Hi, floppers.Before we start this episode, I just wanted to remind you we are in the middle of Flop TV season two.That's right, the one-hour internet televised Flophouse TV show is here for you the first Saturday of every month through February.
Just go to theflophouse.simpletics.com and get your tickets or season pass for this all-new Flophouse TV stuff. We're covering movies we've never covered before.We've got video segments.It's amazing.
Just go to theflophouse.simpletics.com for Flop TV season two.This time, it's personal.
On this episode, we discuss Dear David.
I've heard of a Dear John, but Dear David is ridiculous.
I was thinking of a Dear John thing, too, just because I know it's one of Hallie's favorite shows.It is.
It's so good.It's so good.
Hey everyone, and welcome to the Flophouse.I'm Dan McCoy.Oh, hey there, Dan.It's me, Stuart Wellington.
Well, howdy, folks.It's me, Elliot Kaelin.
I don't see you much around these parts.I'm Hallie Hacklin.
You did it.I love that you got so caught up in the character that you forgot the objective of the line.
I lost myself in it.That's what happens.
I mean, it reminded me of when I would go into Hallie's office and after a while she'd go, go on, git, git.Go on now, git. Poking me with a stick she had there.
Hey, this is a podcast where we... Guys, did you guys see that Reba McEntire has a new show out?
I did, I saw ads for it in the New York City subway.
It's like so-and-so's place, right?Guys, it's called Happy's Place.And I'm conflicted because I, of course, want more Reba McEntire TV shows.
But the problem is, is growing up, there was a local kids' show where a, like a clown hobo character and his frog sidekick introduced cartoons, basically.It was called Happy's Place.He was Happy the Hobo.
And so I can't see these ads and not be like, this feels like stolen valor, Reba.I was- I mean, she does play a- Don't impress me much.
She does play a hobo that introduced cartoons.That's not a Reba McEntire song, Happy. Reba McEntire, you know what they say, Jolene.
Introducing the podcast premise within... Should have been a cowboy, am I right?Wasn't Don who made Honky Tonk Angels, right Reba?
Yep, Folsom Prison Blues.
This is a Reba McEntire podcast.Don't even, like, I love the show Reba.I watch the shit out of it.But I still, like, to this day, I can't get over how, like, self-aggrandizing the opening credits song is.It's like, you know, she's a single mom.
Wake up in the morning with a cup of ambition.
No, you're messing up my bit, Elliot.Sorry.It's okay.You know, she's a single mom who works too hard.I got Elliot to apologize, by the way.
I know, it didn't work when I tried to shut you down.
So, she's a single mom who works too hard.She loves her kids and she'll never stop, you know, like giving hands on the heart of a fighter.I'm a survivor.But I'm like, have you watched the show?She's like kind of a jerk to everybody.
I mean, she, you know, but as far as she doesn't leave the park.
What if she was a man, Stuart?
Okay, lock me up.What if she was Heba McIntyre?You would not have this problem.You'd say, what a strong, dominating man.
Guys, take me away, and as again, because it's Friday, I won't get out until Monday, so I deserve... So, Dan, what do we do on this podcast other than talk about Stewart's specific grievances over the Reba McEntire theme song?
I can't see it at home, but there's almost a spit take. This is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it.Normally it's just us three knuckleheads, but we're glad to have Hallie back for- Star of the show, yeah.Halloween.
While branding it, right?It's called the spookiest and most adorable time of the year.
Yeah, we are deep into Shocktober, and so we're watching horror movies, and this time we- Are we?Yeah, well, this one's questionable.It's not like- It counts.It counts.A long PSA about bullying, maybe.This was called Dear David.
Guys, real quick, do you think we're gonna get haunted by a ghost that makes us pee our pants for making fun of this movie?
Oh, no.I didn't think about that.
And we're all kind of approaching that age where we're gonna be peeing our pants anyway.
Yeah, I feel like at this point I'm like, okay, well, this is different.I haven't done this in a long time.
Guys, I have two children.I pee when I go for a run.I mean, I push them out of my body somehow.
You're still carrying around the damage of human reproduction.
Meanwhile, your husband, his penis hasn't changed noticeably, as far as I can tell.
His penis only leaks when it's diseased.
He pees his pants just for fun at this point.Yeah, just for the challenge.
So, dear David, this is from BuzzFeed Studios, and that's not a joke.This is a movie about a BuzzFeed writer based on a BuzzFeed writer's- Based on a true story, Dan.
Based on a true Twitter thread about a haunted apartment.Well, I liked Zola, and that was based on a Twitter thread.Is this the same?
Yeah, but the thing is, Zola, I'm sure there was- Does this movie also feature a montage of penises?I'm sure there was some level of embellishment in the film Zola, but that was grounded.
I mean, the life of Emile Zola was nothing like that.
It was grounded in our reality, whereas this movie has, you know, a kid appearing in dreams and doing monster things.
It specifically says it's based on a true story, and I'm like, okay, I guess we got fucking evidence that ghosts exist.
Yeah, it's true.You're David. I mean, it's not even the first ghost movie to say it was based on a true story to be honest.Amityville Horror has been pretending to be based on a true story for, you know, almost 20 years now.
You're still allowed to make fun of it, Ellie.
You can't lie on Twitter.Everything on Twitter.It's all true.It would get a community note if it was wrong.
Hallie Haglund, the Daily Show with Jon Stewart.
Yes.Which part of this was actually, like, how much, it was the Twitter thread while he was tweeting, but was a guy really tweeting, like, my house, my apartment is being haunted, here are the things I'm doing?
Like, which part of it was part of the story?
I don't know.I did not care enough to research.Dan, you're usually like Encyclopedia Brown over here, so.
No, I mean, I did limited research on this. I think that the, I think it's based on a true story in that this guy tweeted that he was being haunted by a ghost kid in his apartment.
And he said that some of these things happened, like his cats would act weird and like a chair would move and stuff.
Yeah, because cats are totally normal.
It became a popular thread, and I think that that is all what is true.
And they didn't change his name, and I'm assuming, in reality, his boss isn't played by Justin Long.
And they didn't change his comics to better comics.
Are those the actual comics?Can I be a bully for a second?Can I be a bully for a second?
Just for a second. But we're entering, wait guys, we're entering the bully zone.This is the one place where it's okay to be a bully.After we leave the bully zone, it is not okay.
Thank you, thank you.Finally a safe space for bullying.I'm not a fan of this guy's art style.
I'm not a fan of the style and the content, which is like, stripped down cartoons as memes or like Twitter jokes style.
Yeah.Nothing appeared to be funny in these cartoons and they seem to be sort of the, I mean, it was just a bully zone.He can say whatever he wants.We are in the bully zone.It's lazy.
There were lazy, like repeated frames of just like, you know, like he has this digital art and then he would just like double up on the, I don't know.I just didn't like it.
Like, I'm willing to accept that not all art is for me.It should be because I'm a straight, white, middle-aged man.
All art should cater to my experience.You are the default basic prototype of a human, sure.
Okay, we should get out of the bully zone because we'll get a ghost kid after us.
Yeah, we don't want to go skedaddle.I will say, while we're still in the bully zone, yeah, comics are more about a recognizable feeling than they are a joke.
And that maybe translates better when you are scrolling through a feed online than when it is being shown full frame in a movie. Yeah.Yeah.
I found it very hard to read.There was a lot of reading involved in watching this movie.
This movie was almost a book.
It went by very fast.I didn't read half of the comics.I couldn't, it was hard for me.
There was a lot of comments scrolling along the screen, a lot of tweets being put up on screen.
And I'm like, what is this, a production of Dear Evan Hansen?
I apologize for being mean about it.I think it's because... You can be mean.We're in the bully zone.Well, we got out of there.
Guys, it was a trick.We left the bully zone a minute ago.
Oh my God.I said so many horrible things.
And Torrible things.Yeah, things about Tor Johnson.
No, I went and looked for comics by the actual guy to just confirm.Are you stalking him, Dan?I just was curious, like, are these the actual comics?And they were, you know, like, it's the same stuff.
I mean, I've seen these around before.
Look, if they can use the real Freddie Mercury audio tracks in Bohemian Rhapsody, then they can use his real comics in the movie.The actor doesn't have to redraw the comics, Stan.It's okay to reuse them, you know?
I mean, especially because this is put out again by BuzzFeed Studios.Yes, they own it, probably.Where they're like, what do we have?What do we have lying around?I think this guy wrote some tweets.
Have they put out anything else?Have they done anything else, BuzzFeed Studios?Yes.
That's a good question.They have?
Yeah, I don't know what else.
Like Listicle the movie?I found reference to other stuff.
They were doing an Amazon show, weren't they, about the Hulk Hogan thing, but then it never got put on the air.
Maybe, I think The Brutalist is from BuzzFeed Studios.
I'm not sure about- It wasn't Infinity Pool, a BuzzFeed Studios production?Yeah, yeah, Dan.
I'm not sure about other movies.
I know that- Tanteen, was that a BuzzFeed movie? There's a TV show called- Teton.Teton, sorry.Tarantino would be a different movie.Yeah.
There's a TV show called Worth It that Audrey watched for a while that's about food that was a BuzzFeed Studios thing.Gross.Okay.Gross.
Gross from what the, I'm guessing the, I could be wrong, but the implication to me from just the title is whether or not this food that is probably unhealthy for you is worth it.
No, you're actually wrong.Expensive food?No, they go to,
They have similar food, although sometimes they stretch the definition of like, what's the same kind of, no, like they stretch what is the same food, but they eat food at different price points.
And they're like, okay, like this is, this is great, cheap fried chicken.This is like the fancy, like, like what's worth it here.Like what's the best that we had. You know, it's like a zippy, like, I think it's like a 15 minute, it's fine.
Now, obviously, I want to make two points.Obviously, we have a lot to say about Dear David.We're just brimming with comments about it.
But also, obviously, if anyone from BuzzFeed Studios is listening, we would be happy to do work for you in exchange for money.So, don't take this as us feeling like we're superior.
We're just trying to get the word out about your studios.Yeah, yeah.Consider this- No press is bad press.All press is good press.
This is promotion.You're working for exposure right now.So anyway.Yes.Let's talk about the movie, Dear David, shall we?So we start with a title that explains that in 2017, that's right, everybody, we're going back in time, seven whole years.
All right.To 2017, a more innocent time when the president was a madman, as opposed to living in a time where the president is just an old man.And Adam Ellis is documenting- Gary Oldman? Gary Oldman cannot be president.
He's not an American citizen, I don't think.He wasn't born in America.
He disappears into a character.
That's true.Like a Dave type situation?A Dear David type situation?Anyway, it says that in 2017, Adam Ellis documented strange happenings on Twitter and it became a viral sensation.
I, of course, am an old man, so I was not aware of this viral sensation until I saw the movie.
Do you think they were playing on naming the sequel to this movie, Meet Dave, and they're like, fuck that movie already exists.
Yeah, probably.Yeah.What if we called it David Duchovny?No, that's a person.Yep.Not allowed.
Are we going to do the sequel was going to be Meet Dave?
Yeah.Cause you got to meet him in the first movie.You don't really meet him much to be honest.
That's the thing. Well, we're not introduced to him, I guess.
Thanks for backing me up, Elliot.Yeah, no, I'm with Stuart on this one.Maybe it's just because he's wearing glasses now.Anyway, the year, but then we don't go to 2017.
We go to 1996, New York City, and a guy who runs a store of some kind, he's super excited about the internet.He feels like there's so much potential there for the future because tens of millions of people are using the internet.
And their son, David, loves computers.He's always in the basement.
Was it even, I don't even think it was a million people.I think he was like, 900,000 people are on the internet.
Oh, I thought he said like 39 million people.
Maybe I only, this is only one way to solve it.We got to watch Dear David again.
One of the strangest things in a strange, I mean, this is a thin movie, but it has some very strange stuff in it that And in this year of our Lord, they think that they have to promote the idea that the internet is huge.
Like, this feels like a leftover from like fear.com or something where they're flashing back and they're like, there's going to be so many people online and our kid is obsessed with it.
I think they're trying to establish the idea that David and his family are like early adopters of the internet.But it also, again, does not seem like you need to do that.It seems totally unnecessary.
But you also learn that David's mom is not happy about the stuff that she is being exposed to online.She doesn't like that David is sitting in the basement with no lights on, bathed only in the glow of the screen.That's right, he saw the-
This giant monitor glow and he's like a kind of a pale creepy kid classic kind of horror movie creepy kid and David posts like a picture that he drew I guess which almost instantly online trolls start insulting him and then say why don't you kill yourself?
That's the end of this chilling scene because I hate to break it.
They're really mean about that picture cuz like yeah, I I mean, it's the best picture in the movie, to be honest.And the other thing is, it's like, it's better that your art caused a reaction, you know?
It's better than if they just scrolled past it and didn't care.
Exactly.I mean, David should have just typed back, hey, you're talking about it, aren't you?
Yeah.Yeah.This is what Andy Warhol went through.Also, I feel like... Is that what Andy Warhol went through?
Go see a new Warhol.I feel like this gets really muddy later in the movie, where then, like, David is made out to be some sort of demon creature that possesses people.
Yeah, he's a demon.Well, he's a vengeful, he becomes a vengeful spirit, you know, as so happens.
He's like one of those Sadakos.
We're also left with the assumption, oh, he must have been driven to suicide from trolling, but that's not what happens in the movie at all.
That's what I'm saying.He doesn't become a vengeful spirit.He appears to have been something beforehand, but we'll get to it.
Anyway, that's the end of that.Now it's 2017.I like the lesson they're doing here.It's not that the internet was a nice place and it was ruined by trolls. They were always there.They were the first ones.
Now it's 2017 again, and there's this guy, Adam.He is addicted to his phone.He's commuting from Queens to Manhattan to the BuzzFeed offices.He cannot get his face off of this phone.
The only time he stops is when he's underground on the subway because this is 2017.It hasn't been wired for Wi-Fi in the subway yet.I was just in New York City.They solved that problem.Everyone's glued to their phones while they're in the tunnel too.
It's really a better way to live, right guys?
Elliott's complaining because his busking didn't earn him much money.When Elliott was saying Showtime and flipping around.
There used to be an era when you walked into a subway train, you shouted, Showtime, Showtime, press play on a boombox, and then almost kicked people in the face.They would notice, and now they don't even notice anymore.
Have you ever seen somebody get kicked?I've never seen someone get kicked.
I've seen video of it, but I've never actually seen it in person, no.I've seen it almost happen in person.
I want to say, like, You know, if you have to take the subway long distances, I say, God bless having phones and it's not wired for Wi-Fi as much as I would like.There's still plenty of dead spots.
All right.Yeah.It's just, there's a thing called a book.
I read books on my phone.I have the Libby app.Okay, fair.Yeah, and that's mostly what I do on my phone these days.
Okay, that's a fair point.You know what?As long as you're reading books on your phone, Dan, I'm okay with it.No.
What about short-form erotica?
I mean, you compile enough into a book.
What about the Inside Out video game?
There's an Inside Out video game?
Yeah, you shoot memories at other memories to eliminate them.
Just like in the Martin Dupont song, Inside Out.Okay, anyway, so this guy's addicted to his phone, but he works at BuzzFeed.It's okay, he's a cartoonist.Just like my shirt. Inside out, just like my clothes.
So he's a cartoonist and there are all these trolls being like, your art sucks.And his coworkers are like, don't respond to them.Don't engage with trolls.Don't do it.
I feel like the majority of people are like, oh man, so real.Or like, I love this.But then there'll be like one person will say something and it'll really stick in his craw.
Ain't that the way?Ain't that the way, people?
Yeah, I agree.You think it would be easy to just ignore that, but then you see like a, let's call him man decoy, who has a lot of trouble engaging with people online who create even the smallest of criticisms.
Again, this is a totally hypothetical person.
Dan's gonna choke you until you pee your pants tonight.
You know, now that I'm medicated, I have better emotional regulation, you know, executive function.It's all, it's all, it's all going up for old man DeCoy.
That's the man DeCoy is doing better, yeah.And so Adam's boss, Justin Long, in a role that we have to assume was shot over the course of a day, maybe a day and a half in one location.But I will say also,
The most fun thing in the movie, in my opinion.
By far.The movie comes to life during the four minutes or so scattered through the film that he's on screen.
Is he supposed to be Jonah Peretti?
Is that a BuzzFeed person?
Are they related to Chelsea Peretti?
Yes, they're brother and sister.And their dad is a big mogul who bought them each an internet site.Famous people.
I think I'm right.Well, yeah, I think, no, I gotta look it up.
I'm afraid I don't know who he's supposed to be.They never gave him a name.
Ali's worried about spreading misinformation.
Well, if we're gonna be in the bully zone, we might as well get our facts straight.
No, the thing is we're not in the bully zone, but we haven't yet gotten to the AstroTurf zone where we can just kind of say made up stuff, you know, the fake news zone.
Right now we're in the woolly bully zone.
Uh-oh. I gotta tell Hattie about it.This thing I saw.No, I'm right.
I'm right.I'm right.Okay, so Wooly Bully, Dan, what's that song?
That song's literally about just seeing a really wooly bull, right?
Let's see.Well, the lyrics I think go… Like a Highland cow?Wooly bully.Wooly bully.Wooly bully.
Those are the only lyrics I recall about it.No, it's about a thing he saw.It had two big somethings and a wooly jaw. And then they dance.Okay, well now I gotta check this out.You gotta do some research on this one.
That'll give me time to talk about the movie.So Justin Long is like, Adam, your reach is not enough.And your humor needs to be more about the painful aspects of life.It needs to be more painfully truthful.
And Adam's like, ugh, I'm gonna lose my job if I don't do that in this cutthroat world of online cartooning at BuzzFeed, if I don't get my reach.And he complains to his boyfriend, whose name is Kyle, Kevin?
Kyle, and all Adam ever talks about in this movie is either his job or ghosts.And Kyle, meanwhile, is like. Hey, can I meet your parents?Hey, my mom is having surgery and Adam is- My mom is having a hysterectomy.
And he goes, hey, I want to meet your mom.And Adam goes, my mom is too crazy.
Guys, guys, this is, I'm sorry, this is very important.I think I need to do a dramatic reading of the lyrics.
Of the lyrics to Wooly Bully?
Not the whole thing, but I'll go up through the first- Yeah, let's not be crazy.I'll go up through the first chorus.Here we go. Uno dos, one two, tres cuatro.I, Wooly Bully, watch it now, watch it.Here he comes, here he comes.Watch it now, he getcha.
Maddie told Hattie about a thing she saw, had two big horns and a wooly jaw.Wooly Bully, Wooly Bully.Yeah, drive.Wooly Bully, Wooly Bully. Wooly bully.
You could write a hit song about anything back then.
Do you think that they wrote the lyrics for that verse?
And they were struggling to find the right melody?
A perfect melody for this.
Yeah, it's actually a poem set to music.Yeah.Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was trying to explain oldies music to my son, and I was like, yeah, you don't have a lot of songs now where someone with a deep voice is just going, in the background, and then goes, yeah, at different points.He's like, did they used to do that?
He goes, people loved it.They loved it so much.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.Let me introduce you to the works of Cypress Hill.
Yeah, when I was talking about oldies with him, that's when it was like Brazil.And he's like, that's impossible, daddy.You can't be insane in both the brain and the membrane.It happened.That song is based on a true story.
Speaking of based on a true story, dear David.So anyway, these two teens, we cut away to two teens.They are trolling people online. It is so cartoonish.The dialogue is so after school special.Oh my God.Hey man, I don't think we should do that.
Come on, don't you want to be funny?
And they- And I like when he's like, oh, I'm sick of this.I'm going to go watch Riverdale.Yeah, they do say that.They literally say it.They gotta place it in time, you know?
They might as well have been being like, we're in the bully zone.We can bully here.
On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog, dude.Like we can be bullies here.
But they're contacting- But this is important. Yeah, this is important because this is where we learn the ghost rules.
This is where I meet Dear David.Dear David is a profile that reaches out.He will answer two questions, but not three.And then they are mean to him.And he warns them that he goes, how am I going to die?Or whatever.
And he goes, you're going to die wetting yourself in bed.And he's like, ugh, whatever. That night, Adam is out at drinks with his friends.
It comes out that he forgot that his boyfriend is going out of town to help his mom through her hysterectomy operation.
I mean, that's shitty partner behavior, honestly.
Adam is a bad boyfriend, the whole movie.He does not deserve to win that.And Kyle seems to be such a nice guy, you know, so thoughtful.He deserves better than Adam, that is for sure.
The thing is, some guys will invent crazy ghost stories just to get out of going to therapy, you know?Mm-hmm, exactly, yeah.
Literally invent crazy ghost stories.
Well, you know, later on, David puts a grinder back on his phone to break them up, and I was like, wouldn't it be wild if he made this whole thing up just as an excuse?Like, no, a ghost put a grinder on there.
I swear, I knocked back on the grinder, it was a ghost. Oh, I better lay the groundwork.I better start pretending I'm being haunted just in case Kyle finds my phone and sees that Grindr is still on it.
Also the idea that David, the 1996 kid ghost is like, I'm gonna get him.I'm gonna put Grindr on his phone.
Also the idea that, I'm sorry, if Kyle saw him on Grindr, that means Kyle was on Grindr.
Well, he says that a friend of his saw him, which means that Kyle was looking at Grindr. but he was away from home helping his mom through a hysterectomy.He just needed to like lose himself physically for a moment.
He needed to leave his body by expressing his body with a stranger.
We don't know what agreement they have.
He needed to celebrate his ability to still conceive, to still spill his seed.
Because his mom lost her seed catcher.
This is why you're not a doctor, Allie.
I've got bad news, it's about your seed catcher.
What?Don't worry, we've done tests, you should still be able to spill your seed.What?Hallie Hallie Hagland, biblical urologist. Well, anyway, guys, get ready.It's about to start laughing.
Stop laughing and start screaming, because we have our first real scare scene where that bully that was bullying Dear David online, he's lying in bed.
Suddenly, a ghostly hand just kind of shoves itself in his mouth and is choking him, and he wets himself and he dies.
It's not even that ghostly a hand.It's just a hand.This is the first scare of the thing.It's just like literally a hand comes out from outside the- To be honest, when I first saw it, I thought it was his own hand.
I thought that hand was scary.I said, That's what I did.
Yeah, it is the scariest thing in the movie.That's for sure.But you're scared of hands, Hallie.That's the thing.
Whenever people accidentally call you Hallie Handland, you go, uh, uh, uh, get me away from me.
There are five worms on the end of my arm.Oh no, I found myself in the glove department.
Oh God, how do I escape? Well, Hallie, I made some hamburger helper for dinner.So that night, Adam, he's lonely, he's depressed, he engages with some trolls.
Ah, a mouse!But the kind you use for a computer.Because your hand uses it.
So anyway, that night, Adam engages with some trolls.He causes a torrent of memes saying, die in a fire, which gets Dear David's attention, which again, is this supposed to be a red herring, the idea that maybe David died in a fire?
That's not what happened.And Dear David goes, why are you so mean?That's how he always starts.And Adam ignores that and goes to bed.The next day, he sees a chair rocking on its own in his room. And then a new story.
I do like that he sets up his own bedroom like it's a hotel room that just has a single chair pointing at the bed.
Yep, just in a corner points at the bed.Then he sees a new story.Well, that's for the cucking. And I'll sing you to sleep after the cookin' with a song I wrote just for you.This is a news story about a teen found dead in his bed.
The next night, he is obsessed with reading replies to his work again.It's all he cares about.What's his reach?What do people think?
He has an ominous walk home, and then while sleeping again, the rocking chair starts rocking, and he briefly glimpses a ghost boy in the chair.Halle, did this scare you?
No, I was eating a salad.
The least scary thing to do.And so you felt protected.You felt like you were doing something good for your bowels.Yeah, exactly.So at work, he hears a buzzing and he seems to have been- A buzz feeding?
He's being fed a buzz and he seems to have been transported to the old store from the beginning where the mom- Bodega.
I think we can say it was a bodega.It was a bodega.
I guess it's a bodega.It looks more like a drugstore to me.
It looks like a bodega to me.
All right, well, we can agree to disagree.Let's call it a bodega.I mean, you're right, when I said store, a bodega is not a store.So that was a good correction.That was good, yeah.
I prefer Specispincity.Sorry, Michael J. Fox.What?
So she cut her hair, then America fell out of love with her.
It's amazing.Not since Samson has someone's hair been such the key to their power. That's why they call Keri Russell America's Samson.So at work, he's- She was the face of Samsonite for a while.Yeah, yeah he was.
So she's been transported to the bodega where the mom is like, have you seen Dear David?Have you seen David?Ask him two questions, but don't ask him three questions.Then suddenly he's in Dear David's dark basement.
He gets attacked and then he realizes he's back at his desk.Oh, what a chilling hallucination he's had.What a daydream.
I get that there's like they decided to include some rules.Don't be a bully and don't ask him more than two questions.Like it's pretty fucking lame, right?Like, yeah.Compared to like the ring or like Candyman.I was wondering.Gremlins.
You know, I look, I'll dig in. It follows.I'll make an admission that if the film is less than compelling, sometimes I miss things.I was like, did I miss some reason why you can only ask two questions and no more?No, there's no reason.
No, just because they were told that was the rule.
Yeah, that's the thing.I mean, at least the thing about the bullying, like, makes sense, there's a reason behind it.
It kind of makes sense, but once you learn David's backstory, it really doesn't make sense.
Baby David was super into Japanese gift-giving ceremonies.
I feel like we don't actually know David's backstory.We got a lot of versions of David's backstory.
Oh, so you're saying it's like a last year at Merriam-Vadd type thing where like you figure out what's real and what's not real.
It's a real Rashomon.We've got some unreliable narrators in this.
That's for sure.I feel like we've got some unreliable filmmakers in this one.
Yeah, you are you're in that smile Devilish look right there.
Yeah, so that night there's a bunch of stuff He has his co-worker Evelyn comes over to keep him company.
It doesn't matter They find a camera on the floor that I was not sure if that was something he owned or if it was like a ghostly appearing Well, what's for sure is the cats didn't want him to pick it up.You remember?
No, and the cats don't want him to pick up the camera.This leads to nothing.Yeah.
It never comes back, right?
No, it never comes back.Unrelated.Adam researches David online and considers tweeting about his apartment being haunted.But he's like, I'm not going to do that.And he ignores his boyfriend's messages.
But then he has a montage of like happier memories of being with his boyfriend.And at this point, I'm not quite sure why he's ignoring his boyfriend's messages, except that he's a bad boyfriend.
I mean, the message was really gross.She was he was he was just talking about how his mom couldn't take a shit because she was afraid she'd burst her stitches.
Yeah.But then all you have to write back is like, oh, that sucks.You know, or something like that.Oh, well, poor mom.I mean, oh, well, I'm going to get a sick emoji.
gif of Stephanie from Full House going, how rude, you know?
Yeah.It seemed like he was just in like a flow state of like looking up ghost stuff.He's like, not now, Keith.
I'm busy. Kyle.Kyle.Kyle, yeah.So later that night, does the rocking chair start moving again?You better believe it.And the ghost boy is like, Adam, I'm just a follower.And Adam wakes up scared.
And then there's some Scrabble tiles that have been arranged.Is the implication that David is speaking to him that way too?It's like, David, figure out what your fucking thing is as a ghost.Like, are you in a camera?Are you a rocking chair kid?
Do you use Scrabble tiles?Like, what's your deal?
But he did, he put D-I-A-F, so it's back to the bullying thing.
Yes, it's back to the bully, because it was all D-I-A-F memes earlier, and he's back to that.But it's, even that, David kind of loses interest in it.
Is this, this was my first, this was my first interaction with this acronym.I'd never, I'd never heard of this one before.
I'd never heard of that.So apparently it stands for die in a fire.I'd never heard of it before.I mean, the movie makes that pretty clear, yeah.I mean, maybe they made it up for the movie.
Is it a real thing?I don't know.Or did they just make it up?
Hallie, go to Know Your Meme.
I'd be like, don't I give fucks?Wait, is that?
Dianu, it would have been enough.
Oh no, it's a real thing.
It's a real thing, guys.Don't it.
So we're the ones who are out of touch.
And it's a gonna be a fine.
I wish that's what it said.So Adam is like, I got to get away from this ghost.So he moves all the way one floor up to the apartment above his own apartment.This is a stupid thing to do.
This is New York City, guys.That doesn't happen.
No, it doesn't.But also like the idea is like, I got to get away from this ghost.Luckily ghosts can't use stairs, I think.So ghosts are notoriously leaden and bound to the floor.
One thing I know, it's like ghosts can't pass through walls or ceilings.
Nope, he's safe.So he goes there.
He's like, I'm really stressed out with this ghost and this potential breakup that's going on.I think I'm going to do the most stressful thing possible and move apartments.
Maybe that was just middle ground.It's like, well, it'd be too stressful to really move, but if I can just move some boxes upstairs.
Well, I wish the movie then showed that he had an overlapping month so he could just take his time moving stuff.He didn't have to do it all in one day.
I mean, that's the way to do it, right?
It's worth the money.It's worth eating that extra month's rent just to not have the stress of it.Come on.You can't just eat that rent.Just eat it.Just eat that.Just shove it in your mouth.Eat it up.
So he does move there.The ghost, of course, follows him.And he starts tweeting about this ghost and his boss loves it.And he writes a BuzzFeed article and his readers are like, you should perform an exorcism.
So he and his coworker kind of do a pretty half-assed exorcism.And he tells his coworker, I've been avoiding calls from Kyle because I don't know how to respond when he says, I love you.He keeps saying, I love you.
And I just don't know what the proper response is to that.
It, you know, I gotta say, it is a half-assed exorcism.On the other hand, and forgive me because I'm not Catholic, they do manage to get one of those things that, you know, has smoke that comes out of it that you swing around.
So they went to that trouble.
They do get a censer and like a holy water dispenser too, right?Yeah, they went to a...
What, a church supply store?Where do you get that stuff?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.Christco?Yeah.
Do you have to go to the Vatican for that?I don't know.
They cut out the scene where he flies to the Vatican to ask the Holy Father.
I mean, I haven't seen a Catholic version, but I see, like, down the street from my apartment, there's, like, Judaica stores.Sure.So I'm assuming there's a Catholic version of that.
Of course.There has to be.They don't make it themselves.
You know, you got to make those, you know, offer Torrey plates.Yeah.You need that shit.
Yeah, for your offerings.
I just never heard the word offeratory before.
For your tithes.Mm-hmm, you gotta tithe.
Yeah, when you tithe.You gotta tithe.You gotta tithe this.So, I'm imagining instead of the Got Milk campaign, it's the Catholic Church, and they're advertising got tithe, and it's just different silly little scenarios where somebody has to tithe.
Just the dollar bill over there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. All the kids today are talking about Tide Pods.Why aren't they talking Tithe Bowls?
It's a hot new craze that's sweeping the internet, tithing a tenth of your wages to the church. Kids are, it's called the tithe challenge.
Unfortunately, kids don't have that much of the way of wages, so it's not that effective.
Yeah, it's mostly gum that they're giving to the church right now, but a tenth of all their gum.So it's nighttime. there's a spooky glowing mist under the door as dear David tries a different way to get at Adam.
And the cats are like- That's a classic Dracula tactic.
And the cats are like, I don't like this.Also the fact that David's already in the apartment.So I don't know why that this is the mist under the door as if he's trying to get in.
I thought he was in the internet.What the fuck?Where does this go?
You'll find out.Where does he live? I really needed it answered.What's this ghost's home base?Yeah.That's the kind of note you get from executives.
I worked on a TV show once where some characters were licking a toad that they found in the forest to get high, and one of the executive notes was, wait, so they just reach into a bush and pull out that toad?So does this toad just live in that bush?
We're gonna need some more information about this. She's like, yeah, the audience is really gonna bump on that.
You need to have a fucking Breaking Bad cold open of this fucking frog leaving its house, kissing its wife on the cheek, being like, going back to work, I hope nobody licks my ass.
Another lick, another dollar.
K-Toads come from Australia, not, anyway.
And so the ghost David shows up and Adam's like, what do you want from me?And David's like, that's two questions and then hits him with a typewriter and he wakes up.He's constantly having bad dreams and waking up.
Adam listens to a recording of the haunting.He hears a noise downstairs, wanders around in the dark. It turns out it's Kyle, he's back.Kyle's back, his mom's hysterectomy is done.He can be there again.
They have a very tense conversation about Adam's bad communication skills.And Kyle- And his ass fucking moved while he was out of town and didn't tell him.That's bonkers.Yes, he didn't tell me that you moved apartments.
And this is when Kyle's like, and my friend found your picture on Grindr.And Adam's like, I took it off of Grindr.I haven't been on there in a long time.
I feel like that initial suggestion that this whole thing is just him trying to explain why he's back on Grindr and not get busted for it.
Also, prior to all that stuff, he's just like, and by the way, you've been haunted by a ghost?And I find out via Twitter.
I have to find out online.While I was away, you moved, got haunted, and went back on Grindr, and you didn't tell me any of this?
He's like, uh, uh, uh.You guys, Kyle fucking sucks, okay?Kyle is the worst part of this movie.
Wow.So tell me, because he is certainly a boring character.
So annoying. He's just like all like, I don't, I get why.What's the main guy?Adam.I get why Adam's not into it.
I was like, get off my dick.
I know, seriously.And like, and then what's the thing with like, I think that until you sort your shit out, I should move out.And then he hands him his key and it's like, he moved apartments.That key is to nowhere.Don't worry about it.
Symbolic.Yeah, it's true.That's a good one.Maybe it's the key to his heart.I don't know.
Yeah, is that a key to your fucking dresser?
Here's the key to our sex handcuffs.Just take them for now.I won't be using them.But you'll need them on the grind.I mean, that's a big deal.
The key to the city that you got.I don't want it anymore.
For defeating the penguin, yeah.Yeah. I mean, if he was given that key by Eric Adams, it's basically worthless.Yeah.
Probably the trash.So do you think he's going to be the first mayor of New York to ever just disappear and no one knows what happened to him?
Because he would not be the first mayor of New York to flee the country when the law starts looking at him.He would be the third mayor of New York, at least, to do that.
Yeah.Hey, for more about mayors who had to flee the country because of the law, listen to The 99% Invisible Breakdown, The Power Broker.We talk about it there.Anyway.
Yeah.Log rules.So Kyle dumps Adam and Adam is still tweeting about the haunting.He's losing touch with his friends.His whole life is just about this haunting.Just tweeting about it.This is when he goes home.
He does the thing that all of us would do if we know a ghost is in our apartment watching every move.He gets ready to start masturbating. But his laptop camera turns on and he's like, oh man, oh, what?
That's probably why he's so stressed out.He just needs to crank one out, right guys?
I haven't been able to do it since I've been haunted.
It is hard to do it when you know that there's a ghost kid watching you all the time.
So is that your nightmare?
Really takes the flame out of things, right?You know what I mean?
I don't know what that's a play on words on. I don't know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.Real boner kill.Oh, and also, yeah, Callie, when she said it, she did a- Some kid with a flat head, it's easy.
She did a hand motion where her finger was pointing up and then drooped, and I wasn't sure what that was.I guess that's a softening erection.Yeah, it's a boner being killed.There's a ghost there.
Yeah.So, Dan, is this your ultimate nightmare, that you are jacking into some internet porn, and then the ghost turns your camera on, I guess, so that you're live streaming on the cam site he's using to masturbate to? I don't know.Do I get a cut?
I mean, that's part of it.I'm like, yo, yo, yo.Like, did he already have an account?Is he making, is he making coins and shit for whatever they, whatever.Yeah.
I guess David was to set up an account, set up a account for him.
He's always setting up accounts for him.
Yeah.He's constantly setting up accounts.He's sending stuff through his. He's less a ghost and more of an identity thief at a certain point.
Anyway, then his phone starts playing back things that he said that are, you know, conversations he's had, but his follower count is blowing up because of this haunting.
That night- And probably because of the camera situation.
Sure, yeah.He's not afraid to bear all online.This is when David ups things a little bit.He literally drags Adam out of bed and drags him through the vermin-filled bodega.
and then into, I say glaring at Hallie, and then down the steps into David's basement.And that's when we see, Adam witnesses a scene where David's dad catches him looking at inappropriate online content and he gets mad at him.
So David starts strangling his father and David's mom, in order to stop him, hits him in the head so hard that the top of his head just breaks off.Yeah.Which is hilarious.This is a very funny thing to have happen.
Yeah.And then he somehow manages to survive in a coma for 20 years.For 20 years.With a huge chunk of his head missing.
Yeah.I mean, I'm not a head scientist.Weren't there like microchips and shit in his head or am I thinking something else?
Oh, maybe that's later.Maybe you fell asleep while watching this movie and started dreaming something.
Possibly, but it is a, it is a, it is a, so this is, I guess, and this is, I assumed at the time, this is David's origin story, you know, which means that the, why don't you kill yourself?That doesn't mean anything.
The dying of fire, that doesn't mean anything.
No, he was just learning the ways of being an internet jerk, I guess.
He was being radicalized by the internet.
Yes, he wasn't victimized, he was radicalized.That's the real horror story here, guys.
Yeah, it's an American horror story, yeah.Ryan Murphy, listen to us.
Why don't you make a show about this?
I think he's made 10 million shows about this already.He's made so many shows all about this, yeah.This is what feud Betty and Joan was all about, being radicalized on the internet.Not bad.
I gotta say, not bad. Put two stars, put two big stars in a show.
It was okay.Any show that puts fake words in the mouth of Olivia de Havilland to the point where she has to take them to court, I'm not in favor of.
You know, rest in peace, Olivia de Havilland, a true queen of Hollywood, one of the last links to the classic era.You know, I don't want anyone to get her mad.
I mean, I'm not saying it was tasteful.I will never tar Ryan Murphy with the tasteful rush.
Stewart's nudes are very tasteful.Extremely tasteful.I would say he shouldn't just tape them up on the walls of subway stations.But, you know, if you're going to tape up self-nudes… He wants to get the word out.
You know, how are you going to do it?Yeah, yeah.I'm trying to do some street-level marketing.For your body?Yes.
All right.Okay, that's fair.Joy? So Adam wakes up in the rain, he takes a shower, and when he comes out of the shower, the phrase D-I-A-F is written on the mirror in steam.Oh, network.Adam's just getting weird and distant.He's just getting paranoid.
He can't relate to people.
And his boss is like— Again, at this point, like, we know that David isn't like a sympathetic anti-bully person.He's bad.He's a bad thing.Yeah.So like the whole like him harping on the DIAF thing.
Yeah.It doesn't really.No, you're mean.You're killing people.
Yeah, good point.Yeah, it certainly seems that David is the real villain in this movie about an evil ghost.And Adam's boss is like, let's take this haunting project even bigger.And Adam begs Kyle to help him find out who uses the Dear David handle.
He's like, can't you hack it or have one of your hacker friends do it? Adam then brings in a sort of, okay, here's where there's two characters that should have been one character.
He brings in this sort of millennial psychic who just wanders around his apartment and is like, oh, there's bad energy in here.The apartment's not haunted, you're haunted.And you got to find out the truth about David.
He starts doing some online research.He decides to use the internet to research the ghost that's been haunting him for weeks that he didn't think to research on the internet, even though his internet job is all about using the internet.
He does some online research until a note is slipped under his front door, which leads him to a meeting in a coffee shop with an internet ghost psychic detective.
Internet sleuth.And this sleuth and that millennial kind of like medium, this should have been the same character.
They should have not been in it at all.They were ridiculous.They were like, how do we just, it seems like we painted ourselves into a corner and we need some information provided, but we haven't written a character who could provide that information.
We've painted ourselves into a corner by adapting this ghost tweet thread.
By taking a thing that is not a story and doesn't have a story on it.
I do like when the medium is in his apartment and is like, I'm getting really bad energy from your computer.I'm like, no shit.
This movie, as Dan mentioned very early, it's a thin movie.There's not a lot going on in this movie.This is maybe the least amount of movie I remember us having in a movie at the Flobbist for a while, but it's also, there's no structure to anything.
Things just kind of happen and wander along.And so even the scares, there are times where I'm like, I mean, Night Swim was kind of similar in some ways, where it's like a series of the same scare over and over again.
And you're like, are you gonna like, heighten this in some way?
Or when an actor like Justin Long comes up, we're like, oh, thank God, this is an actual actor.It feels like a movie for a moment.
I can briefly cling to this life boy.
Yeah, he is a real life boy, isn't he?
I combined a couple of different things, like a life raft and a buoy.
That's what I was looking for.Lifesaver.
Yeah.Life boy and his message of life for all of us.
Speaking of lifesavers, I just want to take a moment to mention, there's a joke in the Marx Brothers movie, Horse Feathers, where a woman falls out of a canoe and she says, throw me a lifesaver, and throw me the lifesaver, and Groucho takes out a packet of lifesavers and starts throwing them into water.
My kids find this so funny, but they also are always like, wait, they had lifesavers then?And that really gets to them.
I mean, that was the biggest surprise.That's what I thought when you told me that joke just now.
Yeah, it's a shock for modern audiences to be like, they had this candy in the 30s?Yeah. But that's why, you know, the classics never go out of style.
Did it taste the same or did it taste like sawdust?I'm sure it tasted like sawdust and petroleum jelly.
It tasted like a bunch of twigs and herbs.
Made out of cocaine.Actually, that's true.Back then it probably tasted better.It'd be like real pork fat, you know, boiled in cocaine.Yeah, sure.Yeah. So anyway, it's all butter, just slathered with butter.
Don't make them like that anymore.
Lard.Oh yeah, lard.Instead of corn syrup, it's just the sugar and the cocaine would just get mixed together, you know?
Yeah.I mean, it earned the name Lifesaver at that point.
It saved a lot of lives.During the Depression, people didn't have that much to live for.
You could get by on the calories of one Lifesaver a month.
Yeah, what a better time.
Pemmican has been a big subject in the house lately, because my younger son is like, I want to try some pemmican.That's what I should have for my snack at school.
Who sells pemmican these days?
I think you might have to put some work into making that.I don't know that you can just hop on down to Trader Joe's.
Is that the shit where you like keep in your armpit while you march and then it like softens up?
I don't know about that.But it's like a mix of jerked meat and berries and nuts and things like that.Suet?It's like a trail mix type of thing, but it's all grossly mushed together, yeah.
Like a power bar or something.
Yes, it's like a 19th century power bar or 18th century even, yeah, yeah. Um, so, uh, recipe.Okay.
Dried meat, tallow, and sometimes dried berries.
Tallow.Being raw doesn't require refrigeration.I don't, I really don't get enough tallow in my current diet.
And it's Talloween, you know, it's the time of the year.So he's doing this online research and the ghost sleuth, the online sleuth is like, hey, look, you should search online for a mad woman named Loopy Linda.
This sounds like the kind of shit Loopy Linda's always pulling online.
And he finds videos of this woman, Loopy Linda, who's a mental patient.And these videos... Pretty well edited, right?
Considering it is a security camera feed from the padded room of a mental hospital, the fact that it has multiple angles and close-ups that are edited together.It's pretty impressive.It's very impressive.
And she's being told that she murdered her husband and put her son in a coma.And she goes, no, I fought the devil.I fought the devil.
And then Adam sees a story that was briefly mentioned earlier in the movie as the sort of thing BuzzFeed should be on top of, about a David who woke from a coma after 21 years.Could it be the same David?
Wait, I have a question though.
So are we to believe that what we saw in the dream before where David was the one who actually killed the dad is true?Or are we to believe that the mom actually killed them both?
I think it is giving the movie too much credit to think it's being ambiguous.I think that what happened, what we're being told is David was trying to kill the dad.She attacked David and then she was blamed for both crimes.
And she has now believes that David is possessed or a demon or something like that.
There's rare places that I'm going to compliment this movie, but I did kind of I gave it a little credit.I'm like, oh, that coma detail.Like I really didn't think that that was going to be tied in.That was kind of fun that it was the same guy.
I am going to be, I'm going to, I'm going to do the opposite.I'm going to say, as soon as he mentioned it, I was like, well, this is going to be part of the plot at some point.
Okay.But I'm glad, but look, we can, we can, we can, I thought it was successfully played off as a joke.Cause Justin Long, like it was introduced with Justin Long being like,
You could make all these lists off of this coma guy, like 21 restaurants you go to after you get out of a coma in New York.
Anyway.That's true.Number one, Sbarro.Number two, Times Square Applebee's.I was going to say the exact same thing.Get those fucking dolleritas, baby.
Number three, Guy Fieri's American Cafe Winner.You have to go back in time for that one.
If you've been in a coma that long, one sip of a fucking Dollarita would blow your mind.It would be, especially if your head was all flat from being crushed by your mom.
If a lot of your head is not there anymore, then very much so, yeah.So Adam goes to the hospital.He is told by a, at first, very helpful receptionist that David died a few days earlier.And then the guy's like, who are you again?
And he goes, oh, I'm being haunted by his ghost.He steals that guy's security badge, sneaks into the records for it, David Johnson, which leads him to the address of David's doctor.
But also the morgue thing.That the body has disappeared from the morgue.
Oh, that's right.I forgot about that.The body's disappeared.And he goes to the doctor's house, just walks right in.The door's open, just walks in.I don't even think he rings the doorbell or knocks.I can't remember.
I think the door is open.That's why he's so suspicious.
And he finds the doctor, Dr. Landers, hanging. Dead.
At the top of the stairs in a pretty nice foyer.It's got stained glass.
There's stained glass next to it.
That looked like a Ditmas Park sort of situation.
I was saying the exact same thing.That looked like a Ditmas Park house.Where else in New York can you have a house like that?Yeah.
And there's a thing, this is a moment, so he sees his body.What a dream to live in Ditmas Park.
And it's just a hop, skip, and a jump from Hinterland's Bar.It's lovely.So, he sees the body hanging, and then her eyes open up, and he goes running out, and I'm like, wow, this is based on a true story.This happened.And you know what?
And he doesn't, her eyes open, and he doesn't say, oh, let me help you.Let me call 911.You're not dead yet.He just runs.What an asshole.He's like, oh, you got this.Okay, you're fine.Oh, you're fine.Okay, I'll see ya.
Since we were getting specific about New York stuff, I do want to say that at the very beginning- Because we're talking about Ditmas Park, a neighborhood in Brooklyn most people are not familiar with.
Yeah.That's where they shoot a lot of movies.When he was going to work and using the subway.
It's like living in a suburb in the heart of New York.It's amazing.You can have a full freestanding three-story house.Is that what you're saying?
We live near it, I've seen it.
I say it for the listeners, the listeners who live in places like Alaska, Texas, Kuala Lumpur, Australia, Brazil, they don't know Ditmas Park, yeah.
Hey, if you're trying, like, if you're catching up on movies and you're watching Shiva Baby, because you're like, I'm going through a real Rachel Sennett phase, Shiva Baby, shot in Ditmas Park.
Great, great stuff.Anyway, the point is, it's just gonna get less and less interesting, what I'm about to say, the longer we go.No, I just, at the beginning of the movie, I wanted to say- You're delaying now.
Now you're the one who's delaying now.I wanted to say- He's trying to build up anticipation again.
I wanted to say, because it was demanded of me, that I was watching the beginning when he was going to work, and Audrey saw the very beginning, and she kept being like, This geography makes sense.Yeah.
He went out that exit, and that's the exit you would come out of in the subway.So damning with more faint praise.Dear David, good New York geography, I guess.
He does.Danning it with faint praise, that's damning, as in Dan McCoy.But you say this, the movie may not be based on a true story, but it is based on a true commute, and you cannot take that away from it.
They did the work of figuring out how you would get from basically Queens to Manhattan, right?So, okay.
So if you're coming to the city, you can use it as a guidebook.
Adam, he's like, I'm gonna do this.He caffeinates himself, watches a movie on TV, trying to stay awake, falls asleep instantly.When he wakes up, David is on the TV, and he tries to get Adam to cut his own wrists.
He's like using his ghost powers to control Adam's arms.And when Adam wakes up, his arm is all cut up.At work, Evelyn is pissed at Adam for sending her insulting DMs.
Have we mentioned Evelyn yet?
Yeah, yeah, that's the co-worker who helped him with the exorcist and stuff like that.And Kyle calls and he's like, it was easy to find out who has that Dear David handle.Nobody does.It doesn't exist.You've got to let it go.
And then he's at work and his co-worker's like, hey, can you tell me what you think about this article?And the article is 10 Reasons to Kill Yourself at Work with Pictures of Adam killing himself, and he's so mad.
He's like, this is fucked up, and he has a big blow up.He starts shouting at everyone in the office.
Yeah, it's fucked up you used AI to create these images of me.
Yeah.This is 2017, so it's like, did he pose for these pictures?At no point was he like, how'd you get those pictures of me doing that?He just is like, this is crazy.
Also, like, dog, you're being haunted.Just assume everything fucked up you see is ghost related.
They had Photoshop.Yes, especially because when he sees the article, it really says, top 10 reasons to be yourself at work.
Yeah, which like, what would those reasons be?
I mean, I feel like the subplot of this movie is this other character who is holding on so tightly to their job, even though they should be fired.And this is just more evidence that she does not know what she's doing.
Yeah, what are those top 10 reasons?Dan, what are some reasons you should be yourself at work?
Dan, you've never tried to be anyone else than yourself at work.What other reasons?Yeah.
Yeah, it's only been to my benefit.
Yeah, number one, keeps expectations low.
Number two, don't get called on to do work.They don't trust you.Number three.What?
These are lies now.These are getting into lies territory.
Number three, fading into the background memes.Okay, no, Dan is a great worker.You should hire him.So Justin Long, he comes out and he's like, hey, everybody, everything's fine.You should go home.Take it easy.
To be honest, he handles the situation pretty well. I think he's a really good boss in this moment.He de-escalates, he does not get things worse, he sends the troubled employee out, checks that everyone else is okay.
He's been set up as kind of a shallow guy, but he does a good job bossing here, so good on you.
I feel like this was Jonah Peretti's editorial influence.
This is where the boss is bad at his job, make him good at his job.Yeah, so we'll put this in the cheers column instead of the jeers column.Yeah, because everyone knows your name.And at home, Kyle is mad.
He's like, Adam, why did you send me these abusive emails?And Adam is like, David's taken over my feed.He starts posting anti-David cartoons where he's attacking David, and he's drawn David with part of his head missing, and people do not like it.
The comments are not good on this one, which I understand.
Stop bullying this headless ghost.
Yeah.I want to mention Justin Long being like, well, your work was supposed to become more relatable.And I don't think the audience can really relate to the feeling of being haunted by a semi-headed ghost.
And he throws David's rocking chair down the stairs and he's like, I'm in control now.He's not in control.David goes in and starts erasing Adam's work as he's doing it.No, his art, that's how he expresses his soul.
And Adam asked the third question, which I think is just why- Scott McCloud would be shitting himself if he saw this part.
That's true. But I'm trying to make, understand and reinvent comics!Stop!No! I reread Understanding Comics again recently.Great book.Just a fantastic book.
I wasn't a huge fan of his somewhat recent follow-up, Sculptor.Did you read that one?
Sculptor, I liked the art a lot and I liked the storytelling.I didn't love the story, you know.But he's still a master craftsman, but it just wasn't the story for me.But Zot, great series.Can't deny it.
So if Scott McCloud's listening, you're mainly in the cheers category.
Still with Stewart, only partly in the jeers for that one.
Yeah, only partly, for a sculptor.
Okay, and Adam ends up, oh, so this is when he asks David a third question, which triggers David's new ability to turn Adam into a living video game that he can control with a controller.I forgot about this.And it's like,
He controls Adam and makes him light himself on fire, but it's like he's both a video game character and also himself, but it's not like a computer animated video camera.It's live action footage of him moving like he's a video game character.
I could have, like, if this was where the movie was gonna go, I could have used more of this earlier in the film.
This is pretty late in the movie to get this silly.
Yes, I agree.Adam ends up back in David.
What do you think of the video game sequence, Halle?Did this speak to your video game experience?
Yeah, no, I was confused about why there was like two of them now.
Yes, that you're seeing both the like Dear David version of it and the real version of it.It was very confusing.Yeah.It was like, who is seeing this video game version?
But he's also, but there are also two Adams.
There was like a, and then so I, that confused me.
Yeah.And you're just trying to enforce ethics in the gaming and journalism industry, right?That's why you're worried about it.Yeah.So Adam, he ends up back in David's basement and people from Adam's life are like, you suck.You're not good enough.
You know, you'll never be good enough.And then there's an evil version of Adam.
I just read Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow.So I do know about games.I don't appreciate the, Jokes, as if because I'm a woman, I don't know all games.
No, I mean, the joke is more that you're just not, you don't play them, though.
I play them for a video game.
I know, but that's not, oh, okay, sorry, I apologize.
I brought a fresh perspective as someone who didn't know anything about games.
Wow, which one, the new Mortal Kombat, or?
Yeah, yeah, she was coming up with, she was assigned to the Babalities for the new Mortal Kombat.That's pretty cute.Different ways to have characters turn into babies.Oh, that'd be cool.Yeah.
Okay, sorry, back to the game.
And they're like, Hallie, you're on friendships.And you're like, okay, well, what if he like reaches down his throat and pulls his intestines out and it's like there's poop spraying out?
And they're like, no, no, again, we want friendships, not fatalities.
I don't get any of this because I don't play this video game.
It's fine, it's fine.So anyway, there's an evil Adam who's like, you're always going to be alone.
Evelyn and Kyle, they show up to check on Adam because they haven't heard from him and they see his apartment is on fire and they shout for him and he hears them shouting, which gives him the strength to believe in himself.But now,
He has to fight grown-up David, the ghost monster.And again, this is a little late for this monster David to be showing up.And Adam, luckily he manages to take this ghost of a comatose child who's missing part of his head and beat him to death.
So Adam does win this fight.
Yeah.But he does it through like also, I guess, claiming his own self-esteem.Like during this like scene, there's like a lot about like, you know, I'm not gonna let, The internet, tell me how to feel about myself.
People do love me.Yeah.Yeah.He's realizing that he can be the troll in his life.
He doesn't need other people to troll him.I mean, it's always been kind of messagey, but it gets real messagey at the end here.
Yes, very much so.Anyway, Adam is about to escape the burning apartment when a blast knocks him out. and Evelyn and Kyle pull him to safety and Adam tells Kyle he loves him, which feels like a little too little too late.
Like if he's got to drag you out of a burning building for you to say you love him, then this is not the man for you, Kyle.
Kyle should consider himself lucky he got anything.
People know that, like, stuff has been happening because, for instance, his co-workers, like, the bad messages she supposedly got, got changed to good messages.But that confused me because I'm like, well, he doesn't remember sending any messages.
I mean, Dan, when I have a couple in me, I'm sending all kinds of crazy shit to people in my contacts.That's true.
I've done that. He's been haunted for days.He's got all this built up sperm in him from not being able to masturbate for a while.So he's liable to tweet, to text any positive thing to somebody.
Yeah, Ellie, you were saying how much that hurts for a guy.Yeah, I mean, a lot of people don't understand how much that hurts for a guy.It needs to, much like toxic gas, it needs to be vented periodically.
I just like the idea that when you get really horny, what you do is you send out really nice messages to people that are just like, you've been killing it at work.
Maybe my sexuality just triggers something different in me than you.Maybe you have a more grim kind of dark sexuality, but I get off on praising people.
Dan's dark passenger takes over.
Well, it's very mysterious.It's a very mysterious sexuality, Elliot. It's mysterious.
It is mysterious, and should remain that way.And Kyle manages to save David's cats also, and everyone apologized to each other.
But as Adam is being taken away in an ambulance, there's kind of flashes of David's face in the reflection in the window, which I don't know if it was implying that he's still haunted, or David lives in him now.
He is still haunted, but David lived in him, that the real Adam died, and now David.
You think that's what it was?
And this is a true story.
It is a true story.So in real life, that guy is now an evil ghost, is what you're saying.And it ends then, it goes to a woman who's on a Twitch stream, and she's like, this Adam stuff is all fake.It's so dumb.
And these snarky commenters are telling her to say three questions.She goes, OK, I will.Dear David, you suck.Why are you so dumb?Why are you so crappy?Oh, it's so fugly. And then the screen glitters.
She doesn't even see his fucking picture.How does she know he's fugly?It undercuts her message.
Her second question was, for real, remember?Just the number four.
Yeah, that's right.And there's screen glitches.These weren't even sick burns.She suddenly, her body is taken over and she smashes her own face into the table in front of her until it's a real pulpy mess.This was a little bit too harsh for me.
And this feels so much like a scene that was tacked on at the end, because they felt they needed more gore.And I was like, too far, guys, too far.
I'm going to say something nice about whoever wrote this, which is that- God damn, what?
Are you in love with this person or something?No, I'm just saying, oh, I got him.
I'm gonna say that they have never entered the bully zone in their life, because whenever they try and write someone being a bully online, it is so absurd.
It reminds me of, so my sons have really gotten into the idea of roasting each other, and they'll have kind of roast battles in the back of the car.And the roasts are mild.These are mild roasts.
My older son, he'll be like, when your mom is so dumb, he'll do those kinds of stuff, but they never quite work.And then my younger son will just turn to him and go, You're the stupidest person in the world.And it's so intense.
He just says it so seriously.And I'm always like cringing.Like, ooh, rough.Harsh but fair, right?
I like to imagine Gabriel being like, you're talking about our mother.
That would be really funny.We have the same mom.But yeah, so that's, and that's Dear David, the ghost lives on and it's just going after random streamers, smash their face against tables.
Maybe they added the scene at the end because they were trying to clarify for people who had confusion like some of us did as to whether or not David lived on through Adam, they were demonstrating David lives on.
Then it's not easy to kill a ghost.I think the ending of the movie kind of reminded me of something.I think this is going to lead us directly into final judgment.So, Dane, do you want to set up final judgments for everyone?
Oh, so it's not going to lead us into... I'm going to lead and then this will be the beginning.Okay.
Let's offline about this later, Dan.I don't need to work this out on camera, on mic.
This is final judgment.This is the section where we decide if this is a good movie, a bad movie, or a what movie?
No.Right?I got a mic.I mean, to be honest, this category is a little better than we usually have.October ones.Was it totally scarifying, totally snorifying, or frighteningly funny are the special Shocktober categories that everyone hates but me.
So what I was saying is that
The ending of this movie, specifically the sequence where this woman who's a streamer ends up smashing her face into her keyboard, brought to mind a movie that I think does a much better job of capturing the alienating feel of living most of your life online.
There's a movie called Cam, which is fucking great.It was directed by the same guy who directed How to Blow Up a Pipeline a few years ago.Did you say it's called Ham? Cam.Cam?
It's about... Like your favorite character from Modern Family.
Yeah.And it's about a young cam girl who's very ambitious and successful.A young ham girl?You know, he's... I'm asking for it at this point.A young ham girl.
There's something about... This is bad.There's something about Stuart when he wears glasses that makes me want to go after him even more.Now I get it.I get it now.
I accept it. So it's about a cam girl.So she's a cam girl.She's very, she's successful.And then she discovers somebody is, seems to be impersonating, not only like using her account, but like is her on the internet.
And she's trying to figure out why this doppelganger of hers exists in the digital space.It's great.And it just, like thinking about like the ending of this movie mimics some stuff from cam.And it just really highlighted the fact that
this movie does not know what it's doing.It's like they throw in a few scares here and there, but like it feels even to the title is wrong headed.Like you're calling it dear David does not indicate it's scary or about a ghost.
It's calling to mind a Twitter thread, which if you're already interested in the Twitter thread, like you don't need the name, like call it scary ghost thing.
There's also like a YA rom-com movie called Dear David that exists already.And the title works much better for that.
That's actually what I watched.Oh no. So, I'm going to say this is snorifying.
Snorifying.Yeah, I also say it's snorifying.
This is our friend Kevin Marr, who has the show Kevin Geeks Out, does a thing called The Kindest Cut, which is just, you know, taking a movie and like only including the stuff that you want to see in that movie, like the funny stuff, you know, and often it's enough to kind of give you an idea of the plot.
This is a movie that would really benefit from a kindest cut because there is like, some wacky stuff in here that's really funny and weird and wrong headed.And if you cut this movie down to like seven minutes, I would be amused by it.
But, uh, otherwise it has so much, nothing going on that I have to say, snorifying.What do you guys think in LA on the other coast?
Yeah, I am also going to call it snorifying because for all the reasons you guys said already, like this just not very much happens.And it feels very weird that it feels like it's being very like, um, uh, uh, why am I blanking on the word?
Very like it's sticking very closely.The details of erotic. Yeah, very erotic.It's sticking closely, I assume, to what happened in the Twitter thread, because otherwise you would have invented some more interesting things to have happen.Right.
I don't know why it's showing such fidelity, it seems, to it, but it's such a, the haunting is so low level.
Is that the word that escaped you all?
Fidelity?It was not.Hard for you to recall that word?
Hallie, it was one time, one time. But it feels like there's just not a lot going on in this movie.It feels like this.I feel like after when I watched Night Swim, I was like, this movie doesn't really have the scares I'm looking for.
And then I watched this and I was like, Night Swim, I'm sorry.You were doing what you needed to do.But Dear David, it's like kind of barely a movie, which is too bad because I like watching movies.Hallie, what do you think?
Yeah, I liked the premise of this movie.I can't tell if you guys, it didn't seem messagey to me that there would be a horror movie about someone who's like a vigilante against internet bullies.I thought that was intriguing and like a good idea.
And then just, they just didn't do anything with it.It made me feel like anytime I write something, I'm trying way too hard, because this.
Well, that was the thing that was baffling to me about.
And it's a movie and I read it.
about this movie, I'm like, this was a movie that they were like, yeah, let's go ahead and make it.That's the part that confuses me about this movie.
I wouldn't be surprised.I wouldn't be surprised.You never know what's going on behind the scenes.If they were like, we have a release date set for this movie, so go make it.And they don't really have time to do much with it.
Like there's always, I will say, I'll give our proviso that we use sometimes where it's like, You don't know what's going on behind the scenes with movies.
The creative people who make movies are often undercut or handcuffed or held back or hurt by production difficulties, scheduling difficulties, the people they answer to money-wise.So you never know.
I don't want to be a real troll bully and be like, everyone who made this movie sucks.They're really bad.
Yeah, we just said BuzzFeed.I think we made fun of BuzzFeed Studios.That was it.
And we made fun of those cartoons.But that's, hey, that's pretty mild bullying, honestly. That's true.But you never know.
Are you guys trying to be so nice just because of this movie in particular?Or is this your new thing?
I think we're just kind of nicer in general now.But it is baffling to me that this movie was made.Or that someone didn't see the script and say, can we add some more ghost stuff in this?Can we make this scarier or funnier or more exciting?
It's like, are they worried that like people are going to show up who are like, uh, I was a fan of the Twitter thread and there's changes and I don't like it.
Like, do you think that's going to happen?I mean, I wonder if, or it may be also just the fact that I wonder if Buzzfeed was like, stick with what we own.Don't change anything about it.
Well, given the fact that none of us have researched the Twitter thread, we actually don't know if there is a lot of fidelity to the Twitter thread, but I bet it did sell.I bet it sold because of Zola Stewart.I feel like they probably were like,
maybe it sold even around the same time.And they were like, that did so well, let's buy this one.
Hallie, do you think we could sell a movie based on our chore from years ago?Oh my God.BuzzFeed Studios.I forget what I said about Dear David.It's great.Why don't you buy ours, Rich?Oh, wow.
It's intellectual property theft there.
To quote Mr. T. Tiger, it's great.
I know, he says they're great, but still.
This season on The Adventure Zone, Abnimals.Get ready for a brand new crime-fighting trio, here to protect the anthropomorphic muscular animal citizens of River City.Featuring Justin McElroy as Axolile, the firefighting axolotl.
Clint McElroy as Roger Moore, the debonair cow of mystery. Griffin McElroy as Navy Seal, the raw seal that has never served in the armed forces, and Travis McElroy as every other swole critter in River City.
This swear-free, Saturday morning cartoon-inspired story airs every Thursday on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts.
I'm Emily Fleming.And I'm Jordan Morris.We're real comedy writers.And real friends.And real fucking cheapskates.We say, why subscribe to expensive streaming services when you can stream tons of insane movies online for free?
As long as you're fine with 25 randomly inserted super loud car insurance commercials.On our new podcast, Free With Ads, we review streaming movies from the darkest corner of the internet's bargain bin.
From the good to the weird to the holy shit look at Jean-Claude Van Damme's big old butt.Free with ads, a free podcast about free movies that's worth the price of admission.Every Tuesday on MaximumFun.org or your favorite pod spot.
Hey, you know what?We've got a sponsor this week and that sponsor is named Factor.And you know, I love what they're putting down here in the ad copy because I'm a guy with a lot of sweaters.
And Factor reminds us that sweater weather is here, and it pairs perfectly with savory fall foods.When you're having a sweater, when you're having a sweater, when you're having a sweater on your body.
When you're chowing down on a sweater, because you're a moth.You want to have some savory fall foods.And Factor's fresh, never frozen meals pair perfectly with your busy fall schedule.And you know what?
For whatever reason, and I know the reason, I just have a bunch of Halloween-loving freak friends, and also we've got flop TV going on.October is always filled with stuff.
Yeah, Dan's swamped, guys.
Stuffed like a cornucopia on a Thanksgiving table.So if you don't have a lot of time... Oh, but that's in November, sorry.
You know, you can have a cornucopia anytime.
It doesn't just have to be in Movember.When it comes to meals, everyone wants the same thing.Options.That's why Factor offers 35 wholesome meals every week.
So you'll always find something you love that suits your lifestyle from easy breakfast and smoothies.
That's a lot of meals for one week.That's five meals a day.You should not be eating that many meals.
Perhaps it's for a family, you know, I mean, I think that's the options of meals.
None of your business.That's true.You know what?I shouldn't be.I shouldn't be.
I shouldn't argue with other people's food habits.
Yeah.From easy breakfast and smoothies to delectable, delectable, even midnight snacks.Factor has over 60 plus add ons.There's no prep, no mess, just delicious meals that feature premium ingredients like Filet mignon.You like that?
You like that, Elliot?Filet mignon?
Yeah, protein.I do.Shrimp.
I like that also.Shrimp's great.
And blackened salmon delivered right to your door.Sounds good.Ready in just two minutes.You'll savor every last bite. I've had some of these factor meals.
Uh, I, unlike Elliot love to cook, but also like Elliot, sometimes maybe I don't want to cook just because you love something.It doesn't mean you want to do it all the time.And factor meals is a great option.These meals were delicious.I enjoyed them.
So if you want to enjoy them too, you can go to factor meals.com slash flop 50 and use code flop 50 to get 50% off your first box and 20% off your next month.That is code.
Flop50 at factormeals.com slash flop50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month.
Is Factor brought to you by the same people who made Fear Factor?Because I wouldn't need that.
No.No, no.This is nothing to be afraid of.I think I've told the story before about how I didn't get to eat too many of our Factor meals because my wife kept taking them to work for lunch.I'd be like, I'll have this today.Oh, it's gone.
Oh, I took that for lunch.She liked them.
Mm-hmm.So Elliot had to eat soda.
Yeah.I had to make my own Pemican and get all the lifesavers.Yeah.
Uh, I have a little plug to do now that we're in the plug section.
Uh, if you are listening to this, you still have a little bit of time to go support Jiggle Studio, a, uh, a studio gym space opening here in Brooklyn, New York, um, that my wife and I are opening with some friends.
This is our first time branching out from just doing bars.Instead, we're doing a workout space that's going to be classes like yoga, Pilates.There's going to be burlesque class, dance classes, and then Charlene's patented hangover helper class.
It's going to it's a ton of fun.She's patented.
If I say it on a podcast, it's patented, right?Yeah, yeah.Just take that class, put it in an envelope, mail it to yourself.
Thank you.That's what I'm doing right now.If you get a chance, head over to Kickstarter and look up Open Jiggle Studios and you can learn all about it.There's plenty of cool merch.You can sign up in advance for classes if you live in the area.
And yeah, you can help our dream come true.The Kickstarter is going really well so far, and we're pleased with all the great support. So thanks, and open our gym, please, Jugle Studio.
I also wanna make sure people remember that, as Dan mentioned, we are still doing Flop TV season two.It's going on right now for six months from September through February.
The first Saturday of each month, we are live streaming a one-hour kind of TV version of The Flop House, and then that video gets archived, and you can watch it whenever you want if you have a ticket to it.It's the first Saturday in every month.
The next episode we're doing will be November 2nd.When we're talking, Caddyshack 2, because this season is all about sequels.We had a lot of fun with Robocop 2, had a lot of fun with Break-In 2.
We are ready to be hurt, to not feel good after watching Caddyshack 2.But the theme song says, I'm all right.I mean, the theme song to Caddyshack, the Caddyshack 2 theme song is, I won't be all right. Yeah.We went too far this time.
Nobody asked for another.Wow.Making it was kind of a crime.Who knows?Maybe we'll think it's great.So that's the, that's November 2nd, 6 p.m.Pacific, 9 p.m.Eastern time.We'll be broadcasting live, but if you can't make it, that's okay.
Your ticket gets you access to the video.If you go to theflophouse.simpletics.com, you can buy tickets or season passes.What does the season pass get you?
We'll get you five shows for the price of six, and it means you have access to all these videos.You can watch them at your leisure through the end of February, when the videos will be going back into the Flophouse vault.
You said five shows for the price of six.
I'm sorry, that's six shows for the price of five.
Just wanted, I didn't want anyone to not do it because they thought they were overpaying for it.What a terrible deal.
Thanks, that would be a bad deal, sorry.Season Pass gets you six shows for the price of five shows.It's like an extra.So go to theflophouse.simpletix.com to watch Flop TV season two.We've been having so much fun with it.Audiences have been loving it.
We've been getting good audiences and we want you to join them. and have that fun.
And while you're going to theflophouse.simpletext.com, also make a note to yourself to go to your local comic book store, where the first issue of my run of Harley Quinn from DC Comics should be out on comic store shelves now, unless it's sold out already.
That's Harley Quinn number 44, writing by me, pencils and inks by Mindy Lee.The art looks amazing, and I'm very proud of how it's coming out.The first issue comes out
October 23rd, which happened already when this episode comes out, so it should be on comic stores shelves now.Issue 44 of Harley Quinn written by me.But first, go to theflophouse.simpletext.com and get tickets for Flop TV season two.
And now back to the rest of the show.
Yeah.Yeah.Shut up.Shut up, Elliot.It's time for letters. It's time for you to shut up and our listeners to say something.And then we say stuff back.
It's sort of a back and forth.Then you can talk again.
I just, Dan turned into such a troll all of a sudden.He's really Dear David-ing me.
Yeah, I just got a Twitter message from Dear David.He says he's following you now.
I got inhabited by a ghost.This first letter is from Ben.Who writes?Gentle Ben.A rat? You went to two different animals.Interesting.A lot of animals were named Ben.At least two.Ben G. Oddly, the Ben in Ben and Me, though, wasn't the mouse.
That was Benjamin Franklin, of course.
That is ironic.Of course.
There was a cartoon and everything.
Sure, and of course, there's the Tale of Despereaux, which is a mouse, but not named Ben.
Yeah. Well, if we're gonna open it up, there's Mrs. Frisbee.
Yeah, you might be thinking rats of Nim.You might think rats of Nim is actually rats of Ben, but it's not.
Milk is not.It's a different word.
Easy mistake to make.Not Ben.
No.Mickey, way different than Ben.Very different.Two-syllable.Different letters, different sounds.Yeah.
Anyway, so Brown Jenkin could be a bad.
We don't know what his first name is.You bring up Ben 10.That is not a mouse again.That's a boy.
The funny thing is the original Ben was neither a mouse.It wasn't a mouse.It was a rat or a. or a bear.
What do you mean the original Ben?What?The beginning of recorded history?
The way this whole started out, we somehow migrated to mouse.We were like listing mice.I just think it's funny.Anyway, I'll keep this short and sweet.Good, because we didn't.Nope.My other favorite movie series is on cinema at the cinema.
One of the reoccurring gags is that it's obvious that Tim Heidecker's character rarely watches the movies they review.
I'm curious if there was ever a time in your podcast history where you believed one of your castmates hadn't actually watched or finished the movie y'all were discussing.
I mean, Stewart frequently doesn't finish the movies.
Well, do the credits count?There was that time where Dan fell asleep during the movie.
That was great.What one was that? I don't remember, but he was snoring and I was like, should we wake him up?No, this is funny.
I think there were more than one occasion.There was a Transformers movie and the RoboCop remake if I recall correctly.
Transformers are so long dude.And for every like two seconds of Anthony Hopkins getting blown up by a Decepticon or TJ, TJ Miller getting killed like off screen.
You've got to sit through a character explaining the laws about statutory rape so that it doesn't get arrested for having an underage girlfriend.Something that it's weird to have in a blockbuster science fiction action movie.
Yeah, that it was a weird part of that movie.That does happen.Yeah, it's not a joke.That's an actual part of the movie.
Which one was it?Was that... Or that plot point when those two little robots were like, yeah, we can't read.And I'm like... That's right.
Well, at least one of those times I think I was sick, so that mitigates a little bit.
You know, it's less fun to do the show this way than back when we could watch the movie all at the same time together.Like, that's the most fun way to obviously watch a bad movie.But I guess the one advantage is that should I fall asleep, I then
feel an obligation to go back and actually watch the movie rather than if we're all watching it together.We're just like, we're not going to go back and let Dan watch the rest of this movie.We're just going to barrel ahead.
And, and Dan will be surprised by, to learn what happened after he left Dreamland.I don't know why I'm talking about myself in the third person so much, but. Uh, I don't think I have other suspicions though about you guys.
No, not related to the podcast.Yeah.
Um, all right, well, moving on then this letter is from Jared who writes your peaches. What would Halle do?
Halle whispered Kushner, as if she was afraid saying his name out loud, he would appear in the room.
Summon him.Okay, well, we got two questions here.They're both short and sweet.Dear Peaches, do you think Slimer has a smell?I always assumed Ectoplasm was odorless, but surely all those hot dogs have some effect.
Yeah, they smell like hot dogs, right?If he's lucky.If he's lucky, he smells like hot dogs.
And his original name was Onion Head.So do you think he smells like onions because of that? Or do you think it was just... What?That was the name of the puppet was Onion Head.He wasn't named Slimer until like, what, the animated show?
Dan's pulling out all his first date information.
Well, I'm looking at Elliot for help and he's giving me none.You think that the man who's in charge of a Ghostbusters property would like know something about... I'm not the encyclopedia of Ghostbusters, Ed.
If it's, I know on-screen canon, I don't know behind-the-scenes nicknames, but I do assume that Slimer smells like John Belushi, since Slimer is somewhat based on the idea of John Belushi.
Oh, so you do know some trivia about Slimer.
The idea of John, based on the idea of John Belushi.
Based on the vibe.Okay, well, we can move on to the second question, which will hopefully prove less contentious.
No, well, I will go on the record saying, yes, I do think ghosts smell, but continue.
Also, why do old comics show someone wearing a barrel to signify they're broke?Wouldn't a barrel cost more than clothes?Sorry if these questions are too emotional for the show.Well, the first one actually.
I'm worried about this next one.
I mean, I assume that these are barrels, you know, from a time when barrels were used more frequently and these are discarded barrels.
That's what I was going to say.There was a time when it was a lot easier to get your hands on a on a waste barrel.
These aren't crate and barrel crate and barrel.No, no.Yeah.Those would be expensive.This is.Yeah.I mean, yeah.
People like barrel rights were like spread out across the ground.Like you couldn't throw a stone without hitting a barrel, right?
Yeah, yeah, exactly.And then and they'd be mad you were wearing one because that's a barrel wrong.That's not how you're supposed to use that barrel. But I think, yeah, it is from a time when things were shipped in wood more often than they are now.
Now, the suspenders you used to suspend that barrel over yourself, you have to pay for those.That's the problem.What do you use, like leather straps?
Leather, I think.It looks like leather.
Yeah.I mean, that's strong enough probably to hold up a barrel.If you use something that's too delicate, it's just going to snap and the barrel will fall down and everyone will see you.
Yeah, yeah. If it's elastic, though, you get to go like, woo, woo, when the barrel zooms up and down on you.
Or like, yeah, get Streganona to give you some of her fucking spaghetti.
To make the straps out of?
Well, spaghetti straps, Elliot.
Thank you, Dan.I forgot spaghetti strap dresses started with actual spaghetti.That's true, yeah.Back when Streganona chic was all the rage in Paris, yeah.
Okay, well, this has been a surprisingly angry letter section.
I don't know why we're so mad at each other.It's David who's done this to us.
Let's move on to recommendations.Movies that we watched recently that we might recommend.I'm going to, for the spooky season, I'm going to recommend a horror movie.I'm going to buckle your freak belt.
I'm going to specify that in this case, I'm recommending what I think was a good bad horror movie.This is not, you know, I'm not saying this is a quality film necessarily, but it was fun to watch.
I watched Flesh Eater from 1988, a movie that was written and directed and... Kind of Stars, the guy who was the original cemetery ghoul in Night of the Living Dead, the one that appears after he says they're coming to get you, Barbara.
And so he was like, hey, I can make a zombie movie too.And he also is in this zombie movie as, I guess, the same ghoul.Oh, cool. in the movie in a lot of ways.
Oh, okay.That makes sense.
The movie in a lot of ways feels like just a remake of. Night of the Living Dead, but sleazier, more unmotivated.
Sleazier than Night of the Living Dead, but as sleazy as Return of the Living Dead, or around that level?
There's more unmotivated nude scenes in this.There's more weirds.There's child death in this.This feels like a real low-budget programmer, but it's also really silly.
Like it's a, if you're looking for a movie that will have you sort of scratch your head and saying what at the screen every few minutes, you know, dial up Flesh Eater.You might enjoy it.
How do you watch this one?I saw Tubi.It's a treasure, Tubi treasure. Uh, to keep with the spooky theme, I'm going to recommend a terrifying little tale called his three daughters.
Ooh, no, it's about three daughters reconnecting while their father passes away in the next room.Oh, it's not spooky at all.It's very sad.Um, but it does star, uh, Carrie Coon, uh, Natasha Lyonne and Elizabeth Olsen.They're great.
All three of them are great.And it is feels like a very New York story.I love a kind of a single location movie where you really get a feel of the apartment that they're in.
and watching their, like learning about their relationship as it unfolds through dialogue.It feels very much like a play put on screen, but in a good way.I thought it was really charming and sad and great.And I liked watching those three actresses.
I thought we were going to continue with the Halloween spooky movies theme, but, you know, I'll return to it even though it seems like we're not doing that this time.That's right.I'm giving Stewart unnecessary criticism.There's no reason for it.
Because I'm wearing fucking glasses.
He loves it.Look at his face.
Yeah, yeah.I have an Elliot be mean to me kink.
So, uh, the, uh, do you like being dominated by a guy who's smaller than you?That's the thing.So, uh, I watched a movie recently.Is it a movie from the Czech Republic or at the time Czechoslovakia?Yes, of course it is.
Uh, but it's kind of like a fun Halloweeny type movie.It's called the girl on the broomstick.It's from 1972 and it's kind of like a Czechoslovak
version of the kinds of supernatural fantasy comedies that Disney would put out in the, like, 60s and early 70s.And this girl, Saxana, she is a, she's at a school for witches, and she has to, and she wants- She's at a school for witches.
She goes to the regular human world and has to figure out how to cast the spell that will make it so that she doesn't have to return to the witch world before she wants to.
And there's a lot of goofy stuff that happens and a lot of silly things with magic going awry.And just kind of like a short, fun, kind of like silly movie, very colorful and very light, but still has some of that Czech, edge to it, you know?
So I really enjoyed it a lot.It's just a fun movie to watch that has a Halloween-y feel, but it's not scary.And that if my kids would read subtitles, I would show it to them.But I think that they probably will not.
So that's The Girl on the Broomstick.
You should just get Bong Joon-ho to come over and explain to your kids why they should watch movies with subtitles.
Oh yeah, that's a good idea.
I'll just dial up Bong and get Bong and Ho to come over.
Maybe text.Yeah.Yeah, I don't know, you guys.I don't know.
Oh no, we sent her into a spiral.
I guess a movie I've been thinking about a lot recently is the original scenes from a marriage.Have you guys watched that?
I've actually never seen the Ingmar Bergman movie.I've never actually seen it.I've been meaning to for a long time.
It's very long, but it's really good.
It's a TV miniseries, right?Originally.
But I don't know.It was... like eight hours or something, so that makes more sense.
But it's- And you watched it all the way through.You didn't know how long it was, so you're like, I'll go to bed when this is over.
Suddenly the sun is up, your kids are like, mommy, we need to go to school.
No.Still watching.No, but one of the big... Themes that they revisit is the husband being disappointed with how he's turned out.
He always thought he'd be great and then he doesn't wind up being great and his wife is sick of hearing him complain about it.
So you're saying I would find myself represented in this movie.
I'm saying I've been thinking about it a lot. So.
Allie, maybe you should plug your newsletter.
Oh, sure.Check out my newsletter that hurts my feelings on Substack.
This household always rushes to read Allie's newsletter whenever it comes out.
It is the same thing here.When it shows up in my email inbox, I read it right away.I never let it sit.And it's always really good.Hilarious and also brutally honest.
Brutally, really got to start being careful about the, my audience in Eagle Rock is growing.So I've had a few texts that say, I feel famous when they've read my newsletter.So yeah, got to find some new content to hurt my feelings.
So give it to me guys, give it to me.
Driving to nearby cities and have your feelings hurt elsewhere.
I feel like you're going to go through the thing that a lot of like kind of memoir writers do where they write a memoir that's about their life and people love it.
And then the next book is about like, well, I traveled the country trying barbecue at all the national parks.They have to come up with some reason to be doing things.
Yeah.I'm going to be a real canals guard figure. That's how you pronounce that, right?
Not to be confused with Mouse Guard, the comic book about mice.None of them are named Ban.Yeah, yeah.
My Struggle by the Mouse Guard.
Well, that's another Shocktober for the books.As always, we're really happy.
The movies, too.We're always happy that Halle joined us.
Halle turned and smiled at me like, eh, you see what I did?
The energy always is great with Hallie here.
Thanks for having me, guys.I always love to be here.
Yay.What do I say at the end here?I say thank you to Maximum Fun.
Thanks to our network, Maximum Fun.Our network.Why not try some of the other Maximum Fun shows?There's a lot of great ones.Why not thank our producer, Alex Smith, who makes us sound good.I will thank him.Yeah, Dan, you should.
And remember, Dan, to tell people that they should check him out online as HowlDotty, the name under which he makes his music.Oh, I'll remember that. Uh, he has a new album out now, which is called, uh, I need some help.Right.
Dan, you should tell them about that.You might mention that, uh, another thing you should probably mention is that if people like this show, why not give us a review on wherever you listen to podcasts?That'd be a great thing to do.
A positive review would really help us spread the word about the show.
Or you know what?Like, Hey, tell one person in, in real life meet space that you think might, uh, enjoy this thing.Hey, I love this podcast.Maybe you'd like it as well.If everyone did that.
You know, I mean, only a small fraction of people would actually listen to that advice, but that's still a lot, so thank you if you do that.
If only 1% of all the people in the world listen to this show, that's still hundreds of millions of people, right?Or like tens of millions of people.That'd be astounding.Yeah.
It's a lot of pressure, I'd have to... I have to be a little funnier.
Yeah.We'd all have to step up our game.
You know what?Don't tell anybody about this show.
Uh, no, no.Do I rely on it anyway?Uh, this has been great for the flop house.I've been Dan McCoy.I've been Stuart Wellington.
I've been Elliot Kaelin saying, see you at the next episode of flop TV.
And I've been Hallie Haglund.
Okay.Bye.It's a ghost at the end.
Wait, you guys don't remember?1, 2, 3, 4, roll it up a little more.Sorry boys, it's coffee break.No.Is this about rolling up your shirt?Your shirt.
Why are you rolling your... I don't understand.
Yeah, it was like a... Yeah.
How far are you rolling this shirt?
Just right until the point, and then it's coffee break.
Maybe this is a Colorado thing.
Wait, this is a thing that people did to tease boys?
To tease the boys.Yeah, girls do it to tease boys.
You know, all the things are the same still.My five-year-old is now going, hey, mom, want me to count to 100?One, two, skip a few, 99, 100.And it's like, I can't believe these things are so timeless.How did they pass on?
And then she did a dab and then, like, wrote her Heelys out of the room.And you're like, oh, fuck.
Sign in
