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Been on this space station long enough, I sabotage everything for these stupid Americans, yes.Yeah.Stupid.
Oh man, a Russian astronaut.Cosmonaut, I think.
Oh yeah, the cosmonauts.Program is still going.Program is still going for them.I can't think of anything they've done recently, but it's still going.
Shooting bottle rockets that they're just yeah, exactly at this point.
It's just kind of like we'll put anything into space We're putting the cyber truck into space.We got a deal with Elon.So we're gonna try that.
Yeah Isn't there already a model 3 in space there is yeah, there is something floating towards it's floating towards the Sun.Yeah, I think
She's gonna burn up.That's a lot of money.A lot of taxpayer dollars ready to burn, baby.
I mean, he gets a lot of grants.Like, how do we know that, like, government grant money didn't launch that bitch in the space?
Do you want to know the biggest scam of all time is government grant money?Because anyone can savvy enough to write grants and get money from the fucking government.
Goodness, I gotta tell ya. The government's a great place to get money if you're looking for it.They just got it laying around.
They do got it laying around.
That's our money.That's our taxpayer dollars.
That's our taxpayer dollars.You need to get you some of that shit, dude.And then pay taxes on that once you get it.
If you're a young person listening, please, if you want to do anything for your career, learn how to write fucking grants.Any person is going to hire you.
from any non-profit, any political organization to learn how to write fucking grants to get that government money, baby.Get that government money.
That kashish, that government money.Kashish.That kashish.
Man.I gotta tell you, Halloween has gotten closer and closer to us.Yeah.
The orbit shortens with Halloween, doesn't it?Yeah.
Well, and Halloween is the only thing keeping Christmas at bay at this point.
And the war on Halloween and Christmas, which one are you guys?Where are you at?
Mmm.Oh, I think I'm more Christmas now I because how Halloween so like just fucking me in the yes all the time I think well after July 4th you're getting Halloween stuff, and you're like fuck off.
It's summer still Jesus You're more Halloween when you're in your 20s, and then and then maybe as a little kid you're definitely Halloween, but you also love Christmas because you get gifts, but like I Later on in life, Halloween does not matter.
It means I have to purchase candy for children, and this is me on a socialist system here.I'm giving food to just everyone at this point.
To the needy. Am I doing that?That's fucking, that's welfare.I don't live in a fucking welfare state, man.No, thank you.No, thank you.You can have some candy for some fucking work, little man.You can have some candy for some work.
Trick or treat?How about trick or fucking work, little bro?Come on, dude.
Trick or paint my porch.There you go.
You owe the government 15% of that candy bar, you little bitch.You better get that.Get paying the fence, Tom Sawyer.
Come on, you motherfucker. See, I don't mind Halloween.I don't mind the encroachment of Halloween as much as the encroachment of Christmas because Christmas is your it's like jammed.
Christmas is one of the most commercialized items because there is there is so much money to be made.It is rammed down your fucking throat at the earliest possible convenience.
And now they start, they are doing Halloween a little bit sooner.However, Halloween to me is much more tolerable because I'm not getting a present for anybody.There's no pressure there.There's no social pressure.
And technically, there's a lot of free candy.There is free candy.And as someone who constantly needs sweet treats, I'm down.You definitely have a fucking problem, bro.
But it's, that's very true.There is a surplus of candy that then is in extensive networks of my aunt, my mom, my whoever, Just gave me this candy, I'm taking it to the Lord.
I would like to raise an argument.If we're pitting Christmas against Halloween in this particular instance, KY, you're the cookie monster, my dude.There are far more cookies laying around in Christmas time.
Baked goods, there's more baked goods.And to way more diversity.There's definitely more baked goods, kind of made home goods.
Yeah, I'd say on the whole, you're getting a lot more baked goods during the holidays. But that's, it's a shorter window.You know, I'm not getting home-baked cookies December 1st, right?I got to wait till at least halfway through the month.
Then we start getting some treats.But Halloween is like, the moment they put that fucking candy out, your dentist's office is going to have some fucking candy.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.They're kicking out.It's going to be everywhere.Take the Colgate Tootsie Roll we got.
You can buy that candy all year round.You can buy bite-sized whatever.I like the packaging though.
It tastes better when it's orange, huh?
I like it better when it has a bat on it.
Is there any truth do you think that some of that candy gets recycled for years?
Some bites I've taken, I've been very fucking suspicious.Okay, okay.
So like when you see the full package and you go to a large store, let's say, happen, you may be in the Midwest, a Meijer's.Meijer's.Meijer's, Meijer's store with the S at the end, absolutely, as well.That's Midwest.
The signs don't contain the S. You'll never see the S. You'll never see the S, S will never show up, but it's definitely Meijer's.
Yeah, it's with an S. If you see the packages, the large packages of the mini candies, help me out gentlemen, do you think some of those are taken out and then recycled and we see them the next year?
So KY has alluded to there's a, there could be a yes there.
I think there's a black pit behind every Myers, every Kroger, every Harris Teeter, every whatever food store, Albertsons, whatever you use, there's a black pit back there.Halloween candy just exists all of the time, always.
So it always exists and it can always be pulled out of existence at some point.
It's the ether, it could be ancient, it could be thousands, millions of years old.
The joke is always, Candy corn is thousands of years old.
Yeah, it was made once in a big batch and that's it.They never made more.They never made more.
It's one, it's actually one batch.
Yeah, they had, they had a one great batch.
And that's, yeah, we've been eating the Mayflower fucking candy corn for years at this point.Yeah.
But we're only on a Halloween kick.What's your guys' fucking most hated Halloween candy? Mmm.Mmm.
I do usually say candy corn.We've already touched on it.Full agreement, it's awful.I actually don't like much things that are marshmallow, so I do not like the peanuts.
Oh, that's fair.That's very fair.
Those are fucking gross.And if it gets hot, they get melty.
Yeah, the texture to me is weird on that one, because they're not like a usual marshmallow.And the taste.Taste, definitely too.
Yeah. Taste is, like, both is weird.It's like, it's like a harder, firmer marshmallow, but it also tastes, it doesn't match the taste.It's so fucking weird.Also, why would I want a peanut-flavored marshmallow?
Yeah.Yeah.No, thanks.That's a hard pass.They don't even look appetizing.
They don't.They don't.They don't.They're gross.Disgusting.It's like, why do you, yeah, why do you put this thing into existence?
For some reason, I like, I like Reese's.Reese's, however you want to pronounce it.Yeah.Up in the air.Like Meijer, Meijer's situation.But, uh,
For some reason, whenever you take it outside of cup and you make it bat or you make it pumpkin or you make it something it ought not to be, it tastes like dog shit and I fucking hate it.
Why?Texterity is off.Oh my God.Yes.I was just going to say, I was going to tell you, I almost never ever buy Reese's cups.Like, at all.But when Halloween time comes around, I love them when the bats are broken.I do.
Somehow they become more appetizing.See, I think if it's a jack-o'-lantern or if it's a bat or if it's a witch, it tastes better.The same thing.When the Easter one comes out, I like those.
But I never buy, I never bought, I think, a Reese's cup like from a gas station.Yeah.
I'm a Reese's guy though.I will get down on either of those. For me, the no-go is always going to be anything that's chocolate mint.That's a no-go.Get it out of here.That's disgusting.Why would you do that to me?If you put chocolate mint into
My kid's fucking Halloween bag.I'm going to come back to you and we're going to talk the next day about what's appropriate.
I'm going to put a gun in your fucking head.
Exactly.What's appropriate here in America.What's appropriate here in America, you motherfucker.Trying to force that on my kid.
I don't know why he brandishes his weapon, officer.I just gave him some mint candy.
Your fucking mint agenda out here.Putting that on my fucking kid, you idiot.That's not a fucking candy.Mints are not candy, you idiot.Clown.Loser.Bitch.
God, I agree.I agree with Big Cat.Ninety nine percent.First, there's some reason I am very partial to like.
Before you say anything, I have a one exception for chocolate and mint as well.OK.
Oh, so there's two exceptions.
There's two exceptions now.Potentially.If I just want to stop before.If you may, you may say the same one, but we'll see.
My exception for mint chocolate is the little Andy's chocolates.
Those little motherfuckers are so good.They're so good.What a treat.I was like, he's going to say fucking Andy's Mints and I'm going to be like, yes, dude.Yes.Exactly right.So they get a pass.I don't know why.It's different.
It does hit different.They shouldn't be so good, but they are.That's the nature of candies.Some might be consistently the same genre, but they just hit differently.It's a different item.
Yeah.They do it right.I don't know.I've had like mint chocolate chip ice cream and things like that and I'm like, what the fuck am I doing here?
Yeah.Mint chocolate chip ice cream is like, you hate ice cream and you hate yourself.Yeah.
Who put toothpaste in my fucking ice cream?
Who the fuck put toothpaste in my ice cream?Exactly.You're trying to fucking brush my teeth right now?You fucking monster.
I'm like, this is a nightmare.No, I want to feel my arteries hardening.Oh, come on.Yeah.Yeah.
I need to know my teeth are decaying and I'm dying because of what I'm eating.Yeah.
Just so everyone knows, Timothy McVeigh's last meal was two quarts of mint chocolate ice cream.So, like, fuck you if you like that.
Yeah, exactly.So, if you're into that, that guy, and that guy fucking bombed a Fed building with a bunch of people.So, you're a fucking organic terrorist, bro.You're here.Homegrown terrorist.
If you like mint ice cream, you are a terrorist.You're a terrorist, bro.
You're a fucking terrorist.
American terrorist Oh So, you know what candy on paper I really really should like and I gotta be honest It's for a perverted reason that I don't like it But I don't like Gushers because I feel like somebody's either spitting or coming.
Oh, yeah Well, that's that's that to me.That's more I put that as more fruit snack than candy.
I love Fruit Snacks.Fruit Snacks is a different title for me, definitely.
It's a different, but I will say this, 2 KY's point.A Fruit Snack rapper.2 KY's point, 2 KY's point.Fruit Snacks are given out on Halloween.
But the laws of Halloween I feel like are broken because there's always that house that hands you a fucking apple because they're fucking communists.There's always that house that hands you toothpaste because, again, they're fucking communists.
So, it's like... Dude, when I was a kid, there was some fucking asshole who would hand out pennies at the fucking bar.What a bitch.Fuck you for the penny.
I don't want your unwanted coinage.Like, fuck off, dude.
Yeah. That guy's hiding a boner as he hands a penny to a child, he watches his face die.He's hiding a weird boner back there, I promise.
That was McScrooge during the fucking Halloween episode, not the fucking Christmas episode.Just waiting for Tiny Tim over here.Good God.
No one talks about how he shoots his load behind every penny.
He's a dehydrated billionaire.
So, well, I guess maybe we'll intro ourselves.
It's fine.It's fine.We got what we wanted.We want to talk about candy, Halloween candy.Candy.Welcome to the Lesser Known People podcast. We're a little bit of a tripod tonight, but we function very well.
Very streamlined to slip right deep into the holes of your ears.These are deep tripods for sure.Penetrating tripods.Slip right into them. I'm, we're down two brothers.Con man, he is out running the streets, slanging that dick.
Or just could be running.Or just could be running, all things considered.He's in a marathon.He's in a nighttime marathon at this point.Yeah.
That's true. And then Sean Boyd, The Magic Carpet Ride, he is out.I think he's liberating probably some country.We have to make it two bigger backstories.
They'll be back next week.I am joined with my two other brothers.I am Jay Money.I'll be just be guiding the show a little bit.I'm joined with my two other brothers here.I have Big Cat, Ryan the Lion.
How are you, baby?We're doing good.We're doing good.We just started with Candy.I can't wait to hear the rest of this one.I think we got a pretty good topic tonight, all things considered, so I'm excited.
Glad to have you here, man.Big Cat always brings curveballs, so I'm excited to see what you're gonna bring up.Oh, yeah.
He has very curvy balls.Very curvy balls.And doctors tell me that's not a good thing.He has the curviest of balls.
That's not a good thing, so gotta get that figured out.Old ripple balls.Old ripple balls, they call them.
You're dramatically unhealthy, yeah.
We have our tall brother here, KY Jelly.How are ya?
I'm good.I'm good.I'm good.I'm excited about I am.I'm always excited about Halloween.I think it's a good time.But.I have a lot more to say about candy, so I hope we do a part two.
Oh, so yeah, there should be then a part two on on candy.Yeah, OK, we can.
We can.We can chase down the regular content of this episode if you want.Before we end, we talk about candy again.But we wanted to talk tonight about We wanna talk tonight about our Halloween costumes.
Some of the Halloween costumes we've had in the past and maybe what we'll wear in the future.Because I've, as mentioned earlier, spirit of Halloween keeps showing up in my fucking backyard earlier and earlier every fucking year.Yeah.
And I've gotten a few Halloween costumes from them and elsewhere.And I know personally, I've had some very awkward and strange Halloween costumes, and I thought that'd be kind of a cool topic to talk about tonight.
I don't know if there's any volunteers to go first, but I have some of my own Halloween costumes that I like to offer up if you want to start.I'll throw my hat in the ring.
Absolutely.Do we want to do like a, is it like, are we thinking of like a top three?What are we feeling, guys?
Yeah, we can do a top three.We can round robin it.I know, I mean, When I was a kid, I was a little bit on the poor end of the spectrum.My mom would make my costumes.I'm with you.
My mom was very into if I can sew it, that's what you're doing this year.
Obnoxious.So I was to be a knight one year, a shining knight.Yes.And I remember I thought back to this costume that my mother had made me and I was like, fuck yeah, that's like,
She put a lot of like elbow grease in this and this costume came out rocking.I look just like a knight and no one can tell me otherwise.That's for fucking sure.
And I think like kind of recently I'd like look back and see a picture of this fucking knight costume that I thought was fucking dope as fuck.Like couldn't be fucked with ever.
Nah dog, it was just fucking, it was just, it was just cardboard and aluminum foil.And like an awkward painting of like a, like a French cross right in the front of it.
Yep, I remember this costume. in the the shield is just scrubbed it the aluminum foil I remember it made noise like oh this is a very the very noisy and also like not a very durable costume oh my god that's a good one though that's a really good hand
And he handed an eight-year-old a fucking cardboard and aluminum sword and shield.
You know, you're bound to lose a few fucking... What's the... Do you know what the count was of aluminum foil rolls she went through to get that?
I mean, you know, probably not enough.
Looking back at that photo, you know?It's actually surprisingly sparse.
Yeah, whatever the fuck she had in the drawer at the time, probably.
Yeah, probably.She wasn't going to make a special trip.
Dude, one year I was a bat and it was just, I was, it was just fucking, it was a black sheet and black paint and like a little bit of red in my lips for the blood and I was a bat.
Bat, full bat, you were a full bat at that point, yeah.
Oh, that's amazing.Oh my god.Nah, it was black faced, yeah, I had a weird fucking thing in the ear.
Yeah, that's weird, when I was a kid my mom kept putting me in black face for like the first like 10 years, it was so strange.
She'd scream at me a lot and hit me with things, you know, I'd try to run away and she'd
So I do I do have some homemade costumes, I'm sure Justin is aware.Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, baby.I remember.Tell me I hope it's the one I'm thinking of in my head.
So there's the couple that I always kind of think about are when My older brother older sister and I were all crayons.
Oh, yeah.Okay.Oh my gosh Now were you guys in like crayon costumes?
So your, your mom would knit very well or like, so quite a bit.
Yeah.She, she was sewing stuff again, uh, out of necessity for budgets, you know, she technically don't buy a costume.Yeah.I also, I also remember like not choosing, she was just like, Oh, I, I already have your Halloween costume.
Like for years I'd like never chose.It was just told to me what it was.I know what you're going to, I already got you.Yeah.Gosh, I know what you're going to be.
What an extreme difference between your mom and I. I could be whatever I wanted, but it looked like shit.You had to be whatever the fuck she was.
You have to be a crayon.I don't want to be a crayon.I want to be something else.I want to be a cowboy.The crayon looked pretty good.Those lasted a while.
And then I'm pretty sure we would wear them like not during Halloween and just beat the shit out of each other.It's amazing.
We got to get rid of these costumes, y'all.Let's fucking, let's rough these things up.
I distinctly remember for my birthday, which is in the summer, my brother wearing his green crayon costume and beating the shit out of me.I'm pretty sure that happened.So I think they just, anyway, they didn't last.
And then, um, there was one year, there was one year where we were all Native American kids. Whoa!Yikes!You can't do that!I know.It was the 90s, man.
Oh boy, you had to get away with a murder in the 90s, man.Johnny Depp was a Native American in the 90s, let's be fair.
Good God.Yeah, man.I was Frederick Douglass back in 92.Everyone loved it.
Dude, they ate that shit up.That's all that was good.
Yep.I had, I had moccasins and like a vest.
Oh, so what'd you tell me?So 90s Native American was a fucking 2000s Ryan Cabrera is what you turned into.It sounds like.Exactly.
Yeah, while I was wearing ash and washed jeans and flip flops, singing about California.Yeah, singing about California.Getting that girl.
Getting that girl.Whipping my bangs out of my face.
Just acoustic guitars need apply.Yeah.
Yeah.Oh man.It was horribly racist.Yeah.
I can just imagine your pasty little bodies with all them feathers about.Oh yeah.And you just.
It was very Hollywood Native American meaning white.White.Yeah.
White.Like sexy white Hollywood.Yeah.Yeah.White.
Charlize Theron Native American here.Yeah.
Were you guys doing the the thing where you put your hand?
Yeah, there was the noises We built like a fake fire and then but also like we grew up in let's just say a northern state So Halloween is not always super warm And I'm pretty sure that no matter what I would not put a shirt on underneath my underneath my my power vest
Your little beef vest that you had on?
Yeah.You ruin the costume, the attire, the ambiance, the whole deal when you have a cold Halloween and you have to put a sweater on.Moms don't get that shit, dude.They don't get that shit.
And I'm pretty sure she didn't sew a button, so it was just like, it was loose.
It was just you with this fucking, probably macaroni vest, all things considered, let's be fair here.Just fucking tits out.Trying to fucking rock and roll.Dead fucking winner.
Tits out, it's fucking freezing ass, cold, snowing, and I'm getting pissed off, forgetting candies from the day.What's up?Yeah, exactly.
And that's why your face looks a little bit dead when you get a fucking penny in your fucking bag.Fuck you, Mabel.Fuck you.
I'm never you, Mabel.I froze my fucking nips off.My tiny, beautiful boy nipples.
Out here walking in this snow on Halloween and you give me fucking pennies.
I bared these child's nipples to come get your candy and you presented me with a penny?How dare you?
Yeah, bitch.All for fucking pennies.You did that work for pennies. Quite literally.You did that work for Pennyworth?
Yeah.That was Pennyworth.It's hard being like a real sexy kid.Yeah, also.It doesn't pay.
Definitely, oh definitely, definitely would have been casting somebody.
You know, I bet the kid's getting nothing in that industry.Oh man.
Just some bad memories.KY was the original Indian in the cabinet.What can you say?Just... I like Indian in the closet.You know what I mean?Just come out of there, KY. Uh, let's see if we're going if we're going homemade.
It sounds like that's the first thing we're doing here this evening I uh, there were a couple like just real standouts for me
Um, one was absolutely a pirate costume that my mom made that, if I'm not mistaken, was actually too small at one time and on the fucking, as we're walking, just fucking split the seam of the pants.
The fucking striped red and white pants just split the fucking seam.And I was not, I was not a big kid.So it was like they were made smaller than the small kid.And that's a, that's a problem.
Just paint it on you.Just paint it on that boy.
I'll just do some greatest hits here.We did one year, the year Men in Black came out.My mom thought it would be funny on a fucking, basically on a
It was like, you would have thought this little black coat, despite being black, was purchased in the catechism section for fucking children.But she sewed on an alien on the shoulder and was like, you're gonna do men in black this year.
And I was like, oh, that's fucking sick.Of course I'll do that.Of course I'll do that.That's fucking awesome, yeah.I had no idea.
So she just sewed on an alien to a black jacket.
And was like, you're men in black now. Enjoy it.This is what I know about this film.Little fucking clip on tie, your little fucking catechism clip on tie, some black slacks, just a fucking third grader rocking his fucking world out here.
Did you guys see this guy you little bitches, what did your mom do nothing?
Idiot in the black you see it.
Oh you see it jealous.Just fucking jealous.
It's all you um Yeah, just just and I think that was the peak of the the homemade stuff.We did an astronaut one one year and
because my again my mom saw something out of a magazine shoot where she was like well we can just use a bunch of homemade appliances and you'll be an astronaut I was like well that sounds cool and it literally looked like a fucking Tupperware monster with this thing that is a good idea I was like all right well careful careful it's
I do remember after that year, I was like, maybe I have some say in what's going on here.What do you think?
I got to take the wheel.I got it.
What do you think?Just give me something over here.What are we feeling?How are we feeling?What do you think?So those are, those are the highlights of the homemade years, which were, and those were honestly very good.All those were extremely good.
Yeah, that's great.Honestly, my Native American costume looked pretty fucking good.I'm sure it did.
Dude, you were definitely... Well, I mean, as a white person, you are some percent Native American.
Dude, and I'm gonna say this right now.If you were Daniel Day-Lewis, you would have been cast in the fucking Last of Mohegans, bro.Do you know what I mean?
Like, that's how he got cast.
That's how dark you are.That's how he got fucking cast, bro.White guy in Indian attire with a tan.Here we go.
There we go.So I'm thinking top adult costume.
Okay, yeah, I think that's the next category.We probably got to go into that.
Yeah.It's so hard for me.I'll start this round.It's so hard for me because I wore the same costume for like a decade as an adult. I mentioned this in a previous episode.If you're a fucking real fan, you'll find it.
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Send you gummies.And, you know, we can talk about weed stuff and whatnot. As an adult, when I was living, when I was stationed in Japan, I had received this gift at a White Elephant, which was a full-size bunny suit.
And the bunny suit was purchased in Japan and it was purchased in the wrong gender.It was purchased clearly for a woman.And I won this thing in the White Elephant.I specifically positioned for this thing.I needed it.I needed it.
I got it and then when I realized it was too small, I still shoved myself into it.So it ended up forming a large hole in the crotch. And then it was like very, very tight on my frame up above.
So you could see nipples and everything.Just for our listeners, that's the pressure of fucking gender norms in this world.You know what I mean?Exactly.
Yeah.You can't be a full figured man in this world anymore and get anywhere.
You gotta be a tiny little Asiatic woman.Yeah.
At the moment I was identifying as a full-figured pink bunny rabbit with a full-ass dick and very present muscles.
There's nothing more bunny than having a full-ass dick because of all those fucking little bunnies running around.
It's full of dick-ass meat.That's the dark meat on a bunny, yeah, for sure.
When you eat a Haast & Pfeffer, it's dick first, man.
Yeah, so I wore this bunny suit, which was really tight on me.Had a hole in the crotch, the whole nine yards.And for years and years, every Halloween, just noncommittal, the same guy to show up with it.
And over time, it had just degraded into, there were cigarette burns in it and stains of all kind of ill repute. And it finally like met its end maybe five years ago when my puppy shit all over it.And I just, I just like, you know what?It's done.
I actually, I think that's a perfect ending because it's you.It's that said life transition.I can no longer be a part of this thing.
I probably shit in it at some point.That thing was disgusting.It needed to go.
And for the record, you never washed it.
Not one time.No.Well, why do you wash something like that?And what's that going to look like?Once a year.
How dirty can it be?Yeah.Not your sweaty, drunken body in it for 12 hours.Pissing all over it.
Fucking working my dick through the hole I made through the bottom years ago to piss out of it.
So you didn't have to do the big zipper.
Yeah, too tight to get off, you know, on a regular basis.It's fucking hard.I just piss out that hole I made, you know?God didn't want me to.He wanted me in that hole right there, I guess.
That's right.Wouldn't have made me so goddamn smart to cut my cock hole in it.
So as an adult, that's my most frequent one.I don't know if it's my best one, but that's the one that sticks out the most in my head.
Yeah. I have, I have two I believe would be my most notables.The year that Billy Mays died.Did you do Billy Mays?I was Billy Mays.You did Billy Mays.I knew you were going to say that.
Same year.I saw so many fucking Billy Mayses that year.Was it right after he died?Yeah.
Oh yeah.Most people were Billy Mays right, because he died in, we could probably look this up, but it was not a short time period right after. His passing.
No, it was either the summer or fall and he died and I was like Because he was in everyone's fucking and just the man was a legend Soaking stuff up and apparently was also a legend with the cocaine.
So it made sense to just tie the two together Absolute fucking hero That's my favorite Halloween candy
But it was, I would say it was memorable because it was a really easy costume, right?It's just like what khakis and a blue shirt.Yeah.Look like you were like the manager at Best Buy.Yeah.And then I just, I had a beard and hair at the time.
So I just spray painted them both blue.Yeah.
I had a, I had a, my roommate who I had for almost 10 years was Billy Mays that year.He stenciled on a like beard and he looked like fucking George Michael.He didn't, it was like he couldn't even.
He was really thin though.He couldn't even.Yeah, exactly.
He couldn't even do.Exactly. It was like, nah, man, you still just look really good.You stop.You don't know what you're doing.
Yeah, that's not part of it.And I stuffed a pillow into a big shirt, and I was Billy Mays.
And it became a problem because towards the end of the night, every room, every time I entered a room, I screamed, it's Billy Mays here, in his crazy Billy Mays voice.And the drunker I got, the worse it got.Oh, I'm sure, I'm sure.
I'd go in the bathroom by myself, it's Billy Mays here!And I'd slam the door. Come back out Every fucking time so oh my god, that was that was a fun one.That was a fun one.I Did see other Billy Mays's out.
Oh, I'm sure you saw there cuz that year I I saw at least four or five I
What's up?What's a Billy Mays if he isn't screaming lunatic shit?Yeah, I mean like you're not really in cost.You're just in costume.You're not in character.Yeah, if you're not screaming lunatic shit at people, yeah, right?
The other one which I debated on doing because he is so beloved, but.As soon as the next time when it rolled around.I was Steve Irwin. Goodness.
Was there a barb through your heart or something crazy?
That's what I mean.Not in like a nice way.I got like khaki top and khaki shorts and boots and the whole thing. And then I got a, like the smallest kind of stuffed stingray I could find.
And I just put a little bloody patch on there and like hooked it, hooked it in.Wow.
My goodness.You are a fucking monster, KY.You earned your title tonight.KY is a fucking monster.
I didn't see a lot of other Steve Irwin stuff.Yeah, I bet not. every single person that asked me, like, oh, what are you?And I'd be like, oh, I'm Steve Irwin, right?And they would be like, oh, it just made everybody sad.
Never too soon, never too soon.It's never too soon, yeah.
I show up with half my head blown off and a fucking, fucking day suit on, like, oh yeah, I'm JFK, man, what's up?
Good to see you, I'm really committing.
I think it was that same year.
I saw a bunch of guys in like fucking AC use or something and they had like a little stretcher with them and it was they were supposed to be the guys who fucking killed fucking killed Osama.
They had a stretcher with like a body on it and it was like, okay, that's kind of funny.
And they got too drunk to really carry it, so they just got left there at whatever party we were at.
Of course.Of course.Yeah.Because the best part about like going to like a Halloween party like in college or like when you're a young person is that about an hour in, you just still become the same drunk you were.
Yeah, you can't commit to anything.And it's dangerous to try to commit to anything anyway, so you shouldn't do that. Adult Halloween, because as I got older, the less I enjoyed Halloween to like dress up, I just couldn't do it for whatever reason.
I did, one year I did, probably very close to the Billy Sims year was the, I did Bear Grylls, who had a popular show at the time.And that included a blue button down shirt, that was untucked from my khakis.
So I just kind of wanted to look like I had just like fallen down a mountain or something.I had a little backpack.
I had a lizard in my front pouch pocket of my shirt that the head was taken off as though I had eaten the head.And then- Where'd you get that little lizard carcass from?I bought just a toy lizard and then decapitated the lizard.
I had committed to the character and that would be some very good method acting, very good method acting.I was not that committed, I was too drunk at the time.I'm Bear Grylls, I'm walking around with a fucking enema on my ass.
I'm just putting the beer up my asshole guys, nothing to see here.
I was going to ask if you were carrying a jar of your own piss.
That would have been the best thing.I had a backpack and the gal I was with, her and her girlfriends, When as like Amazonian women, they had fucking nothing.I was like, good luck to you guys, because it's fucking cold tonight, you fucking idiots.
And yeah, obviously, that relationship didn't last very long.But she was like, hey, carry our liquor.So that was like, that was like six bottles of fucking booze that I was carrying around the entire night in that little backpack.
I remember at the party we went to I was looking at someone and he had something Because no one like got what I was trying to be at first and you'd have to tell them and someone else was in the same position I was like, man, they don't get our humor, you know, like it's you know, this is this is classic stuff But then a guy who is dressed as a fucking condom walks in I was like, that's who we're fucking losing to we're losing that guy dressed as a giant fucking condom That's the yeah, that's who we're fucking losing to tonight um
It does the other one it gets it through other one that is on par with J money's was I went as I rented a Fucking cat in a hat suit one year that was that was way too fucking scratchy Way too scratchy to not be a fucking virus if you know what I mean
Way too scratchy to not be a virus.
And I wore that, I wore that the whole fucking, and like, if I can find it, there's a photo of me, just with a cigarette, and the fucking like, like, the whiskers taped on, and clearly I like, sweated myself and wherever we were at, and I was just like, and I looked like the fucking guy smoking in the back of fucking Disney World, just like, I can't fucking believe I'm doing this shit, so.
If I can put your fucking head back on, you're scaring the kids.
Yeah, exactly.If I can find that one, that's gonna, that's definitely, that'll be a worldwide fucking meme for burned out.
Now, is there a third category?
Of costume, because we did adult.We did child.We did adult.Is there was there like ever a teenage one for you guys was there?
I was thinking I was thinking of of costumes that I would love to be OK, so future aspirations, future aspirations, future costumes and and and for me.I cannot wait to be the ShamWow guy and fucking put KY to fucking shame.
Yeah, yeah, with that fucking Billy Mays that guy.Did that guy go away for a little bit?What happened?
I don't know, but like he's way more intense and I'm fucking screaming people.Didn't he?
But he got nabbed for something, right?Or am I making that up?
I don't know.Like maybe what do you get nabbed for?Like last time I cosigned out a villain, I got burnt.That was Ian Watkins.
Well, you know, that's, you know, you know.
You gotta stop agreeing with him so quickly.
Dude, he just- That's an Ian Watkins problem, that's not your problem.He needs to quit being such a piece of shit.He was a rock star.
I thought, like, for sure he didn't, like, touch kids, but then he did, like a lot.
Like a lot.It's not his fault all his roadies are under 12.That's not his fault. their parents bring them.
Okay, so the ShamWow guy, that's a great one.That's a really good one.
I've always, I got the joke in there a little quick earlier, but I've always wanted to be Tower 2.If I could be Tower 2.That joke's for con man.
You could be terrible.So I, uh, I will say this is a little bit of segue, but I was at a party once.I think it was a Halloween party.We're talking about themes, whatever.
And he had an idea to do a nine 11 party where everyone comes as like people covered in like, Oh my God.He's like, and he's like, Oh, of course you could be like a burnt up skeleton too.And I was like, this is not okay.This is not okay.
He loves these jokes.This is his favorite line.
Fucking A. Oh, you could also be the body that's smashed into the concrete.That's fine too.Just show up as a blob.
Yeah, you could be any of this stuff.I'm like, I don't know if this is a party people.
This is probably not.This is a downer.Are we just playing fucking Only Time by Enya in the background here too?What are we doing?Yeah.
I'm gonna come in dressed up as the demolitions team that put in the explosives.
Play all the conspiracies in real time.
You can always just go as Jesse Ventura.
Can you tell me about the South Tower?I would love it.If you're such a patriot, tell me about the South Tower.
Oh, it's the South Tower.Damn, I've been saying Tower 2 this whole time.
I think it probably is Tower 2.I think Jesse Ventura is wrong, dude.I don't think it's you.I think it's... Hey, man.
I don't know, man.Jesse Ventura. That's a smart man.That's a smart man, Jesse Fincher.
Well, he's lived outside of the continental United States.He's a treasured man.
That's the governor of Minnesota.
It was the governor of Minnesota.
I don't know if I have a future costume I've thought too hard about.Justin, I think your future costume should be, as an adult, you redo the tinfoil knight. You make it, you make it right.
Oh my goodness.I could do the tin, I could redo the tin foil night.I'm going to do it fucking good.I'm going to make, take videos and shit, put it in my fucking Instagram and you guys will fucking love me for it.Oh yeah.Oh yeah.
You just go knock on your mom's door.This is what it's supposed to look like.You fucked it up.You fucked it up.
I have a sack that's going to get filled with candy or someone's going to get fucked up with this aluminum sword.Do you understand?
I think this guy's special on the porch.
And KY, if that's the case, I think that you need to redo your Native American.
You're gonna have to fucking, all the little beads stolen right out of the fucking hamburger helper pouch, baby.Here we go.
I want you to do nothing about the hair loss, though.That needs to stay.
I'm going to look the same.Look the same.I am and then make up some horrible Native American name.I got to say, I don't want to be canceled, even as just a regular person.That would be great not to be canceled.
What's your Native American name?Chiefs goes to Home Depot.That's the that's the fucking name I got. Chiefs drives electric car.That's my name.
That's my name.These are all my names.
I will skip that one.What about you BC?Any future plans?
Future plans.You know what?A few times I had some friends who did a 90s party and I was too lame at the time.I was just like, the 90s were 15 minutes ago.I don't want to do this thing, but I think that would be a fun one to bring back.
They were always like, You know, people that dress as like the cast of Friends, you know, like a Kurt Cobain.
Oh, I would love to be the cast of Seinfeld if we could make that happen.
A cast of Seinfeld, someone would always show up as like a Kurt Cobain.Like, just, it was fun stuff.I think doing that again would be fun.
Ooh, if, God, if I could be a 90s character, geez. Yeah.
That's a fucking- I plan on being Robin Williams from the Birdcage.
Okay.I think that's fair.I think the other one I would love for either of you to be would be an Andrew Dice Clay character.I know he was 80s as well, but definitely had a peak career in the 90s as well.And just go full flat top.
That's what I'm talking about.
I'm gonna get Mark McGrath from the 90s.
Oh, that would be and if you could if you could do that Would you do would you do the frosted?Would you do the frosted?
Oh, yeah 100% Mark McGrath or Ice Cube someone really popular from the 90s.I think that's who I would be.Yeah.
Yeah You have I mean Justin has had frosted tips in the past.That's true the distant distant past
I would I think I think for Future I would do I would love to do a mr. Rogers.
I think I'll kill it Mr. Rogers, that's a good I'll volunteer to be the black mailman because I've already done Yeah, man In for a penny, you know You find the money where you can you did Native American you did blackface.
You're a diverse actor at this point, dude.I Yeah, man.
It's me and it's fuckin' RDJ.RDJ.The only people who can get away with it.
Yeah.KY's starring in the new Sojourner Truth biopic that's coming out.Yeah, he will be Sojourner Truth, yeah.
Yeah, it's like, I'm Sojourner Truth and the other.Yeah.
He's playing both roles.Trans race, transgender in this thing, dude.
Yeah, man.Guess what?They get it on in a super weird way.Yeah.
It was a sexually charged day of filming. Between me, myself and him.
Yeah.But those are, I think those are the big, you know, theme parties.I have many opinions about them.I think they can be really fun if they're done well and it's the right group.Otherwise they just, they're dumb.They need to go away.
Well, even like, even Halloween can be a big swing.Yes, absolutely it can.If it isn't the right crowd who gets the costume, even if you have put a little bit of effort into it and like, oh, I don't really get it.
Like, right.Like Halloween is like, is it the super gory crowd, right?Or is it like the clever crowd or like, again, the group, you know, it could be a whole mess of things.
I went to a party recently, you know, maybe past two years.There was a guy there dressed as Lieutenant Dangle from Reno 9-1-1.And that's a great costume.
That is a great costume.That's a great costume.Great show.Underrated show.Despite all the accolades it got, still underrated.
Oh man, so funny, clever, great show.
Great show.But if that is that, fellas, I think we just did the costume episode.I think we did the costume episode.
I think we just did the costume episode.
If you like us, please find us wherever you... Obviously, this isn't your podcast.We're on all the streaming services.Come find us on social media.We're on the Twitter.We're definitely on the Instagram.Come find us.We got many followers there.
We'd love to have you as one of our lesser-known peeps.Come find us on the Facebook.Come do this journey again with us.What was your favorite Halloween costume?What was your least favorite?What type... Do you hate candy? Do you like candy?
What's your least favorite candy?What's your most favorite candy?
Fuck candy.What candy do you put up your butt?
Yeah, what candy do you put up your butt?Do you do an enema with candy?Easier sugar access.That's for diabetics out there.
I haven't tried it, but I'm tempted now.
Amen.Get some Pop Rocks up there.Spice it up. Tramp your love life.
Put the warheads up the asshole.You're about to chap that.
The most banana shaped candy I can find.Yikes.What's that?
I don't know.Maybe fucking gummy worms.Candy apple.Candy apple.With the peanuts and everything on there?
You're a monster.That's a fucking weird thing.Yeah, tell us what kind of candy you put up your butthole. We'll talk about it.
R.I.P.for your disaster.R.I.P.for your disaster.Yeah.
Yeah, do you want it to be painful or do you want it to be ergonomic?Tell us.
Yeah.Alright, that's it.Anyways, we love ya.
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