So good, so good, so good.Perfect gifts?We've got them at Nordstrom Rack stores now.UGG, Nike, Barefoot Dreams, Kate Spade New York, and more.Find everything on their wish list all in one place.Steve Madden?
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Hi, this is Christopher Kimball from Milk Street Radio.I often shop at Whole Foods markets since they sell the kind of food I like.Organic vegetables, a great meat counter, and of course a great staff.
For Thanksgiving, Whole Foods offers brined turkeys as well as a spiral cut bone-in ham. The Whole Foods Market Bakery has a large assortment of pies, even a vegan pumpkin pie.Or grab some brioche and butterflake rolls for the table as well.
Or you can ask the Whole Foods team to cater your meal for you, including the bird, the sides, and desserts.Get your holiday party started at Whole Foods Market.
Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds.Recently, I asked Mint Mobile's legal team if big wireless companies are allowed to raise prices due to inflation.They said yes.
And then when I asked if raising prices technically violates those onerous two-year contracts, they said, what the f**k are you talking about, you insane Hollywood a**hole?
So to recap, we're cutting the price of Mint Unlimited from $30 a month to just $15 a month.Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch.
Welcome to the off-menu podcast, taking the pink sugar of friendship, pouring it into the candy floss machine of the internet, collecting the floss of humor onto the stick of great meals.
Man, how has it taken this long for us to do a candy floss, or you to do a candy floss?I'm not going to share the credit with this one.You do the intros.
I just want to reveal that when I started doing it, James's eyes lit up.
Even though I don't like candy floss, it reminds me... Which people will find weird.
People will find that weird and off-brand, but the feeling of being a kid, discovering what candy floss is, having not tasted it before but really wanting it, is one of the best feelings.
Yeah, I love the idea of candy floss.I do not eat candy floss.Something that pops up in my algorithm quite a lot is a family where the dad makes candy floss art.
I don't know where they are, in Southeast Asia somewhere, and he can make like whole flowers with different colored petals using different candy flosses.And his kids are getting good at it now as well, and I'm very proud of them.
That's a gamble.My name is James Acaster.Together we own a drinking restaurant and every single week we invite in a guest and ask them a favor.Guest?And ask them a favor ever.Start a main course, dessert, side dish and drink.Not in that order.
And this week our guest is... Jessica Hynes.
Jessica Hynes.Just... National treasure alert. Absolutely.Ring-a-ding-ding, National Treasure.
Amazing comedy actor, writer.I mean, obviously Ed and I, we grew up with Spaced.Sure did.Immediately.
We're slowly ticking off our Spaced register.We are slowly ticking off the Spaced register.
Jessica is in the franchise which is out now on Sky Comedy and now Yes, you gotta go watch it.What a cast.Himesh Patel, Loli Adafope who has obviously been on this podcast.Also, Richard E. Grant's popping up every now and again.
He was on this podcast as well.I'm just shouting out the people who've been on the pod.If you haven't been on the pod, I ain't shouting you out.Although Himesh hasn't been on the pod, but we should get him on the pod.We're aspirational here.
Yeah, Nish Bhullar. Please him, we've got to get him on the pod.Yeah, and just calls him Hollywood and points his finger millimetres from the bridge of his nose and says, Hollywood.And does that every time he sees him.
Sam Mendes is like, well, directed the first episode, it's like you've produced it as well.Armando Iannucci.Been on the pod. been on the pod.Um, like it's very exciting.Um, the trailer looks amazing.Can't wait to see it.We recorded this in the past.
So we've not seen full episodes yet, but we've seen the trailer.We're very excited and we are very excited to have Jessica Hines in the dream restaurant.
Love Jessica Hines.And, uh, I mean, There's so much to ask her about.And I imagine it'll all go out my head by the time we sit down.
But hopefully she will not go out of the dream restaurant if she picks a secret ingredient which we have pre-decided upon and was the only thing that we could think of and was the first idea and the one that we're going with.
Ben suggested it, we said yes. No, I think I came out of the toilet and I said I know what Jessica's secret ingredient should be and you said Heinz Baked Beans.And I said yes, that's what I was thinking of.
Very rare that Ed ever comes out of the toilet.Yeah, I record most of mine from inside the toilet.
Yeah, yeah, usually.So when he's got an idea, he'll come out of the toilet and announce it.At this time it was, the secret ingredient should be... Heinz Baked Beans!
Heinz Baked Beans, because Jessica's called Jessica Heinz.
Not spelt the same.No, different.But, you know... I hope she'll forgive us for going the easy route.
Yeah, I think she will.Looking forward to meeting her.You've met her, of course, before.
We were in a film called Seize Them.I say we were in a film called Seize Them.Hollywood.I was there for half a day to film my scene and Jessica was a proper part and it was brilliant.But, yeah, we had a lovely meal there, actually.
So, you know, I already know this lady can talk food.This is the off-menu menu of Jessica Hines.
Welcome, Jessica, to the dream restaurant.
Welcome, Jessica Hines, to the dream restaurant.Been expecting you for some time.
Yeah, that was a big one.
Yeah, yeah, I went for it.Do you appreciate how much I went for that?I appreciated it.I feel very welcome.I don't do that for everyone.
The clap felt like an expulsion of bad energy.It felt like, you know... That was Ben.Oh, that was Ben.The clap and the shout.It was like, boom, it's a new day.
Oh, so when you say expulsion of bad energy, you mean we're getting rid of it rather than we're putting out into the world.
Like snaps, you know, like, like kind of fireworks, you know, that's the origin of fireworks.Just get it all.Yes, that's what the Chinese New Year is about.That bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, getting rid of all the bad energy.
See, I'm just all just like, you know, just thinking everything that's just English.So I just think it's Guy Fawkes.Bless you for that.
James, do you know what?That's on brand.And I forgive you for that.I really do.
I mean, you thought fireworks were invented by the English.Because of Guy Fawkes.
I thought it was like... I thought they were meant to represent... Yeah, you wish you could have done this.You wish you could have blown up the Houses of Parliament, mate.
Look at this.I think that's what they then came to mean for us in England.
Yeah, they were appropriated, obviously, into the bonfire.Yeah.Sort of.
But they're invented by the Chinese.
I had no idea.This is the quickest I've learned something on the podcast.
See, this would be interesting.We need to find out more things that James assumes is English.
Oh, interesting.Food-based, perhaps, because that's what the podcast is.
Mustard, of course.English mustard, yeah.
Mustard seed, though, probably not English.
Mustard seed, probably not English.Come on, mate.The only thing that is English is potatoes, James, I think.You'll find, yeah, pretty much.
I think they were brought from somewhere else.
Yeah, actually, yes, you're right.Of course, not even potatoes.
I'm so sorry.My world's going upside down.
I'll tell you what. I would like to know, is this English the franchise?
Well, very interesting question.It's a combo of both English and American talent.
It's very exciting.The trailer's fantastic.Really funny.So many great stars in it.Yeah.Amazing team behind it.Got Sam Mendes, friend of the podcast, Amanda Iannucci as well.What can you tell us about the franchise?
It's set on the set of a franchise, so if you kind of think of any kind of Marvel universe, any superhero universe, it is set on a very similar set to that, except it's not.
But not based on any real people?
But no.It's called Maxim.So the studio is a Maxim studios and all the superhero characters are created, are fictionalised for the purposes of the comedy series.But the idea is that we're focusing on the people behind the scenes of the franchise.
It's ten past one. Now we all needed that to know that.That's good to know it's 10 past 1.
Was that telling you it's time to do PR?No.It's time to promote the franchise.
I can't remember why that alarm is there.It's just there and I haven't taken it off.And I haven't taken it off now so it'll probably go again tomorrow.Unless I remember to take it off.Sorry about that.
The old 10 past 1 alarm.The old 10 past 1.Alarms, did they originate in England?
No?No.Someone else came up with alarms as well.Interesting question.Do you mean the concept of alarms?Yeah, I mean, it had to be invented somewhere.
Well, I would say alarms probably came from the clock.And the clock, I don't think, came from England.I think the clock.And I do know I have a speculative question.
Do you think people were worried about the clock in the same way that they're worried about the internet?Do you think when people actually invented the concept of time, everyone was like, that's it, the game's up, the jig's up? It's over.
Like, can't you see what they're going to do?It's going to be like sectioning off time forever.And some people are like, no, no, don't worry about it.I've often thought that.
Yeah, there were people who probably thought we need to live in the moment, but not know how long a moment is.
Can't you see how they're going to appropriate the clock?Yeah, it's great.Wow.An invention.But what they're going to do with it is then they can kind of control us and segment our lives.
Yeah, and some people couldn't stop staring at the clock, maybe, all day long.Exactly.You've got to stop looking at that clock.
Becoming obsessed.It's like, you know, Gilead is obsessed with time now because of the clock.All he does is sit there and wait till it turns three o'clock.
Yeah, he loves three o'clock.It was ten past one.
Yeah, ten past one, exactly.
I've got to say, I'm a fan of the clock.Yeah?You are a fan?OK.Yeah, it makes things easier, doesn't it?
Sure, that's what they've... Obviously.I mean, how could you say anything else?
You've been brainwashed, like all of us.Yeah, I've been brainwashed, actually. you play in the franchise?
I play Steph Mundon, who is the script supervisor.And what I learned from playing Steph Mundon is that I could never, ever, ever be a script supervisor in real life.I do not, literally do not have the brain and the qualities and the skill.
It is the hardest job on set by far.It is so complicated and amazing what group supervisors do.I learned.I mean, I've always known they're kind of amazing.They're holding every single kind of fact.
about the camera lens, the angle, the shot, the continuity.But, like, when I really kind of started to shadow script supervisors on set, I realized this is so hard.It is such a hard job.
So, I just was pretending, obviously, having gleaned as much of an idea of what the job entails.
But without having to go too deep into it.
Well, I went as deep as this tiny little pea brain could go.I grasped as much of the technical skill as I could and sort of learnt how to pretend, you know, sort of tippity-tap-tap.
But it is such a complex job and predominantly a job that mostly women do, which is a very interesting fact.
And when you say you were shadowing, so as it was being filmed, you're following the actual script supervisor around?
At the corner of my eye, just looking at them on their pads, looking at what they're doing, sometimes trying not to be annoying, but kind of saying, what are you actually saying?
what are you, you, and you know, and then them very patiently and kindly sometimes giving me time, and then in other occasions kind of going, I just need to, sorry, I'm actually, I am actually working.I'm like, fine, absolutely fine.
But that's great, because then you can take that into your part of being like, sometimes you're just working, and then someone else will answer your question.
Oh yeah, I mean, you have to be so super focused to be keeping track of everything.Obviously now, it's, you know, computerised now, so a lot of the information, but then you need to know how to do the tippity-tap-tap.
You need to know how to get into the main thing.I did something once and the script supervisor had their dog on set for the whole thing.
The thing is, when you're a good script supervisor, you can bring your donkey on set and people will be like, that's fine, because you just got to do what you got to do.People respect script supervisors.
Do you watch a lot of franchise stuff?Do you watch Marvel and films like that?
done.I really enjoy it.Yeah.I mean, I like, I think the one I sort of, I really love the Thor iteration that Taika Waititi, you know, the comedy versions, I feel like he, his, his are my kind of favourite, I think.But yeah, I do when it comes up.
And I think when my kids were younger, I watched it more because I watched it with them.But yeah.
Have you ever auditioned for a Marvel film and not known that you're auditioning for it because they give you some face?
No, I kind of did do a little bit of an audition, yeah, maybe for something in Wonder Woman that I didn't get.
Does this show sort of undercut the cinematic universes of comic books?Is it satirical about them to the extent that you're worried that you're not going to be able to break your way into superhero films after that?
I'm not worried about anything.I'm just glad to be working.I really don't think that far ahead.I'm trying to be very much in the moment, Ed.
Yes, yeah, yeah.Sorry, I'm a clock guy.
No, because it's not really necessarily about, I mean, it's much more about actually the kind of huge behemoth that is massive, massive, massive expensive filmmaking.That really is the subject.
So it's a workplace comedy set in the world of massively expensive filmmaking.
Now, are you a foodie?Before we get into your menu, are you a fan of food?
Well, of course.I mean, how can you not be?Is anyone not?
Yeah, we've had a few non-foodies on who are just like, I just fuel, I don't care, I don't think about it.
God, I would love to be that person.I would love to be just a fuel person.What do they say when they say, just fuel?What does that mean? What is that like?
I've got no idea.I mean, it seems to me like a completely joyless life.
Maybe they get joy from other things, not just stuff in their gob.
But I don't know, because if you're not getting joy from that, what are you getting joy from?
Okay, there's lots of other things you could get joy from.
Name one!I don't know, not that I know of.
Food and the clock, that's all I've got.I think you've got to enjoy the things that you just have to do anyway.
Yeah.You have to sleep, you have to eat, you have to go to the toilet.
Yeah, correct.So, you're so profound.I wasn't expecting that.I thought this was more of a jokey, light-hearted.
Sometimes, but it depends, you know.Make you think.James is taking it down a philosophical route today.I love it.
The guy loves going to the toilet.Yeah, I love philosophy.Invented by the English.
We always start with still or sparkling water?
Sparkling.If I'm out, I mean, it's a treat.Yeah.Yeah.
Sparkling at home too, sometimes.With a bit of lemon in it.How about that?How do you like that?
I love that.You're slicing the lemon at home?
Yeah, I'm slicing lemon at home.Lemon is massive at home.Lemon is big.Lemons are in trouble.I've got a lot of the lemons running scared because I'm using a lot of lemons in everything.
Take us through the daily lemon rota.
Well, there's lemons in a bit of water, there's lemons in recipes, there's lemons in tea.There's a lot of lemons.
They think they're safe when they see the kettle boiling.
You're going in that as well?
I started today with a celery and lemon juice. James is in films now.
Like a character in the franchise.
Can I just say just celery and lemon?
It was, yeah.That's hardcore.That must have tasted, if you don't mind me saying, horrible. It was delicious, I loved it.
It was the second time I've had it this week.I saw it the other day, and was just like, that could be horrible, but I'm going to try it, see what it's like.Absolutely loved it.
One of those things where I already know on the way home, I'm going to tell my girlfriend how nice this is when I get through the door, and it will absolutely ruin her day.It's going to be so boring.But you know, I can't wait to tell her.
Oh, excuse me?Yeah.This is delicious!It's celery and lemon!Okay, yeah, great. And then today, I knew that the place that sells it was en route to the studio, and I couldn't wait.
As soon as I woke up this morning... Actually, do you know what, Jessica?I thought of it as I was falling asleep.I thought, I want to get the celery and lemon.I'm going to get that tomorrow.And then I was so looking forward to it.
So, you know, lemons are in trouble in my house.
watch out so you bought this you didn't make this no boy i'm not making juice what am i a chef you know what else are you gonna spend six pounds on apart from a glass of celery and lemon yeah a little shot money well spent in my book do you want to shout out where it's from do you know what i knew this would happen i got it this morning i was walking away i was thinking this is so delicious i'm going to mention it on the podcast
And then I realized, I don't know the name of the place.And I looked back and I couldn't see the sign anymore.And I was like, hopefully I won't get asked.Now the worst has happened.This is my biggest fear.I've been worried about it all day.
It's 20 past one now.I know that because my alarms went off. But you know, we've been worried since like 8 in the morning when I got that celery and lemon juice.
I'm just asking, do you ever eat things that aren't appropriate for breakfast?
I'm just asking you that.
Yeah.Sometimes it's what you want.
I think anything can be a breakfast if you put a fried egg on it.
Okay, good.Do you have to put a fried egg on it though?
That makes it feel more breakfasty to me.Right.I don't think you have to.No.But, like, certainly, like, leftover curry in the morning.Yes, it's absolutely delicious.You put a fried egg on the curry?I could put a fried egg on the curry.That's great.
Definitely.That's changed my life.Yeah.Especially, like, I think fried eggs go very well on, like, Thai leftovers or something like that.
Little fried egg on the top.Delicious.I love that.
Yeah, I mean, I definitely, I think the other day I was on holiday.
But I still was like, and I actually got this because Ed told me to, but I was in Tokyo and there was a, I was in a 7-Eleven and there's just a bar that is just an ice cream bar that's like covered in like wafer. And it's pretty big as well.
This is my breakfast.And I just bit into it and it's a waffle on the outside, ice cream and bits of chocolate in the middle.It's like the end of a Cornetto, but over and over again.I got it for my breakfast, Jessica.So that is definitely for me.
Because we had a bit of a thing on Sunday.So we had some people, we had a kind of things and I made a really, really nice curry and a very big apple crumble.There was a little bit, a little bit, you know, interesting because I didn't
put the apple crumble in the oven as long as I thought I had.So when it came out, the apples and pears, it was an apple and pear crumble, they weren't that mushy, they were quite crispy.
Because I'd put quite a bit of cinnamon in and actually the crumble was just like whizzed up oats with a bit of coconut oil and a bit of brown sugar and a bit of cinnamon, there was something very nice about it not being mushy.
So I got so that's been a little bit and there was some left over so that's been a bit of a feature That's been having that a bit for breakfast.
Well, that's almost good.Oh, it's almost granola, but it's cinnamon Cinnamon breakfast I'm right.
Yes, of course, of course brown sugar It's a treat.
Would you put a bit of yoghurt with it and then it's definitely breakfast time.
Sure, I'd put some yoghurt in.Are we all letting yoghurt slide?We're yes anding it actually.
There's a great shop which is an amazing shop where I live called Everest Cash and Carry which is run by the local Nepalese community in Folkestone and they have an amazing yoghurt. there called Creamy Hole, which is, which is a sort of live yoghurt.
And you can't get it, you don't get it anywhere else.I'm not sure what country it comes from, but it comes from a big pot and it is live and it is delicious.
How live are we talking?It's as alive as you would ever need it.I'm saying, you know, if you want it any more alive than that, I wouldn't know where you'd go.
No, that was so scary, man.If the yoghurt was really alive, that'd be so scary.
Actually, I'm going to put my question on hold and just hear Ed talk about that for a bit more.What would scare you about that?
Well, if you opened it up and the yoghurt was having a chat.
Chatting to itself.Yeah.Or like a little man-shaped yoghurt beast came out the top of it.
That's an advert.You're just basically pitching an advert.
It's Lurpap Man, but with yoghurt.
Yeah, yeah.He came out.With a trombone?With a trombone, saying, hello, I'm Creamy Hull.
I mean, my question was going to be, did you get Creamy Hole recommended to you?
No, I just saw it on the shelf.
And you thought, I'm going to get that.
Everything.Everything about it screamed, buy me, buy me, buy me.And I've never regretted buying it.It's delicious.And it's just lovely yoghurt.
Yeah, well, it's a good recommend for everyone.
And obviously the hole is H-O double it.
Sure, but you know.Yeah. I mean, I still imagine that's affected sales.I don't think it has.You promoting it on this podcast is going to help go some way to getting rid of the hurdle that they must have to overcome every single day.
No, I thought you meant it increased sales.
Are you kidding me?No one's buying Creamy Holman.
They're taking pictures of it, at least.
Maybe not a ton here, but this is an international yoghurt.Sure.You know, something you might not know much about.
I'm telling you, it's selling.Don't you worry about that.
POP LOBS OR BREAD!POP LOBS OR BREAD, JESSICA HINES!POP LOBS OR BREAD!
I do not understand what you just said.
POP LOBS OR BREAD, JESSICA HINES!
Okay, this is what I heard, James Acaster.Okay, so you need to slow down.You need to quieten down.You need to say it again in a calm, inside voice, please.
Thank you for doing this.Finally, someone's done this.
Could you please say it in a calm, inside voice, and then I will respond.
We're having a lovely discussion about Creamy Hull, and you've shouted over the top of it.
I heard OR BREAD.What I did not hear was that. at the beginning.Okay, so start again.Take a breath and start again, please.
Would you like poppadoms or bread, Jessica?
Okay, now we're talking poppadoms.Thank you, poppadoms.Always poppadoms, thank you.
Yes, he loves poppadoms.Always poppadoms.I'm glad you got him to repeat it, because he didn't even hear it the first time.
I had no idea what he said.
Imagine when we have American guests on.How much of a difficulty they have with that bit.Doesn't go well.
Do they?I say, hey, come on, I'm sure some Americans love it.
They don't understand him a lot of the time, and they have to look to me for the translation, essentially.
And then the rest of the episode, they're looking at Ed.I'm just sitting there.I'll say stuff, but they'll just be looking at Ed.
Is that where you do it?Is it your way of clocking off?
It's fun, yeah.I don't have to do anything after that. Would you want the dips with the poppadoms?It's always there somewhere.
Always the dips with the poppadoms.Always the dips with the poppadoms.Always them.And then literally like treating the poppadom like it's a pizza.
Like it's a pizza, everything on all at once, then trying to kind of get it, like crunch it without it all falling apart.And then scooping up the onion and all the whatever, even though it's too hot.Yeah, that's definitely.
When you say treating it like a pizza, are you doing like a base of one topping?
Yeah, I'm just scattering it on there, you know, just because obviously at that point you're so hungry.
You've ordered whatever deliciousness you've ordered and you want it and you're hungry, but like the popdoms come and it's like you fall on the popdoms, as if you hadn't eaten them.
for days and you're kind of cramming, I mean, anyway, this is just me.And you're kind of cramming it in your mouth as if you're not expecting another amount of food that will put you into a coma.That is me in an Indian restaurant.
Well, they're so delicious.
How can they be that delicious?It's insane.
English, right?Poppadoms English.
You have just reminded me actually of why I wanted to put this section in the podcast to begin with in 2018 because of how much I love poppadoms. Tell us about the first time you ever had a poppadom, please.
Can you tell us about that?
With you, it's like always surprisingly late.No, it wasn't late.It wasn't late.
Was it in an Indian restaurant or was it a takeaway?It was in an Indian restaurant.
Yeah, we didn't get takeaways very much.My mum would cook and then very occasionally we'd go out for a meal.Actually, maybe it was late.I don't know.
But it would have been at the Raj or the Royal Bengal in Ketring, which are like two doors down from each other.Are they rivals?
Yeah, but they're the two main curry houses, and I don't know what the building in between them is, but it must be tents in that building, because they are both fine for all of Ketring's, like, you know, business, curry-wise, and they're both excellent.
You should open a curry house in the building in between.I should do, actually.Yeah.Acaster's curry.Yeah.Acaster's English curries.And I can just sell, I guess, popdums and curry with eggs on it.That's my idea.
Finally, someone's going there.
Good.But they're both great places.I love going to them equally.Although the Raj are the one that gives me freebies because I'm famous.
Thank you very much.Yeah.Well done, man. Your dream starter?
Well, I'm just going to preface this by saying that this is sort of what I'm craving at the moment because I'm getting over this flu that everyone's had.So I've been kind of like really craving healthy food.
So you could ask me this dream menu at another time and it would be different.So this is very much what I'm craving at the moment.
You want nutrients, you want things to build up your immune system.
Yeah, so my starter, and this isn't as simple as you might think, but it's lentil soup.Because I was in Budapest filming last year, and there was a Syrian restaurant opposite my hotel, and they did the most delicious lentil soup I've ever had.
And I was like, I have to now.And I was eating it all the time.It was so good.And I was like, right, I really have to work out how to make the most delicious lentil soup.Lentil soup, I go, I want to eat my own lentil soup.
So that's basically when I came home, I sort of tried to.And the answer, of course, as you would imagine, is lemon.It's lemon.It's lemon, guys.It's bloody lemon.
As soon as you came home, those lemons would be like, she's home.
You slam a new recipe on the side.
Lemon, cumin, garam masala, maybe a little bit of ginger, you might want to scrape in there, maybe a bit of garlic.
You want to put the lentils in with the lemon and all the seasoning, and then put the water in, and then you've basically got the most delicious soup that you just never want to stop eating.It's so delicious.
And how do you think you figured out the recipe?Did you ask them?
No, I didn't ask them.You just came back and you figured it out? Well, I just kind of looked up different like lentil recipes.I mean, it's weird.I just sort of sort of weirdly figured it out all the way up.
I mean, I obviously went on the, you know, I went onto the mainframe.I went on, I went, you know, I went in on the internet and, um, and, uh, and, you know, I did some research, but yeah.
And then, but then, and then I kind of like experimented a bit, but yeah, that is just like, whenever I go like anywhere that does lentil soup,
I'm always like, I want to try different people's lentil soup, because it varies, obviously, from place to place.This was so delicious.
This is something you've always loved then?You've always loved lentil soup?No.This lentil soup changed your mind on lentil soup?
This lentil soup changed my mind on lentil soup, and I realised that the lentil soup I might have been having before, it wasn't the good kind, it wasn't the best kind, and having then eaten this lentil soup, and this restaurant had another thing called pho, which is like fava beans and tahini,
and lemons again, and it was that flavour combo.I was like, this is all I want.It's just like that lovely, sharp, lemony, tahini-y, spicy, just deliciousness.
So, yeah.So you're in that phase at the minute, your lentil soup phase.
Yeah, I'm just loving lentil soup right now.
Are people close to you, have they noticed this and pointed it out?Oh, yeah, they love it.
Because I guess you're making big batches, right, as well?
Sometimes I'm making big batches, sure.
I just think with something like lentil soup, you're not going to make one portion, are you?
I've tried to make a smaller portion, but then it's just never enough.So I try not to over-make, which is sometimes difficult when you don't know who's going to eat it.
How much lentil soup is in your freezer at the minute?
Actually, none.There's no lentil soup in my freezer right now.
How many lemons are in your house right now?
Not for long, Ed!You better watch out!They're at home listening to this.
Absolutely terrified.Quaking in their boots.
Quaking in their lemon boots!
Who in your, who do you, out of all the people that you know, loves the lentil soup the most?Who's been like, you're gonna make this every time I see you, this is so good.
I think my daughter, my daughter, I've got one child who still lives at home and my daughter, she loves my lentil soup.And then Adam, my husband, loves my lentil soup.And then, you know, everyone who comes in loves my lentil soup.
Everybody loves my lentil soup, what can I say?I'm not gonna lie about it.Everybody bloody loves it.That's why I make it.
I like this voice, I like this character.Good character, makes the lentil soup.The character is trying to be humble, but has to be realistic about how much everyone loves their lentil soup.
That's a good catchphrase for the character.Yeah, just being honest.
Just being honest.But I did have, like, when I was ordering it in this restaurant when I was in Budapest, I did used to have, like, sides.
If I was feeling a bit more hungry, I'd have it in soup, and then I would order their, like, Syrian baba ghanoush, which, and that was a whole other level, because it was a bit chunky.
It wasn't creamy baba ghanoush, it was, like, a little bit chunky with a bit of tomato. Do you know what I mean?
Love it.That's the dip that I could just eat the most of on its own.
Like if someone said, you've got to eat a dip for ages.That's a good question.
That is a really good question.Can you go into dips?
I would like a baba ganoush, please.I could do a tub of that.
I would eat it with a spoon.And I was eating it with a spoon.Because I was working.I was eating the spoon of lentil soup, spoon of baba ganoush, all on my own.So happy.
Heaven.I've just been in grace. and eaten a lot of tarah mass.The musical.It plays Kinnicky.Yeah.
Oh, tarah.A lot of tarah.A lot of tarah.
But probably different tarah to the ones we get quite pinky, maybe not white.
Yeah, proper white tarah.
Posh tarah, good tarah, real tarah.Yeah, really good. Come on!
It's good stuff, but I could eat that with a spoon even though it's got a real strong pungent taste to it.
So what else?You're having taro in Greece, what other drinks?
There was a fava bean one actually that they were doing quite a lot, which I think might be a specifically sort of Santorinian thing.
Oh they love fava beans in Santorini.Oh yeah?Sure, anyone like that?
Yeah, they're as scared as the lemons in Jessica's house. Those are the two main dips, I'd say.There are a few others, but it just had a lot of grilled fish, a lot of grilled veg.
Is baba ghanoush your dip if you had to eat one dip, massive, like a meal-sized portion of one dip?
Could you eat it like a yog?
I could, but you know, it would have to be homemade hummus.I'm sorry, so boring.So boring.But like, listen, when you do, I mean, when we make, you know, when I make hummus, I do soak the chickpeas.So I soak them.
In some cases, I've even peeled them when I've wanted just just for kicks.
So you have to, you know, after you've boiled them and all the skin gets loose on them and then you just sort of like spend ages just like, sort of, because the skin sort of falls off them and then you've got this kind of like crackly load of sort of chickpea skin and you just sort of pull it off and pull it off and then it kind of becomes so creamy.
So yeah, I do like hummus.Homemade hummus.So good.
You ought to open a cafe.Yeah.
I am opening a cafe.In fact, I just literally, like, just right now decided to do it.Literally at this point.
Yeah, dips and soups.Dips and soups.Let's call it dips and soups.
Dips and soups, yeah.Soups and dips, actually.
But you know, fair enough, fair enough. Hi, this is Christopher Kimball from Milk Street Radio.I often shop at Whole Foods markets since they sell the kind of food I like.Organic vegetables, a great meat counter, and of course a great staff.
For Thanksgiving, Whole Foods offers brined turkeys as well as a spiral cut bone-in ham. The Whole Foods Market Bakery has a large assortment of pies, even a vegan pumpkin pie.Or grab some brioche and butterflake rolls for the table as well.
Or you can ask the Whole Foods team to cater your meal for you, including the bird, the sides, and desserts.Get your holiday party started at Whole Foods Market.
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You eating this with a spoon?
You could eat, probably eat it with a spoon, but you might want a fork.Because there's something that I, we discovered, we did a lot of tempura during lockdown.This was a thing that we did.
And so this main course is a sort of combo of things, but one of the, I mean, maybe I suppose I could call it a side, but it's on the main plate, but it could also be a side.
But when we were in lockdown, I had a card that let me go to shop in the cash and carry. which I was registered for VAT.I didn't think there was a problem with it.I don't know, just maybe I'm not running Soups and Dips yet.
Maybe I'm just in the kind of R&D stage.But still, I had a Cash & Carry card.So those were the only circumstances which my husband would let me panic buy, because obviously, Cash & Carry, that's the point of Cash & Carry, it's all panic buying.
You know, it's tins and tins and tins of everything, and they have big lots of everything.So it's kind of amazing.
I've never been in one, but it's my dream to go.
Oh my God, I can't believe that.It is so fun.It's so fun.So one of the things they had there was huge tubs of artichokes.So artichokes, big, solid, lovely artichokes.So you would buy it, and it would seem like an expensive buy.
It would be quite a lot of your bill, because obviously artichokes are expensive.But when you kind of worked out how much you were paying for one tub of artichoke, for literally three little slices, it worked out a bargain.
So we had quite a lot of artichokes knocking about in the house. during lockdown.And tempura was kind of on the menu.And then I was like, artichoke tempura.Let's go there.Let's go there.And it was out of this world.
Artichoke tempura.Why wouldn't, why wouldn't you?
Because it's like the way an artichoke is, there's layers.And so the surface area, the way it is, the way an artichoke is.
The way she is.So there's layers, exactly.So when you kind of cook it like that, it kind of holds its shape, obviously, because they were really good, proper.They were kind of imbraned, so they weren't too slimy and squidgy.
They still had a little bit of crunch.They were good, kind of cured artichokes, if you like.And they work brilliantly tempura.So that would be a feature in my main course.
How big was the tub of artichokes?
I think we'd all like to know.Okay, let me just try to think about it.How could I describe it in this context?Bucket?I was going to say bucket, but that would be too big.So not a bucket.
Not a bucket.Like a small bucket. A small, a kind of a lot, a very, very large jar.So like, if you imagine the largest jar, like an unreasonably large jar that you would never find in any shop.
It depends on the Vars.I mean, small Vars.
So I think a few people might be listening to this and thinking that they've got a very different definition of panic buying than you have.Right.Because you panic bought a tub of art.
We all remember that part of lockdown.
Yeah, where everyone went mad and bought up all the artichokes My husband was Extremely like like strict so we would go we would like about not panic buying.
Yeah, it's like absolutely So he was almost so worried about it that we would go shopping and I would put two bags of muesli and he would say put that back I was like, I think it's normal to buy two bags of muesli, but he wouldn't allow it.
Even outside of a pandemic?
I would buy two bags of muesli, but it was not allowed.
You're having muesli every morning.You don't want to buy muesli every single week.Buy two bags.That makes sense.Regardless of the global health situation.
If it wasn't for your, uh, wimp husband, how, how much, uh, you caught him it?
We edited it out. I did not call him that.He was a good citizen, better than me.Square?No, good citizen.
So if it wasn't for your good citizen of a husband.Yeah, thank you.How much do you think you would have bought of stuff?Do you think you would have panic bought?We don't want to go there.Would you have gone?
No, I would have.I mean, although in some cases, when things eased, I did then buy... Okay, we're still eating brown rice. and in fact chickpeas and in fact lentils.
Do you buy the big sacks of rice?
Oh yeah, it came in boxes.So yeah, so yes.And I had to buy buckets so it didn't go off.But I felt like that was okay because it's not like I'm going to the shops and then clearing.I was buying it from somewhere that wanted to sell me lentils in bulk.
Does that count as panic buying?Not really.
if you're still having it it's not like no yeah i guess everyone who's walking around cash and carry is probably not panicking but i will tell you this when it all arrives
When it all arrived the first time, my husband was like, what is this?I said, I've bought some things in bulk from a wholesaler, stuff that I think that would be useful.And he sat down, he said, I've done the calculations.
If we eat this foodstuff for every meal, we will still be eating it in seven years.He said, you are going to have to send half of this back. So I did.I did.
I sent half of it back because it was just completely... Well, they probably thought you were like a survivalist or something.Exactly.And to a certain extent, in that moment, I felt like that's maybe what it was.
But anyway, so I did have to send half of it back.Luckily, I've learned how to make lentil soup, so... Yeah, that explains your starter.
That explains why lentil soup is... Guess what, guys?
You're peeling chickpeas and making your own hummus.
Yeah, so far every single dish has been things that you've panicked about during the pandemic.Toilet paper for dessert.
one thing we didn't panic about.No, that was not, I never understood that.Never understood that.
So is it just the tempura, artichoke tempura?
And then, lovely, there's a thing that I started making, which is like really, really, really nice.Finely, finely, finely, finely chopped salad, like, but with like greens.
So you like, you know, when you really, when you know kale is quite a, it's a bit of a contentious vegetable.People are like, it's for donkeys, you know.I've never heard that by the way.Have you?No.I think that's maybe what,
Second time you brought up donkeys in the episode as well.
Yeah, second time.I do love a donkey.But yeah, so it's like really, really finely chopped.So, but you like literally almost so they're like, you're kind of turning it into.
I don't know, something, yeah, so it's not leafy at all, so you really really finely chop it and finely chop it with like other kind of fresh vegetables and there's lots of lemon in it and it's just like a really nice chunky, maybe walnuts.
Oh yes!Are you with me on that mate?So with you.Had a little walnuts other today.Did you?Yeah, yeah, for our lunch in there.
because you want that little bit of crunch and maybe the walnuts, maybe they've been baked, maybe they've just been put in a pan for a bit, just put a little bit toasty, put a bit of heat on them, just bringing out that oil, that lovely, and then finely chop that and mix that up and then put that with a little bit of whatever you want really, mushrooms, finely chop some mushrooms in there.
A bit of lemon, maybe a little bit of tamari or a little bit of soy sauce on there as well, just to give it a bit of depth.A bit of umami.There she is.There she is.Glad you brought her up.Yeah.
And then and then on with that, like maybe a bit of abalone, maybe a bit of hummus.
Yeah.You need to get rid of that hummus.
I've got to get the chickpeas in there somewhere.
You want some brown rice on the side?
I actually have a really like way of making like if you brown rice, obviously brown rice, that's just brown rice.But like I like to chop up sweet red onions and then fry them quite a lot.
Again, a bit of tamari, a bit of umami, maybe a bit of soy sauce, whatever you like.A bit of white miso.
Stir that in and then put that in with the brown rice and just like give that a big stir and then that as a dish is just delicious.
It's delicious.It's very good.
It does.It is good.It is good.In my head I just keep going round, I just keep nearly laughing because I'm imagining someone going, do you want some kale?No, wait, that's for donkeys.That's for donkeys.
I know people say it's for donkeys.The visual would be cut to just a very silent donkey just chewing hard down a kale stalk.I actually do chop the stalks out of kales.I do.
And in that situation, if I'm trying to make a finely chopped lovely raw salad, I will take the stalks.
You don't want the stalks in there.
Listen, if you want to eat the stalks, good.
You could chop them up and put them in a pasta, because if you don't know what to do with the stalks, because you're using all of the leaves, you could chop them up, have them in some pasta with some chorizo maybe off the top of my head or something like that.
I actually did, somebody did say about parsley stalks, a good, if you're making a little tomato-y sauce, you might bang that in there.A handful of parsley stalks, bam.
Pesto, you could whizz them up into a little pesto situation.
Do you know what?I love a bit of pesto.Do you ever make pesto with, again, walnuts?Do you ever make pesto with walnuts and parsley and oil and garlic?
I can't say I've ever had.
You know what?You don't need pine nuts.We're so fixated, ah, pesto, it's got to be pine nuts.No, no, no, no, no.
Obsessed.I mean, pine nuts are lovely.They are like the absolute jewel of nuts.
I've never finished a bag.
They're too oily, aren't they?I mean, you can't scoff pine nuts, can you?
No, you can't scoff them.Like macadamia nuts.Use them for a dish.Am I invisible?
Sorry, did you say something?
Who are you?Toast them, put them in a salad, but then they're going in the cupboard and I'm not touching them again.
Yeah.Is that because you're conditioned to treat them like they're special?
Well, they're the jewel of the nut.
I mean, obviously they're very costly compared to other nuts as well.Yeah.Sorry, what were you saying?I've scoffed them!What, a whole bag of pine nuts?
Yeah, I used to walk around Before I lived in London, but I would come to London for gigs and I'd just have to kill like 12 hours a day because I'd stay around somebody's house.So many of your stories start like this, but with different foods.
I'm so upset and angry about that one.
Yeah, it was a bad bit.Two years of this shit.With two years of staying around people's houses and then like, I've got to go to work, you've got to get out.I was like, my open mic gig doesn't start until late.
So you just used to go and buy yourself a little bag of pine nuts and go and eat them in the park?
Yeah, or you take them from your friend's cupboard.No, I wouldn't take them from the cupboard, no, no, no. No, you don't.
You never take anyone's pine nuts.
I get them from the shop or something and just walk around wolfing them around London.
Just look at free art.They don't seem like an eating nut to me, like a snacky nut.
So I'm in the right here.
Listen, let's not put a value judgment on it.It's right or wrong for eating.I mean, you know, James isn't wrong for scarfing pine nuts, just willy-nilly.He's not wrong for it, he's just sharing his truth.
Also, I worry about pine mouth.Yeah, yeah, pine mouth is a thing.
Do you know about pine mouth?No.Ed Easton got it. I only found out about it on this podcast many years ago when we just started.
If you have a bad pine nut, it coats your mouth with the bad oil and then it changes the way you taste everything for ages.
Are you actually kidding me? The hell.
Ed Easton was in the room below us when it came up on the podcast.I went and I dragged him up.It was Drew and Ivo Graham's episode, if you want to go back and listen to it.
And then Ed Easton came in and he very bravely shared his story of getting pine mouth.
So I'm actually scared of pine nuts because of that, especially ones that have been in the cupboard for a while.
Wow.Yeah.No, I mean, I can see that.
Because I can't be walking around and everything tastes bad.No.Because then I've got nothing left.
No, exactly.God, I did not know that about pine nuts.Are there any other nuts that are like that? Not that I know of.
I think all the other nuts are safe.They're not going to coat your mouth and mess your day up.Pine nuts, watch out.
Be careful.Is there anything to look out for?I mean, do they look different from the other nuts?So, for example, would you be more likely to do it if you were just wandering around a park just literally pouring the packet into your mouth?
Dream side dish would probably be fried halloumi just comes off the top of my head.Halloumi to introduce myself.
Let it come off the top of your head.
Halloumi to introduce myself.
I've heard a lot of halloumi puns, I've never heard that one.
Because hello me, I hear quite a lot.
There are certain things, some words that people hear and you just can't help but, so obviously when you hear Halloumi you can't help but hear in your head.
Yeah, Halloumi to introduce myself.
Someone told me the other day that they can't look at Alien Broadway without thinking about feeling horny.
And unfortunately, because of the way podcasts work, there will be a large amount of people listening to this now who then will have the same thing.
Yeah, that will happen.That will stick in.It will just go in there.
Yeah, with both Halloumi to Introduce Myself and The Feeling Horny.
Halloumi is something that I think that's why I could never not
I could never not eat fried tulumi when it's really delicious and juicy and crispy on the outside and it's got a little bit of whatever dip, but obviously essentially it would be the sweet chili sauce.That would be the main thing that you'd want.
I mean, I think so, right?
We've been very anti-sweet chili sauce on this podcast.
Yeah, I'm still anti-sweet chili sauce.
Wow.Okay, let's go there because I need to catch up.
Because that's how they served it at Nando's as well, with sweet chili sauce.
Okay, and you don't like that?
No, I don't touch it.I just love the halloumi.
I can just go straight, just straight halloumi.Yeah, but why?Sweet chili sauce, you may as well have a tub of jam.I think it's too sweet.Wow.I feel like there's almost nothing chili in it.It's just pure sweetness. kind of feel the same way.
But halloumi, to introduce myself.
What would you have with that?What would you prefer as a dip?
I'd go normal, just straight halloumi.If I'm having Nando's, I can do like a hot sauce with it maybe, but I could just eat the fried halloumi.
So here's the situation, Kate, just
For example, just hypothetically, there's a lovely big plate of fried halloumi, the perfectly crispy little ones that are a little bit joined, the cheeky ones that you'll go for, it's a little bit bigger, delicious, fresh, still a bit squidgy, glistening, they're glistening.
There's a lovely big tub of sweet chili sauce in the middle.You're telling me...
You're telling me, you're going to go up to that plate of halloumi, you're going to pick up a piece of that sweet, juicy, salty cheese, and you're not going to dip it in the chilli sauce.
You're not going near it.
What planet are you from?What is going on there?Why?
I just don't like sweet chilli sauce.I think it takes away from the flavour.
Talk us through it.When did this happen?
Well, when did sweet chili sauce first become big?Probably the 90s?Yes.Yeah.So it's probably back in the 90s.Yes.A lot of kids were really into it.
And it just wasn't my, it wasn't my scene.I thought I'm a bit more grown up than this, you know?
Okay.Is it because it was sweet?Did something happen?
Well, it's just like, to me, like having melted down Haribos and sweeties aren't my thing.
I'm not into sweeties.I don't have any sweeties.
You are, because you like sweet chili sauce.
Oh.Halloumi to apologize on his behalf. You should not have said that.You're a guest on this podcast.
So when did you stop liking sweet things?
Oh, so I'm type 1 diabetic.
I don't, but I don't think it has anything to do with that.I like sweet things.I eat desserts.I enjoy sweet, but I don't like pure sugar sweet things.I don't know if that's connected to my type 1 diagnosis, but also I just think it's a shame.
I like spice and I feel like the sweetness in the sweet chili sauce is outweighs the spice too much.
Do you think it's a bit patronizing to the chilli?
I think it's patronizing to the chilli.I think that people eat it, they're like, oh, I'm having chilli.You're not.
You think that's what people are thinking?
You lot are eating the sweet chilli sauce and going, I like spicy things.You don't.You're eating jam.
Maybe they're just not thinking, I like spicy things.They're just enjoying the sweet chilli sauce.That could be happening.
The thing is, is I wouldn't normally have sweet chili sauce on much else, but when it comes to a fried halloumi side with sweet chili sauce, there's no way I'm not going to dip that halloumi in there.There's just no way.
Yeah.See, I'm not, I'm not even going to dip it.I had some halloumi fries recently at a festival.
They were really good.Do you know what I did?I got a dip.
How do you feel about that?
I feel that is a fantastic idea.
That was good.I didn't know what that OK signified.And it was double dairy, which felt weird.
I double dairy you to eat that.That's Halloumi.Halloumi to double dairy you.So that was good.But there was sweet chilli available and I didn't dip.
Do you know what is delicious is real mayonnaise, like homemade mayonnaise, like actual mayonnaise that isn't.
And I feel like... Someone panic bought eggs in the pandemic.
That was Hollandaise.That was the Hollandaise months, exactly.But yeah, no, I can see that.
Like, ah, lovely.I mean, a lovely good mayo.I mean, who's not, what is not to love that?
I'm going to counteract what I said a little bit here.
Isn't that a bit cloying though?Sorry.
It was a bit.It was a bit claggy.
Wow.Okay.Thank you for, thank you for admitting that.Thank you for being honest about that.
I love you very much.Well, then I'll just try my own one.
Yeah.And hello to you too.Have you been to Bubala? It's amazing.It's a vegetarian restaurant in Soho, but one of their starters is this whole block of fried halloumi.And is it black seed honey or something?
Cheese and honey? See, I feel like I'm going against my own point there with sweetness, but it is absolutely delicious.
Yeah, it's really, really good.
Black honey on a chunk of halloumi.I mean, that is like, I'm saying yes to that.
It's not sliced or anything, so it's just one block, but it's like perfectly fried.You gotta go.
That sounds amazing.That sounds amazing.
Hi, this is Christopher Kimball from Milk Street Radio.I often shop at Whole Foods markets since they sell the kind of food I like.Organic vegetables, a great meat counter, and of course a great staff.
For Thanksgiving, Whole Foods offers brined turkeys as well as a spiral cut bone-in ham. The Whole Foods Market Bakery has a large assortment of pies, even a vegan pumpkin pie.Or grab some brioche and butterflake rolls for the table as well.
Or you can ask the Whole Foods team to cater your meal for you, including the bird, the sides, and desserts.Get your holiday party started at Whole Foods Market.
Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile.With the price of just about everything going up during inflation, we thought we'd bring our prices down.So to help us, we brought in a reverse auctioneer, which is apparently a thing.
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I don't drink alcohol.So my dream drink is different because obviously in every situation, sometimes it's an alcohol-free beer, which there are so many brilliant ones.They do amazing.And every year it feels like there's more and more brilliant.
I couldn't believe when they brought out alcohol-free Guinness.It was just like...
it was like a gift to be able to go into a pub and have a lovely big, and I, because I haven't drunk for seven years, I've even forgotten what a real pint of Guinness tastes like.So for me, it was just like, it was heavenly.
So I love drinking alcohol-free beers, all different kinds of alcohol-free beers, but I make kind of, yeah, so maybe it's alcohol-free Guinness, maybe I should go there.
It's good stuff.But in a meal situation, you see, that would be more like if I was going to go to a pub or go to a pub lunch, I would just be there, I would have alcohol-free Guinness, if they have it.
But like with a meal, I mean, I love a sparkling water with a bit of squeeze of lime.Hold on a minute.I know limes have not had a look in, have they?
The lemons just relax. Yeah, you hear that?That's the sound of seven lemons breathing a sigh of relief.
But I love, I got into, in fact, the lime, I did go in hard on the limes actually during lockdown again, and like really, really kind of moved into limes.
And actually I've not really revisited limes, but in a sparkling water, properly like half a, squeezed limes, bit of ice.I mean, that, it's literally, the thought of it is making my mouth water right now.That is just the most delicious drink.
We probably haven't had this happen on the podcast before, where for someone's water course they've chosen sparkling water with lemon, and then for their dream drink they've chosen sparkling water with lime.And loads of lime.
Like proper lime, loads of lime.So you're like, you've got a little bit of... that is so delicious, that drink.
You are never going to get scurvy.Congratulations.
Guaranteed.You know people still can get scurvy.I'm sure, yeah.Sorry, that's such a stupid thing to say.I really apologise.I'm so sorry.No, it's good to raise awareness.
You're using your platform for good there.Thank you, thank you, thank you.You should be doing that.
And scurvy doesn't get talked about enough.
Outside of sort of nautical history.
I think you should have all of those drinks.I think you should have the sparkling water with the lime, but I think you should also have at some point in your meal the alcohol-free Guinness. it's just at the end.
But maybe not all together, but another drink I love is lassi.So I love like salty lassi or a mango lassi.So my idea of a really lovely, but that's kind of now we're getting into pudding territory here is to have like a lassi, but with fresh mango.
So no added sugar, just like fresh mango whizzed up with like kind of kefir, like whizzed up.Like that is a, that is a delicious drink.
So maybe this is a bridging drink from your main course into your dessert.Yes, it is.Yeah, it is.Respect.Nice to have a bridging drink.Yeah, it is.
All those drinks sound great and you deserve all of them.So we found a place for each one of them.Yeah.We got sent some alcohol free Guinness during the lockdown.What?I put champagne in mine. No, I put Prosecco in it and made a black velveteen.
Did you know that in Dublin during the lockdown there was a Guinness van?
There was a van that was taking Guinness house to house so you could have it poured from the barrel, you could call up, they would drive up and they would pour the Guinness from the barrel out the back of the Guinness van in Dublin and then you could have a nice poured pint of Guinness during the lockdown.
That's lovely.It's a lovely story, isn't it?It's Ed's favourite drink, pretty much.
Oh, I love Guinness.He would have liked that a lot.I absolutely love Guinness.
And from the back of a van during lockdown?
Well, yes, because of course, you know, obviously I only drink it from a can because I drink non-alcoholic Guinness now and obviously you can't get it from a can with a widget.
But a lot of people would say that, you know, the poured Guinness in Dublin is the most delicious, which I'm sure you would know.Have you been to Dublin?
Yes, I've been to Dublin and it is delicious.
I'm not sure I pick up on the nuances.Right.So there's plenty of places in London I really enjoy Guinness, but it's also the surroundings.You're in Dublin.You're near the factory.Yeah.So it's good to see the factory while you're drinking something.
Yeah, I feel like that about Ribena.Yeah.
Your dream dessert!Now, you've already said that you don't have a sweet tooth, so I'm a bit nervous, because I do have a sweet tooth, even though I don't like sweet chilli sauce, I love desserts, I love puddings.
Is this something that would have to go with the meal, the sort of absolute mess of the meal I've just described?
No, it's completely up to you.Just whatever you want, honestly.Like, no one's judging you for... And remember, you've got that lussy there as a little bridge.
As a little bridge into something else.
Into sweetness, so it'd be a shame to go and do a savoury dessert, wouldn't it?
Well, I do love... I mean... I mean, I feel so boring saying something like fruit, like papaya or like mangoes and things like that, but it's just like so delicious.I mean, I would love to have that as a pudding, but it is a bit boring, isn't it?
Just having a little bit of that, oh, that lovely pink papaya, you know, when it's just so delicious and like... And it's kind of rare.It's not unusual fruit.It's kind of exciting.It's a different kind of a fruit.So I would like that, like sliced.
And also, and like fresh mangoes are also delicious and feels like a treat fruit.
So if I just kind of go into something and say, I would love treat fruits, like fruits that you don't normally have, like a Sharon fruit, or maybe like a dragon fruit, or maybe an assortment of treat fruits that you have to go to a special shop to get.
The exotic, the more exotic side of fruits.
The exotic side of fruits, thank you.I think that's probably a way of saying that.That would be my absolute, like, ah, yes.Because then, you know, it's just everything is delicious.
What the listener can't see, if you're only listening in audio, is every time Jessica said treat fruits, she had a body movement for it.
Treat fruits.Yeah, yeah.Both hands.Yeah.
Kind of like, a bit Tommy Cooper-y.You don't want to know that.
That's it.But I love a treat fruit.
Yeah, I love a treat fruit.Something that you wouldn't get maybe normally in your box.
In your fruit box!In your organic fruit box!
The banana's obviously not a treat fruit under that definition.
Do you love a banana though?
It does feel like a treat every time, the banana.
One thing I would love to have, I guess, and this is a sort of segue, and this is a nostalgic pudding, is a banana split. Oh yeah.I mean for me, having a banana split is like the absolute, I mean as a child that was like the ultimate treat.
If you got a banana split at the end of a meal, ow, like that was like the best day of your life.You know, like a banana split is just that and then the cream.
in its own special bowl, bit of sauce, bit of whipped cream, bit of something on it.I love it.I mean, I love it.Who doesn't?Why aren't we having... and why aren't there more banana splits happening?
Well, I was going to say, I feel sorry for the people who really thought banana splits would last forever and made the bowls.
They must have been a company that were like, well, banana splits are going to be popular forever, so we're going to create... Let's go into business.
Let's go into business and create a whole new bowl, because everything else you can just use for other stuff. That what you're using banana split bowl apart from a banana split.
Yeah, that's all you're using it for.I know.What a sad day for those people.Yeah, yeah.What do you mean?That's business.No one wants banana splits anymore.Why not?It's only for donkeys.
I don't know.It feels like it'll be the next trend to come back around, maybe.
Let's make it happen.I'm so up for it.
Well, you've got soups and dips.
Soups and dips and banana splits.Soups and dips, banana splits.Welcome to my restaurant.
You have to be at the door to welcome us like that.
is the full name.Soups and dips, banana splits.Welcome to my restaurant.That would be great.
Yeah.That's the advert and the full name.Yeah.
Yeah.I'll go to soups and dips, banana splits.Welcome to my restaurant.
Absolutely.Yeah.I mean, I do think I would fully go in business with someone who was opening a banana split place.Like a hatch that just did banana splits.I'd invest in that immediately.
They're quite difficult to eat on the move though, a banana split I would say.So it would have to be a seated, I think it would have to be seated.
There's a YouTube video of somebody who makes like
banana, like, pancakes, I think in street food somewhere in Thailand, that somehow has popped up on my feed, and I've kind of, I don't know how, like, because I'm not on any social media, but maybe some sort of food algorithm.
This is, when I go on YouTube, this, like, and it's just... For a moment, I thought you were saying it pops up on your feed, but you don't have any social media.
Well, I'm not, I'm not joined in on anything.It just sort of comes up on my phone.
But maybe it's to do with the search, isn't it?
But they have like little banana, I would like to try one of those.It's like banana pancakes.But I've seen like, she makes a sort of like stretchy pastry with a bit of, you know, so it's fresh every morning, the stretchy pastry.
And then she kind of stretches it out, puts it in this big kind of massive, great big wok and fry and then slices in the banana. Folds that up, puts that in a little tray and then puts a bit of... I don't know what it is.It looks quite sugary.
It looks like it could be some sort of condensed milk kind of style something, like on the top of that little sliced banana.I mean, and that's a... I mean, I would like to try one of those one day.
I would like to try one of those little banana pancakes one day.
I think that's a good goal in life.
One day I'd like to try that banana pancake.
I've had to go to Thailand, but I've no objection to that.
You're in the dream restaurant.
My friend's getting married in Thailand.
You can come along, get you those pancakes while we're there.
I love Thai food.Thai food, I did learn once, like, the basics of the Thai.So I just thought, actually, once you get the Thai ingredients, you put it on anything, and it's instant Thai joy.
Can you tell us the secret to instant Thai joy?
It's coriander, chopped coriander, lime, fish sauce, garlic, a little bit of chili, oil, Thai basil?
Lemongrass, chopped lemongrass.Because it's a podcast, it means that no one can really appreciate that who was listening, but no one has adopted that pose.We've got a video of it, so we'll try and put that out somewhere.
no it was no this you were like that you went like this so you had you had your hand on your hip like uh like i'm a little teacup but also your hand on your chin with your elbow just as far out as your other elbow was and uh extremely straight back posture yeah yeah and it was it was as you were trying to think of what's in the yeah
It really, really helped.
You look like a sort of wax model of an inventor in like a living history museum.
I'll take that as a compliment.
Yeah, like if they did another night at the museum, you'd be like, come to life as an inventor, thinking about something.Thinking about Thai ingredients.Would like that.I'll read your menu back to you now, see how you feel about it.Okay.
You would like sparkling water with lemon.Yes, please.Oh, thank you.You want popping almonds with all the dips, putting them on there like a pizza.
Starter you would like lentil soup from the rest of the other for the place in Budapest, but also made by yourself I guess could be but obviously that would be ideal if they could Great ride that yeah.
Oh, yeah, we can see that's kind of I guess that's Syrian lentil soup.
Yeah Yeah, so you don't have to start a main course artichoke tempura along with the finely chopped green salad and walnuts baba ghanoush and hummus
side dish fried halloumi with sweet chili sauce oh come on drink sparkling water with lime and then you're gonna have a lassi to bridge yourself over to the treat fruits did you want a banana split as well on there do you know what just as a as it's a special occasion yeah yeah yeah well banana banana split with some treat fruits around yeah and then just over just just to get to put me to sleep yeah yeah then an alcohol-free Guinness at the end
Maybe a little while after it, after a lot of that suggestion, maybe in the pub afterwards.So I've had a bit of a walk around, gone to a pub, alcohol free again.
Who would you want to go to the pub with, in the dream?
Everyone's invited.Whoever, obviously, I was out with.What do you mean?Like, just, you mean literally or in a fantasy world?
Your dream.Well, yeah, obviously in the fantasy world.We're not making you go to the pub now.
But like, you'll go into the pub now and have your Guinness after your dream meal.
All of my best friends and my family. That would be great.
Yeah, that's a good... Who's your best friend?Who's your best friend?One.
Well... Don't say your husband doesn't count.Okay, listen.I've got a lot of people I love in my life.But my oldest friend is my friend Siobhan, who I met in primary school.
And she has told the story that she said she was new, we were like four, and then the teacher said, oh, Jessica, you have to look after Siobhan.And she said, I basically just took that literally.
And was like, so in my mind, that was like, oh, for the rest of your life.That I took on that responsibility very heartily.So now we're still friends, still best friends.
Perfect.That's great.The perfect companion.That's great.I want to see a film of that.
Yeah.Or a sitcom.I've got some good pictures of us.We were super cute.
Would she have an alcohol free Guinness with you?
Yeah, she would.She might have a little bit of a red wine, maybe.
She might not have an alcohol-free Guinness.It's a particular tipple, alcohol-free.I think alcohol-free Guinness is for somebody who probably really liked drinking in the past.I feel like that's... Probably.It's a bit of a giveaway.
Yeah.And that really sounds absolutely delicious.It does sound great.Thank you.Look, thank you so much for... I've burped.Right, fantastic.
It's normally me who wraps the episode up, James has tried it for the first time and he's burped.Woah, I can't burp on cue.
No, that wasn't on cue.I hope it wasn't on cue because it's very rude.Basically I've decided not to hold it in at the end because I've already done a little bit, the rule of comedy.
Let it out.I'm not proud of it.
If there's a burp in the works, let it out.
Benito looked like he was going to cry.Yes.He looked at me absolutely so upset that I'd done it.
Because he's got headphones on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.Nice one.
Thanks so much for coming to the Dream Restaurant, Jessica.
It's been an absolute pleasure.
There we go, wonderful stuff.There's so much stuff I wanted to ask and I forgot it.I've just remembered all of it now.Oh no, tell me.Ask me.I wanted to know if there's a film in the works of her team on Shaun of the Dead.
People have been asking about that for years and years.They want there to be a film of her gang.I'm guessing not, it's been quite a long time.But it's the anniversary of Shaun of the Dead.It would be absolutely brilliant.
It'd be brilliant if it was that team.Maybe there's another zombie outbreak.
But wasn't the joke that they look exactly the same and they're having the same experience but crossing paths?
So wouldn't it be the same film with different actors?
Just do a new one now, like do a second zombie outbreak, but you follow her gang.
Who else was in the gang?
Matt Lucas, Rhys Shearsmith, Martin Freeman, and Tamsin Greig.Yeah.Well done.Maybe there are other people in that group, but I don't know.
I wanted to ask her as well about when she, her and Simon Pegg hosted a benefit show for when the tsunami happened in early 2000s or mid 2000s at the Apollo and you could buy it on, I bought it on DVD, watched it at home.
Johnny Vegas got absolutely smashed and his set is bedlam and
in the edit like Jessica's to come out and get him yeah didn't go Johnny it's over now so I want you to know how long he did on the night yeah what the panic was like backstage I want it to know all about that because yeah this is before I became a comedian I watched it and it blew my mind that this thing had happened and they'd released it yeah and uh I found that fascinating yeah and I've met him a few times but I don't want to ask him
no about that he won't remember no but i definitely wanted to ask jessica and i've completely forgot to do it yeah uh so yeah i have to get her back i'm kind of glad you didn't ask her that really yeah why i liked all the food chat we had and stuff yeah actually i mean i had no regrets about the things we did talk about i was laughing throughout she's great she's so funny it's absolutely brilliant and she didn't say heinz baked beans of course no she didn't welcome to my restaurant she did say welcome to my restaurant she said that
Kale's for donkey.Yeah, a lot of great things.Yeah So everyone should obviously if you want to hear Jessica say more great things, yes, what's the franchise?
What's the franchise comedy and now and now?Do you go watch that?I'm gonna go watch it.
I'm gonna go and watch it Audition for it, of course, rightfully didn't get it.Yeah.Hey, man, got it.Yeah.Yeah.Yeah.Yeah, the proper actor Yeah, been in like Christopher Nolan films.Yes.Yeah.Yeah And do you know what?
It was an honour to be up for the same role.I'd seriously considered as much as he was.Seriously considered as much as he was.
It means a lot to me that they... I'd imagine you auditioned in between them sending the email, offering it to him, and then there was like a day just before his agent replied and that's when they did your audition so they could just fill a bit of time.
Yeah.Yeah.Benito's just got out to take a phone call.So for the listener... Yeah.We've been left completely... The monkeys are in charge of the bus.
monkeys are in charge of the bus and we're going straight to foolish town he's gonna have so much to edit out now quick quick little announcement before it gets back if you want to win a signed chopping board by the great Benito all you have to do is tweet the off-menu official Twitter saying hello that's all you got to do yeah if you hello tweet hello and there's no time limit on this yeah and Benito will get in contact with you yep get your address yep
and he will sign the chopping board and send it to you.Open-ended.It's open-ended.So this never expires, this offer.
Oh, and here's something else you need to know.The Great Benito has skid marks.All over his pants?Yeah.
Whoa!Ed, we said we weren't ever going to reveal that!
Yeah, but I didn't ever think the monkeys would be in charge of the bus.
The monkeys are in charge of the bus!That guy's got skid marks all over his undies!And now everybody knows about it!So listen, if you want to win two chopping boards, you tweet, hello, full stop, How are those skinnies looking?Benito.
And then, hashtag, the monkeys are in charge of the bus.That's two chopping boards.That's if you want two chopping boards.If you want just one, you just tweet hello and that's fine.If you want two, it's hello, full stop.
How are those skinnies looking, Benito?Hashtag, monkeys are in charge of the bus.Thank you very much for listening to the Off Menu Podcast.
I think it's that button that you press, James.Yeah, I'll press this button.
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Hello, my name's Sarah Pascoe.Guess what?I've been on Off Menu a while back.Can't remember what I said.Vegan butter, I think.Anyway, I'm now going on tour with a new show.It's called I Am a Strange Gloop.The tour starts in June 2025.
Come and join me.I might talk about food, if that's what you need.Bread or poppadoms, I'll shout.Stealing content of Off Menu.I will probably talk about other things as well, and I might not shout bread or poppadoms.
Tickets are on sale now at sarahpascoe.co.uk.
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