try and come up with a plan to escape?Or do you think we would be the type to make it our new home?Make it our new home.Lean in.We could build a fort.Decorate.
Get an arrow bed in there from commissary.What do you think we would talk about all day long without no influence from the outside world?
Sarah Jessica Parker. Just years and years and years up there just like a marker.No, I can't.
It's accurate.Oh my gosh.If I knew that I would go to prison with you, I could take it if I didn't have kids.
Me too.But back to the Christmas tree situation.I'm sorry that, okay, now I understand your plight. a little bit more that you can't get one after Thanksgiving.I think it's wrong, but it is what it is.I did, however, read.No.Saw TikTok.
It seemed very scientific.It seemed based off data.
Yeah. Oh yeah, everything you see on TikTok is literal fact.Collected data.And you can base important life decisions off 15 second videos you see on TikTok.
I'm just saying there was like, you know, they put on one of those songs that make it sound scientific.And so I'm like, this must be completely factual.Researched, you know.It said that people who decorate for the holidays earlier
are actually happier people in life. No way.But that had to be studied groups.
Could you imagine if you sign up for a study group, and they're just studying when you put up your Christmas decorations, your holiday decorations, and then they're monitoring your overall happiness for a few years?
And they're like, well, you're one of the happy ones because?I mean, think about it.You can't actually, that study, oh my god, it's definitely not true.Because there are so many other reasons why,
There are other environmental factors that contribute to why someone is or is not happy, so you can't isolate just that one thing, putting up holiday decorations early, and then make the assumption that... No, I'm gonna co-assign this, because here's the thing.
So, because this is something I've been very bad at my whole life, okay, is I'm very bad at celebrating myself.Like in terms of women's stuff.I'm sorry. You're bad at celebrating yourself?
Yes, like I never make a big deal out of anything.You take your birthday seriously.You're like, what trip are we going to plan today?No, no.
It's my birthday on that day. Oh, really?Oh, really?You're gonna bring that fight up?I never said that I wasn't.I never said that I didn't.I never said that I didn't.I just said... You don't celebrate your work wins?Fine, that's what I meant.
You don't celebrate... Let's take your birthday out of it.Okay, fine.Please, take my birthday out of it.The thing with my birthday is, I'm just like, it's my birthday, and I can.Like, I'm just having a tantrum on my birthday.That's not celebration.
That's an adult tantrum.Okay, fair.Fair, yeah, yeah.Yeah, fair.Okay. So I don't celebrate like work wins.And Tay is now, because she's like working with me full time, is like making me celebrate my work wins.And I feel so much happier in life.Okay.
So celebrating in general is a good thing.It breeds other happy thoughts and more success in life and work in general.
So if you are celebrating the celebrations and you are stretching out those celebrations, you're in the celebration, so therefore you're happier.
But then also allowing yourself to be celebrating when not everybody is celebrating is a good sign of self-confidence.
Oh, OK.I didn't realize we were going to go to self-confidence, but I'm here for it.I think that that is all completely accurate.
And you could even say that even the choice to, which you always do, Sames, but you even take this more seriously, to drink your wine or Prosecco out of the proper glass, boom. It feels celebratory.Thank you.It feels more fun.Yes.
It feels like you're letting yourself enjoy life a little more.Thank you.Instead of just like having a regular old glass, you know?You guys have two glasses in your house.
What?That I'm obsessed with.Oh, okay.I was like, I have multiple.You have two wine glasses that are my favorite.That are on the highest shelf.All the way up.Yeah.And every time, I exert self-control, but when we open that Lambrusco baby, okay?
No, no, shout out to Aveline Lambrusco. They don't ship it to New Jersey.
It literally ruins my entire life, okay?No, I know.So you ordered me six more bottles after you left because- Tell them why.Tell them why.You are a fucking monster.
This girl, the last night she was here, first of all, I'm happy to give you all the Limbrusco.You're very generous with your Limbrusco.
I'm very generous with it.
I want to state that for the record.Because I know you love it.I don't like when people are like, I'll have a glass. if they don't love it.
It's like, no, no, you're not, you don't get to have some of this unless you're just as obsessed as I am with it.
I will share a hundred percent of it with you because I know you love it just as much as I do.But this bitch on the last day that she was staying here a few weeks ago.
I went out, I literally I dragged myself into oblivion.I couldn't do it.I tried.
First of all, I thought we had ran out and she was like, I found one.I found one in your house.Do you think I could open it?Would you mind?And I was like, oh no, of course, open it.I didn't have any. So she poured herself a glass.One.
You guys leave one glass.You leave town the next day.And then I'm like, oh, like dinner rolls around.And I'm like, oh, Taylor opened that Lambrusco.I get to have some Lambrusco with dinner.I open my refrigerator.Full bottle.Un-fucking-corked.
which means it's a sparkling red wine, a nice sparkling red wine.So for 24 hours, this sat turning into a flat Diet Coke.You know what I mean?And I was like this. This can't be right.And I'm like, I'm not even gonna be nice to her right now.
I'm just gonna text her because she needs to know what she's done wrong.
Like, I will read it to everybody right now.I have it right in front of me.So it's a picture of the Abilene, okay, of the Lombrusco.And Stassi says, I'm going to skin you alive for pouring one glass of this and not the other.
putting a cork in it, and I, it didn't, I literally.
She was on the airplane when I sent it, because I kept checking to see if it was delivered, because I'm like, this bitch isn't responding.She's not responding.She needs to know what she's done is so absolutely wrong.
And I like landed and I'm like, oh my, oh, because here's the thing.I hope your blood ran cold.It did.The way I will throw Taylor Donahue out the window with her Christmas tree when this bitch doesn't cork, shit.
Now in my defense, y'all have one cork.Two. Where?
Oh, you just got one?No, not we just got one.We've always had two.We've always had two.
Here, I thought it was one.There's also a trick, though, that we use in the Stassi household.
You stick a spoon.Yes.If we happen to have multiple bottles open for some reason and the two corks are being used, you stick a spoon in it, and that helps to keep the fizz.
I know better.No, I deserved it.I know better.I had a brain fart.I had alcohol poisoning, self-induced, and I forgot.
And I would be mad at me, too, because when Tay forgets to cork the red wine or the Prosecco, I'm like, what is fucking wrong with you?You think money, you think wine just grows on trees?I get so mad at her.
Yeah, no, it was infuriating, especially because it was the last one, and I got so excited.You know how when you build yourself up, you realize something, you're like, there's an open bottle of Lombrusco in my refrigerator.
And I wait, and I'm like, I'm so excited to have that for dinner, and I open up the refrigerator, and it's flat. And it was it hurt so much.
I know but I had empathy.Yeah, but I said I'll skin myself for you Yeah, cuz I knew you sent me six bottles.
I did which I just finally finished last night Oh girl, and so I quickly I went to Aveline's website and I was like six more like a psychopath six more It is the best.Why were we talking about that?
uh glasses oh yes celebratory glasses and so i always want to use those glasses and i can see in bo's eyes he's like this bitch yeah and these fucking because they're hard to clean they're not they don't go in the dishwasher like i get it no it's okay we have them for a reason uh for me you know
For you and me, when we're together, because there's only two of us.There are glasses.But it makes life feel a little more fun.And this is why I don't like stemless wine glasses.I hate them.They look cute.Most people love stemless wine glass.
I get it.They don't break as easily, whatever.They're easier to handle.But they don't feel celebratory.It doesn't feel like as fun, like there's just no feeling like a stem.
Your wine deserves more.I agree.You're ruining your wine self-esteem by putting it in a stemless fucking glass.Those are for children!For children.Be an adult and get a fucking stem!
Real talk though, speaking of children and stemless glasses, I'm so annoyed with Bo because I realized Hartford only associates wine with me.So she sees wine and she's like, mommies, mommy loves it.
Like if she had to fill out one of those questionnaires at school, like what is your mommy loves?She'd write wine. She doesn't realize that Beau and I drink our wine together because Beau has those Italian jars that he drinks out of.
So not me looking like the alcoholic parent where it's like, mommy loves wine.So does Papa.So does Papa.It's unfair.So forever and ever until she's able to understand, she just says, She sees at a restaurant a glass of wine, mommy.
She doesn't say papa, doesn't say daddy, doesn't say beau.She says, mommy.I'm like, that is so unfair.And that's just because I like to celebrate my wine with a stem.Yeah, because you're getting punished.No good deed goes unpunished.Yeah.Well, damn.
Oh, man.My kids are just going to obliterate me, aren't they?
Yes, they are.It's crazy just how much truth they tell, you know?
Wait, I have a question for you.So I was just watching a Housewife episode, which I know you don't watch, but you know who Heather Dubrow is, obviously.
Yes, because I did watch Orange County back in the day.
Back in the day. So there's a new housewife on and she like kind of came in being like, Heather Dubrow calls the paparazzi to get pictures taken, which is like a storyline from last season that Heather was very mad about and she denied it.
And Heather even swore on her children that she never called the paparazzi on television, swore on her children.Whoa.
OK, whatever.But I have strong feelings about people who swear on children. It's a certain cast member on Vanderpump Rules did that and I will just like never forget it.
It's kind of, it's kind of the same energy as being willing to throw your Christmas tree out the window to hit a random person.
Oh Taylor is totally going to swear on our children's lives with her fingers crossed behind her back.Totally.She's already doing it now.I make her swear on her embryos, which is so psycho of me. That is really psycho.Okay.
So anyway, so there's that whole thing.So this new cast member and Heather do not get along.So this new cast member has a 19-year-old daughter who babysat another castmate's eight-year-old twin sons, okay?Okay.
And this 19-year-old daughter is all like, well, everybody knows Heather's mean.I mean, I even asked Emily's kids when I was babysitting them about like, tell me about all the, you know, about all the mommy's friends and which ones do you like?
And they said that they did not like Heather. Anyway, so Heather is really upset and like crying.I actually felt bad for her.Oh my god.
And so, but then everybody else, even Emily is like, Mike, we do, first of all, if I did talk shit about you, it would never be in front of my kids.Second of all, like, I did not say that.I did not say that in front of the kids.
So basically, my kids told me that This 19-year-old, she asked them, like, is it Heather me to your mommy?So now it's like, did the 19-year-old lie?Are the eight-year-olds lying?What's going on?
But did the 19-year-old lead the kids into that?Because the way that you ask the question influences If I were to ask Hartford, or if someone were to ask Hartford, what's your mommy like?
She wouldn't lead with mean, but if someone were to say, does your mommy mean to you?She might look at you and be like, oh, yes.And then start thinking of something where she thinks I'm being mean, because I told her no for something.
Exactly. So Heather said, but she was upset and she said, well, let's get real.Kids repeat what their parents say at home.Like, that's just the truth.And so, like, they're trying to say to Heather, like, that's it's not how it happened.
But Heather's like, well, but Avi, but you said something in front of the kids.Like, I don't know.I mean, what do you think?Or the babysitter.Or the babysitter.Or the babysitter.The babysitter is also so cool, right?
It's like, ooh, this cool older person who's not my parents.Yeah.Yes.But also,
It could have been the parents talking in front of their kids, too.Yeah.
Right?God, kids are such a tell.I'm so fucked when I have kids.They're going to tell all my fucking business.
No, you literally have to be so careful, like so careful what you say.Hartford picks up on everything.It's wild.You got to talk in code.
You have to talk in code.
You know actually one of my friends I was over her house and her daughter was like we had had ups and downs over the years and when we finally like started like on the men and hanging out with her and her husband and their kids the daughter was like a little I could like tell like she had like feelings about me because I was okay with it because I was like listen
Your mommy and I have not been in a good place for a while.Like, obviously, she thinks bad things about me.But as time went on, like, she would, like, she warmed up to me, whatever.But it was like, I don't know, not recently, but not that long ago.
And she said something like, oh, you're the one that mommy always talks about. And I was like, honestly, touche, I deserve it.But like, also fucking busted.Wow, you really can't talk in front of your kids.
No, yeah, I'm trying to think of like, any moments that where it's like, I think I make it a point not to say anything in front of Hartford.
Because if she'll You guys are good.You guys are good.You never talk about stuff in front of the kids.I'm thinking even back to the last trip.Well, we don't talk shit in front of the kids.In front of the kids.Yes.Let's finish that sentence.
We don't talk shit in front of the kids.Right. Right.
Well, but then you have me with my big-ass mouth, and I talk shit wherever I feel like it, so I have to start being more conscious because... So even in front of my nephews over the weekend, I was with them, and I said to my sister-in-law, Ashley, I was like, Ashley, you wanna know who is up my fucking butt like that?
Oh, God.And the kids were like, up my butt? And they're 10, 8, and like 6.And I'm like, oh no.And they were like, up the butt, up the butt.And I'm like, these little boys.I was like, you can't say that in school.
And then they're like, well, what does that mean?And I was like, it means somebody is obsessed with me in an annoying way.And then they were like this, mommy's up daddy's butt. And then one of them was like, I'm up daddy's butt.
Cause it's like obsessed.Who are you obsessed with?And then they were like, they were like, this was obsessed with it.This was up aunt Teddy's butt.It was the funniest, but I was like, oh no.And I was like, don't tell daddy said that.
The second dad got home, dad, you're up mommy's butt.I was like.
Oh my God.So lessons learned.Oh my God.That's so, no, I'm dealing with Hartford repeating stories right now.I know I already told this story on the good, the bad, the baby, but like different audience, whatever.
Hartford, I've been letting her come and cuddle with me in bed.We'll do my face routine, we'll do my skincare, I'll wash my face, then we'll get in bed and she'll watch a little bit of a period piece show with me.
And I had my fucking limb bruise go with the stem on my nightstand.I'm like, okay Hartford. Get tucked in, whatever.
I have my blanket over on the side of my bed, like my Barefoot Dreams really soft one that I don't let anybody else touch because I want it to remain soft.
So I literally fold it up immediately after usage and put it over the side of my bed so no one else touches it.And so we get all tucked in.I'm like, Alexa, turn off light one.Alexa, turn off light two.The candle is lit.It's a vibe.
And I go to grab my blanket. And the wine glass goes flying, shatters, red sparkly limbers go everywhere.Hartford starts crying, saying, I'm so sad.I'm so sad.Why did that happen?She can't stop staring at it.
I couldn't, it looked like I fully traumatized her.I don't know if it's because it looked like blood or because I'm like, you can't step foot on the ground.Like you cannot.And so the whole thing, she was so scared for the remainder of the night.
And I'm like, Arford, I'm like, in my brain, I'm like, she already thinks that I'm the only wine drinker in this house. Now she's gonna go to school and talk about how mommy breaks her wine glasses and that she was so sad.
And so I'm like, Hartford, in bed.And I'm like, Hartford, it was the blanket.Hartford, it was the blanket.And she goes, what?And I'm like, it's the blanket.She goes, who did this?I'm like, the blanket.Never forget, the blanket.
Beau comes to help me and he's like, what happened?And I'm like, Hartford, what happened?And she's like, the, I'm like, the blanket.
The blanket did it Harford So I think I've I got it handled and I think I've like try like drilled in her head enough Which honestly it was the fucking blanket.
I was careless with the blanket The next day my mom comes over to the house and She sees us pour wine and all this or we went downstairs and we had our wine and she stops dead in her tracks No stares at us And you could just see her wheels turning.
She was just like, I remember what happened.And she looks at, she's like, Grandma, the glass broke.And I had to tell her the story.And then I'm like, she definitely told her teachers.She definitely told her friends.
She just told my mom, which I don't care, my mom, whatever.But that was just confirmation that she's telling everyone who will listen.
And so now, whenever I have my wine glass with the stem in front of her, she looks at me and she goes, Mommy, don't break it.
Mommy, don't break it! They never forget.They're like little encyclopedias of all of your mistakes.It's so irritating.
So, like, I can't ever do that again.Like, I can't ever... Oh, my God.I can't... If I accidentally have a wine glass break again, that will become, like, just, like, in her brain a part of who I am.
My mom, she just walks around breaking wine glasses in her bedroom.It's such a bad, without context, it's a bad look.It sounds so... No wire hangers!
It's 8 o'clock in the morning, you got your martini, and you're just fucking breaking glasses all over the place.
Literally!Oh, it's so good.I'm concerned for myself.I'm gonna have no mom friends.Good, fuck them.I love you.
Just how I want it.Just how I want it.
I gotta let you go. No.I know.I felt like we were just getting started.I know.We should just host a podcast together.OK.It sucks that we would have to just like split the profits 50-50.So that means we would make less money.That's what sucks.
That is what sucks.Yeah, if it meant less, if it wasn't about less money, I'd say let's join our evil forces.
We are gonna figure out a way to do it so that way, but we can still make the money.We have to do it in a way where we make our money separately, but then we do something together where we make the money together.
Right, just like add another thing to the to-do list, right?No.It's like, I just wish we could combine forces.It's just, it's unfortunate.
Don't worry.We have a long road ahead of us.We do.We do.You guys, if you want to go listen to Taylor on her podcast, Taste of Taylor, she just did a full rebrand.Her artwork is It's fucking incredible.I'm so jealous of it.I love it.It is stunning.
It is timeless.It is chic.It's giving everything that you are.Oh, thank you!And you have a daily show.
If you want to listen to Taylor every fucking day, you can.Wait. They're combined.Okay, yeah.Taste of Taylor is now the whole thing.So Taste of Taylor is now technically Monday through Friday.But like there are variations with like Patreon and stuff.
So you can listen Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday to a little bit of Taste of Taylor full episode comes out on Thursday.And then Friday is for Patreon only but also Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday full shows also for Patreon only.
You are a hard working gal.Thank you, queen.I appreciate it.And if you want to watch this episode, you can go to patreon.com slash Stassi and watch it there or listen to it ad free, whatevs.Yeah, watch me blink.
Watch me blink over and over and over again.I never noticed that. I'm working on it.You know what I think it is?I've gotten to the bottom of it.
I think I have bad eye contact, which I know I have bad eye contact, and I think that if I can work on my eye contact, I can dissipate the blinkies.You have bad eye contact?Yeah, people have said it to me my whole life.They'll go like this.
I'll be talking to them, like new people, and they'll be like, what?And I'm all, what?And they're like, is something on my shirt?And I'm like, huh?Or they'll be like, do I have something on my face?And I'm like, huh?
Wait, something weird with my hair?And I'm like, what are you talking about?And they're like, you just keep looking over here.So I have bad eye contact.Oh, we gotta work on that.Eye contact is important.
You have good, Taylor Donahue said, you and Beau have fantastic eye contact, she said.Really?Really.She actually said that?
She actually said it when we got back from our last trip and Tay was like, something I realize I have to work on is eye contact.And I was like, oh my God, I have shitty eye contact.
She said your eye contact doesn't waver ever like you always have this like she said you have eye contact of a movie star Okay, I thought you were gonna say serial killer, but that oh, so sorry insult you no like meaning cuz like when I think of like people with like crazy good eye contact they Tend to be scary
No, it's good.It's a good thing.Okay.Like there is such a thing that there, you know, too much of a, of a good thing.Like it's too much eye contact is a little, you know, it's confident and it's connective.It's good.Thank you.
You know what?You just made my day.That just made me feel really good about myself. Well, you deserve to feel good about yourself, you blanket wine glass breaker.Fuck my life.OK.Love you.Love you.Bye.
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