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Hey everybody, Bad Friends, we have merch merch.We're doing a merch competition for our fans to see who can create their dope designs.The best ones.End up on our shirts, our hats, beanies, whatever.Those are creative.
We want to see how creative you can get.Send your creative designs to carlosintheboothatgmail.com.carlosintheboothatgmail.com.I'm sure we'll put it on the screen right there.Send in your ideas for your Bad Friend merch and make it a reality.
Who are these two idiots?
A white dude and an Asian dude.
You two are disgusting.You two are something.We're bad friends.What's up?
Oh, she's kicking it old school.
Put your headphones on and we'll talk.
Oh, so we're doing sketches now.Put your headphones on.Oh, it's all making sense.Now I'm having fun.
Ladies and gentlemen, Chili Chill is in the house.Yeah, Chili, what's up?There it is right there.And who am I?Who am I?Do you know who I am?I am a scientist from North Korea.Well, it's that and a combination with that and Drugstore June.
I'm the pharmacist. Your favorite movie drugstore June pharmacist.Oh God guy look at this and the boys.
You know what they are Yeah Well, you're right.You have the north your G soon Park Yeah, who are you that's son who are you Pete?
No.Pete.Uh, me?Yeah, you're the Pete.Oh, that's me, yeah.My God, Pete is back.
Hey guys, I missed you.Pete, what did you bring us, Pete? Well, for Bobby's birthday, I had my kids do some portraits of you in that blue bag over there.Yeah, they drew some portraits of you.
Let's get it out of the way real fast.Happy birthday to you.Happy birthday to you.Happy birthday, dear Robert.Happy birthday to you.All right, let's see the photos.
That's my son five-year-old son, I thought it was a priest and the exorcist Yeah, yeah, you know that's what your five-year-old son thinks Bobby looks like a priest of And let's see next one my three-year-old for the morning Bobby let me see
That's right now, actually.Like, I can't sleep!
I can't sleep!Little wide-eyed Bobby.Yeah, yeah.Alright, who's the next one?
Oh!Wow.Your three-month-old? No, I'm kidding.I'm kidding.He's a good guy.
And what's a good guy?What's the next?He's a good guy.I tried.I tried to make this is Pete.This is this is you.I tried to make.Yeah.
Whoa.Right here.What is this?Pretty similar to the three month old.
Yeah.So thank you so much for these.Happy birthday.Happy birthday.That's the present. They worked really hard on that.We all agree.
All right, all right, all right.Rudy, what did you get?Other than being Chilly Chill, probably costume of the day, Chilly Chill, what did you get Bob for his birthday?Okay.
Give it to me.I'll give it to him.Are you sick, by the way?You sound sick.She was a couple of weeks ago.Oh, that's nice.Nice bringing it here.
She's not contagious.I promise.Yeah, all you people say that.All right, so this is great.Can I just like... Okay, I'm going to guess. A candle.
Oh.Oh.Let me see.What is it?This is kind of cool, dude.This is for the bath, dude.Show me.Is there a price tag?
Oh, that's nice.This is bath salts.You could smoke this.
You could smoke this and get ripped.Yeah.
So this right here is... I don't know if you'll like it, but I know you really like perfume.
It's a cologne for men or women?
I don't know.I just like the smell.
And I thought you'd like it.That's a sweet gesture.
Oh, it's too dark to be good.
No, I think it's gonna be good.Oh, shit. How is it?Really good.Really?Let me smell.Pass it.It's musky.
I can kind of smell it from here.Yeah.What brand is it?
I don't know.Philly Fragrance.Oh, is it Philly Fragrance?Yeah.
No, that says fragrances.I really like it.It does.I'm sorry, my bad.
Pogostemon.Do you know this?
And then the next one because you smoke a lot.
Yeah, you do.Yep.We gotta quit.It's an ashtray.
Fucking amazing.Let's see.Can I say something to you?Whoa.Dude, what a great gift.Yeah?Honestly, I have to give it a nine out of ten.Nine out of ten.That was really good, dude.Any gifts from the room up there?You know what?It was thoughtful.
You thought about it.You're not just giving me socks like Steve does, my brother.Is that what he got you this year, socks?No, but he'll just go, hey, happy birthday, dude, and give me a pack of socks.Well, you do like socks.
I know, but still, it's not thoughtful.
All right, let's see what the boys got you.Go ahead, Carlos.You want to set it up?
Yeah.Me, Andreas, and McCone went to Echo Park.We put it out there on Instagram to all the fans to come do a video for us.And this is from us and the fans to you.
All real fans pulled up to Echo Park.
Happy birthday, Bobby.Thank you so much for making me laugh during my childhood on MTV.Happy birthday, Bobby.We love you.
Happy birthday, Bobby.You have put me through a lot of things and I'm so appreciative of you.
Happy birthday to my bisexual brother.I'm sorry about everything on the road in 2023.Yeah, it's almost 2025 now.So we can move past it all. Happy birthday.I love you.
Happy birthday, Bobby.We love you so much.We wanted to show how L.A.loves you.So we pull a call out and L.A.answer.Happy birthday, Bobby.Happy birthday to you.
Five.Happy birthday, dear Bobby.Happy birthday. That's so funny.That's so funny.That's good.Well, that's cool.Five people showed up.
They came in droves, huh?
I guess that was hard to contain.Did the cops show up?Because that was too much of like a... I mean, the photo before, though, looked like there was a lot of people.That one.What's that?That's a stock photo.
Yeah, that's a stock image.
I was like, oh, that's cool.No, five.It's only five.Yeah. Okay, well, thank you for showing up to that.God, you guys really love to do this to me.
We have a video from Fancy, too, because he's not here today.
Okay.Oh, sad that he's gone.
Happy birthday, Bobby.I'm sorry I'm not there celebrating with you, but I'm doing something nobody else has ever done for you.I took a plane last night, and I'm here in Springfield, Ohio, looking for your favorite treat. Happy birthday.
It's so topical.He's right on beat.Very good.He's on beat, that guy.He doesn't miss.Yeah.He's looking for cat meat.Well, I got you a gift.Thank you.I actually got something really special and custom made for you.Thank you.You want to come here, Ben?
I got you something real.Actually, look at me.Very special for you.Thank you, man. This is my good friend, Ben Baller, came by.Whoa, what's up, Ben?Fuck yeah, homie.Ben, can you sit?You want to sit in this seat for two seconds?I love you.
Dude, you came all the way over here, Ben?I just landed from Chicago, man.He just landed.Wow.And you came here for what?Not just this.There's no way you came here for this.He did.He came here just for this.Why?Just mail it to me.No.
Nah, this can't be mailed.
This can't be mailed.Oh, wow.Ben, oh my God, dude.Dude, I'm like... What a day.Rob Lowe earlier and now Ben Baller.
What did Rob Lowe do for you?
He just talked to me for a second. But anyway, no, I'm just saying see running into people you're filled with joy right now pretty joyous.You're 53rd birthday.This is great.How old are you man?
Should I know he's older than me?
Fuck him, but look at how much better.You do look really good.Doesn't he?Yeah, Rudy agrees.I look really good for your age.You think?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.Hey, cool it out.Cool it out, roll out.
That's enough of that.Yeah.Pervert.Yeah.
Ben, you're married, right?
Uh, in the middle of a divorce, and the kids are outside.
Oh, my God.Oh, they are?They're outside?It's all good.Okay, okay.Thanks for bringing it up, man.Sorry, sorry, sorry, my bad, my bad.I even told you, don't bring up the divorce.You'll find somebody.
No, no, I'm good.Yeah, yeah, yeah.No, you're killing it, you're killing it.No one's worried about him.Oh, yeah.But he's got a special gift real fast.
Okay, I'm so... Dude, already, dude?It might be better than hers.
I did something for you that... You probably won't believe and I called him up.I said I need a favor from you and I need you to help me out It's brass knuckles.Please tell me do you want to show him what it is?
You want to show him a little something a little something just a little something from me to you.
Nothing crazy but if there's one person to call it's been baller and I said Ben will get you something dope and he'll know what he wants and It'll be great.Well, and I think this is your style.I think why you Is it alive?Don't worry about it.
Don't worry about it.Okay, I'll close my eyes.But I said, you got to match Bob's style.And he goes, I know exactly how to match that guy's style.I know what he wants.I know what he needs.
We don't have to talk.We will talk about it in a minute.
You can tell him after.Wait.Wow. Put it around his neck.No, there's no fuck.
There's no way to take off your headphones.
There's no way to put it around.There's no way to okay.Wait, you saw how heavy this is.
Wait, you're gonna have to wait.God, your head is fucking huge.Trust me.Okay.Wow.That's over a kilo of gold.That's a kilo of gold.Wow.
Well, here's why.I said to Ben, I know Korean culture, big on church, we're trying to get you back into religion.
It's a weird thing that you would give me though, because I'm not a Christian.I have to walk around with this now and go, hey.First of all.I mean, thank you.I appreciate it.
You told me spirituality was important to you again.Yeah, but not Christianity.It could have been a Buddha.
I'm sorry.It's 120 carats.I understand the carats and the gold and all that.I'm sorry, I'm sorry.Are you joking?No, you fucking fucking ruined it with me.What the fuck?I thought it would be cool.
I thought it's like when we... You really don't like this?
No, I mean, it looks cool.I'm just saying that it's like I'm not a Christian.It's more than that.Okay, okay.It's cool.Thank you.First of all... I mean, a Buddha?Or even like the yin and yang maybe? Do you not like it?No, I really love it.
Because this was not cheap.No, I love it.No, I'm serious.How much was this?Tell him everything about the piece he's wearing around his neck.Yeah, tell me everything about it.It looks beautiful though.
It's about 130 carats.There's actual glacier blue diamonds on there.It's over a kilo in gold.What?It's about $260,000 together.You don't like it?Give it back.
Stop!You don't like it?You have to give it back.No, don't take it off!I have to take it off.I'm gonna be so offended if you take it off.I'm not kidding.Can I be- I'm gonna be fucking pissed off if you take it off.
Can I be completely honest with you right now?Can I just- because you're my friend, I love you.Can I be completely honest with you?And Ben Ball, I love your shit, dude.It's so beautiful, right?But can I be honest with you?It's so heavy.
I can like feel it yank my neck for it.Like it's so heavy.Well, this can be exercise I know but it's like I like I have to literally yeah, you should stand up straight.Yeah.Yeah, it's just it's like on me.Okay, it's like a boat You don't like it.
I love it.But why'd you spend that much?Give me a car Okay I'm super.I love I love it.He hand-designed that we it's for you.I'm kidding.I'm playing it for comedy of course.It's great You don't like it.I listen.Oh, hey.That's hungry me.
That's how good no of course.I love it Are you disrespecting the culture right now?I'm not you know of course I love it, but can I just for right now so I can perform can I take it off my neck?
No, I get to keep it on the whole fucking show yes, I have to wear this all the time I spent 260 fucking thousand dollars on it.I have to wear this every day Like when I go to Hawaii tomorrow.
It's a condo.I bought you a condo and I thought that I thought you'd be appreciative.
Thank you so much, dude.What a fucking pleasure.What a beautiful present.
In about 45 minutes, he'll need some Advil.It'll cut the circulation.It's a kilo of gold.Well, hey Mike, okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.It's Bendos.But still.I feel like you're trying to kill me. Maybe.So, honestly, can I talk to you?
Talk to me on the mic.We're on the show.Talk to me on the mic.We're on the show.
Yeah, maybe, okay, but, can I, maybe I have to cut this part out, but.
I don't even care, he sent the wire yesterday, or it was Friday.
He's paid, he doesn't care, it's over.You spent that much money on this?Are you out of your fucking mind?Did this guy or did this guy not talk incessantly about I better get him something extravagant, unbelievable, expensive, over the top?
I had to call my business manager and like move money from a private fucking account to get this done for you.Yeah, but then, Yes, what the fuck?You think I have that money just like sitting somewhere?I had to pull it out of my savings.
Ben, are you being offended right now?What are you doing?You're like doing a Yakuza fucking thing, like you're gonna fucking kill me.He will fucking kill you.Namaste, thank you so much.Very good.I like it.So what I'm saying to you is very beautiful.
It is.What do you think, Jules?
It's really cool, but I feel like you would die from it.
Exactly.Thank you. So, dude, I think you're being real.So here's the deal, dude, okay?I don't know, can you get your money back?How about this, you don't have to give me anything, just get your money back.
No, dude, you can't get your fucking, what are you talking about?That's it, it's over, it's done.
I'm gonna put this in a vault then, there's no way I'm gonna, because it's so expensive.I'm gonna put this in a vault.
You're not going to wear it out?You don't even want to show it to people that it's a thing that I got you?
If you wear that in Hawaii, you will look like a fucking G. You'll be a king.
Don't you want to walk around a king that you are?You're saying that if I walk around with this fucking thing, can I see what it looks like underneath the shirt?
That's the whole point is to be on the shirt.
No!No one knows it's there.
Nobody knows see how bling his neck is right now.
Yeah, you're iced out on your neck.It's beautiful.
But pull up with no shirt.Yeah, no shirt would be nice.Yeah, no shirt would be really nice.Oh my god Yeah, you know, I'm just chilling on a beach.Look at what you look like.I'm chilling on a beach, dude No Bro just look really good.
Just look at what you look like.Holy shit Dude, I look like a future monk or something Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't look normal Okay, yeah, do me if I'm gonna do this one last okay?
If you don't like this piece, yeah, they're I mean then what just tell me the consequences oh
I'm being what I'm trying to play it for I took comedy, but I think you're being real on that I want to be completely honest with you Thank you so much But it's a little too much like what I bought you was a couple of grand of little Nixon knickknacks right you $250,000 is so stupid 260 yeah
I know, but I'm just saying that I think but how about this then?No.Yes, I'll keep it I'll put I'm gonna buy a vault and I'll stick it in the vault.Do you have a safe at your house or anything?I do.I'm gonna get a better vault.
Because I don't have anything that's worth this much.
Can you tell him how hard it is shining from across the room?
I mean look at how beautiful.Okay, it looks shiny. Is that what you're saying?Ben, Ben, are you telling me that... I swear to fucking God, dude, I don't want to threaten you because you look like you know some people.He is the people.
I know, but look at what he's doing right now.What are you doing right now, dude?You're eyeing me down, dude.I appreciate it.What I'm saying is that I will bring this to Hawaii and I'll wear it every fucking day, but I'm telling you right now...
I feel like I'm gonna get stares in a weird way and also somebody's gonna jack me.No, they're not Yeah, they're gonna be like that goddamn.That's 90 carat.
Yeah, whatever and then I'm gonna be like, well, no, it's not it's plastic Right and then they're like yank it out.Yeah, you know What's wrong, dude?I'm sorry.You're a very craftsman.Well, I'm a little I know you're killing it.All right, so um
No, no, no.I can go?Okay.
I appreciate you.Thank you so much, man.I love you.I'll text you in a little bit.It's really nice to meet you.Nice meeting you.I'll text you in a minute.Thanks a lot, man.Take care, John.I didn't know you were older than me.
Wait, is this your iPhone?Is this yours?Yeah, it is.I'd rather have that.
No.God, it looks so good.
Alright, I'll talk to you in a little bit.
No, please don't take it off.No, no, I'm serious.
Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't.
Bob, Bob, Bob, stop.Stop.Stop.
It really hurts my neck, though.You have to leave it on for the show.It hurts my neck.I swear to God, it hurts my neck. It really hurts my neck, dude.
You look very cool, Tito Bobby.
Told you.You look so dope.Huel!You guys, um, this stuff has been a game changer for me.This is Huel.It's ready to drink meal.It's like a complete meal in a bottle.It's so convenient.
Sometimes when you wake up and go, oh my God, like at least for me, like I'm late.I'm always late.Right.And I grabbed this out of the fridge.I put it in the car.I drink it while I'm going to this thing.This is a miracle.
Well, if you're on the run, like most of us are these days, you're late for a meeting or something like that and you have no time to go sit down and have a traditional breakfast, I gotta tell you, very, very good, very, very good.
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Lucy as someone that's a nicotine user and I've been using nicotine since the beginning of time well kind of yeah Yeah, cuz you are old Lucy is legit Lucy is legit.It's so you we take it when we are doing shows I like
I like Lucy, and I'll tell you what I like about Lucy Breakers.Look at this big one they sent us.It's got a lot of pouches in there.This has eight milligrams, and it does contain nicotine.
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That's 20% off and free shipping with the code BADFRIENDS at manscaped.com. Seriously, I hear your mind.I don't care if you and I are married.When you walked in the door and you asked me, and you were like, why are you?
I don't care if we're married, and we're lovers, and we lived for 40 years together.You don't give somebody a $260,000 gift for no reason.
No, but there's a reason.
What is the reason?And then why would you give me this symbol? Because it's a bad friend.
Yeah, you know, I mean first of all Ben Ben was like Ben was like in the Korean culture because Because God has so much movement.I want God to move through Bobby and I said, what was the piece that you think I'm making?
He said I want to make a dope-ass cross like old-school hip-hop cross and I said, that's so sick And he goes does he like color blue?
I said he loves a color blue and he goes I don't actually know No, I feel like you don't know who I am Color blue is not my favorite color No, I didn't say favorite, but you like the color blue.
I like it's like top ten, but it's like not even the top five.Okay, I'll take top ten.You know what I mean?So it's a six?Yeah, yeah.Six is fine.And then it's also like, I don't know about the carrots.
It's so shiny and stuff, but it's like... Are these real diamonds?There's no way they're real diamonds.What are they, dude?How much was this? $20? Oh, you know what?I know you so well.
I know when you're frustrated and I know when you get mad and that's what you're doing right now.So what I'm doing is, thanks dude.Wow.And then, you know, here's another problem I have with this.Now we're going to one up each other.
So what do I have to get you next?A Maserati? Mm-hmm.That's more than a Maserati.Yeah.Yeah.Yeah.Two months.I mean, that's my point, right?Here's a yacht.And all of a sudden, I have no money.Mm-hmm.I'll have no money, dude.
And then all of a sudden, we're broke, dude.We're like those two guys from trading spaces.
You know what we're like?What?You know what we're actually like?What are we like?Two bears, one slave.That's right.
That's right.Wow.That's crazy, dude.Thanks a lot, dude. Hey buddy!What, Dax Flame's here?Dax is here!Oh man!Holy shit, Dax!Thank you so much, Dax!
Dax, are you, uh, do you wanna sit or do you gotta go?Do you have to go?What do you mean?We asked you to sit down, what should I do? Yeah.Dax, are you, how did you know, did you?You got me a hi-ho cheeseburger?
I heard that you like burgers.
Yeah.And you got me a high-end one, probably one of the best ones in LA.Yeah, that's classy.
Okay, check this out.Yeah.Ask Dax, Dax, do you like his chain?I got him a chain for his birthday.
Yeah. Wait a minute.No, wait, stop.Thank you, Dax.
Are you shirtless just for your birthday?
No, no.Yes.No.He's trying to emphasize the chain.
Yeah, I would take it to put the shirt back on.
No, no, please off.Please.
It looks so much better off.Okay.So, Dax, this was Andrew's present.Okay, nice.Yeah.And now, can I just say something, bud?Sure.It hurts my neck so bad.
Yeah, maybe with the shirt on it'll be a little cushiony Yeah, no, I'm just saying the weight of it.
Oh, it's kind of pushing my fucking neck forward that kind of hurts It's very heavy just sit straight sit straight up there you go Okay, but so dags if you got this you wouldn't wear it I would wear it in front of the person who gave it right and then what would you do when you got home with this I
Maybe just send them a text thank you and I'm enjoying it.
Okay, then what would you do with it, though?
Give it to someone who, like, would wear it more.
That's what I'm saying.Yeah.So then would you give it to a friend or would you put it in a safe?
I would sell it and just use the money on something you like.
Oh, that's so good.I prefer you to not do that.Yeah, I'm going to do that. It's, what do you care?
That will end our friendship if you do that.You bought me a beautiful 200- And that's what it's supposed to be.You don't sell it and then take the money and do something else with it.
Yeah, I wanna buy other things with it.Like something that I need, like a car.You know that my car got totaled.You have the money for that.They gave you money for the insurance.
I know, but maybe you could've got me a car instead of this thing that I'm not, something I'm not gonna fucking wear.Think about what you're doing, dude.Why would you ask Ben Baller of fucking Chinese Mafia to come over here, you know what I mean?
With this fucking glare. And then do this to me.
Whatever he is, what is he?He's Korean.
He's so hot.Yeah, he is pretty hot.You think he's a hot guy?Yeah.You better watch your mouth.Watch your fucking mouth.
He looks good for 50 something, huh?
Okay, so he's 50 something, and then what are you gonna say about... You guys are... Yeah.
Sorry, I'm sorry.I'm getting stepped on today.I thought it was a- You guys are what?
Um, like, okay.And Ben is like, high up.
So Ben's a hot guy and we're losers?
Mmm, okay, or okay a why okay, or okay a why okay, okay?
Okay, then it's like okay, okay, okay, okay?
He's okay, okay, okay, okay?I get it so Dax.Thanks for stopping by and getting when did you get the cheeseburger just a moment ago really? Can I open it?May I?
When did you get the cheeseburger?Yesterday.What do you think?He got it today.I don't know how some of you guys work.Sometimes you guys will get me a cheeseburger from yesterday.Never have we ever.Yeah, but from hours ago or whatever.
You've done that before, hours ago.
It's been delivered 15 minutes before you're here. But he went and got this for your birthday.Really, thank you so much.He also wanted to sing you happy birthday while you took a bite.So will you hold on, will you take a bite and you sing, Dex?
You said you had a special version of happy birthday for him.Yeah, yeah.Go ahead while you take a bite.
So wait, wait until I grab it.I'm sorry, can I just say something?Really appreciate it.Pretty cold though, huh?Is it cold, eh?Yeah.Honestly, when did you get this?
Uh, maybe 35 minutes ago.
Okay.That's not bad.Not bad.All right, here we go.Go ahead and go.
Happy birthday to you.Happy birthday to you.Happy birthday, dear Bobby.Happy birthday to you.And there's a little card for you as well.
That was the rendition.I thought that was your own rendition.
Oh, happy Bobby day to you.Happy Bobby day to you.
I'm going to change the tune.I'm going to change the words and tune a little bit.
All right, let's not eat.Let's read the card.
Let's read the card.I'll eat this later, Ben.Thank you so much.Ben?You still got Ben on your mind.Yeah, Ben's still on my mind.Sorry.
Ben Baller's still on my mind.Do you know Ben Baller?Did you meet him on the way out?He's incredible.And Rudy thinks he's really hot.He's a very handsome, cool dude.He's the man.He looks handsome.He is.He very much is.Oh, a card.What does it say?
Can I see it?No, you may not.Well, let him read it. I memorized it, that's how short it was.What did it say?Keep up the good work.Well, that's true, isn't it?No, there's no, that's nothing.Well, you know who gave it to you, he just gave it to you.
It doesn't matter, like when I, 20 years from now, because I keep these in a fucking box.Maybe he'll sign it for you.And for memories, I'll, you know, no, fuck off.Hey, what?No, I'm sorry, this is bullshit.My neck hurts.So what?Grow up.You're 53.
Fuck you, man.Fuck you. Sorry, is that me?Yeah.I'm reading the wrong one.All right, sorry.Thank you so much, Dax.
Dax, thank you, man.I appreciate it.Thank you, Dax.Thank you so much, Dax.We'll see you later, buddy.Thanks a lot, man.Bye, dude.Thanks, Dax.Very nice.What a sweet, sweet guy.Like, honestly.Honestly.Rudy has something to tell us. You fuckin' know.
Don't play dumb.Don't you dare play dumb with me.
That's so good.Tito Bobby!
Is it good or no?Oh, hold on.I'm gonna try to see if I can get it.No, that's gonna hurt, dude.No, it won't.It's sticky.
No.No.Why do you want to take that home?
I know, but men's razors is usually better.Why?I don't know.They make it better for men.
Why would they make it better for us than for you guys?
That doesn't make any sense.
Isn't the same, because sometimes I'll go out on the road, I'll use a woman's shaver on my tootchy.You do on your toot toot?Yeah.
They say men's razors are better.
It's more sensitive for sure.I have a little gripe.Can I tell a little gripe or not?Please.I thank you so much for your happy birthday messages on Instagram.But next time you do that, you don't have to throw in a fun fact.Give us some fun facts.
So today I get, happy birthday, buddy.By the way, Pat Morita, you're older now than Pat Morita was when he did Karate Kid.Wow, when he was... Wow, you are, right?It's insane.And then guess what?Two hours later, I bought a bonsai tree.
Wow, Pat Morita during Car Cry.
How old was Pat Morita when he did Chronic?
You're 53.I'm 53.So you're older than Mr. Miyagi.Dude, I'm older than Mr. Miyagi in that movie.
Isn't that crazy?That's beautiful.No, I don't like that.
I love that because look at how much younger you look than he looks.That's a compliment.Oh no, you look the same.Nevermind, you look the same.Pretty good.Let me hear you say wax on, wax off.
Wax on, wax off.No.How do you say it?
Wax on, wax off. Kind of play it out.Play it out?I don't even know what you mean, your notes?Play it out.
Oh, play it out. Bring up the Wax On Wax Off scene, please.Yeah.Bring up the Wax On Wax Off scene, please.
Okay.I think I'm doing it way too much, I think.I think his is more understated.His is more subtle.
His is more low.Yeah, yeah.
Here it is.Have you seen this movie?Oh my God, you have to watch this movie.
What are you doing, dude?That was literally- So?Very good.Karate Kid, dude.That's how you learn.By Emanuel Leiber.
I feel like the Jackie Chan version is better.
Oh my god.What do you mean?What do you mean?What do we mean?
What the fuck do you mean?
That movie is so good. No.Oh my god.
No.No.Ralph Macchio, my guy.Ralph Macchio guy.
You would.Oh, why?Because there's black people in it?
Because he won.What?He won.Yes, so did fucking Ralph Macchio.
No, this is better.No, you haven't even seen Karate Kid to say that this is better.Did Jaden do the crane?
He did.It did a great job.It's actually a really good movie.But don't do that to Pat Morita.Not on his birthday.Not on his birthday.Yeah.But I never saw this version.Did you?Yeah, it's pretty good.It is pretty good.Yeah, it's very good.All right.
It's actually very good.Okay.Well, Jackie's incredible.
Jaden is phenomenal.He's a, he's, you know, he's the child of a, of an egomaniacal sociopathic maniac.So he of course is going to be a good actor.Yeah.Yeah.It's like, what are we talking about?Guys?Incredible.Wow.The whole family, he breeds talent.
All these kids have talent.All of them.That's amazing.What does it say on the Hill?Cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap.Let me see.Zoom in.Oh, it's written in. This way to Dog Hill?Oh, is this in Springfield?Wow.Wow.It's interesting.
I think you should watch it.You'd like it.
Do you think Koreans got offended by this Haitian stuff?
We're the one that eat the dog.
That is our thing.That's our thing.That's us.
Yeah. Don't take credit for a dog.Yeah, so I'm going to watch that movie then.You should.Okay.
It's actually really good.What do you have to announce to Tito on his birthday?You told me before the show you wanted to tell him something.Tell him what it is.Go ahead.
that I just wanted to say that I appreciate you.I see you as like a father figure.I think you've always been there for me.You're very supportive.And I think, yeah, you're just, I love you.
I mean, coming from her, That's huge.That's the best.I believe it.
She said, I love you.Go ahead, Carlos.
Me?You want me to say something?
Way to go, McCone.Yeah.Go ahead and do it.Try it again.Yeah.I don't think you know what you're doing.
He's jerking it.It's the way the arrow goes.I think it's a loss.
That's my guy.That's your guy.That's my guy.Yeah, yeah.Wow.
Here's the best part.Hey! Here's the best part.Well, Carlos said, because Carlos has to clean that up.That's the best part.Yeah.Happy birthday.
Thank you, man.Anyone else have a speech?Oh, I have one.Okay, go ahead.Bob, I've met you like 14 years ago and
You are one of the only people in Hollywood or in my life that's ever just been consistent.
And I just want to say thank you.
And I've always looked up to you.And thank you, bud.
You're the man.Thank you, bud.
You got me through some of the toughest times in my life.Back when I was FedEx driving during the pandemic, didn't know where I was going.This is before I met you.Yeah.But parasocially.
He's saying he was a fan.Parasocial.Okay.Been a fan.
Okay.And then through you, through Tiger Belly, I heard about Brandon Dermer, got a lot of my first jobs through there.And then also you were nice enough to talk to me that one night at the comedy store.And I was so happy you did.
I walked three miles home to my apartment in Central Hollywood because I couldn't believe That you talked to me and you were nice and I was so nervous.I was stumbling over my words and she said slow down It's okay.Let's take a seat.
We sat down and we remember that gave me your number And I couldn't believe I was calling the front patio.I was calling everyone from patio.
and then I just, I always look back.That's good.
That's a lot.You're doing too much.Just stop.God.Goddamn, dude.I love you.Yeah.All right, Pete.Pete.
Bobby, I've been a fan of yours.All right, that's good.So let's get back on the show.Yeah, that's not real.
Let's just kind of continue the show.That's not real.But anyway, let's go back to the show.Jules?He already did it.What's going on in your life?Yeah, what's going on?
Well, in class, we made fruit flies drunk.And I learned that they don't have any lungs, so they just breathe through their skin.
We're trying to get you citizenship?We're paying for a citizenship?This is insane.You're getting fucking fruit flies drunk?
Wait, why?To find out what?
just to find out if um i don't know but we're doing they're doing research and we're doing the that kind of procedure for the flies
And she's already becoming a nurse.Already.Look at that.Start with the insects.Researchers suggest that alcohol stimulates the fly's brains as a reward in a similar way to sexual conquest.
The work points to a brain chemical called neuropeptide F, which seems to be regulated by the fly's behavior.
Yeah, well, I just read it.
Yeah.Jesus Christ.Just read it.You're in school.I thought you were done.Didn't we think you were done?
Next year you're done.You know, I re-watched some of the Paranormal Activity movies.
Do you want to creep yourself out a little bit?
Do you see?No.You've never seen Paranormal Activity?I have, but I haven't seen anything recently.No, like the first two.Sure.The original ones.Yeah.Have you seen it?They're like 20 years old.Oh, yeah, yeah, for 2019, 2009.Yeah.
I'm just saying that they're good.No, they're very good.You're talking about like it's in a theater now.
I know, but what I'm saying is that that's a horror movie where when you do watch it alone and you actually go to bed, any creak, anything, it gets you.It gets you more than the modern shit doesn't get me anymore.No, that paranormal activity got me.
Got me good.Have you seen it?No.It's incredible.Oh, it's so good.Yeah, but my question is, I know it's an old movie, but that guy Micah, do you remember Micah in it? No, well, what do you what?Well, what do you what I'm just I have a question.
Yeah, I want to I'm waiting that guy So yeah, he's the husband of that group first girl in the first movie.Yeah leave Right you leave
You can't, that's your- No, you leave.You can't.Yeah, dude.You don't break up things that are so good.Look at this.You stay.
If you and I- Even when it's hard.If you and I were camping.Mm-hmm, go.And there was a ghostly presence in the forest.Yeah.Okay?And I go, you know what?I'll do an experiment.
And you're telling me, and you're fucking telling me, oh yes, ever since I was a baby, a ghost has been fucking haunting me.Yeah.Right?And then I go, I have some baking powder.
I don't know where sure just have some of my trunk just in case right so I did an experiment at 3 in the morning I put baking powder outside our fucking tent the next morning if we saw ghostly footsteps on that baking powder You'll never see no more bad friends.
That's it.Yeah.It's his friend Just friend by yourself old friend.Yeah, because there's no way anyway, is this real like Yes Yeah, it's real
I don't know anything about it.
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You've never seen Paranormal Activity?No, never.How not?
Why not, dude?It's such a good movie.It's such a fucking good movie, dude.I watched the David Chase documentary about Sopranos.Oh my god.Did you see Chimp Crazy?Oh my- we watched it together on the plane!What are you talking about?I finished it.
We were both watching it.Do you see Chimp Crazy?
I wanna see that, I haven't seen it.
Oh my god.Chimp Crazy is so good.Donnell!Donnell Rawlings!Wow!Wow!Good to see you.What's up?
What's up, D?You don't want to wish Bob a happy birthday?What's up, D?
Before we even start, I just want to say, Diddy is not my boy.Yes, he is.
Yes, he is.I gotta be clear.Kim Jong is not your boy, and Diddy, Sean Puppy Kong, Sean Jon, is not my boy.
Yes, I have met him before.
Pictures of Donnell Rawlings and P. Diddy together.No, wait, wait, wait.They're on the internet.
Let's see what's on the internet.Uh-oh.Uh-oh, spaghetti.
Someone's been to the island.Whoa.Uh-oh, where, where?There's gotta be photos of them together.Boys.Yeah.Okay, just tweet.Zoom in, zoom in.
Oh, wow, there's the dogs.Just be, okay, first of all.
Okay, what do we got here?
That's not Photoshop, that's 100% you.That's you.
That's you partying in St.Bart's with Diddy.
Okay, well it wasn't Diddy.Diddy was the freak.I was with Sean Combs.Oh, sorry about that.
I was with Sean Combs and that was a very good night.Cut to, I recognize half the people on, there's Dave.
Interesting that this would take place also on an island.Is that Tiger Woods?
No, that's not Tiger Woods.
That's so funny to say that.Is that Magic Johnson?Yep, that's Magic Johnson.To the left.
No, it's not Magic Johnson.The fact that y'all think everybody looks like Magic Johnson.
First of all, that's Magic Johnson on the left.No, it's not.It's all Chris Spencer. That's what it looks like.French Montana.Serena Williams.No, that's... No?Yeah, yeah.
Okay, the kid from Black-ish.Oh, God.Hold on, let me guess.Honestly, tell us who that is.No, no, let us guess.Okay.Okay.Dave Chappelle.Sean Combs.Russell Simmons.Let me guess.Okay.Okay.That guy on the far left is Bo Diddley.
Above Bo is... The Invisible Man from the book.That's Invisible Man. Right next to him is Whitey Ford.Yeah.
And next to me is a bottle of baby oil.One of the thousand, one of the 10,000 bottles of baby oil.Do you remember that night though?Big time.Yeah.I faded.I was supposed to be faded.
But the thing about it was I just did a podcast a while ago and I said, you know, it's hard, like it's when someone you know gets in trouble, you have mixed feelings because you have a relationship different from what the media.
And I know as crazy as it may sound, this is something that he does during the Christmas break, and it's a very, very family-oriented retreat.I know it may sound crazy, but that day was a great day.
It was filled with candy canes and popcorn and all the festive things that people like for the holidays.
But I will say- Who likes candy canes?
I don't like candy canes.
I left that party at a reasonable hour. And I tell people all the time, Puffy throws the best party, but you gotta leave before four o'clock in the morning.
Four o'clock.Four o'clock, it's gonna go crazy.Can I say something?Do you have the same disease Gary Oldman had, Gary Coleman had?I don't have a disease.Okay.
I don't know, take this the right way.I have never in my life seen a black person with a candy cane.
Ever, me either.I mean that in my entire life.Me either.
I bet you can't even Google black guy with candy cane.
I'll tell you this, there's two candy canes that black people fuck with.
The colors, all the colors.All the color, and we fuck with them.But the peppermint.
There's a candy cane right there, dude.I've seen that.Who's that?What?Who is that?I've never had a candy cane.That's Donnell's uncle.
Dee, is this you?No, that's not.
That was in your Instagram slides.
No, it wasn't.So what kind of conspiracy is this?
yeah when he comes in we're just gonna shit on the fact that we all connected a week ago we were it was a love fest and we had a good time we hugged up each other and everything now it's back to like okay okay d we're done we're done what did we learn about what did we learn about each other last week uh we learned that i'm consistent with not liking you
And I thought that was just reserved for Hollywood, but it works in the Midwest.Anywhere that you show up, you are an asshole.
The funny thing about it is people say, I don't know if this is white culture or whatever, and I'm not gonna make everything rice, but it's just- He said rice.
He's not gonna make everything rice.Sorry, but you know, I'm not a fan of yours.
I'll tell you what I'm not a fan of.What's that?If I may.Your feet. Yeah.
You don't know anything about my feet.
Yeah, I saw your feet.No, he didn't see them.
You don't know anything about my feet.
That whole day, you know what it called?The black arrow.Because his foot is like an arrow.
I got something for you, since you're talking about my feet.Socks.
Because I found out that, here you go.What color do you want?You only have options now.You don't have any options.But speaking of feet, this is what I do to protect the innocence of my feet.And what did you learn about my feet?
They're shaped in an unusual way, they're like an arrow.Yeah.
Very girthy and long?No, pointy.
Skinny.Pointy and skinny.
I know you're not familiar with that.
I'm just saying, if we're gonna do it, Bobby, let's just do it.We're not doing what, dude?All right.You coming to my podcast, I'm not doing anything.I'm like, welcome.You talking about my dick, dawg?
No, I'm not talking about that.I'm talking the lack of.That's what I'm saying.You know, people can speculate whatever they want.
It's his birthday.Let's be nice.It's my birthday, dawg.Happy birthday.Thanks, man.I got him a nice gift.Do you like the gift I gave him?What?A chain.
Did you bring a chain in just because I was gonna be here?
Insane to think that that's nice.That's so I knew that he was gonna have that twisted fucking thought.
Yeah I thought he was like this.Oh, Don.It'll be this is real hip and cool.
Are you just like a doctor?
What is the what do you let's not talk about clothing over here?Let's not talk about it.
No, you got a doctor.That's a doctor's dress.
Yeah, we're look and look at how she's dressed It's for his birthday.We're playing his famous roles in movies She's chilly chill right there and I'm in his favorite all-time movie the banger that is drugstore, June.Oh
Okay, see, I didn't know that.There's some history I didn't know.
Thank you for bringing me- But I bought him this chain from Ben Baller.
I had to- 260 grand, dog.That's friendship right there.
How long before you sell it?See, that's what I said.Yeah.Now, let me ask you something.Is it something that you would do?What, give somebody a chain?No, no.Sell it.If somebody gave you a $260,000 chain, would you sell it?
It all depends who gifted me.Me.If they gave it, I would definitely sell it.I don't want any memories.
He slammed you too, dude.No, I don't want- He comes in here with fucking- This is what he does to me all the time.Yeah, what the fuck is your problem?You asked me last week, I go, yo, man, I'm gonna be in town, dawg, can I do your podcast?
I go, yeah, you're welcome.Horrible impression.And you come here and you fucking do this?
Horrible impression to me.What?That was a horrible impression.Yo, dawg, why you had to do all that shit? You know if I would have been like this and you was like this don't know you can't go through this I Didn't do that.Yeah.
Yeah when I saw you I did roll up to you see a play kung fu fighting you did In his car.
Yeah.Yeah, I thought that was good.Yeah, so I saw your toes Didn't like them and they got mantle on I got another honestly.
They're not I don't do pedicures.
I Yeah, so then we did the show.Yeah.Very funny.And then what did I do to you on stage?Do you remember?
Yeah, I tackled you a little bit.
What did he show you?He showed you something on stage.No, he didn't.Yes, I did.Yeah, he did.What?You commented about it the whole time.Inside of my butthole.You know what?
Damn, you know how something sounds like it's a good idea? And you start off, you're like, this man, I fucked you.
I fucked up.And you stared a little too long, dog.No, I didn't.What I did tell you- He went like this.Yeah, yeah, you did that.
I didn't tell you.I said that, what I did tell you was that black people are one of the races to still hold tight to being homophobic.
And with that said, you crossed the roads with me every time you tried to get close to me and I told you to get the fuck away from me.
but you're used to people being aggressive towards you being negative so that wasn't anything that just made you more excited about being an asshole right but this podcast is not going to be about my disdain toward you good all right what do you mean man it's gonna be about a bond yeah good there was a fucking bond and i'll tell you another thing chachi okay
Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is what so this is the truth you want to hear the truth Yeah, I got the truth dog.Give it to me, baby, okay?You want me to preach preach?
What's the truth the truth is this mm-hmm player, okay, you and I got booked on let me talk dog, okay? You and I got both got booked on a TV show, right?We did.The Cabin.You weren't the first choice.Yeah, let me finish.Can I tell the story?Default.
OK, go ahead.You thought you were going to do the show with Bill Burr.
You woke up that morning.What?Excited.
About Bill Burr.About Bill Burr, right? Not excited about Bill Burr, excited about the history and what I was told about the shows.This is going to be a show where you go out in the woods and you bond with your boys, you have great conversations.
I didn't know it was going to be a show that invited a person like Bobby or would be excited about Bobby getting there.And when I was there, because I hadn't talked to Bill in a while, and this was what my response was.
And I looked at the trailers, and I was like, where's Bill's trailer, right?Then I look, and he didn't have a plaque, it was a piece of tape.They just wrote his name on it, right?That's when you know the person wasn't supposed to be there.
And I saw it, and I said, Bobby, and I said, Yeah, and I was like, he's going to be naked.
Yeah, I knew it.No, it wasn't.
It took away from like what a show I thought it was.I was like, it's one of those shows.And sure enough, soon as I walk in the joint, this naked ass.No, no, no.I'm so offended.
Bring up the picture of Bobby naked in the cabin on Netflix.
I'm so offended that you would even say something like this.
Are you?Yeah, yeah.I'm so- You were naked on the cabin on Netflix.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.On a bare skin rug.Not bare skin, no skin.What are you guys doing?
I mean, bring up the photo.
Yeah, you're butt naked right there with Burt.
This is what I walked into.
Right.Yeah, so, but- And this is what built- No, no, no, no, no, I'm sorry.Can I, may I say something?He got naked first.He took you.He took you.
Right, he got naked first and he- He took you. What are you doing?Guys.We're just watching the show.
Ten seconds you got there.
Did you hear me ask politely?
Is that not a joyous occasion?
Yeah.Did you not think that we did good together?Good chemistry.
I think that there was a part of the show that we had good chemistry.Other than that, I just wanted to get the fuck out of there.
Can I just say this?I promise you this.I guarantee you, even if you did that with Bill, ours still would have done better.
We wasn't doing that at all.You do that.You're comfortable.You want to do it.
You're comfortable.You want to do it.You fucking want to do it.And you're too afraid to say yes.And I'm saying you're going to get there. You're, you are comfortable.
You are comfortable exposing a body that looks like an old man and a baby in the same person.
How are you shaped like an old man and a baby?
Give me a hug, dude.It's my birthday, dog.Peace.All right.All right.Honestly, dude.Yo, honestly, dude.Give me a hug.
You smell good, like Cuban cigar.All right.No.
I gotta take this off, it's so heavy.
Be careful taking it off.
I can't believe I'm here.
Ben Baller was in here before you got here, gave you that.Oh, yeah?He just gave me that.
And then you just gifted him, so it wasn't like a gift.
I didn't give him that shit.That's $260,000, that's for real.
It's yours, you didn't give it to him.
I didn't give him shit, no, that's going right back to Ben.That shit was all fake.Oh, yeah?Oh, fuck yeah.
I thought that was my big gift and it wasn't.
He thought that was his big gift and I 100%, we 100% had, I was- You know, dude, okay, let's go back to real.You do have a real gift coming.
No, no, honestly though, dude, Hold on, hold on, put your shit on, go ahead.I wanna be real with you.My bad, I'm sorry.And I'm never gonna do that again.
I've never done anything like that to you ever.I've only shown you love and respect.
And secondly, dude, I literally, um, you're like one of the few guys I think in the country where I just wouldn't want to follow on stage.Yeah.Thank you.We made him close the show.You're a fucking destroyer, dude.You really are.
And I, you are equally.Yeah.And I, and I, Let me just get this off my chest.I honestly only feel pure respect and love for you, dude.
And when, you know, it's like, I think I sense certain things like a sexuality or energy, but I know, I know, but I'm probably reading it wrong.Honestly, I think I'm reading it wrong. I do see that with you two.
I think I'm reading it wrong, but I might not be.I don't know.Because I'm usually right.I feel a sexual tension, but I'll ignore it.I'll bypass it.Welcome to the show.Honestly, we will never do that again.We'll never hug.
It wasn't a we, it was a you.I didn't participate with that.
all right it wasn't a we it was it was it was you that's what he's saying it wasn't reciprocated he was bummed about it that's what exactly thank you so much yeah yeah it's not it's it's his birthday it's not it's a two-way street yeah it's it is a two-way street friendship
What can you do for your birthday that you haven't already did to embarrass yourself and ruin your career?How do you celebrate?
What do you mean?What do you mean?
How do you celebrate?You've done everything despicable, everything that you can't celebrate.But I've done some... How do you celebrate during your birthday?
Yeah, that's true.Thank you so much.Well, you didn't have to fuck a guy, but if you got fucked by the guy, that's the same as fucking a guy.It's in the same boat.You know what I'm saying?No, I didn't fuck him.He just fucked me.I still gangsta.
Please, give him that charm, man.That's the only thing that's gonna keep him together.
So anyway, yeah.I mean, what is it that scares you about flesh and flesh?
My flesh is what's scary.Here's another interesting thing you did last week.Andrew and I were in Springfield, Ohio, Yellow Springs.You were in Yellow Springs.In your neighborhood.Hanging out all night long.Donnell and Dave.
And late at night, I swear to God, and if you don't admit this, I'm gonna lose my fucking mind. All right.You're going to do what?I'll lose my mind.Again.Yes.Okay.
You turn to me, right?We're close to ... No.No, just stop, stop.Stop.Fucking stop.Okay.Sorry.I got ... That's okay.
It's my birthday, yeah.You go nuts.Thank you, guys.All right.With your little beautiful eyes, you looked at me and you go, yeah, dog.
I would say you have beautiful eyes, but I can't see them. I mean, if we're gonna do it, let's just do it, Bobby.All right?Wake up.Wake up.There he is.
You look at me and you go, yo man, come to my house, let me cook you something.
no yeah you did yeah you did that's not what i said this is what you said bobby yeah and i said you know i don't have my lube i don't have my lube on me shut the fuck up on your birthday yeah how about that that's the gayest thing i've ever heard what i said three in the morning come to my house let me make you some fish dog well and i'm like did you not say that did you not say that did you not
I'm gonna let you do you.I'm gonna let you calm down.I'm gonna respect the fact it's your birthday.
Okay, sorry, too much?No, this is what I said.Okay, keep going.You said, Donnie, where is it a good place to get some food in Yellow Springs?I said, at my house.And you said, this is what you said.
You said, I don't want your fried chicken, your collard greens, or your chitlins.
He did not say that.Yes, he did.He said, no, he said, I don't want pig's feet.He said, I don't want pig's feet.That's right, pig's feet, yeah.He said, I don't want pig's feet.Yeah, yeah.I don't want grits or okra.That's all he said.Or jammy jam.
He doesn't want jammy jam.
Yeah, I don't like your jammy-jam.Then after he started talking to people in town, he realized that there's one thing, it's a cool town, but it's not known for its food space.
And what I was doing was I wanted to offer that to you because I like cooking for people when they come in.It was three in the morning.
I don't see it that way.You said, come over right now to my house now, now, right?And I go, wow, it's three in the morning in my mind. Let me cook you up something now to me from where I'm from dog, right?
You would that's you if we're where you're from That's what yo where you from if I would invited you.Oh it is right.Where are you from? Exactly.
That's where it's from.That's where it is.
That's where it is.Where you're from, you would have jumped on the opportunity to come to my crib.
I would have loved to see where you live.Yeah.I wish we went over to your house.We weren't there long enough.
I know.We were there for- Three in the morning is a little weird.We were there for 17 hours.Yeah.
And I couldn't get an hour of your time?
David had most of our time.Yeah.
Okay.That's not my fault.Right.I tried.I know you did.I thought it was a good experience and I was excited to see you guys hanging out.It was a good time.
That was a really fun week.And I'll be honest with you.I mean, what did I do in the car?
Bob started crying.We were leaving the shack.Shed?The shack.The shack. We were leaving the shack where we were all hanging out with our beloved Dave Chappelle.Beloved, what the fuck is that?
Beloved, we do belove him.We belove him.
We love him.I belove him.
And we were riding home after hanging with you and the family and Talib Kweli.And then he turned to me and he said, you know what?And he just started bawling.He just started crying in the car.I'm a hand to God.Hand to God.
He was like, I'm just getting really emotional.This was such a wonderful day, a great moment in my life.It was really, really nice.He goes, I just really wish... I really, really wish that... I really wish Donnell wasn't there.
And I could agree with that.
And he started crying and I said, I wish Donnell wasn't there either.And it hit me in my chest and I said, why did Donnell show up?
I know.Because honestly, when I saw your fucking crooked feet, I saw your turkey turkey feed, right?It was like, it was like, ah, like that, right?Sticking out like that, right?I go, I wish I hadn't seen that.
Could you give me PTSD and I have to do fucking trauma work on it?
I know.Cause those are fucking nasty.I know.I know.
Would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I, would I,
When we did Burke Wright's new show, I heard about the stereotypes of Asian little Chinese looking motherfuckers, right?
And I never thought that I would be in a situation where I saw what was close to an Asian penis. And then I said to myself, and I didn't think about it, and I said, this is why they like anus so much.
It's the only place that it fits, and you know it's there.
You know what?He did really cry in the car.
I did really cry in the car.
For real, he did.I really did cry.
It was such a beautiful day with you.We had a lovely, lovely day.We had a beautiful day.And then you went on stage and you just killed it.I'm so sorry.Hold on, I'm sorry.Give him a minute.
We'll give you a minute, Dan.Give you a minute.
What's going on?Oh, we got a little birthday cake.Why now?He said there's no better time than now.Wow, Donnell, look at this.This is from Donnell.
No, say thank you to Donnell.
Did you really make this?You brought this?If a penis pops out, no, I didn't.And I know what you're wishing for before you even open that box.
No, it's not a trick, bud.
That's not one of the greatest cakes you've ever seen.
I mean, I'm listening to the song.
Where's the cake?Right here.
Oh, it's cake inside.Yeah. Is that Korean love music?No, no, no.
Let's do it again, one more time, Dan-el.
Money, you have no money.If you don't have any money, what's the second one?If you don't, sir, sir, sir, come here. Yobaseyo, Yobaseyo, Yobaseyo, E-D-Y.Money Upso, Karachogi.If you don't have no money, get the funny.Money Upso, Hopshida.
You got money, you can fuck.
This is really fancy.Who bought me this?Donnell did.Really?Did Donnell, you really bought me this?
Yeah, there's no way you're gonna go buy me this.
The reason I didn't, I wouldn't have done it because it's making you happy and I would have never wanted to do it.
I know.But you didn't even know it was my birthday today, huh?
And I would have loved to stand you up on your birthday.
Yep.Why are you so mean, dude?
You bring the worst out of me.
I know, but you know you love me.Be honest.I know the fans are listening, right?And they're going, what's going on here?The whole episode's been chaos.It's chaos, right?But let's be honest with our fans.Yeah.Honestly.I'll be honest.
I like fucking with you.When I see you, we have fucking around, we have fun.
Why don't you ever say when you have these emotions, you wanna say, Donna, look me in my eyes.Why you never say that?
Okay, I joke miss I joke it's another I joke What do y'all do this
No, no, seriously, I love you so much.
You know what, I will say that.
And we're good friends.Why do you have a hammer?Why do you have a hammer, dude?Just take a scissor and cut the tape out of it.
Salam, Hamida, I love you.
Yeah, all right, good.I don't.Yeah, you do.
No, I do.I do respect you.
You only respect me.So if you found out that I passed away, there would be no sadness?No, it would be a lot of sadness.
Only thing I would be mad about is that I don't have a picture with you where I could just do my bullshit RIP post.Oh, right, right, right.Say, this one hurt, and put the prayer sign on it.We're going to get that tonight.
If I did take a picture with you, if you died, Bobby, I'd be like, well, He'll be missed, I think.No, I wouldn't be hurt if you passed away.I don't even want to talk about that.
Pretty good.I'm going to watch you eat it.You guys, honestly, what a beautiful birthday edition. I thought that was a wild episode.It was really fun.Dude, wild.Really fun.There's so much to it.There's a lot.Yeah, it's going to kill it.
Donnell was our icing on the cake.So, Donnell, do you want to plug anything?
He has a podcast.What's it called?It's called The Donnell Rawlings Show.Okay.Subscribe to it.I go to my calendar.I don't know when this comes out.You guys come out like the next day or so, right?
Yeah.No.No?This will be out, wait.A couple of weeks.In a week.Yeah.September 30th.Check out his podcast, Jam with D. J with D. J with the D. What up?
What are your dates?You got some dates, dawg?I don't know when this is going to come out.We just said the 30th, man.The 30th?I will be at October the 4th.I'll be at N.J.Pack Theater in New Jersey.
Improv and genre, you're playing my home, Chicago.Love that club.Addison, love that club.Mothership, going to see Rogan.Comedy Zone, Charlotte.ATL, then he goes to DC and the Irvine Improv and Milwaukee.Go to DonnellRawlings.com.
You are making some money, dude.DonnellRawlings.com.I know what those rooms, Phil.Shut up!Probably the greatest stand-up we know.We love him to death.Wait a minute.Look at his eyes.
Look at his eyes on TV.Oh my God. Thank you for being a bad friend You're not gonna somebody has to help me take this off.
I will okay I can't fucking believe you right now, dude.
Don't do it There's no Is it really heavy yes I Is there a cooker?
Yeah, there was a clasp, but I think he took it off.I don't know how he... Oh, he didn't take it off.Hold on, hold on.There you go.
Gentle, gentle.Gentle that way.
Gentle.There you go.Oh my God.Thank God.
Thank you.It's okay.No, you're right.You're right.
It's fine.You're right.No, no, you're right.If you don't like it, I totally, I get it.If you don't like it, I get it.No, no, no.I don't want to.Yeah, give it back.
That's mine.You don't fucking like it.
I like it.It's going to appreciate through time.
It's going to go home with me.
You're out of your fucking mind.
You're out of your fucking mind.You're out of your fucking mind.You're out of your fucking mind.
This is a real fucking gift.This is a real fucking gift.Why would you give me a $260,000 gift if it doesn't make any sense?It makes all the sense in the world.It's a gift.
Man, that is one of probably the greatest bits we've done on this show.That was really good.
Yeah, how much was that, though, for real?
He just gave it to me.I'm going to give it back to him tomorrow.Oh, OK.Isn't that fucking amazing?Can I take it out?Yeah.How good is that bit, though?
Holy fuck, this thing is heavy.
How funny is that bit?She thought it was real.
There's no way I knew that.
For a second, I thought it was.
But hey, but everyone, give me a little credit.You bid on that.You were scary.You bid on that.
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