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Hello, Megan.Hello, Melissa.It's Friday.It is Friday.
Fisting Friday.I can't think of a better activity on this Friday.
There's nothing else I'd want to do.There's nothing to talk about.There's nothing.There's nothing.What a just... You know, thank God we're not going to have history books anymore, because this definitely isn't a moment for them.No, no, no, no.
There's no need here.Paint my nose.Oh, how are you going to paint them?
I've already been.Oh, love that color.I'm about to put some razzle dazzle on top of it.
You know, as someone with a little sparkle, it's purplish for I mean, y'all can't see it's a purplish color.
for what Pennsylvania should have been.So, I can't even talk about it.Anyways, so you need a little sparkle there.I did put up our Christmas tree yesterday.And you know what?I was gonna say.
Even Melissa is not gonna have any words to say other than, Love that for you.I was like, I have to find some joy.
Yeah, I have to find some joy too, but I also don't need people sending me what they presume would be my joy.And I know that some of y'all are well-meaning, but when have I or have I ever been into inspirational quotes
or inspirational videos ever in my life.This is a Wendy's, not a Chick-fil-A.And it might turn into a Waffle House.
I hope it does.As someone who is, that is like pretty high up there on my top five bucket list, I want to go to a Waffle House so badly.And it should turn into a Waffle House.Yeah.
Um, yeah, I want everyone to just remember that, like, I might have been the one who posted the graphic on, um, our podcast Instagram account about, like, ugh, I want a lobotomy.Um, and so Melissa didn't post that.That was me.
But just understand Melissa and I are friends.And the, the jokes of the, uh, not necessarily finding light in things, but like, you know, that was, there was never, you've never seen any of those inspirational posts on our Instagram.
You know?You've never seen me posting?No.So, please stop.I've temporarily deleted my Instagram.Well, just like off my homepage, so I don't automatically click on it because my inbox is flooded right now and I don't understand why.
Yeah.We were talking about this offline, but like, it's, Straight up, most of the time, just patronizing, even when it does not intend to come across like that.
And it reminds me similarly to the dialogue every time there's a school shooting, wherever it's like, oh my God, I can't imagine living in a place like that.That's so horrible.Our government is telling me all of these things. Okay.
That's kind of like, just to Matt, like to, to the reflection of that is like, someone's talking about, um, a miscarriage and someone going, I can't even imagine that I'm, I've never had one.And then I'm so lucky that my kids are all alive.
Like, it's just, it's, it, it's super unnecessary.Most of the time.I agree with you.A lot of people are well-meaning some people very clearly aren't.Um, but,
I always say the best thing to do if you want to be like, oh, I want to show this person, A, you don't need to show if we already know that you are like, this sucks and feel it.But it's just like, fuck that.This fucking sucks.
It does not have to be a kumbaya kind of moment at all.Yeah. So tell me about your decorations.
So, well, Monts, yesterday, like when he came home, he like had the biggest smile on his face and he was like, I'm so glad you put the tree up because- What's that like?I know.
First of all, I also have, he was like very upset the night before and I was like, I love you to death.I am the upset, you can't like, I need you to, I can't, I don't want you to commiserate with me on this level right now.
Like I need you to like lift me out of the trenches and like, I know this sucks. Um, it sucks worse.Like this, I just need that.And so, um, there are certain things that are like, I can't, I can't laugh at it.Like there it's some of it's too raw.
So he was like, he came in with a smile and he was like, I'm so glad you put the tree up because like it's in front of our bay window.So when you drive up, like at the bottom of our street, very end of the road, you can just see it.
And he was like, that's just amazing.He's like, and the neighbors walked by and like, everybody was like giving knowing looks of like, Yeah, that's a good time for that.
But I've been adding stuff on, so I haven't gone full garland and everything, because right now I still have the Thanksgiving-y, Halloween-y, velvet, jewel-toned pumpkins that I have on the mantle, and now I've added in some of the Christmas trees, and I haven't decorated the tree yet.
Yeah, so I'm doing the transition.Not because I think like, it's too early for the Christmas part.I think I'm just trying to prolong the joy and give myself more things to do.
But we I told you about how we got a new garland over the summer, like three new ones.And they look so beautiful.They're like very pretty. And I'm going to do some more crafts, I think, to make more Christmassy, fun stuff like that.
But we were planning on painting our living room before we put up the Christmas decorations, because I was like, otherwise, we're not going to do it until the new year, because we're not going to paint with Christmas decorations up.
And then I said, fuck the paint.I'm putting these decorations up. E-fucking-mediately.So they look at all, I'll send you some pictures once I take any.But I found a TV show that I want you to talk about Agatha all along.
And then I want to bring up this TV show that I almost picked as my hot take, The Gorge. Love the nails.
I almost picked talking about this TV show as my hot take, but there are just far more pressing matters in the world, and I just really want to discuss it with you so we can discuss it here, but let's do it after Agatha.
Okay.Yeah, I finished it.Yeah, I started it when we talked about it, and it was good.I think the ending, I didn't need all that backstory.We could have cut half of those up, like the backstory for Agatha and, spoiler alert, Wanda's kid cut
their backstories in half.I didn't need all that.But I did enjoy it.I hope that we get more.I would prefer not to be with the kid and just all the other witches in death, like them haunting people and stuff.I want to see that.And I hope we continue.
I really liked it.I thought like it was And I'm curious, like, what the... I don't know if there were, like, if, like, head writers or anything was, like, a crossover between WandaVision and this, like, if anyone was, like, the same.
But, like, without a doubt, like, they were so aligned.And I am really curious about, like, the source material and how much of it is, because, like, with so many of these, like, anything Marvel, it's usually one story of, like, a massive thing.
That's what this is.It's a lot of the comic books combined together.
Well, cause like, and I was like, I wondered if it was that because like the, the theme of both of them of just being like grief and like how you deal with grief, like as a woman and like, you know, all of these allegories of like what powers are and like all of those kinds of things.
I was like, wow, I, I wonder how much of this is like plucked from multiple different things to like have this really cohesive through line that,
um attaches the shows together i think in like such a great way because like one of my favorite things about um marvel stuff and things that have like very extensive source material is the fact that like the look is really important like the color scheme is going to be really different the shooting style is going to be really different the acting style like everything's like
it's very much like, which Powerpuff Girl color character are you?And then the personality that fit, like, it's so all-encompassing.
And so then for them to be in the same world, but like, not the same in that way, but then to have like, the acting part and then the, like, just the aspect of like, motherhood and like, grief, I was like, oh, shit.
Like, and it didn't even click for me until obviously the end that I was like, Oh, wow.
Yeah, I'm going to go back and watch WandaVision again and then watch watch it all the way through.Watch WandaVision and then watch.
Again, because I'm sure there are a ton of things that I missed, especially like WandaVision.I was constantly trying to figure out what was going on.Yeah, because there was a lot going on.And now knowing what it was to go back and watch it.
I think that I will, I've loved it the first time, but I think I'll love it even more the second time around.
Yeah, I want to watch it again.And I just want more seasons of, give me more WandaVision, give me more Agatha all along.I don't need Vision.
Even though he has his own show.That's what's coming out.Tall Olsen, didn't she say, tall-ish, didn't she say that she's done with Wanda?Yeah, she's done. I mean, the other two are tiny.
No, I know, but she's probably like F6.
Yeah, no, no, no.Elizabeth Olsen.Yeah, I think she is done.I mean, granted, I probably would have been too, like it doesn't need, there doesn't need to be more to it.Like it was perfect.But I loved it so much.It was like perfect.
And like, but I'm kind of one of those things.
I guess I should watch the movies that, I didn't watch any of the movies that she's in. posts, everything, okay.
What?Melissa, this is an audio format, and I'm just sitting here listening to you.
I said okay.Okay, perfect.I just said okay.
Yeah, but you implied that I might've been doing something.
I just said okay.We could've just left it at that.
Well, you know actually what it might do for you, because it is what it did for me, I was incredibly impressed with it all.I will say I was a little bit confused about the dialect and the accents.
I'll just say it.She started the Scarlet Witch, what is she called before that?
No, before, because doesn't she find out she's the Scarlet Witch?She's just Wanda Maximoff, right?
Yeah, she's just Wanda.Yeah, okay, so yeah.Okay, I thought you meant like another name.
No, no, no, I was just trying to differentiate between the eras of what movies.Got it.And so when she was like just Wanda Maximoff, her and her brother, They had not the same accent.They're supposed to be the same accent.
It's giving, it was Anna Delvey, like vaguely Eastern.
They're from the same area, so it makes sense.From nowhere?They're supposed to be from the same area that Anna Delvey is, so if it's a nowhere accent, then it makes sense.That's what I'm saying, they're from nowhere.
And it was just that, and then as each,
even as the movies would go along like the accent would really slip in and out like it would really change and then she very quickly over i want to say over the course of three movie appearances she said i'm dropping this accent and then by the time we start with wanda no no i'm talking about the post actor
Oh, which one?The snap.I'm talking about... Because she's in Spider-Man, right?
Yeah, but she's hardly... Oh, okay.Yeah, I mean, isn't that when she's back at the loft and she's like... I don't know, because I haven't seen it.No, I don't know if that's one division.But she's just like... Well... You know what?
Maybe I need to do this again.I need to watch it too, because I actually don't remember.
I think that it's important.Whatever happens is important, because she puts everything on the trajectory that the Marvelverse is on now.Did you not watch The Last Avengers?I did.
But then there's stuff that happens in... I just heard there's stuff that happens after that.
You know what?I think you're right.I don't think I've watched it I don't think I've watched the Marvel movies in sequence with WandaVision in there, so I don't think I know where that lies in the scope of it.But yeah, that's a good point.
Yeah, that actually seems like a good... Because you're right, it does have the lead up, and I'm vaguely remembering it, but not in the context of how exactly we get to WandaVision, so that makes me think, no, it's not that.Doctor Strange.
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I think so, because when I look outside, I go, oh my God, look at all these brown crispy leaves that have fallen to the ground and they're crunchy and I can prance around in them, except for not too long, because it's still 85 degrees out.Right.
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That's the exposition, the setup of all of it.And it's actually quite good.You'd like it.I think Spider-Man season eight for just like a bit.
Because I was trying to watch everything in order.And then because I was watching everything in order, then I got behind on everything else that was coming out.And so whatever.I can't say. Surprise.
I'm off my soaps right now because they are off the rails, like in a completely not absolute regular way.Yeah.Days of our Lives is doing a soap opera within a soap opera.
They are filming a soap opera and have people that are on the show, like characters on the show, quit their jobs as like a baker, a CEO of a company to go be actors on this soap that's within a soap.Who's manning the cameras?They have actors.
That's what I was asking.
Also manning, like you see crew.
like you can't that when do they do those meta things I always find it so funny because I'm like it's not like in any regular tv show you'll have at least one crew member play like a role that has one line or do a line off camera because like it's easier it's cheaper and like people always want to do it's just fun but I'm like when you do a full meta in meta like then you have to cast people
I was like, these are the most people we've seen on screen in a while.Why can't we just repurpose this money somewhere else?The head writer got fired because of all this.
Because of this storyline that's now happening?
They filmed six months in advance, so it's going to be on screen for a while. So I'll come back later.General Hospital, they killed off an actress that has been on for like over 25 years.She did not want to go.It pissed people off.
I'm not the biggest fan of her character, but I just thought it was dirty how they did it.I don't like that.They also have I talked about this.I think I've talked about it on this show on this show before, but they have
Um, this one character hooking up with his nephew's wife.
And that character is also fucking.The guy's fucking that girl's mother, too.So like that's happening.They completely wrote a rewrote another character. And then surprise, her dad's been in town the whole time.
And I'm just like, and he's like a vet that's like pushing eight.I think he might be 80.And I was just like, why are we doing this?And she was also, because now that this is her dad, that means that. She's been hooking up with her cousin.
Tell me that Leo Howard is not in any of this incest storyline.
No, he's on Days of Our Lives.I'm talking about General Hospital now.And I just, there's just too much happening.And I said, no.Young and the Restless.Bring back the devil. That's days of our lives.Young and the Restless.
They had for this character's like, I think it's her 30th anniversary.They had her have like a complete mental breakdown and it was done so inappropriately.And she kills like another legacy character.I just need a break.
There's too much stupid shit happening right now. So because all that's happening, I have more TV time at night, so I can pick back up on my Marvel watching.
But still, are you ready to watch English Teacher yet?
I know, but when you might have the time to emotionally get over Really, at this time, you think I have the emotional capacity to get over something?I don't think you have the emotional capacity.
I think you might just stop giving a fuck and then be like, let me get a hee hee ha ha.Maybe.You know?And there's nothing wrong with that.
Maybe. So what is this other show that you want to talk about?
So it showed up on my For You page.I think, like, once at first I was like, this, skip.Like, what the fuck is this?And then the next time I, like, kept paying attention.I was like, this is insane.And then I never saw anything of it again.
And I was like, great, they canceled that show.Like, that that seems like a fucking parody of it.It's like Lonely Island would be like, that's too fucking weird.Like, it was just so fucking obscene.And then it showed up again.
And I was like, there is no way that today, 2024, this show is still on the air, and all of the comments were not people who are feeling like me.They are people who are, like, earnestly and genuinely engaging with this content.
And it is a TV show called Crime Scene Kitchen on Fox.
Oh.I've never seen this show, but, you know, I get pretty much the full episodes on TikTok.
Yeah, and the fact that this isn't just a bit for TikTok is insane to me.So the summary for anyone who doesn't know, a culinary guessing game in which bakers must decide what type of dessert was made when all that's left is a few clues.
They'll have to recreate the recipe and the jury will determine how closely it matches the missing dessert. That is such a underhanded, soft fucking pitch way to say what this is.
No, no, they stage crime scenes with baked goods and then they have to go in with their fucking magnifying glass like a detective and be like, I see the splatter of the raspberry coulis.
I've pretty much watched full episodes on TikTok.I know exactly what this is.
It's fucking insane.And then it's like, well, I don't know.And here's the thing. it's essentially reverse chopped where it's like you have these you have like the final um
reverse chopped in the sense that like chopped you have your like mystery basket of things and then you have to like make something with it this is like you know the ingredients and you're trying to figure out what it is that you're supposed to make and i would say it's more like chopped less like great british bake-off um because great british bake-off has a little a little more class to it than this um and like chopped is like
Thanksgiving-themed, you have one weed gummy bear, a left shoe, and a used tissue, and some cumin.There you go.And it's like, what the fuck?How am I supposed to do this?And watching these people earnestly
dip their finger into red splatter on a wall that looks like someone would have gotten murdered and lick it like they're a fucking Sherlock Holmes character.It's insanity.What do you expect is hosted by Joel McHale?
When I saw that part, I said, Joel, bring back the soup.
Yes, please bring back the soup.We need it because Joel was constantly making fun of soap operas.And I need that brought back because
Maybe they'd get in line.
They'd get their shit together because they would see how absurd it is.
Yeah, and you're like, I'm fine with these other storylines that are fucking crazy.It's a lot when I say you've gone too far.Uh-huh. Yeah, so it is just absolutely obscene.And like, conceptually, they just didn't have to go this far.
Like, if you want to be like, okay, here are your mystery ingredients.Now make something awesome, do that.But to like cash in on like the true crime, baking thing, what I tell you was the first thing that went through my head was,
I not not that I'm saying that they would have considered me for this but as somebody who has done baking and cooking related shows and had people approach with fully done ideas and like we've sold you with you doing this I was like thank god I've made my stance on true crime abundantly clear because the way that like
this is something that would have been pitched.Like, I just need cooking shows just to do, like, a little bit less.Like, we can make it slightly less complicated.We don't, as a viewer, we don't need, like, five little buttons.
Like, little, all these, like, little gimmick.Like, just do one.Just, like, or none.
Yeah, because they could have just said that it's a mystery thing.You didn't have to say it was true crime.Just mystery baking.Figure this out.And I... I will say it does hook me like I've said, I've watched.
And the thing is, Fox posts the full episodes because they know this.It's like, let's make more money on TikTok than, you know, people watching this live.So they post full episodes when they hit it.
When you see the nervousness of the contestants of them, like, did I do it?Because all of them are making something good because they're just using the ingredients that are provided.But they're not necessarily making the dish that
is what they're supposed to make.So I just like when they nail it.Maybe I shouldn't say nail it, that's another cooking show.
Oh yeah, Nicole Byer said, that's not my property.The part that like, I like, I need you guys to take off your fucking latex black gloves.
I need you to stop like swirling the baking soda and like putting it on your fucking gums to be like, is this cocaine?Like, just stop.Like, it's so fucking weird to me that like, yeah, like you literally,
because it's just this gimmick to get to the actual like you said the actual point which is mystery and then see what you make and again they're all making good things it's not like they're trying to recreate something that they know what it is and it's like a failure and like oh no it broke or whatever like it's just it's like cupcake wars in the sense like it's entertaining to watch people who are good at what they do have like different approaches to things or whatever
but like for the first like fucking half of the episode have to be them like tiptoeing around with like crime scene investigation tape and again like there are lots of knives always used like there's always like there's there's knives there's things like set up like blood or like things like that and it's just
It is not appetizing at all.And that's exactly what the entire fucking point of the show is.So I just think that we can keep things separate.And true crime should never just be a little add-on thing.
People are like, I have a pop culture podcast with a sprinkle of true crime.I go, that's fucking insane.Unless your podcast is just about Armie Hammer, that's just insane to me to be like, OK, so Kim Kardashian wore this.
And also, can we talk about Jeffrey Dahmer?And it's like, what?
Whoa, no, we can't.We actually can't.Like, it's too much.And I want to blame Ryan Murphy for this.Like, it's just like, it's Ryan Murphy.And it's also reminding me of
my favorite murder and uh any of those like true crime and coffee like true crime and a little creme brulee like stop being so weird about it um but on a lighter summer related note anna kendrick went on
She either went on Crime Junkies or she went on one of those ones that like, not, I mean, I don't, unless it's someone who it's literally their family and they're talking specifically about a true crime case that is about, they're trying to see justice for their own family or they're that involved in it in the sense that like they are a survivor.
Sarah is like a great one.But she went on that podcast and they were like, oh, like we saw you like partnered up with like organizations that like we also love to partner up with.
And I was like, dang, I bet they're hoping that, wishing they hadn't said that to her.Cause she basically was like, well, yeah, you know, like the profiting off of true crime thing is like really icky to me.
And like, I didn't even think about like this movie, her movie, uh, woman of the, woman of the hour, woman of the hour, it making sure I didn't think about it making money.
Like we were just trying to like finish the deadline to get into, um, I think it was TIF maybe, but to get into a festival.
So when finally like a couple weeks later and people my agents are sending me emails about like offers she was like oh never crossed my mind that like we would profit off of it like beyond just like breaking even on this movie and she was like and like you know sat there sat with it for like a split second of like
would I feel good taking, making money off of this?And she was like, no.So like, yeah.And they're like, oh, so like you donated a portion?She's like, no, I just like donated my entire cut.And they both were like, oh.And I'm like, hmm.
Yeah, these women with their like architectural digest, like home tours, like the moguls behind your favorite true crime podcast.I'm like, oh, yeah.Well, well, well.Mm-hmm.Mm-hmm. And making a movie is a lot more work than a podcast.
And we say that as people that can't do both.
Yeah, like it's a big fucking difference.Big fucking difference.Especially when your source material for a podcast is other people's stories.
I think it's kind of our podcast.
By the way, we actually tell them to call in with their own trauma, not saying, hey.
We're gonna steal somebody else's.
Yeah.Let me know if you've heard of a friend of a friend's trauma that I can use my whole fucking podcast episode about.And then let me know if you have any hometown trauma.Crazy.So yeah, unfortunately, I think I'm gonna start watching the show.
I'm going to find I'm going to watch clips on TikTok because I also need to know I need to know what I'm up against in the battle sense, because when I pitch a new cooking show, a new baking show. It's going to be the antidote to this.OK.
I'd be like, you know what the youths want?They want Sandra Lee semi-homemade.They want Ina Garten.
They want rich, wealthy women who might be a little bit tipsy in their kitchen, either making things that are unattainable but look delicious, or things that just feel like off the fucking wall stoner food.Come on.Give us that.Yep.
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We have not recorded since Halloween.
Mm-hmm.And... How's your neighborhood?
Oh my God, it was up and down.So when it started, I was like, oh, well, we should keep the porch light on.And then I was like, well, maybe they can't see our decorations.Let's turn the porch light off.
And then we turned the porch light off, and then we were getting ignored.And I was like, we got to turn the porch light back on.
Yeah, people think that if you don't have the light on, then you don't have to.
Yeah, but people were going to our neighbor's house.We were literally hanging out with them right up until the sun went down.Our neighbor, she came over, and she was like, Wait, so how much candy do you have?
And they had a friend who was going to come over, and they were going to see their kid in their costume, and then they were going to go.
But of the entire neighborhood, they were like, we have to get more on top of it, because you guys are so much more ahead on the decorations.Our other neighbors who were close with, they were like, we're the last ones.
The way that they were getting so many trick-or-treaters and then I'm texting my other neighbor and I go, are you seeing how many trick-or-treaters are getting?Yeah.And they put their decorations up last and we were like, wait, I'm getting insecure.
Like, should we tell them to like send it over to like us?Our other neighbor was like, I forgot to get candy.So I'm giving the kids weird stuff.And I was like, what are you giving them?They meant like, I think they were giving them
No, at first I was like, are you giving them like pencils?Like, are you giving them like around the house kind of stuff?And like, that very much is their vibe.Let me see what she had said.She said, Oh, what are you giving them?
Werther's Originals and Gushers were like the ones at the end.I was like, that's... Do they have kids?What?No, no, no.
So they just had Werther's and Gushers at their home.
Yeah, that is very on brand for them.And then also then they said, and then the Mexican lollipops with Tajin.And I was like, honestly, those are probably going to do incredibly well.And we were like, wait, why is everybody skipping our house?
Did you have your gate open?We did.We almost started polling the kids who did come up and be like, okay, rate your experience one to five.How would you recommend this to a friend?What were your stipulations behind this?
Because it felt like they were going to our other neighbor's house.All of our neighborhood kids who live right next, who we see and we know, they came over And they did like a very cute whole family costume.
And we were like, we got your favorite candies and they were like, yay.And then I was like, oh my God, we hardly saw them.They were just like in and out so quickly.Cause we were the first, one of the first houses that they did.
And Mats and I were like literally sitting there like stewing.And we were like, we have to like talk because we're sitting on the, we like then decided to sit on the porch to be like, We're here, we have candy.
And I think what we had discovered was, A, the porch light needs to be on, we need more lights leading up, but it's this, our goddamn fucking neighbors, who thankfully they switched out their sign, but they used to have a graveyard.
with a Dr. Fauci little sign on it.They went so full out.I swear to God, they were acting like they were, they had a routine, like a bit they were doing.
There was smoke machine, like fog machines, like, and they're in like the, like, it's just like a flatter area.And it's just like so intense that like,
their parents were like we'll do all we'll do this stretch we're not going to go over there and i was like oh my god like what do i have to do next time but we did also realize that the kids and they weren't like very much like a neighborhood neighborhood so the kids are also just getting older so they like were trick-or-treating a little bit later into the evening and like later into the night so we're like we have to add
more lights and do all of that, but also some people were like, like some of the older kids, they were like, they'd yell from like the gate and be like, do you have candy?It's a lot of stairs.And I'm like, we've got candy.And they're like, oh, OK.
Y'all are going to have to be the people that sit on the line.
That's what I was saying.I was like, maybe we sit like on the base of the stairs for that.
And also because like I think having more lights in there, we have like lots of no one like their older kids are going without their parents, but like the younger kids who are going.
it's again neighborhood like we know everybody and so like parents are like not shut they're not like oh don't go here like it's like a long dark it's not that dark and it's like we've got light and it's not that long but like some kids are like if they're too little they're like no this is a little dark it's a little scarier i don't want to i don't want to have to walk through this um so
we might like adjust that, but our neighborhood kids, the ones that were like friends with salad girl, salad girl family, they came like a second time.
And they were like, they were, they, they're dressed as the Simpsons, the whole family, which I would, I didn't get my, I like asked and Jake, a Simpsons.And I was like, And Macho's like, oh, I get it.
Well, because I have never watched The Simpsons.I understand that.I never really watched The Simpsons either, but they're just so much part of pop culture.But I was seeing them separately.
Like, I wasn't seeing the whole family costume all at once.Were they yellow?Kind of, but they also kind of looked like... I thought they might have been Teletubbies. Yeah, also yellow.
One of them, yeah.Po?Tinky Winky?Tinky Winky.Okay, stop.That's how Tinky Winky said their name.Dipsy, Lala, Po.Tinky Winky.Well, no, you don't know what they look like.
They look like the babies in the Teletubbies' son, which is, you know, yellow and spiky hair.So, but yes, they came back again, and I was like, wait. And Mats could not contain himself.He was laughing so hard.
He's like, I cannot believe you just did this.But so all of these kids were coming up much later in the night.So it got popping.And we were like, whoa, whoa.And then Mats, at one point, he was like, I thought I saw more kids.
He was going to pick up dinner.He's like, I thought I saw more kids.I brought another bag of candy.And I was like, no, we're fine.Go get the dinner.
Yeah, he wanted the nerds. Um, and so the, a big group of people have like come up and like, we're handing them candy and our neighbors kids are like, they had just walked up to for a second time because they were like finishing theirs there.
Um, and I was like, Oh, I'm so glad you guys came back.Like I didn't give you enough last time.And then I'm looking at the bowl and I go, wait, just hold back.I'll give you, I'll give, I'll give you, I'll give you guys the good candy.
And so I'm handing other kids the candy we have here.And I go, let's go get them.
and the other kids I'm handing the existing candy in the bowl to are like looking at me like and I like whispered to one girl I was like yeah I was like we got we got we got the ring pops and those caramel apples for you and they're like oh and then someone else like turns around and I was like I mean I'm not real the caramel lollipops like and I'm like that was the most blatant favoritism of like hey you you neighbor kids that we know hold back we're gonna get you the good candy you fucking losers I'll give you what's in here and they like came back and I'm like handing
And they were like, love it, thank you.
And their mom was dying laughing and everybody was like, that was so, and it didn't even cross my mind that I was like, oh yeah, I guess you're not supposed to do that in front of kids to be like- Not in front of them.
No, not in front of them being like truly the most blatant favoritism.And I wanted to look at these other kids who were like giving me this aghast look.And I'm like, I don't know you.I don't know you.I don't, these are my homies.
These are my, this is, this is my street.This is my community.This is my crew.Like, I don't, I don't know you. Of course I'm playing favorites.But I was like, maybe it's good that our nephew doesn't trick or treat at all.
Because I could see him just being like, can I just have it all?
It was slow in my neighborhood too.I heard that.Which was surprising to me.
In general, I looked on Reddit and everyone in LA was saying it was oddly slow.Yeah.And I don't know why.
The first trick-or-treater I had was a woman with her nine month old.And I was like, you are a scammer.Your child cannot eat candy.And I was like, whatever.Here's your fucking piece of candy.
And then the second ones that I had, the second group I had were like these two little girls.And one of the girls had a baby Yoda, but it had nothing to do with her costume. And she was like, just a hot baby Yoda.And I said, okay.
And then she was like, can baby Yoda have a piece?I said, no.Like, stop trying to scam me.
Okay.Like, no.Does baby Yoda count in the carpool lane?I just laughed and closed the door.That's so funny.And closed the door. And then it was and then, you know, and I had full size piece of the king.So it's not like I was like giving candy.
I'm giving full bars of candy.It's not like I'm skimping.You're trying to scam me.You're fucking baby Yoda.Get away.And then like people are just kind of trickling in. We didn't end up doing the pumpkins because everybody forgot.That's fair.
That's fair.We were like, that's fine.
You're traumatized from your hayride.
Yes.Ordered barbecue from... Your place?No, a new place.Oh, it's a new place?Yes.It's called... Hold on.They have a really cool name. Ribs against the machine.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The coleslaw, too vinegary.But everything else was fire.
I can usually work with a too vinegary coleslaw.
I'm fine with the vin.I love coleslaw on my sandwich.So it was good on the sandwich.Yeah, I was going to say, yeah, I could.It was too much off that.Too much as a side.Yeah. And it was like, we're like, this is a new tradition.
We're not doing pumpkins anymore.We're just getting this barbecue.And I ordered it like at 430 because it was coming all the way from Burbank.And I knew.And I was like, I know it's going to take them forever.
So by the time everybody got there, like the barbecue had just got there.And it was delicious.I'm writing it down. Then, like I said, it was slow trickling in.
I don't know if you looked, but on Nextdoor, they had a thing where you could say that you had candy at your house.I did that.Then more people start coming.I was like, this is odd.I just thought more people use Nextdoor.We...
One group came and I had just refilled the basket of candy and Ty had gone to the door and the kids took all of it. And he just turns around and he goes, they took all, I was like, why didn't you stop then?Men are fucking useless.
I was like, you're a grown man.You were a college athlete.He literally turned around and his mouth was aghast.I can't, I can't.
You tell them to take one.Ty, you're the adult here. My hands were tied, I couldn't do anything about it.That's crazy.
Watch Casper, I think we already talked about this.Yeah. I wrote a little sexy ghost story inspired by it.I'm really proud of it.I'm going to continue writing it.
Because I was just doing it as a proof of concept, but I was like, this actually looks pretty good.
Yeah.It's a good story.Yeah.So that was my Halloween night.
That's fun.The costume, we saw one kid was, I think, Blade. Like on Abbott Elementary.And Matsu was like, wow, that's a cool costume.I was like, yeah, you must have a pretty cool parent.Your parents must be pretty cool.
I think I said, you must have a pretty cool grown-up. And he goes, no, no, no, this child could not have been more than three and a half, maybe four years old.He goes, no, I just have very sophisticated taste.
And then I hear, he like cackle laughing, goes, did you really just say, it's not your grownup who's cool, you have sophisticated taste?And I was like, just confirmed, that is what this child just said.And they were like, I'm so cool.
yeah dad like you're you're sure you're kind of cool and i was like sophisticated taste them saying that solidifies it like you must be pretty cool like that's yeah because they obviously copied it from something you should exactly i was like no no don't worry that just solidified that you're you have cool grown-ups and they were like dying laughing and then the we had so many inflatable costumes of them like just trying
to get up like the stairs and like grab the can and like so funny and Mott's also like he always has he always talks about like trying to like toe the line as a man for being like very excited for like Halloween and like he like gets along really well with kids and like loves our niece and nephew and all that and like not coming across as like he's like I don't ever want to like
you know, be creepy in a way that, like, I don't want it to, like, come across anything bad like that."And I was like, okay, so smile, you know?Like, this big, brooding, intimidating... And don't ask too many questions.No, no, no, not at all.
And also, like, you know, he's like, I only do this kind of stuff, like, with you or whatever, but there are times where I go, oh, yeah, this is someone who, like, does not engage with lots of, like, he doesn't babysit.
And so, like, these kids came up and they were, um... Daphne and Velma and Mads goes, Oh, Daphne.And yeah, the other one.And I was like, what?And they were like, I'm the other one.I was like, Velma, I, we know, we know it's Velma.
And he was like, oh shit, sorry.And they're like, and I was like, stop swearing.It was so funny though.
but like he like came home early from work and like everyone at his work is like wait what are you going home early for he's like well you know Halloween they're like oh are you like taking your nephew trick-or-treating and he was like no we just like live in a neighborhood where like people go all out for Halloween so like yeah I want to I wanted to see the trick-or-treaters and like everyone he works with besides like his boss and like the executive like high up team they're all like early 20s and they're all like what really and he was like I feel so old
But it's also, like, neighborhood-wise, because I've told him, like, up until this house, I have never been on the side of, like, handing out, like, not my childhood home, not any apartment or any place I've ever lived in.But it was so fun.
And we saw... The way that I guessed every single fucking person was, if I couldn't tell the costume, I was like, it's getting Paddington, because it would be, like, yellow, blue, and red.And I was like, Paddington?
It was never fucking Paddington.And one of them, when they left, they were like, oh no, it's... And then it clicked for me as they were leaving.I was like, Kiki!Kiki's delivery service!I love that!And they were like, yeah!
And I was like, oh my God, I loved that fucking movie as a kid.But you could see, especially with the referential concept costumes where it's mostly colors aligning to that, that it was like, I thought it was Paddington.
Finally, someone comes up and I guess everything else.And I go, okay, what is it?They're like, Paddington.I go, it's like, you're kidding me. Finally a Paddington in the wild.And I guess every other person is fucking Paddington.
But there was, yeah, there's lots of good costumes.And there were so many like little cute, like little princesses.And I was like, I love your princess dress.Like my mom picked it out.And I was like, oh, mom has good taste.
And they were just like so cute.
Or like if the kids were shy and there were older kids who like were related to them, but then also ones who weren't related to them would like help these other kids like get the candy that they wanted and like, you know, like put candy in there.
And I was like, that's so sweet.Like, yeah. There's just something, like, so nice about humanity on Halloween.
And buying, like, hundreds of dollars worth of candy just, like, to give out for free to, like, kids in your neighborhood just because they're wearing a costume.Like, that's ridiculous.
It's so fun.And then they're like, this is the best house.And I was like, that's all I'm getting.
Oh, yeah.The amount of people who are like, the adults were like, love this guard.And I was like, that's why I sweep for you.I got the good candy for the kids.And all I want is the compliments from the adults.
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Avia's neighborhood was popping though.Really?She was out of candy within 45 minutes.She showed me a video outside and it was like what you imagine, like on movies where it's all over.No way.
Yeah.I bet it's got to be one of those places where people drive there, park, and then they do it, and then they drive home.
Yeah, because I had been like, do you want to come over?She's like, nah, neighborhood over here.This is where we want to be.
Wait, that's so crazy. Yeah, because I always wondered what Nate because like I know like, you know, large front area.What's that one that you and Mott's love that I can't stand with with too many fast cars?
Hancock Park, Hancock Park.
Those like and like, you know, Palace, like I'd get tired over there. I don't get it.I've said this from the beginning, that is not a place that makes any sense to me for it being so fucking expensive.I would never want to live there.
Money, no object, I still don't want to live there.
Yeah.It's like a thing where you see it and you're like, I want to live there.But in practicality, it's like, no, thank you.No, it's just miserable.There's too many cars.
It's like living on a freeway in a $7 million home.
But yeah, so like there, I always think about like, oh, what neighborhoods are the ones that you like go, or the streets where you go and you like drive there, you park and you trick or treat all the way there.
And like, I remember like ours as a kid, like we had our neighbor, like our neighborhood was, it would be crazy for Halloween, like just in general.But then at the next town over, there's this long, long dead end,
street or whatever called sleepy hollow and that's like the neighborhood and i was like oh maybe that's why they got so into it because like the legend of sleepy hall or whatever yeah but like of course they you get full king size candy bars and like my friend jake used to treat it like disneyland fast fast like where he would be like i have our game plan and he would be running between the houses and would be like hey we're gonna skip this one and i'm like okay like he was so intense about it but like
Mats was like saying, um, about, and I asked him, I was like, was there anything like weird that you got?Like, did anyone ever give you like soda?And he was like, no, it was always just candy.
And it was one of, I have all those, these realizations all the time about like, wow, I lived in such a bubble and such like a, not only does everyone know everyone, you know, everyone's parents and everyone's grandparents, like everyone has lived.
It's, it's so old.Like you just know it all.I'm like, Oh, they would give like school supplies, cookies, baked goods, popcorn, ice cream.
it would homemade good like any of that stuff there used to be like you would walk into homes that they would have full haunted like haunted houses but also just like one guy was an artist and he would do this um like prisma glass when you would put on those like 3d he would do like a whole like show whatever and it would just be like kids walking through this
older single man's home.And like, it wasn't creepy or anything.But like, I was like, oh, wow.Yeah.It was never even like a, let me check your candy for razor blades.
It's like, they would also give like wine and beer to the parents or like edibles and like have a hit of a joint.And I was like, that's so different than most places I've now realized.
Like you do not, I mean, I would never give baked goods and I also would not eat baked goods from someone I didn't know.But like, I just realized, I'm like, oh, that is a very different circumstance.
The worst house to go to would be the dentist's house, because they would give away toothbrushes and floss and toothpaste.And I'm like, one, you got this for free, so you're not even getting any effort to this.
And then two, like, I love brushing my teeth.I love dental care, but like, Read the room.
And I would die if you gave, I would love if you gave me some floss along with a piece of candy.
Yeah, make it so here's some Laffy Taffy, so I'm gonna give you floss because they go together.
Mm-hmm, like peanut butter and jelly.That would just be so much better.But yeah, I always think of the people who they would give pencils or erasers or bobbing for apples.Was that a thing you did?
That was not a thing we did.
Because I thought it was disgusting.No, it is disgusting.It happened.I just refused to participate.
Yeah, but why was I voting for apples at a random neighbor's house?
No.There were homes where they would have it set up to do it, but I refuse.And I don't think my parents would have let me do it anyway.
No, and as they shouldn't, because that's fucking nasty.
Yeah.And I was like, I so disagree with you this week, Barbara.I was like, why are you fighting so hard for apples? I get you're like stuck in your ways, but this is disgusting.
And your makeup.I was waiting for the continuity on that.And I was like, there's no way she's gonna just go around for the rest of the episode with it.And she didn't.It was, I was like, this, we've cleaned it up.We've touched it up.
But yeah, it was just, I like, I'm trying to think of all these other things.
And then also, by the way, the literal day after Halloween, those neighbors with their fog machine and the fucking like adult woman who was like floating, the human, like this is not a prop.And she like had her whole like shtick or whatever.
And they had like a haunted grave, all of these things or whatever. 10 a.m.the next morning, all of it was gone.I was like... I respect that.Damn.Damn, you guys.Like, that was... It was fucking speedy.
And now I'm like, our neighbors that we're closest with, we were like, okay, we can't let this happen again.Like, we can't let them show us up like this.We have to be better.
I am the only one with Christmas decorations up so far yet, though.
Okay. It's going to turn into a thing where you try to top each other.They're going to start putting stuff out, and then you'll be like, ooh, we got to add this.
You got to go get those nutcrackers.Oh, the nutcrackers.
That's the thing, though, that we have such very different tastes that I'm mostly just judging when the parents only take their kids there.And I go, only there?But look how classy and tasteful mine is. I'm like, come on.
They're like their children.
They're like, they don't care about classy and tasteful.And I'm like, but all the parents who come, they go, this looks so nice.And I'm like, thank you.Thank you.
Oh, but then our neighbors who like all the kids were going there, they had, they're playing music and they switched from like monster mash to the frozen soundtrack.
And I was like, nah, I see what you guys are doing sneaky, but they're like, they're about to have a baby.Um, and I was like, Oh, they're good.They're getting that, that practice. which was sweet.
And now I'm like, I cannot fucking wait for them to have their baby.And I'm like, oh my God, a baby trick-or-treating at our house.
Yeah, but tell them not going to scam people with their nine-month-old.
No, but we'll give them candy.
They're also just our neighbors, so we'd give them candy anyway.That just pissed me off.You know, that's... Was she by herself?Yeah, she was just carrying the baby.It was her and the baby.I am all... What was that?
I don't know.Is that your mail?No, it sounded like somebody was tapping on the door.Yeah.In this room.
I'm terrified right now.Do you have your Amazon show?
Is that what it's called?But also, my alarm should be on.So if someone were to come on, come inside, then the alarm would go off.
Yeah, but I mean, I think it'll give you peace of mind to just see that. I didn't like that.
It was like this door, so I'm guessing it's not closed all the way, which I can see.It's the wind.Yes.
Yeah, the alarm's on.Yeah, you're fine.
But what I was going to say is that I'm not... The mailman did just leave, too.
What?I said the mailman did just leave, too, 30 seconds ago.
him putting something like whatever and then like the gust of wind happened at the same time.And so when that little flap was open.
Um. But like, so it's impossible for me to not talk to children, just like adults.Like, I just talk to, like, I talk, I talk to everybody the same.I talk to people I don't know, like we're friends, talk to people, like, I just, that's what I do.
And so ever since our nephew was little, like, I just would like narrate life to him.Like I'd be like, okay, let's go over here.And what are we doing here?Whatever.But like the idea of like,
me going trick-or-treating and with a nine-month-old who cannot respond and talk, I'm just giving myself a podcast episode that I am performing with that child, but no way would I would be asking other people for candy.
I was like, no, that's... I'm not pretending that this is like... that my kid is aware of what's happening. No, like it's our dance parties that we used when we had dance parties when he was a baby.Those were for me.You know, I was having fun.
But you're not including other people.
No, I wasn't like having other people participate in my delusion because I'm like, I get it if it's like you've got other people there and they're like, oh, let me take a picture.
Like we're like, you have no one to just be like, oh, my God, how crazy was that?
Right.The baby camera's on.You're using the fucking baby to get candy.Yeah. Was the baby dressed up like a pumpkin?There wasn't a pumpkin.I wasn't even looking that hard because she pissed me off.Yes.Was she wearing a costume?No.
No.I really love when the parents do costumes too.
At least give me some effort.You literally just get in candy.Yes.Part of me feels like she was just
walking by and was like oh there are lights on let me go use this baby to get some candy she said my blood sugar is a little bit low someone knocked on my door on halloween and was like hey sorry like
I'm hypoglycemic, can I describe?I'd be like, of course.Of course.
The delivery people that came with the food, I asked them if they want anything, but it's just the fact that you were trying to scam me.You premeditated with your baby.
And also, I know you say you don't remember the costume.I'm starting to think there wasn't even a costume.
There might not have been.You know, I can actually go back on my ring and look.
Oh my God, yeah.Let's see what that was.
Did you have your ring on for people when they came?
at first and then towards the end when we went back inside, but we were sitting there.
The reason I'm saying is because I changed the voice, so it was a witch.When you rang it, it changed because you can do that.It was like a witch thing when they rang the doorbell.
That's cute.I know our other neighbors, they have... there's like a Target doorbell that would be like, you just press, and it would be like, oh, like some like trick-or-treaty themed one that they got.Yeah.Trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble.Exactly.
People were asking if that was me.
I was like, no, but thank you for thinking that I could do that.Who said that?
They thought you were like coming over.
I was like, dang, live vocals.You're committed to the bit.I also heard it's like Australia is really trying to make Halloween happen for them. And I saw it all over Reddit of people buying candy and being like, this is what happened.
I was obviously very insecure when we weren't getting trick-or-treaters at first, and I was just looking all over online.So was I, because it was packed the last two Halloweens had been packed.
It was jarring.This is year three.And I was like, where is everybody?Because even before the, because they would come in groups too, because it'd be like, when the sun was just going down, it was like the little, little kids.
And then when the sun was down, it was like elementary school.And then when it was like, eight, nine, it was the high school students.And so I was, you know, expecting that.And I was just like, where are they?
No, we and we were like, we can't be too eager.We look fucking insane being like, we have children.We have candy for you.Like, come up to our home. And I like kept telling Matz, I was like, Matz, I feel like this, you're fucking this up for me.
Like I need you, cause he wanted to wear his costume, which was, he had a work Halloween thing and he found a cowboy hat in the office and he literally was like- He probably just looked like what he, when you guys go to Colorado, he wears a cowboy hat thing.
And you're on the fucking nose.Like he's literally just wearing his normal clothes.
and he has cowboy boots so he just put on his cowboy boots and he has the hat and he literally like was in the work group chat like fucking slack messages for like the week being like hey i found this hat does anyone know who this is and then being like okay does anyone know who this is following day hey everyone just reminder found this hat uh would like to wear it for a halloween thing is anyone claiming this and then finally he goes cool taking the hat if anyone wants it back let me know because now this is mine so it like lives at our house and so he has this like
He's got his feet with the cowboy boots up on our railing and the hat leaned down.I was like, you don't look welcoming.I need you to, we have to look friendly.And any time a kid walked by, he'd be like, shh, shh, shh.And I was like, why?
So it sounds like they're like, are these people gonna fucking scare us?But apparently someone at his work party was like, oh my God, are you Glenn Powell and Twisters?And I was like, oh God.And he was like, guess what they said?
And I was like, I don't wanna hear it.I can't.And he was like, I was feeling so cool.I was like, I know.I know you're feeling cool. That's his boy and that's your boy.
I put on just a Dodgers jersey that I got from a game when I went to a game and they were giving away free jerseys.I put that on some white pants instead of the Dodgers.
I put on my birthday tiara.Our nephew's birthday party is costume themed this weekend.
Yes.My niece is the same age as him.That is also her theme.
I feel like that's really me age, where I can finally start to really be into Halloween costumes and then be like, wait, I want more.
He had a costume for school and also he has Purim, which you have other costumes you do and that's not even in October.So I was like, you get more Halloween than most kids.But he wanted more costumes and so that's why it's a theme.
And I bet that is that age where you have more than one idea and you're excited about.
Because they're turning five, right?
Which is fucking insane.But I bought little deer ears, and then I'm just going to do a deer makeup kind of thing, and then just wear brown.
Little red dot.Are you going to be Rudolph?I probably won't be Rudolph.Prancer?Dancer?
No, also... I don't know how many kids there will know.Almost all of them are Jewish.They'll still celebrate Christmas, but not enough or old enough to know the reindeer names.Then Mons is also going to be a cowboy again.
I was like, maybe I could be a cowgirl, but I just think in light of current times, to have both of us dress up.
Unless you're going to do Barbie.
Yes, in cow, it just does not feel like the right time.
Yes, understood.This has been an extra long episode.You're welcome, everybody.Some distraction.Hope you enjoyed.Join us on Monday for But Am I Wrong?That'll be interesting.Tuesday for See You Next Tuesday.Haven't put up the votes yet.
Am I bad, everyone?No.America's bad.Thursday for Don't Blame Me, and then we'll be back here on Friday for Fisting Friday.
Just keep it simple.Just say, hey, we're the Brav Bros, two guys that talk about Bravo.Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, we're the Brav Bros.No.Wow.Dude, stop with the voice.Just keep it simple.I've seen promos on TV, dude.
This is how you get the fans engaged.This is how you get listeners.We're trying to get listeners here.If we just say, oh, we're two dudes that talk about Bravo, people are going to get tired of it already.We need some oomph.All right, then fine.
Let's try to do it with your voice.Brav Bros.Good job.
Contained herein are the heresies of Redolph Buntwine, erstwhile monk turned traveling medical investigator.
Join me as I study the secrets of the divine plagues and uncover the blasphemous truth that ours is not a loving God and we are not its favored children.The Heresies of Redolph Buntwine, wherever podcasts are available.
What if we could disagree in a way that encouraged empathy even during an election year?With a new episode of Thread the Needle, A Better Way to Disagree.I'm your host, Donna Schill-Dugan.
I use my background in journalism and draw from my life experiences to explore topics that matter to fellow feminists like you.In this episode, activist and professor Loretta Ross charges us to try her calling in technique.
I'm always going to hold people accountable for the harm that they do.The question is, am I going to do it with anger or am I going to do it with love and grace?
And I choose love and grace because it makes me feel better about myself when I walk through the world that way.
You can listen to Thread the Needle on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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