Welcome to Corolla Classics, I'm your host, superfan Giovanni.This is the podcast where we play the best moments, highlights, and fan-selected clips from all 15 years of the Adam Corolla Show.
We have a companion podcast with a bonus episode that airs every Sunday, titled Corolla Classics.While the archive is exclusively available via Adam Corolla's Substack, make sure to subscribe.
There's lots of other bonuses, including early episode drops, and a brand new podcast titled Beat It Out with Jay Moore.If you'd like to request a clip, please email us, classicsatadamcorolla.com.
And you are not going crazy, this is a Friday Corolla Classics, finally. The thing people have been begging for since Adam Carolla's show switched to four days per week.Why is there dead air and no Carolla classics?Do you guys hate money?
Giovanni, are you very lazy?No.Maybe the first part, not the second part. You demanded it, now we're releasing it.And this episode is actually in response to last week's episode and some unfortunate news that took place this past week.
Last weekend I specifically put in a clip of Jim Carolla on Carolla Classics after hearing about Adam having to change some plans due to some health concerns of his several months back. He's a very great magnet.
I had a random concern for his health and decided to put the clip in.He unfortunately passed away on Monday of last week.The episode we featured last weekend was Jim Carolla, Ray Oldhoffer, and Sonny, along with Adam.Kind of a one-time only event.
It was Jim Carolla, his son, his grandson, and his lost boy, Ray.Man, he gave therapy to for over a decade.I was very connected to him.It was kind of like Jim Carolla and his three boys.
It was very fitting and a beautiful tribute that we didn't know would essentially be a eulogy for the man the day before he passed away.
In the spirit of celebrating his life and his on-air interactions with his son, this entire episode of Corolla Classics is themed around Jim Corolla.Adam has a lot of funny raps and stuff about his dad and how involved he was.
We couldn't really do this episode for his mother, because she didn't have enough content on air.
While she contributed a bit to the Kalis X Morning Show towards the beginning, when she played the game against Dave Damashek's mother, Moe Damashek, in a trivia showdown to see who knew more about the Adam Krola show.
Of course, Moe Damashek, Dave Damashek's mother, won.And Adam Krola's mother said, how do you expect me to possibly know that?
Jim Crow, on the other hand, contributed quite a bit to Adam's on-air broadcasting history, first appearing on Classic Loveline episode 192 back in 1996 along with Dr. Bruce. Dr. Drew was conspicuously absent that night, unfortunately.
It's a classic episode.He's in rare form.It's the earliest we ever hear Jim Carolla on air with Adam, unless there's a Kevin Bean bit we're not familiar with.
Jim would go on to guest appear on the Adam Carolla Morning Show, as well as the 2005 Adam Carolla Project on TLC, featuring him buying, remodeling, and selling his childhood home, taking it off his father's hands.
He was quite featured in that series.And then he came on to the 2006 Morning Show.And then 2007, he appeared in Thanksgiving episode with Danny Bonaduce. He was the co-host at the time. He brought his trumpet, they had a really fun morning.
There was some scatting, some old stories.Teak McLukes and some crazy drops were coined that day.Teak McLukes being a character that he references from his life that nobody probably remembers at this point.
Jim Carolla even revealed that he had a Mr. Bertram-esque character he was attempting to do on the radio well before Adam was ever born.
In the spirit of all those classic stories, Jim Carolla's life, celebrating everything he brought to this world, including Adam Carolla.Coming up first, we have Adam Carolla Show 241, Jim Carolla from 2009 in his own words. Check it out.
My name is Jim Carolla.I'm Adam Carolla's father, one distinction.And tonight I'd like to... Oh, you heard the introduction.I'm a funny combination of being Adam Carolla's father, number one, in that order.
Number two, I'm a psychotherapist in private practice in Sherman Oaks, about to retire.I'm 79, going on 80.
So I'm really glad for this opportunity to... I do a little lecturing around, so I'm glad for this opportunity to speak to maybe a larger group.
So tonight I'm going to talk about the search for the stranger inside us, what I'm more calling a permanent self, and the differentiation between what psychology calls a false self and a more authentic self, or that permanent self.
So we'll start the search at the foundational level. self-development.
So I want to start with just taking the lower part of that, the neonatal area, birth, infancy, maybe up to toddlerhood, and not the technical way, just to try to understand that from this foundation there are seeds that are planted that in adult development these seeds begin to really show themselves.
So I want to go right to the foundation before we move on to other things in this talk.So the neonatal.So this is a part, this is a fetus.
And a good analogy for the neonatal is that it's like if you live in an apartment house where you have an above apartment and below the apartment and all the emanations and radiations that come down from the upper go into the lower
Those impressions, that's the same thing with the fetus.
What's coming up in the upper floor, with the mom, mostly, and dad, and family, is now being vibrated to the fetus, particularly mother and her tensions, or whatever the emotional stuff is going on between father and mother.
And anyway, all that's coming down in layers of what I'm calling the neonatal fetus development. And according to how that's going and how that material is, there's a certain kind of intrauterine bonding is going on.That's the first bonding.
So that's a very important time.The bonding at that level before touch and gaze and emotive part comes.This is just by vibration.And if it's difficult at that time, then layers of impressions are laid down
into what I'm going to be calling an encoding of the fetus before it's even born.The next level is birth.A lot is written in psychology about birth.Birth is a time when, it's kind of a time where the water bag breaks and and a new world begins.
It happens right at this birth time.And one of the main points at the birth line I would like to make is that this is the first prolonged emotional and physical shock the child undergoes.This is the child's first introduction.
to that kind of physical and emotional shock.So it becomes like almost a model later on, at least a seed's planted for the model of how we will handle shocks and traumas surrounding the birth.And according to how that goes, if it's pretty rough,
then that could be the beginning of a lifetime careers of overeating, smoking, alcoholism, and any form of splitting and addiction.So the education and the tool into the world of self, one is involved with the bodies of others.
First, the doctor and all that situation that goes on in the birth room, The seeds are being planted there, either way, for good or bad.I mean, for poor stability or less stability.
And then the baby now comes into a second kind of bonding, which is gesture, gaze, and touch. And this bonding here, particularly if the first bonding is how that went, but anyway, this bonding is kind of the crucible for self-formation.
We're right now coming to the real, coming right down to the real important part.
Thus a split opens up a real, if a split occurs here between the harmony, the baby's needs, the mother is out of harmony for the baby's needs, then a kind of split occurs, a fault, sometimes called in psychology a basic fault.
And this split and this fault kind of like produces a hole that for the rest of our lives we're trying to fill that hole.So it's a very important time called the crucible for what self-formation could be.So the themes in this
journey, the interweaving of the disciplines I told you about.I think I have.Anyway, clinical psychology, developmental psychology, neurobiology, and a kind of I call a spiritual wisdom traditions of different kinds of traditions.
And to reach this permanent self, we must contact the group of selves that have replaced it.In other words, when things go wrong in this level, kind of structures begin to form.
And those structures kind of affect other structures that are coming up and developing.So if there's depression and sadness, or if there's disassociation or anxiety or fear, kind of structures build around them.
And then as we go up in development, those structures meet other structures and influence them. Selves begin now.
We must gradually decrease those selves, meaning those selves meaning kinds of habits and tendencies and different kinds of addictions may form under that.Powerful habits can come from that. and to reach what they are covering up.
So first we need to begin to see them more clearly, and I'll make this more clear as we go along, that, remember, disharmony of the baby's needs with mother, as though they're dancing to two different beats in that dance.
If baby needs a foxtrot and mother's doing a samba, things get out of whack. And the body-mind needs to be available.Now, what's out of whack is also the communication with the baby and sometimes the split between the body and mind.
So that split that can occur, it's a split that begins to occur in a lot of different areas.But it does in relationships, it does in our own instrument itself, between body and mind.
It could be between mother and family or father, and eventually in other relationships also.So this is the seeding ground for this search. We've got to, we're going to talk about, we must see this body-mind.
We must be able to begin to see the kind of selves that are there.I'm calling the selves that come from that our lower mind. ordinary mind, more lower mind.So we'll need to do a search into that.
The self-preoccupation of the body-mind needs to be seen by a fine kind of attention now. So what doesn't work a lot of times in our life really preoccupies us.We feel kind of an itch, a buzz, and we're trying to scratch that itch.
And also produces a kind of an emotional reactivity. and that, of course, at the time the baby's not aware of, but kind of an agitation may come, a disassociation may come from it.Things begin to form at that time in life.
Okay, so those are the themes I'm going to be doing, and I said the neonatal, that important part about the above house, the apartment,
And also in the study of the neonatal, it's found that there's 20 involuntary reflexes have been identified in the newborn, as it's just coming into the newborn, controlled by the brainstem, are gradually inhibited and replaced by the cortical circuits.
Now here's the part of the brain that, and I don't want to get into this too much yet, circuits control voluntary suffering.
So we go from the stem brain involuntary into the cortical circuitries now, the other part of the brain, to a voluntary behavior begins to come from that.And that little journey is very important with mother because mother is going through that.
Of course, the baby comes in with his involuntary flexes and they're encoded, those layers inside himself are encoded in the infant and mother must gradually, in her dance with him, assist the baby in early childhood development by decoding
those reflexes as baby's brain chemistry goes more cortical.
In other words, mom's really there, and she's like decoding, she's finding what the baby needs, the way it needs to be held, it needs to be touched, and it's relieving the stress on the baby in this new world, the new world this baby's in.
These reflexes are designed to connect the baby to the mother physically.In other words, it's reaching,
grabbing and holding on the way you might see in the primate world where the baby monkey grabs on to the mother and though she climbs the trees and goes in all directions, the baby holds on.So the reflexes are all designed for that, holding on.
So the infant and the mother.Now the second part is that now there's the importance of the eyes, the gaze.The eyes are the primary point of orientation for infants.You remember the taxi driver with De Niro?He was always looking in the mirror.
I forget that line he says. Something like, do you see me?Do you see me?And he would wear different costumes and wear glasses.Do you see me?Do you see me?That's kind of the do you see me I'm talking about, like from Taxi Driver.
The eyes are, the point is the eyes are a primary point of orientation for the infants. And to be really seen is to be born.If you're not seen at this level, we walk around all our life trying to prove we exist through being seen.
looks of disapproval or disgust from adults while the toddlers in the state of arousal results in the experience of shame.We begin to develop things.The baby can now read the face, the affect of the parents, and begins to copy the face.
So if the face is sad, it takes on a sad face or a happy face.
And because shame can be neurobiologically toxic, in other words, there's a whole neurobiology part going on at the same time, particularly for older infants, so that the infants then can't get the
the chemicals they need, the endorphins, the endorphins they need to relax and be safe, that's what that endorphin does, because they're getting the wrong affect from the parent.
So you can see it's a combination of what's going on at the level of appearance, with particularly mother, and the power of tactile, the stuff, the power of the gaze, the look, and also then the emotive and emotional and movement.
It's all going on at the same time.It's kind of a complex thing.But all the time it's going on, there's seeds being laid down to go into a continuation development. So eye contact is a powerful tool in both child rearing and psychotherapy.
The child constantly checks to see the expression on the parent's face.This is one of the ways that he knows he's kind of there.But the parents, he's now in touch with the parent's internal world.
The parent's internal world is then automatically transferred to the child.The meeting of the eyes is the direct passage back to the early bonding experiences.That's why it's difficult in life sometimes.
at that level about really looking into the eyes.The primates have the same thing.They'll look away.Looking straight into the eyes in the primate world, which we have that inside us, begins to produce in the brain different kinds of
authority and demand for fighting or mating.So the eyes play a very important point in this area.
And I think about the primates in the zoo, that hundreds of thousands of people are gazing at them and maybe what they're going through with all that eye-looking, since for them it could be a power play of dominance. So the eyes mean a lot.
And again, the primary point of that, what I'm calling the orientation.To really be seen is to be born.
So if you're not seen or seen in a superficial way or an anxious way, then for the rest of our lives, we're looking for a way to be born, to find our roots, to roots in that.Okay, let me just sum up my time.
Let me kind of sum up for our first talk together. Number one, a rootedness has been impinged upon at this period I'm talking about, neonatal, birth, early childhood, infanthood, in the early development.
that spurned a lot of different effects, defenses, addictions, different kinds of things have been spurned on when this rudeness was challenged, not challenged, but not supported. And out of that grew different defenses and different selves.
And sometimes an infant neurosis comes from that.So damage at the level of basic orientation, body, mind, and emotion, is all going on in these three areas of development that I've been talking about.
And later on I'll get into more subtleties of that, but just to get the general idea.
So, number two, we are born with higher forces in us, but we can't utilize what could be higher due to the psychological state that we're in, the state of general uprootedness.
Damage at the level of orientation to our rootedness doesn't allow a real eye to form and a lot of preoccupation and defense and camouflage form in its place.
And number three, we must first see the psychological obstacles that stop us from freeing this real I from the prison of habits, tendencies, addictions of the false self or more of the ordinary mind of personality.
And number four, one of the major obstacles that formed during early childhood is this uprooting.Now we spend the rest of our life trying to find out and find out what it would be rooted.
Rooted in a relationship, rooted in a love relationship, rooted in God, rooted somewhere.So we feel more safe and relaxed in the rooting.
And number five, our search goes beyond just personality, or repair of personality, or adjustment of personality, but a repair of the whole ruptured continuum.This is very cosmic now, it's more than personality.
the continuum of eruption, that through the child the continuum is going on.In other words, to do with existence, not just personality analyzing.Ontological, to do with existence.The higher forces of evolutionary continuum
leading to larger existence, and that's the main thing, this understanding this rupture and beginning to reroute it brain-wise, body-wise, for preparation for possibly a larger existence than just personality and ego.Okay, so this is part one.
And you see, I'm just trying to lay a foundation in very early development and follow from a rootedness to rootedness.And that last thing I said about the rupture continuum, I'd like to go further into that in our next time.
The implications of what it means and what it feels like to have something that's broken and ruptured and split and what that does emotionally to us.And it's almost as though we're knocked off our feet, our balance is lost.
And the next time, I want to talk about kind of finding that balance and a little more the repair of a continuum.So I hope to see you next time.
All right, that was Adam Carolla Show 241 with Jim Carolla.Coming up next, we have Adam Carolla Show 454.It's Jim Carolla, Brian Bishop.This one's from 2010.Just the two of them in studio with Adam.
Another classic example of Adam and his dad's chemistry on air.And showcasing another episode where Jim Carolla was heavily featured.Hope you guys enjoy.
Yeah, get it on.Got to get it on.No choice but to get it on.Mandate, get it on.Happy Thanksgiving, everybody.Good day, Bald Brian.
Yeah, good day.Dad.Dad's here and he's brought his horn.Dad, were you confused by the drop of your own voice?Play the one that everyone thinks is you saying, hell yeah.
Now, I've tried to tell people that the phrase hell yeah has never passed your lips.
Have you ever said the phrase, hell yeah, regarding anything?
I mean, even when the Eagles scored a touchdown in the Super Bowl in 1977, did you say hell yeah?
I've never seen you pump your fist, or go hell yeah, or god damn that's right, or high fives all the way around. Not you, right?
I mean, I've pumped my fist and I'm glad the team scored.Yeah, I get very excited about it.
Back when Red Grange scored for the old Washington Senators in 1931.But I mean, Dad, you're not a demonstrative guy.Hell, I try to explain to people you did not say, hell yeah.You said, uh, yeah.That's not you saying, hell yeah.
That voice that's saying that, you're saying it's not me?
But you never said, hell yeah.Hell yeah.You said, ah yeah.You were saying, ah yeah.But you've been saying hell yeah.I try to explain to strangers that you don't say hell yeah.
Yeah.I don't know.I might have said hell yeah.
Yeah.I don't think so.All right.
I'm just saying.I've known you for 46 years.I've never seen you or heard you say hell yeah.Hey, Dad, you want to feel old?Hell yeah.Your youngest son is going to put reading glasses on to do a spot for Jeremiah Weed. Oh, great.
This Turkey Day, Jeremiah Weed reminds you to forget about the old-fashioned Southern tradition and focus on the new turducken.How do you do the turducken?Very easy.You prepare it with Jeremiah Weed.How does that work?
Jesus Christ, I have no idea, but it sounds delightful.
Oh, this is why the terrorists hate us. We took an owl and we stuffed it into a turkey.A bourbon-soaked three-bird.Oh my god.John Madden would go insane.
Visit Jeremiah Weed's Facebook page and find out all about the world-famous Jeremiah Weed turducken recipe.Either way, love me some Jeremiah Weed and thank you.Yes, especially that cherry mash.My favorite.90 proof.
The wife likes the vodka that's got... iced tea, vodka, nothing better.And good people, good folks, spent some time with them, and a hell of a product.So, Jeremiah Wheaton.Again, check out that turducken.
Just go to Facebook at Jeremiah Wheaton and check it out.All right.I don't know where I should start.Should I start complaining?Why wait? All right.Remind me to talk about The Soup, which is a show I was supposed to do today that I didn't do.
Not today, Thanksgiving.We taped this the day before.But, Dad, let's talk about you for a second.What was Thanksgiving like for you back in the day?
Let's see. When we were talking about the group that came over from Sicily, well, we all kind of ended up in a very small neighborhood, barely on the 15th Street in South Philadelphia.
Most of the families were there in Paisan, so within that one street, maybe two, there were all these people, all these folks from overseas. And we would have it in all different people's houses.
The aunts, my father, there were five sisters and my father was the only male.And these were women that were great cooks.And they would make quite mostly, not so much turkey I would say.
It's like an Italian, let's see what you call it, it's like a brejol.It's kind of beef rolled up with a stuffing inside.
Yeah, sure, brejol.And they do that fish that I can't think of the name of right now that's sort of a... Bacala?Bacala, where they do the bacala. Yeah, so they do a sort of Italian feast.
Now what happened, Adam, I'm very curious about this, because you grew up in a traditional environment, around people that cooked, and cooked well, as you just mentioned, yet as an adult you seemed to shun women that cooked.
Or had no interest in it yourself.I mean, like, I remember dinner growing up, you'd have some cottage cheese with some raisins in it, and like a little honey on top.Most guys,
You know, they want some pot roast or some potatoes or, you know, for dinner.And I mean, not we weren't camping and it wasn't breakfast time for dinner.A lot of guys want a steak. You know what I'm saying?Or even if they're trying to eat healthily.
They still want some chicken breast or some fish or something.You're always a guy that seemed to just eat like granola with some cottage cheese and a little stream water on there.And I thought, what is weird?You had no sort of eating requirements.
Oh yeah.Is that accurate?
Well, I'm really thinking of it now.I ate lighter as I got older.But you never said, like, we're going out for a steak.No, not steak.No.
Or anything, really.We never went, like, I'm starving.We're going out.We're eating big tonight.I busted my ass this week.
Yeah, no, I didn't.I kind of... Why not?
Yeah, I was hungry, but I kind of learned, I guess, to make do with what was there.
But there wasn't anything there.That's what I'm trying to explain.
Well, do you mean when we were in the family or when I was on the mail?
I just mean like, in general, you managed to somehow steer away from dinner. Like, I mean, just like saying, you know, we're going out, we're eating, I'm firing up the barbecue.Did you ever fire up a barbecue?
Very rarely?Did you own a barbecue?
But, I mean, a lot of people have, you know, they love it.They love to eat.They love to go out.You're not that person, right?
No, not really.I'd rather be home.
Not eating though, right?
Yeah, let's take tonight.
For example, I was alone, Lynn was out, her family's from Portland, and she picked them up at the airport, and I was pretty much by myself, thinking, well, what shall I eat tonight, occurred to me, and this is what I decided.
I looked in the refrigerator, and there was some bologna, and I cooked a couple slices of bread.
I made a sandwich, and I had a little leftover spaghetti from the night before, and I heated that up, and a couple of graham crackers.
Graham crackers.Right, that's what I mean, it was sort of like what a raccoon would do if he got into the house.
But I mean, you never went like, hey man, we're eating Chinese, and we're doing it tonight, I want some of that sweet and sour duck, you know, or whatever.It was always just kind of, to survive.
Yeah, I mean, I don't know if it's just to survive, but what I ate I liked, even if it was granola or, I don't know, hamburger.I don't really eat hamburgers.
Yeah, right.And yeah, food is, and particularly as I get older, it even gets more so, not a strong special interest in it.I mean, I like something good, I make something for myself sometimes, but I like scrambled eggs and in other words, very
I'm eating more simply as I get older.
Oh, no, Dad, this has been going on for a while now.You may think this is something that's just come on.
Well, it's going... whatever it is going further, then.
Yeah.You're going to have, like, a bowl of dust and a melted ice cube.You're about five years away from that, and that's dinner.That's Thanksgiving.So my dad managed to marry women that sort of shared his disdain for food or at least something.
I don't know what happened.How did you come from that place where all that food was going around and all the women were in the kitchen cooking and all the Italian food to have some tarragon and some non-fat cottage cheese?
I also at that time weighed 240 pounds.So maybe there was an issue there.
Yeah, I mean otherwise I was encouraged to eat and I was eating a lot and I was getting obese and it took me a lot of years to get the eating thing even down to a way that I wouldn't be overeating and gaining weight and so on.
Did you know this by the way?
That he was fat?Yeah.Yeah, I knew he was fat.The idea that somebody sort of broke you and your relationship with food early on is good, but it didn't pay dividends for me.I like to eat.That's what happened.
And I could never figure out what the hell was going on because I always felt like somehow you never had that relationship with dinner.
I never saw you eat bacon and scrambled eggs or say, I want a lumberjack stack of pancakes for breakfast or something.It was always just little bits and pieces here and there.It never seemed like food was your thing.
My curse was I was never not hungry.And Dad, I think you were always full or something. I don't know what the hell was going on.
And then my dad married two women that essentially didn't cook, but he didn't, he wasn't into it, so it was a match made in heaven, right?
Lynn goes to Gelson's for Thanksgiving.
Yeah, well, you may not think, oh, you're just talking about Thanksgiving, but in general.
Well, I'm saying that ain't cooking.I mean, that's not a, someone who loves cooking goes nuts on Thanksgiving.
Yeah, she's made a few, but if you talk about food in general, nightly food, Lynn, I mean, she buys takeout things, but she's very tasteful.I mean, she buys good takeout food.Yeah.
Yeah, so I mean, that's the problem with Lynn as far as cooking, but she's not a cook in a sense.She could if she really wanted to, and from time to time has cooked Thanksgiving dinner.
One year when I went over to their house for Thanksgiving, I went to the Gelson's and bought a turkey breast because Dad had got a honey-baked ham and I wasn't down with that.
Honey-baked ham is fine, but no burden in addition to that?
No bird.No bird, just a honey-baked ham.
The ham and the bird together are fine, but the bird must be there.
Bird must be there.And then another time, we went to Vince and Pat's, I brought my own cranberry sauce, because I was not going with the canned shit that Pat was digging out of a can.But that, am I nuts, or am I right?
Well, you tend to jump to conclusions.You get some kind of half facts down and you really build something on that.For example, you don't think I'm a sports fan.
You don't think, you know, if you would see me watching a Clippers game on a Monday night and see me jumping out of the chair, you know, that poor team that never wins a game.
Yeah.And I'm really rooting for them and so on.And as a whole, You don't know a part of me that likes sports, that watches sports.
I played sports for 10 years.
You never liked sports.You assumed that.No, I always liked sports.Alright.
I never knew it.We never discussed it.
Yeah, well, were you up to what was going on as far as the NBA in the early days?Were you following any of that stuff?
I was playing football.We never talked about it really.
Well, I don't know if we never talked about football.
It wasn't really a topic. I just assumed you'd like it.
Oh, no.I've been hooked on sports.On football?Not football.Yeah, every sport.I mean, basketball mostly.It's getting worse now.Baseball.I followed the old athletics when I was a kid, when Connie Mack ran the athletics at Shide Park in Philadelphia.
But you like football on the pro level, not anything lower than that.Right.
That's right.More on the pro level.
All right, well, if it got to the show, maybe that would have done something.
The only thing worse than not caring at all is like, oh, yeah, I was a big football fan back then.Didn't feel much like talking to you about it.
Dad, we didn't talk.We didn't have any real football related discussions.I mean, past an eighth grade or something.
I don't know.I mean, if you remember it that way, I don't know.
I could have, I may have gotten a scholarship to play football somewhere at some point.Work that out.All right, Dad, tell us, this is a shock to me that you're a big sports fan. Yeah.And a Clippers fan, too.A Clippers fan.Why the Clippers, Dad?
I don't know.I don't know, but I got onto them early and I haven't been able to get rid of them.But did you see the game?The last night game?
No, nobody saw that game.You were the only person that saw the game.
They played New Orleans 11 and 1, and they're 1 and 13.Oh, Bill Simmons saw the game, yeah.
He's a season ticket holder.
And it was a great game.It was very exciting.All right.Yeah.
All right.And who's your football team?
Of course, for years it was the Eagles.I grew up in Philadelphia, and we used to go on Sundays.Sure.Yeah.The Eagles was my team.
You know the name of the North Hollywood football team?
The bear?No, that's a dog.Wait a minute, I can picture it.The Hollywood hounds?No.Hollywood some... I can see a picture of it, but I can't... Bulldogs or something?
That's close enough.All right, I'm just checking.All right, so Dad, let's talk about your family growing up.Let's talk about Thanksgiving. what that meant to you.
You guys would go out, you'd have the big feast, and at a certain point, you come out here to Southern California.You get married, and then what's Thanksgiving turn into?
Well, the California Thanksgiving all had to do with Chris and her parents.It seemed like we had it at her house a lot.You went to the grandparents' house.Grandparents' house.Yeah. Lotsie and Helen.I didn't really have any family.I had Vince.
I had a cousin of Vince.And sometimes we went there.But mostly Lotsie and Helen, I really stand out.
At the grown-ups' table and at the kids' table.
My mom.Dad, you hear that voice?Oh, boy.Play a couple of those.Let's hear it.
How should I know? Mmm, how would I know that?Yeah, how can you possibly expect me to answer that?
Yeah Wow really brings up some feelings Yeah, hear that voice.Mm-hmm.That's but that's after 30 years of therapy That's not when you had our pops that first one one more time how would I know that I Yeah.
She should have had a flag made up and flown it over the house and said, how could I know that?
You know what that was, Dad?Do you know what that game was?We played, I think the first year we were on the radio, we played a little trivia with her.And we asked her questions.She played Damaschek.You don't know who Damaschek is, do you?
How do you know Damaschek?
I remember him from the radio show.Wow.
played Damoshek's mom, who lived out of state, played Chris in a trivia competition.And every single question that was asked of her was, how would I, how could I?Nobody would.And then Damoshek's mom would give the answer a beat and a half later.
Never quite seemed right.Did you ever ask her a question that she ever answered?
She must have answered, not that I can think of any.
I asked her one time, I said, how much does my stepdad John make a year?And she said, how should I know?I said, well, I said, I'm rich.I don't want any money.I'm a rich guy, but I'm just ballpark, just curious.
But just, is it 50 grand or is it 100 grand?How would I know that?I was just like, you don't know how much your husband of 20 years makes a year?How should I know?
I was like, Mom, I'm not asking down to the penny and I don't, I'm not a junkie who needs to, I'm trying to get some money off you.I'm a rich guy.
How can you possibly expect me to answer that?
Just give me a ballpark, ballpark.No, no way.Now here's the question.Lying or doesn't know?What do you think?Ask a psychologist.
I think she, I think she doesn't know.
She doesn't know how much her husband of 20 years and a job that he's been at for 35 years makes when he's the sole income provider for the house.Do you think she doesn't know?
You know, there's a chance she may not know.That never came up.
What's worse, lying or not knowing?
So you think, no, you're a gambling man.
Could be.It could be that it was never said, she never asked, and he never sold it.
Doesn't she have to fill out paperwork?Doesn't she have to sign, you know, the taxes, tax returns and stuff?
I don't know. How would I know?How should I know?
Yeah, a fountain of information.So, you came out here and we toggled between Helen and Lotsie's place and also the Bruno's place.Your cousin, Vince.
Now, what happened with Vince?Was there something in the drinking water or something?Like, what was... Vince is a laid-back guy.I like Vince a lot, but Vince had this old-world sort of Italian, eh, I don't feel like working, kind of thing.
Like, is there some cultural thing?Was your dad this way?Where it's like the ladies worked and the guys played pinochle? Vince seemed to come from that.
I think Vince early rebelled against being put into the system of the tailor shop.
He didn't rebel against his wife going to work every day.
You don't have such a problem with that. I don't think he had any problem with that, but I don't know.
He's generally, though, and here, he early started to, like, tend barn, do things on weekends, and he had one period where he worked, oh God, what was that?And he worked at some large market in Philadelphia.
But he said it wasn't for him early on, right?
Yeah, and he's gotten by, his wife.
Well, he hasn't gotten by, she got by for him.
They did it together like somebody pushes the car and the other guy steers.
Well, she would have to agree to it.
She didn't want him to work.Was your dad that way at all?
Well, my father really tried to make it as a musician and really didn't work a day job.This was like in the 30s in my growing up.It was a terrible depression.Nobody was working, but he wouldn't have worked anyway.
Well, that's the thing.What do you mean he wouldn't have worked anyway?
I mean, he didn't have a craft that he would do.The only thing he knew was that trombone and playing the trombone.He didn't have any skill or anything else. My mother was a hard-working woman, worked in the sweatshops.
Until the war, so the 30s were generally terrible.I was using that term the other day, sheriffs out.I don't know if they use that term.
Sheriffs out?Yeah, sheriffs out.Sheriffs out, yeah.Michael Moore knows how that works. Yeah, the sheriffs show up and evict you, essentially.
Yeah, because you ran out of money.In fact, that was a line that was used all the time.You know, we're going to be sheriffed out unless we can do this.
It's now gay slang, by the way.Brian will tell you after the show exactly what it entails.
Better yet, I'll show you.
Better yet, but don't empty that spit valve yet, old man.
It defies words and description.
Yes.So sheriffed out.So it was a tough times back in South Philly.
But is there a thing that I've noticed, not so much with our family, but I've noticed is there's a cultural Italian thing where the guys kind of hang back and let the ladies do the cooking and the cleaning and the sweatshopping?
Did your dad have some of that?
Well, my father, remember, he didn't grow up in the usual sense of going into the tailor shops early, learning the trade.He skipped that through.I mean, he worked a little bit at that time.He didn't work very much during the Depression period.
WPA he was on, I think.He did something.I think he did music in the WPA where they would have
It was something Roosevelt, what's it stand for?
The Works Progress Administration.
Oh, oh, I see.Yeah, it was part of that system or part of that. But he would play.He was a morale booster.
Yeah, that's right.Something like that.And in fact, then the only time during the war, let's see, in the 40s, things opened up for us because then my mother went into the making uniforms, and I was working overtime, and a lot.
And my father, and I'm just remembering now, I think it's the first time he's ever been actually going in the daytime, but things were so bad, they needed people so bad, they'd go into those, particularly in, I'm trying to think of the name of the, Baldwin's.
Yeah, the big locomotives work.Anyway, they switched over from engines to tanks.Right.So that was a period where he worked in Eddystone.
The war broke out essentially and got your dad employed.
He worked in the parts department, but they played the marches at lunchtime to keep the morale up.
Do you think your dad was a philanderer?Do you think he had a couple of ladies on the side?
I think so.I don't know for sure, but I think so.I think a woman in particular, I think he did.
And was he sort of, like I said, he wasn't on the grift, but he was kind of doing his own thing a little bit, which you wouldn't call him a great family man.
No, no.He did his thing.He hung out with musicians.And he always wore a suit.In the world that I came from, the men were all going to the factories.But he always had a suit on from the moment he got up in the morning.
He got up in the morning and put on a suit.And he would go to the union, the musician's union, and would hang out with different leaders and so on, trying to get to work. Yeah, so he would come home like four or five o'clock.
He might put on the water for the pasta my mother and my mother worked in a factory and she had to walk home and she she never took any transportation.
Didn't want to spend the money?
I think so.And the way that it was worked out that it might have been better even to walk through side streets and where the factories were wasn't kind of on a main thoroughfare.
She got home and she cooked him dinner, right?
Yeah, yeah.She would do something.I mean, she'd prepare something the night before or something.And that'd be the first time that our little family, and we were small.Well, most of the Italian families were large.There was only three boys.
And that's because my mother and father had a lot of problems, too.And were really struggling to stay together.So we had a small family.And that's the time we'd get together.
Did you eat?And then what?You wouldn't do any homework, would you?
No, no, I didn't.No, I was really struggling.No, I didn't do homework.We lived in a very... I'm trying to recall this for a moment.We lived on the third floor of my father's sister's house.There were like 12 or 17 of us in the house.
So that was our first place.
I'm just laughing because every time you get some guy who's basically doing the sort of reparations for slavery sort of stuff, I just start laughing.
Like, believe me, the Carolas did not, we didn't own, you didn't have any plantations or any slaves or any... How many people did you own back in the day?How many yards?Just in acres, actually.Square footage, we couldn't tally all that.
You lived on the third floor of a piece of shit, right?With a bunch of other people?
Right.Families mixed together.My brothers lived down with my cousins.I had a crib made for a very young child.I was 32 by then.Dating?
Dating and I couldn't the crib my feet were out the bottom of it, but that's the only But eventually you guys moved into a place that was your own, right?Yeah.
No that Yeah, we found a tiny house and I would be our to my knowledge our first real it was very small yeah, and when we moved were moved by horse and wagon and And that might be there.
There was a fellow in the corner at a little chicken store, and he had a horse and wagon.That's what he would use.And we'd asked him, because he would do it for $5 or something, if he could move our furniture, the little bit that we had.
He said, yeah.And I remember him out front while we were loading things on the horses, two horses he had. And the horses clicked to the next house.
Yeah, that's a... I remember, I don't know what year your mom passed away, early 80s?83.Your mom passed away.Did you fly back for that?
It seemed extravagant for some reason, but your mom passed away.And I remember her house was bought and paid for.
And in 83, there was this crazy sort of real estate boom out here that was houses all of a sudden that were selling for 40, 50, 60,000 were selling for 110, 125,000, $130,000.
I didn't have much to build it on, but I was just doing a kind of a math, which is somebody had a house that's completely paid for and they just died.
You got to whack it up with a couple of your brothers, but hell, that means 40, 50 grand is coming our way. The house sold, I think the house sold for like $17,000.Yeah, exactly.That was in 1983.Under $20,000, yes?
Three-story house, well under $20,000 in the 80s, so couldn't have been doing too good over there.
Well, we paid, see during the war again, my youngest brother went into the war, Ralph, you got those sabers from him.During the war, while he was away, we had a relative, I was in real estate, and that house I sold for $17,000.We paid $4,500 for it.
In what year?During the war, so 44, 45, 43.
And by the way, you want to talk about the entrepreneurial spirit.That's why the Corollas are rich.$4,000 in 43, but in 83, almost $17,000.Profiteering.Enough to buy a fairly nice used car.Very nice used car.
And only 40 years later.You do that 8-10 times over the course of a lifetime, you have $60,000 in the bank.That's a lot of used cars. So now, what relatives do I have?Because I don't know.You have Ralph and you have Mario.
Both your brothers are deceased.Mario has a kid.Ralph never had a kid, right?Right.And Mario has... One girl, but just one girl.So there's not a lot of productivity going on here with the family.It's weird.Mom's an only child, as far as I know.
She doesn't know her biological dad.I don't know if he had any other kids or whatever, half-somethings or whatever.So you have to sort of picture this.There's Maria, who's living on the East Coast.
Yeah, lives in New Jersey.Incidentally, she was trying to work something out where she would come in and see you when you were in Philadelphia.
Yeah, I was only there for about 11 hours or something like that.
So you have three brothers, and you're three Italian, I mean, all together, you have two brothers, two full-blooded Italian brothers, and between the two of them, they have one daughter.
And then you have a son and a daughter, and then that's it with the Corollas, right? better hope that kid of mine don't go gay.That's it?Are there no other Corollas?
No, I don't think there's any Corollas left that I know of.No.Yeah, that is, well, first I was with Ralph.His wife made it clear early that there would be no children.So he wanted them.So that was over with, just to start off with.Connie.Vicki.
Is Vicki still alive?No, Vicki died.Vicki died before Ralph. The Ralph was the one that was sick and she was healthy and died just suddenly.Yeah, so that was clear.And Mario was married just for a short while.
and had the child, and he never married again.
And he lived upstairs in your mom's crappy house for the better part of his life?
Yeah, he was away for that short time that he was married, but then he came right back, and yeah, he was with my mother to the end, until 83.
That's sort of sad, lonely.Did you guys talk much or have much in common?It doesn't seem like you had much in common with him.
No, not at all with either one of them really.Ralph more later on. Well, I was crippled and was born, both he and I were born with clubbed feet, but his was a severe, severe case of it.He was quite crippled.He wore a shoe, a high shoe.
And was he, what did he do for a living?
He, the Baldwin's Locomotive factory was where almost most of the mails, I don't know how, where it started, but all began to filter into that factory.
It wasn't in Philadelphia, it was in Chester, about 15 miles, Eddystone, I think, it was a little town.And they all seemed to end up there, all the people in the block, paisans,
The males ended up in the... and then Mario became a crane operator on the, what do they call the roof, the slides along the... Gantry crane.Yeah, along the roof.And he did that, he did that for a lot of years.
Why don't you give it up for the ace man with the gantry call there, please, thank you.Thank you.Thank you.Well, come on, I threw out gantry.He drove it... I didn't know he drove it, but I know what kind of crane you're talking about.This is amazing!
Thank you, he will knows. So you left Philadelphia and you essentially really didn't see your brothers or your mom too much after that, right?
No, when I would go back and there would be phone calls, but no.Mario, I never heard from him, never called, he just never... What do you think he would have said?
Screw that guy, thinks he's all hot stuff, moving to California?Or it's just like, who cares?
Who cares?Mario's like in his own world, he's a strange little guy.
But how about your mom?Did you not... I know she was religious, and you guys didn't see eye to eye on probably a whole bunch of stuff, and she was from a different generation, but it was almost like a thousand years ago or something, right?
There didn't seem to be anything there.I mean, you would call her on Christmas or birthday or something, but it didn't seem like, I gotta see my mom.
No, my mother... How did she screw that up?Well, one thing I was... I didn't think you were going to have any more children.So when I was born, it was really... I was trying to work out how to get rid of me, actually.
Um, it didn't, it seems counter, uh, Brian over here, for instance, Brian said, you know, has a very tight knit group.
Italian family.Oh yeah.Half Italian.
The sort of casualness that, you know, the three brothers and the mom, the dad passed away too early, but the sort of casualness that people had about the families is borderline bizarre.
Like, just, ah, if I see him, I see him, if I don't, I mean, it seemed like 20 years would go by without anyone seeing anybody.
It was really an alienation within the family.Do you think your mom didn't want you?Well, I think things really got bad between them, but let me give you a little background so you understand why.
My father, the only male in this family of all these women, He was revered by them.There's nothing they wouldn't do with him.They brought him food.They would bring food for him and not the rest of the family.It was all to do with him.
He was the... That's the Italian sort of male syndrome.
Yeah.When my mother, when they married, My mother, who lived in Chester, lived near that factory.I have that written on our family situation.We haven't talked about that.
But then she came to live in that Sicilian block with all those sisters who just revered him.And it was really hard for her.They treated him like a prince and they treated her like, She was not worthy of him.So that's part of the alienation.
And that carried over to our family.And my mother always said that, you know, you're just like your father.She was angry at me a lot.She took a lot out on me.
Of course, she said, you look like him, you like music, you'll be a good-for-nothing the way he is, and you end up not working the way he did.So there was that.
Yeah.Should've got Vince in the room at the same time.She was going down that road.So there's no love loss there, really.I mean, she was your mom, but really, you didn't feel the connection.
Later, I really felt sorry about it when I was old enough or did enough little work on myself to see things.I didn't like the way she treated me.Anyway, but later on, I really see the life she lived and the predicament she was in.
She had a horrible, miserable life, right?
She really worked in sweatshops all her life.
It's really, really... I mean, she kept the family together, you know, for a man that really wasn't, and had all these sisters around him saying how wonderful he was, and she was saying, well, what the hell are you talking about?
He won't even support the family.Right.And you think he's so great.
No, when he died, it wasn't really much of a financial blow to the family.
No, not at all.For the folks that don't know, he died in a one-nighter.We both did a one-nighter together.I was in one.Playing music, by the way.People understand that.That's right.They wouldn't know what a one-nighter is.
And anyway, we both met at the corner.I went with a young band, with young jazz players, and he went with an older group, and they were going out to one of the biggest field hospitals at that time.I wish I can think of the name.During the war.
Valley Forge.Valley Forge, a large surgical medical division there.And on the way, on a winter night, his van turned over. He was the only musician killed, and I went on my one-nighter.
In fact, at the end of that night, at the end of that, what came back is that James Carolla died in a sort of a lack thereof.Now, the first impression was, he thought it was me, that I died.Now, there were two James Carollas.
And I was, you know, a young kid with a jazz band, you know, and he was, you know, with these mature men, so it would be that, you know, drugs or something and I'm the one that died.Right.
But they wait for me to come home and one of us was going to come in that front door, either he was or I was.
Yeah.And thank goodness you got through there. Think about the world and how it would have changed.All right, we need to take a quick break.Be right back with Pops Corolla.He's going to play his horn.I'll give out the cranberry sauce recipe.
All that, still coming up on the very special Thanksgiving episode. Jim Carolla, everybody, on our big Thanksgiving extravaganza.Paul Bryan is with us.
Pops, you brought some paperwork with you that sort of had the Carolla family and the family tree laid out, and I'm interested in this because
I don't know most of it, but then secondly, I'd like to record it for posterity, because I realize I don't really know anything or much about your side of the family, mom's side of the family, history.
It was never really, it wasn't a lot of scrapbooking that the Corollas did, and it wasn't really, I know it's funny, because I know everything about my step-grandfather's family, because he was a talker.
But I didn't know anything about, I mean I know grandma hated her brother and hated her dad and hated everyone else, but mom wouldn't talk and I didn't really feel like I got any information on what was going on from back in the day.
By the way, I'll tell you, the level of vitriol my grandmother had for her brother, which is when he killed himself with a gunshot to the head, her attitude was good riddance. That's pretty powerful stuff there, yes?
I mean, that's not even indifferent.Put a gun in his mouth.Yeah, see you on the other side.And then moved into his 900 square foot home, and when I said to her, anything was weird moving in?And she said, what do you mean?
I said, moving into a house where the guy shot himself.Why?I said, because he shot himself a day earlier in the house, and then you moved in.What are you asking?
I said to her, I said, Grandma, you know, if someone kills themselves in a house in the state of California within six years, realtors have to divulge that to the new buyers.And she said, why?
I said, you understand some people have feelings about that stuff?And she said, what difference does that make?I said, wow, that's a tough.Pragmatic.Pragmatic.By the way, pragmatic to the end.It's one thing to be 23 and telling God to take a hike.
It's another thing to be 93 and telling God to take a hike. You know what I mean?I mean, all of a sudden, you know, that people do that.There's no atheists in foxholes.Oh, she she would have been one of the atheists in those foxholes.
I mean, it's just a interesting, interesting woman.
Never, never gave it up, never wavered, took it right, did not, did not soften up at the end, did not get sentimental.There was no, I mean, I talked to her about this stuff at the end.
When I say at the end, you know, a year before she died, just stuff about her brother, her dad, that kind of stuff, trying to get a little history.Glad that fuck was dead.But she was 93, like she didn't do a like,
Robert would have been, you know 97 years that he lived and you know looking back on it, you know He killed himself when he was 39 and at the time it seemed like he was all but it was such a young part now It's just good riddance good riddance Like it wasn't an ounce of it and he must have killed himself in his mid 30s.
Oh, yeah something I mean, it wasn't an old, dude Oh, no Yeah, moved right in the house.Wanted to know what the deal was.I was like, what room did he kill himself in?I think it was your grandfather's office.
He said, uh, they just dragged the body out of there, they put some carpet over the bloodstained floor.I guess. Walk gay?Jesus Christ.By the way, that's the difference between North Hollywood and New Orleans.North Hollywood, there was no ghosts.
If it was in New Orleans, no one would have gone back.They would have lit a candle and lit some sage.They would have had to clean that place out.
No, just move right back in.No problemo.And again, it's one thing, you know, old man dies in his sleep.Brother kills himself.
This is your mom's mom?I mean your mom's, yeah, mom's mom?
Yeah, you could call her that, yeah.
And no one ever addressed what the brother may have done to deserve such a scornful rage?
She always says she chased him around with a knife and was violent and blah blah blah.I don't know if he molested her or what he did, but he was...
He was physically a terror, evidently, and for some reason, although it's always suspicious to me when people say, the parents were awesome with him, but horrible with me.
As if Lynette and myself could be the world's greatest parent to Sunny and be a horrible, abusive set of parents to Natalia.Do you know what I mean?It's either you're good or you're bad, but you're rarely the greatest ever to this and the worst.
I mean, there's variations. Don't worry, we'll be better to Sonny.But it's not going to be night and day.
Well, no, in 16 years for sure.
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Dad, you have the family history there.Yes.Yeah.We got the, uh, we got some calls coming up here.What do you want to do?We'll give it a little family history.Give a little family history.
Okay.Family on my father's side came from Casa Bona in Sicily.It's a small town in the mountains, and I can't think of that seaport, right?It's 90 miles from that seaport.It begins with an L. I just, my memory is not, I wish I could think of that.
Anyway, that's where they were and that's where they grew up and lived.Anyway, one of the first persons to come to the United States is Serafino Papilia.He was a young man.He was my father's mother's brother.
and he was a musician, he was a horn player, and he arrived in 1899, and I think he joined some paisans because he ends up in South Philadelphia, and I've seen him a couple of times.
I've seen him when he was kind of old, but by the time I remember seeing him.
Thick Italian accent, does he speak English?
No, he spoke English, yeah.Yeah, he did.He spoke it well, too.And he was a good horn player and he worked in California.He ended up in California and was part of a whole troop of brass players that are in our family. And it was all just brass.
Everybody played trumpet, trombone, French horn, and came to America to seek their fortunes in America, but also to have an opportunity to play music.
It's amazing I never got sucked into this lifestyle.The mansions, the yachts, the women, the lavish surroundings.It's a wonder I didn't gravitate toward the horn, too.Yeah, it was tempting, but I went another direction.
Right.So in 1902, Vincenzia, that's one of the sisters, my father's sister, she came over in 1902.Anna Carolla, another sister in 1903, 1904.Mariano Carolla, which was my father's father, and his son, Jim Carolla.
How'd you find this stuff at?
Some relative went on immigrants, immigrants.com, and got this.
And the Corollas were the same.Now see, you gave me, you gave me Vince's, I should say, Ralph's Purple Heart that he won in the Island Campaigns, your brother, World War II.And on the Purple Heart, it said Corollo.
And I said to you, how come he spelled it Carollo and you were Carolla?And you said... Yeah, that's what you said.
Well, I always know that growing up as a child, they somehow longed a way to make it shorter.I don't know why.
You didn't make it shorter, you just got rid of an A and put an O in there.
Yeah, but the way it's Corolla, Corollo, there is a little more.A little more calories burned with the Corollo?Corollo.I don't know where that change took place.
No, Corollo is the real name.
Wait a minute, Carollo?Oh, yeah.Oh, OK.So he just... Well, the reason he went with Carollo is that's the original way.
Yeah, that's the original way.Yeah, and that's what he went with, right.
You have to admit, Corolla's a lot easier.I mean, the age just falls out.Yeah, Corolla's easier.If it's Corolla O, you've got to purse your lips, make an O. It's a calorie burner.
That's why Jeff Lipschultz changed his name to Jeff Ross.Yeah, night and day.You want to work in show business, maybe that's what held back some of the horn players, was that big O at the end.
Some of the greatest jazz saxophonists on the planet, but yet the O.
By the time you get to the O in Corollo, you're tired.Your lips are tired, for God's sake.
Yeah, must have been a lot of that.Yeah, although, you know, it worked for Guy Lombardo.
There's always an exception that proves the rule.It wasn't Guy Lombardo.There's always an exception that proves the rule.
Yeah, but he had a nice short first name.If it was Giuseppe Lombardo, it probably would have never worked.
You'd have to take a break in the middle of that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right.So he went with the Corollo.
Yeah, Ralph always used it, I heard later, like in school, and he stayed with the Corollo.
What do you think Mario went with?
I think Corolla, I think he went with the A. Yeah, I think my mother did, too.Okay.Okay, so anyway, the father comes over, and my father's with him, and they come over in 1904, so my father's four years old.
I think in New York they landed, and they came to, of course, South Philadelphia, where the Paisans and family is. Then 1905, Conchetta Carollo, now that's my grandmother, and the last daughter, Mary, came.Those two came together in 1905.
So Conchetta, the mother, and Mary, the youngest child.And they came over together. And finally in 1906, the last one was Jenny Carolla.I think I was her oldest sister.And she came over in 1906.
Did somebody die in a fire?
Yeah.That's on my mother's side.
Because your mom used to talk about that.I'm really getting interested.Yeah.What the hell?Was she just trying to freak everyone out?
I can't remember that story, but I just remember as a kid sort of being horrified by the story of some little girl dying in a fire.
Yeah, her youngest sister, I don't know how, was in the backyard.The tree was on fire.And yeah, the sister died of burns in that fire.
Yeah, I remember grandma, I mean not your mother, but my grandmother out here laughing hysterically when she heard about it.Saying she probably deserved it.And then moving into the treehouse shortly thereafter.
Wondering why someone was disclosed by someone burned in the treehouse.
Yeah, what's the big deal?She had it coming, I think she said.
So that kind of takes care of the Sicilians.
The Carolos came here a little bit late, in a way.I mean, all 19-somethings.You know, not like 1850, whatever.
So they all came here, and they all settled in Philly.And then your mom's... What was your mom's name?
Louise.Amatreno.Yeah, Amatreno, just like you say I'm a train, Amatreno.
Should have changed Amatreno so we could, so she could have had a hit single.So she was in the Corollos, the Corollos hooked up with the Amatrenos.
Right, yeah.Now my mother's father jumped ship
She later changed her name to, I didn't want a third son-o.That was later.
Her father jumped ship in Marcus Hook, which was kind of an oil refinery from the bay the ships used to come in there.I think he was on one of them.And he jumped ship and got ashore.
And that's why he ended up in Chester, Pennsylvania, because that's where that refinery is.It's very close to Philadelphia, maybe 15 or 20 miles.
No, she was born, some of them were born in Italy and some of her sisters were born in Italy, but she was born in America, my mother.
Ah, that's where the slave ownership comes in.I knew it.I knew there had to be some of that in her past.And what was her family?What did they do?
So her father jumped ship and said he got into Chester and some way he ended up getting his own barbershop.That's where I pick it up.I don't know what he did before that.Yeah, his own barbershop.
And he sends for his family and there's a few children.And my mother and her brother were both, I think, the only two born in the States.
What's up with the no kids policy?There's no family around.It's weird.
Well, that's the brother that was in a kind of a mafia syndicate.
Are you sure you guys weren't Chinese and not Italian?You would fit right in over there.
But now that you mention that, yeah, Joe never married.Joe was her brother.Yeah.
And he was the mafia connection?
Yeah. Yeah, he was a gambler and he was kind of in the small time part.I had an uncle that I'm coming to is really got into big time.But he was always on the run.He messed around with the money and the syndicate chased him.
And he ended up at my mother's house a lot, and he lived in our cellar.Hiding?Hiding, yeah.And I remember my father saying, what are we, are we crazy?
Thank God your dad wasn't home.
That's right, maybe he never even knew about it.
Straightening his tie upstairs and heading out to play pinochle.
Years later, you lived in a service porch.
Yeah Well, they were in a basement, right?
Yeah, I remember your that house I remember it had it was a sort of brownstone You know, it's like the kind of thing where you know It was it was real West Side Story shit like the kind of stuff people would have been hanging out on on summer nights and snapping their fingers and just walk, you know cobblestone Street and the house was
sandwiched in, it was a row house, it was sandwiched in between two, you know, if you would have punched a hole in either one of the two sidewalls, you would have went into the neighbor's house.
But the thing was, you know, 14 feet wide, but 60 feet tall, you could get on the roof, you could go in the basement, it was three stories, but didn't have any width to it, or any backyard or front yard.
No, one side was an alley.The one side was a home, but there was an alley right in the area.Right.
And the backyard just had sort of a closed line.
And a little back door going from the kitchen.
And I remember that house, stairwell, creaky stairs, sort of right in the front, right by the front door.
and a stable directly behind it that came right up to our Abbott's Milk Horse and Wagon, Abbott's, I don't know if that's even around anymore.
But anyway, they had a large delivery right next door to us, but where they kept the horses at night, all my life I remember, of course I slept in that back room, and the odor coming from that room, that I heard kicking horses.
Most of the night, as these horses slept.Yeah, that stable, I've forgotten about that.That was right near my window.
Long gone, I'm sure, now.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.Long gone now.
But now, who was the don of Atlantic City?
Yeah, one of my mother's sisters married this fellow.We always call him Vito.In fact, we had dinner with him.I don't know if you remember him.This is, I think, a surprise for you.
He, in his later years, towards the end of his life, when he gave up his whole Don of Atlantic City world, he made kind of a final trip to see people.And he came to California and stopped off to see us. And we had dinner at a restaurant.
And you maybe were about seven years old.By that time he was retired and the whole world was over for him.But he was affiliated with the mob.
And he, at one point, the mob needed a, they needed somebody that had, it was very political, they had to hand over somebody to the police, almost like, of course they had the police all paid off and so on.
And my uncle, knowing that if he would, if he would take the blame for something, that he would have to serve some time in prison, but they would take care of the family and they would set him up.In fact, he was at Mormensing Prison, which was only
right around the corner from me, how close we all are, and I remember the second floor of it was a double when we played half ball.And I used to say, you know, my Uncle Ralph, that's a, he's... Like handball, hitting the ball against the wall.
He's up there in the double.
Who was the guy, this seemed very peculiar to me, but there was one guy who we visited with once or twice and he said, Hey, go check that phone, that pay phone.Check the change slot and see if there's something in there.
And I said, well, you know, all right.You know, there was a quarter in there or something.And I thought, this guy doesn't seem like a Corolla, was my first impulse.And secondly, why, who is this rich guy sort of throwing money around?
And I don't know if it was him or it was somebody else.It felt like this was back in Cherry Hill or something, something like that.
I don't, I just remember, that's the memory I have of somebody putting some money into the change slot of a pay phone and telling me to go check and see if there was something in there and being surprised.Yeah, giving your kid a quarter.
Yeah.Oh, boy, that would sound like my Uncle Joe.
My dad hung out with mostly high rollers, like Vince and Pat Bruno, where they give you a dime for every... Dad, do you understand that they're...
Birthday present was a dime for every year you were on the planet Yeah What I can go to my car ashtray right now and empty it out on the table and come up with that What is that?
Okay It's not good though is it it's like they're making some gesture, but they're not piling it on a piling at all
A $2.00 bill would be piling up.They're showing an incredible amount of restraint.
Well, what they want is they understand that once you break $3.00, that's when the kid goes off, he starts buying himself a deluxe four-wheel drive.I mean, a 30-year-old.
I think at some point they either went from nickels to dimes, or maybe even dimes to quarters. That's a pretty, literally good coin back then.
Was it at least the thing where when you turned 11 you got 11 quarters and when you turned 12 you got 12?Yeah.Okay, it wasn't like a new dime for every year you were around.
No, there was a card.It was a card that had pockets in it. I know, but I'm imagining.And the pocket took the dime.So if you turn nine, you got nine dimes.Okay.
I thought it was like, oh, you're 12.Here's your 12th dime.No.Next year you'll get your 13th.That's horrible.
No, that would have been horrible.No, this was wildly generous compared to that.But the money in the phone machine still seemed a little out of character.We got some phone calls, Dad.You want to try talking to some of the people?
Some of the Thanksgiving memories that people have, nightmares perhaps.Hey, Tom.Tom from Kentucky.Are you there?Let me try this.Scott from Orlando.
Hey, how's it going, Adam?
Hey, did you have a relative that was the Don of Orlando? Okay.I'm asking my dad.Yeah, because it'd be funny if his name was Tony because it'd be Tony Orlando and then he'd be the Don of it.Well, you can do the math on that.Right.
Well, um, one year my mother went off to India on a trip during Thanksgiving.Preface this, when we were growing up, she'd give me and my brother money before my dad got home to run and get something to eat.
Elementary school, I was the restaurant critic for the school.
Oh, you were?Your school had a restaurant critic?
Yeah, because it was me, because she'd always give us money.We'd go over the back fence, hit the restaurant, you know, Liggett Rexall, Crystal, Maryland Fried Chicken.
The 11-year-old restaurant critic sounds funny.It's like, I found these fish sticks to be, they were assertive, but without being pushy.
I recommend the corndogs highly.
But then dad would come home, she'd fix something for him, and he'd go, what about the boys?She goes, I've already taken care of the boys.
But they do that for Thanksgiving?
Well, no.OK, here's Thanksgiving.So she's gone off to India.So we decide, me, my wife, my daughter, my brother, and my dad, we go to Cocoa Beach to this fine restaurant and have Thanksgiving there.And they roll out the stuff.
And my dad and my brother are back home. Box up everything they got leftovers for three or four days Greatest Thanksgiving meal we've ever had and we all comes home Yeah, first thing my brother's got to say is wow.
We had the greatest Thanksgiving ever Yeah, I rubbed it in her face.
Your mom just made three frequent trips to India around the round the holidays Now she'll go most anywhere.
She's an artist.So she'll go off, you know draw We had we had the we Thanks gap
I think my mom, at a certain point, my mom would just go out of town every Thanksgiving.
Probably.And we'd go, there was a restaurant, once we went to some revolving restaurant with my grandma, but my grandmother started She started eating Thanksgiving with the Brooks family, and we never ate Thanksgiving with her.
After a certain point, I don't know, maybe the last 25 years or something like that?It's weird, it's kind of pathetic, but it's weird because when... She died a year ago, but I was laughing with my wife.
I said, this is the first Thanksgiving without Grandma, except for she wouldn't have been here.She would have been at the Brooks'.The Brooks' should mourn Grandma not being there for Thanksgiving.And even one time, now we have the thing at my house,
And one time she swung by before just to sort of check it out and say hi, but at a certain point it was like 3.30 and she's like, I gotta split.I gotta get to the Thanksgiving dinner.And I thought, really?Again, it's... Well, thanks guys.
Pre-Thanksgiving was nice.Now I've got to get to the real party.
It's funny how you drink everything in because you have 20 years of this retarded indoctrination until a sane person enters the fray, which was Lynette's dad.And Lynette's dad said, where's your grandma going?I said, she's going to Thanksgiving.
Why is she not with her family?And I said, Well, she never, she wouldn't.And I went, oh yeah.I think the old man's got a point here.Maybe he was, he was, he, they were on a roll.
He was, he's a normal guy who was sort of like, I understand why her entire family is here.Why wouldn't she be with her family?And I was like, well, she's got this Jewish family, lives in Newberry Park.They, she wouldn't, why would she?
But I never really thought about it until Pops-in-law brought it up.Let's see, I got my cranberry sauce recipe to give out in a second, too.Yes, there was an uncomfortable moment when I brought my cranberry sauce to Vince and Pat's.
smallish apartment for Thanksgiving one year, and I whipped it out.I had it in my lap.And when that can opener popped out, I said, no can do.I ain't on this white trash gravy train.I cook these up and I'm bringing them from home.
Ironically, you made a more white trash move to supplant the white trash move.You brought your own toppings in a Ziploc.
Yeah, Pat was not thrilled.She did not... I wonder why she did not... Listen, if you're gonna bust out a can opener on Thanksgiving, you get what you get. Do you know what I'm saying?Dad, do you agree with this theory?Yeah.Yeah, it's Thanksgiving.
You cook.That's what you do.Get out a can opener.I could make the cranberry sauce in six minutes, by the way.And it was real fresh.It was warm.It wasn't serrated like the shape of the can and say Del Monte on the side of it.
What the hell's going on with everyone?All right, I'll get that recipe out in one second.Let me just talk to Kevin.Kevin?
Not much, you know, just your typical Jew in Idaho.
I don't know, a whole heck of a lot.I mean, you know, like, how old are you for me?Well, just imagine, you know, a Jew.
Mom thinks she can... Yeah, what do the Jews... How do the Jews do with Thanksgiving?
Um, well, for us, we humor my mom.We let her cook. a couple of pizzas that I delivered.So, you know, it's like when my father was alive, my mom decided, okay, I'm dating this girl.She's got two kids.She's my wife now, so the kids are mine.
They're my kids as far as I'm concerned.They're over.My brother is over.He's drunk, he's stoned, he's hitting on the woman who's going to be my future wife.
And my father, who's a perfectionist who loves to cook, but letting my mom cook, they're fighting back and forth.My father decides he's going to fight with my brother.And then of course, I have to get thrown into the middle of it.
And from this gorgeous woman with these two beautiful kids as they're going, yeah, I'm going to marry him.
Is your brother drunk when he's hitting on your future wife?
Oh, he'll do it while he's drunk, stoned, sober, he doesn't care.He's no head-bunner.
How does that work, though, where you sort of blatantly hit on somebody in front of somebody else?
Well, my family, it's very, very easy.I don't talk to them, so it really doesn't matter anymore.It's a Jewish family, you know?I mean, it's like, we hang around Italians a lot, you know?
I feel like the Jews would be above that fray.
Okay, let me put it this way.My last name's Siegelbaum, and if you know anything about Jewish history and Jewish mobs, you can pretty much figure out who I'm related to.
Yes.Benjamin Siegelbaum.He's my grandfather's cousin.
Really?Yeah.Siegelbaum seems like something you'd need a flathead screwdriver to clean off your windshield if you parked by the beach, you know?What happened to the car?Siegelbaum.Yeah.
Worst Jewish rapper ever.Siegelbaum.
Yeah, thanks.Appreciate that one.
Wow.That's nice to hear tales of dysfunction from other families.All right.I'm going to give my cranberry sauce recipe out, which I do every year.
There are moments that change the course of history.
Ask not what your country can do for you.And I've seen the promised land.
Thus saith the Lord God of Israel, let my people go.
This is one of those moments.This is the moment that all of human progress has been moving towards. And there are men who move that destiny forward.Jesus Christ, Thomas Jefferson, Henry Ford, Adam Carolla.
The time has arrived for Adam Carolla's Cranberry Sauce Recipe!
We gotta recut that liner.It's Carollo.Tell Mike we'll pick that up and do it in post, all right?Okay, thank you.Oh, yeah.And, Dad, quickly, before the cranberry sauce, I've gotten to the bottom of this.
I don't have a middle name because you normally name your son middle name after your dad, one of the two dads, right?And neither one of you liked your dad, right? You liked your dad?
I was just trying to do some math.You usually stuff the dad's name in the middle there somewhere.You liked your dad?
But you wouldn't call him a great husband?
No, probably not a great father.But he liked me.
But you liked him as a guy?
Yeah, I mean, not just as a guy.
What if you removed the music?What if you got rid of the mutual love of the horn?
I don't know.That's a hard one to know.I don't know how much different that would have been.
That's a solid name.Alright, the cranberry recipe, and this is why I get incensed when people open a can of cranberry sauce, because all you have to do is get one sack of the cranberries, the fresh, whole cranberries.This is ocean spray.
It's a sack the size of a brick.And you take a pot, just a saucepan, you put one cup of water in it, you boil it, or you get it boiling, and then you open the sack of cranberries and you dump it in the boiling water.
Now the recipe will say then a cup of sugar but a cup of sugar is a lot and I say start off with one with a half cup of sugar and then you can mix in a little more as you go depending on a season to taste as they say.So one cup of water it
It gets to boiling in about 45 seconds.Open this sack of cranberries.Dump it into boiling water.Dump in a half cup, maybe two-thirds cup of sugar.Stir it around a little bit.Lower the flame a little bit and put the lid on it.
About five minutes later, you remove the lid and you have cranberry sauce.You just shut the flame off.That's it.You're done.Now you could start doing the walnuts and the lemon zest and all that other bullshit, but why bother?
You've made cranberry sauce.It's good enough.I don't want to see any currants or golden raisins or any of that shit in there.Just keep it simple.And overall, let's keep it simple. I don't want trout on Thanksgiving.
I don't want you to take the turkey and stuff it with, you know, jicama and papaya and all this.
Just keep it... By the way, has anyone ever had like pumpkin pie, turkey, traditional stuffing, green beans, you know, a pecan pie and cranberry sauce and went, fuck this? Once a year.Once a year.Just make it traditional.
Do it like a Norman Rockwell painting.Lay it out.Mashed potatoes.The whole nine yards.The gravy.Everyone will love it.And then the next day, they'll eat Thai food.All right.That is the cranberry recipe.Dad.That's where you go.
That's where you say something. Yeah?Oh, yeah.Thank you.Dad, thank you for coming out.By the way, you can find Pops on the Ace Broadcasting Network on Life Lessons with Jim Carolla right here on the Ace Broadcasting Network.
Dad, it's a little late for you.What time do you go to bed normally?
What time do you get up in the morning?
Because that's when the fish are biting?What goes on at 4.30, Dad?
Thinking about the Clippers, or what goes through the mind?
No, I meditate early in the morning, so that's why I'm up early.
Wow.It is quiet time at 4.30.How long do you meditate for?
It's according... I'm up at 4.30, because sometimes I'll go a little later.It'll be about a half hour, 45 minutes.
I remember one time this rascal slept in to 4.55.I was like, what are you on, a Quaalude, old man?Yeah, let's go.You got the Epstein bar?Jesus Christ, it's almost 5 a.m.Let's go now.
Put a mirror under his nose.
Oh, God.Dad, you should have gotten a morning radio.I would have paid you to do my job for me.I hated getting up at that hour.
I meditated with Brusca yelling at me for four hours.All right.
So, uh... Are you going to do any of the music stuff or...?
Well, dad, we've unfortunately gone about an hour and 20 something minutes here.So we've got.Yeah, I like the family tree stuff.And by the way, there's all you know, it's all Brian complaining.
That's true.The Christmas episode's coming up soon.
The Christmas episode's coming up, dad.You hang out for that Christmas episode and we're going to get some songs in on that horn.
I guarantee you that.I'm disappointed.
Well, what song?Did you want to play a song?
You don't want to do any... No, that's your song.Well, I was going to do a scatting thing with you, but I could do just my... I do a theme song for my show.
All right, let's do that song.As long as it sounds like Sanford and Son, I got no problem with it.
I need to... I'll change the lyrics a little bit.Are you going to sing?
Podcasters, someday when Jim and Ray are low, when the world is cold, we will feel the glow just thinking of our podcaster audience. And the way you listen every week.
Mike, get to work on a theme song for me, would you?I don't like this.
You're lovely, with your comments so warm, with your questions so wise. There is nothing for Ray and Jim But to love you And the way you listen to our show Bridge With each word Your tenderness grows
Tearing our fears apart Those downloads that reaches your iPods Touches Ray and Jim's little hearts And your dad said you'd never make it as a pro Leave with those four minute waits Keep that breathless charm
Won't you please arrange it, cause we love you.
And the way you listen to us tonight.Okay, a little trumpet now.
Silver was right about the wing ball.We'll get that going next week.
With each word we say Your tenderness grows Tearing our fears apart And those comments that we love to hear touches our foolish hearts.Oh, lovely.Keep those hearts expanding.Keep that breathless charm. Won't you please arrange it?
Cause we love you Just the way you listen to us each week Yes, keep on listening
You know, I've heard all the great crooners over the years sing a podcast song.The Moon Podcast, Podcast in the Key of Blue, and we've all heard all the podcast songs.That was definitely, definitely at the top pop. Nice job.
Pop Squirola can be found right here on the H Broadcasting Network Life Lessons with Jim Carollo.That's right.And until next time, I'm Adam Carolla for Bald Brian and Jim Carollo saying mahalo.
Alright, that was Adam Carolla Show 454.Coming up next, we have Adam Carolla Show 809.This one's from 2012.It features Will Sasso, not in this portion.He will be airing tomorrow in the Carolla Classics feed, and the free feed, the Saturday episode.
So this will be the very first clip tomorrow morning, if you want to continue this episode and get to the fun part.This portion features Jim Carolla, Ray Oldhoffer, Alison Rosen, Brian Bishop,
This is Jim Carolla's final appearance on the Adam Carolla Show in studio as they were starting up Life Lessons with Jim Carolla, a podcast with Ray Oldhoffer that ran for quite some time.
Jim and Ray discussing all manners of living, meditation, music, art.Very interesting podcast.Hope you enjoy the clip.
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And now, a man so angry, every show he's on is mad TV.Adam Carolla.
Yeah, get it on.Got to get it on.No choice but to get it on.Mandate, get it on. And welcome to the show.Sasso coming in here in a couple of few.I think we'll talk some Three Stooges.Mike, you know a bunch about the Three Stooges, right?I do, sadly.
Because you're weird and you used to be fat?Yes.So a combination of no sex and government cheese makes you an expert on either that.It's like, do you want the Marx Brothers or do you want the Three Stooges?Either way, you ain't getting laid.
Have some more cheese and think about it.Yeah, I wasn't even smart enough for the Marx Brothers.I just went Three Stooges.
All right, you come in at some point when Sasso comes in, we talk a little Three Stooges, because I remember we're on the road talking about it, and there's some cool interesting things about the Three Stooges.Have you guys seen the film?Not yet.
I saw the film yesterday.You saw the film yesterday?Yeah.Oh, good.Talk to Sasso about that.
By the way, next time just say, I saw the film, instead of going through the charade of, have you guys seen the film?
Yeah, but he wouldn't sufficiently be one-upping us otherwise.
And we're not going to ask you if you saw it.Well, I saw the film.
It's funny you ask that.Actually, I did.And what if I went into a long story about it then?
Jim Carolla, my biological father, here today.Good to see you.Dad, please tell everyone that's not you saying, hell yeah.
It is you, but you've never said hell yeah in your life, have you?
That's not you saying hell yeah.
Although everyone thinks it's you saying hell yeah, and I can't talk them out of it.I said it's not him saying hell yeah, it's him going ah yeah.Yeah.But it sounded like, it was an exhale, and it sounds like a hell yeah.
Well, you tell me.I know you don't have a recollection of it, but hell yeah. is not something I've ever heard come out of your mouth, is it?
No, I guess you didn't.You know, you remember better than I do.
Well, I mean, you don't say, hell yeah, like, if that was your... It's not part of your vernacular.
Yeah, it's not your here come the judge or dynamite.Right, yeah.Okay.
Yeah, hello?My dad is here.
Ray Oldhoffer's here.The reason these guys are here is because my dad's been doing a show on this network for what feels like three years before we got started.But it's been about, what, a year and a half?
It's closer to three, isn't it?
Oh, great.Sounds good.And it's not been getting a lot of traction.Not a lot of sponsors jumping on board.Important topics.Life lessons with Jim Carolla.And Ray's been sitting in for how long, Ray?Not since the very beginning.
And I said to my dad I said dad this this is costing me money.
We're not making any money off it so how do we make some money off it and He said I got a lot of dedicated people like we're few but we're proud, you know, they're like Comanche Indians There's not a lot of them, but they're very into the show.
Yes, dad.Yeah, so I said I
I said, if they're that into the show, what you need to do is put a little donation box out and tell people, look, if you really want to support the show and it means something to you, then donate to the show and let's stay on the air.Right?True.
It has happened.Right.And then a year went by and nothing happened. And then I said, hey dad, remember that conversation we had about putting the donation box out on the thing?And he said, yeah, how'd that go?
And I said, you've got to talk about getting a donation and getting some support for the show financially that way, since we can't find sponsorship.And he said, all right.And then I said, Gary, not full-tard, half-tard Gary, I said,
Gary, you get behind this baby and make sure it happens.Remind the old man to give it a plug and tell us how it's going.Now, how's it going, Gary?
It's been going pretty well, slow but steady, but could be doing a lot better.
Where are we at, money-wise?
We're south of $1,000.Really?
A little bit shy of $1,000?
We're staying out here.But north of what?
We're south of $1,000.What are we north of?
No.You said we're inching toward $300 last time.That's true.Is that about where we're at?That's approximately right, yes.After what?
Hey, that's cash money.Come on.Four episodes?That's not Sneeze Bet.
Five?Eight?Eight?All right.Wait, we've been asking on PayPal for eight episodes, Gary?
Yes, we have.And we got about $300.Dad, that's horrible.Your audience is not proud.They may be poor, but they're not proud.
So my dad said, what I really need is I need to come on your show and kickstart this goddamn thing, get some ears on it, let people hear the wisdom, and then they'll recognize the error of their ways.
What's that weird sound?Oh, is that you breathing into the mic, Dad?That's you.So it freaked me out for a second.So basically, what I said to everyone is, look, my dad's a psychologist.He's dispensing some pretty serious advice.
And there may only be several hundred, maybe a few thousand of you who listen.But what's a shrink cost?You know, 100 bucks, 150 bucks for 50 minutes?At least. Yeah, you give five bucks a month, these guys keep the show going.Practically free.
And my dad gets to continue dispatching the wisdom.So dad, what kind of stuff?So I said, come on the show and talk about the kind of stuff that you might be talking about on your program.That's why he gets the big bucks, people.
Okay, let me just give you a theme of the show.The general theme is an exploration toward a psychology of awakening to a higher consciousness.
We explore on this show the spiritual traditions of Buddhism and Zen and Judaism, Christianity, employing the practices of yoga, meditation, mindfulness, and informed over a century of Western psychology.
So all that mixture, we're trying to get points where they agree, where the crossroads touch.In other words, some ideas that they're all saying in different language, but they're saying very similar things.
And then what's Ray doing?
Ray's reacting to it.Go ahead, Ray.
Yeah, I'll put my spin on it.
You're really doing your thing, man.This dog and pony show's got me sold.I'm tuning in.It's a hit!
Listen, it's a more introspective life, and you know, listen, I've been going to your dad for how long now?18 years?
Yeah, I know he's asked you not to say that in front of people a few times now.
I don't think so.He doesn't say it in front of you, buddy, so keep that on the down low.
Anyway, it's a great show, and it's a chance for some different work, a different thing for oneself.
Something different.Yes.That's right.And psychology, and the inner workings of the mind, and things that people take for granted and they shouldn't.
Yeah, it's a different way to look at yourself.And it's tough.I mean, it's a tough listen sometimes.And you know, it's worth it, though.It's probably the only thing that is worth it.
Thank you.In life?In life?So far.Or on his network?Dad, give one more beat.
OK.Like, for example, an idea that I hit.The mind must step back.Now, all these traditions have a form of this. This power of the mind is to step back, lies in the very root of any serious attempt to bring great ideas into our lives.
Without becoming aware of this power and exercising it, all attempts of higher consciousness will end in daydreams.
So the capacity to step back, and that's part of what meditation is and other practices, is that somehow we stop in life and we develop a capacity to step back and to witness the goings-on of the personality, for example.
So what I'd like to do is right now we're averaging about $37 a show.I'd like to see if we could- Who did that math for you?Oh please, Ray.How dare you.I'd like to see if we could get that number up just a little bit.
Otherwise, this is going to be one of those things where Dad's going to be on the chopping block. You don't want to see the old man pack up his horn and go home.I can't carry you any longer, Dad.I have kids, you understand.
It's eating into their college fund.Not that they're going to college, but I still put a fund aside.If they don't get straight A's, I'm buying another race car.
But we need to get some traction here.It's an experiment that so far is not working out.I really had more faith in the people listening.I really thought, all right, we don't have advertisers because, sure, they don't understand, but the people.
Well, if someone tunes in, are they going to hear something that they'll relate to?Something that is useful in their own life?Absolutely.
No, but that shouldn't stop them from paying.That's what I'm saying.
True.I've heard the show.It's very introspective.No, but it's very introspective.If you're into meditation, which everyone should be, or at least people should aspire to, it's something you can listen to and relax and learn more about yourself.
I agree.And it's like one of those things when you're walking the dog or pushing the kids in the stroller, just listen.You don't need to be listening to your crappy tech music all the time and house music.
You don't need shit pumping in your ears the whole time.Just sit back and relax. New episodes every Saturday.By the way, that's Ace on the House.That's Ray and I. Now, we're not having any problems with that show.
Ray, you're doing gangbusters on that show.
You may be up for a People's Choice Award on your work on Ace on the House.At least I'm going to have you nominated.Life Lessons with Jim Carolla with an assist by our good friend Ray.Dad will bring his horn as well.Go to ace...
JimCarolla.com to listen and donate to the show.And we'll see how this experiment works, Dad.
All right, I'll see you two on the other side.Okay.Got it.Thank you.Thank you.All right.Oh, I got a quick sponsor.We have sponsors. BigCommerce!BigCommerce.com.Don't be a one-upper like I said before.
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That's bigcommerce.com, promo code Adam.All right, where are we at?Will Sasso's coming in here in a couple of few.I had something to complain about.We're doing the audio book.And the book, it's a process.
And the book, it gets a little, sometimes it's a step forward, sometimes it's a couple steps back.The audio book is a, very good metaphor for life, which is I am a horrible reader.
I just don't read well, and I don't read out loud well, and it's my greatest nightmare to sit in a closet, which we have here with a microphone in it, and try to get through 319 pages, which is my new book.
Does the fact that it's your thoughts, your words essentially, prompt you or help you?Is it the lube that helps the rough reading?
Yes, the KY that lubricates my jaw is the fact that it's my own words.If it was someone else's words, I'd be completely lost, but I'm embarrassed to say that even with my own words, I'm not very good.It's the actual reading.
So I read a little, and then I go off on a riff for a little, and then I read a little, and I go off on a tangent for a little. But the bottom line is it's eight hours of finished material.It's not eight hours in the mop closet with the microphone.
It's eight hours.You know, the finished book, the audio book, will be somewhere around eight hours.Which means like 36. Yeah, so how the fuck do you get to that eight hours?And it's the thing that I tell everyone all the time.
It's the thing that makes people successful versus fucking losers is I took a look at Mike Dawson and Mike Lynch and a third guy named Mike who had nothing to do with the process.And I said, look, we're going to chip away.
We're going to just chip away 20 minutes here, an hour there, 40 minutes here.We'll just keep chipping away.And there's a psychological component to it, which is Mike, you sit there, and as we go through the book, you time it.
And as we stop, you stop.And if we have to go back or fix something, don't start the stopwatch again.And then at the end of the session, tell me, ballpark, what do you think we logged in terms of usable book time?
So we went in the first time for about three hours, and we logged about, you know, it's like one hour, 11 minutes. I said, all right.Next thing you know, we go in.And now I started to speed it up and try to get a little more efficient about it.
And the idea was if I'm in the booth for two hours, maybe we can get one hour of usable material.Well,
Basically, we said, look, we'll meet before the podcast, we'll hang around an hour after, we'll come out here on a Saturday and put in a couple hours.There was never a day where I said, look, man, we're showing up at 8 a.m.
and we don't leave till the streetlights are on because it's way too fucking daunting.It was just two hours here, an hour there.We've been in a situation where I said, look, we got one hour, let's see if we can get a half hour worth of book.
And now we're at seven hours.
Yeah.So, and then once you see the daylight, like once you, you know, when someone says you got to do 50 push-ups and you're on 41, it's kind of like, all right, I can see it.
But if you just keep sitting around and going fucking eight hours, my God, how are we going to do eight hours?When are we ever going to carve out enough time to do eight hours?And then you bullshit yourself.Like you go, listen.
We're gonna, no, fuck 20 minutes at a time.We're gonna pick out a Saturday.I'm gonna leave at sunup.We're gonna put on three pots of coffee.Dawson's gonna smoke nine packs of cigarettes.
We're gonna fucking push through until we're gonna one day, you're bullshitting yourself.A, your product's gonna suck.B, that one day, it'll never be a good day for that day.So just fucking chip, just chip away.And so this goes for,
Home improvement, this goes for school work, this goes for audiobooks, this goes for restoring a car, this goes for weight loss, perfect example, this goes for, you know, putting, refinishing an old piece of furniture, whatever it is.
You don't have to sand the whole thing in one weekend, sand half of it. And two weekends.
Yes.One hair at a time.Yes, one hair at a time.That's right.
Because time passes really quickly and we're all just sitting there blinking our eyes going, oh, we're at 7 hours and 11 minutes already.Shit.We're home free.But today, while reading one of the chapters, I ran into something and I was like, what the?
What happened here?And honestly, going through the book, and we're not going through every single page because I'm doing a lot of riffing and that would take, there'd be 19 hours of actual audio book.
But every once in a while I run into something and I say, Mike, flag that.We got to circle that.Something's up with that.We got to fix that.
The ship is not sailing, it's not past the point of no return.
It's comical because they tell you in the book world they do a lot of, it's a lot of girl who cried deadline.
My editor basically saying this is our last day, this is our drop dead day, you can't turn anything in past this and then three weeks goes by and they go we didn't think the blurb in the back was that funny, we want you to come up with something else and it's like what happened to the three weeks ago when we had the deadline?
That's only when you want to change something.
Right.And that will lead us to a story that I find will be hysterical, thought-provoking, miraculous, and tears will be shed as well.But I will not get to that story yet.And I'll tell you why.
Because once I yank the Band-Aid off of that story, it's going to get wildly insulting, and it may go on for a long time.And then everyone's going to get pissed off, and Mike's going to get yelled at especially.
That story has hemophilia.You rip the Band-Aid off?Yeah, exactly.
So we will we will get into that soon sooner than later.
Oh, it's excellent.It is excellent.But this time I was in the booth this afternoon and we're kind of getting to the end of our me saying and even a little stupid thing like
We got to the end of one chapter, and we're getting ready to move on to the next, and I was going to kind of try to get out of here by about 3 o'clock this afternoon.And I said to Mike, where are we at time-wise?
And Mike said, well, we're at 52 minutes.And he said, we're at the end of the chapter, so let's just pick it up tomorrow.And I said, no, let's get to 60, just like these little
that you can just go, fuck it, I'm gonna push through another extra couple minutes.And it just makes the whole process go that much faster, but it makes it that much easier.
But we ran into a thing, and I ran into a thing that I was reading today, and sometimes you run into something and you go, Mike, why did we write this?This feels weird.
And then he- I know in my writing process, I often do.
And he goes, but in this case, I have a backup, I have Mike.I have Mike, why do we do this?And he goes, I don't know, this seems weird.And then I go,
Did we miss this and then the good news is Mike has a laptop and he can pull up what we wrote Versus the edited version and what got added or deleted So here's what you're up against when you're writing a book and the drop dead we're locking it off date was yesterday and it's also a funny thing to where I said to Mike I said Mike I
shoot an email to the editor and say, listen, no bullshit.We're finding a lot of stuff as we're going through this and would really like the opportunity to dial it in and make some little changes, some nips and some tucks.
Sometimes it's the difference between at and is.And then there were little things that were kind of fucked up.Like there was something that said Napoleon Syndrome instead of Napoleon Complex.
And there's stuff where you're like, whoa, we got to fix that.And some stuff bigger, some stuff smaller.
Is this stuff they had edited in?
Some of it is us fucking up, some of it is them fucking up.Oftentimes it's us.I mean, it's us.It's 100,000, 110,000 words.There's just going to be a little shit.Like Mike just wrote Napoleon Syndrome instead of Complex, and I didn't catch it.
And now I did when I was reading it out loud.So we fixed it.
I should fire you and burn down your frigging house.
So he doesn't have a house.
He lives in a shitty apartment.Yeah, but I said.With Armenians.So.
I should fire you and burn down your frigging apartment.
Thank you. So you run into stuff, so I said, write the editor an email and say, seriously, no bullshit this time.
Locked off, drop dead, because we're going through this, and we're finding little bits and pieces, and we think we can make it a little bit better, but we really need to know where that, just no bullshit, no girl that cried deadline, what that date is.
He said, 24 hours.It was like one of those, I knew it wouldn't be a fucking week.I knew it wouldn't be three days.I knew somehow it would just, it was literally 9 a.m.tomorrow, East Coast time.So it'd be 6 a.m.our time.
And I was like, how fucking perfect.So all right. So I said, well, Mike, we've only covered half the book.I don't know what we're going to run into, but now we got to see.
So I was reading a chapter on my house up in La Crescenta with my old buddy Ralph and Cortland and the parties and the pool and the whole nine yards.And I ran into something that stopped me.And this is at the end of the session today.
And I thought Dawson would just read us into it.And the reason he's reading us into it is because it has a context. and it has sort of a story before it.We're on a point.I'm making a point on a topic.
I'll give you their version and our version and I'll show you what stopped me and then we'll see what we can do about it.
So in order to justify having the master suite... Hold on.
This is my version.This is the correct version.So this is how we sent it to them.
So in order to justify having the master suite, Ralph was in charge of the pool and the lawn.This worked out alright during the summer when he wanted to be outside.But when it was a little bit colder, he couldn't do his due diligence.
One year I had to take it upon myself to drain the pool and clean it.As I recount this story, keep in mind that this was a large pool.Not quite Olympic size, but as big as you'll see in a residential application.
That particular year, Ralph was so derelict in his duty that the pool had turned into the Black Lagoon.I rented a bilge pump and drained off the first several thousand gallons of swamp water.
But the last three feet that had congregated in the deep end was a sludge so thick and viscous it wouldn't go through the pump.
It was the consistency of crude oil and comprised of decomposing leaves and possibly a decomposing hooker Ralph couldn't be bothered dumping at the park.
I, wearing supermarket slip-on shoes and cut-offs, proceeded to remove it with a flathead shovel one scoop at a time.
I was using an over-the-shoulder chuck technique, so half of the putrid swill made it out of the pool and the other half rained back down on me.
It was a terrible day, made worse by the fact that Ralph was sitting in plain view watching TV the whole time. We had a hot tub too, but that was always well kept because it was the ultimate destination when we'd bring home the ladies.
We had enough naked hot tub parties that Ralph started referring to the place as Shea Nude.Alright, so that's how we sent it in.
The beginning part was me just talking about having to take care of the pool and Ralph letting the pool get out of control and all that.Now I'm reading it and we don't have to go through the top part with the pool and the putrid swill and all that.
Now this is their version of it, books locked off.You'll just get from the pool into the hot tub.
We had a hot tub too, but that secret was always well kept because it was the ultimate destination when we'd bring home the ladies. All right.Why did they put the word secret in there?
Right.That's not at all what you said.
And what topic were we on?Secret destinations to bring home the lady?
No, they just inserted the word secret because it was always well kept.Right.That secret was always well kept.
They assumed you forgot the word secret and slipped it in there.Right, except for- Yeah, which changes the meaning entirely.
There was nothing discussed about ladies and secrets.It was all about- Ralph didn't do the front lawn.Ralph didn't do the swimming pool.We did have a hot tub.That was well kept because that's where the ladies would come.
Is that how the book editing world works?Is they just make changes and don't ask like what you meant?
That was Whoopi Goldberg-esque.
I don't feel like they improved anything, you know No, I feel like they messed it up because that's not I mean unless you want to change the story But that's not what you're trying to say.
No, and why are we keeping a hot tub a secret from the ladies, right?And for your man man soaks kind of conversations we'd have at the bar.I'll tell you I
We got a hell of a kitchen sink and we got a hell of a garage, but one thing we don't have... hot tub, ladies.
There's nothing more to say.We don't have one.
As a matter of fact, I would like to come back and see your not hot tub.
We don't even have a bathtub.
We have almost no place to trap water.
But then where can we congregate wearing bikinis?
I don't know.I guess you could run around the lawn and spray with a hose.It was a little cold out.Yeah.So they put the word secret in there, which.
And then did they take out the chenud part?
By the way, read my fucking part.No, I just had him stop.Read how we had it just come off the pool into the thing and see if you don't get what we're talking about.
I just did 20 minutes on the pool and how the pool was a mess and how I had to clean the pool and how Ralph let the pool go.And now we got.
It was a terrible day made worse by the fact that Ralph was sitting in Plainview watching TV the whole time.We had a hot tub, too.But that was always well-kept, because it was the ultimate destination when we'd bring home the ladies.
If it's a secret, who's keeping it well-kept?
They weren't reading.I cannot tell you how many of these situations happen, and that's fine, but you've got to circle the shit and tell us.
Because otherwise, you think they're just doing grammar or punctuation or spellcheck or whatever, you know, they're like adding words and doing things, obviously, obviously missing the point.But again, the point was,
pool not well-kept, this well-kept.So now the question is this, book locked off yesterday.I don't like the fact that they shoved that fucking secret and made this thing confusing.
And by the way, it's like, it's weird because it makes it a little run on and now I'm shifting gears.Like, but that was always a secret from the ladies.Like, I don't know what the fuck they're talking about.You completely changed the context of it.
So how about you open it up and get rid of your shitty secret word.And when I say secret word, don't guess. Shh.Get rid of it.
Or they can go through and just cross it out on all the books and all the Kindles.
All right.So give them their choice, Mike.And Lynch, did you point that out to them?And what are they going to do?
I did.I've not received a response to the email.All right.It's fucked up, and they need to get rid of it.
It's just on your point.The point is that, obviously, the pool or the hot tub was maintained because that benefited him.Why would you fix?And now it's a non sequitur now.Does this seem like it needs fixing?
We had a hot tub, but that was always well-kept because we brought the ladies there.
Yeah, like I said, if it's a secret, from whom and who's maintaining it then?
And was it ever discussion before that?I mean, before that was a lot of talk about Ralph not doing the lawn and Ralph being in the master bedroom and never doing this and never doing that.It was all leading into this one direction.
I think Dawson's right.They just weren't quite reading. Yeah.To comprehend.
That's fine.If you're not doing that, then don't add anything.
And maybe don't add it.There's no reasonable explanation for that.
Yes, there is no reasonable explanation for that.And welcome to my world, baby.All right, so we'll see if we can get that pulled out.And then later on, don't anyone come up to me and go, hey, man, because I'll go, hey, man, that wasn't me.
The book, like I said... Where's the party?I think it'll be about eight hours long, hopefully.And that'll be us skipping my grandma's chapter.God bless her, but she's dead.She ain't coming back to bother me.All right.
Now, my dad's pissed off because he wanted to play the horn.
I know, I heard that conversation and I felt a lot of love between you guys.
I got to say, my dad wants to just play the horn.That's what he wants to do.But the thing about playing the horn, that's fine, but you have to kind of earn your audience.
And I told them, you can come on this show to talk about your show and try to do that.But if you just want to use it as a platform to play your horn, that's not going to probably suck people in.
So at a certain point, I just said, do you want to play the horn or do you want to talk about your show?
And, uh, and I should have known because, uh, one time it was very, uh, it was very telling, you know, my dad's good guy, but my dad, you know, he's laid back.He's into, he's into him.
And, uh, he said to me once way out of character, I was playing the El Portel theater out here in North Hollywood about a year and a half ago.And he said to me, Hey, uh, I hear you're playing the El Portel theater.And I went, I am.
And I remember my mind racing, like, what?What does he want to know?Wow, I've done everything.I've had San Gennaro feasts.We've done Long Beach Grand Prixs.I've done a thousand stand-up shows.
You're like Good Will Hunting doing calculations, like, where's this going?
I've done a thousand episodes of Man Show and everything else, right, you know, three miles from his house.He never asked, what am I doing?And I said, and by the way, it just goes to show you, you're always right with your instinct.
Like, if your spidey sense ever goes, huh, what?Especially with family.Yeah, always with family.So I went like, uh, yeah. And he said, yeah, maybe I'll come down.And I said, what?And he said, and play the horn.And I went, yeah.It was nice.
It's nice to have everything make, yeah, I said, go ahead.But it's nice when things make sense.You know what I mean?Because that's all you have in life.All you have in life is you going, huh, what?
And then if you go through your life and go, huh, what?And you're never right, then you're fucked up.Then you're, huh, what's off.You're walking around, huh, what?But when you do the, huh, what? What?And then about 18 seconds later you go, oh yeah.
Again, famously, my wife wants to choke me every time I tell this story, but when she got a new jag a few years ago, immediately put a nice scuff in the side of it.Probably not her fault, probably someone who did it.
It was like somebody just took an old timey 1940s dress shoe a reporter would wear and took that heel Remember they used to use that heel for everything?Like clean scuffs!And they'd just use that heel on floors now.Mopping magic, you know?
It looked like someone took a scuff on that heel and just dragged it along the side of her car about 8-10 inches long.And of course I did the... She said, grab a rag and a little polish from the garage and get rid of that scuff on your brand new Jag.
And she's like, yeah, I got it.And then a month went by, nothing.And I kept passing it on the driveway and I was like, car's brand new, it's 60 grand.
She said, go down to the garage, get a little polish and just put on a wet rag and get rid of that thing. Yeah, yeah.I got it.And another two months went by.Never went anywhere.Never left.Always there.I brought up about five times.To be fair, four.
Four and a half.And it wasn't going to happen.Why should she?And just because I'm bringing it up.And at some point, What's in it for her?At some point, I saw her just walking out with purpose one Sunday morning.
Started coming out, got the rag, got the polish, heading out to the car.I said, where are you going?She said, go ahead and take that scuff out of the side of the car. Really?After four months of me talking about it, now you're gonna do it?"
And she goes, absolutely.And then I just walked away and I took about three steps and I turned around and I said, what are you doing?And she said, what?Taking the scuff out.And then what?Then I'm picking up Nils Lofgren from the airport.
And I'm like, oh, from the E Street Band?Yeah.And I said, okay, now I can continue about my day. for a moment.Right.
The incongruity was paralyzing.
I'm I'm remobilized.That's how it works.
Now.OK.Are you ever off when you're like, hmm.Uh huh.Do you ever jump to the wrong.Uh huh.
Every once in a while a race will mess me up.But like blacks. Blacks will toss a curve at you every once in a while, but very rarely.
Yeah.I find that races and religions and nationalities and human beings rarely disappoint.And not always for good or for bad, just once you get to know them.If somebody said, what happened?
Well, Mike Lynch was pretty drunk and he screamed at Matt and then he stormed out of here in a huff, I'd be like, That's not, oh, the porcelain punisher.I'd be like, that's not Mike.That's not the Mike I know.It's rare.
There's very rare occasion when people sort of do something that's out of their field of norm.Yes, the box I put them in.Well, it's the box they put themselves in.How do I know what fucking box you go in? You make the box and then you climb into it.
And then sometimes you'll shovel the dirt onto it as well.But either way, I know who does what.It's real easy.You can get like, if you work with like 10 people and you're like, oh, we ordered a bunch of fill in the blank pizzas or something.
But there was one person that was complaining that they didn't have, nine of the people will know who that one person is.Now, is that coincidence? Do you see what I'm saying?I do.That's their box.They made the box.They'll know it for me, too.
I mean, everybody has their thing.It's not all good and not all bad.But the point is, when my dad says, hey, you doing a show in town?What night?There's warning signals that go flying.I mean, there's an alarm that goes off in my head.
You're actually seeing troops running down a hall going different directions, splitting in front of the camera, splitting different directions.
Because I remember when I first joined the show, I think you were waiting to find out that I was actually crazy, right?
But then it turned out that I'm not crazy.
No, you're just neurotic.
Thank you.You've been upgraded.I forget my point now because flattery.
But understand, you're funny, you write really well, you have titties, and you're Jewish.So I was waiting for you to be nuts.But not nuts like when my friends are nuts, they're more like stab you with a coat hanger or never show up.
Not that kind of nudge.Just weird nuts where we have some sort of exchange.
I thought it was some sort of diva yelling at people kind of nudge.
No, no, no.More like turn it in and then turn it out.Like one minute you're sobbing in the corner because I made some sort of snarky remark like, alright, you got any more news?
Because it feels like it's been going on for a while and then we find you like cutting on yourself and crying in the corner.
How about you leave the joking to Adam?
And then the next moment... Cutting my hair in the bathroom, I got a co-worker who did that.Right, and then the next moment you're screaming at Gary for nothing, just like screaming half-tired at Gary, for nothing, like that.
I thought you'd be that kind of nuts.
Right, right, because I defied my box. Yeah, I did.Eat more pussy.
Yeah, well, but to be fair to you and to me, you not really earned your box yet.I hadn't or haven't?No, no, you hadn't.Right.There's two boxes.I make a collapsible portable box that I can bring with me and just sort of fold out.
Like a pet carrier?It's like a pop cup for a dog's water.Yes.
That's what I was gonna say.I have that kind of box.
You know, it's like a sort of fold-out table.It's comfortable.
Yeah, it's good.It's the difference between a high-back recliner chair and just like a fold-out camping chair.It'll do, but you wouldn't set it up in your living room.
I keep one of those with me because I need to make a box and maybe I've only known you for 12 hours.I mean, I gotta have a box.
You've lost that one.And then I sit on that while I'm constructing The permanent box, which I'm almost done with.You see what I'm saying?
Please punch a couple air holes in it.
I'll think about it.Thank you.You see what I'm saying?
All right, so... You need your temporary box.Once you... Everyone basically builds their own box.Now, you don't physically build it.
I sit and watch you, and whether you know it or not, I'll build it to your exact specifications, even though you won't tell me anything.
I'm creeped out right now, and kind of flattered, and also frightened.
Listen, I love your box, baby.I'd like to be in it with you.Thanks.And is anybody, and is anybody, you know, we worked at KailaSex for three years, Paul Bryan.Anyone turn out to be any different?
Any disappointments one way or the other?You rarely got... Images are flooding to mind.You rarely get disappointed by anybody's behavior.Everyone's behavior was very consistent.Brasco was Brasco.He's one of the good ones.
I'm talking about the evil ones.No, but good or bad.Yeah, yeah.That's right.Boxes can be good.Like Larry has a great box, for example.Sure.Larry Miller.
Larry Miller does, yeah.So he has a great box. Oh, no, and sometimes my wife's a great person.She's the most loving, warm, great mother.She's a great wife.Great box.But I know her box.
It doesn't involve rubbing out scuff marks on a fender on a random Sunday. It's not like... Right.
Sometimes there's not a judgment attached to knowing the box.You just know the contours and so you're going to feel it if they step outside.
Everybody thinks there's a judgment attached to it.It's more like an acknowledgment.I don't know.It's not really a judgment.
It's a compliment.It's you knowing them. Sort of.Trying to make it sound better.
It's the guy who never picks up a check, picking up a check, and you thinking, why is this guy picking up a check?And then while you're walking out to the car, he's like, hey, listen, things are pretty tight for me right now.
Do you think I could borrow a couple?And as he's asking to borrow a couple grand, you go, oh, I get it.That's why he picked up the $41 check for our brunch.
You see what I'm saying?So there's the moment where he's picking the check up where you're going, This guy fucking never picks up a check.You're not saying he's a bad human being, he never picks up a check.
It's just, it's out of this guy's box to pick up the check.And then on the way to the car where he goes, hey, uh, can I have a minute, Allison? Listen, things are pretty tight.As soon as he starts saying that, you go, oh, here's the box.
He gets one leg into it, and he goes, so do you think maybe you could front me about, and now he's put his next foot into it, and as he starts saying five grand, he just bends over, and the box, the tape goes right after it.That's right.
Now, is he a bad dude?No.You like the guy.You have brunch with the guy.It's just he's never picked up the tab.So it's confusing that he is now. And now you're back.
But the funny thing is the idea that that would actually soften the blow of asking to borrow that money.Oh, well, you picked up my egg whites.So yes.
I don't know.But this is a scenario, by the way.
But what I'm saying is, if something happens and it seems a little out of character or a little out of the blue, there's usually something attached to it.
No, the thing that happens to me most often is that someone who I never knew that well, or maybe I did, but I just haven't talked to in a while, will reach out out of the blue.And there's usually something behind that.
It's not just like, oh, hey, I was thinking of you and wondering how you're doing.I mean, it sounds like that, but then there's...
So, everyone has a box.I have a box, you have a box, everyone has a box.Everyone likes to pretend like they didn't build their own box.You build your own box.
And as I said, if you take all the characters we've ever worked with, Bald Brian, has anyone's box been disappointing or needed to be altered in any significant way?
I would say especially in radio, people seal themselves hermetically in their box.Their box becomes who they are.
So everyone's got a good box and a bad box.I mean, some people's boxes is filled with more manure than others.But for the most part, it's not a bad thing.When I noticed this thing about Lynette, I love Lynette.Lynette's a great mom.
She's a great wife.She's a great person.But this didn't seem to be, this seemed to be way out of her box.So I know, you know, it struck me.
It's interesting when people don't know their own box, though, or are in denial about it.Like I was actually just talking with the... They don't know I know.
That's the part that I find amusing.
Like I was just on the podcast that I had, I was talking with the guests beforehand and I was talking about the fact that I always...
think I wish I could be the kind of person who makes small talk with people in line at the grocery store or in an elevator, someone who just spreads joy by making someone feel comfortable and important by talking to them.But I'm not that person.
I've never been that person.And I should give up wishing I could be that person who just talks to everyone and is just super chatty and smiley.You know, I should accept that I'm in the sort of taciturn reserved box.
Ironically, you just spoke for five minutes, and now I'm miserable.So perhaps you should give it up.And get back in your box, milady.
I'm going to go cry and cut.
Please, not in that order.All right, I went the first thing to hit the floor to beat blood.Either way, super salty. All right, Thousand Oaks, Borderline, Friday, May 11th.See me get out of my box.
And me and Dennis Prager in San Diego discussing important box-related theorems like this.Spreckles Theater, May 5th.Live podcast... This Saturday?Yeah, it's sold out.
So screw that.Thanks, y'all. Yeah, it's fun.You guys have been selling out every single one of these live shows, and you guys know from doing it, it's a fucking lot more fun being up on stage with a sold-out house.
So much more fun.It feels easier.
And it's, listen, performing in front of a live crowd when the crowd is live, and there's a lot of them in there, it's the difference between work and role.You know, it's the difference between
something that actually feels like you're earning your money versus, hey man, fuck, it's been an hour and a half already?Shit.
That was fun.All right, quick break.Will Sasso in studio next.
All right, this is Adam Carolla Show 809.That does it for today's Carolla Classics.Rest in peace, Jim Carolla.
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