And we're starting now.Hello, everybody.We're back, the three of us.I guess McKeever couldn't make it.No, he's working like crazy.Busy as hell.Yeah, he's extreme.I don't know how he's doing what he's doing.No.
He's doing a little bit of everything.He's now at that point where he can't get to, there's always somebody that needs something.
Yeah, which that could be trouble.Because then you're going to have to handle a lot.
And then Dwight gets his dick sucked constantly and he becomes the boss and is really cool and everyone thinks he's cool.
I did a cool thing, I went and got a mask made.
You got a, oh shit, yeah, for the show.
Fucking silicone put on, yeah.
Nice, for when I blow your fucking head off.
I wanted him to give me a Terminator eye.
Uh, it wasn't, it wasn't that bad.It was kind of nice.And also my, my dad wound up being like 10 minutes away.They pulled my dad out of retirement.What do you mean?Yeah.My dad retired from engineering and he's working.Yeah.He's working today.
So you got to see your father.
Yeah.Yeah.I got to have a little meal with him, which was nice.We ate hot dogs.
You and your dad ate hot dogs.
Yeah.We shared a hot dog.Yeah.It was nice.And some cheese curds. Talked about minor league or not minor league, but like youth league hockey for a little bit.
Talked about kids and ate hot dogs.That's a good day.It's a great day.Where'd you guys eat?
At the park?No, we went to this place called Destination Dog.
You went to this hot dog specific restaurant?Yeah, yeah.That's nice.Yeah, it was great.I'm not a big dog guy.No, these are good hot dogs.I fucking hate hot dogs.Me too. I just hate I obviously I'm a munching.
Yeah, I'll grow up with the best but hot dog.I just fucking hate hot dogs No, good hot disgusting.Well, they're a terrible ally in this all you Fucking chicken fingers By the way, chicken fingers obviously rule.
Yeah.Yeah.Yeah, but it's more grilled chicken and rice and broccoli now My diet affects how I feel.Of course.Yeah.
So are you, are you bulking up or is the strategy?
Okay.Yeah.I did think I've opened it because I did.And I started to tell you this and then I stopped, but I think I unlocked a new power source in the golf where this kept power swing story was going.Yeah.
There was more to that story.
No, there wasn't but it wasn't.
I wanted that to be.There could have been more.That needed to be done.That was one of the worst stories I've ever heard in my life.Well, I don't think it was.You should tell everybody on the pod.
I don't want to.Everybody's just going to make fun of me.
No one's going to make fun of you.So we're in the middle of us filming, which is, it's long.And then Steve's like, oh my God. I saw him smiling.
He saw me and said, that's all it was, by the way.I literally, I, the tiniest little rings of my.
Now you were literally looking at the floor going.
He's imagining how bad the story is going to go.Yes.But also wanting to say it.
Desperately wanting to say it.Yeah.
And the story was you hit a golf ball far.
Well, so I, I played both days, played Saturday and Sunday.This is already so boring.
That's why you're fucking so tired when we're filming.
No, I didn't know it energizes me.No, it doesn't.
No, it doesn't.I need it.Otherwise, I would have been more tired.
We are at risk of losing you to injury. You're trying to go for the long ball.You're trying to go for the long ball.
You were barely making it the other day.Was that yesterday?God damn.
Well, we all got sick from... From... One of the... Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.One of the guest stars.
Yeah.Maybe.It's tough to blame him.
It could have come from anywhere.
Regardless, you're in close quarters with a bunch of people.It's coming from me.
Dude, I'm, yeah, I'm a suspect.I had it.
Yeah.I had something going on.
But anyway, he saw me smile.I had to tell the story, which is just that I, you know, had this feel in my back.
Let's also, I know you're trying to get to this incredible story, but let's make sure everyone knows this is out of fucking nowhere.This isn't like we were talking about golf.We were talking about anything.This is just all right.
This is in a silent room.We were pretty quiet.
Yeah, but we were also, you know, we, we, we see each other every day.There's a limited amount of stuff to talk about.So I had this other thing to talk to you about.It's kind of the highlight.
So, uh, I made a few swing changes and then got this feel that gave me a lot more coil in my backswing.And I hit a bomb, like, you know,
I hit a couple bombs, frankly, coming down the home stretch and my playing partner, you know, it was like, damn, you cleared the bunker into the wind.And I was like, I never would have done that.It's a good feeling.But you see, this is the thing.
I think it's only most people who don't care about golf.It's whatever.If you love golf, that feeling of connecting with the drive and watching the ball sail, it's just, it's whatever you're supposed to feel when you listen to Beethoven.
It's just this thing.And I, I got to feel that and I love it. It is great.And, and now that we're feeling that a little bit of top golf, you hit the golf ball far.It's fun to have somebody pulling it out.You pumped that.I did pump it.
And then I had 80 yards left.I had a perfect 80 yard day fell shot, made the putt birdie.It played a birdie.I did have a birdie.
Nice.Thanks. That's good.That's it.
That was my boring ass story that I thought of and then thought of his response to it.And then of course I have to tell it.So just walk the plank.
That was a, I do really want to get good at golf.
Yeah, it'd be fun.Golfing would be fun.Yeah.Unless you're golfing with Steve and his buddies.Dead clean sober enjoying the sport.Sober buddies enjoying the sport.Hitting a fucking 120 sober.That fucking blows, dude.
Although you said you hit in the 80s, right?
Was that the day with the birdie?Yeah, yeah.Yeah, you were feeling it.I was feeling it.Fuck yeah.How'd you feel when you got home?How'd you feel when you got home?Did your girlfriend catch the business?
Did your girlfriend get the business?She did, she got it.I shouldn't have asked.
You carry it over?Do I carry whatever?The confidence of a good golf game?
Yes, but I don't carry over the bad stuff.I don't carry over the bad stuff.I don't believe that either.
You don't take it out on her if you have a bad day?No.Come here.
These golf stories make me really miss Matt's fucking dream stories.I listen to Matt's dream stories every day.I had some bad dreams last night.You had some dreams?I had some really bad dreams.I miss dream stories.
Because we went out and we had some dinner last night and I went home, but then in my dream we stayed out and got fucked up.That's fun.Yeah, yeah.We got really fucked up.Might be the ticket.
You're actually sleeping in your head.
I was, but then I got so shit face.Somehow I woke up in my parents' house and in a drunken stupor, I had like started like a variety of puzzles all over the floors of my parents' house.
And I woke up and I was like, I don't know how I'm going to explain what happened last night.And like, What the fuck were you doing?You kept making puzzles all over the, like, what the fuck is wrong with you?
Yeah, sure.So how about the golf?
Cause it happened in reality.There you go.It really fucked me up.I'm not going to lie.The puzzle thing.Yeah.Yeah. my imaginary debauch tonight.We had a nice night.We did have, we had a wonderful night.I stood my ground.
I did.I wanted to get to sleep so I could get fucked dinner with our ladies and we had a nice dinner, but we were discussing Halloween costumes.Okay.Of course the ladies are, they want to go as slutty, whatever.Sure.And it's like, yeah,
Why not not do that?Yeah.It's cool when I wasn't dating you.
But now, you know, I'm sitting there, I'm in the middle of, I'm battling both girlfriends.
This one's silent Judas.Really?That was Peter.
I said at the table, I would like to get some sleep tonight.I do not want to open this can of worms.
I think that's fair.What do you think of that?I'm in the trenches, doing battle.He even said, I appreciate what you're doing.Wow.Which was a mistake.
So what do you actually think then?
It didn't come back to haunt me.Not in the moment.That was a slow burn, that fight.
So what do you actually think? Like when other people's girlfriends are dressed slutty, that's sure yeah, but Chris.
What do you actually think so?
Yeah, and you were saying no I was saying that we're gonna have a Halloween party, and it's gonna be a bunch of fucking people from my work and Half of them are 40 You know right this is not the time
Yeah, I think it's going to wind up- I'm with you.So then I'm saying, what is your opinion?Yeah, I think it's going to wind up being like a bunch of just like our friends boozing and like being dressed super slutty is going to be a little weird.
Yeah.Yeah.But- That's all?Yeah.Yeah, I agree.So that's what I genuinely think.
But you can't get in that argument with a woman.Yeah, yeah. The other side of that look like what is the other side?What is their argument?Yeah that you're an insecure controlling fucking pussy Which is which is You can't break out of it.
You gotta find no, I think that's no big missile in Mario.I don't know I would disagree with that argument.
I would say it's not about being insecure, it's about making my friends maybe a little uncomfortable because they don't want to look at you sexually because me, their friend, is dating you.
But yet you're sort of forcing them.
You're going Sharia law on this. You're mine.You're mine.Let's cover you up a little.No.And I agree.
No, I agree.Because you're mine.
My enemy's enemy is my friend.
I'm saying because my friend, yeah, my friends, it's like they don't give Brian six a boner at the holiday.Right.
But yeah, that's, that's never an argument you can win.I've been down this road.Obviously we all have.
Well, cause you get, once you start getting this specifically, like how long or short a skirt you're just, you're in... I did that at the table.
Stop me.Stop me wearing the dress.Up your knee, tell me where the dress stops.And if, you know, when you say it, like I'm saying right now, it does come off a little bit controlling and abusive, but it was not.
It was a fun, friendly conversation that ended up not being friendly, but at first seemed friendly.
I was trying to suggest a variety of costumes that maybe, you know, shouldn't require.
I was going to go as Frankenstein.
Bride of Frankenstein.Yeah.It's like a turtleneck.Full gown.
Yeah, that was passed upon.Princess Leia.Princess Leia was nice.
You wanted to do Hillary Clinton, Princess Leia.Yeah.I'm on Cloud City's Princess Leia.
Nope.Nope.Slave Leia was what was settled upon.Was just metal bikini Princess Leia.That was an idea for real.I was just like, no.Yeah.It's gonna be 40 degrees.Don't.
Miss Frizzle was in the mix.That's a big dress.I knew where that was going.
The scuba diving episode.
They editorialized Miss Frizzle a little bit.
Yeah.And what are you, you're still playing on the referee costume?
No, no.Because I don't, I don't, I'm shy.And I know that that doesn't sound, I was thinking about this.You're shy, man.Yeah, I am shy.And I think to make this costume funny when the idea behind the costume was I'd be like, uh, why are you laughing?
Uh, nothing, nothing.Keep going.Okay.We'll come back to that.Okay.Uh, the idea behind the costume is I'm an NFL referee.I do have like a little mini.
Yeah.You're throwing party fouls.
You're right.And I'm hitting people with the flag and calling party fouls.
Yes.And I will say this has been done.
It's probably for 30 years.OK, then it's OK.
That's it's not it's original to you, but I'm not going to do it because, again, I just don't have the. frankly, balls to go around and... I think you do.
No, I don't.Well, this fucks me, because I bought a referee outfit, and I was going to be wearing it when you got there.No, are you serious?You're going to be so funny with me.It was Chris's idea to get a white hat, so I'd be the head official.
I'd look for a white hat.
So I could tell you what to do.
Oh, he thought of this.You're a megalomaniac.I was going to go eBay for a white hat, and I was like, I just want a regular one.You're a megalomaniac, bro.You're a power-hungry pig.
I'm a power-hungry pig. That's how you look at me.
I mean, you know, it's just, we were laughing so hard last night and you showed up in the black hat, just white and picking up flags going, there's no flag.
I literally have it in my checkout thing.
I think I'm just going to come as like a Ben Franklin or something.
Yeah.It's good.It's a good way to mix in the spectacles.
We can get some glasses on.Yeah.
I thought of that.I thought that there was a George Washington one on Amazon.
But then I felt like that might be kind of cunty to invite people to your house and then wear a fucking general's uniform and be like, welcome to my party.I'm the coolest guy of all time.I'm the most powerful man ever.I invented America.
I like, I like the idea of going all Revolution, yeah all ever revolutionary clothing.I like it too 1770s What are laughing at earlier?I was laughing at that The flag is so funny in all fairness
I did.I saw that referee.It's not like an original thought.I had, I was in manioc and this was like, this is going back 15 years.
And you thought of it then?
No, a guy ran down the street.It was like, Oh, you saw someone do it. He pelted a guy in a Spider-Man costume with a flag, 15 yards from being an F, and it was just so funny.
It was back when you could say it.
We're bringing those back, dude.Unless Chris has anything to say about it in 30 days, you fucking coward.What are you talking about?You know what I'm talking about.I know what you're going to do.
You know we're on the same side of that issue.
How many votes are you going to put in this year? Got about 20,000 last year.Yeah.
Yeah, I'm gonna request I've requested 20 the whole downstairs is full of balance I'm filling them out cat's name putting one in for May.No, it's funny.
Hey, that was So crazy at the show.
Chris killed.The show was sick shows.That was the coolest thing ever.Watching you walk out in that place.Yup.
It's too cool.I mean, from our vantage, the way that people saw you moving in the beginning and just started like rising up.
Yeah, I had fun.It was surreal to watch.
You were right.You told me that the round is better.Way better.
It's so much better than a stage.Because all the sound hits you at the same time.Yeah, sometimes it can trick you.You're like, God damn, I'm killing.And then you get off stage and people are like, that was good.How do you think it went?
Dude, that bothers me so much.How do you think it went?
Yeah, how did you feel about it?
I thought it was the best night of my life.I guess I was wrong.Yeah, that was awesome.That was a fun fucking night. That was great and little Gurbie babies.I got to meet a pitcher.Yeah Discuss pitching from the mound.
Yeah, and then one of your buddies sold him like a gas tank what?You what are your what are your buddies that was there?
Yeah.Yeah, apparently like I
Made a business deal with a pitcher from the Phillies.Nice.
Yeah.They were talking like he was, they were just talking for a while and strong was talking about going on some big drive.And, uh, he was like, Oh, you're going to need a bigger tank for that.You need bigger tank gas tank.I'll hook it up.
Frode.Oh, he was driving a truck.Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.He was one of the guys that was a mechanic at Ardmore.Ed.Nice.Yeah, it was awesome.I don't know if we should cut that out.No, that's totally fine.Look at that fucking cat, dude.
What are you looking at?He's firing up.He's firing up.That's nice. Where's your gay cat?
At my gay house.Is it doing anything gay?
She's into her outdoor.She's got like a whole backyard.I made her a garden.
This guy needs to go outside.
They keep him in.He's a giant.He'd be a fucking problem out there.
He'd get fucked up.The groundhog outside would decimate him.He could run away from a groundhog. He thinks he's ready for outside, but he's not.
You guys are ruining this boy's life.
All he has to do is, he has a chair to play with.Let him go outside.He's a big dog.
All day he wants to go outside.He's full.
Yeah.Jameis is the best ever.Let him out.I could watch that all day.
Instead of podcasting, I could watch Chris play with the cat.
What time you got to be in early?I do.
What time do you have to go in tomorrow?I think 645.Yeah.What time are you?Dang.Yes, brother.I'm still going to try and go to the Y tonight and work out.
You've been working out during this.
I have.Yeah.Yeah.Occasionally.
Did you work out yesterday?You better not have.No.All right.Good.No.I would have a problem with that.
Yeah, I was under the weather yesterday.
I know you were.Yeah.I thought you were going to die.
We were laughing so hard last night because your face, like you lost all your blood in your face.Yeah.Your face was ghostly white and you had that shit on.I got so scared.At one point you looked at me like. I was like, holy shit.
I was even watching you during a scene and being like, he's going to hate the way this one comes out.He's going to look fucking terrified.
I don't know if anybody's had this where you're just like, your hearing cuts out and it's like pop.And then, and that's normal.I've had that happen before.And I was just, typically I'm standing up.
It happened when I was sitting down and then I just got crazy vertigo.And I was like sitting next to John, like squeezing his arm, like, It was scary.
It looked like it was because you were upset about what you were wearing.That's what made it so funny.The way you walked in, it just was like, yeah.
Yeah.Well, it's a lot of like, uh, first of all, the wig is very hot and then, uh, there, it takes a long time to put it on and a lot of like fussing about it.And you know, does that bother you?I thought, I thought you'd like getting fussed over.
You love the makeup chair, bro.
Yeah.I'm not a big fan of like all that.Cause it's also like they put in, you know, you've had it.It's just not the most comfortable thing. But in your hair, you're constantly eating fake hair, it's in your mouth.
No, it's not even fake hair, it's real hair.Yeah, yeah, it's another person's hair.Yeah.That grosses you out?Yes.
Yeah, it's disgusting.What are you talking about?Other people's hair in your mouth?Of course.
Yeah, it's never really bothered me.How often does that happen?Not a ton.But if I get like hair in the food, I just take it out and keep it.Yeah, I take it out and keep eating.Some people will lose their minds over that stuff.
Like the whole thing.Would you?I thought for sure you'd love the hair and makeup.Ah, no. I don't know.You love like the photographers coming in.
I might be over it.I don't know.I don't know.I change.I change.I didn't used to be a shy person and you beat that out of me.
Why?You're great.I'm trying to make you less shy.Yeah, no, I know you are.You are trying to let you, I can show you the world.You would have great.He would have killed it.
Well, no, no, I don't have it yet.I'm working on it. You would have enjoyed it.You would have really enjoyed it.You would have had fun.Yeah.I had fun watching you guys.That was so cool.It really was. Yeah, it really was.
And even just, you know, you're like, wow, you know, we were driving, like Julie and I were driving down and we were just like driving and she's like, there's like teams of guys coming to watch in a van drinking beers.
And we're like, this is all Shane.Like we are in Shane traffic.
I got there and people were tailgating and I was like, oh fuck.This crowd is going to be fucking out of control.And they weren't.They were good.Good guys.
Yeah.I've been surprised by all the shows.I mean, I haven't been to that many, but the ones that I have been in that size, close to that size, everyone's like in their seats and ready to go.
Yeah.It's crazy.I'll do like a minor league hockey arena in some small town, dude, to get rowdy.There's some fights up in the balconies and shit.Yeah.Yeah.You just see that.That's fun.A fight up in the balcony.Yeah.It's just old time hockey.It's fun.
That was the first time I ever saw that.I remember when I was in hockey camp in Toronto, going into the, like whatever skating rink we were doing this, whatever at, it was like a goalie camp.
And there were just dudes fresh off of just beer league just, and it was like me and my dad walking in and they were just, they were chirping at us and talking shit and just crushing beers, sitting on the back of their cars and stuff.Yeah.
Nice.It was crazy.They could sense the Connecticut Dandies.The Connecticut Dandies are here for hockey.That was the old Canada.
That was a big wake-up call.That was back in the day.Oh, apparently they're still up there.The Patriots left.Yeah, I found them.
Formed that big wagon train.Yeah.What else is going on?Anything cool?
Unfortunately, all the cool stuff is like the show, and that's so much of the life.The show's cool, yeah.It's like 14 hours a day, and then you're just gonna come home.
It's true.You've been good, though.
Oh, really?Thank you so much.
Yeah, you've been good.You haven't been grumpy on set yet.Not really.Not really.It was one day.That was nothing.There's sometimes, though, like last year, I think we'd be done by now.
Basically.Yeah.Fuck, we should have gone back with that.What the fuck are we doing?We had it.We'll just do a month.Yeah, just get done like we did last time.We'd be done with it.We could be done.
We still have fucking forever.
Yeah, we do.We got a long ways to go, but... You have been less grumpy.
You've been less grumpy.I don't think I was super grumpy last time.You're a bit of a power hungry pig again.
Power hungry pig?You stop saying that.Everyone's gonna think it's totally true.
No, they do.What was I gonna say?
I mean, I'm not wrong, but... Oh, what was I gonna say?
You were going to say this year's better.
No, I was going to.Yes.I, you know, obviously bias, but we saw a cut.
It's I'm so excited for everybody to see this.Yeah.
I really am.I know that that's like a thing that people say, but boy, is this fun?I think it has.
I just like your enthusiasm.It's fun.I would never talk that way.It's nice to hear that.
Yeah.I'm not trying to be, you know, I'm going to get you on a late night TV show this year.I'm going to pants you on Jimmy Fallon.
That's fine.You know what I've decided what I'm going to do.If you do that, I'm just going to say compliments about you.That's effectively pantsing you.I'm going to be like, you know, he put me in this show.
You're going to make me cry.That would be a good revenge. Just with your pants around your ankles.Yeah.Complimenting.You ever see that?Uh, I think it's Mark Summers and Burt Reynolds on a late night show where they, I forget.
Mark Summers is like a Nicola.It's literally you and me on a, he's like, it starts, he's, he's talking about his marriage and Burt, Burt Reynolds is like, shut the fuck up.And he's like, me and my wife are still together.
And the crowd's like, Oh, and he like throws his water on him.Anyway, they're getting a fight.
Reynolds throws his water on Mark Summers.
Yeah. And then they're like, all right, fellas, let's settle this with a pie contest.Or like they turn around and pie each other.Bert Reynolds hooks him in the face, like as hard as he can.
Yeah, it's pretty crazy.Anyway, that's what's going to happen.
And Mark Summers is like a hypochondriac, isn't he?I don't know anything about Mark Summers.
He's probably terrified of that pie.
Yeah.I think he's like a real neat freak.How do you know about Mark Summers?I met him once.What?Yeah.I tried to shake his hand.
Where'd you, oh, is that how you came up with that?He blew by you and your dad was like, he's afraid of germs.The guy from Nickelodeon doesn't hate you.
I met him as an adult and I tried to shake his hand.Where?He did a show at Good Good once.Nice.Actually, no, it wasn't, yeah, it wasn't there.It was at some other thing.Yeah, yeah.
That is now a very famous golf channel.Good Good?Oh, yeah.Yeah, YouTube, because it's, yeah. That's it, I ruined that, my bad.Hey, golf.Damn it.
Billy's talking about doing some golf stuff.
Billy goes out there, yeah.
I mean, that could really, you know.
Unite the clans.Golf's fun.We all agree golf's fun.
He's got a cool vibe to him.
Yeah, he's a cool guy.Cool clothes.You wish you could wear those cool clothes?Of course I do.You could wear those cool clothes.
He's got the amount of necklaces that I would like to wear.
I would, I would like you to wear those.
No, I sent Shane a picture of me wearing the Jewish one that we talked about last time.Oh, I want to see it.He was like, I'm going to kill you.You're not even Jewish.No, I know.
I know you're fraud.Yeah.When are you going to get back into Judaism?
Like I said, maybe deathbed.I don't know.
Really thinking to put up a Hail Mary.
Yes.Did you?You did.You got like, did you get the mitzvah?
All right.So you've done all the things.Yeah.You're in that.
Chris is looking at the photo now.Damn.
It looks pretty good on you.It does.It does make you look actually extremely Jewish.I never think of you as Jewish until I responded to that.I was like, my bad.That was a little too much.Yeah.
That's a good pro-Israel like Twitter biopic.
And you are very pro-Israel.
That's too complicated for me to have an opinion on.I want everybody to be safe.
I'm up for that too.So how did the rest of Friday night go after the show?
Just kind of hung out and drank.
Went to Bonner's, drank some more.
Brian Regan showed up.That was sick.
Yeah, Brian Regan showed up.That was cool.He's fantastic.
It was an exciting time.And then I realized I was too drunk.I got the wobbles a little.And I was like, all right, I need to leave.But I would still like to argue with Chris in front of everyone.So I'd be like, all right, I'm going to go home.
I got to go home.And they'd be like, Chris, just admit Russian collusion. Collusion was wrong.
And I'm also fucked up.So I took a bait.
We had a good battle except Chris was outnumbered 10 to one.
I was bringing all Billy was there.I got to just summon Billy.Billy handle this because I can't really talk.Billy wound up going I don't give a shit about any of this.
Uh, it's interesting cause I called him on the way over here and he was like, Chris is a pussy in your driveway.That's what he was saying about you.
Cause I was like, I got nothing.You gotta give me something to talk about.Yeah.He was like CEO of Abercrombie and Fitch is a fucking pedophile.I got that. I was like, what else?
That almost goes without saying.
Uh, yeah, I guess it was, what's his name?Lex Wexner was his money guys.The same as Epstein.I don't know.Oh yeah, Wexner.
Is he the Victoria's Secret guy or something?Yeah, I think so.Yeah.
Well, anyway, the next topic.
Someone was saying that the other day.Where is Ghislaine Maxwell?
No one knows.Were you saying that?I was saying that because I was listening to Tim Dillon.Oh, yeah.Which is one of the best.Listen to Tim Dillon.He's hilarious.
I told you, like, the one thing, I think it was with, um... Let's go back to the collusion thing, though, because that was the other topic.Can you just admit that that was kind of a false narrative?
We were out.No, I stand by that.
Uh, well, it depends which version you think they were accusing him of, but I think everything in the Mueller report, I think everything in the steel dossier that ended up getting the Clinton's got fine.
I don't stand by this, but everything in the Mueller report I stand by.
Do you think it's okay for a political candidate to use the intelligence agencies to accuse another?
candidate of being a Russian spy and then using that, putting it in the media and letting them talk about it for four years unchecked with almost no edits, no fucking sorry, we made a mistake.
It didn't help that, uh, what's his name?
Do you think that's okay?Trump Jr.Trump Jr.I'm just wondering if you think that's okay.Could you answer the question Kamala?He admitted it.I actually grew up middle class.That's how you answer questions.You are Kambala.
No, Trump Jr.admitted it during the campaign.
He said, we, we are.Yeah.
They were like, yeah, they were like, you guys tried to meet with Russia to get dirt on Hillary.And he was, he released the emails.
Oh, they tried to, or they did?
They tried to.Yeah.Well, they wound up not being, they wound up not having the meeting.
Oh, that's good.But so they didn't do it.
The Trump.No, no, no, no.
Cause he ended up not killing his wife.So he is not a murder.Not doing that crime.
No, no, no.He, yeah, no, they caught out of topics.
We could just talk politics or Steve's jacking off habits. Okay, what do you think about this whole Russian collusion thing here I You know don't know nearly enough about it.
I think somebody was arrested though from hey if somebody gets arrested Then they're definitely guilty that was another argument But wasn't the person that was claiming that there was Russian collusion was actually colluding with Russia.
Yeah.Yeah.There's a couple of those.It's ridiculous.Yeah.I don't know.They got, yeah.
To me, the most alarming thing is the, um, and not that I know nearly enough about it, but the prosecution of Trump in New York for trying to get a loan and claiming that his building was worth more than what I guess.
Yeah.It was a Mar-a-Lago one and the government was like, that's worth 5 million.
And Mar-a-Lago there was a, I guess there was a, but yeah, I didn't see the Mar-a-Lago even though through my understanding, I don't keep paying track.
Also ran its own conveniently.Stop paying attention.Well, how much is a little kid that quits when he's losing an Xbox?No, no, no, I'm not.You turn.No, I'm not.Actually you were winning and you go, all right, we're done.
Turn it off, Biden won, Trump's going to jail, turn the game off.
You don't think Biden won?I think he did win.Yeah.I mean, he won.
Yeah.You think there was malfeasance?Who knows?
Do I think?No.I think there was some unrest in the country that seemed to be beneficial to one side.
I will say this about, I was thinking about this the other day.
I will say this about Trump, I do, the thing that I really do like about Trump is that if he, he's kind of doing exactly what you'd actually want a candidate to do, which is, which is like
He's, his campaign and all the stuff that he does hasn't been affected at all by like the, like some of the trivial bullshit that can normally nuke someone's campaign.
And he is like, in spite of his party hating him, like for the most part, just going to the people and using them to obliterate anyone who disagrees.
It's almost like a democracy.
I just disagree with everything else that he's doing. But it's like, it is what you want a guy.
What a politician, I guess.
Yeah.No, I feel like I don't know his votes.I don't know.No, but it feels like there's more deal making.
Usually and then like the kind of the powers that be sort of like a line around a person and like and build them up and funnel money into them Versus this really does feel like he was those powers would be just Get rid of the current president and say you're out We're not even gonna have a primary you are the president
This is vice president's next man up.
It's pretty close.What is it?
The 25th, 26.What is the amendment where the president's on fit? Uh, 23rd, 25th, something, 25th.I don't know, one of those.
I guess they apparently threatened him with that if he didn't agree to stop running this year and let Kamala run, which is interesting because he's still the president.Right.So I guess they didn't believe it.Who knows?
I mean, he's doing, yeah.
I'm just going to go with whoever Dick Cheney and Liz Cheney, you know?
Yeah.They brought us through the darkness once before. They picked us up out of 9-11.Where are you, Coward?
You gonna let me do all this?
I was on the whole New York- You got it now, little.You tossed one in.That was an assist.I did, yeah.I wasn't even done.I was gonna go do the whole Shark Tank guy.
What's the Shark Tank guy?
He was like, if we prosecute for people like this, New York's gonna come to a total standstill.Because this is like common practice.
Yeah.And inflating the value of your property for loans and then deflating them for taxes.
Yeah.And the, but the bank also ran their own, whatever you would call it, appraisal of that building.So it wasn't even like they just took what he said.It's just what he was saying.Yeah.And they still gave him a loan.
He paid it back and then you're going to arrest them.And that, that feels like,
Maybe a political persecution?I don't know.
In a, like, real scary way.
It is the hard part that I am dumb and don't know anything.That's the hard part.That's also the real hard part.Because I'm sure there's somebody that's skewering me right now.It's just fun to argue.Who gives a fuck?They don't know anything either.
They're listening to this.
We could be on some you never know that's just what I feel like is the pushback To Democrats, which is like this the idea that you've got to let smart people just handle it it's like but then you create a precedent for something that
you won't like down the road, like for instance, with Obama, sort of the bombing, the indiscriminate bombing, I suppose.I think he's a violating walls and it's like, well, it's Obama.It's like, yeah, sure.Okay, fine.
I might trust him, but then you're setting a precedent that anybody else can be, you know, yeah.Yeah.
World War III is coming.Those are my favorite memes.It's like Call of Duty footage and it's like me and the boys in the Battle of Beijing 2027 because Taylor Swift told our fucking dumb girlfriends to vote for Climax.
We're all in a fucking boat in Taiwan.Fuck.
That's just you?That was me there.You like that one?Stop giving me credit for your average shit.
You know when I was talking about you today, I was like, you know who is incredibly good with puns and you hide it even though I know you know it because you're smiling.It's crazy, you're pun game.
I've been on the receiving end of quite a few of them, but I was about to us being dumb thing.
I was, uh, I was thinking about that in the car today where I was, I was like, man, I wish people thought I was like really smart.And then I was thinking about how bad it would be if people thought I was really smart.
If people were coming to me with like real problems and being like, you're the only one who can set up that, you gotta set that death ray up in my house.
I can't set the death ray up.
That's the kind of problem.If you got a death ray, I can get over there.I'm going to need you on.
I bought a 10 foot tall fucking skeleton robot for the party.It's going to be exciting.Yeah.Giant alien that looks around.I'm never going to put that thing together.Right.So do you need a ladder for it? No.Pause, I'll get on my hands and knees.
You can stand on my back.We'll be good.
No, you gotta build it on the ground and fucking set it up.
Or it's like one of those things where you like pull a string.
I don't know how the fuck they built the pyramids.You and me can't even figure out the logistics of the spirit Halloween death ray.People are going to be, they're going to watch this spirit Halloween death ray sales are going to go through the roof.
I walked into spirit Halloween.I said, I have to have it. And then I got to the register.I found out how much it costs.It was not worth bringing it back.This is a terrible purchase.
It makes galactic terrifying.
Yeah.It turns out it's more of an alien than a spooky ghost, but that's fine.Yeah.This guy, 10 feet tall.Whoa.That's cool.You're going to like it.Yeah.You're going to like what's going on over at my house.Okay.
That's going to scare the goats.
It is.I am worried about the goats.
They're going to get hit with the galactic death ray.
The neighbor's goats are going to, they're going to, they're going to have it.Oh, there's so much to put together on this fucking death ray, dude.Look at this.We're ruined.
You're going to do great.
And you don't need a ladder.
It's 10 feet tall.I'm going to bring my mountain bike over to your place at one point.
You told me this.Yeah.You're not going to be riding it around on my property.All right.Fine.Please park across the street.
You don't want, you don't want to see that.
Obviously I want them riding around.
I was running around on it.It ran up that one hill and it's, there's some holes.I don't want to hurt myself.I would wear a lot of protection.You would make fun of it.It's something that like, again, what kind of protection do you wear?
When I'm down bike, I wear a like knee and sh. It's a great exercise.It's like hockey shin guards.Yeah.Cause if you, the pedals, if you have like a pedal stroke, if your foot slides off, it slams your shin.It happened once.It hurts.It really hurts.
What about upper body?Uh, elbow pads.And then I wear like full face helmet and you wear the full face.Yeah.I'm bad. With the goggles?Yeah.I have to, because otherwise my contact dries out.It's too much, but you know what?
I have fun, and I haven't gotten hurt yet.No, that's awesome.
Shut up.No, I swear.Please do.When I go to Harmony Hill, I bike there, and a lot of times guys will be like, where are the jumps?And I'm like, there's no jumps.It's just, I'm bad.Because full face, you're typically going over jumps.
Yeah, they think you're catching air.
He's got to tell him go back you got to go deep in there.
Oh That's very adorable Not like not formally.Oh, I've had a mountain bike and I've gone on some trails.Oh Tito up here.Yeah.Hi, buddy.
Run.Run.I do want you to bring that.All right.Yeah, that'd be nice.Just find some berms.I'd like to see you in pads riding a bike around my property.
Did I tell you that last Halloween?
You could do a lap pretty quick.
I was, like, I did, I liked sort of like practicing in my street right outside my driveway.You know, like, going set up.
Yeah, like cone set up to do slalom to like practice your weight shift on the bike.
Your neighbors see you do this.
I was handing out candy and then these like kids come in and they're like, how's the bike going?I'm like, good, good, good.
Which means them and their parents sit in the window and laugh yeah and watch me yeah, have you fallen off the Yeah, how fast are you going feels fast it's probably incredible I I bet you're flying.
I showed you that picture of me trying to bunny hop.I barely get off the ground because I think you got to go the video.
Yeah.I don't have the speed.
I could never bunny hop.I could never Ollie.
I could never Ollie either.
Yeah.It sucked.It was really because, you know, you wanted to bully skater kids and then not being able to Ollie.I just wanted to be able to Ollie.
Yeah, you don't want to bully anyone.No.You're a sweetheart.Thanks.Yeah.This episode is brought to you by PrizePix, the best place to get real money sports action.PrizePix, run your game.
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Turn your opinions into real money all season long on prize picks.I like that.I like that you can, you know, hit someone with a less.I'm sick of this guy.This guy's a punk.Yeah, dude.
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Download the prize picks app today and use code drench to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup That's code drenched on prize picks app to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup prize picks run your game Yeah, now let's get back to that exhilarating pocket More like we got nothing It's been a long day
Yeah, I had a long drive and a fight about Halloween costumes.Yeah, there's nothing wrong with that.
How many more times do you think you'll have that fight before?
We'll see how Halloween goes.No, I genuinely actually don't care.
It's just more of a, might be weird.Yeah.
You might want to have a backup.
Yeah.Which I think they're going to, because it's probably going to be cold.
Yeah.Sweatpants, hoodie.I'll be there.Yeah.So here's a cloak.
Quarterback jacket on the side.
Yeah, we'll all go as mages What do you I've got to have something I got any fun Halloween stories you go trick-or-treating I told you I went trick-or-treating the one year When I was a Philadelphia Eagle, yeah And then I saw it was you know, like a split house, you know the way the stair well, whatever I door opens up
Yeah, guy is coming down the steps.He's in a full gorilla costume.And I remember seeing his hand going to like the glove of the costume.I was just telling myself, like, it's a man.It's not a real girl.It's a man.
And then he started walking at me and I just like turn around, start crying and running.
Yeah.Sprinting away.Yeah.How old were you?I don't know.That was I was probably five.My brother was Urkel that year. Did he go the distance?No, not the distance.No, no, no.But he would like perform it.
You had the little UNICEF things and he'd be like, yeah, they put it in like, do you have any cheese?Did he want the face paint?No, that never came up.
Thank God.Because that could have easily happened.
Back then, people were like, yeah, fuck it.
Of course.Yeah.You could do the whole costume.I was Diceman that one year.That was the superhero I created.
Oh, I thought you meant you went as Dice Clay.I was like, sick.
That's right. I one year was a prisoner.That was second grade.I had a distance on the prisoners because then it might be racist.You got to make it believable.
And I had a big crush on my second grade teacher.And she was also dressed as a prisoner.So we walked around the school.Yeah.And that that was incredible.She one time I came in in the morning, she was like, I drove by your house.
I guess your house the other day, cause I saw you outside shooting baskets.Cause I was like playing basketball with my brother after school.And for like a month, I just played basketball every day.Just hoping she'd drive by.
It's just like total Huck Finn stuff.You know, like doing cartwheels in front of them.Did you ever have a crush on a teacher?
Um, yeah.Uh, what was her name?Uh,
We had an Australian exchange teacher, and I loved her.Fourth grade, I spoke with an Australian accent the entire school year.
Oh my God.Did you ever share a moment with her?
I mean, we got ice cream.That's nice.But there was a couple other fucking cock blocks.A couple other fourth graders.
I feel like I was so bad at school.I like knew better.Like a teacher was unattainable for me.I never had a crush.Like I always, every interaction I had with the teacher was a fight or just, you know, bad news.
I never like, yeah, you were bad in school.
Like you're the whole time, the whole time you were dumb in like fifth grade.
Not even dumb.Just, I just never did any of the work.
Yeah.Yeah.I just, I like, I couldn't do it.I couldn't be in class.I couldn't like the whole.That's fucked up.Yeah.The whole thing would just bothered me.
And then every once in a while I would like, like when I really got in, you know, back against the wall, I'd put together like a good semester or something, but it was always, my entire life was just terrible.It's kind of surprising.
Yeah, but maybe you are dumb.This has been our entire friendship.I'm like, Chris is smart.And I hear shit like this.I'm like, you were dumb in fourth grade.You know, you have to actually be dumb. I just don't, it's, it's a lack of discipline.
You have to actually be dumb.That's crazy.
Well, I was never like at risk of failing out or anything like that, but it was just, I'm not doing that.Yeah.I just couldn't, dude, I remember taking just like the multiplication tests.
You know what I mean?Where you just do like as many as you, 60 problems, do as many as you can in a minute.
The mad minute.And I like, I just remember by number two, I was like, you're going too slow.You're never going to get to 60.And then it would just like, it just turned into like, I would just beat the living shit out of myself until 15, 20. Yeah.
It was like, it was that thing.I feel like I have the same like problem too.When I like, when I try to remember something and like my, if it doesn't come to me right away, I start going like, Oh my God, you can't remember anything.
You're going to like, I, and all I'm thinking about is not remembering.
Oh, well like lines in a show.Yeah.Yeah.That's impossible.
Even just people's names, people's names.
So embarrassing.The worst is when something you think you you're like in your head, you're like, I got that.Yeah, walking in a room be like, Hey, yeah, then you have to do it.I mean, I guess that's what acting is.But it's hard to walk in like,
Start over.I'm sorry, everybody.I'm sorry, everyone.I suck.
Yeah.And you're like thinking about how you're going to be reacting to their line, but instead you're just thinking of what your line is.
Or you react way too early. We should put together that instead of a blooper reel, just how bad we all are at acting.It must be insane.
John constantly.I would just say slow down to hear what they're saying.
It's the worst feeling when like this person has not even done their line yet and you're looking at the other person ready for them to talk.
Yeah, it sucks.God.It's also funny how much better John is at acting.I'm like, John, how do I do it again?He's like, I'm like, all right, I'll do it.
Fuck.And it's the first thing that pops into my head the moment I fuck up is like, I just imagined John like behind that, just like.
Yeah, Kirby's.What else is going on there?
Ah, not much.Again, I apologize for being so boring.
We're all boring.Yeah.It's, you know, kind of wake up.I go to my trailer.Oh, so.Oh, God. Well, as a joke-ish, kinda, no.
A joke to yourself, by yourself?
No, okay, it wasn't a joke.I do like the song.
I put on, you know, the trailers have Bluetooth, so you can put your music on.Yeah, yeah.So I was listening to... I hadn't figured that out yet.
I didn't know that.I'm in there eating a bucket of scrambled eggs. There was no like potatoes or like I thought it was a meal right it was he put they put scrambled eggs in every pocket of the Yeah, I got 10 pounds of
Scrambled eggs with nothing, no ketchup, just... Anyway, that was funny.Yeah.That was the worst thing in a golf story.I had a lot of eggs once.
It was a comical amount of... It was a comical amount of eggs, yeah.
It was a crazy amount of eggs.And he knew it was crazy, he said it.Yeah.He was like, he said scrambled eggs.When I went to the catering thing, everyone was like, that's a ton of eggs.
You gotta feel for that guy too.
It's for Shane.He's eating fucking 20 eggs before he films.
Yeah. I like the idea that he's like screaming at the runner.What the fuck am I supposed to do?
You want to hand him a bucket full of fucking eggs?
Yeah, he'll eat it.Look at him.He'll eat a box of eggs right now.
You know, I get a call.Hold on.What were you listening to in that trailer?
Big time by Peter Gabriel.Yeah.
No, that's that.I was not wearing a robe.They put the robe in there.
I mean, I was, you know, I like that song, but I grew up in a small town.Everybody has small town ideas.Not me.I'm big time.That was you.
Yeah.I just imagine you sliding around like Tom Cruise in that trailer. That's what I'm saying.
I kind of have a little big time right now with, you know, Shane and whatever.Okay.So, so anyway, uh, I get a call and she was like, Oh, just checking to see where you are.And I'm like, I'm on my way there.
I thought it was supposed to be there at eight 30.She's like, no.Or it was like seven 30.She's like, no, you're supposed to be there at like seven.It's like shit.And then I'm just thinking, I hope Shane isn't there. You know?Yeah.
And by pulling, I see his car.I'm like, fuck.So then I ran, it wasn't like a far way to run.I ran just to like, he can't even see me walking at this hour.And I come into the makeup hair and makeup trailer.
And the first thing Allie says, she's like, Oh, she was like, yesterday, Steve came in here and was like, I'm having such a good hair day.I was like, Allie,
We're having nothing but private conversations when I talk to you I don't like hearing these stories about you That you're this confident like what are you doing?I like to have a good time talking What you hate having a good time?
No, I like to have different times of good times than you have you know He hates a good time It's a crowded, good time.And I love a good time during the day outside.Yeah, you should go by myself.
Guys that don't talk a lot.
I would love to see Steve forcing you to mountain bike.
Can't happen. I mean, a bike could be, I like, that'd be fun.But I will say I might, I would like to join, I would like to go out with you and some strangers.
And golf. Love to go with you.
Hey, there is a lady you can go out.She's so at the country club.What do you mean?
There's a terrible woman there's a there is one terrible and everybody's told me this person is terrible and I had a run-in with her Yeah, and she was just like really aggressive and rude.
There was a there was a frost delay So everybody was kind of in the clubhouse She's like, oh, you're that guy from Netflix.I saw you in a golf cart playing too slow, parked too close to the ground.I was like, what are you talking about?Really?Yeah.
I was like, I play faster than you.And then she's like, no, you don't.She's just rude.You're getting country club fights.You are Mr. Big Time.Well, apparently this one has been kicked out of previous country clubs.Really?Yeah.
You don't have a permanent record?Why are they accepting these people?This one is corporate owned. So the other one was like owned by its members.This one's corporate owned.So it's apparently harder to remove her.
But anyway, this one guy was overhearing it and we were talking and then went up to the driving range and he comes up and I'm telling everybody about this woman.Everybody's piping in with their own stories about her.
And then he goes, yeah, Steve had that interaction.Then he asked for a number and it just crushed.Everybody was laughing.
Just the guys at the country club having a good laugh. But yeah, she's something else, man. She's a battle act.She is a battle act.Me and her are going to join forces.I'm going to burn that country club to the ground.
They're going to be so happy if you come.I'm just going to come and ruin your, let's get a foursome.
No, I don't want you to ruin it.
Two strangers.Who are your buddies?Yeah, I have two buddies.Get your best buddies to come with us.Okay.I'm going to drink an entire case of beer.Puke on the country club.On the green.Puke everywhere.
That's funny.Brayden, did you park too close to the green?
No, no, not even a little.She's just making stuff up.
She definitely is making stuff up.
She just out of nowhere accused you made up stuff.
She accused everyone of stuff.It doesn't matter.No, I don't park too close to the green.No. I'm rules-oriented.Was it paths only that day?
Chris, how do I know?Was it paths only?
No, I don't know what day it was.They've got signage everywhere if it's paths only.She's a crazy person.I have no idea what day she was talking about.Were you on the path?Again.What day?I don't know. Oh, yeah.She didn't say today.
Oh, she just said she saw you the other day.Parked a Netflix.I saw Mr. Big.
She said, Hey, Netflix, you chirped back.I did and I regretted it immediately.
Nice.Yeah.I mean, I'm proud of you for chirping back.Thank you.Yeah.
You should, you should do a staggered start.You start first or she starts first.I don't care.Just be on her ass.And just, yeah.
And see who plays, see who plays fast.Try to hit her with a golf ball.Send her a message.Dust her off the plate a little.
Give her a little chin music.You want to go?
Yeah.Can you do that?Can you, can you find a particular slot after her and try to play through her just to demonstrate that you be your pace of play?
I've never thought about that.What's it?Can she hit the wall?
I have never seen her physically good.
She's been getting kicked out of country clubs.She obviously played a lot.She's probably nice.What'd she look like?Is she older?
Yes, how old yes, I would have to guess 60 Old enough to be yeah, not like I gave in the stories.I thought I was gonna see like a very old demented woman and it was like 60 ish put together.
No big dog Wild Yeah, I would if she was hot this would be nice She's a totally different vibe.Yeah, you're gone.Yes.Yes, mommy.I'm sorry mommy.Yeah, you wanna play together Yeah And you're saying that car girls are ugly.You said that car.
I didn't say they were ugly.No.You told me all the car girls were ugly.No, I didn't, you stupid.
Dude, I didn't do any of that.Time out.This lady, wait, hold on a second.Go ahead.
You said the car girls have a lot to be desired.And I said, what do you mean?You said that they're not hot.
You said all the guys at the country club laugh.They say the girls are ugly.
I didn't say any of that.
They said they get it.Why are you acting like this if you didn't say it?
Did I say it?I don't know.
Maybe you did.That's the problem with corporate ownership.Are the car girls hot there?
Have you never seen them?
I try not to look too much because, you know, I'm 41 now.You know, I don't want to, I don't like being that guy.It's like, Oh, did you see that snapper or whatever it is?You know?
Fuck calls it snap this guy that used to run Chuckles comedy You don't you respect to the car girls, yeah, I try you don't you don't look at I look at I just say I go like this, you know But when you look at them, you would tell pretty quickly if they were attractive or not.
Yeah, are they attractive?
I don't have great vision
Meeting at the club the big dogs gonna be there in the ugly car girls We can't get this person out.
I like the idea that you show a lot of attorneys there I
I like the idea that you show up on Saturday and all the car girls are hot.
Yeah.We heard Mr. Big time doesn't like how attractive the girls are.
We're about to lose them.Yeah. They never have uncrustables.
They don't have uncrustables?Never.
You've never had one?No, I've had them.
At the country club?At the country club.
Yeah.I thought it was all just like nuts and pretzels and stuff.
No, no, they have uncrustables.They never stock them.
Oh, so the uncrossables are gone.It's probably the big dog.Big dog gets there early.
I'll tell you what, if we get, if you come, we get paired with the big dog, I'm drinking with you.Yes.That I would do.How come you can't drink?Because I love golf.It's just like, I don't want to, I love it.And I don't want to be buzzed doing it.Yeah.
You don't want to disrespect the game.It's not even disrespected.
It's just like, I just want to play your best.
And it just, I feel like a kid.One or two might loosen you up.
I know I've heard that from a lot of people, but fucking alcoholics, there's a frost delay and people like, well, I guess I'm having a Long Island iced tea.It's like, damn.
Yeah, you will.You got to at nine at the turn, you got to reevaluate.Yeah.
Every time this thing's not going anywhere.
You got to mix it up. Yeah, she was like hit.She's saying something.No one talked about her game at all.Like she doesn't know.
Apparently she plays fast so she can play.If they're all calling her a piece of shit and not one person was like, yeah, and she sucks.She's probably good.Do you guys have a tournament?Yeah.When?
I don't know.I think it's past, but yeah, we do.
Oh, give me the, give me the date.I'm going to turn that into the waste management.
I keep forgetting how popular the pod is.Like, yeah, you could bring people out.
We could have a nice meeting the dog.We could bring, we could have a dog's meet up at your country club tournament.Is it, is it going to be make it public? All right.Next year, ugly fucking car girls serving us.They're not ugly.I would not know.
I don't even know the word.You don't know about car.They're pretty great.
I didn't know.I didn't know about that.Beautiful Queens.I always thought the pros just handled by beautiful Queens.
I mean, very young.Oh yeah.High school kids.Yeah.Now that I'm saying it, I take it back.Now that I'm saying it, I take it back.Yeah.
Cause lots of, they are like high school.Yeah.
Oh man.You're calling high school girls ugly.
Impressive no, I'm saying I don't even know if they're there You know attractive or ugly given.
Yeah, I'd not I say whatever Tell everyone you guys are Great
Man, I'd love to see out there.I'd love to go with you cuz I'm gonna fuck it up for you And you're gonna get unreasonably angry
I would be reasonably angry if you fucked it up.You know, it's fun to make a score.I love like the tension of it.I don't think Jimmy putts.I love like making everything.
I understand the thrill of it.
Yeah.You're like, Ooh, I can almost beat my best score.When I was playing with those old ladies, I was about, I was coming.If I had parred the last hole, I was going to shoot an 80.Oh, really?Yeah.
I tell everybody like that I'm playing with what's going on so builds attention What did they say to you after you triple quadruple bogey the last hole you couldn't find it? Cause like, you know, I obviously I hit one OB.
It was just you and old women golfing.Yeah.You were charming them, weren't you?They were charming me.You were charming them.
And we were having the time.
They were so nice.They would just like keep poking the ball forward.I love that.And then, uh, just worm burners.Yeah.Yeah.And there's one hole, this one hole, it's like really hard.I got, I got on the green too.
And she, she turned to me, she was like, Where'd you go?I was like, I'm on the green.She's like, I was like, yes, they were just, isn't that nice.
That's wholesome.That's wholesome fun.
Yeah.And then you went home and pounded your cock. What porn you find on reddit you fucking deviant?Do you ever look at like thumbnails and think oh, that's for later.Yeah. because usually you might have that idea of like, Oh, that's for later.
Like you're saying next beat or we're going to keep this be gone.I'm going to start with this and go to that.
No, I'm saying for later.
Yeah.Yeah.I, but then you come and you're like, I'm never going to Jack off again.
Oh, no, I was, I was saying if, well, I don't remember it.
Oh, you're saying you see, wait, you're looking at porn when you're not jacking off.
You're like, I'm keeping this crazy deal.Sometimes, do you know X video?It's rare.It's rare.
It's all we have now.Texas way.They took a porn.
We'll see.I'm not a big porn hub guy.Cause to me that's all like, you know what you're getting wild card in there.X videos throws a wild card and I'm into all that.Yeah.So sometimes, But yeah, they'll have some thumbnails that you go, that.
And you're just, when are you doing this?What do you mean?So you're not jacking off, you're just looking at porn.Correct.Where would you be in the world while you're doing something like that?
Sometimes it'll be like in my lawn chair recliner, watching golf or something on TV.Just toss some porn on.I don't toss it on.I go to the website.So, you know. And you just, you see what's new.Yeah.Yeah.Yeah.Yeah.Yeah.
Sometimes, you know, when you're not in the mood, you let it get you.It's not like I'm checking it.Like I'm checking for messages.
I know, but I just liked the idea of sitting in a lawn chair.I mean, like, yeah, I am going to Jack off.Yeah.All right. We've got that settled.
Yeah, because sometimes the search is so frantic when you're in the midst of it that you want sometimes you want a detached, objective appraisal of what's out there.
And you're doing this too.
It's almost like a mental joke.What?What?Yeah.You know what?Remember when Matt was on his jelking kick?
Yeah.Yeah.And you're edging.Edging is more than, you're thinking more edging.
Jelking, I think, is pulling your dick to try to make it bigger over, like, actually stretching.Edging, yeah.And you do this?
Definitely.Yeah, every once in a while.
Where do you do it?Just, like, while you're hanging out on the couch or something?
Yeah.I mean, I haven't done this in public.I haven't done it recently, but I used to, I used to like when I was totally not in the mood, just be like, let's see, I'm going to be in the mood.Yeah.
And you would find a video.
Let me look at the menu, because I've got reservations later.
My girlfriend's going to leave the house for 30 minutes, five hours.
That is a lot of times when all... Of course.Yep.I know she's going to be out or something.
She's going to be gone tonight.Yep.No, it's me time. I haven't had me time in a while.I haven't had me time in fucking forever.This is gonna be great.That is nice when you're in a relationship and you get to catch a beat.Yeah.Brings back to fun.
Man, I remember this.Yeah.
You don't have to watch someone be disappointed.
You don't like when you disappoint your lover.
Why that's just a funny thing to ask?That's all it's just a funny question to ask yeah.Now I don't way.I look at it.She better get hers.I'm gonna get my that's about the Bernie Mac said on that is as funny as it gets.
He in his kings of comedy said he has like a cock joke, which I don't even know they're making those back then.I don't even he does it at one at one point.
I said he's like he's like y'all fucking for forty five minutes. What you got to prove?Three minutes, that's all it takes.And she better get hers, because I'm going to get mine.
She's like, I'm going to go get a younger man.
Go get it, bitch. I'll watch, I'll be in the corner.
That is hilarious.God damn.
The Kings of Comedy.He's the best.Bernie Mac sets.The Def Jam one?No, it's Kings of Comedy.
Do you remember the one he's set from the Apollo?Yeah.I'm not afraid of you.
I ain't scared of you.That could be a fun thing to rewatch.It's just the Bernie Mac show.
Yeah, I'm sure it's great.
Yeah. Yeah, did that come?
Oh, man, I miss Matt.We need Matt.
Yeah, he's so best quarter what he's up to.I wonder what he's got going. You know, he is, he's a guest.What do you think he's up to?He's up to something.
Yeah.He's always like working on something.He's working on like, so learning instruments is, I can't believe how good he is at instruments.I don't know when he picked that up.Was that late in life?
Yeah.Where do you find the time?And then he's always, I like, I was dabbling a little bit.
Yeah.Oh really?Like since he was a kid.Yeah. I was dabbling a little bit in the, uh, that Jungian psychology stuff.I meant to talk to him about it.Like the dark, your shadow self.
Yeah.I don't, I don't like that stuff.
You would, if you read some of this stuff, of course, I just like the ones that.
Affirm my beliefs.Yeah.Yeah.Not anything that questions it.
No, I, I, I was, I was reading this book.
Healthy way to live.Nothing challenging.
Yeah.But this, it is, they're like, uh, I was reading a book that I guess young had like put together with his, some of his students or whatever.
And it's just, it's just page after page of it's like locker room pump up speeches about just battling inner demons.It does get you fired. the fuck up.That's good.Yeah.It's, it's fun to, that's how you get hooked in.
Cause they don't really make arguments that they're right.They're just like, here's the thing.Here's the thing.Here's the thing.This thing.Yeah.
Whatever happened with you two, you guys were intellectuals for a while.Yeah.Sam Harris guys.Yeah.Once you guys like space Elon Musk space guys.Yeah.Whatever happened.Oh, you turned on him cause he bought Twitter.
I still watch the SpaceX launches.I saw them land the, uh, super heavy.
It was fucking awesome.Thing on Elon Musk worked a little.People that don't know him at all are like, yeah, fuck that guy.It worked.The hippies.Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
They did a good job of tarnishing his, I mean, not that he, he's out there doing some, he's out there, but he certainly picked a side.Yeah.
He's out there doing some wacky stuff, but I still like the ice like when he whenever he tweets the Tesla's doing well, I get excited whenever he tweets about the SpaceX.I get pumped.
You guys are intellectuals, though.You're big Sam Harris, man.Yeah, it's just.
Yeah.If you're you're asking like what happened, it's the same thing, I think, with comedy where you're just like, I'm not good at this.
Honestly, like, uh, to try and have an actual, an opinion on something educated, it's really hard and not turn into like a douche.
It's just like, that's what you guys were up against.You guys were about to be going toe to toe with that.Cause that's where the intellectual thing eventually goes.Yeah.Matt does a good job with it.Cause Matt's very funny about it.
But if you pursue the intellectual, what are you going to give a fucking speech?
Yeah, it's brutal.And yeah.And you, and then what your whole identity sort of kind of gets wrapped up in it to where it's really difficult to getting focused on trying to change other people's minds sucks.
I think getting worried about, yeah, you're basically worrying what's going on.Oh, Worried about like, yeah, trying to change someone's mind sucks.That's what I like.Matt's intellectual stuff is personal.It's a personal journey.
Yeah.Especially because he's telling me most of the time, and I'm always like, yeah, I don't like that.He's like, that's fine if you don't like it.I don't.Let's talk about football.That's what people want on our podcast.They want football.
Yeah, but you do a little bit of the same thing.
I feel like you're like a historical intellectual.
I thought I was till I opened my fucking mouth on a podcast and then read comments.Turns out I don't know shit.
Yeah, but did they know anything?
No.They're commenting on the internet.
Sometimes you got to read a story about a guy and then some people do.
Yeah.Yeah.Every once while a dork will fucking drill you on YouTube and be like, fuck, they'll put a link in there.Damn, I was wrong.Yeah.Way out of line.
But then you get to be right.Once you read the thing.
Yeah.Oh, you change your mind.Yeah.You were wrong.
Yeah.You grow.You can change.I'm still waiting for that day.It's still waiting for that day.
Well, I think we've probably hit a wall on this one.Yeah, we're deep.Gerby's got any uh, gross shit you're up to?I don't.I do like to hear about your sexual ways.I know.It's okay if you don't have any.You've been busy.
You're probably tired from work.It is.That's why I feel so bad.You haven't been able to pleasure your woman as much because you've been tired.
It's yeah, there's just not a lot.
Do you just lay on the bed and Let her have at it.
No.Do you lay down again?No, I can do some groundwork.Go ahead.Do what you will.
Yeah, apologize.No, stop, dude.You're fine.
There's nothing to apologize about.I feel like you hit it right on the head.Our whole day is doing something that we shouldn't be talking about.
And then the rest of the day, I just, I stare vacantly.I've been watching Harry Potter, that's it.
It is fun.Harry Potter is good.
Dumbledore dies and Snape's the fucking man.
I know that going into it.
As soon as Sadie told me, she was like, we're watching Harry Potter, Chris has never seen it.I was like, Dumbledore dies.
And you actually did not know that. Knew Snape was a good.
I knew Dumbledore.I think I'd take all the stuff I've sort of seen on one level or another, but I haven't like actually watched the movies The pre-order fucking rules.
Yeah, they're really good order of the Phoenix was fucking awesome and fucking Dumbledore fucking hit just disappearing with the Phoenix?Sick.
I don't remember which ones are which.I remember I farted real loud during a Harry Potter, because my friends loved Harry Potter, so we would go to like the midnight showings.
And in Harry Potter, I hit a nice fart on a silent moment.It became a thing I liked to do, was fart as loud as I could during... And this was back when movie theaters were packed, you know?Yeah.Yeah.And yeah, it's very fun.That's hilarious.
Silent moment for it.Yes.Did you get a laugh?Yeah.
You get a big laugh. That's one of my favorite videos ever, is a guy farting.
Were you at all at risk of shitting your pants?No.
You know me.You know how I hit farts, bro.
What are you doing?My favorite video is a guy farting during Oppenheimer.At the fucking, when they press it, it's like, three, two, it's just silent before the bomb goes off.There's a video of a guy farting, and like six people are in the theater.
There's a guy in the front, all the way by himself, like,
It's just it's wonderful because they wasted the movies 90 hours long and they finally got the most important part of guys like Yeah, it's great It's fun stuff me and soda went to a down syndrome movie theater once when we were on the road I always thought those were fiction they exist everybody everyone working their head down.
It's like popcorn guy Oh ticket guy everybody And, uh, which was great.They were pumped.You go in, they're like, what movie are you going to see?I forget what it was.They're like, it's fucking incredible.It's going to win best picture, I think.
But we got in there and the guy farted real loud and we were fucking dying laughing, like for out the whole movie we were laughing because it was just, it was an empty, we were, we were in like Albany, New York or one of these places on the road and just during the day saw a movie.
So the theater's empty other than us and like a guy, like three rows behind us. And he farted.So we were howling, laughing the rest of the movie.We couldn't stop laughing.And then at the very end, I looked back up when we were all getting ready.
I was like, who did this?I can't wait to see this man.And he also was mentally disabled, zipping up and down.Shouldn't have been making fun of that guy.
Yeah, dude.I bet that place ran smoothly.
It did.Yeah.They were hyped.Yeah.Everybody was happy to work there.
Popcorn, soda, popcorn, soda, stoke on every movie.Yeah.Every movie for free.It kept coming in to watch the movie.Just a mop coming in for 45 minutes.I got shit to go back to work.It's a good, good gig.Well, That's good.Yeah.We'll get some more.
We'll get fired up.We'll get a daytime one.Yeah.
Where we're a little more.Yeah.We'll think of something funny.We can get Kyle on.She's under the weather.Everyone's fucking sick.Yeah.There's gonna be some rough takes this week.Kylo is sick as fuck.
There's gonna be some lines in the show where she's like, all right, well, we'll be back.
Yeah.We'll get it.We'll get it next week.We'll get a daytime one.Maybe a weekend one.Weekend one would be nice.He threw a couple of brewskis.
A couple of brewskis in there.
Yeah.So... You can have three.I'm out.I'm unconscious.Just like it.I don't know how you guys do it.No, no, no.
If it's... Alright, I'll have a couple.
It's pretty easy.Alright, yeah.You don't have to.You drink and have the best time of your life every single time.You take four days off and go, what the fuck?Being sober sucks.I'm gonna get fucked up as soon as Friday is done.
And then it's also a help if politics comes up, you don't look at the floor and go, yeah, it is complicated.
You're a fucking dumbass.I actually, no, I listened to Tim Dillon. No, I was jealous before.It's almost like when you're single, jacking off is kind of sad.
The same way like drinking when you don't have really work during the day is kind of like, God damn, what am I doing?Now you work Monday through Friday, you go, I got to be sober.Friday is going to fucking rule.You know what I mean?It's back.
The thrill is back.And Saturday can rule.Saturday's going to rock, dude.The Halloween party?
I might kill you at the Halloween party.
Yeah, you got to kill me.Yeah.
Sunday is the real that's the question I Almost I almost fell on Sunday.I was just sitting by myself watching the Eagles.I'd that Fridge full of beer for the night I could.I could have a couple.I got a text that was like, 7 a.m.call time.
I can't have one or I'll quit the show.
That's the scary.Sunday is the scariest because you go, I'm so hungover.One would actually help.Just one.One would actually level me out.
Holy shit, I'm back.Two is going to make me feel even better.We're rolling. All right, we gotta stop.Kirby, you gotta go to bed.I gotta go to the gym.Nice.Oh, you're jacked this season.No, I'm not jacked.Getting your clothes tailored.
You're gonna be the most handsome guy.
I feel so much better if I... Of course.
Yeah.I'll leave you alone.All right.Thank you, Steven.Thank you.You seem really sad about this.
I... because I know how, like, much you're carrying here, and I don't want... I'm not carrying anything.Yeah.
This is you know, yeah, we'll get another one going.All right Yeah, what are you talking about?You carry this with your golf stuff?I got it.
I gotta come prepare with a list Really?Yeah, I gotta do better for you.
You better for you.You'll be able to think of some stuff All right.Well, but we'll may well you and I will make a list next time.All right All right, compare notes.
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