Explaining football to the friend who's just there for the nachos?Hard.Tailgating from home like a pro with snacks and drinks everyone will love?An easy win.
And with Instacart helping deliver the Snack Time MVPs to your door, you're ready for the game in as fast as 30 minutes. so you never miss a play or lose your seat on the couch or have to go head-to-head for the last chicken wing.
Shop Game Day faves on Instacart and enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three grocery orders.Offer valid for a limited time.Other fees and terms apply.
88% of the workweek is spent communicating, so it's important your team does it well.Enter Grammarly.Grammarly's AI helps teams communicate clearly the first time.
It shows you how to make words resonate with your audience, helps with brainstorming, and lets you instantly create and revise drafts in just one click.Join over 70,000 teams and 30 million people who use Grammarly to move work forward.
Go to grammarly.com slash enterprise to learn more.Grammarly, enterprise-ready AI.
Hello, and welcome to Forever 35, a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves.I'm Dori Schafrir.
And I'm Elyse Hugh, and we are two friends who like to talk a lot about serums.And we're still in anxious October.
We are still in anxious October.I just realized we're going to have to record some episodes that will come out post-election, but we will have to record them pre-election.
Yeah.Yeah.The world could really change.
The world could like fully change in many ways.
Our moods and our like general dispositions.
I know.I wonder what we should do about that.Well, we can, we can figure that out later.
We can figure it out.And listeners, we would love to know.You should absolutely reach out to let us know what you're doing to take it easy and stay calm and ease anxieties during these final couple of weeks before Election Day in the US.
We know we have a lot of global listeners, too, but obviously our election does affect other parts of the world.So yeah, just love to know how people are taking care of themselves because I feel like my sleep is more restless.I am more like testy.
I'm like my fuse is getting shorter.I just think like maybe I shouldn't be riding the polar coaster so much and
sensing all the vibe shifts, because I know the aggregate polls really haven't even changed that much since Pratt summer and the Kamala nominon of the summer, but suddenly there's all this like panicking and what Democratic consultants called bedwetting.
And it's affecting me because I'm sort of like, oh my gosh, This could be 2016 all over again.
Yeah, I mean, as we've discussed, I kind of ignore the polls.Like, I'm just trying to control what I can control.And they haven't changed that much.Yeah, and it's like, what does it change for me personally to be following the polls constantly?
I'm paying less attention, I think, just as a matter of self-preservation. But doing as much as I can civically, I went to a postcard party this weekend.How was it?We wrote 2,000 postcards to voters in swing states combined.
Yeah, it was fantastic.That is so many postcards.
Yeah, handwritten cards.My friend Caroline got everyone together.She and her friend Jenny hosted at their house up in Laurel Canyon.
And just a bunch of folks came through over the course of like two, three hours and Jenny baked all sorts of pumpkin flavored things, breads and coffee cakes and scones.I love this.Yeah, it was a cool party.
It was much different than my Friday night Bushwick style warehouse.
Yes, which if you are a Patreon member, you heard Elise's story on the casual chat of what her weekend was like, and it's a doozy.
It was a doozy because I'm too old for this stuff.I'm too old for it. But you know what I wasn't too old for was the postcarding.And so I am very grateful to folks who are organizing all over the country right now during this crucial period.
Yes.What else is happening with you, Elise?
Well, after our conversations recently, you know, and our, our intentions, I've been trying to get out there more in terms of just like exercising.So that's why my hair is wet for this recording, because I actually went on an extra run.
I've only been running about one time a week. But now I have upped that.I've doubled it.I'm doubling my runs and going to more mega-former classes.And I'm just trying to keep it even.And I think it's really helpful.
It's always a cure for depression and anxiety, a free one to do more exercise.Totally.And so if exercise isn't your demon.Yeah, yeah, yeah.So just I'm caveating that.But it tends to help for me to get out there and go for a long walk.
So I'm trying to do that.What else are you doing for care besides just avoiding the vagaries?Avoiding polls?Of the headlines, yes.
I mean, you know, just still playing tennis.Yeah.A lot of tennis.I told Matt on our On our Excellent Adventure podcast, I told him that I want to start a newsletter chronicling my tennis journey.He was like, will it make any money?
And I was like, probably not.
He's looking for revenue drivers only, Dora.
He's looking for revenue drivers, which, you know, He's not wrong.He's not wrong.No, that makes sense.
We do live in capitalism and have to survive.
Yeah, exactly.Exactly.It's like, what do I want to be?What do I what do I need to be spending my time on?
Well, that's actually a really good segue to today's guest, because it kind of asks the flip side of that question, which is what do we need to be spending our money on?Yeah.Do we need to spend our disposable income on?
Yes, great.Segue, Elise.I have been a fan of her and her writing for probably at least a decade, like probably longer.And I've just been so thrilled to like watch her career blossom.
And it seems like she's been able to work at publications that really just like give her free reign to go down the rabbit holes that she's interested in.
And the result is just like a lot of amazing articles about things that you're like, Oh, I didn't know I was interested in that.But like now I am. Yeah, yeah.
So we are talking about Amanda Moll.And if you are not familiar with her byline, you will get familiar very quickly after this episode, because she is probably one of the leading voices on consumer culture in America.
And the way she analyzes it, like Dory describes, is so insightful.She also writes about trends and things that are happening that we didn't know to think about.Yes.
We'll get into a lot of the things that she's written about, but just in terms of her bio, she's currently a senior reporter at Bloomberg covering the intersection of culture and commerce.
She's written previously for The Atlantic, New York Magazine, Rolling Stone, Vox, and Elle.At The Atlantic, Amanda covered health in the broadest possible sense of the word and wrote Material World, a regular column on American consumerism.
I just really enjoyed our conversation with her.And before we get to that conversation, just a reminder that we have new episodes of this podcast every Monday and Wednesday.Mondays are our interview episodes and Wednesdays are our mini episodes.
Those are on our main feed.And then we have our casual chats on Fridays on our Patreon.And on our Patreon, we also have monthly pop culture discussions.We have our Forever 35 questionnaire where we get to ask our guests a few extra questions.
We have discussions in the Patreon app and on our Discord.And, you know, it's just a good time. It's just a good time over there.You can also visit our website forever35podcast.com for links to everything we mentioned on the show.
Follow us on Instagram at forever35podcast.I forgot to mention the link to the Patreon is patreon.com slash forever35. We have a newsletter at forever35podcast.com slash newsletter.And we love, love, love to hear from you.
So you can call or text us at 781-591-0390.Some people put us in their contacts and our email is forever35podcast at gmail.com. And as we mentioned at the top of the show, the election is just a couple weeks away.We have our giving circle.
As part of the States Project, we are supporting state legislative races in Arizona.Please give if you are able.It really helps.We've had Melissa Walker from the States Project on the show now three or four times.
And she has told us very clearly how literally every dollar you donate to The States Project and our giving circle goes directly to help elect progressive candidates.It's not too late.It's not too late.It's not too late.So yeah.
So with all that being said, here is Amanda. Amanda, welcome to Forever 35.You've been on our list of guests we wanted to have on the show for a very long time, so we're really happy that you're here.
And as you may know, we like to start off by asking our guests if they have a self-care practice currently that they would like to share.And we're kind of like very broadly defining self-care.
It doesn't have to be a consumerist pursuit, though that is your beat, we realize.
That is my beat.And I really enjoy this app on my phone called Happy Color.
It is it is essentially a color by numbers app that has like a whole new set of pictures to fill in every day.
You don't have to like drag your finger across it to like color things in you just tap the areas that are numbered according to the number you have.
They have a bunch of like fine art photos or not or fine art pictures that are that are very very they have like tons and tons of these tiny little areas you have to find and fill in with the correct color.And it is, I find it totally engrossing.
I've gotten my best friend into it.I got my mother into it.It's, it's one of those things that like, has sort of slowly traveled through my family and social circle.And it's, it's super fun.I really love the fine art ones.
And now you're getting us into it.
This interview is already valuable.
Yes.Yeah, yeah.This is one of those things like I was never like a coloring books person.Like I had no patience or interest in that.But for some reason, this app really does it for me.Like it's there's like a nice like haptic feedback element to it.
It is.It is really, really engrossing.And it is great.I love it.
And it sounds so much more doable than the actual paint-by-number canvases that you can buy on Amazon or wherever.Because I had a girlfriend have one of those parties where it's like, oh, come on over and we'll sip and paint.
And we had to meet four times.Oh my god.
Yeah, like that that kind of stuff like God bless anybody who can who has the patience for it.But like I don't anywhere you have like two minutes.I have I have, you know, filled in a little bit of like a van Gogh.Oh, love it.
Well, this actually goes into one of the questions that we had for you, which is you always have an eye on what's happening in culture.So we want to know just first off what you're obsessed with lately.
What are some things that you can't stop thinking about or just are getting curious about?
Well, I, I go in sort of like fits and starts with certain things.
Like I for a while I was super into like figuring out what was happening with like Amazon and Taimou and Xi'an and like what sort of habits we had, you know, saddled ourselves with and how these sort of like foreign upstarts were changing them and threatening this sort of power center of American life, which is what Amazon is.
And for the past few months, I've been more on an in-person stores wave.I think that there's a lot of little signals happening that people want to go to stores and especially find good stores, interesting stores.
I think that that is probably a little bit of a reaction to how algorithmically curated and mediated everything is online.Whereas if you're in a store physically,
you sort of control a little bit of your own experience a little bit more, I think, and you and I think that the things that end up in stores, like physical stores tend to be more tend to have more mediation by a person on the sort of like seller side as well.
There is a little bit more of like an, you know, a level of taste required.Even even if it's like a big corporate store, I think that that in person, interactions with, with commerce are often more interesting as a result.
And, yeah, there's like, retail space is, is like at all time, not not necessarily all time vacancy lows, but it's like vacancies are very, very low, like so much that I read something about like Spirit Halloween was having a little bit of trouble finding appropriate, appropriate pop up spaces.
And, you know, there's like a lot of little signals out there to look at that. So, I have been thinking a lot about in-person stores recently.
So, we're just going to take a short break and we will be right back.
Explaining football to the friend who's just there for the nachos?Hard.Tailgating from home like a pro with snacks and drinks everyone will love?An easy win.
And with Instacart helping deliver the snack-time MVPs to your door, you're ready for the game in as fast as 30 minutes.So you never miss a play, or lose your seat on the couch, or have to go head-to-head for the last chicken wing.
Shop Game Day faves on Instacart and enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three grocery orders.Offer valid for a limited time.Other fees and terms apply.
Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds.At Mint Mobile, we like to do the opposite of what big wireless does.They charge you a lot, we charge you a little.
So naturally, when they announced they'd be raising their prices due to inflation, we decided to deflate our prices due to not hating you.That's right, we're cutting the price of Mint Unlimited from $30 a month to just $15 a month.
Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch.
$45 up from payment equivalent to $15 per month.New customers on first three month plan only.Taxes and fees extra.Speeds lower above 40 gigabytes.See details.
You should celebrate yourself every day, but some days you should celebrate with jewelry.
Whether you want to commemorate an unforgettable moment or just bring some added sparkle to your collection, Blue Nile can offer you expert guidance and a wide assortment of jewelry of the highest quality at the best price.
Go to BlueNile.com today and experience the ease and convenience of shopping Blue Nile, the original online jeweler since 1999.That's BlueNile.com.BlueNile.com.
Eighty-eight percent of the work week is spent communicating. so it's important your team does it well.Enter Grammarly.Grammarly's AI helps teams communicate clearly the first time.
It shows you how to make words resonate with your audience, helps with brainstorming, and lets you instantly create and revise drafts in just one click.Join over 70,000 teams and 30 million people who use Grammarly to move work forward.
Go to grammarly.com slash enterprise to learn more.Grammarly, enterprise-ready AI.
one of your paths to this beat was actually your own retail experience.Tell us a little bit about how this all got started.
Yeah, I think a lot of people like when they have like their first jobs as teenagers and 20 somethings are either retail or food service people.And you sort of like get on one track or the other.
And it sort of determines like what jobs you can get from there.So I was a retail person, I worked at the gap for a little while I worked at Best Buy for three years.And there's a lot of retail workers in my family.
I just found those jobs very interesting in ways that I think that they're not often given credit for, and that sort of stuck with me.
Yeah, I'm a GAP girlie, and then Dory was at Urban Outfitters.So we also come by this honestly.
I think I've been reading you since you wrote for Purseblog.
Yeah, yeah.I've been writing about shopping for a really long time in various ways.I started writing for Purseblog in, I guess, 2008, probably.Graduated college, kept working for them.Worked for them for 10 years.
Wrote like 5,000 blog posts, I think, literally.Wow. And so, but like this sort of generation of independent online media was coming up and I was very, very interested in fashion, but I didn't have any like traditional fashion credentials.
Like I had never had an internship.I had never, you know, I had been to New York like twice.And, but this was, it was like a way to get in there and write about something I was interested in and like really willing to learn about in depth.
but had no way to crack the traditional type of media.So yeah, I worked there for a very long time.
Your experience working at Purseblog, do you feel like it gave you, I don't know, more appreciation or more of an insight into the way that trends start?Because I feel like Purseblog felt like it was so interesting in that way.
You had people always talking about what the hot bags were for the season and it all felt very from the ground up, almost?
Yeah.In a weird way, I've always thought of purse blog as a trade.Yeah.But it was a consumer-focused trade instead of an industry-focused trade.Right.
And in the blog era, you had to have lots of stuff to say every day about sometimes a rather narrow topic.And the luxury accessories business is, I think, infinitely interesting.
But if you need to write three posts a day, you are going to start scraping the bottom of the barrel. like in between like seasons and releases and stuff like that, you really sort of have to dig for things to write about.
But that was like sort of a blessing for me, I think, in that, like, if you run out of all of the obvious stuff to write about, you have to get really, really good at looking at something that most people might not think is interesting and figuring out what is interesting about it.
or figuring out how to talk to people about it in a way that sort of surprises them.
You are talking to a field of people who are in some aspect of what you're writing about subject matter experts, because you're writing about something that they're obsessed with.
that they spend a lot of their free time thinking about and investing money into and in planning what they're going to do next.So if you are not on the ball, you're going to hear about it.It was stressful in that like, you better be right.
You, you, you better be right, you better be perceptive, you better have the details correct, you better not be telling people something that doesn't scan for them.And that will make you a very good trend reporter over time.
I was going to say, you are so great at your job because you are so perceptive and you write things that really do track.Once you observe something, I'm like, oh yeah, you're right.All the Airbnbs have gray floors and barn doors.
That's always the goal, is to name something that everybody has noticed but has not figured out how to talk about yet.
Right, but that's what I'm so curious about.How do you observe and see around corners?
I think one of the great gifts that the fashion industry gave me is an understanding of people's relationship to their money and people's relationship to spending money.
Because the fashion industry is like, in some ways, the most naked marketing exercise that you can imagine.It is a marketing business.
It is a products business, but it is so overwhelmingly about how people tell themselves stories about themselves, how brands tell you stories about the person you could be, how brands tell you stories about the things they make, and how people try to mediate their sense of self, their identities, their insecurities through the spending of money.
And once you understand how that works, I think that you can then take that and sweep any corner of culture that you are interested in.
And as long as you know the fundamentals of the players within it, and what motivates the people who are interested in it, then you can find stories.
Now, it's kind of second nature for me, because if you know the underlying concepts, if you know the underlying dynamics, then it is easy to apply those principles everywhere.A friend of mine jokes that I am a professional pattern noticer.
And that really is it.You start to look for repetitive behaviors.You start to look for things that used to be one way and that then are starting to change.It can be anything.You have to be genuinely really interested in the world around you.
and in humans as these endlessly fascinating, sensitive, perceptive beings.And once you are there, and once you're in that mindset, once that's how you interact with the world, I have
8,000 different Google Docs full of story ideas and things that I've noticed and things I want to look into further.I could write every day for the rest of my life and not run out.
I was going back through all your old stories in preparation for our interview and I was just like, Just banger after banger.So many iconic stories.Your sweaters are garbage.The Bama Rush story, but using it as a lens into how people shop.
All your stories about Amazon.All your stories about returns. your story about... It just went on and on.Yes, it's endlessly fascinating.I was like, oh my god, I've learned so much from her over the years.It's just crazy.
So I realize that asking you this question is sort of like, who's your favorite child?But what's your favorite story you've ever written?
I have an immediate answer for this.Amazing!I have a more serious set of answers that I can give you, but my immediate answer is, you remember when that boat got stuck in the sea?Yes!
I wrote a 1200 word thing at The Atlantic about why I was so enamored with that, why I loved the boat so much.And it was like, I think a good illustration of something I always trying to do with my work, which is get a couple jokes in there.
And have fun with a topic that ultimately what I want to say something about is like a larger thing.That article makes some jokes about my therapist and hangovers and all kinds of weird stuff.
But it is like fundamentally about when the consumer system becomes visible in ways that we're not supposed to see.
The pandemic did that a lot, right?Yeah.
Yes.A lot of work goes into making the infrastructure of global consumer trade not be visible to the people who see it because it's a lot easier to sell things to people if they don't have to think about them too hard.
And I thought that that was just a really dazzling example of that system going sideways a little bit in a way that stopped everybody and made billions of people sort of look
at how things move around the world and how fragile of a system that is and how far-flung the systems that supply our consumer whims actually are.So I am still just overjoyed with how that one came out.
We will link it to all y'all in our show notes for sure. Another larger idea we've been kind of batting around in our conversations is the internet kind of flattening culture.
And so as a trend watcher, as somebody who's paying attention to like a niche and individual preference and individual style, do you feel as though over time, regional differences, individual differences in tastes have gone away?
Yeah, I definitely think that the internet has flattened a lot of stuff like that.And you can see it in ways that are sort of measurable, too, that run sort of parallel to these types of regional differences and sort of variations across population.
We know that regional American accents are dying out, there is a sort of flattening and an accessibility of things across the normal divides that you would get.And I think some of that is good.
I think that the ability to be exposed to all kinds of different art and culture and aesthetic ideas and creative ideas without having to physically transport yourself, I think that's fantastic.
But it also does have this sort of flattening effect of if, you know, you're not just looking at the people who seem cool in your town or your state or your region, you are looking at like, a sort of like, globalized notion of what is cool.
And, and that has an effect of sort of like herding everybody toward a sort of median, version of cool or of edgy or whatever.I think it makes it a little bit harder for subcultures to flourish.
Because yeah, like the the because like dominant culture has always mined subcultures for things that it found valuable or exploitable or whatever.
But the amount of time from something being sort of subcultural to something being widespread is just really, really short.Something going from something a single person thought of,
um to being something that like marketers are using in while trying to sell smoothies or whatever like can can be like a couple of days now like it it is very very quick and i think that you sort of lose the opportunity for other creative people to like get to it first and like riff or improve it or remix it or do something interesting with it
in a way that creates a lot of genuine, interesting creative thought.It just goes directly to the marketers now, I think, in a lot of ways, which is why you get this sort of flattening.
Got it.Okay, let's take a break and we will be right back.
Let's talk about something that's not always top of mind, but still really important.Life insurance.Why?Because it offers financial protection for your loved ones and can help them pay for things like a mortgage, credit card debt.
It can even help fund an education. And guess what?Life insurance is probably a lot more affordable than you think.In fact, most people think life insurance is three times more expensive than it is.
So with State Farm life insurance, you can protect your loved ones without breaking the bank.Not sure where to start?State Farm has over 19,000 local agents that can help you choose an option to fit your needs and budget.
Get started today and contact a State Farm agent or go to statefarm.com.
88% of the workweek is spent communicating, typing, talking, and going back and forth on topics until everyone is on the same page.It's time for a change.It's time for Grammarly.
Grammarly's AI ensures your team gets the point across the first time, eliminating misunderstandings and streamlining collaboration.
It goes beyond basic grammar to help tailor writing to specific audiences, whether that means adding an executive summary, fine-tuning tone, or cutting out jargon in just one click.
Four out of five professionals say Grammarly's AI boosts buy-in and moves work forward.It integrates seamlessly with over 500,000 apps and websites, is implemented in days, and is IT-approved.
Join over 70,000 teams and 30 million people who trust Grammarly to elevate their communication.Visit grammarly.com slash enterprise to learn more.Grammarly, enterprise-ready AI.
you've written a lot about returns, the problem with returns, and kind of the related problems of overconsumption has been like a big theme in your work.And I'm wondering if you've noticed if anything is changing.Like, is it getting better?
Like, is it getting better?
Like, have we reached peak stuff?I know that you have asked that question.Yeah, I don't. I don't know that anything is getting better.I think there are like sort of rumblings of dissatisfaction in some areas of consumption from some groups of people.
But then you run into this like really basic problem of the beat that I cover, which is that there is a difference in what people say they want and then what their actions indicate that they want.
And like, and anybody who works in the consumer space, works in retail, works in marketing, covers it from a friendly or critical lens knows that like, the gulf between consumer sentiment and consumer consumer behavior is often enormous, often unbridgeable.
So you get a lot, which is why you get a lot of headlines about like, Gen Z hates wastes, Gen Z hates overconsumption, Gen Z this, that, the other.
And then you get like a lot of other headlines that are like, Gen Z loves Amazon, Gen Z can't get off of Shein.And like, those things are like contradictory.
They, they, you know, so publishing just like one or the other, you should ask, step back and ask yourself as a writer, like,
what else do I know about like, the people and actors and companies in this headline or in this story that should give me pause about this.
And so often it just it you it ends up being really difficult to reconcile what people say they want and what people suggest that they want through their behavior.
you should be you should believe behavior, honestly, especially when you have like that much like a population wide data set, which we have in a lot of ways for consumer behavior, because everybody buys stuff, everybody has to.
So it's good that people are upset about waste, but the I don't I don't know that we know that anything is changing.
Yeah, I mean, it was shocking to me.I watched that Brandy Hellville documentary on a plane, and I was so outraged that the company has yet to respond.Like, the company just got all this awful press.You know, they have a
The waste is crazy, like most fast fashion, but also their values are awful.They have this horribly misogynistic, racist, anti-Semitic group chat among all the executives, and I was just morally outraged.
And yet, to this day, the company's like, meh.I guess because consumer behavior hasn't changed.
Yeah, consumer behavior hasn't changed.
And I think that a lot of companies and a lot of brands and public figures and people, etc, have learned over the past, you know, 10 years, that like, post through it, like, to, to borrow a phrase from, from Twitter, basically, is just keep going, people will forget about it, people will, you
get distracted by something else people might not have cared to begin with.Like you can outlast a lot of outrage if you are a brand or company or whatever that is selling something that otherwise a lot of people like.
And I think a friend of mine, Lauren Sherman, who is also on the fashion beat, said something in an interview recently about this was about Victoria's Secret.She has a new book out.
And it was she said that she thinks that people overestimate how much consumers want to be want to associate themselves with like, brands with good values.
Like, it is overestimate.
Yeah, people overestimate.It is one of those gulfs between consumer sentiment and consumer behavior that I think is sort of unbridgeable.
Yes, it would be great if every company and brand and whatever that we interacted with reflected how we see the world and supported the values that we have.
But I don't think it's actually that salient to a lot of people when it comes down to if they're going to make a decision.If there is a product that they want that is
an awesome pair of jeans or a great handbag or, you know, something else, whatever else.
And the only thing wrong with it is that the company that makes it, you know, has a bunch of racist executives or a bunch of misogynist executives or a bad corporate culture or like doesn't treat his workers very well.
I think like 99 times out of 100, even if even if the person involved, like really, really believes in, in like, fighting back against those things.
Like if everything else is good about the product, I think they usually it, the values are not enough to stop them in most cases.
So if there is a way to act out our values, what is the better way to challenge the system?
You know, I don't know that that is sort of like the the fundamental question that like, I am, I think I am always sort of like working towards in like, whatever I'm writing about.
Because I sort of fundamentally don't know, like, I don't think that like, within consumer culture within like the consumer system, like there is like a way to align these things.I don't I don't think that there is like, the possibility of that.
I think that the system is fundamentally set up to create those contradictions and to then profit off of them.But I think that there are little ways.
The thing that I always recommend to people, basically, who are trying to get a handle on their own consumer behavior, whether that's for values-based reasons or budget-based reasons or whatever, is just to try to like, stop shopping, period.
And like, not necessarily forever, like, but just for like, give yourself a little bit of time to like, try to like, reset your habits.People buy a lot of things that they don't want or need.
Because we are in a system where there's like, very little friction. in purchases.
So if you can like make just buying things in general, besides the stuff like you actually need, like less convenient for yourself, like take the Amazon app off your phone, take the target app off your phone, like, like delete all those apps, take the credit card out of your browser settings out of
delete it from, you know, the places that you sort of, like, find yourself going to, like, mindlessly buy things, reintroducing some friction back into the process of buying things.
I think, you know, it isn't one of those things that, like, is going to lead you to, like, a more virtuous purchasing pattern, but you might just, like, purchase less stuff.
And I think that that is often the best way to, like, reset a habit or, like, better understand, like, why you're doing the things you're doing.Because, like,
if you can't understand your patterns and your habits, then it's very difficult to change them.If you have this misalignment between your values and your behavior, that is causing you stress.And it causes a lot of people stress.
People, I think, genuinely don't want to act in ways that are fundamentally contradictory to the things they believe about themselves.I think that is something that stresses people out, whether they realize it or not.
But there are not good alternatives. Trying to make just sort of like mindless purchasing a little bit less convenient.Convenience is a real double edged sword.It is great in a lot of parts of life.
It is, like, fundamentally counter to your best interest in other parts of life, I think.Trying to reset your behavior around like buying new versus buying secondhand. Yeah, can be useful.
I, I find myself buying fewer things that like, on a whim when I buy secondhand stuff.Yeah, it's the type of purchasing that requires a little bit more thought.
So introducing that friction into your habits, like it can't make you like a perfectly virtuous consumer, but like, I think it can work to like slow you down a little bit.And by virtue of slowing you down, I think that sort of like shakes out
some of our worst decision-making tendencies.
Okay, before we let you go, Amanda, we always end our show with intentions, and so I'd love to know your wishes for either pitches that you have yet to write about, so like the pitch that you keep pitching but editors won't okay, or
a subculture or trends that you wish would come back.So what are your kind of wishes for the consumer culture sphere, whether it's something you want to write about, curiosities, or like a period you wish would come back and the trends from that?
Because once you say it on the mic, you're putting it out there.
Yeah.And I'm afraid to reveal any desired pitches because I have a list of stuff that I have to do before I can do anything that isn't already approved.And I don't want somebody to get to something good before I do.Yeah, that makes sense.
If they get to it of their own ideas, I am happy for them, but I'm not.No free ideas.No free ideas.Yeah. Let's see.
But you're a millennial girly, right?Uh-huh.
Are there certain millennial turn-of-the-century trends you wish would come back?
I've been thinking about how I have this giant slouchy bag that I bought from Burberry because I had some journalism award money one time, and it went out of fashion very quickly.But I'd love for that to come back so I can carry it again.
Yeah.Was it a hobo by any chance?Yes.It was a big I have great news for you.It's it's now it's back.
Oh, yes, God.Yeah, I gotta go find it somewhere in one of my bins.
Yeah, yeah, I have been I have been looking for like the the big suede hobo of my life.Okay, in the past few weeks, like, like, you're you're exactly there.Yeah, it's it's sort of hard to come up with anything because I
I feel like the past has been so thoroughly mined.I was in college in the mid to late 2000s at a big state school in the South.It has just been endlessly funny to me in a warm way.I don't think that the kids are idiots or anything.I think that
we looked great and all that stuff, too.And now all the college kids are dressing like I did in college, which is hilarious to me.The little flounce skirts, the tube tops, stuff like that, the mid-2000s trends are very big with the kids now.
So even my own style history has been just so thoroughly mined already that it's sort of difficult to think of
a trend that I genuinely miss that hasn't come back and I think that like it's the sort of like weird like pastiche that that is like the trend landscape right now is kind of nice because you can sort of wear whatever it is that you want without feeling like particularly weird about it like you you know you and if anybody questions you just tell them it's coming back like and they probably believe you because
Yeah, I'm really, really trying to think of something.No, that's great.
We'll just go around wearing whatever we want, because you told us we could, and you are the ultimate cultural and trend observer, and we're just going to be like, it's coming back.
Yeah, you know, I think that something I learned over my time in the fashion industry is that fashion people are, in aggregate, probably the least judgmental people about what other people wear.
Because at a certain point, you understand that everybody's trying something, and you know, fashion is not for everybody following trends is not for everybody.
Not everybody has to wear the same thing or, or, you know, discard the same garments at the same time.It's people who are really insecure about their own sense of style and their own sense of what they like to wear that are like,
extremely upset by other people in what they wear.So take this as permission.Wear whatever makes you feel comfortable.Wear whatever you feel hot in.And if you're not interested in feeling hot, wear whatever you feel comfortable in.
The best thing you can do for yourself is just develop some taste and stick with it.
All right.Amanda Mole.I love that.Thank you so much.
Of course.Thanks. It was so great to get to talk to Amanda.She is just like one of those people who I wish we were friends, IRL.She lives in New York.
Also, we could have kept going.I feel like we could have been twice as long.
I completely agree because there were like so many, like I wanted to ask her about individual articles of hers and like go deep.And I was like, this is getting like real.This could get real in the weeds.Um, but no, she was, She was amazing.
So I'm really glad, really glad we got a chance to talk to her.So let's get into the intention zone.Elise, last week, you talked about stillness and a movie.How did that go for you?
I did stillness pretty well on Sunday.I had a very still Sunday.I didn't have any kid obligations.I had deep cleaners come to my home and it just felt so satisfying. I left for a while.I read a book.It was great.
I did still miss pretty well, but I wanted to go see a movie in the theaters because I used to spend every weekend doing that.I was thinking in middle school and high school, for example.That's what we did socially.
We'd go see a movie and it just doesn't happen anymore.I really wanted to do that and I wanted to see my old ass and I still haven't seen it.
I'd like to change my intention this week, but bearing in mind that I still need to get to that particular movie.But my intention this week, after being inspired by all the handwriting I did,
uh while postcarding was to actually write some like do some journaling in longhand because I haven't actually written like with a pen or pencil in a while. I used to really enjoy that.
And so maybe I'll do like morning pages or something just in longhand or write some notes or just just journal in general.
I mean, I love a longhand journal.I love a morning page.I never do it, but I but I love a morning page.Yeah, I do still do my one line a day journal and I'm actually getting to the end of it.Wow.
I've been doing it for five years, which means I need to buy another volume, which is crazy. That's awesome.That's awesome.Good for you.
Thank you.What about you?You had Yom Kippur.
So last week I talked about Yom Kippur and I think I mentioned how like
But the holiday, the Jewish holiday season is like sometimes a little triggering for me because I, every year I'm like, oh, I don't, I feel like I don't really have like a Jewish community here.I don't have family here.
I didn't get in, like no one invited me to break fast.And I, yes, I could have hosted a break fast, but like my house is just so chaotic and like, it's just not, it's not host ready.And so then that gets me depressed and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
So I was like, okay, I'm just going to try to like do Yom Kippur and reflect and whatever.So I did join a synagogue recently, which is big.So I feel like that's going to hopefully kind of like get me more aligned.
they had, they had childcare and a family service for kids.So good.Yeah.So after Rosh Hashanah, they had handed out popsicles, like as we were leaving, cause it was so hot.
And I got in Matt and Henry picked me up and I got in the car with a popsicle and Henry was like, they give out popsicles.I was like, Yeah.And he was like, I'm religious now.Yeah, exactly.He was like, okay.
So then on Yom Kippur, and he hadn't come on Rosh Hashanah, couldn't get him to come.On Yom Kippur, he was like, well, are they going to give out popsicles?I was like, probably not.But like, because adults don't eat on Yom Kippur.
But I know for the kids, like they put on the schedule that there was going to be snack and lunch.And he was like, Okay, well, I want to go to temple.And I was like, Oh,
Okay, so Matt got him like dressed up, quote-unquote, which just he put on like a little collared shirt.I love little boy period, yes.And he just looked so cute and he was so like proud.It was cute.He was like proud of himself for being dressed up.
So first we went to the family service, which was like half an hour and he was sort of like restless and like whiny and was like, how long is this?And you know, not like super into it.
And then I like found his group for childcare and I was like, okay, bye.Just like left him and went downstairs to the adult service.And I was like, okay, how is this going to go?Like, right, right.
And I had shown him where I was going to be sitting in the sanctuary.So I was like, if he absolutely needs to, he can come find me.And he didn't come find me.And so then like three hours later, I go to get him.And I'm just like... Three hours?Yes.
I'm like, what is this?What is this scene going to be?
and I go to the classroom like where the kindergarten kids are and he's just sitting there like holding court basically like running a go fish tournament with like three other five-year-olds like tell like and I'm just like oh and he like and I walk in the door and I had been expecting he was gonna like run up to me and be like I'm ready to go you know and instead he just like glanced up almost like like uh like my mom's here like
So good.And I had to wait for him to finish.Oh my gosh.And then he was like, he goes, I love Temple.When are we going back?This is great.I was like, okay.Like they nailed it, you know?
Whatever they did, they nailed it.He's going to be like the most popular kid at Hebrew school.It'll be awesome.Well, I have made the choice.I mean, this is getting like a little in the weeds.
But I made the choice not to do Hebrew school this year because I was like, it's kindergarten.It's so much transition.Putting him in a whole other school for three hours every weekend felt like a lot.
But I feel like now for next year, he's ready to go.So that's my story.
So that sounds like an awesome, yeah, you lived out your intention, great.
I did.This week, okay, so this week I need to just like schedule my days a little bit better.And yeah, so I'm just gonna try to come up with a schedule.
I've like had to do this in the past and it's been fine, but I kind of fell off the wagon, so I'm gonna do that.
All right.Maybe you can do it longhand.
Maybe.We can combine our intentions.Oh, my gosh.That would be amazing.Combo.All right.Well, Elyse, this was great.Thanks, everyone, for listening.
Forever 35 is hosted and produced by me, Dorisha Freer, and Elyse Hugh, and produced and edited by Sam Junio.Sammy Reed is our project manager and our network partner is Acast.Thanks, everyone.
Sign in
