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Welcome back to pretty basic.
I'm Remy and I'm Alicia Marie.And today we're really excited.These are some of our favorite episodes that we ever do.And it's been a minute since we've done a lovely Q and a with you guys.And here's the thing.
We, I feel like we do like, I love these because I love feeling close to you guys.And like, there's certain things that you'll ask them like, Have I not talked about that on here?Because that's my memory, it's so bad.
Or there's things where I'm like, oh, I wouldn't think that'd be interesting to talk about, but obviously someone thought to ask it.No, literally us after we record every single week, we're like, was that interesting?Literally every single time.
If there are any specific topics that you guys want us to cover on the pod, let us know down below.
Obviously we can keep up with the updates and all the fun things, but today we thought we'd answer your burning questions and just chit chat a little bit.
So, how are you?Actually, this was a question I saw.It was Alicia and Remy, how are you really?And actually that's perfect.How are you really?How are you really?We used to say that all the time.You go first.Okay.So actually I'm doing good right now.
I feel like a few weeks ago, I was kind of down bad and like a little depressed and a little like meh.I feel like we didn't talk about that on the pod at all.I feel like it comes in waves.It comes in waves, yeah.
I think just like being more busy has helped.
I know that's not necessarily fixing the problem, but I remember hearing this years ago when it comes to like anxiety or depression, like years and years and years ago, like years ago when we were cavemen, like you didn't have time to think because you were just focusing on like working and surviving.
The way that I was just sitting on the couch for like every like day for the week, unless we were filming or here or something, I would pretty much just be like sitting.And I'm like, we all sit and have too much time to think.
Like I don't think our bodies are meant for that.Human kind's not meant for that.
Also just scrolling, like TikTok for me makes me really unwell.Like reactive.It's just, yeah, I feel like very reactive.
I feel like I'm also just like waiting for something bad to pop up, something to make me feel sad or feel upset or just something like that.I'm always on edge.
And more times does a TikTok or something make me feel even like TikTok drama, which obviously like for sometimes can be fun.Sometimes it makes me feel like gross after a while.
I'm like, this is actually like not, this doesn't make me feel good, productive, anything like that.So I feel like it just often makes me feel kind of like slumpy after.
thousand percent.The past few months I've been more into my do not disturb because it's so weird.Like I feel like it helps me when I am in that very reactive state and I feel like anything can kind of like set me off or like make me upset.
I'm like let me put on do not disturb because even though it makes no sense as a girl math in my head it's like I don't see it because it's on do not disturb.I think that's but I still see it.
Are you still like actively looking?
Not as much, like obviously I'm on my phone a lot, but I'll either, it's just, it's, it feels like there's a barrier between me and whatever it is.You know what I mean?It's so weird.It's girl math.
It's not there.When I watch shows or something, I'll, or if I really need to just like log out, I'll put my phone in a different room and then go watch a show.
Like not, cause so often I'll be on watching a show and I'll just be scrolling my email or like looking on online for something or like watching TikToks, looking at low volume, reading captions when like I'm like watching.
I know Cal gets pissed because Ashley gets pissed.Like that's her way of bonding.She's like, no, let's watch TV.And she's like, well, you're gonna be on your phone.I'm like, but I'm here.
We started a news show the other night and he looks at me and goes, this is what couples do.They watch shows together without their phone.Oh my God.But it's really good. Bad Monkey.
Are you watching?Oh, it's really good.I'll talk to her about it.She wants me to start from the beginning because I didn't watch the very first one.It's good.It's good.
It's with Vince Vaughn on Apple TV.And I love it.
It's his first TV show.Ever?Apparently.
He's usually a movie guy.I've honestly been getting really scared because like I get scared of everything.
Also, now you're watching like horror docs.That's scary, right?Yeah.I'm so proud of you.
So I just keep remembering the breakup with him and Jennifer Anderson.And then I'm like, He was in the breakup.You're fine.
He's so funny.He's in the breakup.Yeah.Wedding crashers.He's fine.He's fine.He's fine.Oh my God.Wedding crashers.I forgot about that.I love wedding crashers.
Okay.Overall though, doing better.Overall, I feel good now.I just definitely feel like we're back in therapy.My therapist was gone for like a month on vacation and I was like, it's fine.I don't need her anymore.
And then the second a month happened, I was like, hi, are you back?My life's falling apart.No, it wasn't.But it's been good.So I've been seeing her for the past few weeks.
And then I talked to my psychiatrist because I lowered my, I actually talked about this on a vlog.I lowered my medication for my anxiety down and it's been so good.
all year until I feel like the past few weeks, it was the first time ever that I was like, I regret doing, not regret, just like, I definitely won't be going lower.Do you think you'll go back up or where are we at with that now?
Right now I feel good enough to like stay.I'm not opposed to going up, but it's just so, I've also been studying a lot about like the weekly, like period cycles, the, what's it called?Like your phases.Oh, your phases.Yeah.Yeah. luteal, luteal?
Yeah, luteal, follicular.
Ovulation and menstrual.Yeah.And it's like, it is crazy.I came across one of this guy asking a doctor, he was like, pretend I'm dumb and I know nothing about periods.And he was like, to be honest, I don't know much, all I know.
And he was like, early thirties probably.He was like, all I know is from what I've overheard from my sisters or like my mom, but I really don't know anything.And it was so, interesting seeing him react to this doctor explaining.
She was like, so during week three, you know, she's going to be more like, tell her that she's beautiful.Even though she like, he was like, okay, he's taking notes.He's like, okay, tell her she's beautiful.
She was like, now, listen, she's not going to like you even saying that.Cause she's going to be like, what do you mean?I'm bloated.I'm this.She was like, tell her anyway.And so he was like, okay, so make sure I tell her no, like she's wrong.
And I'm telling her that she is like, it was just so interesting.One, seeing a guy actually care too.And then, and so like seeing that, but then also her being like, oh yeah, this week she's going to feel more sexy wine and dine her.
Like, I'm like, oh, are we, is it that scientific?
Do you feel like Did you like resonate with what they were saying?
Oh yeah.Really?Oh yeah.Especially right before my period, I'm always like, I'm depressed.Really?Yeah.
And then afterwards I'm like, oh, it's just my period, which is never just because it's hormones, but it's just so weird how every week I feel different.
And there's one week where I feel snatched and there's another week where I have so much water weight.I feel very like sensitive to each week.
That's so interesting.I feel like I'm still so new to having a period that I haven't like, felt anything like that personally.Like I haven't gotten in tune yet.All I know is I feel pain when it's happening and bloated.And then that's kind of it.
Like that's all I've come to terms with like so far.
Wait, that is weird.Cause I forgot that you just started being more regular.So you may not even feel it as much.I don't know.Maybe you do or don't, I don't know.
I'm also on a medication with my doctor where, because periods with PCOS can be really, really painful.So I'm on a medication that like makes them really light.So if anything, I just feel kind of bitchy when I'm on my period.On or before both?
I think on.I think when I'm actually like on my period, I feel like really irritated and like I have a very short fuse.Like irritable.Yes, but I didn't. pick up on that till recently.But I'm like, why am I in a mood today?
But I'm like, this is all still so new to me that I didn't know.But I'm excited to get to that point where I could like track it like that.
But I will say even me, I was in sixth grade when I got my period.I remember thinking that was so young, but it really isn't.But I remember I was like one of the first girls in my grade to get one.Yeah, it sucked.How old?
Cause I think I got mine in sixth grade too.Isn't that kind of like the normal time to start? I think that's what my mom and Ashley also started.
So it's usually genetic, but I mean, I had a lot of friends who didn't start till they were like, even like sophomores or juniors in high school.
I remember I had this blue Hurley jacket that I wore literally every day and it had a zipper here and I like had a pad there one time and then someone felt it and they're like, what's that?
And I was like, mortified.Trauma.When you started, when you were young, was it regular every month after that?
Yeah, it's always been pretty regular.
Yeah. But my point being ever since sixth grade, like I'll still be like, why am I moody?And then my period comes.So it's, you never even get it like down.Like I will literally be so, I'll be crying.I'll be like, why am I so emotional?
And then I'm like, oh, my boobs are sore.That's my first, I feel like parenting and being girls, my boobs get, like my period boobs get so good.So good.
I saw this girl that I was talking about.She was like, you, maybe it was Jaclyn Hill.It was someone that was like, you need this thing.It like gives you as, oh, she's talking about bee pollen.She said that bee pollen makes your boobs bigger.
Apparently it does.And she said that it actually works.And she was like, she's been doing it every day.And she's like, my boobs look like when I'm on my period.
Do you eat it or like put it like on?You eat it.Oh, bee pollen.I love it on my acai bowls.Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like it always comes on acai bowls.But I think she's been like, she had, it's this one brand.I think it's like the beekeepers. friend or something like that.And it's like a glass jar and yeah, she like ate all of it.
How do you even like, yeah, so I'm used to my boobs kind of fluctuating too.So I'm like, how do you, anyway, anyway, I don't know how I got on that.
How are we really, depression, mood swings, period.What do you think made you feel that, like get to that place?
I think honestly being a little more busy and like being out of my head, that's where I was going with that.
Like being- Like you weren't busy, so you feel like you got to that place and then getting busier has gotten you out of it?
Yeah, I feel like instead of thinking about doing something, just doing it, I don't want to do a lot of things, but instead of sitting and like marinating in that and like ruminating on that of like, oh, I don't want to do it, oh my God, what's it going to be?
Like, I'd rather just stay home and like that spiral.
That's your thought process to do?Yeah.
Wait, walk me through that.Let's say it's like an event, right?I made plans to go when I was feeling great.I'm like, oh my God.Yeah.Oh my God.I'm so social.Yes, let's go.
Then I'm like, okay, it's like the day before and I'm like, I have to go do that tomorrow.I'm like, I don't really want to.And then the day comes and I'm like, fuck, I hope it cancels.I hope they cancel.How do I cancel without it being weird?
Oh my God, I'd rather just stay home.Oh my God.Like everything in me, like wanted to go then, but like now I'd honestly just like rather be home with Rosie, but I don't want to cancel.And then, then I'm like, it's okay, Alicia, you can do it.
And then, Versus just like, you know, when you have a jam-packed day and you're like, I don't have time to think about my next thing until it just like is there and happening.
Or just waking up and being like, I don't really want to go anymore.I'm going to cancel.Or I'm going to like, that sounds like really exhausting to get to that place.
Most of the time I want to cancel.So when I've been trying to like push myself outside of my comfort bubble, obviously I know that comes with like growing pains of like, of course I'm not going to want to go.
Even, oh my God, prime example, I was so excited to go, but the Porsche event that I went to a while ago, I obviously was like, oh my God, I want to go to this.Cause it's such an amazing opportunity.
But I like started being like, oh my God, I wonder how this is going to be there.Am I going to have social anxiety?Like, oh, I just can't wait for it to be done.
And I know I'll be proud that I went, but I was like, I know I'm going, I know I'm going to go.There's no question about that. but it's the what ifs and then it's the dreading.
It's like the Monday scary or the Sunday scaries of like, oh, like, and then overthinking everything.And then finally, but then once it was done, I was like, oh my God, I'm having a blast.
But like, I definitely was like secretly hoping it would get canceled, but I was like, I can't because it's such an amazing opportunity.Exhausting bitch.It's just harder when you're trying to make the active steps to not
Like obviously I could stay home.I've done that before, but there's a reason why I want to push myself to get out of my comfort bubble and like grow.So those growing pains are really hard.
I'm proud of you though.Do you feel like you want to cancel these plans because of like tiredness or just social anxiety?Does it kind of change depending on what event it is?
Actually, there was a party like a few weeks ago that I wanted to go to, but not no one else I knew was going.There's people I knew, but like you couldn't go, Ollie couldn't go.
And I was like, okay, Alicia, you should go by yourself because like you should.But then the other part of me was like, I don't wanna go by myself.And then I also knew, I was like, I'm in that reactive mindset right now.
I'm gonna be overthinking everything.I'm gonna leave feeling like shit.And I was like, it's just better for me not to go.Like, it's just better for me not to. Really?Yeah.
But I wanted to, but it was more of a, I think it'll make me feel worse than better than going versus like the Porsche thing.I was like, I know once I'm done off, like I'll feel good.Like I accomplished that.And I did that.
Also like you're an introvert.So going to everything, that's like, that's too much.That's asking too much of you for yourself.
But I hate, I wish I was like a just little social butterfly.
I'm like an extrovert, but I don't wanna go to a lot of stuff either.Like, I don't think you should be hard on yourself because you can't make it to everything you wanna go to.I would never go to an event alone.
I don't think I've ever gone to an event alone.
You know who's been doing that, Ashley?
She's been killing it.I'm like, that's... so much further down the road for me, if ever.I feel like a lot of people can relate to how you were feeling.I feel like we've all been there and it's a bit of a journey.
Do you have any little tools or tactics or things that kind of helped you get out of your slump?
I've mentioned this before, but I've like been into reading more lately. Honestly, just being off my phone.I know I've said that, but I think that's one of the main things for sure.
And just being more mindful and aware of what I'm letting into my brain, what I'm putting on my body, being very aware of just how sensitive we are as people.Literally me in my pink sweatsuit right now.
the way I work from home, but I cannot wait for my work day to end, walk right upstairs to my bedroom and put on something soft, like my cotton, usually like my cotton yoga pants and like a cotton sweatshirt, something that's just like so soft, feels so nice on the skin.
It makes me feel nice and comfy when I blast the AC in my house and just like cozy up on the couch with all the dogs.
Speaking of being comfortable, we're so excited because this episode is sponsored by cotton.
Yes.And cotton is inviting us to slow down, be more mindful and choose comfort.I mean, so much of my house and my life is made of cotton, whether it's, you know, my clothing to my bedding to my other home goods in my life.
Also the fact that it's just so versatile and long lasting, you just can't go wrong with it.When I'm buying a new sweatshirt or something and it's 100% cotton, boom, in the cart, in the cart.It feels like a hug.
Cotton is a natural, sustainable fiber that just makes everything feel so right.
And everyone's like, Alicia, you only wear sweatpants.I'm like, yeah, because I can't think, like, especially sitting here, like for so long, I'm like, I just want to be comfy.
And then that way my brain can focus where it needs to be versus like being like, oh, this is itching.
Absolutely.I mean, we talked about this on Basically Unfiltered.Technically, you can feel your clothes on you at all time.Especially if something's itchy, you're going to feel that on you at all time.
Cotton, you feel nothing but a nice, soft, sweet fabric rubbing up on your skin.
Also with fall coming up, I don't know why, it's always fall when I do my closet clean outs.And so I've been starting to tackle that entire process.And as I mentioned, certain things make me itchy.
It doesn't matter how cute something is, if I don't feel comfortable in it, and if I don't feel like it like serves me, I'd rather just find a better home for it because it's just gonna sit and collect dust in my closet.
And you know what pieces always make it through my closet clean outs?The cotton ones.I'm not even kidding.I feel so good in them.I just need to like learn, Alicia, that's all you like.You like being comfortable over,
anything and there is still cute clothes.Like you don't have to sacrifice being comfortable and not looking cute.Like you can still be cute.Just get caught in clothes.
When is it going to click?I love fall so much.It's truly like my favorite season because I love the weather.I love the food.I love all the activities.And I feel like it's just a good time to slow down and embrace that cozy vibe.
I also think we need to take a moment to reset, be more mindful and choose things that make us feel good.
No seriously, whether it's like the sweats that I'm wearing right now or even my favorite jeans, like I swear the jeans that I can actually wear all day long and I don't feel like I have to rip them off the second I get home, those are always made of cotton and they're made to last and I love them.
It's more than just fabric.It's part of creating those mindful moments.I know it sounds cliche, but it is really important just to find clothes that make you comfortable and serve you and make you feel the best that you can possibly be.
So discover The Fabric of Now at thefabricofourlives.com.Thank you so much to Cotton for sponsoring this episode.
How are you really doing?
Not great, honestly.I don't act surprised, you know.I don't know.I'm okay.I'm like really busy with work stuff, which is really nice.And I feel very blessed.
And it's been, it's honestly been a lot on my plate lately, but as a scheduler, we've been sticking to the schedule and things have been good.And I kind of been taking things day by day, but personal life stuff has kind of been not fabulous.
I've got some family stuff going on, which I kind of addressed in the last episode, really working on it through therapy.And I am very proud of myself.
I'm actually going to my parents' house tomorrow to have a nice adult conversation with them about setting boundaries, which I'm still working through, but I'm doing that tomorrow.So if I have updates, I'll come back with that.
And, oh, wedding stuff has been very stressful.
I don't know.I keep telling everyone.I'm like, I don't know how she does it.Thank you so much.
Honestly, like you, Cal, like everybody in my life is so supportive and amazing.Even my parents who, even though we're going to set a boundary, very supportive, the best ever.
That's good.That's healthy though, that you care enough to set boundaries.Like that's what I've been trying to learn.Like boundaries are good and they're healthy.And that means you care about the relationship.
Because if you didn't care, you'd just be like, whatever. I want to, and I should, so I'm gonna go do that.But I don't know, as time goes on, you kind of just start to diminish things in your brain.You're like, whatever, it's fine.
You file it back for later, file it back for later.But I'm gonna do that, and I'm excited for the outcome.And I know there'll be receptive, and I know it'll be good, and this is a part of growing up.
not holding resentment towards any relationships, especially your parents.And a lot of it, I'm like working on my inner childhood stuff that I'm trying to fix.So that's been good.
Oh, but the wedding stuff has been very frustrating and I've kind of mentioned it a little bit here and there, and I won't go too into it, but there's just,
definitely people have a lot of opinions when you're planning a wedding and weddings just like, everybody always says it, but it's like so dramatic for no goddamn reason.It's a weekend.We'll all be fine.It's a party.Yeah.
And so, you know, there've been like a lot of things going on behind the scenes that just like are all fine now, but I'm like, that didn't need to happen.That's crazy.But it's all good.Other than that, I've been
Good.No, like I feel like we're both equally busy with both podcasts.So I understand that busy, but then you have like five more things happening that I'm not doing.Like personally for you that I'm not even doing.
And I'm like, I don't know how you do it.Thank you.
Scheduling calendars and planning everything out.Oh, that's why I'm always like, whatever's best for me schedule.
I can move anything.I really can.
I'm like, it'll be the next couple of busy months, but everything's good.Mine's like filming TikTok. Okay, I can reschedule it, don't worry guys.
Don't worry, like don't on me.I can reschedule.Don't worry, I'll pull in for the team.No, no, I have those days too though.I know, but my point being yours are a little more important right now.
No, no, no, we're all important.But yeah, things have been good.It's just like, you know what it might be?And I know I keep harping on this, but like turning 30, I feel like it's,
Like I, how I'm handling this current thing, which like we all have shit that goes on with our family, whether it's your siblings, whether it's your cousins, your aunt, uncle, mom, dad, whatever it is, grandparents.
Like we all have like little blips and then you can either choose to just like ignore it and brush it under the rug, which is how my brother handles everything.And I've always been someone who like really needs to vocalize how I feel.
even if it's just for me.
And so- No, but especially if it's just for you.Yeah, yeah, yeah.That's all I'm trying to learn.
That's how I've always been.Since I was a kid, I've always been like, no, I don't like that.I want to talk about that.Whereas Shane's like, eh, that's just how they are.And I'm like, no, no, I want to talk about that.
So we're just, it's so funny, because I'll complain to Shane.He's just like, nah. But I also respect it.No, I really do.I'm like, I think that's a really like nice way to live also.Like they're both just different ways to handle conflict.
And also what's interesting is with your sibling, because they clearly grew up with the same situation.If you grew up together, like me and Ashley handle things differently too.
But it's interesting seeing like between a brother and a sister and two sisters.Because I'm like, how much is him being blase?So blase.Because he's a guy versus, I would also say Ashley's kind of blase about a lot of things.
but she's older and Shane's younger.So it's interesting like comparing.
I think it's just like, I wouldn't say moral compass, but just like, I don't know.Yeah, what you choose for yourself.I was talking to one of my family members about like how Shane and I are different.
And she just goes, yeah, Shane just like chose a peaceful life and I chose violence.But that's okay.Cause like I sleep better at night knowing that I expressed how I felt.No wonder you haven't been sleeping well.Oh my God.
Say less.Filming TikToks, moving.Filming TikToks at the spa.
No, overall though.No, they're gonna say, hey guys, come with us to a spa day.The Wii spa.
You should go.I would love to go.Overall though, things are really good.I like don't wanna, my parents and I are totally fine by the way.We'll be fine.But I just, I don't know.
More times in my life also, I would have chosen, whether it's my parents or like somebody, I'm always just like, not always, but like sometimes I'm like, it's fine.Enough time has passed where I'm not gonna say anything.
But right now I'm like, I wanna say something and I'm gonna say something.
Also, I think there is a time and place for being the bigger person.I think that's something I always used to like pride myself on growing up.
But then I realized I'm not necessarily, this isn't always the case, but there was a lot of times I wasn't necessarily being the bigger person.I was just not comfortable voking what I thought vocalizing what my thoughts were or opinions.
So I thought higher of myself.Cause I'm like, I'm the better person.Versus being like, Oh, I'm actually just communicating and vocalizing my needs and what I feel.And that's not, you know what I mean?
I did that too.So much in like my teenagers, early twenties, I feel like I'd be like, well, I'm the bigger person.
I'm this, that, until I finally realized like, Oh, even with friendship breakups, I feel like for so long, I'd be like, they did me wrong.This is this until I hit an age where I was like, wait, takes two to tango.
Yes, you might've felt like they, yes, maybe they did hurtful things, but I'm sure they felt hurt by you as well.And like, in the end that friendship just wasn't working and that's okay.
But like, also you need to take accountability for what you did wrong as well.
As we were talking right now, I'm like, do I even believe in being the bigger person?Cause I'm like, obviously each other usually thinks that, you know what I mean?Like, is it just something you tell yourself?I guess it is situational.
Because like, let's say an ex best friend of mine to this day would probably, if they were sitting here, they'd probably be like, yeah, I was being the bigger, they were being the bigger person.
So it's like, and granted again, it's so circumstantial, but I'm like.
You know what?I think in some scenarios, I'm sure with the friendship breakup, maybe there were times where I was the bigger person, quote unquote.And there were definitely times where
the other person was quote unquote, being the bigger person as well.It's not like an overarching only one person's the bigger person.I think it's like also, it takes a lot of situations for most people to break up a friendship.
It's not just a one thing.I mean, some people do that.Sometimes it's one thing and they're like, I'm done.
But I mean, for me, any friendship breakup I had, it was like a lot of instances where it's like, okay, I think this isn't working out, whether it was dramatic or not.
I think it all also comes down to love languages because yeah, maybe someone thinks they're being the bigger person by,
you know, writing a letter or like having one final talk where they put it all out on the table and they're like, well, I'm being the bigger person because I'm putting it out there.
And then another person would be like, well, I'm being the bigger person because I'm not even gonna bring it up.You know what I mean?Like, oh my God.Perspective.
Or also what I've learned too is like how people communicate.
Like someone might think that writing a letter and like reading it out to this person is like very good and it might be good for them and cathartic for them, but the other person might not do well and might be overwhelmed by getting a letter and be like,
I need time to process this, but then you're not gonna get anywhere if you're not understanding of each other's communication styles.
And once you understand it, it's so much easier.For sure.Also, and this is one thing, bigger persons conversation, I don't know.
And like, I don't know if we'll ever know, but I will say, I do believe in the idea that there are three sides to every story.One person's side, the other person's side, and the truth.And that's just, That's what I think is factual.
And that honestly, like I find solace in that whenever I do have conflict with anybody, I'm like, their truth is their truth.My truth is my truth, but there is actually the real truth.
I think what's also helped in any situation like that is I feel like having the mentality of saying like, well, this is my perspective of this situation, or this is from my person.
Like I just said that this morning on a call, I was like, Hey, from my POV, this is what I thought. I love you taught me that.I love it.Cause it's less like you did this and it's more like, Hey, like this is from my POV.This is how it looked to me.
This is how it looked, whether that was your intentions or not.I was on a business call this morning and I was like, Just letting you know, this was my POV.But like, and that could be wrong.
But like, please like, feel free to, and then usually, you know, but yeah, I've liked that a lot.
No, I've picked that up from you where you're always like, whether you're having a conversation with a family member or a friend or anything, you're always like, let me get you inside my head or a business call.
It's like, let me get you inside my head.This is what it looks like to me.And it's, which I like better than being like, you did this, this, this, this.Cause it's like, from my point of view, you did this.
But correct me if I'm wrong, if you intended it a different way or if you actually did it a different way, this is just how I'm perceiving it.Are we so wise?Like what?
Pretty basic therapy.I hope so.I would have paid for this years ago.
Isn't it cool that we're sitting here this many years later?I'm sure when we started this podcast, I was like, I'm always the bigger person.
No, oh no, that's what I'm saying.That's one thing I love about doing this for so long is acknowledging that you can grow and change from perspectives.I feel like I was so immature in a lot of situations.
I still have bad communication, it's gotten so much better, but even back then, I couldn't even come to you if I felt a certain way about anything.I could barely even tell you if I liked someone. You know what I mean?
I'd be like, oh yeah, I think that guy's cute.We're at the bar and you're like, who's cute?I'm like, I don't know.I'd be so anxious about it.
I'd be like, oh my God, I'm not used to this.What do you think got you to be more confident in yourself and in the ability to say those things now?
I think honestly she's sitting right here next to me.Oh my God, wait, really?Yeah, I think you showed me that like it's not a big deal to like voice stuff.Yeah.Oh my God.I know.
I thought you were gonna say just like therapy or shit.Well, therapy, I think also just like loving yourself too and like getting older and knowing yourself more, but yeah.Thank you.No, yeah, especially then I was like, oh, like.
You've taught me to be a much softer person in the best ways too.Cause I didn't realize like I can be very abrasive.Wait, that wasn't.
That was me when I did like the, I was like really into the Enneagram, it's a personality test.I was like, oh, I'm just like the normal level of competitive.
And then I learned that like my personality number or like the one I got is the most competitive.And I was like, oh, I thought everyone else was just out to get me behind their back.Like.
Like, I truly was like, oh, I thought that was a universal, like, everyone feels competitive over things.Like, I thought that was normal.And then there's you who's like, not competitive.
I've never felt a bit of competition in my life.
And then I was like, oh, like, that's a problem.And it's just like, nice to be aware that like, oh, Alicia, like, not everyone thinks that way.
But I do think like being competitive is a good thing.There are so many things that I'm like, I wish I cared.I wish I cared, but I, so I think it's a beautiful thing.And like, that's why competitions exist for sure.
For me, what the problem was, was I like, I always saw it more as like,
me being competitive with myself, which like obviously can like be, I mean, I guess with other people or yourself can be bad too, but I feel like my like self, I'd always be like, oh, you piece of shit, like do better kind of vibe.
So I feel like that would put us, hi, we're doing a Q and A. I will say, I skim some of the questions.We skim some of the questions and I actually think we've hit a lot of these.There's like friendship, let me, let's just like,
Let's say some of them.Okay, yes, yes it is.Best and worst things about mixing friendships with business.We kind of talked about that.
I will say, yeah, we talk about that I feel like in every Q&A.And I don't know if I have like a best and worst list.I mean, best thing, we share a bank account.So it's really fun to go shopping.
I know you're being honest.No, it's so fun.We're like PB, PB.I think what Mimi, your PR person, what she means to say is that we've been able to grow in so many ways together as friends, as well as business partners.
And we've learned so many business ventures together, such as managing monthly budgeting.
Just know, it's not like we do it all the time.It's like once in a blue moon, we're like, oh my God, this is so fun, like a PB excursion.So let me put it that way.
Another thing is, and then we've always said this because we do this podcast so much, obviously, having a business together and being best friends, we definitely, like we never want to come in and record when we're,
having a bit of a tiff or having some resentment or like something's building.So it does force us to like face these things head on much quicker.Like we can't let things fester and we can't let things go and brush things under the rugs.
It's good to be like, okay, well, if we're recording next week, like in the end, we want it to be good before then.
And not that the podcast is over our friendship, more in a way of like, because of our friendship, we want to make sure that like everything is good with us first, then secondary can be work stuff.But yeah, I'm very grateful for that.
Cause I think it'd be very hard if we were like, we'll talk like, I don't know.After the pod, like we always talk like before the pod and then we're always like really happy.Yeah.And we're like, I feel so, so refreshed and like good about everything.
Or also like, I feel like I have, there's always been, I can be like a avoidant type person.So if I don't have quote, like not like a deadline.It's just really hard for me to bring something up.
I never want to ruin someone's mood or like make like it awkward or anything like that.
So if I can push it, I will, even though that's not the best thing, but that's just me, which doesn't shock anyone probably to my anxiety, but, um, having like a, Oh shit, well, we're. working together on this day, like wanna make sure it's good.
I think also from what we've discovered is like, you often feel like you burden people with your problems and like no problem you could ever have would ever be a burden.Nothing that you would ever bring to the table could be a burden.
So it's like good to talk about those things.I mean, we all have our little things for sure, but I'm like, it's such a good thing that we are not forced to, but kind of forced to talk about those things.
And like, and it's been such a beautiful thing, but it's also not that I put it in the worst category, but it is challenging for sure.And like, it's taken us a long time to get here.
I feel like the first few times it was more of a, like, it was more like really scary.I think for me, it's specifically really fucking good to have like a, okay, shit, I have to
deal with this and not in a, I have to deal with this more of a like, yeah, just like, okay, you can't put this off.You have to like, you can't put this on the back burner.Like this is important.You have to talk about it.
Oh, we keep talking about also, and this is something that I'm learning, especially like in a relationship and getting ready to be married.
Sorry, real quick.Everything else you were saying at the beginning of the pod of like how you're doing, I'm like also add in like getting married.Like that's a huge- Not even a wedding, which is like wedding.
It's like, you're getting married and like, you need to strap the fuck in.
You're in a huge transitional time right now.Thank you.It's not just turning 30.It's like the whole next chapter of your life, honestly.
Cal and I are gonna start premarital counseling also.I love it. Honestly, Cal and I have zero problems.Like I'm being so honest, it is such a healthy relationship and we're very good at communicating.
But I do think it's very just important in general for any couple.
Yes.And I think that's even, not that it's even better to go in for that.I think it's like, again, my best therapy sessions are when I don't think I have anything to talk about.
Cause then you can get to root problems versus just band, not band-aids, but like, oh, like they hurt my feelings this time.And I think it's like, I'm so for, counseling even when you're good.Like I think it's best.
For sure.And I've like realized that growing up and we, again, what I was saying earlier is like everything stems from childhood.
The house that I grew up in and how we handle conflict is, I thought that's how everyone handled conflict until you realize as you get older, oh my God, everybody handles conflict very differently.
And Cal and I came from the most opposite sort of dealing with conflict.
You and Cal are very similar and I'm from a very different background and one is not better than the other.It's just understanding that like, oh, not everybody deals in this way.
Not everybody is able to be as vocal about how they feel or what's bothering them.Like it takes people sometimes longer or maybe what I'm saying is like, it comes out too abrasively.
So I've been really working on that and like understanding how people want you to communicate and how people will react better to your communication.
I think you nailed it with like, that's how, more mature or adult friendships, relationships are, where it's less of like, I need this from you, more of like, oh, how do you need this from me?
So even though I am a, let me sit and process this forever, I'm like, well, Remy actually would appreciate me to be more prompt with like how I feel about things, because that helps you better versus me being like, yeah, four weeks ago, you said this, you'd be like, what?
Because we've been there years ago.
have understood now that you need more time to process.And so I- Maybe a week.
Maybe we could find like a happy medium between the two of like, so we both feel heard and seen and soothed, but also no one's having to completely like drop how they are for the other person.
Because that's how more animosity builds.
And then again, opposites attract for a reason because clearly, it's just funny that I grew up where, not that you don't solve conflict, but we don't really talk about, Ashley and I, she's never yelled at me in her life, which is crazy.
I've yelled at her. That just goes with our personalities.But like, even that was probably like twice in my life.
Like it's like, we just never, we just like, if one of us annoys each other, we just become passive and we'll just like push it down and like deal with it.And like, we'll get over it.Like we're just like, we're more like Shane in that way.
Like whatever, I'll be over it eventually.Like I'll be like, ugh. Anyways, what do you want for dinner?We're so weird, but that's also not healthy.In many ways I can list off, so it's just funny how opposites.
Oh, I came from a family where it's like, you are upset, you get it out, and then you're like, fine, right after.But that is not how you guys are, and I also understand.
So you want nothing to do with me, we're no longer friends.Okay, perfect.Like that's how I, which is so, I hate it.Which again, going back to your question of like, how'd you get over it?
I feel like having a friend where I realized like, oh, I can voice what I think and it's not gonna be the end of the world.Or like, I can like be mad and frustrated, but still love someone at the same time.
Like, I think that was also a, and like know that the other person still cares.I think that was such a weird like thing for me.
For sure.Yeah, you talked about that the other day of how with other friendships, if you got into a fight, you would think like, oh, we're not friends anymore.
And well, usually cause it ended in us not being friends anymore.Which like now I can like, again, I thought I was being the bigger person.I was like, oh, I like couldn't voice anything.Like I would like just stuff it down.
But I understand how, if that's how you felt, then it's like a ticking time bomb.Like anything that you're saying could be the straw that breaks the camel's back.
It almost felt like a curse.Yes.It almost felt like a curse of like, oh, well, whenever I do say what I feel, like they're going to leave.
I've had friendships where you feel like everything, you're walking on eggshells constantly and that is not good for you.
It's also not fair though to that person.
I was gonna say, for that person to feel that, they must've fucking hated me.
You know what I mean?No, like it sucks to like- We just weren't compatible.Yeah, but yeah, it's all communication and it's so cliche and everyone says like, the key to a good relationship is communication and they say that for a reason.
but communication isn't easy.It's like, again, everybody has different styles and I'm understanding that.I was like, oh, we solve conflict right now, right now, here and now.And like, that's it.
And then we're good after, but it's like, no, some people need to process and feel things and that's okay.And like, that's healthier, honestly.
The amount of like, I will have fights in my head with people. And then I'll be good.And I'm like, I just need to get that out.But I'm like, or I couldn't like, like, it's so bad.Like, it's so bad.I've gotten so much better.
It's like, you know, they say anxiety, you worry about it twice before it happens.And when it happens, it's like the same thing.That concept is the same thing.But when
you don't voice your feelings because then, yeah, you're sitting with that hatred and that person has no idea.They're like, la-di-da.And then I'm over here like being Mr. Scrooge or whatever.And then just like deteriorating inside.
Cause I'm like, oh my God.And then they like maybe look at me weird one day and I'm like. I'm like, and then I'm like, I have all my receipts.
They probably just had like a flinch, I don't know.
I think also when you do hold things in and have like the fights in your brain, then whatever, like you need to do what soothes you, but then you can't blame the other person if they do it again because you didn't express it.
And there's a right way to express it.That's like, it's like so many step after step after step.
And I think the biggest thing that was like being self-aware enough to realize like, Hey, even though like to realize one, not everyone works this way.
I think that's the first block you come to as you get older is like, Oh, the way my family was raised and I was raised. not everyone is raised that way.So then you come to that.
And then you also come to like, okay, well, even though I don't like this about me, it's important for me to tell my loved ones that like, Hey, this is what I need.Like, this is something that I need.Like, please help me.
You know, like, Hey Rem, I suck at vocalizing.Like if you could ask me questions or something like that would help me.You know what I mean?
We've started doing that.Like more check-ins instead of like something happening, like one time, a big blow up.It's like, Hey, how are we?
Are we good?Yeah, yeah, yeah.Hey, like, and it's just, it's so interesting.And I, I don't know, I just feel so grateful having like a mature friendship because I feel like there's been times where I hadn't.
And then I have actually, I always think of you, I probably sent this to you because I'm that friend who sends friends like so many reels and TikToks.I love them.I don't expect a reply, but like, I'm just like, hee hee.I always reply.You do, you do.
I appreciate you thinking of me, I do.
But there's the one where it's like, no one talks enough about adult friendships.The one after like the big friendship, like blow up that you never thought you'd get over.
you like have a mature adult friendship or the one that's with you through college, through the rest of like, like more.No, literally.
And I'm like, it's so true because like, obviously it didn't work out with other friends in the past, but I learned from that.You know what I mean?And that's the same thing with dating.
Like obviously like it sucks for it not to work out with someone, but like you learn so much from things.And oh my God, again, PB therapy is just so wise today.I'm actually going to therapy tomorrow.I love it. What's today?Wednesday?
No, today's Tuesday.I'm going the day after.
Wait, sorry.I'm going Thursday.Cause I don't know my days.It was, it was the holiday.
Next question.What's our favorite food?No, I'm just kidding.We go for something really light.No, I love that.I think that we should do that more often.I mean, honestly, both of us were like,
Normally I feel like we're like we're good because we usually are good but like things have been not as great lately and that's life.Oh my god I never updated everybody my brain cyst is the same size 1.1 centimeters everybody so we're good.
Everything's good.Yeah we named her Celine the cyst.She's up here.I look and if you do have a pineal cyst or pineal cyst, whatever it's called, it does affect your memory.And my memory has gotten so bad.So I'm blaming it all on Selene.
Well, I wish, I don't wish, but like, at least you have an excuse.
I wish I had a pineal cyst.I was, maybe I have one.No, I just like, I might, but like, at least you have an excuse.We MRI together.No, literally, hold a hand.Beep, beep, beep.And an open one.Beep.
but with the fucking brain thing on, the head cast, skull cast.
I haven't gotten one, I don't know what an MRI is like.I mean, I know what it's like, I've just never done it myself.
It's crazy that we are so technologically advanced, yet I still have to go into this giant machine with my head in a cast, and I have to sit there for 20 minutes while it's dung, dung, dung, dung.
Have you seen one?Like Ash just sent me this reel literally yesterday, like of a fish getting, it was either a CT scan or an MRI.It was so cute.They had it in a sponge sitting upright.It was so cute.What kind of fish?Was it like a goldfish?
I don't know.No, no.It was like kind of a big fish.And I'm like, I don't wonder why they did that.I did see that.It's so cute. He's a beautiful fish.Beautiful.An angel fish receiving a CT scan at the Denver Zoo.Oh, he looks so happy.He's at the zoo.
He's at the zoo.The little fish was on a health treatment plan and is now back to swimming and it's home.He's literally in like a big Tupperware thing.
And then on a blanket, there's like this big sponge that they sliced open and he's sitting there just like a taco.
And you know what?It's probably moist to keep him hydrated.Yes, so he's like fine. That's so cute.That's definitely a CT.You said CT.CT, yeah.That's definitely a CT.Because it's pretty big.The CT was amazing.CT was so easy.The MRI, so much worse.
Oh, dang.I'm sorry.But I'm so glad Selene is fine and good.Selene is good.And I forgot to update everybody, but thank you so much for... all of your prayers.I'm happy for you.Thank you so much.
You're welcome.You know those days where you just can't seem to get out of the funk?Well, I've been there more times than I'd like to admit.I also have just been waking up exhausted and it was totally ruining my productivity for the day.
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Again, just go to bioptimizers.com slash pretty basic and use pretty basic to save 10%.Trust me, you're going to love it.Next question, even though the first question was 45 minutes.
How do you, it's another 45 minutes.How do you put yourself back out there after your long-term relationship ended?
This is the advice that I wish someone just sat me down and gave me, because I think for years, and I wish I wasn't exaggerating.No, sorry, I'm not exaggerating.I wish I was exaggerating.I think for years, I expected to find someone
who I felt with right off the bat, how I felt at the end of my long-term relationship, because I was waiting for, not necessarily that spark, because you can get a spark early on anyway, but I think I wrote off a lot of people because I was like, oh, well, I still liked my ex so much better, or I was like in love with my ex versus,
And like, you can't compare someone who you were in love with to like a guy you just met.Like, it's not fair to you.Cause obviously I didn't feel that way about my ex in the very beginning.You know what I mean?
Like, I feel like I only have one long-term relationship that I got out of versus like dating someone who I don't know that well.Like, so I feel like I just wish, I wish someone sat me down and was just like, just go on dates.Like, don't compare.
anything to your last relationship.And also like, even now when people are like, what's your type?I'm like, well, this is like what I think my type is.However, like it may have changed.And also on top of that, like, I'm not opposed to like anything.
I think it's so easy to be like, oh, like, I don't know, be so rigged about certain things.
I feel like I did the same thing.I've never been in a long-term relationship.Oh, except for Cal, but like outside of Cal, but I, there was one guy that I was like so into for the wrong reasons.But I do think when you end something, amicably or not.
Honestly, like even if it didn't end up well, I do feel like you remember a lot of the good things or what you think are the good things and then you take that into everybody else moving forward.
Even like with Cal, I was dating him for a few months and I still was like, oh my God, but like the other guys were like this and that.I'm like, get out of, don't compare people.Everybody's different.
You would hate, granted it's easier said than done, but you would hate if someone was sitting there comparing you to somebody else.
It is human nature and it is just a part of dating and things, but it took me a little while to like get out of that headspace
especially after the honeymoon phase where you're like, oh, okay.Like, it's just, it's, I don't know.I think don't compare, don't worry about a timeline.
I know everyone's so struggle, like focus on timelines and stuff, but like, don't worry about that.And even for someone like me who overthinks like crazy to where like, it makes me more paralyzed where I don't do things or just like frozen.
I wish I wouldn't like not, and this may be toxic advice, but if you're like me, this is good advice, to not worry about the future.
Don't worry about, I'm not gonna say the repercussions, but just go and live life, and then if something happens, deal with it later, versus someone like me, who I'm like, I'll meet someone, we date, we've already fought in my head and broke up in my head, versus before even just being fucking friends with them.
Like it's so bad and that's why I hate dating and small talk and shit because I'm aware that I do that.
And again, sometimes I wish I wasn't so self-fucking aware because then I would be able to like, like just think everyone else was the problem and not me, but clearly I'm sitting here being like, oh, this is something I need to work on.
Like I need to, it's okay just to be present and like relationships and friendships and then see where things go and just let it, let what's going to happen, happen versus like overthinking to where you don't do anything.
Cause that's, I wish someone just shook Alicia.Bitch slapped me.
Maybe would this make you make it easier if you went and started to overthink about whatever, whether it's dating or in general, like you start to overthink, I guess this is more applying to dating, but if you were to go on a date and overthink, if you were to flip the switch and think like, oh, if they were thinking that about me, I wouldn't like that right now.
Like, would that help you at all?You think?Wow.
To think of someone else other than me. No, like, I think that's the thing with anxiety is you're never present.
So I think that's why I was saying like being present helps of just being like, just focus on, focus on being friends, focus on like finding a connection.
It doesn't have to be like, I know it's better to date, I guess, looking for marriage, but I think that has actually made me more like scared because it's like, so like serious, so serious.
So like a commitment again, being more of a avoidant type, I'm like, just like fucking be in the present.And like, Who cares if, not who cares if you get heartbroken, but yeah, like it's just life.Like just like figure shit out, you know?
Let it ride the wave.I remember when I first started dating Cal and things started to get kind of serious, I got freaked out too.I was like, oh, I don't actually know if I want this.This is like a lot.
This is a big commitment.
I was just like, yeah, like, I don't know.And I remember I called my aunt and she was like, Remi, calm down.It's not like you're going to marry the guy. And which is so funny, because obviously I'm going to marry the guy.
But for like a very long time, I was like, she's so right.Like, why am I thinking so far ahead?
Like, I'm having fun.So yeah, you're not going to marry the guy.Exactly.And if you do, amazing.And if you don't, that's fine.
But then if I do, I'm going to be like, remember that time on Pretty Basic where I was like, I'm not going to marry him, but I should have listened to what I was thinking back then. I'm kidding, this is me, this is me going and like, it's just, yeah.
I hate my brain.Also, this is like to each their own, but I personally think it's easier to get over someone by getting under someone else.But also if you don't want to do that, that's fine.
Just like talking to new people and like having people on a roster or whatever it is that you want, like distractions are good.
My favorite thing ever is like when people are like, oh, are you dating anyone?Or like, what's new?I'm like, oh my God, so this guy, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And I'm aware that it's not even drama, but I'm like, no, I just like having drama to talk about.
It's not even- I love boy drama.
I'm just like, oh my God.And then he said this and I'm like, what the hell?Like, ew.And then they're like, so you don't like him?I'm like, no, that's not what I'm telling you.I'm like, I'm just telling you that I have drama.
Yeah, because it's like, it sucks, but it's also like so fun.No, it's fine because I like- It's girlhood.I had one friend be like, oh, I just don't think you like him.I was like, no, you're not hearing me.
I obviously don't like him.
Yeah, I'm like, no, no, no.But what if I do?
Yeah, then you get defensive.
Next question, which I saw you post this on your story, so this is good.It was like, Rem, any update with the dogs?Are they still fighting?
Update, I'll make it short and sweet.Thank you so much to everybody for praying and for wishing for the girls to get better.They did.Things are so good.Long story short, I read a couple of books.
If you guys are interested in, a lot of people go through similar things.I've gotten so many DMs from people about this subject.And I read a couple of books, so I'll link them down below for you guys if you want.
But they're just basically, in my research, I found out that Actually, what I thought was aggression, which I mean, was actual real physical aggression, anxiety in dogs can manifest in different ways.
It can manifest in aggression, it can manifest in other things.And so once I found that out, which I do wish the vets had told me that, it's okay. I went to the vets and I was like, hi, I actually think it might be anxiety.
I think that they're both just incredibly anxious dogs.And I think it's over territory, it's over me, it's over whatever it may be, whatever triggers them for the day.And so we got both the dogs on anxiety medication.Everyone's medicated.Woo!
And so, and like, it doesn't show in their lifespan.It's like totally fine for them to be on.And ever since they're both, they both been medicated.Everything has been so good.
Little did I know that that was probably just what was causing the aggression.And so things have been a lot safer for the dogs, most importantly, safer for Cal and I. And yeah, everything's been good.Yeah, dude.It was bad for a second.
I truly was about to go over there and like Luna would be gone one day.I would have like seriously like helped you find another home.Cause I was like, look, obviously no one wants that.And I know you would never want that to ever happen.
But I was like, especially getting married, me thinking in the future, I'm like, when you have kids one day, like what's going to happen?You know what I mean?Like we got to.
Well, a kid can't get caught in that crossfire.It was crazy. but things are better.I'll link the books below.Talk to your vet.If you guys are, if you have a pet who's maybe being aggressive, there's a big chance that it is anxiety.So all is better.
Thank you for asking.What is your favorite thing about each other?And what is your biggest ick about each other?
Not me having an ick come to me right away.I'm so sorry.Lay it on me girl.You already know.So you're not going to be triggered by it.Okay.You guys. Anytime I'm in the car with Remy or we're watching YouTube videos, she cannot finish anything.
It will be 30 seconds in, new.And I'm like, I was watching that.I have the attention span of a squirrel.And then it'll always go back to like the aquarium something.And I'm like, so you want to watch that?
I've gotten better because you've made me very insecure about it.And I'm very aware when I watch things, even if I want to change it, I'm like, nope, keep watching.
I'll be like, so into someone's morning routine.And then she's like, anyways.And then so just, I'm like, oh, I was like, we were only a minute in.
I don't think I've ever just sat and watched a YouTube video.Like I need to be doing my makeup, cleaning my room, eating.Like I can't, I have to be doing something while watching YouTube specifically.
So I specifically, like if we're at your place, we're watching YouTube.Like I'm aware that like, I'm gonna, watch some of those videos later when I go home.
But it's fine, because I'm also like, I would never want you to watch something you don't want to watch.
I really tried to get better though.I'm actively fighting it in me to not change it.
It's also not something that bothers me enough to like, next time it happens, don't be like, oh no.
Or even like the board game. I'm trying to get better.I've never, but I never did that again because she held me accountable.Okay.What's an ick I have for you?
No, I have to say something I love about you.Oh, okay.I forgot.I mean, there's so many things.Okay.Like, honestly, you're just like genuinely, like no matter how much shit you have going on, like you will still make, make it about me.
I didn't mean it like that.I meant it like you're such a good friend that like, even though like your world could be crashing down and burning and you'll still be like, but how are you?
And I'm like, oh my God, if it was reverse, I wouldn't even be able to think of other people breathing.If my world was not that your world's crashing down.
But I think you're very, you're so generous and so aware of other people, even if you're like hanging on by a thread.And I think that's such a strength because to me, I'm like, oh my God.
That makes me happy because I feel like that's a conscious thought I have to like continue to show up for people no matter what's going on in my life.Like I never want a friend to feel like I'm not.
So that means so much that you think that- The amount of times I'm like, you can cancel.I'm like, you, hey, like I'm chilling.Like, please, like, this is not important.I hope she canceled.I hope she canceled.No, no, no.
I'm just always like, oh my God, you have so much on your plate.
Like, it's okay to like take time for you.I appreciate that.And like, when you text me those things, no one ever says that to me.So thank you so much.I'm like, I have one person that I know.Yes, we have a dinner scheduled.It's okay.I appreciate it.
Thank you.My ick about, you know what I'm saying? Start low and high.My ick about you.This is such a good question.Just say you leave your trash everywhere.
I knew you were going to say that.That is also one where I actively like, so you know how much I leave it?Just realize how much more I get rid of it because I'm aware.So that means like, that means I try, but I just don't fulfill it.That's okay.
It's not a friendship ending for sure.But I will say to my defense, you'll start cleaning up before like you're done eating.So I'm like, oh, I was gonna get it.
Or my trash pile, like her and Ollie love making fun of me, especially forever at a hotel, I'll have a trash pile. But the trash can is a foot away from said trash pile.But that's ADHD for you.I'm like, no, that's my trash pile.
And then I will throw that away.
But why can't the trash pile go in the trash can?
Because to me, I see it as that is the trash pile.So I'm being productive.Like, I'm like, oh.It's better than.Yeah, like if I, versus everywhere, I'll be overwhelmed cleaning later.
So I'm like, if I make a trash pile, then it'll be easier for me to obviously put all that trash in the trash.But I see how from anyone else's POV, all they see is trash.But I'm like, no, it's my trash pile.
You know what, it is respectful that it's in a pile rather than scattered. And I will give that to you.
But will I throw shit into the pile?Yes.
And eventually I feel like you do put it in the trash can.
I do, but knowing you would love it in there sooner.
I think I get it there.I get it to the trash can before you can get to the trash can.
Or I'll be like eating and then you're like picking up.I'm like, oh wait.
No, my favorite was the, my favorite trash pile incident was just watching you and you would just, your trash pile was behind you.So you were just throwing shit behind you in a corner.I was like, trash cans. Right there.
Trash can's in front of you, you're throwing it behind you, girl.But that's like another little thing that I love about you.Some would say quirk.It's funny that you said before that you used to view everybody as like trying to compete with you.
That was a really funny thing you said.Cause I do know when we first met, you were like that.But I really wasn't with you though. You're like, you're so far beneath me, it wasn't even a fucking competition.
I keep saying shit that makes me sound horrible.
Maybe other people were competing with you, so you felt that way.
I never got the energy of you that I couldn't trust you.Where I feel like other people I'd be like, ooh, I don't fully trust them.Like, are they only friends for me for my best interest?So it's competitive.Yes.
Versus I feel like I actually felt a genuine friendship with you.That's what my PR meant to say.My PR, my publicist, I don't have one, my publicist.
I was gonna say, well, I do, no, no, no.But I do think you apply this to like everybody in your life.But obviously speaking from firsthand experience, you're the most supportive friend who shows up for literally everybody.
So I am like, so hearing that was funny.And I, we've talked about that.So obviously I knew like at one point you had
that sort of thought process with other people, but like whether that's gone forever or just it's with certain people, like you are the most supportive friend that shows up for everybody, especially me in literally any way, even in this wedding planning stuff, like even though you don't even know if you're in the bridal party yet.
I don't know. And I would never, even if I wasn't, I wouldn't be sad.I mean, I would, but not in that way.
Every time we go to like try on a dress or something, all of the people are like, oh, like, are you in the bridal party?And she goes, I don't know, but like, you'll drop anything to come with me, so I'm not alone.
Bridal stuff aside, literally anything, like you are always just the most supportive friend in the world.
Well, thank you, but I'm, okay, the other day we went somewhere, I'm not gonna say where, and I'm not gonna say what we purchased, but we did purchase something for the wedding. And it was so last minute, you're like, yeah, do you want to come?
No pressure.And I was like, bitch, duh.And then I was like, imagine if I wasn't here, you'd be buying this by yourself.That's so, not that it's sad because it's like, it's not sad, but I'm like, I would want someone there with me.
You know what I mean?It's exciting.I appreciate that.But also like when you're, when we've gone like 20 times, like it's not as exciting anymore as I understand.
Oh, I was just going to film TikToks, like hello.Me with my tripod in the corner.You forcing me to do two TikToks that day.We got our content.And I got my Katoi TikTok.No, I'm kidding. That's so funny.
I think a lot of the competitive shit I just outgrew because a lot of it was a deep-rooted, we love therapy, was a deep-rooted issue of me not feeling good enough on my own without my work.So then I, that was a huge thing.
I mean, we talked about that so much at the beginning of this podcast.I'm like, that's not you at all anymore, at all.
But in some ways I'm like, Alicia, be psycho again.
Unleash your inner psycho.Unleash your inner psycho.
I was like, I used to be so good.I'd upload so much.I like, but granted.But then we burnt out.I know.And you know, she probably wasn't that pleasant to be around.
No, you were fun.Me choking on the word fun.You were fun.No, you were so fun.But I do think you, and we would always talk about like, we want you to find your worth in other things.And you did.
Yeah.And you did.So it's nice.But in some ways I'm like, you should try a little harder. A little harder.
No, because think about how when you were sitting on this, well, we were in a different studio, but like years ago, you're like, I just want to care less.You got here.So celebrate that.You're so right.Celebrate that.So let's go back.
Same with Momo and Luna or what are their names?Luna and Daisy.Same with Luna and Daisy.Yeah. Yes, right now I wish they could go back to playing and having fun, which they do every once in a while, but they used to play all the time.
But I'm like, no, all I ever wanted was for them to stop fighting, celebrate this, they'll get to playing again one day.A win is a win.
They were playing the other day when I was over.
They were, it's just like, they used to play like every day, like five times a day.Now it's like once every couple of days.
But we'll get there.Luna, like hitting the two year mark, the dogs become so much more calm.I think she had all that puppy energy.
Oh my God.Okay, maybe one final question. Wait, I'm dead.Remy, if you could set Alicia up with another influencer, in parentheses, besides Zayn, close parentheses, who would it be?
That's funny.If you were to date a YouTuber or influencer, what kind of content would you like them to make?
I don't care.I feel like you used to always like send me random TikTokers, like date him, date him.Ollie just sent me one the other day.
There's so many TikTokers that I see, like random TikTok men that I'm like, oh, he's her type. She would love this.Hmm.She would love this.She would love this.I think it just depends.
Like, but here I'm asking because I'm like, but what life do you want?You know what I mean?Like, this is where I can't overthink.Like, I wish I could just, but like, okay.What's your dream scenario?Like, are you wanting to travel a lot?
Cause then I'll put you with a travel blogger.Are you looking for like, like eating challenges?Cause I'll put you up with my new favorite YouTube guy.You're so right.
Um, preferably not eating challenges.Um, because I, my self control is a little like hard sometimes.And like, that would have to be hard for me. Travel's great, but I'm gonna be honest, I'm not much of a backpacking type person.
I'm sure that's such a shock to everyone listening.So if we're going to Italy or something like that, down.But if we're doing a 12 day backpacking trip up Everest, then no. Okay.
I will put you with, well, so like, what do you want to do?
I want to like, I don't know what I want to do.My life?I want to have kids.I want to lay by the pool.I want to be like the hot mom.Okay.I want to be a Sierra Furtado.
Okay.I can't think of anybody, but please comment down below who you guys think Alicia should date.
I'm really trying to thank you guys.Wait, I got a DM from someone recently and they were like, hey, I'm so sorry if this is weird, but like my brother is single.And I was like, oh my God, send me his info.Wait, no, I love that.I know.
Ladies, slide in the DMs for any men you know.
I think you should date Austin Swift and then we can go to every Aristore show that we want to go to.Is he single?I don't know. Slide in.Oh, I think you should date Glenn Powell.Can we call him an influencer?He goes to the Allo Gym.
I think he would intimidate me a little too much.Glenn Powell?Yeah, because you know why?There'd be these fucking hot models in his DMs and I'd be like, yeah, cool.Okay, I'm literally like- No. Let's be realistic, Remy.
I'm just saying, if the girls in his DMs are fucking supermodels, okay, and then me over here, I'd look like a toe.Which, like, that's fine.If he's into toes.If he's got a foot fetish.Then, like, me with no makeup, with my hair in a bun, done.Done.
No, we went to Japan LA.And we were- They gave me a sitting sunny angel, everybody.And they were so sweet.The owner was sweet.The social media team was so sweet.And we had a few people come up.It was a Mr. Miyashita meetup.
Next time I have a meetup, it'll be at Japan LA.It should.Oh my God.It was so fun and so cute.But we'd come from Pilates and I looked rough.And then I was looking through our tag.And here's the thing, like, I don't care that much.
I'm not someone who's like, oh my God, I can't take a photo with you.I look ugly.Cause I'm like, no, this is me. And I looked through my tagged on Instagram and one of the people we had met posted, and I'm not kidding y'all.
I literally looked at Remy and I go, maybe I should try.Like maybe I should try because I looked so bad and it was so bad that Rem looked and actually started dying laughing, which means I was right.But do I know I'm beautiful on the inside?Yes.
It really wasn't that bad.It was just the way that you said it.
And I was like, you look fine. No, I'm like, no, like be honest.And then it's like when your mom's like, you're beautiful.And you're like, no, but like, be real, be fucking for real.My glasses were up.So my bangs were just kind of out.
I'm sure I can still find it.So it looked like a bowl cut with like a rat tail pony extension.
It was just a bad angle.No makeup, nasty.Like I'm not kidding.I was like, Alicia, try.Like Ashley, when we go to the gym, she'll like spend 10 minutes in the locker room, like brushing her hair, putting face.
I'm like, you're already like damn near engaged.Like you're dating someone you have no one to impress.You'd figure I should be the one who like tries, okay?Wear a hat at least, glasses and a hat.
Oh my God, this was actually really sad because the other day I was, I was, at the pool and I had glasses and these glasses that are like big aviators and a hat on.And I was like, oh my God, I look so hot.So I was like taking selfies.
And then I realized like, I'm saying I look hot because I am covering half my face.
If you were feeling yourself, no.
Also like eye makeup changes everything as it is.
I know, but like, okay, I can't just cover my face.I'm like, wow, I'm feeling myself. Yes, you can.No, and I was like, oh yes.I was like, wait, yes.
And then it hit me, oh, you only see my mouth, like my chin.Also like you and I, I would love to get hot and go to the gym.Like the girls that put their makeup on and go to the gym, Whitney Simmons, Claudia Walsh.
No, they look gorgeous, but why are they, how do they not break out?No, remember when I had that gym crush?Like a long time ago.
Oh my God, wait, I forgot.Oh my God, he was so hot.And he was someone I could like picture my life with because like he had such a cool job. Oh my God, I was like, wow, we're gonna be that hot couple.
I went from wearing no makeup at the gym, and it was like a small private gym.Oh, pretty much, bitch.Oh yeah, I was like, do, do, do, do, do.And then God forbid he wasn't there.
And I'd be like, I wore this for no, I should have, I was like, I wore this for no reason.And then, but if he was there, if I saw the car, I'd be like, oh, thank God.I'd pull in.
And then was it worth it?No.
It made me feel something.He was cute.He was hot. He was really hot and funny.You should follow up.No, last I heard he was in a relationship.Sad.And I'm not gonna lie, I did stalk.This was years ago.I stalked and she was like such a hot girl.
His coworker was my substitute teacher in high school.He was also hot.Really?Yes.You should date him.
Me.Hey, you thought you saw the last of me.
You should.Oh my God.You should do that.
Wait, I don't even know if he's at the same job.I think he is.
I'm gonna follow up.I'll let you know after.
Anyways, can't wait to have a ring on my finger next week.
Well, thank you guys for watching.Thank you for listening.Comment down below.Oh yes, an influencer that Alicia should date or anybody, or if you have a brother.So she's really desperate.
So like anybody works. She's desperate, like put something.Okay, we gotta go.Bye.Bye.Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services.
Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.
