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You know what really fucked me up?The Sandlot forever scene.Forever.At what age? Too old, like 12.I think I like pissed my pants once at a friend's house.Oh no.It's so scary.
It's like the most harmless goober in the world saying forever.I guess it's a big scary dog if you don't like big scary dogs.
Listen, you don't get to choose what frightens you.Have we seen Pingu in this house?Oh my God.
Hey everybody.Welcome back to Ale and Well Met, a 27 Tavern podcast.It's me, our Alex Murray again.Maddie, give us an intro song.
It's Aileen, well met.The 20-sided podcast, we're talking like friends.Don't get your pods capped.
Don't get your pods capped.
Shuba-do-do-do-do-do, Nat 20.
nice thank you that's good will champion what's up say hello to the people hi what's up hello to the people you guys know will and maddie and me and we're back and we're talking about shit but also will just said something incredible which is you don't get to choose what scares you say more please well that's i was providing my own you know tempered example pingu it's a a a
Doesn't he like teach you math and shit?No, he mostly just like fucks up his parents' lives.
Also, like his mouth is scary.I remember that.Yeah.He'd go like.
He makes really funky expressions.And then they had one episode.I will never forget where I was when I saw it.He has a nightmare sequence about a large walrus that breaks through the ice.And it's a walrus with human teeth.
And it's the single scariest thing I have yet to lay eyes on.
I heard Justin Long starred in that.Yeah.
Do you know about the movie?
I don't understand the joke.
Justin Long is in a horror movie called The Walrus.Tusk.
Yeah, it's a Kevin Smith joint.There we go.
You know what else really scared the shit out of me and I still don't think I've ever recovered?The whale from Pinocchio.
Oh my God!Well, that's supposed to be scary.I mean, he's supposed to be scary.Like he's like, I mean, he like represents, he's like an archetype for like the thing that will come and kill you if you don't obey your father.The great boogeyman.
Yeah, dude.He's goddamn Jonah and the whale and all this nonsense.
But to this day, precursor to me seeing Jaws is I think the reason why I am scared of the ocean.I'm just like, big ass whale.Big ass whale.
Jaws did it.Jaws messed me up butt good.Butt good?Butt good.It messed my butt up and it messed my the back of my knees.It's bad.
I mean like my butthole clenches every time even my tootsies get in the ocean for a minute and I have to like talk myself through it and I have to look at it and I have to cuss out beside him for a minute.
Poseidon, I don't respect you, you're a bitch.You can release all the Kraken's on me you want, I'll fight you.
And then I'll go in there.
That's traditionally a bad idea, doing that.
I'm glad that you addressing your fears as you actually trying to infuriate a god.Like, this is the most, this is some masculine ass shit, where I just go like, I'm gonna touch the Wawi.Except I don't fuck, I don't jump in swimming pools alone.
Because what if the secret door opens and the shark's coming?
Yes, because what if the vent at the bottom of the pool opens and there is a snake in there?100% anaconda ruined pools for me.And I just, anytime people are like, hey Maddie, you want to go swimming?
I was like, not really, but if I have to, I'm never ever swimming alone.Are you kidding?I sink like a fucking stone.
That's anti Murphy matter right there.
I've learned something new today.You should probably stay away from Final Destination 3.There's a whole pool sequence that involves the vent at the bottom of the pool.
I'll only watch Penultimate Destination.
Have you seen Carrie 2?This is a very good spooky season episode.Have you seen Carrie 2, The Reckoning? It is so bad.It's like a early aughts.It was I think Devon Sawa was like, I don't even think he was making a comeback.
He was just in it as the like, as the like, evil jock, right?So like, he was just like, evil jock.And it was one of the London twins was like, the like, love interest or whatever that like, so it was Carrie's granddaughter.
same madness is in her, but it's like 2004 ass and like literally the same plot and they like, they set her up to be popular and then they mess with her and at a like, high school graduation party, big party, instead of like, instead of prom, it's at like the party, she gets nuts.
And she decapitates some people with some CDs.Okay, I like that.
That is a good early 2000s weapon.
It's very good.And then... Spoilers for Kari 2 The Reckoning.Yeah.Oh, man, the whole like, There is 60 minutes of movie that who cares about and then 30 minutes of carnage at the end to make it worth it.
She also kills somebody with a fire poker, like levitates a fire poker through somebody.And then she shoots Steve Onsawa's nads off with a spear gun.Where did she get a spear gun?All rich people have spear guns in their
This is another reason to fear the ocean.
Because of the millionaires that sail upon it?
Yeah, that sail upon it.You must fear the ocean, always.
She shoots Devon's nuts off and he falls in the pool and he's trying to get out of the pool and then she telekinetically closes the pool, like, over him.
Like I did to my Sims once upon a time.
Yes!Yes, I just take the ladder out.Or have them light fireworks inside.
They can't get off?No, they get exhausted.There's a way you can have children with the Grim Reaper in one of the games, and that's a great way to bait it into happening.
But by doing that, you're essentially becoming the entity that haunts Hill House, right?You become the problem there.
Sure. Once I stopped- Once I used all the cheat codes and finished decorating the room, I was functionally done with that family.They were- I was done with them.
I don't need anything from you anymore.
Maybe- Starve you aesthetically used up husks.
No, and then I- And then I tried to be humane by killing them as quickly as possible.
No starvation or sleep deprivation.Just hop in the pool and uh-oh, the ladder went away.I am drowning.
You don't need the kittens anymore.If you don't have- Just put them in a pillowcase with a bunch of rocks.
If you don't have the physical strength to hoist yourself out of a pool without a ladder- I shouldn't be here.You shouldn't be here.
Are we the whale in this case?
Maybe.Are we the whale? No, I think you're the angry God who sends the whale for the Sims.
Yeah.I mean, that's what Sims is all about, right?It's just essentially you being like, yeah, hold your piss, you slave.
I feel like at this point, Sims, somebody tell me, can you just have a whale now in Sims?I feel like that's a thing.
You should, if you can't.Somebody's modded it and I'm sure if they haven't officially programmed it.Sims under the sea.
You know what's another, I finally just remembered the other thing that still makes me do a jump scare.You're talking about Carrie 2.You're talking about, I haven't seen Carrie 1 and won't because I am a wimp.
There are certain movies that I've forced myself to watch because I think it's important.It's not that bad.Like The Shining.
That's me the whole time, just screaming Kubrick.But I just like- Stanley!Stanley!Stanley!At any good scene, I just scream Stanley.But Hocus Pocus, when they're back at the house- Okay, this is not where I thought this was gonna go.
Hocus Pocus, when they're back at the house, they're like, we did it.And he thinks his sister's in bed and he pulls back the cover.And I think Sarah Jessica Parker or Bette Midler, one of them sits up and goes like,
And that that room is fully lit.There's like nice music being played and I'm still like, I'm gonna I'm a sucker for jump scares.
You know, it gets you know, it kills me the same way.Every So bad.Every time Marlon turns around and finding Nemo and Bruce, the shark is right there.Oh, sure.Just that jump scare.
It just like I know it's coming, but my balls jump all the way up into my throat every time.I'm just like, Oh, big shark.Maybe that's the jaws.
Again, it all comes back to the ocean.
Yeah, it does.Terrifying down there.
Well, what's the scariest thing you've seen?
What scares Will Champion?Scariest thing?I'm trying to think.This is such A cliche answer, but I remember my high school buddy, Calvin, and I, there was one night we were like, you know what we're gonna do?It's the very beginning of Netflix, right?
Netflix had just started to move away from the DVD and there was like a digital client.We're gonna find Hobbes and we're gonna go down a hill in, okay, I'm sorry. I can go.We decided we were gonna watch The Exorcist for the first time.
And it was in my relatively well-lit living room in suburban Massachusetts, but in the dead of night.And that scared the living shite out of me.
I remember we were sort of right in the back end of the film, in the heart of the actual exorcism, and my mother comes home, keys jangling in the door, and the pair of us about levitated, just left our bodies behind.
I have, I went on the Wikipedia page to read about the plot of The Exorcist and couldn't sleep that night.This is what I do when I want to be a part of conversations.I'll read, like I did, I also did it.
I'm with you.You fucking Sparknotes-ing spooky season.
I also recently did it with Hereditary at 2 p.m.in the afternoon and guess what?At about 11 p.m.that night I start going, and I did not fall asleep until 3 a.m.over a movie I have not actually seen.
That's the movie that from before you watch it to after you watch it something changes.Henceforth no longer can you hear and be okay.And for those of you listening who have seen the movie you know what I'm talking about.
There's tons of you know shh shh shh.
Oh, it's great.And it's amazing.But like, there's a, you've seen, was it The Others with Nicole Kidman?And like, she's possessed and stuff.It's Time is on Your Side by The Rolling Stones, features prominently.
And that was one of those where like, it messed us up.And then, I don't know, we were sneaking into, I grew up in a world where I could like sneak, I could go to my friend's houses and like,
stand under their windows and make noise and shit at them, just like on a Tuesday night because the suburbs, right?Like you could just do that.You could just drive over to your buddy Jeff's house and get under his like window at like 11 p.m.
and be like, just like wait for him to freak out.
We would we would ghost ride the whip.
I'm sorry.Run it back.Do you not know what that is?You don't know what Ghost Riding the Whip is?What a time stamp.
I cannot.I can also.Have you actually done it?Yes.Because we were bored and in the Illinois suburbs.So it would be 10 o'clock at night.
Twin Sided Tavern does not endorse Ghost Riding the Whip.
Do not endorse Ghost Riding the Whip.It also sounds scary.It's not.So here we are in my good friends, 1996 Buick.So it's basically a pontoon.It is a boat.And I live, my mom still does, lives near a forest preserve.
So you drive a mile and you're by the forest preserve, there's very few cars, whole thing, and we thought we were cool, and again, bored.
And ghost riding the whip is when you take the car, it's in drive, you all open, you blast music, in our case, Lady Gaga, Poker Face,
I'm again dating myself, you blast the music and all of you get out of the car and dance alongside it as it's idling down the street.If you're really brave, one of you will hop on the hood of the car and continue and then you eventually
And then we drive to Wendy's and buy a single Frosty because that's all we can afford.And that is Friday night.
Oh God, the visceral memory I just had of like everybody like reaching into their pockets for change so we can get a Frosty and a dollar fry.
It was a rap song, wasn't it?
It had to be.But but my 16 year old ass in a giant Buick that has a turn radius of about 80,000 degrees is truly just and I just imagine like the nice lady who loves living by the forest.
For like six months, she was like, God damn it, they just stopped planking on everything.
God, and this was my phase when I would straighten my hair and had a middle part and definitely tried to wear Lacoste polos.Just a disaster.
Through and through.Backpack girl.
So that's ghostwriting the whip, William.
I've learned something today, certainly.Nope, nope, too many questions, too little time.
Wait, can I bring it back to the spooky, scary, spookies?Okay, because this came up at yesterday's show, actually, it was ghosts.And I wanna know.
Do you guys believe in ghosts?Is that where we're at?
Belief in ghosts, but also have you ever had an unexplainable encounter?
Big time.I want it too bad.This is my problem is that like I know they're out there and I'm aware and like there's interaction sometimes but like those fuckers know that I want it too bad.
I'm never getting the full corporeal anything because they're like nah dude you're too thirsty for it you bitch.
and I'm desperate.Will and I were talking last night, because I'm like, I don't want to believe in ghosts.
I think that the concept of a disturbed spirit that cannot attain peace, that is living in some paradoxical... That's not what I think that they are, but we could get into that if we want.
We could, but I would like, what is your unexplainable experience?
I mean, I have too many to sit with right now because this is, I'm becoming more public about this, but this is something that I've been going through since I was eight.
There was an incident that happened on a long drive home in the north of England that changed my perception of things.And I have had a number of encounters since then.
But the easiest one to talk about here on the podcast is the big one during college.
I went to college in upstate New York, long sloping hill, big road that ran out, some very sort of suburbans at a road, and there was this branching avenue off the side of the road, I can't remember for the life of me what it was called, but where these two roads diverged.
Scary fucking ghost avenue.Essentially, yeah, spoopy, spoopy lane.There was a big red house with a lamppost right out front by it's sort of traditional white picket fence.
I'm already out, you've already lost me.I'm reading the Wikipedia page about this.
It's so dark in upstate New York in the winter and so bitingly cold that even on this very well-traveled sort of party street, it can get eerily quiet and heavy.People from cities do not understand.
This is my wife who was born, like grew up in Philadelphia and lives in New York now.Like when we're at home in my parents' fucking cul-de-sac, she'll be outside and she'll be like, why is it so quiet?
That's the way the world is.I was like, babe, this is not scary quiet.You'll know scary quiet.Scary quiet.
scary it is it gets dark and you go if i don't have light i am this is the end well and if you without electricity i am
if like an actual predator shows up or something too, like if there's an owl around or a dog and you feel everything go, so bad.
So that's probably about to happen to you.So yeah, well, this one, this red house had this sort of like lamppost on its property and that bright light was the main light for this corner of the road.
However, I don't know whether that was the beacon for this guy or whatnot, but what became clear to me
I thought I was dealing with a very belligerent neighbor because I live just sort of across the street from this house and this guy would stand by the light and fucking yell at me for getting too close to the house at night.
He would yell and yell and yell.He's like, get back over the gate on the other side of the room.
And it wasn't until later in the year, because I lived in this house for just over two years, that I saw another family fully moving into the house and then kept seeing that guy at the light, kept hearing him yell at me, when I realized that I don't think he knew that this wasn't his house, his street, or his place anymore.
And I would just remember this family had two young kids that I would always see playing in the driveway right next to this lamppost. And I always wondered if they had felt anything, if they were feeling scared.
They didn't seem it, but this guy didn't like people in his house, didn't like people near his house.And by the time I left college, he was still there.Maybe he was okay with them.
So I had two ghost encounters that I can't explain.One, my sister was present for.And so real quick, there's so there's this concept of orbs, ghost orbs.So once my sister and I, we grew up, we never moved.My mom still lives in that same house.
But hold on, hit us with the concept a little bit for a second first, in case people listening aren't spooky assholes.
Again, and this is also me, who's purposely not done a lot of research into them, because again, I am trying to remain in abject denial.
Ghost orbs, there's a concept that they can come in different, they are functionally these roving orbs of light, and they can be different colors, and there's different theories about what the colors mean, but they're spectral forces, they're forms, they're ghostly.
Well, in my experience, they have velocity, momentum, and weight.And we were in the house that my mom still lives in, I still go there, and there has always been an addition to the house that was spooky.Partly because it's just not lit.
Like when the lights go down, it doesn't have ceiling lamps.And we would always, as kids, the last one upstairs has to lock up and turn off all the lights.And sprint up the stairs.And the study was always the worst.
Always, the study that my mom works in.
And Allie and I are sitting in our living room, which is adjacent to the study, like we always do every night, and we're just minding our own business, and the TV is right in front of me, and I'll never forget, in my peripheral vision, I see a black undulating orb of light zip out of my mom's study and kind of just out of the corner of my eye.
It's in the corner. And all of a sudden, it shoots past my face.I'm sitting in a chair, there's a plant next to me.That plant, I feel the wind pass my face, I feel the plant rattle.It just misses me and it zips out the room.
And I remember holding stock still, I'm not breathing, and in that moment my brain is like, it was the cat.The cat just jumped at laser speed past my face and hit the plant, that's what it does.And then I like,
like a wooden doll, creak my head towards my sister and see that he is equally open-eyed.And she just goes, did you just see a black orb of light?And I go, I saw a black orb of light.We go, this is, we have our flip phones.My mom is out somewhere.
So we call my dad and we're like, dad, you got, and he's like, what do you mean?And we're like, there's an orb of light.So that's one that,
which part of fucking haunted orb you not understand dad and to this day we both saw and experienced the same thing uh my other one again in the study was it was that night that i was going to lock up everything i'm the last one in the house you got to turn off the damn
that stupid lamp that's deep in the study, and once you turn it off, you're in complete darkness, and you need to go.
And I do that, and I'm trying to be brave, because I'm like, Maddie, you're 17, you're 17, you're a woman now, you just waltzed out the study, and the house I've grown up in my whole life, and I'm about to step out of the study, and it's like somebody is holding a radio next to my ear, static, and they're turning the channel, and it is loud as can be.
Someone is holding a radio to my ear, static, channel-changing voices. And I, again, go, okay, maybe I left a window open and there is a car outside of the house.Maybe that's it at the stop sign.
And I glance out the window, windows are closed, there is no car.And I'm hearing the static get closer to me.And again, I bolt.To this day still can't, but I do not go in that room in my mom's house at night.
Once she told me to sleep in there and I absolutely did not.
On the sofa, bye-bye. Hi, folks.Let me see if I can sum up Midnight Burger in about 25 seconds.
Pardon me, Gloria.Might my husband and I have a word?
The radio is talking to me.So this is how it ends.Eaten by wolves in space.
There's a pocket dimension in the deep freeze.
This is the stupidest dystopia we've ever been to.What the hell is that?
Because you're having a cigarette in 415 million BC.
Can you narrow that down?
Ava.Yeah, that didn't work at all.At the nexus of all things, there is a diner.Look for Midnight Burger on your favorite podcasting app or just go to weopenatsix.com.
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She is old, and she's a benevolent house.We grew up in there, it was great, but there's been, my sister also had a different encounter when she purchased some stuff in the house.
It doesn't sound like those orbs were messing with you guys.They're just around, and you don't wanna mess with it.
See, this is my problem, is my ass would be in there with fucking candles, and I would be like, I wanna talk to it, let's be friends, dude.
Here's what it is, my mom's basement is also unfinished.The staircase that leads down to it is the temporary staircase that is so not up to code.
But it's like, you go down there, and there is definitely a sense of, things, this house has been here a long time.
Sure, yeah.Well, that's the, so like, I used to have to close my bar that I worked at till 2020, when I was 30, however many years old, six, seven. I would have to close.It was just just me by myself.
And but it's like it's like being in a church or a theater by yourself late at night.It's just scary when there's been that much energy in there, like especially that much energy all day.
And like you're just in a place where like people people are have heightened emotions all the time and are going through big stuff and like that leaves stuff.
And man, I mean, every time I would like turn off everything, turn off the last lights and man, the like negative space behind you, right?
I would turn off the last, this bar was like a garage, so there was like a tunnel, and then a courtyard, and then like a open garage thing.
I'm in the Wikipedia page, I'm gone.
But like, you get all the way out, and there was a light switch right next to the door all the way at the front, right?But like, I would like, every night I would go like, okay, here we go, here we go, here we go, here we go.
Light off, outside the door, slam the shut, lock the door, pull down the thing, and like pull my back against it and be like. And every once in a while I'd be like, uh, Alex, you left like three candles burning.And I'd be like, I don't think I did.
But like, yeah, just running away.
Here's what it is.Did you also think, I thought that there would be a time between teenagehood and adulthood that I would stop being so scared.It gets worse.
Cause you keep seeing shit.You're like the old ass house.I'm also collecting weird fucking energy all the time.
And now I'm all the more aware of all the things I don't wanna lose, but I thought there would be a time where I wouldn't be afraid of the dark, that I'd be like, nope, this is fine, la la la, and it's like absolutely not.
No, we got the internet, I know what happens in the dark now.
The curved, irregular stairs that lead from the basement will forever be scary.Always.That's just the way that it is.Always.Because they're curved and irregular.
Yeah, and the only light switch to turn the lights off, inexplicably, is at the fucking bottom of the stairs.
At the bottom. Yeah, it's because Herbert Hoover, like in the 50s, told everybody that we need to scare the shit out of everybody forever or whatever, and we were only putting light switches in the bottom of the stairs.Unacceptable.
You know, it's also the weird moment of adulthood.So I have nieces and a nephew who are little, and I have had to learn to be like, oh, sometimes you got to be the brave adult, even though you truly are scared.
Case in point though, and it's things like, oh, you gotta be brave and teach them certainly life lessons short.No, I'm talking about the simple, I'm still scared of the dark, but my nephew who sleepwalks, you'll wake up and he'll be standing six.
And be standing over your bed.
I'll punch my six year old nephew in the face.
I almost did, but he's sleeping and a child, so I have to be like.
My I love you so much But I truly was like this is the creepiest thing in the world and I will drop kick you and that happened once I was babysitting overnight and I had and I woke up and he's there and I'm like And then I have to be calm through this dark house back to his scary
Come on, buddy.There's something that happens when you're like you all of a sudden you're like on a mission, right?You're the dad in the quiet place and you're like, this is scary.But like I'm locked in.
I have to go.Somebody's got to go on.Not me.Not Hermione.You're like, OK, I can't be scared.I have to go fight Voldemort or whoever.
Yeah, or it's better yet, it's like, I am so scared, I still have to guide this child I love more than anything back to bed, even though if it were anyone else, I would dropkick them and defenestrate myself.
The only all-purpose exit route is throwing yourself out of a window.
Just chuck myself out of a window.Self-defenestration.
don't give a fuck if it's the orb and i'm leaving oh no gotta get out of there dude yeah i mean i feel like there's just too many stories for too many years that match up the exact same details from everybody else's stories for all time you want to call that collective hallucination sure but like
The fact that you can go somewhere and look up ghost orbs and have essentially your own experience shared with you and your sister described back to you from like god knows how many other sources you have to put some kind of weight in that.
I mean, do you know what a tulpa is?
Tulpa is that like a physical manifestation of a demon that is like brought about by enough people believing in something.Yeah.
There are people that are like, there are a lot of people that it is a school of thought that thinks that this is what cryptids are. that we believed in them long enough that they manifested.
Well, I'll tell you that, I think I've said this to you guys before, but the only way I have ever been able to find my own sort of solitude in dealing with these experiences over the years is saying, okay, the things that I believe will help me and protect me in these situations, if I truly believe they will, they end up having an effect.
I mean, you go like, all right, it's my thing with like Poseidon.I'm like, all right. If that's it, if all I gotta do is be like, hey guy, I'm coming in here, don't worry about it.
It's just me, I'm announcing, it's like announcing yourself to an angry dog at a house.You're just like, hello, may I come in?Yes, I'm coming in here.
And then you're like, yeah man, if you're a ghost and you're an orb, then also this crystal fucking works, so get ready.Yeah, so eat my ass, go for it.
Just eat my ass orb.But that's it too, where I think I do like, I do love the idea of like, I do think that Alex and I have talked about this, like energetically and vibrationally, you attract to you kind of what you put out there, right?
Where it's the same, like if you're negative- That's the secret.That's the secret, baby.
So my whole thing too is I was like, you know what, this weird ass shit, I find it frightening, but at the same time, I think energetically I'm putting out there okay stuff, so maybe that's just a cool ass ghost storm.
Maybe that static ghost wanted me to hear. something cool.
I'm not in a place to receive it, my guy.I don't want it.Go to my Wikipedia page.
He's just trying to hang out.He's trying really hard to be like, Hey Maddie, what's going on?You seem chilled.Do you want to eat popcorn?But like you don't speak Casper.So it just comes out like, I will eat your flesh.
And you're like, no, get me out of here.
And I was like, okay, thank you.No, not today.Not interested.Thank you.No, ma'am.But yeah, I think I think you can also attract the good, the good good to you as well.Yeah, I am one of those.That's kind of like what I ascribe to.Sure.
But I think that ends up, the doors are open, you know what I mean?If you are, I think both have to exist at the same time, right?If you're going to open yourself to attract good vibes and good energy, positivity.You're open.You're open.
That's just the channel has been open that way.
I've hung out with enough, like, hardcore mediums.Yeah.
Like, you know, so like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, I have a friend who reads Akashic Records and that's all he does.It's like rip open everybody's past life and, like, lock you in and then put themselves, like, into you.
And so they make themselves one of your past lives so they can root around and, like, talk to you from, like, you know, the voices beyond.And it is
ton and then also like I have I have watched her read for somebody and like get locked in and then just go Oh God, oh There's too much in here.
Okay, like it's like when the like priest shows up at the exorcist and is like Nope, or um, wait, have you guys seen God what's the one that was the big jump scare at the end?paranormal activity
It's the guy who shows up and he just walks in the house and goes, fuck no, and just leaves.And they're like, wait, wait, wait.And he's like, nope, I'm leaving.Y'all should get out of here.We gotta go.Nope, see you later.
But like that's, yeah, those people that are like, yeah, I'm wide open.So I've got to be really careful to close myself down again.I mean, this is a like Western magical thing again.
Like when you get into actually like doing rituals and stuff, you have to, there's like opening rituals and then you do the magic or whatever.And then you have to close the circle or Or it lets shit in.
If you fucking build a house over the Native American burial ground and just ignore it, it's going to open a portal to fucking hell.
I think again, I think a lot about perspective and whatnot, not to get, but it is true where so much of it is just how to change your mind about it.So that's a lot of like, yeah, because I've had to.
I think that, I mean, I'm trying to, not to add a clean button to it, but I've been talking a lot lately about when things that used to really scare me, I realize now don't or stress me out.A lot of it is just like, can I change my mind about it?
And 90% of the time, a slight shift in perspective, I go, oh, okay.
And sometimes I can't wrench myself out of that emotional state or negativity, but I can for a second get a glimpse and be like, I'm surrounded by 20 other doors here, I'm just choosing to be in this door.
It's like a, that's a thought process thing, right?It's like you sage your brain, right?You have to like undo a like thought path that is basement scary door.You know, we've all seen Home Alone.
He had to go down there and like tell the boiler to fuck itself.And like, that's it.Like, I mean, that's the answer to most Stephen King books to bring it all the way back to Carrie is like fight it.
fight the monster in the closet as my anytime there's a monster in the closet like story like it you you have to go at pennywise right you shoot him with your inhaler and have an orgy at him or whatever and like yeah you just gotta you gotta fight it yeah well that's why i refuse to be like go surreal i because i was like i'm open to it i'm open to we all have these i've had experiences i recognize it but part of me is like no i'm gonna fight this because otherwise the idea of just like
Pray victim to this force that is beyond my recognition.No!
That's how the orbs get you.So I say no, orb.
You might still have been a cat.
That's what I say.You cat ass bitch.
You cat ass bitch, I'm gonna put you in a Wikipedia page as probably cat.
You fluffy ass scared of cucumbers not liking water hydrophobic motherfucker ass licking yourself.
Don't put tape on your fat love tubes full of slurried meat ass bitch.
Sandpaper-ass tongue-having bitch!
I don't care that you defied gravity and were definitely made of light.You a cat!
My cat definitely defies gravity and is definitely also made of light, so that tracks.
See?Put it in the page.Put it in the Wikipedia page.This is all evidence.
This is a fact.Thank you. You know what fucked me up was Jumanji, man.Jumanji scared the shit out of me.It was the plants.I was like 11 and I saw it at summer camp.They used to show us movies in like one of the big multi-purpose buildings.
And so we went and saw it.And this is a fucking PG movie.
But I go back and we sleep in tents, big platform tents.So my bed is just facing the woods.
Actual jungle.And like, yeah, the jungle.And like, it's a very windy night.And I, surprisingly, no one have a very overactive imagination.I don't need drugs, but they're fun.And and like, and like, but at 12, I didn't need any of it.
And I was just like, you know, I was
Hormones or your drugs at 12, and I just I could not I could not sleep I like was just sitting there freaked out staring thinking that the plants were gonna come in It's the precursor to the monsters in stranger things right like yeah, yeah, I think also just that awful like the action of like a giant monster
Anytime there's a mouth where there shouldn't be a mouth.I'm out.
Hey, yo, you know what freaks me out Connor did that would like we had like an eldritch horror in the show the other night and it was like a starfish with like all of its suckers were mouths and I was like on stage in the middle Alex was like fuck you Well, I was like no you're a cat
Hey, no, you're probably a cat.My scary thing, then, is I don't fuck with sloths, because Gollum ruins my life.
Because also, like, a combination of, I saw The Ring II and Lord of the Rings at a pivotal age, where, like, the action of spindly, grippy arms, like, the reaching, the slothy, kind of, like, long arm reaching, that is absolutely numb.
It's that fucking uncanny valley shit.Or, like, an extra joint or whatever. I remember, I think one of the most brilliant genre of scary stories ever is the Skinwalker stuff.Because you A, the visual of like, this is almost an animal.
It's almost a person, but not with extra joints and long limbs.But I remember the first time I was ever told these stories out by, you know, a fucking summer camp.
The fact that a baked in part of the mythos is the more you talk and think about Skinwalkers, the more likely they are to seek you out.That shit fucked me up.
So sorry to everybody now, but name magic is extremely bad.
I can go on and on about name magic forever There's a reason that like when somebody if somebody called you like bill you'd be like, no, no, I mean, I'm not I'm not I can't handle it if people give me the Alec with a C I'm like no I rebuke that different name gone.
That's a whole other name.I Alex Alexander, that's all fine.But like if or like like Maddie with Maggie Maggie Maggie, I'm like, no, that's not me.
No, you're referring to me.Yeah.
yeah yeah yeah it's like that's that's not me you have no control over me if you try to use that name however if somebody hits me if somebody you know we all know we all know our mom is the full legal like the mom name it's the Rumpelstiltskin power of like Raymond Alexander Murray I'm like oh god here here's the gold and I don't want your kid and I'm out oh I'm I don't have a middle name so if I got
Madeline Murphy, I was truly, I was like, I'm gone.I don't have a middle name, my sisters do.
Too many sisters, they ran out of middle names by the time they got to you.
My parents I think were busy.
Yeah, Madeline Murphy.A middle name?No.
We're fine.We're going home.I got sauce on the stove.We gotta go.
Stamp it, seal it, deliver it.Truly is.Yeah, mom and dad.Take that.Feel bad.
It's okay, I got saddled with two.
What's the second?How British.No, they're not.It's essentially my grandfather's name just sandwiched in my name.Sure.So it's William Donald Gare Champion.
Just doxed myself.Yeah, that's my mother's family name up that avenue.That's good.
William Donald Gare Champion.
One of my very bestest friends.
That's a good one though.You sound evil.
No, not because of the British accent.
Here, in this neck of the woods?I'll take it.
But I just mean, William Donald Gare champion.
I mean, yeah, that's a lawyer who will absolutely foreclose on an orphanage.
Can either confirm or deny.Yeah, you definitely chopped down the town's oldest tree.No, really?To build a Starbucks, yeah.
Yeah, but that's when the town gets haunted often.
Yeah, don't cut down the tree and you let out Tim Curry, the like- Fungally spirit thing.The pollution monster.
That's it, your full name is the evocative of ghosts, so we just have to keep calling you Will.
Great, great.Yeah, that's we hamper it down.How are you?Are you learning?It's got to be you have to be pronounced the right way.It's got to be the right syllables and all that to like hit you.And it just you have you.Yeah.
I mean, it's a weird thing that we do at the show every night.Like it's a big part of the magic that we do is like we get the names from people.We don't know who anyone's called.And think about like how much of a whack that has on the story.
You know what, last night, this is, again, spinning it back to last night's show, we had 10 crits, which is a record in TST.
I think nine of which, eight or nine of which were 20s, and only one was a one.
And what it was, though, is I truly believe we summoned it because we started, the audience started chanting ghost 20. Over and over again.Because last night we had started where we were afraid of ghosts, we'd had an encounter with ghosts.
And then ghost 20 became the summoning chant and at least twice it worked on the decider, our biggest dice on a death-saving throw, ghost 20 brought forth 20.
You can't argue with it, you cannot argue with it.
Talk about a thing that like has had so much energy pumped into it.Aabria and I were talking about this the other week, like the thing that has had so much just focused energy put at it.So many people willing like it to do a thing.Yeah.
Yeah.That decided it was battered, bruised, and charged.
Battered, bruised, and charged.
Pumped full of thousands of people's ambitions for Chris. It truly is probably the most magical item.Yeah.
Certainly near us.Yeah.Yeah.I mean, that's how, like, you know, that's how we do it.Right.Magical.That's how we make things mean things.
I can almost guarantee, like, should the if there was knock on wood somewhere, but like should the entire theater suddenly collapse in a dramatic, you know, fault line incident.What are you doing right now?The single thing.Yeah.
We haven't closed the fucking circle yet, man.
No, but you inexplicably that giant D20 would be alone unscathed in the rubble.
I firmly believe.Slightly melted.Yeah.But melted together.Concealed in fact.Yeah. What's inside of it?Tim Curry, the pollution monster.
That's what's in there.Miles of each of our blerd.
Tim Curry made out of our blood.
Tim Slurry.Tim Slurry!No!
I'm made of your blood.Here I am.I'm inside.I'm inside the decider.
Do you want a natural 20?
You guys can't imagine how hard his eyebrows are working right now.They are fully arched.It's a lot.
Making your mouth open crazy big Nigel Nigel hit me Smashing
Not Tim Curry, but Nigel Thornberry lives in me somewhere.Yeah, absolutely.
Oh, yeah.Yeah, yeah, yeah.And then as we've established, I do a perfect English accent, so I don't have to show it off now.
Nope, you do now.Oh, God, it's the orb.The orb's back.
I just become a... Oh, I can do a good demon voice, though.This is... Can you do, like, scary stuff?My mom won't let me in the house if I do this.Do it.
William Champion. Maddie isn't here right now.
So you realize what's happening now is what you just said into this microphone is being sent back X many years.It's just you speaking to yourself with the static and the study.Yeah, that's what it is.
I've been a cat this whole time.
Me cat. And then my parent, Q, my mom right now, finally somehow finds my birth certificate and there's a smidge on it and she brushes it off and my middle name is Kat.
That's where the credits roll.
A24, Ari Asa directed.Absolutely.Hell yeah.I mean, Let's roll the credits on this show here then to Yeah, what a great spooky episode.Happy Halloween Yeah Hell yeah Well, you know, you know where to find us nerds Come hang out with us on the discord.
Come see the show.We're doing it all the time It's Maddie and it's will and it's me.We're in stage 42 yell your socials into the microphones
Okay, hey, I am at mad.mad.murphy on Instagram, and that's it, but I would also like to promote at High Stakes Productions.It's High Stakes Chicago on Instagram.That is a improv company in Chicago that I co-found.
And I think you should also check that out, baby.
I'm at Will the Champ on Instagram, and then at Bards of New York is the D&D stream that I'm currently DMing for.
And he's really good at it.
Hell yeah.I'm at our Alex Murray, and you know what the R stands for now if you listened close enough, nerds. Come and yell all my names at me and see if you can make me dance for you.
Hey y'all, come imbue our decider with your good good energy.
Come bring your energy into our weird haunted playhouse.
And bless Tim Slurry who lives within.Bless Tim Slurry.
Oh god, thank you Tim Slurry.And friends, until next time, ale and well met.
This is the outro music.D20.
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