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Visit ixlearning.com slash audio to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price.Would you pay £70 for a cuddle?
I don't like being touched by strangers.
I'd pay £70 to not be cuddled.
On this episode of the Commercial Break,
And then she's like, no, you're so sweet.And then you're like, no, it's you, sweetie, that's so sweet.
And then she says, no, you're so sweet, sweet.And then you say, I'll take extra syrup with my pancakes.
You know how many freebies I've gotten that way?Just blowjobs right under the table.
You know how many old ladies are giving me head, taking out their dentures and knocking one off in the bathroom?
It's because I flirt with everybody.Everyone.
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.
Oh yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break.I'm Brian Green, this is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Kristen Joy Hoadley.Best to you, Kristen.
Best to you out there in the podcast universe.Thanks for joining us.Happy Friday after Halloween, Halloweeny.Thank you very much. And so now it's November 1st and it's officially holiday season.Holiday season is here.But no rest for us, Chrissy.
Our podcast network has told us that we cannot take any days off on the holiday season and that we must produce more content than ever. Bah humbug indeed.Pulling our stockings for the holiday season.
But I thought it was an important time to let people know that, you know, some podcasts do take off for the holiday season.We will not be taking off any time for the holiday season.
Yes, we've taken off enough time between my parathyroid, your menfo, and all the trips we've taken.We've taken off enough time this year and we're contractually obligated to meet a certain amount of episodes.I think that's 3,000 per year.
So we're only at 2,800.So we will be live with fresh episodes.I say live, you know what I mean.
We'll be fresh episoding it the entire holiday season, including the 12 days of TCB, our first ever 12 days of TCB, December 13th through the 25th through Christmas Day, brand new episodes for you to enjoy.
So enjoy your holiday vacation with some mediocre comedy.
Get the family around the Yuletide and blast up TCB.
Turn on TCB.Let the kids open up presents while Brian talks about shaving his balls.
What's a better gift than that?
What better gift than to hear Brian talk about his high calcium and low T?It'll be fun for the whole family.The kids will love it.And for our Jewish friends, light the candles and And spin the dreidel.
Yeah, and listen to Brian talk about dipping his balls in wine.
Which, oh my god, we saw it on- The D.D.
Cantor is officially a thing.I mean- It's crazy.
It really is.When you sent that to me, I was like, oh my god.So did they also hear the story at the same time and actually went through with the idea of putting together a book?
You know, I know that I'm fucking crazy and I know that I hear us.Yeah, that's the question.I know that I have had very high calcium for a long time and that kind of leads your brain to go different places.
But there is some times when I see stuff out there or I hear certain people say certain things and I just wonder if they heard that on an episode of the commercial break or if they literally came to that conclusion around the same time.
Chrissy, I sent Chrissy a picture the other day of an actual penis shaped decanter, like a de-decanter with balls.And it's a real item that you can buy.You can literally buy a de-decanter.And I thought to myself, wow.
And it got served up to me in an ad, in an ad that I know where they're serving that ad to me.So is it because I talked about decanting wine with your testicles, tasting your tasty teas, that they served that up to me?
Or is this just a product that was developed by- Right away, sir.
Right away, sir. Sir, your testicles have impeccable taste.This is a Chateau Memon 1967.Would you like to stick your hairy tees in it?Yes, Sir Marier.I exfoliated this morning.I just nutfoliated.My buds are blooming and ready for the tasting.
Yes, it's good.I can imagine being at like Hal's or something like that.Just whipping out your nuts, yeah.Dipping them in the canter.
Would you like to taste it with your tongue or your testicles?
Well, now that you ask, do you mind?
I can see the kids bringing their wives and husbands home with all the kids and I'm just around the table like Clark Griswold. And I break out a bottle of wine.I've been saving this for a very special occasion.And I pour it into like a cereal bowl.
Just take out my testicles and dip it in there.
You don't mind if I take a second taste, do you?
I just don't want to be wasteful.No.Let every drip drop back into the bowl, into the de-canter.That's the special stuff.That's the good stuff.
That's $100 a drop. I tell the story about, with his friend one time, and he went into, we went to celebrate our engagement, Astrid and I's engagement.So this is years ago.And this friend was very wealthy.
He had a lot of money and, and I think not, doesn't know what to do with it.So he would often lavish, yeah, he would spend on lavish things for his friends.He was super generous, always very generous, generous to a fault.
And we went, he invited us to dinner, we went to this very nice steakhouse here where we live, very well-known steakhouse, and he's looking on the wine menu and he says, hey, will you guys drink some wine and celebrate?
And even though that's where I don't drink a whole bunch, we were like, of course, you know, it's our engagement, let's do it.And he said, okay, I'm gonna take the most expensive bottle of wine that you have, is what he told the waiter.
And the waiter said, well, that's a screaming eagle, it's like $12,000, something like that. And so he said, yeah, whatever, whatever it is.These people brought out that wine, and it was a parade through the restaurant.
I mean, the restaurant's not very big.It probably holds like 150 people.And everyone, they brought it out like with such gallantry.
And there's this special decanter that came on a plate that had all these like, you know, it looked like a science experiment, like tubes that swirled and all this stuff.
the poor kid opens up the wine and starts pouring it into the decanter, and he spills a good portion of that wine.He's just shaking, I think, is really what's going on.And then he was trying to pour a taste, and he spilled more of it.
The kid spilled a third of the wine on the tablecloth.That's like $4,000 worth of wine that just got spilled.And I was mortified for the guy.I thought to myself, he's certainly fired.You just splashed $4,000 worth of wine.You're fired.
Who's going to let you work here? But my friend was so gracious about it.And then he started giving tastes to other people in the restaurant that wanted some.It was a beautiful occasion.
But the decanter, like this whole decanter thing, it makes you so nervous when you're a waiter that you have to like, the bottle of wine is so expensive, you have to decant it.It reminded me of a time when I was working at a nice steakhouse here.
Who not?Apois, oh my God.And we had this private room.Someone rented out the private room for a wedding party, for like an engagement party, something very similar.
And the father of the bride came in hours before this whole thing happened, and he brought these three wooden crates of wine.And inside of those wooden crates were French wine from the early 1900s.It was 100 years old.The wine was like 100 years old.
And he said, listen, I have been saving this, it's been passed down through my family, this is it, I'm gonna open up some of this wine.Yeah, open it up.
Yeah, and he's like, so just be very careful with it, because it's very expensive, it's like a part of my prize collection, I want everyone to have a taste, I want to make sure everyone gets a piece of this, so just be careful.
when we started opening up that wine, Chrissy, the corks were dust.I mean, they were dust.As soon as we started putting our wine corks in there, the wine just disintegrated and fell into there.
And so we had to strain every bottle of this wine and decant it. And he kept telling us, you got to let it sit for like five to ten minutes.That's really how it airs out.It oxidizes.Whatever he was saying is going to be beautiful.
Pretend like he was a wine expert.And then he's like, you know, go ahead.Take a taste.Tell me what you think.It was literally like drinking liquid dirt.It was fucking disgusting.The wine was so bad.It was so disgusting.
And everybody at the party agreed.Like everybody like took a sip and then they all put it back down.Well, wine can be too old. It was too old.And if the cork is like, you know, it's dry and brittle. You know, what are you going to do?
First of all, second of all, don't save wine for a hundred years.
Do you guys drink nice wines?
Yes.You do?What's your favorite kind of wine?
Well, we like a good pinot, good cab.
I like a good penis, too.Pinot.Pinot.
A pinot and a cab.I mean, we don't go crazy unless it is a very special occasion.
What is the nicest bottle of wine you've ever had?
I can't remember the name of it. I was never going to buy it again.You know, I mean, it was probably a couple hundred dollars, you know, for maybe $400 bottle or something.
Yeah.You know, when we worked at the steakhouse, we had that Silver Oak, you know what Silver Oak is?Silver Oak, really nice bottle line.And we would sell those bottles.Some of those bottles were like $250.And I always thought that was a
Like if someone bought a $250 bottle of wine.Now I see some of these like really shitty wines are $250 and I'm like, that's insane to spend them.Just think about it.You're going to drink that wine.
It's literally going to go through your body and then you're going to piss it out.
Do you guys like white wine or red wine?
Yeah?Yeah.It just depends on what you're eating?
Yeah, like a Sauvignon Blanc for white, and then we go Pinot or Cab depending on the meal for reds.Mmm.
I can see Jeff at the house.How's Jeff?How's the house doing?
He's good.The house is doing good.I've got it all, you know, still decorated up with the Halloween stuff.
For Halloween?Did you give him a little Halloween surprise?
Yeah?What'd you dress as?
I'll tell you when we're off of the podcast.
All right, it's Friday.I'm still recovering from my parathyroid surgery.I'm now dealing with, what is it called?Hyperthyroiditis, which means that I've got a bunch of extra thyroid hormone running around.You're hyper.Oh man, I'm way hyper.
I had such a hard time sleeping last night.
Let me see your pimples.Oh, yeah.
Are they pinned?Yeah. It was so crazy because, well, here, I'll explain just a little bit, then I'm gonna get in the meat and potatoes of the episode.
But part of the reason why I may sound a little bit off this week is because I have something called hyperthyroiditis.I got my parathyroid taken out.
When they do that, they open up your neck, they pull out your thyroid, and then they look for the parathyroid, which is behind your thyroid.When they do that, they manipulate your thyroid.They touch it.
And when they touch it, sometimes that thyroid reacts by getting stimulated, just like a lot of other glands in my body that get stimulated.
And so, it is literally, Chrissy, to me, I think the only thing that I can tell you is it's like being high on cocaine.That's the only reference point that I have.Natural cocaine.Natural cocaine.
Now, it doesn't come with the comedown, like the need to do more cocaine.Yeah, that's good.Look at me.I am literally all over the place.Look at my hands right now. I am so high.So I was staring at the mirror yesterday.
I was looking into the mirror and I was telling Astrid, I'm like, hey, a couple days ago, and I'm like, hey, babe, look at my eyes.They are literally pinned.Are they pinned right now?Yeah, they are.
They are pinpoints because I am so fucking high right now.I have zero pupils. So, if anybody's wondering why Brian sounds a little bit off this last week, it's because I have too much thyroid.
I got rid of the parathyroid problem, I picked up a thyroid problem, and fuck you if you don't like these episodes.I've tried my best.Your body's readjusting.Yeah.I mean, someone made a comment on one of the text messages, but, you know, fuck them.
It said, Brian sounds extra unfunny this last couple of days.Well, fuck you.All right.Well, we're going to get funny.And here is what I want to present to you on Friday for a video breakdown.
I thought this was something easy to do that I could do while I'm still high. 21 Convention, one of our favorite places to find pick-up artists, because that is basically what the 21 Convention was originally geared toward.
And in 2014, one of our friends did a presentation called, How to Be Sexual Like a Man. Literally the name of the presentation.How to be sexual like a man.
And this presentation about halfway through goes off the rails when he invites a nice young lady to come up so that he can show the guys in the audience how to get sexual like a man.
So I want to take a break, Chrissy, and when we get back, I want to review this video with you.Let's do it.All right, we'll be back.
I know this sounds crazy because we are a podcast, but we have a phone number because we are also a Sendy and AI chatbot being designed to receive compliments and content ideas at 212-433-3TCB.So crazy how that works.
If you want to follow us on Instagram, our handle is at thecommercialbreak and our TikTok handle is at TCBpodcast.So go find our profile and watch the videos we painstakingly put together for you and our 20 other followers.
If you find yourself wanting more, check out our website at tcvpodcast.com because you can find all of our audio and full-length video episodes.And if you just do all of those things, we will love you forever.Bye!
This episode is sponsored by Squarespace.Okay, the year is early 2000 and something, and I got my first real office job at a company that was selling websites and search engine optimization.
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For the past three seasons of Gone South, we've covered one story per season.We tried to figure out who killed Margaret Coon.
She told me I'm gonna kill you.I said, well, do it, bitch.Go ahead and do it.
We delved into the violent world of the Dixie Mafia.
And we tracked a serial killer in Laredo, Texas.
Just turn around, please.Turn around.
Now, Gone South is back for a fourth season.But this time, we're doing things a little differently.So, in Gone South season four, we'll be bringing you new stories every week with no end in sight. I'm Jed Lipinski.
Welcome back to Gone South, an Odyssey original podcast.Listen and follow now on the free Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts for new episodes every week.
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Who's doing Trump's makeup these days?He's got like a frosted lip.I know.They forgot to do the lip around.We should look at a picture of Trump at one of his... At the garbage rally.At the garbage rally.
And someone forgot to put the tanner around his lips.So it literally looks like he's in blackface or something.It's kind of weird. I mean, I know the guy has tons of fucking money just being thrown at him.
He's got to have like a really good makeup artist.Isn't it a little disconcerting to see that?Yeah.Don't you think that you would look in the mirror and say, hey, can you do the lips?Can you do the three and a half inches around my lips?
Would that be okay?I don't know.Maybe he was having Burger King beforehand or something. All right, so we're at the 21 convention, the year is 2014.We've got a young man making a presentation about how to be sexual like a man.
We're gonna jump into the middle of this where he invites a young lady that he knows to come up so that he can give a demonstration on how to get sexual like a man.You ready, Chrissy?I'm ready.Oh, I think this is gonna be a good one.Here we go.
So when it comes to getting more physical, starting with the feeling in your body,
It shouldn't be starting with that tingling down and you're under and you're you're under agents be that difficult Once again all the times when when you've gotten closer to a woman when that physical thing just kind of happened And you look back on what wait, what did I do?
What I think back on it and I were just reminiscing about some of the mistakes we've made in our own love lives and And I think we agree that 90% of them could be chalked up to way too much alcohol.
When two people are attracted to each other, when two people are speaking and these feelings are coming up for them and they're looking in each other's eyes and communicating on that deeper level, I mean the only... I like how when he says communicating on the deeper level, he puts his hands down near his penis.
level of communication that really matters when it comes to human communication, then there's going to be a... It's all about the sex, Christy.
That's all that matters, just to let you know.
An almost magnetic pull.Actually, it could probably be exactly a magnetic pull towards each other.They're just drawn towards each other.
I'm picturing, like, him waddling with his dick first.Like, attract.I must attract.
Like two magnets be closer because there's nothing in the world that would be more appealing To those people at that point in time So underneath it all right
Getting closer to someone, getting more physical with someone is simply that natural expression of, I want to be close to you.I just want to touch you.
Has he blinked the whole time?No, he has not blinked the entire time.Speaking of eyes.I don't want to make fun of someone's appearance because he is who he is.He looks how he looks.But I do have to say there's something a little bit unnerving.
about the way that he's speaking and the hand gestures that he's using and the fact that he has not blinked in almost two hours of this presentation.
Chrissy and I reviewed some of the earlier parts of this and he really hasn't blinked the entire time.He's like me.You think he's got hyperthyroiditis?
You might.I want to feel your skin against mine because nothing would feel more amazing right now.Second you get in your head, oh wait, should I put my arm around her?Should I hold her hand?
Should I whip my dick out and tell her how much I love her?
Suddenly, it feels awkward.Suddenly, it feels anxious.Vibe goes away.She no longer wants you near her.
No.Almost holding hands to get away from me.
Get away from me?Yeah.I don't know what happened.I don't know.Did he say anything in between that that I missed?No.Okay.That's a little weird.
Maybe he just looked at her.
Right, right.Look at those eyes, geez.So I'm going to be walking you through some ways to kind of slowly build up that expression of I want to be closer to you with respect to the other person's boundaries.
But keep in mind that this isn't something- This already sounds like it's going off the track.
Keep in mind there's really no boundaries.Keep in mind, boundaries are flexible.
Sort of, we'll step by step do one A, then one B. This is simply the ways that I've found that when I'm attracted to someone, that when I have that feeling of, oh man, I just want to be near you, that I've expressed myself physically.
It's my desire combined with my personality, with what feels best for me.If you're not doing what feels best for you, it's not going to feel good for her.
I think they're here because what feels best for them has not worked in the past.I'm just taking a guess here.
Exactly.If you're doing what feels best for you in that moment, it's probably going to feel good for her as well, as long as you're reading her the entire time.So to help me demonstrate
the ways that I get closer to someone when I feel that attraction.I'd like to welcome my friend up to the stage.
Do you notice that they bleeped out her name?Oh, very interesting.
She was like, do not mention my name.
I bet she definitely said, take my name out of this.Let's do this.Let's go through this again, just to make sure it wasn't a glitch in the video.
I'd like to welcome my friend up to the stage.
Yeah, that was silenced out.
Well, you know what?He did the hard work for us because this poor girl doesn't need any more attention that she's already gotten for this video. A smattering of applause, Chrissy.
The introduction is incredible.She's the founder and CEO.
Wow!They have cut out any identifying information for this young lady.I know that she must have requested that.
It's a company that pairs American investors with African startups.She's brilliant.
Gorgeous young lady.I'm fortunate to have her up here assisting me today. So, once again, it starts.
She gives him a look like, don't touch me.
This girl's already creeped out.
With that feeling in your body.It starts with that natural desire.It starts with, with feeling that.
It starts with a little saliva coming out of your mouth and rolling down your chin.
Back from her and feeling that kind of magnetic attraction. that you might have for the other person.
She immediately is thinking, why did I agree to do this?
She's immediately wondering where her cell phone is to press the emergency button.Chrissy, could you imagine being at this guy's apartment?And he's like, I'm feeling this attraction.And he starts shaking his body left and right.
I'm feeling this attraction.Can you feel the magnet pulling from the downside of my pants?This is just the way I express myself with respect to your boundaries.Can you feel the roof and all taking effect?
There's no secret.There's no magic to it.The first thing you want to do, you just want to get closer.The more exciting it feels, the better.
And the closer you get, the more she will recognize your breath as one that has not been brushed.Those teeth.Cavity breath is what I call it.Infection breath.
Things start to spike.It's a natural human condition.
This does not look natural at all.
This guy looks completely uncomfortable.And this girl is standing her ground.She looks like she's about to smack him.Yeah.
She's so uncomfortable.Oh my god.
You're in a loud environment, such as a bar or a club, you've got an added bonus.You've got an added benefit.
Why is he staring right at her and like not talking to the audience?This is just... Do you think that these two have any kind of romantic connection beforehand?No.I'm assuming not. I'm assuming she was at the conference.He met her.
He needed someone to help him out with this and no practice whatsoever.She just called it.He called her up on stage and now she is terribly uncomfortable and she doesn't know what to do.
Loud music.Anyone who says, oh, it's too loud in those places.They don't understand how attraction works.
This is so weird.This is the cringiest thing I've ever seen.
Because it gives you an easy excuse. to get closer to someone.
Oh, he just leaned over and talked in her ear.Oh, Chrissy, can you feel the hairs on his beard just scraping against the side of your face?Can you feel my scraggly beard?Cheeto dust and all.Did you know Cheeto dust makes you transparent?
Can you smell the Doritos on my breath?
If they can't hear you, that just means get closer.It doesn't mean yell.
If some guy did this to me, I would be like, and?What is happening?
I've been to lots of bars where you lean over to talk in someone's ear, but you do not do it.Standing one inch from their face and not moving.
And as you get closer to someone, those natural feelings come out more.
My boner gets a little bit higher.
And it should be Once again, you've got this magnetic pull towards each other.You just want to get closer and closer So that everything's backing away You might get a little bit closer On a date or anything.
the overall distance just kind of closes a little bit more and a little bit more and you don't have to do anything fancy like what a please what do you do the moonwalk i'm not sure what you're talking about anything fancy i want to describe this is i know most of you listen to the shelter whenever once the videos but i want to describe this to you this guy
less than a foot and a half away from this girl's face.His body is facing her, but she is turned sideways.The look on her face could not be, like she could not be more uncomfortable.
She's horrified that she's up there.
Yeah, she can't believe what she just agreed to.She has no idea what he's about to do.And it feels, she is so in it.
She's like, this guy better invest in my company.
I know.This guy better. This better be worth it.I have 10 African companies that need funding immediately.
I have to tell you that when he says, with respect to boundaries, being within a foot and a half of someone's space that you do not know.
And staring without blinking.
Yes, staring without blinking.By the way, he has not moved his eyeballs.He is staring directly at her forehead the entire time while he's talking.This is not the way to physically approach a woman in a bar.I can promise you that.
Because when you're feeling this, Every little touch carries that feeling much more strongly.So if I lean in and our arms graze against each other, that's just gonna... She has an instant orgasm.
Did you see that instant orgasm?Oh, Chrissy.Don't worry, Chrissy.Can you do an example with me?Stand up, Chrissy.
have more electricity to it.That's gonna feel as good as anything in the world could possibly feel.
No, I think that's wrong.I think there are other things in the world that could feel better than brushing against somebody's skin.
I mean, I would be laughing if I were her.Yeah, wouldn't you be heading for the exit?Yes.
She's got her arms down at her side.And I lean in and our hands touch.Oh my goodness.
Hands have a lot of nerve endings in them. And so if I lean in and our hands graze, not only will that send that electricity through our bodies, but I'm also going to get to gauge where she's at with this whole physical contact thing.
He has no idea what he's talking about.
This guy has no idea.Our hands have a lot of nerve endings.No shit. Really?It doesn't give you the right to touch somebody.
No.If I lean in and our hands graze and she gets a little bit uncomfortable, she gets a little bit closed up.
I can pile drive her into the ground and smother her.
I'm going to realize, hey, my nerve endings, they were electrified.Nothing feels better in the world. I have nerve endings in my beard!
Okay.Maybe she was being friendly.Maybe she's just kind of naturally flirtatious and sexual, but she doesn't want to get physical with me.Cool.How's that going?
Cool.How you doing?How's that going?How's that not being sexual with me going?
But if on the other hand, I get closer and our hands graze, And she's still there.She still seems to enjoy it.She's not moving her hand.Then I can assume she might enjoy a little bit more.
Is he pulling her hand toward his cock?Yes!Yes!What?!This is sexual assault happening live on TV.
My cock has a lot of nerve endings.
You know what else has a lot of nerve endings?My tasty testicles. Can you smell the Doritos all over me?
Holding hands is the best.Holding hands is great.All those nerve endings joining with that feeling.
I cannot imagine walking up to a girl and talking in her ear and grabbing her hand to hold hands.I can't imagine it.Maybe this is why I need alcohol to get laid.
It just kind of maximizes.It just kind of blows everything up to another level. And you never want to stay completely in so blah blah blah blah blah, because then it's just going to start to feel a little bit overwhelming.
Oh, like any of this wasn't overwhelming from the beginning.
And you never want to keep your distance, because then those feelings can never build.There has to be both poles present.There has to be an intensifying, and there has to be a little bit of a break in that.
So I'll be getting closer, I'll be able to read.My sexuality comes in waves.
At first I brush my beard against the side of your face while I whisper sweet nothings into your ear.Then I grab your hand and pull it toward my penis, but there's a break.I've got to break the tension.I got to build it up again.
Then I come back and I smother you.
She wants to get through the hands, through our shoulders. And everything else.
Especially the feeling.You gotta maintain the feeling.
He's waddling back and forth.I know.The weirdest.
Now if this is all going well, if we're with each other, she's clearly very comfortable with the situation.
Yeah, she looks clearly comfortable with the situation.
By the way, that's all flirting is if you've ever been confused.All flirting is is speaking to someone else.
Did he just say that?Flirting is speaking to someone else.That's all it is.Yeah.I flirt with the lady who answers at the bank all the time. I'm flirting with you right now on the other end of this microphone.
Did you notice that when he's holding her hand, she is not holding his hand back?He's actually holding her wrist, not her hand, because I think he knows that he can't go in for the kill here with her.She's basically standoffish, as I would be too.
She must be blindsided by this whole thing.
All flirting is is speaking to someone else with that feeling in your body, with that sexual tone.
Flirting is speaking with a boner.
He is so creepy.He is.It doesn't matter what you say.You can flirt with someone talking about breakfast.
No, you can't.What are you talking about?Hey, Chrissy, did you notice they have bagels?Bacon.You want to wrap that around my dick?What do you have for- You want a bacon wrapped ball, Chrissy?
snack, crackle, and pop on this guy.
Oh yeah?I love pancakes.They're my favorite.Words don't matter.They never did.Only thing that matters is the feeling.
Words don't matter.They never did.This guy.This is like a rom-com.
Words don't matter.They never did, Chrissy.
Oh my god, this is the funnest.
This is the funnest for everybody except for the poor girl.Yeah, she's mortified.That's right.All right, we'll take a break and we'll come back with more of this.
My darlings, my angels, my sweet little cherubs, it's that time again where I try to convince you to follow us on Instagram at thecommercialbreak and on TikTok at tcvpodcast.We really don't post that much, so it's no skin off your nose.
If you'd like to get in touch with us directly, you can text us or call us and leave us a voicemail at 212 433-3TCB.
You know we are just sitting by the phone waiting with bated breath for you to call, so please leave us an AskTCB and we'll give you some mildly concerning advice.Peace and blessings!
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All right, we're back trying to figure out how to get sexual like a man with our friend here at the 21 convention.
He's currently up on stage with a lovely young lady, and he's trying to give you an example of how to turn that conversation at the bar into something much more sexual.And he's failing at every level.
Been receptive so far, getting closer, pulling back.
Getting closer, pulling back, getting closer, pulling back, getting closer, pulling out.
Hands are all good.Another thing that I might move towards is my hand on her hip.Hips are a very sensitive area.
the jokes make themselves i don't even have to say anything honestly the jokes make themselves she just looked with disgust at his hand she looked right down at his hand like i don't understand i gave you no permission to touch my hip if a woman feels comfortable with your hand on her hip you are golden you're in you're gonna pre-ejaculate no doubt it's
very much just going to raise the tension raise the energy even more come here to me come here let me grab you by the hips and pull you closer to my magnetic balls once again how do i do it how do i touch if you're thinking that you're doing it wrong the only thing that matters is what feels best for you can you smell call of duty on my breath
What is gonna feel the most amazing for you in that moment?
Yeah, that's all you gotta worry about when you're talking to another human being.It's what's gonna make you feel most amazing in the moment.
Well, paying close attention to how she feels as well.
So I'm getting closer, talking, it's funny.
Christina, can you put a link to this video inside?Because I think the jokes here make themselves quite frankly.You have to start this video.Put a link in the video, Christina, if you could.
And to the audience, start around minute number 21 or 22 on this video.And look at the craziness that is going on on stage.This poor girl is basically, I mean, if she's not getting assaulted, she's certainly, in a uncomfort zone of epic proportions.
Also, I'm going to point out that they started on the stage much further to the right.She has backed away slightly.
That's right.You're right about that.Yes.
To the left of the stage.
They are 15 feet from where they started.And it's her moving backwards every time he touches her.
Hands on the hips.Bodies getting closer to one another.
Old spice spewing out of my pores.J'kran, a war on my dick, ready to be had.I'm open, I'm yours, ready to be had.I'm like a flower, ready to bloom.
When you're at that point, you're looking at each other's eyes.She's not looking at you in the eyes.
She's looking down.She's looking down at the floor.
It's almost impossible for a kiss not to happen right here.
Oh my god.We're friends.Oh no, don't do it.
She's like, please don't go in for the kiss.
Please don't go in for the kiss.
Please don't go in for the kiss.We're not friends.We're not really friends.We just met.I've never been friends with anyone ever.
Oh no.Another big round of applause for Natalie.
Oh my god, Chrissy that was like, oh honestly, I've never wanted something not to happen so bad in my life That's getting sexual There's no secret there's no
Long, technical thing to remember.It's about practicing.
Who do you practice that with?
It's so fast.I know, it's terrible.It's about training yourself to not get in your head, to not start thinking, what do I do, what do I say?To get in touch with those feelings in your body.
And to allow them to come forward.
as they would naturally as they have before when you weren't thinking about what to do when it just kinda happened and this is something you can train yourself in I always say you want to get good at this flirt with everyone if you just want to get arrested do what I just did with everyone I always say if you want to be on a sex offender registry list try to do something with the small percentage
of women who you're attracted to but then you do the opposite the rest of the time you're always gonna sock
It's impossible to get good if you're doing one thing 99% of the time and then only doing that thing you want to improve on the other 1% of the time.It'll never happen for you.
So you're saying practice getting uncomfortable, practice getting in people's personal space every single time that you meet a girl, even if you're not attracted to her, try and hold her hand, grab her hips, give her a kiss.Yeah.Yeah, sure.
So I always say flirt with everyone.
By the way, what happened on stage is exactly how I got asked to marry me.
And not even in a way that, oh, I'm trying to get in bed with you. But just in a way that acknowledges, hey, when we're around... Hey, I'm practicing for someone I really find attractive.
I'm leading you on so I can get with someone more attractive later on in the evening.
This funny, natural, God-given thing happens in our bodies.We can't control it.It's kind of silly.It's kind of funny.Might be a little weird.
It might be a little weird.You put a punctuation mark on that, brother.
But it's enjoyable. Right?Waitresses.I've gotten so many freebies just from flirting with the waitress.How's your day going?Yeah?What do you recommend on this menu?
Waitresses are giving you free items because you ask what they recommend on the menu?
I've been doing it wrong the entire time, Chrissy.When Astrid says give them the Brian look, I should really go grab their hips and rub my beard all over them.
Older women.Flirt with older women, man.Older women.
Man, they love it.Tabby cats.Post office workers.
They're the best practice in the world.Enjoy their company.Make them feel beautiful. Make them feel sexy.You're so sweet.I'm going to introduce you to my daughter, my granddaughter.Right?Look at the most charming, charismatic, sexy men.
They flirt with every single woman.Not just trying to do something differently when they're around someone they like.You have to practice this all the time.
If you want to get good, if you want to be considered a sexual human being, it has to be part of who you are, part of your natural communication.
Well, Chrissy, I think I've been doing this wrong the entire time.I wish I had taken this advice long before because I would be a stud of epic proportions.
You should have been going to the 21 convention.
If I had just learned how to assault someone's personal space much sooner, things would have turned out differently for me.
Again, if someone, if the waitress is like, I'm okay, sir, I'm gonna go back, great, I'll have the pancakes, thank you.But if she's like, oh, you're so sweet, better be like, you're so sweet.
And then she's like, no, you're so sweet.And then you're like, no, it's you, sweetie, that's so sweet.And then she says, no, you're so sweet, sweet.And then you say, I'll take extra syrup with my pancakes.
You know how many freebies I've gotten that way?Just blowjobs right under the table.Works every time. You know how many old ladies are giving me head, taking out their dentures and knocking one off in the bathroom?
It's because I flirt with everybody.
How long have you been working here for?Doesn't matter what you say.
I feel really bad for anyone that works at a restaurant close to the 21 convention.Any woman that works at a bar inside of the hotel.
that feeling that's being exchanged between the two.
Well, we were saying, I wish it was still going on, that we could do a little reconnaissance mission down there.
I know.Yeah, that would be, like, the best would be if we could go down there ourselves, or somebody that we knew could go down there and really get an eye on what's going on in there.
You know, I've looked at so many 21 Convention videos, and I will say this.While 99% of what's being said at the 21 Convention is not my type of content.
There are a few speakers, a few speakers, especially toward the end of their run, who were saying things that I could agree with, like just about how to be a better human being and how to be a better man, a more... Yeah, but not a specific trick.
Yeah, like instead of like that kind of, you know, hyper masculine message more of like a softer approach to it and I can I can agree with some of what's being said but this pickup artist bullshit that they have got almost every one of those videos that I have watched is just terrible advice for people who really need some good advice.
I mean, yeah, if you're paying $5,000 to go down there and learn how to speak with the opposite sex or the same sex or whatever.I think you really need someone who's going to give you like some personalized, hey dude, just be yourself.
Like, you know, it doesn't happen every time.You just gotta, you know, be comfortable inside of your own skin and make somebody else feel comfortable inside of their own skin.Not grab them by the hips and rub your beard all over them.
That's a terrible piece of advice.Terrible.And I can promise you, I can promise you, this guy has never, ever used that trick at a bar and it worked.Never, ever.He's not sexual like a man.
And he speaks a little weird too, if I'm being honest with you.
Oh, the 21 convention.So much fun, Chrissy.
There's got to be another one that's popped up somewhere.Or I guess it's just now all YouTube stuff.
Yeah, it's all YouTube stuff now.
Or people becoming Trump's advisors to Bitcoin.Bitcoin!
A lot of these people have ended up in Trump's orbit.That's right.But that's because he's leaning into that kind of like, you know, I don't want to be generic when I say this, but kind of that like bro-tastic world.
And so a lot of these speakers and a lot of the people from the 21 convention have ended up in Trump's orbit.And it's kind of interesting to watch it all happen as these guys kind of gravitate toward that messaging.
What's his name again?I need to look him up.Who, this guy?
This guy?Yeah.Nick Austin or something like that?
Yeah, something like that.
Nick... I just saw it.I'll get it for you.
uh... mcsmartt mcsparks that's right and now a lot of these p u a s are fighting online they're all fighting online about who's got the best and who does it the best and who's scamming you it's really interesting we'll review some more that content coming up all right i want to thank everybody for dealing with me this week as i really and is going to be a taken for a ride by my hormones that i'm going to be honest uh... so that this hasn't been the best week of the commercial break well i'm sorry that's just the way that it is
But at least it's a fresh episode, right?It's not a best of.It is.Yeah, and I want to thank Christina for doing such a great job while we've been gone.I think she did a great job holding down the fort.
Yes, I know best ofs are not your favorite.I think she did a great job putting them together and making them interesting.So thank you to Christina, our wonderful executive producer. Okay, 212-433-3TCB, 212-433-3822.
Questions, comments, concerns, content ideas?Also, ask TCB, and if you have a charity you would like us to focus on during the 12 days of TCB, please let us know so we can vet it out a little bit more, and you'll figure out how that goes down.
On the 12 days of TCB, December 13th through the 25th, tcbpodcast.com.All the information, all the audio and video, and get your free sticker.Hit the Contact Us button and request one.
At the Commercial Break on Instagram, TCB Podcast on TikTok, and YouTube.com slash The Commercial Break.Okay, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for today.
But I will tell you that I love you.And I love you.I'll say best to you.Best to you.Best to you out there in the podcast universe.Until next time, Chrissy and I always say, we do say, and we must say. Goodbye!
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