The sunroom, it's beautiful here, but I don't want us, me to have to bring in like a couch in.I'm not going to sit like this for eight hours of college football.
This chair is phenomenal.It's game day, Steve.It's a comfy chair.Yeah, it really is great.But even in that chair, you can only get Maybe four hours of college football done.
You need to elevate the legs.
You got to lay down for the 8 o'clock games.OK.Especially Notre Dame-Stanford's going to be a nice boring one.
My new friend is watching the games today.
Your new friend is watching football today?
I'm making all sorts of friends at this country club.
You're making friends at the country club?
They're just like, so you made a friend at the country club today and they told you they were going to watch college football later.
Today was the first time.Are we, are we recording?Yes, we weren't.This is not the first time that we've played.This was the first time we scheduled to play together.
And you guys set that up.You said, Hey, do you want to play together?
Yes.Yeah.Cause it is actually, if you could, if you're playing with people that aren't, you know, like man, they're like man, children or stuff like that.Like you could play with like real bummer.
What do you mean by a man child?
Like, like grown men that get like really upset when they start playing poorly.
Oh God.Yeah.Fucking uncomfortable.I thought you meant dudes that were out there having fun.
Drinking a little now.Like they, they forbid that at your country club.
No, no, no.Some guys very much do that.
I love it.You'd have such a golf's fun when you're drunk.
No, no. No, it is for a little bit and then your game falls apart.
One of my favorite stories of all time was you not playing and getting drunk with your friends.
My friends had a very serious golf competition.They split into two teams and then me and my one friend O'Leary, who wasn't playing, just drove a golf cart back and forth watching them.
Just getting hammered, just screaming at them while they were playing.They got like really, they became mad children.
They're like, fuck my fucking backswing, dude.
Shut the fuck up.You hit like a 120.They for real shot like 120s.And I was like, you can't be upset.Yeah.Yeah.That's it.Yeah.Like you just put it in the cart in reverse during the backswing.It's so good.
That is the most, the backswing thing drives me crazy.Especially when I like, I've never played with anyone who's nearly good enough to justify.Yeah.Yeah. It's like, you're not that focused and you're not that good.
Yeah.But for that noise, you would have no.
So anyway, but you made a friend.
I did.He's cool.Yeah.He's just like, cool.I have like one other friend that I made more friends.Yeah.
So tomorrow I'm going to country clubs like a dog park.You're meeting friends.
No, no, no, no.I was like normal, you know?
Yeah.So what were you saying before we got started about, you said something about sex. Oh, well, because you were talking about Tim Walz.Oh, Tim Walz being called a pedophile on the internet today.
I don't, I don't know.I don't think it's, I, you know, it sounds like it's, it's just a tweet.So you never know.I would say it's definitely not true, but who knows?It's those guys seemed fucking serious.
He's got a little bit of that face going on.That's a tough one.
I don't subscribe to that at all.Cause I feel like I have that face.No, no, no, no, no, no.If you were a chubby.Yeah, no.If you were chubby, you'd look fucked up.Yeah.You got like dark eyelashes.Yeah. He looks like you're wearing eyeliner.
I know.I know people like occasionally I get accused of that very serious of what wearing eyeliner.Oh no.And there's no talking somebody out of that.Yeah.
Here's the source.You pour water on it.What do you do?You can't, you just go like, dude, I'm not.But then you also don't want to justify, you know, feed, feed into it.
This guy said, okay, Tim, I guess now would be a good time to drop my October surprise. You remember him, right?The real person you walked away- the real reason you walked away from teaching.The kid who spent the night at your home?
The one you went to the gay bar with?The reason the school board had a meeting about you?What do you think, Tim?Should I drop that now or should I wait another week or so?You know the student you were having sex with?
The male student you were having sex with?They don't call you Touchdown Timmy because you're the football coach.Oh wait, you lied about that also. You were the assistant coach.What do you think, Tim?You remember the Indigo Girls concert, right?
The gay bar?Spending the night, and of course, the school board meeting?I think it's time, Tim.Touchdown, Timmy.You were touchy all right.Did I write this?This is really good.Who wrote, was that like a school?
Yeah, just rewinding your special.
That was from the very reliable black insurrectionist, I follow back, Patriots.
That's a reliable source.Does he follow you?No, I don't know.I didn't check.I didn't check.Although he might've got a follow from me after this.That's quality work.Touchdown, Timmy.But he's right.That is the one thing that bothered me.
Stealing head coach Valor's crazy.He said he was a head coach and he was assistant.Yeah, he was assistant. Who's a high school assistant football coach?Maybe you want to put one of those guys at the White House.
Those are literally the biggest retards.Tim Waltz?Yeah.Oh, the vice president.Yes. Not yet, liberal.
You seem to be vice president.
Oh yeah, I forgot you're Redfield.
I thought you guys were talking about like a coach for a football team or something.
No, we're talking about touchdown Timmy Walls.Gotcha.
He was a coach for a football team and he led them to the state championship.It was an offensive driven.
He's the offensive coordinator?They made this video where it looks like he was the coach.
Oh, sorry.This is not good for podcasting, but watch. Oh, look at that ball spin.They found the one clip of him.
Like he won.Like he was the coach.
He did.Maybe the head coach was just kind of a figurehead.You know, he was like late days paterno.
I guess he might have been exactly.
Walked right into that one.
You think a gay pedophile could have been the defensive coordinator?Touching on Timmy Walls. That's a tough allegation.Was he the D coordinator?I don't know.I hope not for his sake.A little Sandusky action for you.
What does a head coach do of a football team?
It depends on what they, it, it varies.Okay.Sometimes they're the play callers.Sometimes they call the defense.Sometimes they don't do either and they just kind of make the final call on things.Interesting.
So I was like, yeah, yeah.
Like, I don't know.I don't know if Marcus Freeman for Notre Dame calls plays at all.I think he was Den Brock on offense and golden, right?He probably helps with the defense anyway.
I thought he did for, I thought he like took over last year or something calling defensive plays or something.
I don't think.Al Gore was pretty good.
Yeah.Now what was the sexual thing, Steven?Cause we were talking about Timmy Walls being possibly a gay pedophile.
Uh, what I was saying, cause you, you had mentioned that there was some.I think he was taking an LGBT club from his high school to China with him on some trips.Allegedly.Crazy allegations.He's going to Thailand.What was it?
I was just saying that it's very hard to not fool yourself into what you're doing to have sex with people. That didn't come out right.
Yeah.Yeah.Not trick yourself.
Yeah.To not lie to yourself about what your actual motives are to really, it's like, I'm trying to have sex with somebody.Yeah.And then you've got all this.
The only thing I can do is put together an LG. Yeah, you're like I'm doing this is a good thing And you hear that in the back your head you go no, yeah, that's not me that face so I Like I was gonna have sex
He gave me the news that his girlfriend was coming to visit.Yeah, so I was... Little conjugal.
And then he just kept making that face to me.
Trying to burn it, just in between takes.
I was like, when you're performing oral sex, I said, Stephen, are you gonna perform oral... I think you were getting makeup put on you too.I go, Stephen, are you gonna perform oral sex tonight?And he was like, yes.
But it was like, when you're doing it, I want you to see this face.
But you powered through.And no, I didn't even power through.I totally forgot about it.Cause I was so, and then after I was coming out of the bathroom, I was like, yes.Cause then I thought about it.
When you were cleaning up.She said, why did you just say yes?
Do you remember the story about Matt, like how you found out that he got a flashlight, which was like, you guys were sitting and then UPS showed up and he was like, yes, I go, what's that?
Nothing.They ran to the door and goes, I got a flashlight.I got two of them.Do you want one?I was like, that's great.And then we both went to our chambers and when we emerged, we both kind of quietly were like, This is too powerful.
I've never actually used one.You would go nuts.
Holy.Can you imagine what he would do?He loves devices.Do the way he puts like his phone on like a crane.You'd have that thing attached to something.What this would be.
But that I wonder if you could attach a flashlight to the boom arm I'm sure you could now we're talking just fuck it.
You should you should ask touchdown Timmy walls That might be one he could answer go to a town hall and be like oh Could you attach a flashlight to a boom mic?There was, yeah, I don't know.I'm a knucklehead.
Oh, he does get crazy.Who's going to win?Who's going to win?
It's a coin flip. It's a coin.Come on.If it's a coin flip, you know they're stealing it.
We're going to be shooting.It's close.
We're going to get the old two a.m.Oh, we found 900,000 votes.You challenge the election.You're a piece of shit, dude.
As the day after the election, I feel I hope it's just all B roll.Just you.
I don't want to reap the whirlwind.
Yeah.Oh yeah.We're going to be on set.
Election day.That's going to be so fun.
Either way.If Trump loses, I'll get to make fun of you.I'll be like, nice going dude.You ruined the country.Right.You got fuzzy on your cheek. No, it's been good tires has been great tires has been incredible.You've been incredible.
But it's you've been incredible.It's a week but It's been a fun week.Nailed it.God damn.Do you forget how hard actually working is?Yeah.I feel like the biggest pussy of all time.
I can't believe you're actually doing it.If I was like at your level, I think I'd be like, guys, I'm sorry.
I gotta be honest.I'm starting to be like, I'm not coming in.I'm yelling at these poor people that are working there.I'm like, dude, why would I get here at five 30 in the morning?
Yeah.I, that I like those long days.I have that in the back of my head where I'm like, He doesn't need to be doing this.You know what I mean?
You feel like you're asking somebody to stay at a party too long?
Yeah, like 12 hours.I definitely need to do it.It's, it's the best, but the, you, you, you just.
That first day, 5.30, wake up.Stop, it was great.I was like.
The first day, yeah.This is unsustainable.I was like, this is going to be for four fucking months.I'm going to kill myself. Stubbs been so good.
Yeah.Schultz and Tommy were great.Everything's good.So Kyle has been fucking killed.Oh my God.If she wasn't asleep, she'd be on the pot.We might be able to do that.Yeah.Thank you.Didn't say Chris.Didn't we do that at the premiere?
Just literally we're just up there.He was, He was dying.It was full panic mode, but also no one was like, oh yeah, O'Connor.Chris was just sitting there.
At the end, they just brought up like a little stool for me to sit on.That was, yeah, that was a surreal experience though.I also like it when we got up on stage, I was like, what are we... We didn't have anything.What did you say?
That was one of the worst pieces of shit.Poor Brandon from Rough House just up there like... So, yeah.You guys, how do you get into character?None of us do.These are all us.
I was giving him one word answers.The Instinct is like turn it into a podcast.We were just talking about jerking off and like fingering pussies.
We talked about Steve's sexual proclivities.That's all I got.But yeah, waking up early and then driving home tired. Like how the fuck I forgot how big of a pussy I was do that people actually also we're not even working, right?
We're just there literally laying on a recliner until it's time to do three minutes of work Then you sit back on a recliner and go what the fuck are you doing?Fuck you O'Connor, bitch.
It's also not even a situation where there's no end in sight You know what?I mean when you're working a day job and you're like, oh, this is my life.Yeah, this is forever until This you like know will be over in December.
I got that in the back of my head.The whole time I'm like, I don't want to do any more acting.Stand up so good.Stand up for one hour and you go home.
But the staff too, they're showing up like an hour before we even get there, and then an hour after.
Dude, those fucking sound guys, that job actually is hard.Just holding the fucking thing all day?
Christian?I'd be cranky if I were them.
It reminds me of the Temple Owl guy who does this the whole day.
No, St.Joe's Hawk.Oh, St.Joe's Hawk.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.Just the whole game, just does this.
He has to flap his wings the entire game.
No!He stands there the whole time and goes...
Damn.And there's no point.There's no reason for him to do that.
He's still doing it.That's the whole point.If someone goes, you know, he flaps his wings all game.
Yeah.I love the tradition of college basketball.We got, there's a guy in the worst, a Hawk costume.It's great.The whole costume 60 years old.
a couple feathers going off his arm it's just it's nice it's not like a fun big like gritty or fanatic it's it's like almost skin tight it's like a kid's halloween costume that the parents made That'll actually be fun.
I want to go to some, I want to go to some of those games.Ooh, it's actually a big five games.
I take it back.I was wrong.
They must've got an upgrade.Yeah.I mean it is shitty.Look at that.Especially when he's just standing there by himself in the corner there.It looks like a big rug.That's good stuff.What else is going on?I chose Hawk.
I had a shitty morning. Yeah, I woke up, I woke up, I went to, I was trying to get like a, like a cabinet that a TV can like rise out of.Oh really?Yeah.
For in here. But I was looking online.I thought they would be like, I thought they'd be like 500 bucks.They're $3,000.Geez.Yeah.Remote control thing.The fuck are you getting?That'd be nice in the room.
It wouldn't block the windows and you could have a TV in here to watch some college football. Right now we just have it sitting on the table.It's a it's an eyesore.
Yeah, we're definitely watching football Fuck yeah, he wants to put that on a glass table Like a fucking board meeting because zoom call All the more reason to get a little buzz I haven't had a drink in... Filming's also ruined drinking.
You can't drink, dude.I'm not drinking, it sucks.
Yeah, because I was at the writer's room even, just trying to come up with ideas.It was... I had such brain fog, so... Same thing.
Yeah, I can't drink the night before I do anything.
Drink twice in two weeks.
No, it blows. And I'm not going to get any days off the rest.I don't think there's a lot of days where I'm not like.
A lot of roots, yeah.But do you feel good?
Yeah, you feel good.But it's not worth it, dude.I don't know what the fuck all these people are talking about.It blows.
Yeah, you get a clear head.It's nice.It's nice when you wake up.Yeah, it's amazing.Going to sleep sucks.It does.Not like because it's hard to sleep without it.It's just like, what do you want to do tonight?I don't know.Fucking watch Netflix.
Yeah, Harry Potter marathon.Yeah, I'm going to watch more about the Menendez brothers. I'm watching fucking 900 hours of the Menendez.
What's going on with that one?Is that I don't know.I think I made the Dahmer thing.It's as horny as the Dahmer one.
Yeah, this one's pretty horny because they said they got raped by their dad.No, it's a good defense after you kill a guy.He was actually raping us.
Did you tell anyone before that?
No, I forgot to tell anybody.That's the space you playbook.
I just want everyone to know that I am gay.
Yeah.It's also funny.People, women are always like, they're so hot because they're hot in the show.And I was like, do you want to see what these guys like?Women love murders.Yeah.
Do they want to be... I think there's... Lyle and Eric are hot.
I looked at a picture of them, I was like, these guys look like literal dipshits.Oh, man.Look at these dipshits.
They were rich for a week.And then they got caught for blowing their parents' brains out.
Is that how they did it?Oh, that's how they got their money.
Yeah, they broke into their house with shotguns.Well, it was their house.They just walked downstairs and shot their parents while they were watching TV. It is.
Well, are we giving anything away?If we talk about the thing that you had this or whatever in the, in the show?
Give it a shot.Well, you, you putting a gun at my face, a prop gun.
It's just terrible to know that you'd be like clicking in.You're like gone, gone.
Just like... Maybe.Maybe you're on to a better place.
You?I don't know, dude.Yes!You think you're going to heaven?
I don't know if it's the same.You and me, same time.We get there and then God's like, Steve, I knew it!
You want me to get sent to hell and you get to witness it?No, no!Just me first, dude.Me first.
You think I'm gonna have to wait a little?No.You think I'm gonna be on a bit of a delay?
They're gonna go, hold on a second.The fantasy is so funny.That's an insane fantasy.
I've never heard anyone say that.
Being at Pearly Gates, and God goes, Steve, I always liked you better.Steve, you are better than Shane.
It doesn't say that.Shane, you're going to hell.
They just go, Steve, and then Shane.I go, hmm, I wonder who got it.
Oh, a little pride through the Pearly Gates.Yeah.That's a sin.They would cast you down. He does remind me of Lucifer.Steve?Yeah, the story.How does that go?Being God's favorite angel.And then Lucifer was like, I should be God.I'm actually the best.
It's true.There's a degree of truth to that insofar as when you're not around, I do act very differently. Who knows?Have you witnessed it?
What?Him being a fucking cocky guy when I'm not around?
Would you describe it as cocky?
No, it's a roller coaster.
Yeah, yeah.Every once in a while.I feel like everyone's prone to that a little bit.
I would love to see some confidence.
You leave the room and someone's always going like, all right, fuckers.
Yeah, my propensity to like walk by somebody and be like, clean that up.
It's a fun thing to do to someone.It's really fun.Just walk by someone and go, pick that up.Finish that script right now.
That's a good one.I was knocking Clay's hat off his head.I mean, he was doing it to me.Oh, I bought Clay's fart yesterday.
Shout out to Clay on the fart. The middle of me trying to do like I was in the middle of what are you monologue?Yeah, I was no just dialogue.
I was trying to and he followed me into the room with the camera and then I'm in there talking and I just suddenly I couldn't think of any line because all I could smell was shit mustard.But why don't you come out here and do this.
I was like, I'm sorry, I can't talk.Somebody farted.It stinks like shit in here.And he just goes, that was me.I farted.I didn't really fart.It kind of just leaked out.God damn, Clay.Yeah, that's why we're boys.Here's the man.Yeah.We fart.Yeah.
Just fart.Is that a Laxbro thing?You guys all just, I don't know.But you and Clay do skunks.
You rip a fart and it stinks just go what is my friend today play lacrosse?Oh, really?
Yeah How good of friends are you guys not not great, you know, we're just it's a new friend.
It's a new friend Yeah, is he cool?
Yeah, he seems I mean you never know.
No, no.No, I had a couple of Drexel dragons at the club.You got a couple dragons alumni.
Well, I don't know.I'm sure he's told me.
I don't know where he's floating around.Yeah.Damn.You went to Drexel too.
Yeah.Uh, yeah.I went through that.I went to George Washington and failed out, went to Delco community college.Oh shit.You and me were on the band.
You're not better than me at all.You're literally not better than me at all.I thought you'd be a good student.
I thought so too.I don't know why I don't focus.I can't pay attention.Were you partying too hard?No, I just, I did not care and I just lose focus.Yeah.
But you were not partying.
Friends at all when I went to Drexel no Quiet loser that wasn't good at school and and like 25
If failing out of college is like, yeah, at the age, once you get older, it's the easiest thing in the world.College is so easy as long as you just turn things in on time.
Which is why I feel like I stopped going for a full semester.I just didn't go to anything.I had to go back to community.No, a community college.I was like, all right, dude, we gotta, we gotta turn this thing around.
So you passed community college.
Okay. I failed.I did that.My, my, the summer of my freshman year I had cause Drexel has like a quarter system.I had to be in school for that summer and I just didn't, just didn't go.I got like a 0.2.
I was basically the, you shaved your head and started working out.
That was it later.That was after junior year.That's a freak out.Yeah, yeah, yeah.That's a real freak out.
Dude, I went home.Shave your head and work out.
Dude, I went home, and yeah, I freaked out.I shaved my head.I shaved my head.My dad came home from work.He goes, what'd you do with all the hair?I was like, oh, I flushed it down the toilet.He was like, fucking great.He clogged the toilet.
I was like, it was literally day one of my... Yeah. turnaround.It was just immediately.
I'm different now.I'm going to change.Nice going shit head.I'm going to go for a run.I did that.
I went for a run, but I, I, I had a bowl of cereal before I went and I got a mile away from my house and just had explosive diarrhea.
You ever have milk and then go on a run it just shakes turns directly I waddled home like my ass in like full like running gear, you know Dad
Bursting the door to shit.
Now he's gone to work.Oh my god.That comment though, what'd you do with the hair?That would have like, that would have really, I would have seen red mist.Oh dude.Can't you see I'm hurting?
I don't know.You got to see it from the dad's perspective.
He was home from like an actual day of work.I'm like just living at the house.They tried to get me to paint like the deck and I couldn't do it.
I fucked it up so bad.It was, yeah, that was, The end of the road there.
Yeah.I got at Elon.I quit football.So then I just literally just stopped doing everything.Okay.And then I went home for Christmas break and they were like, you're expelled.I was the guy at the bar.They're just like, you're expelled.
It's hilarious.I keep forgetting to tell you, I tried to do that, uh, yesterday.
When like, you know, during the one scene where everybody's like ganging up on me, I'm like, Oh yeah.Yeah.Yeah.Yeah.Like double down on the squint.What?There was a drunk guy that got served right next to Shane.
Was he asleep at the bar when they hit him with it?
No, he was fine.He was just blacked out. Get the fuck out of here, you piece of shit.That's hilarious.It's beautiful.
Did I tell you the second Lip Sync contest, did we talk about that last time?Because it was the Michael Jackson one, that was the freshman year.No.The sophomore year, because we were talking about your parents.
That was freshman year?Yeah.You must have been the man in high school.You did a fucking Michael Jackson dance.
I look for a slice, you see the picture.
You got first?Yeah.Fuck yeah.
You also did a thing where you dressed up as Madonna.Madonna.So that was sophomore year.And that was the one I was telling, because your dad being disappointed, like that's the one thing my mom still gets triggered by to this day.
Because I never like cross-dressed or whatever.
And so... What do you mean, before?Of course.
Your dad told me, your dad told me halfway through the performance, some guy yelled out, oh no, it's a man!Yeah, oh, he told you about it?Once you just walk around telling a story?
You deceived them?Yeah, yeah.
They thought it was a sexy lady up there.You know, big eyelashes, I hadn't hit puberty.Yeah, it was like, I guess.And my mom, like, to this day, when you tell that story, she's just like, ah, ah.She's like...
Yeah, true.I could see it.Yeah.Put him in a dress and a wig.Yes.Well, what an unfortunate looking girl.
No, I was fine too.Ugly girl up there dancing.I support this ugly girl.Oh shit, it's a guy.God damn it, it's a gay guy.How'd it go?What happened with Madonna?
He was really uncomfortable. It was not as funny as I thought it was going to be.Like a virgin.And then I did this move where I got down, my hand, and I like, like humped.And that's what triggered the person yelling at me.
I don't think he saw my penis, but I was wearing tights.You can see right on my skirt.It was terrible.
Why did you, this was for a talent show?Yeah.
And you did this totally by yourself.
It was a bad choice.Yeah, I thought it was gonna be funny.I thought it was gonna be funny.It wasn't funny.What, when you, right before you got on stage.
Got on stage were you like I can't wait until they see this There's times you start to know I don't remember it like all that clear outside of like doing that move and like getting beat red Get the response There's a video
I need this.I need it.Please.Just a dead silent auditorium.Can we please put it at the end of the credits of tires?
I'll get my mom to start looking.Yeah.There's a couple different ones.It's going to tear the family apart.She's going to dig up this.
Yeah.She's going to find her trans son.
Yeah.Well, My dad actually told a funny story to the writers.Cause he was, you know, he was telling about different people he had hired and he was like back, uh, in 83, this guy interviewed, he'd been in business for like four years.
This guy interviewed and he asked like, why'd you leave your last job?And he was like, you ever worked for a fucking Jew?And, uh, you know, my dad being Jewish.And so the, you know, the, the writers asked him, so what'd you do?
And he's like, I hired him. me for four years.Great worker.
We had a lot of fun with that, though, because he like told all the other techs, like, don't say anything about me being Jewish.Wait till payday and then tell.But it's just like it's a hilarious response.That's why I heard him.
There was also like, didn't your dad play a prank on one of the texts where he had, uh, he had some lady call up and try to fuck one of them.
Oh yeah.It was, that was terrible.Like he got one, there was like an attractive woman that worked in the office and he got her to, you know, this was like before internet.
So she was going to be a care pressure.He was like, go in and have funny with the management time, Jesse.And like, you know, act like you're trying to, you're flirting.Yeah.
So she went in there and this whole thing with him, like, I got a problem with my car, you know, I don't have a lot of money.Maybe we can go in the back.And he was very much like, I can't do that.I'm married.And then she was like, it's me.
He was married.Yeah.Yeah.
That's an evil Jewish trick.That's such a Jewish trick.Go ruin that guy's life. Destroy that man's life.
I sign his checks, I'll do whatever I want with his soul.
Oh my god, that was my reaction.Are you crazy to do that?
It's so fucked up.It's like it's fucked up in multiple ways.It's like you're getting me all roused and then I'm like making and then if he brought her back. He's humiliated in front of the company!
And his wife.He's gonna get a divorce?The story's gonna go around and she's gonna hear it eventually.He's gonna get a divorce.
What was the voice again?What were you doing?
Come in there, ruin his life.Destroy his soul.
And my dad would just be like, ah, Steven, you know, we're just having a little fun.That's pretty funny.
Yeah.How about Phil FaceTiming you?
That was like the joke of the day.That was nice.So my dad had a very serious health scare.That's why I was, I, yeah, I had to go home a lot and check and see, go to the hospital, which was, that sucks.
But when he came out of surgery, we FaceTimed him. And he was like, how's everything going?He's got like tubes in his way on the worst angle I've ever seen. in the hospital bed.But I was like, Chris is doing good.John's doing great.
Kyle's doing great.Steve sucks.And he goes, Steve sucks.And I held the phone to Steve and he goes, Steve sucks.Literally on his deathbed.Fuck you pussy.
Yeah.I think you were like, Steve wasn't, isn't doing too good.
Steve's ruining it or something.Then he's like, Steve sucks.
That was one of my favorite Phil moments of all.Right out of the gate, everyone's like, Phil, what's going on?I hope you're doing good.And he goes, I don't need your fucking pity.
Unreal.Phil, ultimate warrior.The first time I saw him in the hospital, he was bad.And I was like, my mom was, she didn't really tell us how bad it was.She didn't want everyone freaking out.So I got in there and he was like,
I was like Holy fuck, this could be it anyway.I kept it together because I didn't want to fire him up because he was on like shit.I was just like that.Those would have been my last words.I was like you got this.
You know you're number one, but then I left and I started, you know, I was tearing up a little leaving the hospital and while I'm leaving, I was wearing glasses, so the guy wouldn't have seen me visibly crying, but I'm leaving and a guy just goes.
Are you shitting gillis?Yeah,
Yeah, that's gotta be one of the bizarre things about your picture
Out of it.The saddest.People catching you at like all your entire range of emotions throughout the day.Tired, wake up, like feeling good.
People are catching you at all.Normally it's good unless it's something like seeing your dad dying.Yeah.And it's not, then you don't really want to talk to people.
Even then I was like, yeah, what's up man?Hey, how are you?Yeah.
But then Phil, miraculously, like the next day.
Where'd you get that cheese?Yeah, I know. funny.
Uh, then I went back to the hospital the next day and he was, it was fine.He was a lot better.They did.Yeah.He powered through that.I thought that was looking dicey.Yeah, that was scary.50 50 on that one early.How old is he?Okay.But he got after it.
He had a, that was funny.He was in the hospital, but I was like fucking good run though.I guess a hell of a run.I was Hell yeah.
It was funny, yeah.It was very funny.
That phone call was incredible.
What, the FaceTime?Shut up.Yeah.
I mean, you're fucking, Steve sucks.That's right out of the gate.Yeah.
I was literally thinking about getting him a card.
I know, that's what you said.He was like, Steve sucks.You're like, I was going to get him a card. I hope he's alright with me talking about his health, but whatever, he's fine now.
He's doing great.Is he home yet?
Yeah. So that, oh man, and he's not allowed to drive now for a while.He's just stuck with my mom.He's gonna be fucking crazy.He's gonna be crazy.And he's gotta chill on the drinking.They're definitely saying, you need to stop.And he's like, okay.
There's no way he stops.He was already like, I have a couple a night.We were like, you have more than a couple.He's like, all right. I'll bring it down to a couple of night and work my way back up to where I'm at.Yes.
That is a thing in the medical community.
I don't come back from injuries.I just got to build myself.Start from square one.
Yeah.I just, I feel like the medical community does not appreciate how much regular people drink.
Unless you get like an Indian doctor.I went, I told you this before I went cause I had some rotten chicken fingers at a comedy club and fucking destroyed me.Okay.And I was like, Oh, this is serious.
So I went to a doctor and he was like, so how much do you drink?And I was like, probably like 50 beers a week.And he was like, Oh my God, your pancreas is failing.That's what that is.And I was like, I don't, all right.Then we got the blood work.
He was like, everything's fine.Is that how much you drink?Yeah.
I was like, yeah, it's like case of beer was like some of the mechanics would drink a case of beer.
Yeah.They'd put down a case.Yeah.That's when you die.You're going to die at 60 probably.Yeah.
Yep.Apparently the general, the younger generation doesn't drink as much.
Yeah, apparently they're finding out it's bad for you.Yeah, because everybody's parents is dead that fucking oh, yeah They're having fun they're doing everything else, but yeah, that was a that sucked Seeing Phil.
Yeah, but whatever he's back He'll be back knew he'd be back He had to lay there and watch the Phillies lose.Oh That's a tough one.
You know hospital bed watching those fucking games Yeah, just watching the whole team not hit dude after the Sunday game though.
I was like they're back Yeah, they were flat they were flat the whole the next two games they've subbed everyone out I Just keep them in there.I didn't even like the fact, I guess Boehm has been sucking, but I didn't like them benching them in.No.
Just keep them in.Did they bench Boehm?They benched Boehm in game two.
Oh, was Sosa playing third?
He was.I think so, yeah.Does Blue Chew work?If you're asking that question, we want you to know that Blue Chew is putting their money where their mouth is. by giving you a big fat blowjob on your penis.No, by giving you a month free of Blue Chew.
Blue Chew is an online service that delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra, but at a fraction of the cost and in a chewable form.The process is simple.
Sign up at BlueChew.com, consult with one of their licensed medical providers, and once you're approved, you'll receive your prescription within days.I'm actually thinking about switching my whole family over to their licensed medical providers.
I want them to kind of take care of our health.BlueChew tablets are made in the USA and prepared and shipped directly to your door.The best part? It's all done online.
That means no visits to the doctor's office, no awkward conversations, and no waiting in line at the pharmacy.You can take them anytime, day or night, so you can plan ahead or be ready whenever an opportunity arises.How awesome is that guys?
We can get our fucking dicks hard. BlueChew wants men rock hard.They told me that's the mission.They will not stop until every man is bricked up like a brick house, till every tent is pitched, till every rod is raised.
Discover your options at BlueChew.com.And we've got a special deal for our listeners.Try BlueChew free when you use our promo code DRENCHED at checkout.Just pay $5 shipping.That's BlueChew.com, promo code DRENCHED to receive your first month free.
Visit BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information.And we thank BlueChew for sponsoring the podcast. PrizePix is the best place to get real money sports action.
With over 10 million members and billions of dollars in awarded winnings, PrizePix has made daily fantasy sports accessible to all.You just pick more or less on at least two players for a shot to win up to 100 times your cash.
Run your game all season long on PrizePix.I mean dudes, you know me, you know I love that real money sports action. I say, hey babe, leave me alone, I'm focusing on my real money sports action right now.Let me watch the game.
You can now win up to 100 times your money on PrizePix with as little as 4 correct picks.PrizePix is the best way to get action on sports in over 30 states, including California, Florida, Georgia, and Texas.
PrizePix is the only real money daily fantasy sports platform with an injury insurance policy so your lineup stay in play even if one of your players gets injured.
If your player leaves in the first half and doesn't return, PrizePix keeps your lineup live.PrizePix is the best place to get real money sports action.Join over 10 million users and sign up today.
PrizePix invented the flex play, which means you can still cash out even if your lineup isn't perfect.You can double your money even if one of your picks doesn't hit. Sign up today and get $50 instantly when you play $5.
You don't even need to win to receive the $50 bonus.It's guaranteed.PrizePix also offers weekly promotions that can lead to big payouts like Taco Tuesday.
Each Tuesday, PrizePix discounts select player projections up to 25% to provide even more value to your lineup. Download the PrizePix app today and use promo code DRENCH to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup.
That's code DRENCH on the PrizePix app to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup.PrizePix, run your game!You know what we all need to get more of?
Off our ass with bold flavors and a refreshing citrus kick, Mountain Dew will get you off your ass and have you feeling like you're on an actual mountain.
A mountain where the weather is always perfect, your friends are ready to hang, and a day of epic proportion awaits.Alright, what is, I have to tell you, my favorite, my favorite flavor?Obviously Mountain Dew Original.
I'm a fucking original classic kind of guy, dude.You kidding me?Talk about what game and activity you play with friends.
Every time I drink Mountain Dew, I usually just kind of like me and my friends, we don't get naked, but like we take off like a lot of our clothes just so we can kind of like grip each other.
And we wrestle in a style some might if you saw it from afar, you might think it's sexual.It's not that would be against the code of conduct for the the ad policy.It's not sexual from afar.You'd be like, are those guys?
Violent, you know it look from far away.It's crazy.
If you got up under us you'd be like, holy shit These guys are really working on technique, but that's what I do when I drink my original favorite Mountain Dew I Wrestle with my friends in a way that looks suggestive from far away, but it's for real.
It's like we're just training We're just kind of like working on you know certain drills and moves
Um, so that's kind of what we're up to the mountain is calling and you should answer grab your friends grab an ice cold Mountain Dew wherever refreshing beverages are sold and do the do It's not that it's just in my car it's been warm dude, it's so fucking good actually It's awesome dude, I'm on a mountain right now for all my friends Even if you don't have any friends dude, you can just imagine them after you
Well, that's good baseball talk.
I didn't finish my, I did, I did an evil Jewish trick this morning, I think where I, I kept this, I found like a, the cabinet thing I was looking for on Facebook marketplace.
And I kept saying I was going to pick it up for like two weeks and just not picking it up.And this lady was getting so pissed at me and then stopped responding. And then I like, Sadie called her and was like, Hey, like, we're for real.
We're going to come pick it up.And we went there today and we got in there and I was just like, it's too big.Oh, they had taken the TV out of the cat.They had unplugged everything.They had gotten it ready to move.
Dude.I was this close.Huge.
It would, but it would be, it'd be too big.I couldn't do it.
I could, and it weighed 200 pounds and I had to lift it with, there's no, yeah, we just couldn't have, I felt really, really bad, Shane, but I don't think we feel comfortable associating with you on this stuff.
Yeah, I disagree with your behavior.
Why?What was I supposed to do?
And then do what?Then I just have it and then I got to get rid of it?
That's how things were.Then I'm just in their shoes.
I got a giant cabinet.The curse is on you.
Dude, I walked away from it just being like, wow, I can't believe I stood up for myself in that moment.I thought it was like a real achievement.
It's kind of an achievement to be that big of a piece of shit.For real.I would have been like, I would have taken it.
I thought about, I thought about paying for it and taking it right to the dump.
Did you offer him a little money, like a little like holding money, maybe?
No, I said, I had her guys.
Cause Shay was wearing a necklace.It was like, it's a thing for my dad.
It felt like bad luck not to wear it.
Yeah.But my grandma had given me like a, uh, they're called a high.It's like, uh, you know, the star of David.No, it's a, it's like Hebrew.Does it look like pie?
Yes.Okay.Oh yeah.I've seen that thing.Yeah.You're gonna wear that.
I think we're going to start wearing it.
Why don't we just get you a patch for your sleeve?I did look awesome in my neck.Yeah.
Why do necklaces look so cool?
I don't know.You know what though?I do have a hunchback from leaning my terrible posture.So it shows that kind of sits.It's,
I feel like if you look up like leading forward, it's like sitting on top of a, it's not good.It actually makes you work on your posture.So I can't have that.
My posture is fucking terrible. Yeah, that was... Did you ever try to sit with good posture?Yes.
Very uncomfortable.It's for gay guys, though.
It's for girls and gay guys.You can't... Good posture's crazy, though.This was making me... When it came to the chain, I was like, I gotta wear it, because...
It's all started Phil's health scare, and I put I put the blame on myself me and Nate Marshall were in Philly We were walking around we went to st.Patrick's Cathedral right in Rittenhouse.
It's it's awesome You just go we were walking by and I was like let's go in there.It was empty.It's awesome.You can't just go in yeah We went in I was fucking say a prayer
So we're sitting in the pews, and I was like, damn, I haven't had a church fart in so long, and I let one go.And I was like, that is kind of disrespectful to just walk into a cathedral and fart and then leave.
And then the next day, Phil was in the hospital, and I was like, I know I shouldn't have farted in that church.
There's probably nobody funnier to be at like a church service with if you're gonna like with you.
It was my I couldn't by the time I was senior year I couldn't get through mass with my friends I would be the second I walked in I was like It's gonna be the funniest thing that's ever happened.Every time.
Kids would fart.All of my friends would fart as loud as they could.It was the funniest.Church fart is... Nothing comes near it.
Yeah.Oh dude.Yeah.I, I remember my brother, we had to stop going cause my brother and I couldn't stop laughing through the whole thing.And they tried to sit us apart, but you had so many inside jokes already that like you just feel the pew shaking.
You can just feel my brother starting to just shake, laugh.And then I, then I just lose.
So that was the punishment though.Cause it was me and my sisters and you would always try to sit not next to Phil.Cause he would be like, motherfucker.
Whole mass.He was like, he just went there to beat the fuck out of it.He would literally grab you by the back of your neck and be like, fuck.
Although if somebody hit a fart, he was like, Yeah, but school we had to go every thursday in school.So that's just a high school of kids farting, right?Everyone's farting or like screaming.Somebody would like yell shit.It was the funniest.
It was the best.And then team mass for football.That was just the football team in a chapel saturdays friday before the game.Okay.And it was You've got to listen to your dumb ass teammates try to read like me.I end today.It's just like, holy shit.
Yeah, it was, I had to, they asked me to read.I was like, I literally, I will how I will be dying, laughing the entire time.Dude, I can't read.
I went to, when's the last time you went to mass?
Yeah, I went, I went, we were up in new Hampshire.There was a, there's like a church Island that I went to and I was like, I want to see, What it's like?I want to see like with the Hamlet.
So about five, 10 minutes in, you're like... Dude, the guy was unbelievably bad.It sounded like he found out about Christianity the day before.
Protestants.That's your problem.
Do they have fucking a guitar?
No, but they, they were close.It was close.It was like, yeah.
I went to a Catholic, the last Catholic mass I was at, it was just, oh yeah, I flew down to Florida for my uncle's funeral and they didn't even have a service.They just, they mentioned us during the mass.It was just a regular mass.Okay.
I was in like a suit.It's like, why the fuck do we, it was like the happy birthday.I thought it was a funeral.Yeah. And then towards the end, they're like, and also we pray for Don Bowie and his family.
We were all just like, I flew to Florida, but they, it was weird.It was a Catholic, Catholic mass and they had the fucking band and a guitar and a drum set.
Trying to make church cool drives me crazy.
Keep it scary.Yeah.Make it very scary.
What do you do in Jewish church?
Uh, the last time I went to synagogue was after 9-11.
Ooh, did you guys high-five in there?After 9-11 you went to this celebratory fucking synagogue?
Why did we high-five?Oh, you think it's the Jews?Okay.I didn't know if the argument was it was justification then for Jews to do other, you know, whatever.
Do they have rock and roll synagogue?
When I was growing up, I went to a reform synagogue.Somebody did play guitar.
What was the Jewish song?The Tree of Life.
Retrieve life.How does it go?
And then there's those like shallow.
Damn, you're really Jewish.That's good.I support all my Jewish friends in this hard time.You guys are going through it. Yeah, I mean notice rising anti-semitism or is it just hanging out with me?
Um, but yeah, start wearing my pendant.The pendants can be nice.I'm going to be on that. I wish you didn't tell me.Yeah, I had to, but if it's the pie symbol, I would have gotten it wrong.Yeah.The fucking pie symbol.You fucking math door even worse.
Yeah.That's, that feels like I had a, that if, if I don't say it, it's like a horror movie that I don't know when I'm going to get attacked.You know, what is the, what does the thing represent?Like good luck.
Wait, wait for the quotes.That's my understanding.I haven't really looked.That's what my grandma told me.
Because you're supposed to, you guys have like pendants for specific things though, right?
You have saints?No.Or any like... I don't even think they have... What are the other characters?
They don't even have a messiah, bro.They killed... True.Yeah, they're not... They got one and they're like, no.This one's not good enough.
Hey guys, it's me, the messiah.No. Not you.Things are bad.We don't want good things.We like being bad.They were bad boys.Yeah.Would you have done that?Would you have crucified him?
If, well, uh, listen. I'm very good to go.I probably would've.I probably would've.
Some guy fucking yapping.
I didn't mean to cut you off.
After that NXIVM, uh, do you, you know, like that sex call and there's a documentary and there's like all his supporters outside the jail.And I'm like, I get, I, I get being like, we got to off this guy.Could you?
Yeah. Do you imagine if you're a Pontius Pilate and you had Jesus in your district?I used to do that joke.
That was my, I had a Jesus joke about like, okay, like he didn't look like, he looked like shit.You ever see that rendering of him?He looked like fucking Dobby from Harry Potter.
He was like four foot two wearing a potato sack, running around like give money to the poor.I've never met a poor person that didn't say that.Every single homeless guy's like help.
When he's hanging out with hookers, and everyone's like, why are you hanging out with hookers?He's like, fuck you, dude.You do bad shit, too.Like, I've never met someone who didn't do that.
Every single dude that gets with a hooker is like, who the fuck are you to judge, motherfucker?None of his messages were that special. And then the Jews were like, get rid of him.
You're not doing that joke anymore?Isn't that like part of the passion of the Christ is like the Roman Empire too was on Pontius's ass about, dude, yeah, you gotta keep that place in order.
Yeah.And also it was during, when they did crucify him, it was during like a religious holiday for Jewish people. So the city was packed, like hundreds of thousands of people.And there was like 200 Roman soldiers in a garrison.
And there was already like civil unrest.And then they were like, you got to kill this guy.They had no, they would have, they had to do it.Yeah.If they were like, no, they would, the Jews would have been, Oh God, we're going to get in there.
We're going to get you. What's the story about Jesus flipping the tables, the money changing tables?You guys were out front fucking selling shit in the temple and he was like, get that shit out of here.Oh, it's outside the temple.
I'm selling fucking merch at the temple. I didn't know this is for God.Stop trying to fucking sell shit all the time.Just stop trying to make money.
Oh God, our tables.What have you done?The world go round.
Nobody wanted to do it.Everybody wanted the Jews to go to hell.
And suddenly the Jews got rich and then all of a sudden we decided it was a bad idea.
It's a good point.There's no banking, right?Banking was like illegal. I think it was loans.Yeah.
Usury or usury.Yeah.It's called, that's like loans.But I also understand wanting to make it illegal because it like you would money lend at like 50% like people didn't understand interest.So if you understood it, you would.
Yeah.I would have, I would have been taken for everything.Yeah.It'd be like, you want 50 bucks?I'm like, yeah. Like, all right, you owe us $290.I'm like, sure.Oh, fuck.
I remember hearing that somewhere where, like, the Pope was very close with the Jews, and every time they decided to kill a bunch of Jews, he had to, like, meet with the guy and be like, hey, man. my hands are tied taxis.
No, this is gonna be some real unhappy, so we're going to take it out on you. You guys are good at that though.
Money.Yeah, the money stuff.That's a good thing to be good at.
Yeah.I mean, that's at least my understanding from one book that I read.
Was that it was sort of an illegal thing and because people thought you'd go to hell if you did it, they let the Jews do it.
Yeah, yeah, good for the Jews on that one.I guess just being like, yeah, we'll do it afraid of ghosts.So we get to have all the money because they think they're going to burn forever.I wonder if Jesus have that.
Those guys had that thought though, just like on their deathbed to be like, I hope those guys weren't right.I hope everybody I've ever met wasn't right.
I bet that I bet you they did.I don't know.
You think so?I don't have that thought.
Yeah, I'm gonna have that.Yeah, yeah, yeah.Let me say something nice real quick.I never say nice things.
Sorry, I try to feel smart.
Oh, I remember like it went in my hardcore, like atheism days.I would be like, I would never really, they're always talking about people like deathbed confession.Oh, you're going to be a dude begging, crying like a bitch.
It's like my favorite norm.Just being a coward at death, like death coming to me and be like, no, take my grandson instead.
So far my, like the, the, the two that I grabbed, my Jewish grandparents has died.The, uh, my data, he, he handled it like a champ because he had an aortic aneurysm and they knew it was going to go at some point.
And so when he had like three days and so like they took him to the hospital and obviously they got him like heavily medicated.
But before that, kicked in.What do you got?
No, I was just thinking of my dad coming out of anesthesia.Apparently there was like a nurse and like an all blue.Somehow Phil thought he was on a cruise ship.He thought he was talking to the captain.He came out and he was like, I'm on a cruise ship.
Smiling like on a boat.Like I got bad news for you.You're in fucking Harrisburg.
It is also funny to think that in Phil's mind, he's always on a cruise ship.Oh, yeah.
He handled it really well.Then my Bubby, she had sundowners, so she was starting to lose it after he passed.
So wait, sometimes you get a little wacky at night.That's fun.
So scary.It is.Cause it's like old people doing weird shit when the sun goes down.That's awesome.It's the scariest thing there is.Freaks come out at night.
My dad hired a woman to like live at the house with her.
And the woman called my dad at four in the morning.It was like, you have to come get me because it was getting so bad.And she had locked the door and then my Bobby kicked it open and it was like, Get out of my house.Holy shit.I mean, it's scary.
It's like frail.Oh my God.
She, my mom's kept like, Oh my God, that'd be scary.
But she went downhill that the, uh, she was Jamaican maids, like Jamaican, uh, you know, Jamaican be crazy.
Yeah.At the, um, like the, what are they called?Nursing homes.
And she would act up.They'd go.
The one nurse that told my mom a funny story, she was laying, like, laying with her.Yeah.And then my mom goes, uh, what are they going to say about us?And she was like, what's that?And she's like, me laying here with a black man, just like a lady.
Oh man, dude.That's pretty fucking sexual.
That's really like, there was like a fantasy.She's like, what are they going to say about us?
She, whoa, I bet you.And I, um, I don't like that.I'm going to say this, but I do bet she had a fantasy.No, that like, I think some of the stuff that, you know, how genetics, you know what I mean?What do you mean?
Like I bet some of my sexual, like I, you know, from your grandma, you think your grandma being a freak, toss it down to you.I bet you there's some of it because she, yeah, she's a sexual freak. She would just like talk about, yeah.
What would she talk to you about?Nothing like, so after my Zeta passed, like on the right, no, great.Like she's grieving and she's old.Yeah.But she like, we were just like in the car and then she was like, we were morning lovers.
We fucked in the morning. That's actually a really sweet thing, her saying that.It's really, actually nice.
It is very sweet, but so... Who knows?Why did she unload that at that moment?
Well, she's old and... Yeah, in the moment.Who knows?
It was probably a really beautiful memory.It's probably a really nice memory.Just thinking of like all the times they fucked in the morning.Yeah.Yeah.Seeing the curtains and the wind breeze, you know?Yeah.I don't know why I can't talk, but whatever.
The wind breeze.Yeah, we know what you mean.
Yeah, it is.I imagine it, uh, it's kind of crazy that they fucked regularly in the mornings all the way to the end.
Just piping down your fucking meemaw or whatever you call her.What'd you call her?Bubbs.Bubbs.Bubby? Cause Bubby, we couldn't see it.Bubby getting piped down in the morning.Walking with a limp the rest of the day.
She was always like, she wore like leather pants.She had like bleach varnish.
Yeah.Oh, she was a sex freak.
And now you're a sex freak.
She's the one thing that's like, and I'm not trying to like, just smirch her.
So do you think it skipped a generation or?
I don't want to talk about that.No, I don't want to talk about that because it's, because you know, It's disgusting.I don't think it's disgusting for you.You think your dad's a horny sex freak?
Your dad better not be a horny sex freak.
Did you ever walk in on your parents?
I didn't like walk in, but there was something about the get going.
Yeah, I don't think, I don't think I ever really, I don't think I ever heard them having, I think my sisters did.
I was, I was the youngest.So By the time I was old, old enough to know when someone was fucking, they were kind of old, old enough that they weren't like loudly fucking right.
Chris, did you ever hear about parents?
No, I think you and me probably had similar parents when it came to sex.They never discussed it.We never talked about it.
They're not, they're not even like, um, they're like warm to one another, but there was never, ever, ever anything even remotely close to like a sexual.Oh my God.
I do remember this.I remember that is great.I remember them making out on the couch when I was a kid.Really?I remember them making out and me seeing it and be like, Whoa, but I was so young.I was just like, what are you guys doing?
There was, there was one little gay son came in.It was like, if I get a tape,
I did have one memory like that where there was a sleepover with a couple of my buddies and my dad came home from work on the Friday night or whatever.He was ready to go.
He must have had a few drinks or whatever, but he came in and he kissed my mom and then howled like a wolf.He went, Yeah, that's good.And my buddies and I were like, what the fuck?
I was like, I don't know, my dad's nuts.I don't know.That was the only thing.You get older and you realize like, you want them to be, you hope they were fucking.Of course, yeah.Of course.Cause that'd be tragic.
Yeah.Yeah.But I liked that they, they had a outward facing nothing.
Yeah. You know what I mean?And your parents were sexual freaks.
I'm just having a lot of things.I'm just having a lot going on in here.
I don't want to talk about all of it.You don't have to.Just certain things.
I didn't walk in on it the one time, but the only thing I ever walked in on was him drying up in her kitchen.
She was on the phone getting a cup of coffee.
Yeah, and then he was like, yeah.And then I turned to her and then I was like, oh my god.
Wait, was she reaching down and dogging you?
Yeah, and he had a leg up on the counter.And then I was like, oh my god.And then he turned around and his face was beat red.He goes, what?It's natural.And I was like, ah.And then, but there was just so many times where he'd be like, oh.
My kids are gonna see that.If a girl bends down, yeah.I'm getting in there.You go.It's fun.
He would always be like, to my mom, he'd be like, you gonna go take a shower?
You got a little touchdown Timmy Walls as the father.You wanna hit the shower?I'm like, ah!
I was like, couldn't get good.
Would you get like real grossed out?
Yeah.I was back from little league and like, you know, what did you say?
If I were him, I would never, if you literally reacted like, Oh, I would do it.Yeah. What happened when you got back from Little League?
I was like, uh, my arthritis was less controlled at this time.And, uh, I was in, they, my parents had a jacuzzi.So, uh, I like went, what?
Of course they had a jacuzzi.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.And, uh, so I went into the jacuzzi and then I guess they forgot that I was in there. And then like I heard them come into the bedroom because it wasn't like they're better, you know, and the jacuzzi was in their bedroom.
It was like a bathroom off their bedroom.
I was thinking hot tub.Yes.
Yeah.And then I just like the, this feels like such, but my mom was, he goes, How much time do we have?And she's like, I have a, like something in the oven.It's like eight minutes.He's like, it's plenty of time.And then I just was like, what do I do?
And I unplugged the water, you know?So it was like, and then he was like, and then they just scurried out and I was like, ah, you know, Oh my God.Close call.
That's a real close call.
That's a close call. Oh my God.
That's really funny though.Look at those legs, dude.You look good.
Yeah, I think that would have scarred me up.
That's fine.Yeah.That's what you... I know.You're right.
You're gonna be so bad.I know.You're a sex freak.Yeah.Yeah.You're a little pervert.
No, I'm not a Jewish pervert.Yeah.I don't see a woman who'd go, It does sort of feel, you know, you're not for out to, what is that?You ever see the vampire?
No, I know the reference kind of look like a man, but that's mean.What do you mean?
I said, you kind of look like him and I took it back immediately.
It's fine.But you know, are we have to go?
No, I was just showing you Nosferatu.This is you and the door.Yeah, that's what she sees when you go down on.No, she's I know, I'm sorry.I'm being nasty.Did you touch your hair?
That's one thing.It doesn't suck when you're balding and they start touching your hair.
Man, that's good stuff.What time is it?Oh, the Irish are on in a half hour.
Oh, yeah, we can, uh, we can keep going though.I've been gone.The boys, I've been, I've abandoned my boys.
I've abandoned my children.
Give me the blood.Give me the blood, Steve.Steven, you boy.I'm going to bury you underground, Steven.
That's good.You gotta do that.
I love that movie.It's so good.
Oh, we didn't even talk about Tampa Ham.
We did not talk about Tampa Ham.The Beezerine was on one.Yeah.We went out on Wednesday.Tuesday night.Tuesday night, and the Beez was fired up.He was probably the funniest I've seen him.I was... We were literally crying laughing.
It was Chris and Sadie and me and my girlfriend, Beezer was at the other end of the table, and the four of us were just having normal conversations.
Beezer was at the end of the table, didn't stop talking, just spewing hate by himself, just going like, Chris, you fuck.Well, it started with, it started with it.Well, now we're telling, we're going to need you to tell you the story.
He was, he was, the switch flipped.
It was great.Oh yeah, at Ryan's.So we went to watch the, we were watching the Phillies game.We were at Ryan's after we filmed and Beezer was just dead silent.Yeah.He was sitting on the end of the end of the table by himself, not talking.
Like I forgot he was there.
Except he kept calling Francisco Alvarez a fat ball boy.
He was.Which was amazing.He did order a car bomb. for himself, which I've never seen that move.
Like the waitress came by and he was like, uh, I'll get a carb off and just went back to watch the game.I was like, you're not getting anyone else you're doing.He'd got, he's sitting by himself.It goes,
I've never seen anything like it, but no one's ever done.But then he got another, he got hammered.Okay.So then we go to another bar after the game and bees are sitting by him.He's at the end of the table.We're having our own conversation.
He didn't stop spewing hate towards Chris and Sadie.Occasionally Sadie and I'd be like, all right, it started a little over the line on this.It started with the picture. I took a picture of Beezer.
And I was like, God damn, you look good as fuck in that.And that's all it took.Because then the rest of the night he was like, take a picture of me.I look good as fuck.I'm handsome.And I was like, Chris is handsome.I took a picture of Chris.
I thought it started with a picture getting taken of me.And he was like, why are you even fucking taking it?You can't take pictures, you fucking ugly piece of shit.And then Shane goes, all right, Beezer, let's take a picture of you.
I bet you don't want to see what you look like.And dude, he was. Amazing in every photo.Yeah, it was a nice photo of the bees.He just started posing.We've 60 photos of him in different poses.
Looking incredible.Trying to answer it.1043 was the bees, 1044 the con man with a poor answer.It actually wasn't a bad picture, but it was just fun to tell Beezer how good he looked.He looks really good.
He was... Oh, also he hadn't drank in like two weeks. So he got in there and just got fucking after it, but he's just sitting there spewing hatred until occasionally it would hit and Chris would be like, what?
He's just chumming the water the whole time. And then he was like, you fucking played lacrosse, you suck at sports, fuck you.And O'Connor's like- He doesn't, you don't.No, of course not.Okay.And then O'Connor's like, what the fuck did you ever do?
And he was like, Tampa Am.Tampa Am.Ever heard of it?What is that?Ever heard of the Tampa- And then we're like, what the fuck is the Tampa Am?He's like, you kidding me?Tampa Am?We're like, what is the Tampa Am?He's like, giggle it.Give it a giggle.
We're like, dude, what is the Tampa Am?He's like, are you out of your fucking mind?You don't know what the Tampa Am is?
No.Yeah.He goes, these guys know what the fucking Tampa AM is.Just two random dudes.
Yeah.Two guys.No one knows what the Tampa AM is.Eventually we figured out it's a skateboarding competition that he did.That's hilarious.It was incredible.And Chris was like, what'd you do at the Tampa AM?He's like, fucking nose grind reverse.
You hit him with the line of the century though.Cause he was like, you love Kamala.You fucking love Kamala. and you go, Kamala is cooler than a nose grind.Reverse.
Yeah.Come on.Here's the core than a reverse nose grind at the Tampa.Oh, you kidding me?You think she could nose grind on me?
I'll kill that bitch.And then I was talking shit to him about the nose grind thing too.And he said, don't talk to me.Sweet.Oh yeah.You talking to me?
Sweet.Don't play me.Don't play me.Sweet.That's good.It was, it was, it was amazing.We laughed for an hour straight.He did not stop for one straight hour.I was just talking shit to everyone.There was real me.
There was a 30 minute junk where I was trying to tell a story about spilling pasta in the old house.
He's just telling a story about spilling ordering a tray of ziti from grubhub and just immediately dropping it Yeah, that's the that's the whole story and I was copping to the whole thing Yeah, he was just trying to tell the story and bees are the whole time He's trying to admit it
He's like, he did admit it, he's telling us how he did it.And then I would start telling him, he'd go, watch him, watch him, he's not gonna- He's gonna lie, he's gonna fucking lie, he's playing me sweet.
I don't know if it's as funny to anybody that wasn't there, but man.
I would feel uncomfortable.
No, he was being funny.He was intentionally.
He like knew what he was doing.
He was very intentionally being funny, he was just being wild.
Yeah, it was a good night.
That rough ending, but whatever.
We don't need to talk about that. Took a spill.
He took a measured tumble and took a brewski tumble outside.
He took a brewski tumble.He got dinged up.He took a brewski tumble.He was so drunk.While he was talking shit to Chris, he fell into my lap and was still talking shit.He was like, you fucking piece of shit.
He kept offering cigarettes to people.
Yeah, no, the waitress came by and was like, what are you, fucking vape?And she was just this sweet, nice waitress.Yeah.She was like, yeah.And he's like, why don't you smoke a real cigarette?She was like, oh, I'd love one.
And he goes, yeah, fucking right.
Jeez.It was an absolute clinic.
And then he brought two, he went downstairs, found two college kids that bought him a shot.And then he was like, you want me to chain?And he brought them upstairs.So now there's just two boys with us.Yeah.And he's like,
You guys don't even know about the fucking Tampa.He just started attacking them and I had to explain to them.I was like, he's just joking.
He's totally joking right now.Everybody was confused.Sure.But I loved it.It was my favorite Beezer.
We got to get down to the Tampa.
I wonder if we're still going on.Definitely.That was a really, that was a fly hurricane.
Yeah.And then when you sent that, I was like, I don't think he remembers talking about the Tampa ham. He's got to.He did.It came around.Oh, I got the videos.They're so good.
Play a little of that audio.
I don't know.It's not going to be good.Right there, he's demonstrating how he would grind to get one leg reverse grind.You're done.You're out of the Tampa Am.Did Dan Margera win the Tampa Am?He goes, no.Chris Colvin won the
I don't know.What do you say?It was wonderful.Anyway, I don't know how great that story is, but it's so good.It's vintage Beezer.I wish you were there for it.You would have heated it.
You would have left my taste.Yeah.We gotta get you going a little.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Yeah, I'll stop trying to change.
That's a Saturday morning thing.
No, no.Saturday nights for the fellows.Notre Dame games for the fellows.That's when we go have a couple of brewskis and watch the Irish in 20 minutes.We got to go.
Yeah, yeah.Big game and Red River.
And the Red River rivalry.Red River.It's a shootout.Yeah.I hope it's the Red River school shooting today at 3.30.And you're coming.We're going to have fun.
So you go on fun dates with other friends.
So you have no idea how much I fought going on this.
Yeah.Yeah.He got bullied into this.There's no question.Never done anything with her.There's no question.
Almost like this is just to get back in the black with his lady for sure.Yeah.
You are scheming little fuck.I promise you.Conniving.
I promise you.I know.I got it.He has to do something bad to me so we can go out. I'm mad at you.
Please don't be mad at me.I'll find some leverage.I did the third, the third year I did Pavarotti and the fourth year I did Lord of the Dance.And I think we definitely have the Lord of the Dance as well.
Okay, was the Gerben routine a thing at your high people pumped for like they were pumped for the yeah, where's the poverty?Yeah, yeah, he was like, did you sing opera?No, no, I lips.It was a lip sync.
So I was like, there's no I like had a bunch of stuff like tucked in my oh, you're done.
I was doing a gag.You don't get it.Yeah.
Where did Madonna come in the order?
Second sophomore year.It was a sophomore slump.Burst onto the scene with dad and dad.A little sophomore slump.That happens.
Sophomore slump.It's so hard.
It's so hard to stay in the top.You probably got it back by Lord of the Dance.Lord of the Dance, I did.That must have killed.
It did kill.I had rip away pants.Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Please.I don't even remember.Dude, it was fake.That's in there.You don't lose that.
It was fake.It was on the floor of the dance.But I don't know, lord of the ants.I'll do it.But it's fake.I don't know it.
You just made it admit the whole thing up.Yeah.As you go.Give us an example.Fake Irish jig.
I had like a thing.Yeah.I forget it now.
That was pretty good though.Hands at the waist was nice.
Do you get the hop going and the leg kicks?
I think a little hop, tear away pants.
And that was the reverse nose died.You're done.You love Kamala Harris.
That was my favorite bees.Yeah, that was I wish you understood how funny it was.
It was so funny.It was so funny.Calm, nice guys.
Nice guys isn't the right phrase.He was being nice.He was being funny.Like if you told it, like I would tell him, that one was, you're getting a little close. All right, we gotta watch the hours.
Steven, thank you.We're gonna do this, uh, hopefully regularly.Yeah.We'll get McKeever on here.We'll talk tires a little.
Yeah.Ooh, that'd be nice.
In the meantime, how about Matt McCusker carrying the load?Yeah.He's a workhorse right now.
He's doing great.I keep meaning to watch the Glenn Lowry, uh... He's got some good stuff coming.
Yeah.So, shout out to Matt.We love you.Yeah.I care about you.I miss you.Those are cool glasses.
They're, uh, bifocals.Those are?Yeah. Well, because do you remember when John put that that thing on Instagram of like me reading the menu?
It's because that was the funniest thing.Yeah.
Sign in
