Coming up, week nine NFL was super weird.Cousin Sal and I are breaking it down next.This episode of the Bill Simmons Podcast is brought to you by Ray-Ban Meta-Smart Glasses.
Built with Meta-AI, Ray-Ban Meta-Smart Glasses react to what you see so you can learn more about the world around you.You can also take hands-free photos, videos, send messages, make video calls, even play music and podcasts.
straight from your glasses with Ray Ban Meta.This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra.The NBA is back and you know what that means.So is Michelob Ultra courtside.
It gets fans closer to the game, the stories, the players, the celebrations, and it's a pretty damn good beer. Stock up your fridge with Michelob Ultra and be ready for the big plays all season long.
Learn how to get closer to the action by visiting michelobultra.com. 10-1-24 goes through 7-1-25.Visit michelobulcher.com slash courtside for free entry, entry deadlines, and official rules.Void where prohibited.
We're also brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network.I have new Rewatchables coming for you on Monday night.We did Body Double.It's the 40th anniversary of a Brian De Palma belated classic.This podcast went off the rails.
This might be the last episode because it might get taken off of Spotify and all the other platforms because lines were crossed, but that's fine.I had a great time.It was me and Chris Ryan and Sean Fantasy, so stay tuned for that on Monday night.
You'll also be able to watch it on the Ringer Movies YouTube channel as well.Thanks to everybody who bought tickets for our live show in Denver.It's sold out December 4th.Look forward to seeing everybody out there.
If you like this podcast, go check out the Bill Simmons YouTube channel.Go check out theringer.com, a great website as well.And on this podcast, Cousin Sal is here.
and we're going to talk about a legitimately goofy week 9, plus we're going to guess the lines for week 10, we're going to talk Halloween, and a whole bunch of other stuff.First, our friends from ProJet. Hello.Happy Daylight Savings.Cousin Sal.
I don't know what time it is.It's like, I feel like it's like almost midnight.It's like I've been up for a hundred hours.
We've lost an hour of our lives, but I think we won money.I mean, when the favorites are 13 and one straight up, we had to have won money, right?
Is that what happened?Okay.Oh, we didn't?Well, we did lose an hour of our lives.I won some money.The cold's kind of hurt my feelings. We just watched a Sunday night Flacco versus Darnold battle.Did the Colts cross the 20?
Did he say that near the end, they never crossed the 20?He said they didn't take a snap inside the 20, right.So the Colts were also on Daylight Savings Time.This was a messed up day.
All the favorites won straight up except for the New Orleans Saints who lost by a point.So any conceivable tease you have that didn't have the Saints in it basically covered.We saw some bad coaching.We saw some pretty awful quarterback play.
I can't really think of a well-played, both teams playing really well game that we saw.Can you?
Um, no, I don't think so.I mean, yeah, like the, uh, you're going to point to the Ram Seahawks, right, which was an entertaining game, but neither team, neither team deserved to win.
I don't think, I mean, the Rams, the Seahawks out Seahawks everybody, but yeah, well-played game.Interesting.
No, not a lot of, we had a lot of clusterfuck games.
We had a lot of rollercoaster games.We had a lot of, why did they do that games? And I can't wait to go into all of them.I guess the big thing for me, Sal, 28% of the NFL right now is either two and six or two and seven.
Yeah, these are the two end teams.New England, Miami, Cleveland, Las Vegas, Tennessee, Jacksonville, Carolina, New Orleans, and the New York Giants.
And I thought this seemed super unusual, but I went back and I looked at some previous years and like in 2005, 13 teams won six games or less.That seems like a lot.2003, 10 teams won either four and 12 or five and 11.
So I guess it's not that unusual.But New England, Miami, Cleveland, Las Vegas, Tennessee, Jacksonville, Carolina, New Orleans, and the Giants, all of those teams suck except for maybe Miami. Miami might be sneaky.
I'm not, I know they're a cross off, but, uh, I think that last two weeks they've actually been okay.You think like they, they lost at the end to Arizona and then today they hung with Buffalo the whole game.
So they might be a step up with Tua, but everybody else is terrible.
I'm with you.Maybe, um, glass half full.The number one pick usually has two wins, right?Like two or three wins.Yeah.To have two through nine games is pretty good.I mean, I feel like these teams will end up with four, five wins.I don't know.
I'm trying to be nice.They all suck.You're right.Jacksonville. No, listen, Miami will screw you.You'll take them against the spread.They'll screw you like they did today.Jacksonville will do the same.
They'll do just enough to stay in it, and if you have a favorite, you're gonna lose.But other than that, don't look for any entertainment value from a lot of these teams.
Well, they did the rankings for the number one pick, which is based on strength of schedule when you have a long tie.New England is number one as the number one pick right now, two and seven, but strength of schedule
471, New Orleans second, Carolina third, Cleveland fourth, Vegas fifth, and the Giants are somehow sixth, even though they have the same terrible record as everybody else.I watched the pass today with Kyle.It was the perfect Patriots game.
It was Drake Mae Heroics, Senate to OT, tough loss at the end.It's fine.We don't need to win those games.Drake is great.We love Drake.Just all we care about is Drake.The team's gonna be bad and that's how it goes.
When you're bad, you wanna have one thing to root for and ultimately a loss is great.
That's exactly right.And, uh, you know, that's a tough pivot for you and Kyle, right?Cause your team wins 12, 13, 14 games every year.That's what you're used to the last decade.And now you have to root for it through this different, weird lens.
That's what That's what it is, yeah, right.And that Hail Mary he threw from the seven yard line, I mean, really, it was just like a short Hail Mary.He extended the play.
He probably would still be back there running around, because I don't feel like Tennessee rushed anybody or did anything.But yeah, definitely fun to watch.Much more fun than my quarterback or a lot of these others.
Oh, I can't wait to talk about your team.Did you see, so they've only been keeping track of this since 2016, the ESPN Next Gen, whatever it's called? The Daniels hail Mary last week and the Drake may touchdown to send the game an OT today.
We're the longest the quarterback has held the ball on a touchdown pass.Drake may held it for, I think like 12 seconds.And Jada Daniels yesterday was also like, or last week was also 12 seconds.It was unbelievable to watch.
I thought they probably should have gone for two.The numbers might've been against it, especially because Drake was getting the crap kicked at it.But I feel like on the road, Go for two, decide it.
It goes to our theory of if you're the other team, what do you not want them to do?And I think Tennessee is probably more scared if we're just going for two there, right?
Yeah, I think so, and you know what, you're leaving it to a coin toss, and I know nobody scored six, and that's how it was, but your defense has to be spent by then, so you're really, that's the other part of it, right?
Don't you wanna be fresh, and okay, we have this play, and like you said, you don't really care if you're winning these games anyway.
I just thought that would be a good thing for Mayo, right, to win the locker room back over with a win, and if you lose, they lost anyway, so it didn't matter, but what you brought up before, maybe it would be fun,
cool new wrinkle that quarterbacks can't be touched for the first 12 seconds.Oh, think of the touchdowns we were starting in the offense.Yeah, that's it.
He, it's so funny.He almost ran for a hundred yards today.He almost had a 200, 100 and our coaching staff is so bad.They run no players where he just kind of rolls out.He's so good rolling out.He can either use his legs or throw on the run.
We never do it. I tweeted today about when it's 1st and 10, it's always 2nd and 13 after 1st and 10.We managed to go backwards with a 3-yard play, whether it's a bad screen, a run gets stuffed.It's coaching malpractice with this team.
So I'm 99.9% sure this happened.We lose the coin toss in overtime. But then after the game, Drake May said he threw that past 60 yards that got intercepted.It seemed like he underthrew it, but he chucked it from his own 30.
The guy caught it at the 10.And he said he misjudged the wind because the wind was against him.Oh, which means we lost the coin toss, but somehow didn't take the side that had the wind.The New England Patriots 2024. How dumb is that?Do we penalty?
It's shocking when this team gets a first down and they don't have like, oh, flag's down, flag on the play.Yeah.
So do we call it the Music City Meteorology Report?I don't know what we call this.
I don't know.It's interesting.I don't know what you call it.I was trying to think who has the most hopeless situation out of those nine teams. Like even if you're Carolina at two and seven, Bryce was an awful today. Right.
He orchestrated a game winning drive.He was smiling at the end of the game.I don't know if that people were there was all the trade deadline stuff the last few days.And people like teams are calling on Bryce Young.
It's like, what are they calling for to see if they can get him for a seventh round pick?Why would Carolina give up Bryce Young?He's been there two years.Like, I wouldn't write that dude off.I think the bleakest situation is still Cleveland.Yes.
They scored 10 points today.They haven't had picks for three years. That's probably the team I would not want to be out of all those.How about you?
Yeah, I think that's it.And all the cash restraints, right?They're screwed with this pick, with this Watson.And, you know, we try to convince ourselves that the rookies are great and the Flaccos and the Winstons are good.
And then we get smacked in the face in a week like week nine.And Flacco wasn't very good.Winston was very, very bad.You know, everybody who thought Winston was going to turn the Browns around, including me, I'll have a little egg on their face.
But yeah, Cleveland's in the worst spot, I think.
He was just bad.I mean, Tennessee is no great shakes, I'll tell you that.Their defense was pretty good, but they're also, I wouldn't say the best coached team.I didn't see a lot of building blocks.Their starting center went out today.
I mean, out of all those teams, you could talk me into a couple of them never winning again this season.The crazy one, to me, is New Orleans, though, being two and seven.They've lost seven straight, and I should have prepped you on this one,
If a coach gets fired tomorrow, which one would you pick?Because Dennis Allen's gotta be the favorite, right?
Now I'm hearing McCarthy from people who are normally level-headed in the Cowboys camp and everything, but are also in the know, so all right, so it's Dennis Allen.It's not gonna be the Raiders.So Dayball, who are my choices?Dayball, Dennis Allen.
Doug Peterson can't be counted out ever. And Nick Seriani, has anyone ever been fired after a win?
Take him out too?Yeah, that'd be interesting.I would say Dennis Allen, Derek Carr got Dennis Allen fired twice.I think he could do it again, and I think it could be soon.It really could, because we talk about the outlier game.
which was the one that's weird, like you might say it was the Raiders beating the Ravens, or I think the other one you would say Patriots beating the Bengals.
It might have been the Saints beating the Panthers 47-10, because those teams are a lot closer than 47-10 back in week one.So if he's not gone this week, it's gonna be.
When we had, we did a whole segment before week three about the Saints versus the 99 Rams. Deciding like, is this real?We didn't think it was real with the 99 Rams for a few weeks.Right.That's in the archives.People can go listen to that.Yeah.Yeah.
Derek Carr, he almost killed Chris Alave.
I mean, for real, he did the classic, not only did he lead him into somebody who was about to pop him, but he put the ball high, so he's jumping up, and you can't alligator arms there, because then you look like a wuss.
So he's completely extended and helpless as somebody's coming in to crush him.And second concussion this year for him.I don't think we'll see Chris Alave again.
No, I think you gotta, I think you gotta keep him out.And I think this is three overall in the last, I don't know, two, two years or something.But what was the worst Derek Carr moment?
Like when you almost killed your teammate after the game, when you realize you lost the pathetic Panthers, or when you go back to the locker room, pick up your phone and see that Michael Thomas has waged war on you.
Five straight tweets on you.
Just going crazy.Just a NFC version of Antonio Brown, just laying it out there for him.And then you have to, at the press conference, you have to address it.Bad, bad day for Derek Carr.
Well, it got worse than that because there was all these info tweets.There was one about how he'd now lost to every team in the league except the Raiders since they played there in December.They had one where he now has the most losses.
He's tied with Archie Manning for most losses by any QB in their 11th season.He's got like a hundred and... something losses.So yeah, not great.
It was after it was most losses after three, four, five, six, seven years.And it was like David, David, David, Derek, Derek, all cars.And then he's got to pass Manning.But you're right with that 31.I mean, that is pretty spectacular, losing 31 teams.
And he has a chance to break that, get to 32.I think it's Raiders Week 17, I believe.
I was surprised that nobody had done that before. I would have thought one of these QBs that played for 20 years would have just randomly lost to every team.
Even if it was Tom Brady, I know he didn't lose that many games, but I even would have maybe believed that. But, or like Brett Favre or like Warren Moon or, uh, uh, Phil Rivers.You could have told me Phil Rivers did that, Drew Brees.
And everyone who played like 10 or 12 years.Yeah.Flacco even.
Yeah, I guess it would be tough because the, if you're in the same conference the whole time and you're only playing like other divisions.Yeah.Once every four years.
Well, maybe your guy, Dak, can do it.
I don't know if he's going to be around long enough.I really don't.I don't know.
Sure.Yeah.Get it out of the way. What do I have to do?Do I have to apologize?I guess I do.Because I don't see a path now.I know I did.I had a neatly paved way to go and I just, we're bad.And Dak is now, I'm not sure what he's saying on the sideline.
He was saying we fucking suck or the refs suck.It could be both.He'd be right in any point.But I don't know where to start because I was wrong about the running backs. Right?I just didn't think this would be the year from hell.
And yet Kellen Moore is thriving and Dan Quinn is thriving with Washington and Tony Pollard, who had the softest thousand yards you'll ever witness last year for the Cowboys, is second in the AFC in rushing.
And now we have injuries all over the place.Yeah.Just disgusting.I'm out on them completely.Fake punt, no tackling.How completely?We're not even week 10 yet. You're still in single digits.Well, the problem is other teams are winning, you know?
Like the Eagles, I can't give it.And Washington has got seven.They're gonna have 10 wins at least.And then you're chasing Minnesota, Green Bay.They'll probably one or two teams from the NFC West.Come on.
Right now, the Lions are seven and one.Washington's seven and two.Philly and Minnesota are six and two.Atlanta and Green Bay are six and three. And that's not counting any NFC West team.Because Arizona's five and four.
So those are your seven right now.So they are a full three wins behind basically everybody they have to catch.
With half a season left.Well, and Eagles and Texans next.That's before Thanksgiving.They have the Gi.I don't even know if they'd win Thanksgiving.I'm really so down on it.
It feels like this was Jerry's kind of pseudo plan this whole time. not spend too much money on this year's roster, just kind of get through it, do the smoke and mirrors thing, but ultimately they kind of made their own bed, right?
You went into the season without any running backs, you took the DAC contract to the tail end of the preseason, took the CD thing, same thing.I don't know.I think he kind of knew what kind of hand he had, it felt like.
He brought McCarthy back for no reason.
I thought that was insane in January that McCarty, we, when we did the pot after the Cowboys last, we were like, who's the next coach going to be?There's no chance it was going to be him.
But, and, and this is me apologizing, but I don't, I mean, how, why did you think it was going to be the year from hell after three straight 12 win season?Was it the running back?Was it because their linebackers on paper got better?
you know, they were gonna have digs, he was gonna be healthy, and so the defense should have been better, but was it just the running back?
I mean, I'm sure we should have had more than that.I thought it was a little smoke and mirrors-y last year.When we did the over-unders, I think you went over and I went under, and I just didn't like the look of the team.
And, you know, neither did the betting public.I mean, the wind shifted by an entire wind, which we never see, right?Started out at 10.5, it finished at 9.5,
and there was juice on the under, it just felt like the things that made the Cowboys special, it always started with like, you have an awesome offensive line.Like, let's start there.
Awesome offensive line, you could always kind of rush the passer, you could always score points when you needed it, but it was always like, the O-line was the foundation of the team, and it doesn't seem like it's the same anymore.
So I don't know what's the big strength now other than CD Land being the top seven receiver.Parsons.
There's nothing, there's nothing, you're right.And it is a different team when Micah Parsons isn't double and triple teamed and all he's doing is sitting out and ranking quarterbacks and he doesn't put his own in the top eight.
You know, and all the Cowboys news, the Zeke Elliott stuff, everything's such a big deal and terrible and then it ends up being a big deal and terrible.
Well, we had, we pegged this as the hardest part of your schedule before the season.
Cause you're at San Francisco, at Atlanta, lost those, got Philly next week, Houston at home on a Sunday night.And then, you know, it gets a little easier the second half. So I could see you talking yourself into this team one more time.
No, I'm just saying, you're four and six.
You're talking me into them.
Four and six, heading into the final stretch of the season when you have like the Giants.Cincinnati.Carolina.You got Cincinnati at home, you got Tampa at home.You play Washington twice.
So when that first one in Washington, I don't see it though.It doesn't seem.
Oh man.You had me.You had me.And then you bailed.
Well, I'm just trying to think, I'm trying to plan out the rest of the year in the pod.And I know how, I know you love to fool yourself into thinking the Cowboys might have it.
I'll be fine.You know what, I'm gonna be talking Mavericks a lot.I don't know.
No, but you're right.The other problem, really it sounds stupid, but the other teams keep winning.So then we're chasing a number, like you said, we're three games behind and we're not even that good.
My biggest regret of the summer is not picking Washington to win the division.And I blame House.That's just where I've landed.I blame House.Because I called House and I asked him and he talked me out of it.
But they just keep, this is what happens every year.Doesn't have to make sense, right?They just, like they didn't, Washington didn't play that well today.The Giants kind of ran all over them.And they didn't made enough plays to win.They won by five.
They just keep putting the wins up. keep advancing and next week they believe in their QB.There's always a video of them in the locker room celebrating after at this crazy Hail Mary win.And it just seems like they have it.
And then you have Philly who I want to talk about after the break, but, um, I'll tell you what Dallas did for me.Million dollar picks.We had, uh, Dallas to seven and a half and the over, I think 45 and a half had to go over.
And Ku is kicking an extra point to go up, I think 15 and misses it.And it becomes a 14 point game.So now I get the Cowboys cheap touchdown to cut it to seven and I'm going to cover everything at once.Right.Cowboys score with like two minutes left.
They're down eight.They go for two.There's like three minutes left.When did this become a thing that you go for two down eight? with under three minutes left.I've seen teams do this now three, four times.
Like what's the point of this now puts pressure on the other team because they're down.You're up six instead of seven.You're going to act like more skittish.I don't get it.
You could stick it in front of me, the numbers that indicate it makes sense, and I'll just sit there with my arms folded.I'm like, I don't wanna see it.This doesn't make sense.
You're saying our two-point attempt is better than anybody else's, and it just isn't.I don't go for it.
So they end up getting it, and they lose by six, and I hit my bet.So now I feel like I'm square from losing the Hail Mary game last week.Yeah, yeah.Because I lost the Hail Mary.I don't think I've won a Hail Mary game ever.
I've been on the losing side of like five of them.
Yeah, no one's ever won a Hail Mary game.But I am happy you mentioned Coup missing and everything.I feel like we're at a good place in the season where the offenses were down and kicking, everybody was making a 59 yarder.
Now the kicking's off a little bit and the offenses are good.Those early afternoon games, you know, Dallas, that was 48 points and Baltimore put up 41, Buffalo, Miami was 57 points, so I'm enjoying it a little more.
I agree with you.We're gonna take a break for the podcast. This episode is brought to you by the 2025 Lincoln Aviator SUV.Hmm.The 2025 Lincoln Aviator nails that feeling and next level confidence.
The updated grill and sleek lights, total head turners, under the hood of refined twin turbo V6 powers you through with authority.
Inside, pure comfort, plush three row seating, custom climate control, available massage seats, keep you ready to tackle whatever's next. Explore more at Lincoln.com.Some models, trims, and features may not be available or may be subject to change.
Check with your local retailer for current information.Lincoln and Aviator are trademarks of Ford or its affiliates.
This episode is brought to you by Old El Paso.Does game day hosting feel like an extreme sport?Not anymore.With Old El Paso, feeding your hungry crowd is oh so easy.
Old El Paso's crunchy stand and stuff shells, bold seasonings, and squeezable sauces are fumble free, flavor packed, and perfect for cheering on your team.Football season is taco season with Old El Paso.Level up your next tailgater watch party.
Shop game day essentials at oldelpaso.com.
Okay.Eagles Jaguars, where we had Nick Sirianni trying to out dumb coach, coach middle seat. It wasn't an out-coach, it was an out-dumb-coach.What's the right verb for this?Uncoach?Decoach?
Yeah, it's just dumbassery.I don't know what the verb would be.
I guess the opposite of out-coach would be in-coach?
So Cyrion is trying to in-coach Coach Middleseat.What a battle.I mean, I don't know how many times the Eagles didn't get it on fourth down. I don't know, they were 0 for 3 on 2 points.
They were up 5 near the end after they had almost blown a 22 point lead and tried a 58 yard field goal to go up 8.Didn't get it.All of a sudden the Jaguars are basically at midfield with a chance to win the game.My friend Mike Tolan was there.
and a lifelong Eagles fan who I share Clipper tickets with.And I'm texting him through the game and I'm like, I can't believe you're there for us.And he's like, I can't either.And then as Jaguars get the ball, he texts me, it's really happening.
No way we stopped them on this drive.My three friends I'm with have all vowed they're not coming back if we lose this game, like ever. And then what they didn't count on was Trevor Lawrence was like, look, I suck.
There's no, there's no way I'm pulling this off.Trevor Lawrence was so bad in this game.Anyway, these were like, this was the Spider-Man meme of terribly coached, dumb, stupidly played games.
It really was, and if there were eight opportunities to figure out fourth and one or a two-point conversion, Sirianni wasn't there for any of them.He just wasn't.
And I feel like Saquon, as great as he was, 159 yards rushing, and what do you have, like 40 receiving?He almost had 200 yards total.I feel like he was on some kind of weird drug.
They might want to investigate this, because he was doing stuff- Like the Limitless drug? It could be the limitless drug.Like he hurtled somebody backwards?Right.
Spinning around, hurtled someone backwards, but then like dove, like slid on what he thought I think was third and one, but it was like third and six.
Yeah, that was weird.I thought he was trying to stay in balance to keep the clock going, but it just also felt like he could have gotten the first down and ended the game.
Yeah, I don't think he counted the false start penalty that had just happened, but yeah, that was Sirianni.I don't know how he escapes these. Bizarre.
I'll tell you, so here was one of my many questions for you about this game.Who is the most entertaining fan base with a frustrating NFL team?Because I think it might be the Eagles.
I thought the shots of the fans during the game as weird shit was happening was like unparalleled.Because when they cut to like the Browns, The Browns fans, you feel bad for them.They're sad.
They look like they've just been released from prison or that they've just found out something terrible about a relative.You actually feel bad.Same thing for Buffalo fans and some of the other torture ones.
I think they seem happy no matter what.I know in general they're tortured because they haven't won, but yeah, you're right.So far, I'm looking through, but so far, you're right, it's gotta be the Eagles.
It's Eagles and Jets in the finals.Right, okay. the goofy green jerseys, it's cold out, they kind of can't believe they spent their Sunday going to a game like this.
But they had some of the funniest, I would have watched a whole separate TV of just the camera painting around, just showing the Eagles fans.They couldn't believe what was happening. Cause this game was 22, nothing.
They kick a PAT and I think there was a penalty or maybe there's a penalty on the touchdown and it moves to the one yard line.So Sirianni is like, Oh, Tush push, let's go up 24, nothing.And they fucking stopped the Tush push.
And I was like, Oh, Then Jacksonville scores.Somehow they pull off a two point, which was a miracle.And then we have this Saquon fumble and all of a sudden it's 22-16 in like five seconds.It's like, what just happened?
And then you just kind of knew what you were in for.But man, this Eagles team, once A.J.Brown comes out,
That was it, that's all I was gonna say.
Yeah, they just seem like a pretty ordinary team.
Two for 36, he has a knee injury now, so that was rough.But yeah, you're right, ultimately it was Trevor Lawrence saying, all right, I gotta get some of these fantasy owners some points for me, but I have no intention of winning this game.
Well, I looked this up.So Trevor Lawrence is his fifth year.Do you know how many times Trevor Lawrence has fallen behind by 20 plus points in an NFL game?
Ooh, fifth year, so 64 games.
16, that's too many.325 times.
Yeah, my math might be off, but that's what the research said.Now, is any quarterback down 20 more than this dude?No.It feels like it happens six times a season.And it's almost like he wants to be down 20, because that's when he can finally cook.
But these two teams, you have the Eagles, who literally can't taste their own blood unless they're up 22 blowing a lead.And then you have the Jaguars who are in a coma until they're down 22.So it was just the perfect matchup.
And yes, he dug out there.
Would you say the Eagles are the second best team in the NFC or is it so you put the Vikings at them?
I had that question for you with Packers-Lions, because I think the Packers lost their number two spot today, because they were really bad.
I think they lost it to the Eagles, unfortunately, as bad as they were.And this team's gonna be around for a while.
Flip the question around.If you're the Lions, what team is on your radar the most in the NFC?
But that might just be because we don't wanna play the Packers, they're a division, they're gonna be a little hungrier.That might not mean that the Packers are better, but until the 49ers heat up with McCaffrey, I would say the Eagles are second.
I think you're right, because on paper, they do all the things you would wanna be able to do in January, right?They can run the ball, they can make some big plays down the sidelines or deep, Their quarterback can make plays in third and seven.
It feels like they can rush the passer most of the time.On paper, sure.I don't trust them at all and I think they're poorly coached.
I'm with ya, I think more times than not, they'll figure out the third and short, which is also a huge, huge advantage in January, right?
I mean, they get to third and three, now with Barkley and Tushpush, we talk, as heterosexual men, we talk about Tushpush way too much on a Sunday.I really don't know, I don't get it.
You know what I don't understand about the Tushpush?People are like, it's not as good anymore, because Kelsey's not the center.It's like, what does he have, like the strength that,
moms get when their child is trapped under a car and they get the strength to like lift the car up.Is he superhuman?So he's just that much stronger than a center that he could just collapse a defensive line forward.This is the difference.One guy.
He would take two defensive tackles and push him through the goalpost and everybody else would be like, what's going on with this one guy?I don't know.
Well, apparently he's super strong.
He can break a phone like no one's business.I'll tell you that.
Incredible Jaguar season. Like really an all-timer.And I feel like I've watched probably too much of their season or I've had money.Today I had an Eagles tease.I had a tease in real life and a million dollar picks.Just sweat that fucking thing out.
Eagles down to one and a half.Didn't know that would be a sweat fest.
So, the other- This might be or set a record, I'm sorry to interrupt, for years from hell. Like how many year from hell teams are there?
You know, you mentioned the 17, whatever, with two wins, but just, you wouldn't have pinned this on the Jaguars or the Cowboys.You know, like you don't think the Cowboys were going to end up with six wins, did you?
And now it's looking like something like that.
Well, you had, what was the year near the end of Romo?You went like four and 12?
Oh yeah, that was a bad one, yeah.
Sometimes in the NFL, when it goes wrong, all of a sudden you're like, wow, we just won five on 11.What happened?It's like the anchorman fight scene.It's like, oh my God, Brick killed the guy.I'll say this about Lawrence.
He's just really unimpressive. He's really inaccurate.Um, I don't think he knows where the ball's going.Sometimes he makes boneheaded decisions.Like I was so nervous.I was going to lose that tease.
And on the other hand, I felt like pretty comfortable that Lawrence was the guy ready to foil it.Cause I didn't think he was going to do it.And he, his last drive was awful.Like his passes were spraying all over the place.
I think like maybe, I'm looking now.All right, he took off five times.Like a lot of these guys, and it drives me crazy with Dak, but hey, we gave you all this money.Do you plan on running the ball at all?
What if it's like third and six and you see nothing open except you have a big, big lane up the middle?Are you gonna run or are you gonna tuck?Are you gonna throw it into the sideline?I would love some honesty out of these guys.
I feel like we used to see Trevor Lawrence run and scramble for 15 yards more than, you know, and now maybe because it's year four or five, he just doesn't wanna do it anymore.
Yeah, it seems like when he gets a head of steam, it's pretty great.
Kyle and I are having a lot of trouble adjusting to Drake May taking off, because there hasn't been a Patriots quarterback that's run like this since I was a kid, when it was Steve Grogan, before he blew out his knee.
But he, sometimes he'll run up the middle of the line, which is like, Josh Allen can do that, Lamar can obviously do that, but he'll go back, and if it's not there, he just goes up, and all of a sudden, he's a running back.I'm just not used to it.
I'm like, oh my God, what's he doing?Oh, don't get hurt. Right.Nervous the whole time.But his, he really did look like Josh Allen in some different moments today.Like he's not quite as big as Allen is, but it's a lot of the same playbook.
Now he had a couple of terrible throws, but you know, it's his first start ever.
No, when your quarterback's running for first downs, it's exciting.And he's young.I thought he carried them.
Like his offensive line was abysmal.His receivers are awful.Like just awful. The running game was non-existent.I think the other running backs were like 10 for 12.Other NFC game, because we talked about the Eagles, was Packers-Lions, which
I was glad I didn't take a million dollar picks because House and I had talked about it for a while.We didn't know where we're getting from love.And even to the end, the tease with the Packers felt good, but it was like, how healthy is love?
Then the sloppy conditions, bad weather.But it felt like the Lions checked off another box, Sal.
where all these reasons not to think they're gonna win the Super Bowl, and then you start getting to the, well, outdoors, bad weather, what are they gonna look like?What's golf gonna look like?They were fine.They dominated the game.
They didn't even do that much offensively, but defensively, they were really good, and love was terrible.I thought it was a weirdly good win for them, because it wasn't like an explosive Lions win.
It was kind of like a tough guy December, January game that they pulled off.
Absolutely.And I don't know what happened with house between Friday and Sunday, but everybody was on the Packers on the ring or pregame show today.Like, no, no, this is their downfall.
But I think we do this probably because we've gotten bitten the ass before, but we do this with super good teams like Detroit, you know, and Buffalo, maybe like, all right, they have to, they have to come down to earth.
They're now 40 and 15 against the spread in their last 55 games. It's crazy, it's 73%.
What a crazy number, Jesus.
Yeah, 40 and 15 cover, and you know, and then it's raining a little.Not that golf had an amazing game, but yeah, they did shut them down.The defense, you're right, is the most surprising without Hutchinson, right?
They're not getting that rush, but they're still holding these, you know, still making teams punt.
And I'm surprised without Jamison Williams.I thought their offense, their offense wasn't great today, but they made a couple big fourth down plays. and they always get just enough done to pull it off.
It was a bad Jordan Love game, and I don't know how hurt he is, but this is another weird, he's had a couple stinkers this year, and I'm not ready to do like are we sure Jordan Love's good or any of that stuff, but I just don't think he's been nearly as good as I thought he was gonna be when you think like the promise of the playoffs last year, what he looked like, what he looked like down the stretch last year.
I just don't think he's, He's been really erratic.
He's also hurt.I mean, you saw him, they had the opportunity to snap the ball with the time elapsing, right?And he just couldn't even make it up the field.
Yeah, couldn't, he was like kind of waddling.Yeah, so that's why, I don't want to overreact to it, but he was bad today and that was one of the reasons they lost.They needed him to be.
There was also some classic wet weather stuff, you know, like some drops and, you know,
So the Lions, I mean, this is what happens when you're well built and well coached, right?You win games like this, it doesn't really matter.
I mean, they had 24 points and you would never, you know, you would never have thought they were gonna lose that game.
Ramsey Hawks was probably the game of the day.Yeah. So every year I feel like I get irrationally attached to a team, and I think it's the Rams this year.I just like them.I like Stafford.I like how resilient they are.I really like McVay.
I think they're overachieving with what they have.I like some of their young guys.They really hit a home run with Jared Burst.He's all over the place in every one of these games.
But they had this ridiculous Puka ejection today that I still don't understand.There were some weird calls today. That call was weird, the line safety that got knocked out.
There was other ones where it seemed like the guys, it should have been a penalty and it wasn't.I don't think they figured out that defensive back hitting the receiver penalty at all.
Oh, that's bad too.But the puka thing, can we talk about that real quick?
Like they, and I know you don't want an all out brawl on the field, but some of these guys that are barely punching another guy in the helmet, first of all, punching a guy in a helmet, the referee should just point at you and laugh if you're going to punch at someone's helmet.
Cause you're going to break your hand.Like if I, if I lost a bet and put a hole in my wall, in my own wall, I wouldn't expect the police to show up and be like, Hey, we're, we're carting you out of here. I was like, yeah, it's my wall.I'm an idiot.
I'm going to have to do, yeah, my knuckle.I'm going to urgent care in a minute.Leave me alone.But that's a dumb way to get thrown out.It's a dumb thing to get thrown out for, I think.
I didn't like it.This was, if I'm a Seahawks fan, this was an absolute crusher.
Geno had some awful, awful, awful throws. they seemed like they were going to pull it out when it got to 2020 near the end.JSN was going nuts.I mean, he was, he seemed like he was wide open the entire game, just making plays everywhere.
And then the very next play, he'd catch something big.
And then they win the toss. And then they're going down and it's like, oh, here we go.Like, are they going to score?Are they going to get a field goal?What's going to happen?
And then all of a sudden they get stuffed on fourth and one and Stafford just jumped all over it.But I think this Rams team, they're four and four.It felt like their season was over a month ago.And Haas and I did this on Thursday.
They were five to one, I think, to win the division.They were plus 310 to make the playoffs. Yeah, I, to me, they're a playoff team.I think they know how to pull these games out.I trust them.
I trust their infrastructure more than some of these other teams.Also, Kyron Williams gets really good yards.Like he, it's not like he's wide open on some of these runs.He's just kind of in the middle.
Like he's, he always gets like seven yards when it seems like he's going to get three.
He's very shifty and he didn't score today though, did he?This is like the first time in a while.Yeah, they're good.I gotta say, I thought McVay screwed that up on fourth and two at the end of regulation.It was like 37 seconds left.
First of all, I would have run on third down and then I would have gone for it because again, in overtime, Seattle got the ball.They have the 12th man. Defense is a tie.They kind of got lucky, the Rams, to get that ball back and win 26-20.
But you're right.They just should be plus 380 now, right?To win the division?
Yeah.So they're still not bad. So they got Miami at home on a Monday night, which we're doing Guess the Lines later, which seems like, oh, well then they'll go five and four, they'll beat Miami.
But Miami has been better, I would watch out for that game.Then they're at the Pats, then they're home Philly, and then they're at New Orleans.And that feels like they could go three and one in those next four.
If they go three and one, that would put them at a seven and five range.I like them on the road.
I feel like they get to 10 wins.More than anything.I really do.
I like them on the road.I think that's a good betting spot for them when they're on the road like this, and plus the one and a half. the, we got to talk about the one and a half lines.Like this was like a weird one.
Like, Oh, why the Rams favorite at Seattle?They're going to really lose four in a row at home.Seattle, Houston was a one and a half.The jets were one and a half.We got to figure out the one and a half.So we'll be all right.
Well, did Arizona change your opinion of them?Cause they killed the bears today.And that was really one sided the whole game.
Yeah.I think that was going to be a game where I wasn't going to give credit to anyone who won.
I didn't bet on it.House and I said, but Arizona is just on my do not bet list.
I'm not getting sucked in either way.I don't trust them, but they look good.And Kyler wasn't good in the game.And I thought they still dominated.They, Caleb was under attack.
Mm-hmm.Yeah, he couldn't get up as well to be fair.Gino was under attack, too I know we throw some bad place, but he has bad seven sacks.
But yeah, Caleb was rough I mean that team was one play away from being five and two Right and now what four and four that's gonna ask you.
Do you think though?Did the hail Mary kill their season?Because they looked like kind of dead men walking a little bit today.I And they don't have a good coach, that's another problem.And they don't have an offensive line.
and they missed this window where they could've been in Washington.You would've thought Arizona was a winnable game, and now it's like, I just don't think that's a playoff team.They can't play.
Well, we're screwed.I mean, we had that first to fourth in the NFC North, and it was right before that Hail Mary.It was looking solid or doable at least, and now I haven't even looked at their schedule.I guess they have a home.
They're home against your team this week, all right.But then Green Bay, Minnesota, and Detroit right in a row.
Oh, uh, Cerruti reports there has been a coach firing, but it was an assistant.The Raiders fired their offensive coordinator.
Oh, what did that guy do?
Apparently it was his fault that their quarterbacks were Gardner Minshew and Aiden O'Connell and then today Desmond Ritter.Did we come up with a Desmond Ritter nickname?I can't remember.
No, we try to remember if we had it last week.
Didn't Dickey have a song with Desmond in it?What was that?Desmond Decker?
Yeah, Desmond Decker.Yeah.He was a Ska legend, I guess.Yeah.Desmond Decker.
Well, anyway, Arizona, I wouldn't bet on them.I'm never betting on any of their games. You know, they're five and four.They stole that Miami game last week in a good way.They stole that game against the Chargers, who looked awesome today.
Their schedule was a lot easier down the stretch, and they're gonna have at least a half-game lead heading into next week, because San Francisco's on a buy.
Well, here's the thing.We can't take every team in the NFC West, right?So we think Seattle's flawed.I think Seattle's out.
I think they've missed their window, yeah.They're four and five, and I think they had to be six and three or five and four at this stretch with what's coming.
They might have the worst offensive line of anybody.
Really bad, really bad.In Geno's lap every play.If they miss the window, they should find it and jump out.So I think it's either 49ers or Rams.49ers, if I look at today's game, they're on a buy.I'd look like, guys, we gotta get our shit together.
This division, we could win it half trying here.And McCaffrey comes back, they're right in it.
You have McCaffrey, so they have bye this week, at Tampa next week, home Seattle, at Green Bay, at Buffalo.Not easy.
That's an interesting stretch, yeah.
And then Arizona has the Jets at home, bye week, at Seattle, at Minnesota.And they got the Patriots in Carolina a little bit later, so.Arizona, I'm trying to think who would be the most fun to bet against.
Yeah, as like either a four seed.The NFC West is gonna be a four seed.Right.Or somebody sneaking into a seven seed in the wild card.I just feel like betting it's Arizona.Yeah, we gotta pick our team.The playoffs would be, that would be pretty tasty.
It would have been the Bears, but it is Arizona, so yeah.And we don't wanna say Washington, but who knows what they're gonna look like in January.
Forgot to mention, I'm looking at my notes, Your team turned the ball over four times on downs today.What?And they said it was a record, but I couldn't tell if it was a record for the National Football League or just for the Cowboys.
It was unclear from the graphic.
It's gotta be just for us.
They said some sort of record. How did you spend for the Cowboys, right?Is that really fours the most?I feel like we do it three times on a normal week.Fours a lot.I mean, that's like one a quarter.You're just bombing on fourth down.Yeah, yeah.
I like that McCarthy's expressions, like he never knows.He's like a police sergeant in those 80s movies that can't believe one of the detectives went rogue.He's like, what?Where did Axel go?Oh my God, what happened?
He always seems completely taken aback that they decided to run a reverse with CD Lamb on 4th and 1.He had no idea.He's finding out with us that that was stupid.
Yeah.We take Axl in a heartbeat as running back. the lineup.Go ahead.Put the, put the jacket on Eddie Murphy.
What was the fake punt today?Where it's terrible.A play that seems like it should work all the time where the punter, he's just got a wide receiver one-on-one on the side with a D back.
Who's going to be blocking the gunner has no idea of pass plays coming in yet the guy threw it in the play, had no chance whatsoever.
And listen, I've watched three hours of a quarterback throwing to unopened receivers, so I was used to that.But shouldn't that play be, if you're gonna fool somebody, isn't it easier to throw to the tight end?
Shouldn't they have a tight end release over the middle, six yards, instead of a guy who hasn't thrown in a professional game in forever? going all the way across field.
Yeah.Or like the, or the up back, like the saints ran a fake punt today and it was, it was just like they snapped it directly to the big fullback Burley guy who just like ran for eight yards.I'm off for fake punts.
Let's take one more break for the pod. This episode is brought to you by SimpliSafe.It is football season, which means the holidays are coming up, and actually SimpliSafe is already having a Black Friday sale.
So if you're worried about the safety of your home and family, now is the time to get home security.I personally like to use SimpliSafe because they can stop intruders before they break into your home.That's kind of the goal.
I think they take home security to the next level.They're active guard, outdoor protection.It's not an old school system. They only take action when somebody is already in your house.No, that's not simply safe.
They take action before somebody gets in your house.There's no long-term contracts, no cancellation fees.It's around $1 a day and it gives me peace of mind and helps me and my family feel protected.
So take advantage of this Black Friday sale, this week only, right now.You can take 60% off any new system with a select professional monitoring plan. head to simplysafe.com slash BS to claim your discount and make sure your home is safe this season.
Keep your home, your family, and your peace of mind protected with SimpliSafe.Again, go to simplisafe.com slash BS.That is SimpliSafe with two I's.There's no safe like SimpliSafe. This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra.
The NBA is back, and you know what that means.So is Michelob Ultra Courtside.It gets fans closer to the game, the stories, the players, the celebrations, and it's a pretty damn good beer.
Stock up your fridge with Michelob Ultra and be ready for the big plays all season long.Learn how to get closer to the action by visiting michelobultra.com slash courtside.
Michelob Ultra, Superior Access, Courtside, 2425, sweepstakes, no purchase necessary, open to U.S.residents, 21 plus, begins on 10-1-24, goes through 7-1-25.
Visit michelobultra.com slash courtside for free entry, entry deadlines, and official rules, void where prohibited.Okay, only other things to mention.
The Chargers-Browns game today, I don't know how much you caught of that, but the Browns ran 76 plays and the Chargers ran 56.The Browns had 21 first downs, the Chargers had 13.
The Browns had multiple times they were like inside the 10 and just bad shit happened for them.And yet I still felt like the Chargers kind of handled their bit.I was never worried about that game.It was 13-3, 20-3, they were always in control.
The thing that jumped out today was, And I don't know if the stats totally reflect it, but Herbert was just, Herbert really seems like he's blossoming.
Now the nerds would say he's always been this way, just the team's better, but you look at the receivers, like everyone's worried about these receivers they had, and the offensive line's been a little up and down, but he just, I just thought he was really good in that game today.
They're good, their offense is decent.I just, I feel like we are used to them scoring 44 points and losing, you know, with all the terrible coaches they've had.And now they're in the 20s and winning.Like, oh, that's not, that's boring.
Let's go back to the old team where they'd score, you know, 50.And we'd laugh at them because they crapped out on the last possession.But yeah, Joshua Palmer's fine.And I just, they had the-.
Johnston, remember, they thought Johnston was a bust.He's definitely not a bust.He makes plays every week.
And Dobbins runs the ball, and they play defense.They're in on everything.I don't know, we've looked at it.Didn't we text each other this week?They were minus 150 to make the playoffs.I think they're there by default.
I think now that we could wrap the Colts up pretty much, now you're looking at four AFC North teams pretty much have to make it in order for the Chargers to not make it.
So right now they're minus 3.10.So those, I'm Fando.So those odds jump.
Tremendously.Thanks to Fando, by the way, for giving us our own little ringer specialist page.Yeah, that was nice.I hope people made money.You were prominently mentioned.I was thinking about how proud you were.I really am.
22 years ago, if I had said to you, you're going to be on, there's this thing called a gambling app.
when we were working together on Kimmel Show in the office, like 22 years from now, we'll have this whole page of bets that we came up with, and it's gonna be on the site.
People are gonna point to me, and they're gonna say, well, why aren't you upset?Our candidate didn't win.I'm like, why?Because I'm featured on the frickin' fan bull site.That's why.I don't care about the next four years.
I don't care about week 10.
The Jaguars are plus 630 to make the playoffs. The Colts are still plus 146.Oh, wow.
Now, we didn't really talk about that game, the piece of benching Richardson, which we predicted last week on the pod because he was awful last week and bring in Flacco as like this sacrificial lamb against the
Minnesota defense and he literally got involved by the way you think the league said hey, we're flexing Jacksonville Philly out Which turned out to be a mistake I think for each of the Colts and do you think they like you got it?
You got to sit Richardson.
We the nation's needs to see fly I think it would have been more fun if Richardson played his way more erratic I think they made a huge mistake flexing out Jacksonville, Philly, from a comedy standpoint.
Like what would have been more fun than Collinsworth with that game?Hey Mike, I just saw a trip with Lawrence sometimes.I just, this guy can wing it, Mike.
He can wing it.And coach Middleseed, we have yet to see the Indianapolis special, but you know it's coming, Mike.
Denver is plus 210 to make the playoffs.
And then Cincinnati is just even odds every week to make the playoffs.It never changes.They're four and five quietly is on pace for 40 touchdown passes.I don't know if you noticed that.And like 4,500 yards passing.
Yeah.He still looks bored.He still looks like he's going through the motions.Right.
Chase wasn't even really involved.Yeah.That was a good, good outing for them.
He's just waiting for T Higgins to come back. And then, uh, we had the bills sneak by Miami, which we didn't talk about where to, uh, had a couple of scrambles that were just plain terrifying.
It's not terrible when he's scrambling.It's now. Like when you have an 18-month-old kid watching them run toward a wide open front door or something, it's the same kind of, oh no, oh God.You did not.
When you're watching, you're a Dolphins fan, you gotta be on a swivel chair, you gotta be on the voice, because you have to be able to turn, I guess you can just cover your face.
Yeah, you really just have to do a 180 and spin backwards. Yeah, we're approaching Harlem Globetrotters, Washington General's territory with the Bills Dolphins.I mean, Allen's 8-1 against Tua, 13-2.They are with Allen against Miami.
They're 8-0 in Buffalo.It's kind of gross.
It had the feeling of like, this game might be rigged in the first half. Cause I know like everybody had Buffalo and a tease and money on Buffalo.And there was one, Alan had this touchdown run of like 20 plus yards.
And they're like, ah, flag on the play.It was a holding against Buffalo.And then they're like, there's the hold right there.They showed the replay.There's no hold.And the announcer's like, they did the thing where they go. I didn't see it.
You know, you can hear somebody in there like, just keep moving, keep moving.Don't mention the hold again.But it was like super shady.But there was a couple of moments like that in the first half where I was like, ah, did they rig this for Miami?
But then Buffalo won anyway.
Well, Coleman might've rigged it because he had an easy touchdown on that slant play that went in interception.
Yeah.So Miami with two wins. Really nuts.Just a couple of things I wrote down.I have no idea what a catch is anymore.Garrett Wilson's touchdown Thursday night.I would have bet my life that that wasn't a touchdown.Then there, no, no, his shin was in.
I was like, all right, I give up because I don't know.Then we had another one today.What was the one today with the guy had his feet in or his, in the back of the end zone, what game was that?
He had two, but the knee didn't, I think I know what you're talking about.
The knee wasn't out, he was left to right.
You know what I'm talking about.The knee was barely in, yeah.But it is kind of stupid that like that little ball on the end of your ankle can count as a point, but you have to get two feet down otherwise.But we're seeing some great catches.
I think we should appreciate the athleticism, just spectacular.
The one-handed end, the Rams game was fucking nuts with Robinson.
It was really like he thought, all right, this is not going to count unless I catch it with one hand, so I'm not even going to use the other one to get free.Really great.
Jameis crossed the 100 interception mark.I just want to congratulate him.Oh, he did.He said 102.Yeah.
Nice.You know, he's so great in the interviews.They should have presented him with a cake afterwards.What would he have done?Crab leg cake.Have at it.
I wonder, I mean, he'd be a really good announcer after he retires.I don't know if he'll actually get hired to be an announcer.Another thing I wrote down, I think we've just run out of fourth down plays.
they don't seem to work anymore, and the two yards and in, every variation, and everybody's trying to basically do the next level of what you think the play is that they're gonna run.
The Eagles, they don't use Saquon Barkley around the goal line, for reasons that remain unclear, because I actually think he's pretty good around the goal line.
He's small and strong, and should be able to dive two yards, but we just see all these weird reverses.Denver ran a Philly special today that actually worked, where Drake may have had to catch the ball in traffic,
It's like whatever happened in just like lining up and blowing a team and having like your big Mike Allstott type guy just ramming it to the line and scoring.Are those days gone?
Yeah, C.D.Lamb had it in the round, which I think he was officially tackled before he was even handed the ball.So that was weird.But you're right, like Jonathan Taylor just a half hour ago wasn't in the package on fourth and two.Yeah.
You got to at least pretend, right?I don't get it.
And then, uh, I thought Brady was just bad today.
That Lions Packers, which I thought was a really good game.And I found myself, uh, I just really wanted better announcers for it. He just doesn't tell me enough.
And, you know, he, he was talking about the weather and sometimes it's hard to catch a pass, but, uh, I did, I just felt like what was going on with love, like Brady's obviously played hurt.
I really wanted, that would have been the perfect Romo would have dove into that and be like, I can tell loves her.And here's why watch this throw, watch this plant leg, like just teach me something.Brady's not teaching us anything.
I feel like he's getting advised in the wrong way.I think he's over preparing for these and in those, you know, Friday they interview each coach and everything.
And I think he's overemphasizing what's going on there where he should just sit back and do what you're saying.That's what we want to hear.You're the quarterback, you're the general of the field, you know.
He should do a blind game and not even know who's on either team and just fucking watch the game and tell us what he sees.See, I don't think he's doing that at all.See, now it's going to be sports blog post, Simmons and Sal eviscerate Tom Brady.
I'm not like, I think he's being poorly produced is where I've landed because I think whatever they're telling him to do, it's not working. I don't feel like I'm watching the game with him.He comes in the beginning.
He's got this like fake energy where he's going, Oh, I'm so excited for this one, Kevin.And it's just like, I, none of it feels genuine to me.
And then on top of it, he owns a piece of the Vegas and it feels like he can't be as critical maybe as he wants to be in certain spots.But I thought that game today, I wanted him to dive into golf. Like, what did you see with Goff?
You went against him in a Super Bowl.How has he evolved over the last six years?This guy's like one of the greatest resources in football that we have, and they don't tap into any of it.
And he's been, it's not even that he's so accomplished as a player.We've heard him in interviews.We know he could do exactly what you want him to do there, right?We know he can analyze from that perspective, so that's why it falls short.
Well, and also, we're watching all these other games, and he's getting dusted by other announcers.
And they're just like you, like Romo doing the other game today, like he's just, he was doing the Baltimore game, he's just way better.
Greg Olson gives us a better quarterback's perspective than Brady does, the tight end, you know.
Yeah, I know it's in there and I just, they have not unlocked it and I think they really have to figure it out.And he seems super over-prepared to me. And just like he's- Is it a one and done?You think he could be out?I don't think he's good at it.
Yeah.And then now we've had nine weeks and I feel like he's gotten worse than he was four or five weeks ago.Now he's gotten like too many notes.
But it's when we get to the playoffs and this is like there's only one game on, it's going to be pretty glaring when we're watching all these other playoff games and these guys are doing
You know, he's competing against people that are watching games that instantly can be like, oh, watch this, watch this over here.And when he has a good point, he's so excited to tell you the point because he's like, oh, I know this is good.
And it's almost like he's none of it feels natural to me.
It's like hitting a buzzer is a game playing a game show.
I got one about that Sam Laporta pass.It's just it's just everything about it feels off and and not genuine to me.
Yeah, I mean, we had the first couple weeks where he didn't say a word.He wasn't filling the dead space, and that was rough.And then I think he had two or three where he was getting the hang of it, and you got excited, and now you're right.
Now he's like just super, super hyper tense about every play.
It's weird.It's been great for Aikman, it's been great for Collinsworth, it's been great for Romo, because he's not even remotely on the level of those dudes.
Are you done eviscerating?It's gotta be more eviscerating.Was that an evisceration or an obliteration?Oh my God.
It was an obliteration, I think.How about this?Who are the people watching these games going, Brady was awesome? Oh my God, I learned so much from Brady.He's just not doing a good enough job.
I really think they need to hit the reset button, clear the cache, start over, and just be like, we overloaded you with too much stuff.Let's get back to the basics.Just watch the game with Burkhart, tell us what you see.
Come into the game with five, six little things that you know you wanna hit.Like Jared Goff, I played against him.Boom, boom, boom.Jordan Love, he's hurt. I had a strain groin in 2013.Here's what I learned.
I learned that I had to get rid of the ball fat.That's the kind of shit we want.And they're not giving us any of it.
You know what?I just had a good idea.And I don't think they'll do this, but they should replace Brady and Fox should pay Deshaun Watson $350 million.
But then you hear the quarterback's perspective from one that sucked, couldn't get out of his own way for the last two and a half years or more.Just paying that money off, people go apeshit.
I thought you were going another direction.As you know, I hate the three-man booth, but I actually think he needs the three-man booth.I think he needs like a curious third person who can kind of set him up.
I always felt like Kornheiser, when he did Monday Night Football and it didn't work out, but the potential of it was a curious person in the booth.He was like asking Jaws questions, right?And Tariqo hated it, which is why it didn't work.
You know what?Try one week with Gronk in there.They can make fun of each other and maybe they'll just be more natural.
I would actually do Edelman. I think if you put Edelman in there, he needs something to loosen himself up.But they're not going to do it because they don't want to admit defeat and he's hosting the Super Bowl and they're paying him this crazy number.
It's just not good.That was a really cool game today that needed better announcers.Okay, guess the lines.Ravens-Bengals.What's the record, by the way?
I'm 5-3-1 year ahead, heading into week 10, but I'd be shocked.I put myself as a plus 1,400 today.
Ravens at Cincinnati is the Thursday night game.And that's awesome.
No, it's the other way, right?Cincy at Baltimore.
Oh, did I write that down wrong?
Yeah, they already played in Cincinnati.It was 41-38.Yeah, my bad. All right, so I get that one.I'm up on nothing.
Good.That's an automatic forfeit?I don't know why I capitalized the Bengals.Well, this is an awesome Thursday night game.
Dare I say, must watch.And I said this to Kyle today, and I've said this probably five of the nine weeks we've done a pod, but Lamar, Lamar on the multi-view is still the MVP by far.
I don't know if he's gonna win the MVP of the league, but he's so much fucking fun.We made the mistake 17-10 in that Bengals game, I mean the Broncos game, which I changed, I took them off the four,
not realizing that, of course, Lamar was gonna figure out how to score like a 60-yard touchdown in the last 30 seconds of the game.What was I thinking?
What was I thinking?I was glued to it at 41-10, because I needed Denver to win the fourth quarter.I was like, I'm so smart.Baltimore's given up 82 points in the fourth quarter in the last six weeks.
I'm betting Denver blindly, and they went on fourth and goal from the seventh twice, and they couldn't make it.
Well, I finally, I send in the 13 point tees to you guys, and I finally lost it.One of the legs was the Broncos plus 22, and it was the first loss I've had all year.Even so, you had a shot.You had a little bit of a shot.I did.Bo Nix had other ideas.
All right, so if it's Ravens, I'm gonna forfeit my pick for this, because I had the wrong team.
No, it's okay, just guess it.I was actually somewhat close on this, but go ahead.
Well, I would say Ravens by six.
All right, now you get it.I said 5 1⁄2, it's 6 1⁄2.That's a terrible way for me to lose that one.But yeah, 6 1⁄2 Baltimore.
I'm happy to forfeit that one.
Nah, it's not gonna matter.I promise it's not.Okay.I was so off.
That's probably too many points, right?I feel like the Bengals will be completely unafraid to go into Baltimore.
I'm just trying to think what their... Trying to think if they'll ever have any chance of stopping Derrick Henry.
Well, I mean, there's that, right?
Yeah.On a Thursday night, four days after they just played?I kind of don't trust either defense.And there was 79 points scored in the first game.And I almost think the defense has got a little bit worse since then.
Well, I have a new category.I've never done this before for the next one.
We've had the poop FECTA.We've never had a poop FECTA game in Germany as bad as this.So I looked up the German word for poop.Oh, good.And it's kake.This is the kake FECTA game.C-A, I'm sorry, K-A-C-K-E FECTA.It's the kake FECTA.Giants, Panthers.
Yeah.An outright travesty that can only take place in the Vegas zone.And I went Giants by four and a half.
Yeah, you get it.I said four and it's five and a half.They can't make it big enough.I'm still surprised at this.
Sal, I gotta be honest, might not get up for this one.I was just gonna ask you, what time you up for it? Probably a halftime and somebody will be up 17-0 and I'm not sure which team.
Do you have any fantasy players?Because games are consumed differently now, right?
Any fantasy players.None of the Giants.Definitely none of the Panthers.So, none.None across the board.
Can I read you something?You played our friend Brad in fantasy.He sent me a note. how bad my team is?Well, I mean, you decide how you wanna take this.He says, Simmons, good dude, excellent friend, wonderful father, dog shit at fantasy football.
How can he say that?And he says, I'm great at, did you tell him how great I am in the other league?All of these descriptions are very much understatements, he writes.Sorry, have a talk with him.
I spent $120 on Garrett Wilson, Cooper Cup, and DJ Moore.DJ Moore had the opposite of a breakout year.3.3 points today.
Yeah, he had like a measles breakout, basically.
Travis Etienne for $36, another mistake.Yeah, not great.Sometimes it's not your year in fantasy.I mean, Brad did take nine running backs.
Yeah, I know.He was making fun of you.I had to stop him because he was talking about how many quarterbacks you took.I was like, wait, slow down.
You got a lot of running backs.The problem is all my quarterbacks suck.Dak, who left the game early today.I mean, how did I get 13 points out of Dak against the Falcons?That should have been like a 30 point game.
I don't know, man.I don't know.I can't stand it.Sunday Marquee.
So initially when I wrote all these down on Thursday, I had Eagles Cowboys as the Sunday Marquee.
I'm going to keep it there, but I don't think it's the Marquee game. But it's probably the most interesting game because it might be a different coach for you guys.You might have a new coach after the game.
You have the Eagles who are just an unintentional comedy all over the place every game.And I'm gonna say Eagles by three in Dallas.Oh, wow.I said four and a half.It's six and a half.Yeah, we're pretty bad.
Wow, you're six and a half point underdogs at home.At home, yeah.
Yeah.Wow.Well, I don't know, I mean, CeeDee Lamb has like this shoulder contusion, right?Dak, I mean, I could just see these guys bailing, right?We could have a Cooper Rush game here.
I wish Cooper Rush had been a little better when he came in.
Yeah.Maybe he stepped up.
Oh, could have a quarterback controversy.Those words were not uttered during the Cooper Rush half hour that he played.
No, take the Cowboys plus 12 and a half.They'll cover that.Take them on a teaser.
Definitely 100% not putting them in anything.
I do want to give you credit though for your Thursday teaser.Like this is the way to play a teaser, right?Like the Jets were a one and a half point favorite.Ridiculous.They went to two and a half and you're like, oh, I'm over the touchdown.
You took the Texans plus eight and a half, right?Beautiful.A little lucky at the end, but that's the way to do it.A little lucky.
You know what I found out?7.5 used to be the number for me, but now, like I lost on the Colts today at 7.5.I think it has to get to 8.5 on these teases when you're going the other way now.The 7.5 isn't good enough.
There's 28 20s all over the place, I feel like.
Watchables, I got four.First one is Bills at Indianapolis.For a couple reasons.Bills, I think, have just been a really fun multi-view team all year. Colts, I don't know who the quarterback's gonna be.They just go back to Richland next week.
What do they do?It's also like, if the Colts lose this game, their season's probably over, I'm guessing.And I feel like these teams play good games.So, Bills at Colts.
I think it's Flacco.I think it's Flacco again.I'm gonna say Bills by three.Did I get this?Oh, we split it.I said six.It's four and a half.
Oh, Vegas then. So the Bills, are we just, the whole year I'm just never gonna feel that great about them, and they're gonna go like 15 and two?Yeah, I think so.Okay.
I don't know.Do you watch them and go, oh man, look out for these guys?No, I don't, but I'll tell you what just resonates with me, the way they, if they ever have to win, they just get it done, the way they won the last five last year.
Right, if they need three points, they'll get the three points, yeah.
Or if they need to put together a streak.So they're over on their wins is 12 and a half. I still like it over, it's a plus 142, I still like it over.Is that on Fando?Yeah, I'm seeing, they only have like nine teams listed.
So they'd have to go 13 and four.The problem is they're gonna have the division clinched and probably the two seed with like two weeks to go, right?
So they'd have to go six and two. Yeah, but the one seed won't be clinched though, right?
KC's getting the one seed.KC's gonna go 16-1 or 15-2, right?
They play KC, 49ers, Rams.Actually, they do have a tough slate.They end twice in three weeks against the Patriots.
Chiefs are home for the Broncos.I floated this out a couple weeks ago.
and I think it's official after the Baltimore game.I think Denver is the good-bad team in either conference.I think they're officially 2024's good-bad team.They play the other bad teams, they're gonna win.
You raise the level of competition on them, they're losing.
That's the Denver Broncos.I thought you were saying bad-good team, but you're right.Yeah, they're the good-bad team.Who else could it be?Who's in contention for that title?
I mean, you could say anyone in the NFC South.
Well, Arizona's had a couple good wins, though.
Yeah, they're very close games.Their margin of victory, except for today, is in those games, very low.
No shots fired at our friends from Washington, and I couldn't be happier for them, but I wouldn't rule out Washington for the good-bad team either.
Well, it's funny, you asked me, did the Hail Mary kill the Bears, just eviscerate them, I think is the word you used, but I feel like the Hail Mary
and they won today, so it's a little less of a great point, but I feel like it didn't give them momentum.That game showed me that they've leveled off, right?Washington, they're not the team that punted twice in three weeks, right?
So they're gonna have to pull one out and a close one against the Giants every week.So maybe they're the good, bad.
Niners Bucks in Tampa.And I really had trouble with this one. Cause I think Vegas is going to respect the Niners a little more than maybe they deserve.So I'm going to say Niners by three and a half at Tampa.
That's exactly what I said.And we were a whole field goal off, six and a half.Oh my God.
So they're just jacking these lines now.
Yeah, they are.So now you have that in mind.Well, McCaffrey's coming back, right?And Tampa's on a short week.
I don't, do you, would you bet your life McCaffrey's coming back?
No, I don't know.I just kept hearing.I don't trust that. Right, but they had the buy, and now Tampa's on a short week, and they still don't have those receivers.I guess we'll know better tomorrow.
The last one might be, this was the other choice for the marquee game, and probably should have been the marquee game, since the records are so good, but we put your stupid team there.Jacksonville home.No, Washington at home for the Steelers.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a solid game.I'm going to say Washington by two and a half.Wow, you nailed that.
I said Pittsburgh by one.Tell me why they're a favor, Washington.If you did power rankings for these teams, wouldn't Pittsburgh be ahead of them?
It's the offense on Pittsburgh.I still don't think people trust it on the road.
That'll be it.So you think like these two teams are probably even and maybe a slight edge to Washington because they can score more points would be my guess.
I think this would be a team that Washington would have trouble moving the ball on, right, more than anybody.
I'll tell you, two and a half, that becomes a tease candidate pretty quickly.
Yeah.Right?Yeah, for sure.Well, they have seven point teasers, if you want.
Let's take a break for the podcast. This episode is brought to you by Uber Eats.It's football season and Uber Eats is dropping undefeated deals on all your game day favorites.
This week's score, buy one, get one free Crunchwrap Supremes from Taco Bell, only on Uber Eats.And if you're craving even more, we've got you covered with game day and deals on pizza, burgers, tacos, and more. All season long.
Uber Eats, official on-demand food delivery partner of the NFL.Order Taco Bell for game day now through 11-17-24.Second item of equal or lesser value.Terms apply.See app for details.This episode is brought to you by Paramount Network.
Sunday, November 10th is the epic return to Yellowstone and it's only on Paramount Network. One of my favorite networks, by the way.What will become of the Dutton family?Can they save the Yellowstone Ranch?
How far will Beth and Rip go to protect the family legacy?I bet they'll go far.Generations of blood have led to this.
Nothing will prepare you for this must-see premiere event, the epic return of Yellowstone, Sunday, November 10th at eight, seven central on Paramount Network.All right, we're at the fairly watchables.Vikings, Jaguars in Jacksonville.
Will Coach Middlesy be at this game?
Yeah.Yeah, he will.Great.I think that guy just goes a lot longer than he's supposed to.He's the guy that we might still be making fun of next year.
I think that's the, I think Belichick is either Jacksonville or Vegas.I don't think he'd mess with your team, because your team's a losing hand.
Belichick is having fun, man.He's not into this coaching thing anymore.He's become like Jim Carrey.He's dressing up funny.He's like a physical comedian.He's posing with his mermaid girlfriend for Halloween.He's loving it.
This is a year-long plan by Bill Belichick to prove that he's not like the grumpy curmudgeon that couldn't take over your football team, because that's probably why he didn't get a job, because Kraft was badmouthing him.
And it's like, this guy's a pain in the ass.He sucks to be around.This has been Belichick proving that there's actually a personality there, which is what everybody who knows him has said.
So you think the next interview, he pulls up that picture, the mermaid girlfriend?He's like, ah, this isn't me.
I think he's gonna keep, on Thanksgiving, I think he's gonna be wearing an apron, going on Chang Show, making turkey with Chang.He's on a quest to prove that there's a personality there.
Wow.I like it.All right.I don't like it.I liked it better when he was a stiff and I could make fun of him.
Vikings at Jags.I have Vikings by two and a half.
I get this one.I said four and it is four and a half square in the Vegas.
So that's if you're betting on Sam Darnold in Florida laying points on the road, good luck.Good luck.We just shit on Jacksonville for like an hour and a half.I'm not there.Anyone who bets on this game is a lunatic.I'm with you.
Are you worried about Rahim by the way? Yeah, always.Yeah.Well, I mean, we're always worried about Rahim, but Rahim did well this week and he, you know, he starts tweeting how his wins and his demeanor and the text changes.I always get nervous.
It's like watching the first 30 minutes of a movie where the main character's doing really well and you're like, oh no, slow down, dude.
He's gonna move to Vegas, so yes, this is a whole different thing.
Well, he lived in Vegas last year.
No, I know.I think he said he made a mistake of ever moving away from it.I mean, he could probably just on comps live there for like two and a half years. Did he win character of the year for you?
I don't know what would have to happen in the next two months, right?He's just got a massive lead.Yeah.So Rudy would have to rack up like 14 DUIs in the next eight weeks.
Otherwise, I remember when you, when you were coming back to the, to the, uh, to the ringer to do all this stuff with us.And I was like, I can't wait to bring Rahim into your life.This is like one of the great gifts I've ever given you.
And it's exceeded all expectations.
It's so good.It's a beautiful gift.
Do you think he's in a sports book right now betting on like cricket in Argentina?
I congratulated him, like, look at you.I mean, you're in Vegas, you probably woke up 14 minutes ago and you're hitting us with 35 trends and stats that no one's ever heard of.God bless you.And he can't wait to get out of that seat and do it again.
We need like a ringer award ceremony where we can give him some sort of award.Just an epic performance by him.But yeah, he's on a little bit of a tear. Speaking of tears, the Cardinals home in Arizona playing the New York Jets.
We did not talk about this game, the stupid game the Jets won on Halloween night with a Texans team that You know, just didn't have enough horses.I don't ever want C.J.
Stroud.C.J.Stroud, I don't like when he has bad games, you know, or subpar games.You know, I'm like, no, I want that guy to be good every single time.But if you look at him on the road, and he got killed by the Jets last year.Yeah, it's weird.
That whole game flipped on that crazy Wilson touchdown.I feel like the Jets were going to lose the game and then all of a sudden they were winning and it was very strange.Cards, home for the Jets, and I'm going to say Cardinals by two and a half.
All right, so you gotta talk me through this one too.I said Jets by two, but you're right, it's the Cardinals by one and a half.So we're fully in.Jets aren't good.But the Jets were favored, so why were they favored against the Texans then?
That's what I'm asking.Thursday night game.Only one receiver for the Texans.Texans offensive line is banged up.I don't know, man.
I don't get this gambling thing.Maybe I never did.
Poopfecta. Bears are home for the Patriots.
And you know what?It's officially, would you rather have Drake May or Kayla Williams week?And I know where I stand.Uh-oh.And I know where I stand.Don't say anything you're going to regret.I stand with Drake May.Oh, wow.You know who else does?Kyle.
Kyle, who would you rather have?Say it, Kyle. That's a loaded question.
We love Drake May.Listen, everyone's happy with their quarterback, but we love Drake May.Good, you should.And if they beat the Bears this week, I would be excited.
I think 10 football fan bases are happy with their quarterback.I know, it might be a record.I know.
Even the Vikings are like, hey, we got JJ McCarthy next year.Right. The Raiders are going, well, we're not in that group.I have the Bears favored by five and a half over the Patriots.Oh, you edged me out, all right.
I said five, it's six and a half.Five, seven, you're up seven to four.
I really needed that one.It's a field goal game.
Yeah.Falcons at the Saints.
I can't imagine this not being in the Vegas zone, so I'm gonna say Falcons by four and a half.
I get this, I said three and a half, it's only three.Wait, let me see if they updated it, if it's anything different.Yeah, only three.Three point favorite, they played week four when New Orleans was a real team still, 26-24 final.
I'll tell you this, if Dennis Allen gets fired and we get a new Saints coach, I'll be taking the Saints for a million dollar picks on Thursday.Oh really?Because you know I love the new coach theory.
You don't even know, sight unseen.
You don't know who the coach is.It could be anybody.It could be Zion Williamson as the new coach.I'm taking this seriously.Interesting.Sight unseen.Blind.It's like when you do the blind soup.It's like soup du jour on Postmates.In.Good.Taking it.
Chargers at the Titans.I'm sorry, Chargers home for the Titans.And I think this line has to be Chargers by seven. Man, you beat me by the half point.
I said six and a half, and it's eight and a half.You get it.That's a tease.Titan's defense isn't bad.We trust the Chargers.Isn't it something?We trust the Chargers to tease them now?They're a good coach.I guess we do, yeah.
Good coach and a good QB solves a lot of issues.Titan's defense is like top three in a lot of the metrics.It's very weird, yeah.
Somehow, even though they gave up 52 points to Buffalo, but even in that one, the metrics for the defense is pretty good.Sunday night, Lions, Texans, and it's gonna be in Houston, Texas, in a dome.Well, you missed one, I think.What did I miss?
Denver KC.Did we do Denver KC?I literally missed, oh, I had that in the watchables.Fuck, I just skipped over it.That is a watchable.I'll put it in the fairly watchable. I have Chiefs home against the Broncos.I have the Chiefs by nine.
No, of course you win this one.I should've let you forget it.
I said eight, it's nine and a half.
It just feels like the Chiefs are, they're just making it nine, nine and a half now, because they don't want you to tease the Chiefs.Even this game tomorrow night has been between eight and a half and nine constantly.
Yeah.Well, Denver, that's gonna be a tough defense for Knicks to look good in the first three quarters, I think.
I'll tell you this though, they were in that game today against Baltimore for almost the entire first half.Knicks missed a wide open guy for a touchdown on I think the first or second drive.
He had a guy in the fourth and two and the play worked and it was there and he missed it.It was a 30 yard touchdown.Then he missed another guy for a touchdown but it didn't matter because they ended up scoring anyway.
But it was gonna be 17, 10 at halftime if they just get off the field. and they were hanging around, and then that touchdown ended the game.It was 24, you're not winning after that.24-10 with Bo Nix, it's a wrap.But 17-10, they were hanging around.
No, that was a game they had to make the most of every opportunity.Yeah.
Sunday Night Lions at Houston, and I have Lions by three.
Wow, you set a record for nudging me by half a point of my guess.I said two and a half, it's three and a half. That's fair, too.
I wonder where that lands, because we're not, there won't be Niko Collins, I don't think.Diggs is out for the year.Right.There's going to be a lot of Lions talk about how they're clearly the best team now in the NFC, and are we getting Lions Chiefs?
I have a lot of Lions Chiefs stuff for the futures.
Yeah, I have Lions bills.That's what I'm on.
Like, Lions Chiefs was 36 to 1. in August, because I bet it when I was in Boston on FanDuel.
Looking real good.I think the Lions are better, and I think this is a fair line.But you think it'll settle at three?
Nah, I think it goes to four.I think they're going to make people, going to force people to bet Houston.
Pretty good rest advantage, and plus, this is the second road game for the Lions in a row.
Monday night, Rams-Dolphins.It's in LA.Maybe we just go to this.
Oh yeah, Monday.We don't have no competing game here.Do we just go to this?Oh, I don't think we can.The trailblazers are playing the Hawks.You're going to want to watch that.
Oh shit.All right.I'll look at the NBA schedule.
I might go to this.We could go to this.Why not?
It'd be nice if the Rams, they should roll out the Ram carpet for us.Veterans Day?I went to the Clippers game yesterday.Oh, tell me.First one, the arena.I'll guess the lines first.
Rams, I'm gonna say Rams home, Rams by four and a half over the Dolphins.
Oh, I'm glad I won the last one.I said three and it's two and a half.
Ooh, wow.They don't believe.Are they thinking there's gonna be a lot of Dolphins fans?
Well, they'll be right about that, but doesn't mean they're gonna play well.All right, so I won the week.Good for you, 10 to six, and you're up six, three to one.
So, New Clipper Arena.Yeah.They did a great job.They built it for basketball, which you knew. So it doesn't have to be kind of wide on the sides, which you have to do for hockey.So it's very much like the Indiana arena.So the corner seats are good.
Everything feels like tight.It feels like compact.It feels like the fans are almost on top of each other in a good way.Leg room in the seats. Just the moving around, it's just like a state of the art arena.
And then they have this whole video screen that goes all the way around.The suites are higher.They have these bunker suites.They just, everything they did a great job in.What's interesting though is, Ballmer didn't want the food to be that good.
So in the clubs and even in the, the food upstairs, like he has this whole thing.He wants people in their seats.So the food's like fine, but not great because he doesn't want people to be, there's no TVs.
Like when you walk around in the concourse, the games aren't on all different TVs.He doesn't want people wants them in their seats, cheering for the Clippers.And it's noticeable when you're there.
Everything is built toward like, get back to your seat, get back to your seat.That's where the action are.There's a, you can plug in on your phone.You can bring a, a cord and plug in and, um, they just want you in your seat.
Yeah.It's like the, the hotels purposely give you a shitty buffet, right?Cause they want you out there.They want to get you like a 26 inch TV in your room because they want you on the floor.Gamble.Yeah.That's good.So that's, that's a plus or a minus.
I thought the food would be a little better, but I honestly don't care, because I'm going for the basketball.The team's bad.It's built around James Harden, which is a problem when you're playing Oklahoma City and they have 17 guys to throw at him.
Second scorer is Norm Powell, and then after that, you're keeping your fingers crossed.So I don't, they're gonna be like a 35 win team, probably worse.But the arena's cool. And it would have been nice if they had a good team.
And I don't know when the next time they're gonna have a good team is, because they have no drive.
Well, they're saving a lot of money on food, so they'll be able to refuel.
They have the chicken fingers.The drive wasn't that bad.It's closer for you, I think.
It's probably 35 minutes for me.Getting home was a little bit easier.Parking was not as easy as I thought it was going to be.Really?
I thought people said you could park like anywhere, like you can park a sofa.
It's easier, but it's not, you know, it's not as seamless as I thought.
I also wasn't going when there was nine other events.So that was the other piece of it.
I was trying to remember a Clippers Saturday night game, because they would never, the Lakers always got the Saturday night games, or all the good, you didn't even have that many Clippers Saturday night games.
But yeah, thumbs up, they did a great job.I like that we're in this new era of arenas that they actually put real thought into, where it's like, oh, if I'm in the corner, it's actually a good seed, because I'm facing the court in the right direction.
And the t-shirt stuff is fun too, like coming out of the scoreboard and the... Yeah, that was alright.
Yeah.It was alright.A couple fans were pretty bummed about the team though.I mean, Kawhi's... They should probably... I know Kawhi probably feels like he has to go.But it's kind of a bummer to see him.Mm-hmm.Because it's like...
this is kind of the reason this team sucks, is because they went all in on your extension and traded all this shit for you and Paul George, and now Paul George is gone, and you're just kind of here as this Grim Reaper shadow to remind everybody that you're not playing anymore.
So far it's kind of a bummer.
Does Balmer know that people get bummed out seeing him?Because maybe he puts TVs at the concourse, otherwise.
Netflix or something.The TVs in the concourse should just show Kawhi highlights from like seven years ago.
What do you have for Parent Corner?
All right, so it was Halloween, as you know, this past week, and so my kid's 10, turning 11, and so everybody comes here, the whole family comes here, a bunch of kids, so now it's like 10 kids, and we walk over to what's called the walk streets, where there's no drive-through traffic, so it's just streets where everybody is given candy, one house after another, and you usually hit two streets, and it takes about an hour.
is a million kids there.There's a ton of kids there.And it's great, but terrible at the same time.Because first of all, you run the risk of losing the kids you're with.
And my cousin, Mickey, used to make them all wear lit up balloons on their wrists.And then they're walking around with balloons in addition to their costume.But then they revolted.So she
She now is dressed like the Statue of Liberty, but all lit up and puts her arm up in the middle of the place to let everybody know where she is.And she leads the pack.But anyway, the whole night is me.
First of all, I have my phone, I have Amazon, I'm watching the game, the football game, because I have money.That's a good game. Good game.I bet again, I bet both quarterbacks to throw an interception, figuring one would.Neither of them did.
50 passes that could have been intercepted.All right.So I'm screaming.I'm screaming in my phone and screaming at my kid for not saying thank you over and over when someone gives him candy.So a couple of things.Inflatable costumes. Terrible.
My kid went as a capybara.You know what that is?It's like a weird, some kind of weird animal in Texas.He went as an inflated capybara and electric bikes.And they fill the street.
I'm like, what are these people doing with electric bikes between that and the costumes?I was like, I'm ripping what's left of my hair out.I got to get out of there.
So people are trick-or-treating with electric bikes?Yeah.And just going from house to house because they didn't want to walk?Yeah.
These electric bikes, are they big by you?It's disgusting.Oh, yeah. Yeah, you can't go anywhere.So between that and the inflated cost.So anyway, we're back.
There's no real story to this other than that they come back and the kids are all trading candy, and they're trading and eating candy at 10.30 at night.And like people say, oh, the next day should be off for Halloween.You know, kids should be off.
I don't think so, because I don't want to have to deal with these kids, but it is really awful what we do to teachers, sending these little dirtbags to school They're, you know, 25 Reese's Peanut Butter Cups in.
And so, I don't know, I just want to apologize to teachers for Friday, sending these kids to you.I know they're jacked up on sugar or they're just done, right?
Or they're coming down.Right, exactly.
It's like coming off drugs. Yes, so next year I'm sending the teachers a letter of apology and a stun gun that they could use on my kid.What did Harrison dress as?He's a capybara.It's like a, I don't even know what kind of animal it is.
I've never heard of that, okay.
So he's wearing an inflatable costume.Yeah, that's it.He's inflatable costume.
Why didn't he go as like Shohei Itani or something?
No, we're Mets fans.No, there's a lot of Dodger costumes this year.A lot of bandwagoners, I have to say.
My son turned 17, of the world's largest rodents, Rudy says.My son turned 17 the day after Halloween.So our Halloween, he had a friend come over and then they just left.He didn't dress up as really anything.He put like a hat on.
We didn't see him again the rest of the night.And you know, my daughter's in college and just, It's kind of a bummer.It's like Halloween's kind of over for us.It made me nostalgic.
Like I have some friends who were like going out trick or treating, like our friend Jeff Chow, who was taking his kids out.
And it's like, we went three blocks and you hear the stories and you're like, Oh man, I, I was appreciating it as it was happening.But now I'm like, You're still in the middle of it a little bit, because at least you have a 10-year-old.
Yeah, and look, I was overplaying the inflatable costumes and electric bikes, but it is awesome trick-or-treating with you two.No, no.
Well, I miss it, because I was going back.I'm sitting there. At, uh, like 1230 that night, I'm going through Halloween, 2014 with the kids dressed as I'm going through the pictures.
I'm like, I'm like Clark Griswold, like on Christmas vacation, the movie, like getting sad, looking at the old photos.But, um, the fact that our kids basically, Halloween doesn't matter.
So my wife invited some friends over, including her, uh, your wife must have a couple insane friends, right? A couple, yeah.I would kill if it was down to a couple, yeah.Yeah, well, same for my wife.But a couple of her friends came over.
Krista and Heather were over.And it was just, all bets were off as soon as I heard they were coming over.
You're not supposed to call them out as insane, I don't think, by name.
Well, and I love them, though.But they came dressed as the Shining Girls.All right. in the blue dresses, so that's how we started.
There was Rose, and then they all went out, and I stayed in, because I wanted to, just in case we got trick-or-treaters, but I also really wanted to watch the Texans game.
And they went out, and they came back, and my wife was in rough shape on a Thursday night.And eventually my son came back, and my wife had been a little over-served, because she was out with the Shining Girls.
And my son was now like, whoa, what's up with mom?And I was like, we've really come full circle.Now my wife is the one who's a complete mess, my son is the one being judgmental, and I have to worry if I'm sending my wife to school the next day.
So yeah, Halloween, full circle at my house.Thanks to the Shining Girls for getting my wife just blot out. It sounds like they were the moonshining girls.
My son's birthday was the next day, but I was thinking like 17 years before that we were in the hospital as I'm pushing, I'm yelling at him in the belly to come out so he could be born on Halloween.He just choked.
He came three in the morning, three hours late. Could have been the Michael Myers baby.
You should have asked Ben.You'd be like, listen, I miss going out with you on Halloween.Can I hang with you and your friends?Can I tag along?What would he say?
Yeah, he doesn't want to hang out with us.He doesn't want to?That's sad.No.Listen, I was in that stage.I totally get it.
He'll go back to the copy bearer stage.You'll see.He'll be fine.
I'll say it again, I'm jealous that you have the third kid.It's a big hole in my resume.I wish we had one more.Could always adopt.
They're right there for you.
All right, that's it for Parent Corner.How's the basketball gambling going?
Not bad.I don't know.I'm doing player props because I feel like I get angrier when teams blow 14 point leads.I could lose.What about you?
I've stayed away.I've been really enjoying all the futures I have.The one thing is I really think the Bucs might be screwed. And even the other night, they were, I think, minus two against Cleveland.I just don't think the Bucs are good.
And this happens in the NBA sometimes, where they keep waiting for the team to right the ship, and I don't think it's gonna happen with them.So, at least until Chris Middleton comes back, so.Seems like an opportunity to keep going against them, but.
All right.All right, cuz, what do you got to plug?
What do I have?I have, oh, against all odds, we're gonna recap the Monday night football game.We got our College Hoops preview.And through the ringer, speaking of College Hoops, I do it with Tate every week.It's a lot of fun.
Ring a pregame show on Sunday.Going for eight and two with my wisest wager, Simmons.Never been this good.What did you hit this week?I did the over in the Cincinnati Oh, the Cincinnati Raiders game, that was easy.
That did okay, and Tony Gonzalez on Cousin Sal's winning weekend this Friday, so that'll be fun.
So, I have one for you to mention to Tate.Go ahead.I saw, I can't, I guess Fandel doesn't have it, but I saw it on Twitter.I can give you his number if you want.
No, which one? No, they don't have it yet.There was a Cooper flag for the wooden award bet.He was like five to one.He was the favorite.
Yeah, I think I saw six.Yeah.
He's definitely winning the wooden award.That's, but like lock it in unless it gets hurt.I want to put money on that.Are we allowed to bet?We're allowed to bet on college basketball players, right?
Here's the crazy thing. You can't bet on it until he turns, how old is he gonna turn in like?18, he turns 18 in January, I think.I might have the month wrong.You're not allowed to bet on it until he's 18.
So we're not allowed to bet on people who aren't 18 yet?
I believe that's what actually Tate told me the other day, so.
What if it's a tennis player? Who the hell cares?What if it's like Boris Becker in the 1986 Wimbledon, where you just can't bet on him?
Jennifer Capriati.I don't know.Some league restrictions.
I'm in on him.As soon as we can bet on Cooper Flack, I'm in, as long as it's plus odds.
Really?Okay.He's going to be awesome.
You should have your own... There should be a tank podcast, right?It should just be all about tanking for Cooper Flack.
Well, this year we're going to have... There's seven or eight teams.Utah's already committed to it.I mean, Utah's.
This is what I mean, like eight teams.When are you ever gonna have that again?Yeah, there's a few of them.
I'll see you next Sunday.Sorry about the Cowboys.Good job, Bayou.
I am too.Congratulations on Drake, man.Good job, Bayou!
Thanks to Steve Cerutti and Kyle Creighton as always.You can watch all the clips and episodes on our YouTube channel.And I'm going to be back with a podcast probably earlier on Tuesday, election day, so in the morning.So see you then.
♪ On the wayside ♪ ♪ I'm a person never on the scene ♪ ♪ I don't have to wait ♪ Must be 21 plus and president in select states.For Kansas, an affiliation with Kansas Star Casino or 18 plus and president in D.C.Gambling problem?
Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit rg-help.com.Call 1-888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org slash chat in Connecticut or visit mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland.
Hope is here, visit gamblinghelplinema.org or call 800-327-5050 for 24-7 support Massachusetts or call 1-877-8-HOPE-NY or text HOPENY in New York.
Sign in
