Well, hello and welcome once again to Raging and Eating.That is Raging and Eating, baby.How are you doing?You having kind of a crazy week?You feeling like everything is inside out and upside down?
I'm thinking of that old disco song from the 70s, like, inside out, upside down.It's upside down, you're turning me to do-do-do.Anyway, how the hell did it go?I don't even remember. I think you know the song I'm talking about.
Anyway, the thing is my equilibrium is at a whack because all the things I thought were true suddenly are not true.Like when I was growing up, I always thought that the president of the United States had to be a really good person.
And the first president I was really aware of was Richard Nixon. And I found out he was a bad person.He broke the law.He got caught.And I was so confused, I said, I didn't understand.The president could be a bad person and break the law?
And then he lost his job.So I understood.So I said, OK, it's possible that the president of the United States can be a bad person.But when he gets caught, he's going down, baby.So I understood that.And then some years went by, and I noticed
every time a politician or leader got in trouble for doing some naughty sexual thing, they always either were shamed or run out of town or lost their job, you know, bad things happen to them.Like Anthony Weiner
He sort of, I don't know what his deal was, but him having a name of wiener as a last name was kind of tragic because he clearly had a problem with his wiener, that he couldn't stop using it.
Anyway, so he lost his career for waving his wiener around.And Bill Clinton, loved him, still do.I met him.He's captivating, actually, in person.It was really when I understood that pheromone thing.
You know, I did an event, and he was a guest, and I got to meet him and hug him. And he looked deeply in my eyes, and I actually felt my knees kind of melting a little bit.So I get it.But he had an affair on his wife.
And he got in a lot of trouble, and half the country was really angry at him. And all these years later, really a lot of people are still angry at him.So I came to understand that the country, you know, was not so keen on you misbehaving badly.
They really didn't like you cheating on your wife.And that was definitely a career bummer, you know.So what did I learn?You want to be the leader of the United States.Don't break the law.Don't cheat on your wife.
Don't abuse anyone or harass anyone sexually.I mean, Al Franken, what happened to him?He was a good guy.He took one stupid photograph.Out he went.I loved our Governor Cuomo.You know, he did a great job during COVID in New York.
And a lot of people complained about him sexually.Bam, no more job for you, no matter how powerful you thought you were or how old school you thought you were. But, you know, so that's the lesson.
You want to be the leader of the country, then you don't break the law, you don't cheat on your wife, you don't misbehave sexually, you don't commit crimes, fraud, lying, cheating, you know, all the stuff.So I get it.
It's part of my foundation, this knowledge.By the way, That's one of the Fred family you're listening to outside, you remember?
I was feeding the Cardinal Fred, and then he brought his wife Ethel, and then their kids came, and then it was Baby Fred and Clone Fred.Well, so out here right now is Rotten Fred.He's very, he's a chauvinistic pig.
I gotta say, somehow I find him appropriate, because Rotten Fred is not as proud and beautiful as his daddy was, but he loves to eat all the food and not save any of it for the girls. It's really rude, but I digress.
In any case, all these things I thought to be true.And I think, you know, growing up, these are the things you say to your children.I know that we were always in trouble if we lied.We certainly were in trouble if we took something that wasn't ours.
You know, you break the rules, you lie, you're in trouble, you cheat, you're in trouble.All these things.So, Here we are now, you know, this is really regardless of which way you voted.
You have to admit, if someone had asked you 10 years ago, if someone who was found convicted of 34 felonies, who was found guilty of sexually abusing a woman who had 27 or 30 or 50, I don't even know how many, sexual assault allegations against them, if someone did all of those things,
If they married and divorced and married and divorced and married three times and cheated on every wife they were ever with, if they cheated on their last wife with a porno star, used campaign money to hush up the porno star, and had this affair with the porno star while your last wife was pregnant, if that person could be president, you would have said,
Think about this.We're just talking about, let's say I asked you this question in 2010.You would have said, no way, Jose.You would have bet your life savings that it wasn't possible.
And quite honestly, if that person was a Democrat, you would still say the same thing today.But sure enough, here we are.Half the country, I believe half, well enough to win anyway, elected this guy.
who's a sexual abuser, criminal, wife cheater, you know.So I don't know.It makes me feel like it's like upside down day, inside out, upside down.It's inside out and upside down day.I remember growing up, that was something that we did as kids.
Like let's do opposite day.Let's do upside down day.And that's a little bit like how it feels.So, I would say, like right now, I'm getting ready, believe it or not, to get on a plane and go to a red state.I'm going to St.
Louis, although I want to say St.Louis, like meet me in St.Louis.And I would ask everyone there, like, okay, I get it.
If you voted for this guy, times are hard, you're hoping they'll be better, or maybe you're upset about the immigrants, maybe you're upset about the price of milk.
You know, there's all different things you might be upset about, but didn't any of these things bother you? Doesn't it bother you at all to know that this guy you just voted for is not someone that you could leave your 16 year old daughter with?
It's just kind of my equilibrium.Okay.All right.I'm not going to keep going on about that because it's endless, but it's making me feel completely out of whack.So I'm thinking is something so crazy.
like this is happening, then it really is inside-out and upside-down day.So how might we just follow through with that?Let's say we spend the next four years living in an inside-out, upside-down day.Let's just see it through.
You wanted to vote for a woman abuser, criminal, I mean all of that.Let's see it through.It doesn't make sense.Women who believe in governing their own body, who are pro-choice, who are pro-a-woman's-right-to-choose,
voted for the guy who shot the death penalty at Roe vs. Wade.So that's crazy.Upside-down day, inside-out day.
So I would say what I'll start doing for the next four years is wearing my brassiere on the outside of my shirt instead of on the inside of my shirt.What do you think?I think that could be a good inside-out, upside-down day.And I
I would suggest that men start wearing their jock strap on the outside of their shorts or the outside of their running pants or the outside of their jeans or pants or whatever they're wearing, instead of on the inside.
That would be good inside-out, upside-down day stuff, right?What else might we do?Well, let's see.How about on Christmas?Because the whole point of Christmas, right, is that you are supposed to be good And if you're good, you get presents.
But if you're bad, you just get a coal or maybe a rock if you don't have a coal.Well, so that doesn't work anymore in this world because we are celebrating and honoring a criminal woman abuser cheater, right?
So he should have gotten all the coals, no guess.But since we did, not me included in the we clearly, but since enough people did, let's just change Christmas for Halloween. switch it.It's inside out, upside down world now.
So let's celebrate Halloween on Christmas.So instead of giving gifts, you go trick-or-treat.And instead of Santa Claus, you have Dracula.
And instead of having Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer and the sleigh, you have Frankenstein, and you have some ghosties, and you have zombies.Let's say it's a a bunch of zombies and Rudolph, or maybe it's zombie Rudolph.
That would kind of make sense for inside-out, upside-down day.And instead of sitting down and having dinner at night, why don't you sit down and have breakfast at night?
That actually is not a bad thing to do because breakfast for dinner is kind of fabulous.It's a restaurant I like going to just because they believe in serving breakfast for dinner.So why not sit down and have eggs and bacon and pancakes? for dinner.
It doesn't work that well in reverse, though.It is a little unappetizing to have a steak and mashed potatoes for breakfast, I have to say.But doing the breakfast for dinner thing works pretty well.I'm down for that completely.
Think about other things.Here's a good one, right?Who is it who decided that Saturday and Sunday was the weekend?That Friday night, you go out, party.And then you have Saturday, party.
and then you have Sunday just rest and recuperate and maybe you're hungover.That's the weekend.You have Saturday and Sunday off, right?Well, why don't we just decide that you are going to have to work on Saturday?That's right.Work, bitch.
Time to go to work.And you're going to have to work on Sunday, too.But yes, I know you're working on Shabbos.Just hear me out.You're working on the Sabbath, whatever.Hear me out.You have to work on Saturday and Sunday.
And Monday and Tuesday is the weekend. That would be inside-out, upside-down day, wouldn't it?So think about it.At first, it'd be really cool because you'd have the whole restaurant to yourself.
You know, I, as a caterer, am used to working on Saturdays and Sundays, and my weekend has always been Mondays and Tuesdays.And the nice thing about it is you have rooms. Like I look around my neighborhood on a Saturday and Sunday, forget it.
It's so crowded and you need reservations.You need a reservation to blow your nose.I'm sorry, dear.That corner is taken.You must blow your nose over there.But on a Monday or Tuesday, everyone is friggin' thrilled to see you.Right?
So that's another inside-out, upside-down day.Now I got that song.Inside-out, upside-down.Anyway.
digress again so recently I had a pretty spectacular experience after many years of trying Barnes & Noble yes the Barnes & Noble baby they invited me to be a headliner at their bookstore at the gorgeous superstore on the Upper West Side which is really a swank Barnes & Noble and I'd been planning on it for a long time but it was
couple days after the election, and there were a few things I knew.I knew that it seemed to take four days to decide the election last time, so I didn't figure we would know the answer two days after the election.
But also, I really did feel in my soul that we were going to be celebrating our very first and long last female president.
After Hillary put like a million cracks in the ceiling, that greatest glass ceiling, I thought we were finally going to get there.But of course, upside down, right?Inside out, upside down.Didn't happen.Then I thought, well, no one's going to come.
They're going to be so depressed.And then I thought, what the hell am I going to talk about?How can I make people laugh now?I mean, it's like so much hazarai.In New York, it felt a lot like the morning after September 11th.
And actually, the 2016 election felt a lot like the morning after September 11th.People were crying, teary-eyed on the subway.People were just going through the motions.
Except for all the clueless, ignorant people who don't even know what day it is and probably didn't vote, and they haven't even watched the news.But most people were depressed.Most people had the decency to be depressed.
But I thought, you know, how am I going to make these people laugh? Anyway, here's the thing that happened.Not only did a lot of people come, but actually a huge amount of people came.Even more people came than I was expecting.
So that every single chair Barnes & Noble put out was full.And there was a standing room crowd behind the chairs.And what I didn't know is that there were speakers on the floor below.
where what I was talking about was being heard by a crowd of people below as well.So I would say it was about as good a turnout as I think you could get if ever I felt a little bit like a rock star in that moment to see all those people.
It might have been that moment.So I knew that I couldn't ignore the fact that just about everyone in Barnes & Noble was sad and heartbroken.
Because people who read books tend to be a little on the intellectual side, introspective perhaps, and I think that everyone just recognized that this was a tragic thing.So I thought, how will I get them to laugh?And so the first thing I did
was I said, look, I'm upset.A lot of chazerai.Are you all upset?Everyone was upset.So then I said, why don't we just take a moment to let out a loud scream or a loud yell and just let it out?We're all here together.It's a safe place.
Where else can you really scream and yell?Let's just go for it.And I said, I'll tell you what, I'll go first. And I just went, I won't do it because I'll break your eardrums.But a huge scream, yeah, endless scream.
It really felt good in the kishkas, let me tell you.And everyone in the audience started yelling and screaming.And a lot of people were dropping the F-bomb and the MF-bomb and all sorts of things I can't say on public radio.But it was very cathartic.
And then after everyone let it out, I said, do you feel better?Didn't that feel good?It felt so good.I said, but now we are powerful.Reclaim your power.Let's roar like lions.I'm a Leo, so I'll do anything to feel like a lion.
I said, let's let it out.And so I started.I went roar, huge roar, roar.And everyone was roaring and roaring. And it felt gorgeous.And one woman, my friend Linda in the front row, said, meow, meow.It was kind of funny.
We were all cracking up, all the roaring, and then the meow.So it's this huge feeling of explosion and gloriousness, where we just got our funk out.It was very cleansing and empowering, the roaring.The whole thing was gorgeous.
And then from that point, I could go on. I explained, you know, I had meant this as a celebration of her first female president and a celebration of womanhood, of women and women's rights and diversity.I meant all those things.
But this can still be all those things.And so I talked a lot about my life working in a man's world, being a professional chef in the 80s when women were not welcome in professional kitchens, which is kind of amazing.
because men love their mother's cooking and they love their wife's cooking supposedly, but they really could not stand the thought of a woman with a chef's uniform getting paid to cook.It just bothered them.It bugged the you-know-what out of them.
So I talked about that, talked about climbing over that and being better and stronger and faster, and gentlemen, we can rebuild the first bionic woman.There, I just digress for a second.
And I kind of had a great, joyful, laughing, amazing event, full of laughter and hugs and kisses and tears.It was a huge love fest, not to mention the fact that all the books sold, and everyone was just invigorated.It was as good as it gets.
I'm still kind of floating on air about it.So I don't know.I don't really want to come down off that air. But I'm back to what I said, even though this was a glorious, glorious night.
I'm back to feeling a little bit that the world is in an inside-out, upside-down, crazy, psycho, topsy-turvy thing.So I do suggest that we spend the next four years being absurd, even more absurd.Like, do you remember the old Superman comics?
I used to love reading comic books.
the 60s 70s there was something called I think it was bizarro world bizarro world and bizarro Superman and everything was backwards and weird and inside out and it's kind of bizarro world right so let's keep doing absurd things because it's the only thing that feels appropriate like I think that we should go and tell everyone who's in prison
who's in prison because of theft, who's in prison because of petty crimes, who's in prison because of marijuana, which really should be illegal and is a lot better for you than drinking, I think, who's in prison for anything that you would call sort of a G-rated crime, tell all of these people that they're free to go.
Because the country just elected a man who'd done crimes a thousand times worse. and they just made him president.So you can't put someone in jail for selling marijuana or shoplifting.You know, it's crazy.Just let them all go.
And we should start telling all our children, yes, in fact, you can lie to your heart's content. because the more you lie, the better your chances are of winning public office.
And we should tell our children, yes, you can shoplift to your heart's content, but try to go for millions and billions of dollars because then maybe you'll be president.In our inside-out, upside-down world.
all right maybe those things are a little too much because we are supposedly good people we're trying to be good people right so just because the country rewarded one really you know I can't use the words anymore let's just say it orange creature criminal
then it doesn't mean that you want to inspire your children to do all those things, does it?I don't know.But in an inside-out, upside-down world, anything is possible.
So we're going to have breakfast for dinner, and then also on Valentine's Day, when you're supposed to be romantic, let's celebrate divorce day.
So Valentine's Day will now become divorce day, and everyone who's divorced will go out and celebrate being divorced. And for Valentine's Day, maybe we'll put that on Veterans Day instead.So Veterans Day has now become a day of romance.
And so no more war, just love.Make love, not war, right?Then we'll move Veterans Day.Let's move Veterans Day to, hmm, let me think about that.Thinking Groundhog's Day?Would that work?I don't know.
But let's just change all the holidays and shake it up, because we're inside out, upside down day.So I suppose I should give you a recipe.So we'll talk about a crazy, absurd recipe I made when I was a kid.Snickers Krispies. Chop up and melt Snickers.
Chop up and melt marshmallows.Well, you don't really have to chop them.Make a mushy, gushy thing and mix it with crushed up potato chips.Press it in a mold.Cut it into little pieces.
And you get these sort of like Rice Krispie treats, only there's Snickers and potato chip and marshmallow.And they're so good, it's absurd.You will die with how yummy they are.
I know when the first book came out, I had them in my first book because it was a childhood recipe.And when I was recipe testing it, I couldn't believe how good they were.
And then afterwards, when my book became a play, thanks to playwright Jacques Lamar, shout out to you, Jacques, we served it on the different places the play went.It went to St.Louis. to a new Jewish theater there in St.Louis.
It went to the Wellfleet Harbor Actors Theater at Cape Cod.It went to the Center Stage Theater in Rochester.It went to the Emerson Theater in Sedona, Arizona.It went to the Nora in Cambridge.It went to the Jewish Play Project on 14th Street.
It went to the AMT Theater off Broadway.I mean, it had a whole life.And we had these Snickers imitated Chip Krispies.Kind of crazy, right? So it works in an inside-out, upside-down world, though.
And maybe we could also try substituting Snickers bars for key ingredients in everything we make.Think about it.Let's say you love to make rice pilaf.I mean, I make a good rice pilaf where we cook the rice.Usually, we bake it.
And we'll mix it with pigeon peas or baby peas and chopped bell pepper and chopped onion Lots of herbs and saffron to make it gorgeous.But let's say instead we added chopped up Snickers bars.
And we put the rice in the oven, and the Snickers bars got all over into our rice.And we got this kind of nasty, ricey Snickers bars thing.Or let's say we started throwing in chopped up Snickers bars into our omelets for breakfast.
So you might have a gorgeous omelet with your coffee, but you're going to have chopped up Snickers bars in the omelet. That doesn't make a lot of sense, does it?
And even though it's kind of crazy and absurd, there's a part of you that's thinking, yum, Snickers omelets.I don't know.I don't know.I kind of think that might be gross.But where I have smoked a joint, I probably would think it was pretty good.
So what's interesting is I went on the Eyewitness News.That's a big deal news station in New York for Mother's Day a few years ago.And I was showing all my crazy food from the Raging Skillet book.And I showed my Snickers and potato chip crunchies.
And before I got on, they had had a mugging and a rape and a bunch of terrible crimes.And then they came over to me.Here's Chef Rossi with her recipes. So I started showing them my recipes.
And when I get to the Snickers recipe, I said, and here is a recipe I invented when I was 13 years old and extremely stoned.And I started giving my Snickers recipe.But the crazy thing is that the screen went black.
They censored me because even though there'd been a rape and a murder and a mugging and everything else on the news, evidently they didn't want me to talk about being 13 years old and stoned.It was a little bit nutty.
The worst thing is that they didn't censor the part where I said I was 13 years old and stoned.It's censored after, when I didn't say anything naughty at all.They were really mad at me, and they never invited me back on the news again.
The nerve of them.So I don't know.Anyway, we're in the inside-out, upside-down world, so I'm continuing my quest to do strange and bizarre things. But I think the strangest and most bizarre thing we can do is stay strong.
And that's not strange or bizarre.That's the opposite.Stay strong and stay loving.Stay caring, stay good, stay kind.
And just because one person was rewarded for being a criminal and was rewarded for being a cheater and rewarded for being a liar and rewarded for doing terrible things, just because one person was rewarded doesn't mean we have to be rewarded.
I know it doesn't seem fair, right?But I do think that if we all collectively can concentrate on being good and decent and loving and kind and honest,
then I have to hope and pray that that'll wash over all of this fear-mongering and hate and ugliness and pain and death and madness, you know.It's gotta make things better, right?Because if not, then that really is an inside-out, upside-down world.
But I think maybe it will.I do feel a little bit that all of the unwanted babies that are born because this guy who got into the White House helped put the kibosh on Roe versus Wade.
But I do feel that all of the unwanted babies from little girls who were raped by possibly a family member or someone else, all of those babies when they're born, which might be millions of them, who knows, I feel they should all be dropped off on Mar-a-Lago's lawn and have the orange man take care of them, pay for their upkeep, for their
food for their, for their clothing, for their college, for their housing.I think that he should support all of those children.Wouldn't be a pretty good, that'd be a pretty good idea.Would that work in inside out, upside down world?
I think it might be.So let's deliver all unwanted babies to Mar-a-Lago.And let's have breakfast for dinner.Let's make Mondays and Tuesdays the weekend.Let's celebrate Halloween on Christmas. And let's just be completely absurd.But there you have it.
Now, I was feeling pretty down, but I have to say it really cheered me up, all of that love at Barnes & Noble, getting everyone to laugh and cheer and helping everyone feel better.For one night, we felt great.
And of course, we went out after and had cocktails because that's what one does.But everyone was floating on air.And now I'm floating on absurdity. The world feels quite strange, darling, and so I'm going with it.
Now, I don't think I want to wear my bra outside my shirt today because I'm going to the Times Square area, and I think I might have a big crowd if I did that.But maybe just walking around my apartment for practice.I'll give it a shot.
I'll let you know how it is. So this is Rossi, better known as Chef Rossi, for Raging and Eating.And as always, food is love and so are you.Now go out and do something cray cray.
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