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Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractible.This episode, Waxy Wade loves jacking bowers with pineapples, defends Tepez, and forces his friends to rate rascals.
Ballester Bob loves drilling deep holes, crushes on a cannibal, and is unimpressed by the undead.Martian Mark bucks up for Black Day sales and gets aroused by ennobled aliens and Arnie.From ruined apertures to wet wallowits, Yes!
It's time for... Movie Villain Awards! Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.
Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Distractible.I'm today's host, Wade, because I am just so good at telling short, terrifying stories.
If you've never joined us before, one of us hosts, the other two compete for points, and the person with the most points, typically, at the end gets to host the next episode.The games, the rules, the points are all arbitrary.
The host decides how it works within reason.I'm joined as always by Mark and Bob.Hey guys. Hello.Hello.How are you?Oh, oh, oh, what are you?Oh, this guy, Bob, asking us how we are.Yeah.What?Glad to hear it.I'm good.Great.
Thank you for that normal human response.That's what they call me.Normal human, Bob.I'm good, too.Not that anyone asked.No, nobody asked.That's fair.I should have.That's my bad.I will immediately remove points for myself.Thank you.
It doesn't make it better, though. You lose a lot of points when you host.Usually do.You guys don't take them from me, so someone's gotta.What do you want to know, man?What do you want to know?Lay it on me.What's new in your lives?Small talk me.
How's it going?What you got going on?If I say movie stuff, will it lose me points?
I think Bob and I agreed it's only lenses so far that lose you points.Well, I guess I could talk about lenses a little bit.Please make my day. God, don't do that.That's too easy.I felt that.I should have just answered that in the last one.
One sentence follow-up?PLEASE.I heard the doorbell ring.PLEASE.That would make everything instantly scary.Should I talk about lines of this show? Do you have new lens stuff to talk about?
No, no, but I wasn't talking about using them when I was doing the pickup shots and like having them because I have a set now of the same lenses we used on set and they're just fucking incredible.And I know I don't care if it loses me points is fine.
That really is all the talk I've been talking about how they like they just make the image.They just make it like they make there's something about it and it's not something you can replicate in terms
The light passes through them, refracts, image made.You get it.You get it.Yeah.
It's just like, I really appreciated having them because also from a performance perspective, some of those lenses perform better than most modern lenses I've bought in terms of like their close focus and like their, their aperture and just like the, oh, it's just, they're gorgeous.
I can't deny.I was very happy to have them.
and I know they were expensive, and the way I got them took a lot of extra time, because I got them, you know, I bought the actual lenses, I got them rehoused, and then it took like a whole year to get that back, but having them just makes- Oh, man.
Buh?Buh!Isn't it nice when things are made for quality more than profit?I mean, no, they were- the people that made them, they made them for profit, trust me.Fuck.They made them for profit.Capitalism has a point now?
Yes, capitalism has all the points, but yeah, using them just, oh man, it just made me really appreciate what they are and how they are.I had one of the lenses, really rare one actually, this was a while back.
They came in through the mail and this guy, you know, it was, these are some of the rarest lenses, so they're like expensive.And he shipped it in a single layer of bubble wrap and some newspaper. Just the loosest wrapping you could have.
When I got the box, I tipped it over and you could hear glass.The whole thing shifted because the lens was just rolling around in there.There was no padding.All the newspaper got flat.The single wrap, bubble wrap was done.
I knew it was going to be bad.I took pictures as opening it.I opened it and the whole front element was shattered and all of the shards of glass had been scratching the inside. non-broken elements.It was ruined.
I was really sad because this lens that will never be made again, that there are only less of in the world, lost one lens because this guy who should appreciate it and sell it, shipped it internationally from Japan and it just did not pack it for the trip.
It wouldn't be sufficient if you were sending it a state over.It definitely wouldn't if you're sending it across an ocean. Like, it was just, it was sad.I was very sad.Yeah, that sucks.It's okay.I got a refund, but it's, it's what it is.
Yeah, but you know, there's a finite number that does suck.Yeah, that's what made it, that's what made it really, really, really disappointing.Just like, there's another one gone.And then someday they will all be gone.That's it.
That's the only lens stock I got. What about you, Bob?What's new?No new lenses.Same lenses.Same prescription?Yeah, same prescription.Still rocking it.
I built cabinets and now I think I can do woodworking, but the cabinets were from Ikea and I didn't count as building.I just screwed them together.No, that's pretty much woodworking.I think you qualify.Oh yeah.
I mean, I did use clamps to attach the faces together.So they're kind of built in lower cabinets now and they're all lined up.They look real nice.They're off camera over there.Keep looking at them now.
I'm pretty sure I can do any kind of wordworking I want.It's funny you mentioned that.I'm going to buy a bunch of tools.Yeah.You know, get into some stuff.
I have a shelf near like our TV setup and like one shelf has like some holes that like some cables run to like a projector set up so the cables run there and there's a shelf above it that I want to put like some of the electronics or console or something on but it has no way to get there right now I need to put like some holes in there so you could help me make my shelf good I don't even know if that technically counts as woodworking
You just literally need to drill a hole, maybe with a small hole saw.That would be working the wood for me.That's just using a drill.That's just really one thing, basically.
This is so weird because Amy just asked me about a hole drill bit, a circular drill bit just five minutes ago. They're called hole saws.It's a saw you put on your drill.
You need to get multiple cables through, so like some HDMI, some like outlet, so on and so forth.The problem really isn't the cables, because the problem is the heads, because the heads are really you need to have.That's what I mean.
Yeah, they got to fit.But probably like an inch and a half or a two inch hole saw.And you could even buy a grommet if you want to be fancy.Is he one of the Muppets?Which is just a little plastic sleeve you insert.Yeah, and a Muppet.He's a Muppet.
He's a Muppet who holds your cables. Oh, right.I'm going to give you a grommet point.Anyway, I mean, I could do that for you, but I think you could handle it if you really wanted to.Oh, I don't really do stuff.Oh, come on, man.
You could do it, but it's drilling a hole.And then there's dust to clean up and a tool to put away.Well, you just do it outside blows away. I don't know if that shelf comes out.It might be built in.It's trickier.
Oh, that's a little bit more of a pain in the ass, but they just need a vacuum.Just vacuum it up.And all the electronics underneath have to be removed and put back.That doesn't sound like woodworking.I'm not doing that in any case.It's not my job.
That's another department.You're going to get me in trouble.I got to get an electronic mover.I got to get a woodworker.I got to get a vacuumer.It's starting to add up in price.You need some PAs.You need some grips.Is it Ryobi days?
You could get a whole bunch of a whole bunch of stuff.Is it Ryobi days? I'm thinking about really going all in on RYOBI days.It's not currently RYOBI days, I don't think.I think we passed it, didn't we?There will be another big sale, though.
They always have like a holiday sale for RYOBI stuff.Oh, man, I got to be on Black Friday's or Cyber Monday's software sales.There's so many pieces of software that are so unbelievably expensive that go for like 90% off on Black Friday. Really?
Oh yeah.Asset packs, always asset packs, sound effects libraries, all things like that.I slept on them last year, but now I'm like, I want all the asset packs, all the sound libraries.
There's this one sound library that costs like $10,000 for the complete library.Jesus.I slept on it.It was like 80, 90% off last year and I didn't buy it.And then I was like, cause when am I going to need all these 5.1 surround sound sound effects?
And now I'm working on this and I'm like, fuck, I wish I had those 5.1 surround sound sound effects.That would be great.
Oh, man Yeah, maybe if you were making some kind of movie that might be important Yeah, it's like a lifetime license and it's like yeah, so over my entire life I would have probably never use all the sounds in there But man, I gotta get it this time could just start putting extra sounds into videos and stuff just cuz you got them Yeah, I mean that's basically what we do and YouTube and here on editors hit them with all your sound effects
Easy there!Now my fade-out sound!I don't think... Now my fade-in sound!God, do you know what Evangelion is?Yeah, that guy who's really old who tries to sell you Bibles on TV?Close enough.Yes, you got it.
Okay, so then you know what Ed, Edd n Eddy is, right?I'm picturing something weird already, yeah.Oh, come on. So many other cartoons that have tried to do the mini sound effect things never get it right but Eddie oh god
When I hear that horn, I always think of the Lost Boys whenever the vampire gets hit by a car.I don't know that one.Kiefer Thutherland?You don't want Kiefer Thutherland?Kiefer Thutherland?Kiefer Thutherland?He was Jack Bowers in 24.Um, okay.
You alright? I don't remember what I lost my first point for, but I just took away another one for Kiefer Sutherland.Kiefer Sutherland?All right, Ryobi days, woodworking.Got some good stuff here.Anything else going on before we jump into the topic?
I got a juicy one today.How juicy?Potentially very.What fruit?Oh, the juiciest.You don't know a fruit, do you?Yeah, I do.Uh, a sparrow lime, bra, brunetta.I prefer lime aragus.Green pineapple.What?You know. No, say it again!Green...pineapple?
Pineapple?You didn't say that last time.That's not a kind of fruit at all.That's not even two kinds of fruit!Tomato? There you go.Cool.If you guys don't have anything else, we'll jump into our topic.I really don't think I do.
Mark had some really good smallpox.Thank you.He did have some really good smallpox over there.I'm going to stay away.Kiefer Sutherland had smallpox.I really enjoyed your small talk, Mark.It was sad.The lens one was sad, but also interesting and good.
That was a good bit of go.But yeah, that's the only one that's really broken.So thankfully, I've been pretty lucky.There's been some that have arrived in subpar condition. It's pretty good luck for stuff that's fairly delicate.
Oh, the only other thing that broken was that art piece lens, the cutaway one.Oh, that guy was a prick about the refund.Well, that sucks.Oh, well, I always meant to fix it someday.But then, you know, I never got around to it.
And I lost some of the pieces that it's hard to fix people that are pricks like that.Oh, no, I'm not going to fix that guy.There's no fixing that.I could fix her.OK, go for it.Do it.You won't.We right.
Alright, so to jump into today's topic, what I will do is tell you that it is still terrifying, spoopy season.And what we're going to do is we're going to have the scariest awards show known to mankind.The Tonys?
Not that terrifying, but still pretty bad.But we're going to have the Halloween award show today where we're going to go through and I've got a list of awards and you guys are going to debate who is the most deserving of each award.Yay.All right.
Me, probably. We got some golden ones on here.So let's see.
Let's start with just based on like no knowledge of what they've actually done, but either, you know, looking at them or hearing about them, which horror movie villain would you think just based on like basic information would be the most likely to succeed?
Like that high school award, the most likely to succeed, you know, the person that you're just like, they're going to succeed in life.Does it matter if in their genre or movie or whatever they were in, if they succeeded there or not, or?Nope.
This is not based on their accomplishments at all.It's just like going in, you see this killer monster villain, whatever, and you're like, they seem like they're most likely going to win.Like, how do you stop that? I'm a little out of my elephant.
I don't know.I'm not that well versed in like horror characters.So I'm really that's okay.You can just go with ones.You know, you don't have to like reach too far.I'll thought outside the box.Why do I not want to say the S is today, man?
I don't know what happened to me.I don't want to ask today outside the box.It happens. I got some options here.Okay, you say most likely to succeed and the thing about that award is the person who gets it very rarely ever actually succeeds.
So I want to nominate, it started out as a radio play and then it was a movie with like Tom Cruise in it.What's that called?Aliens?Yeah, aliens, tripod aliens. uh, the day before, after tomorrow, War of the Worlds.War of the Worlds.Yeah.
So the aliens from War of the Worlds, they had all the opportunity in the world to succeed.All odds were that no one on earth could stop them.You know, they had everything going for them.And yet Oh, man, viruses, whoops, single cell organisms.
Oh, how did they overlook that?You know, everything would have happened if there's ever de sex machina happening.It's right then and there.So they were most likely to succeed even over like
The Independence Day aliens who could blow up cities, because it's like they made their computer systems hackable by like 1990s computers.I think they deserve that.But War of the Worlds, you know, that's that's just unfair to them.
They were so successful in what they were doing.And yet, ah, man, I got the flu.I do like the thought of Independence Day aliens not renewing their Norton subscription.That's why they lost. War of the Worlds aliens, though, you're right.
I mean, they were just like dominating.They're like, Oh, I forgot my flu medicine.If only we had vented life support.And their machines also seem to get sick when they were piloting the trap.I was just like, woozy.
And the whole thing is like, it's just like, come on, that doesn't have an autopilot in there or something.I don't know why I'm rooting for them, but, you know.Oh, that's fair.Most likely to succeed.That's what I would have put my money on.
Good nomination.Bob, you have a nomination to add to the list.I don't know a lot about this franchise, but I do know this character a little bit.
I would say Hannibal Lecter seems like he's really got his shit together just in general in terms of succeeding in his nefarious ambitions, but also like as a person, like he wouldn't be like a good. friend.
He seems kind of uptight, kind of wound up kind of person.But like, I would not be surprised if he had a very successful like career, very successful life.
It seems, you know, like he's got it all sort of figured out and also just is a bit of a cannibal.I mean, he was a good friend to Clarice, just nobody else, I guess.He's smart.He's very, like, sophisticated.
Like, he's very sort of charismatic character.Like, he just he's got a lot going for him, you know, he'd be a pretty successful guy.
It's like a double because he was most probably most likely to succeed in school too because he was so smart and became like the super therapist that everyone respected well-renowned Successful financially successful and killing he had a lot going for him.
Yeah.Yeah, I forgot that he is like a he has a career He's like a therapist or whatever, right?That's a thing about the character.I mean, it just seems like he was successful.Oh
Alright, between those two, let's just stick to those two, since those are the first two nominees you guys came up with.War of the Worlds, Aliens, and Hannibal, who most deserves the award for most likely to succeed going in?
And your candidate doesn't necessarily like if your candidate wins, you win, because otherwise you guys are never going to agree.The thing I would.
detract about mine is that it's not one it's like it's a whole race and the problem with like a villain is you really should be able to put one face to it so i would i would detract from mine about that but also i'd be like they were very likely to succeed
Yeah, I do feel like the aliens fumbled harder, like they had way more in terms of advantages, but then also, whoops, the common cold.
I mean, if you just have the setup of like one person serial killer versus entire advanced alien race dominating humanity, you would say that the alien race is more likely to succeed at the get go if they get their setups.
They had enough prep time, but they didn't. needed to get those vaccines.I can't believe they didn't think they needed to worry about smallpox.Always get some.I love our smallpox callbacks.Oh, yeah, we did.Oh, wait.Yeah, we did.That was the thing.
That's that's true.He's not just making that up.I might personally lean War of the Worlds aliens unless I can be convinced because, man, they fumbled hard.
I just feel like the tone of the whole award is very Hannibal, like that he gives off the vibe of was definitely most likely to succeed in his high school senior yearbook.You know what, that is fair.That sort of is his character.
Mark, you have any input either way?No, not really.You know, the more I think about it, the less I'm like, clearly they were just like, this is what we do.We're taking this planet.So it's like you can't fault them, right?
Not trying to sell myself short, but. Because they're basically us to every other species.And we're not villains.Pretty much.There's no way we're the bad guys.All right.Well, you know what?We'll give it to Hannibal then.
Hannibal is most likely to succeed.Yeah.Most other villains in my mind just, they do succeed.So.
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Did you know the holidays are in like, like a little bit, like coming up, which is why I wait till about, I don't know, December 10th and I go online and then I'm like the first thing I find that makes me think of somebody I'm like, buy it, send it, ship it, done.
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Let's go with the best smile.And you can interpret this in multiple ways, as in like the most horrific smile, actually the best smile or anything in between.Pennywise got to be up there.Oh, Pennywise.Pennywise got a great smile.That's a good one.
I don't know the entire lore of the movie.I do feel like the smile from smile.Pretty good smile.If you know what I'm getting at.I haven't seen it.I haven't either.Let me look it up.
The basic gist of the movie is like the main character, Dr. What's her face?Cotter sees a very crazy traumatic incident involving a patient.
and then starts experiencing like freaky experiences and is like pursued by a thing that's just trying to like horrify her.And it's the smile, the smile.It keeps like popping up on different people's faces.
I think I have not seen the movie, but that's the gist that I'm getting. The actors, at least the clips I've seen, and I saw the trailer, Smile 2 is supposed to come out this year.
The clips where the people are doing the smile, and it's kind of like the thousand yard stare smile, it's like the weird.It's very creepy.It's very good.It's very effective.I guess, yeah, for the category of best smile, you can't live without it.
But Pennywise, great smile. The fact that Bill Skarsgard can just do that is pretty impressive.And Tim Curry did a great one.I mean, yeah, there's some good smiles.Can I share a, I Googled smile.I'm just going to share one here that came up.
Warning, scary, gore, terrifying, something, warnings. Warning, whatever.It's the most scarring thing we've ever seen in our lives.It might be.I mean, it's unsettling, to say the least.All right.It's very fleshy, muscly.It's gross.
Look away for a moment if you don't want to see.Oh, my God.Oh, he's so happy.Oh, what am I looking at?The smile entity.From the movie?No, I don't know what it's from.It's called the smile entity.It just showed up in search results.
The Smile Entity is the entity from Smile, I think.2020 horror short film, Laura Hasn't Slept.It's 2022 film's adaptation, Smile, and it's upcoming.So yeah, it is this one from Smile.Yeah, Laura Hasn't Slept is in the Smile universe or whatever.
That's pretty awful.I mean, that's a really well done whatever that is.I love the multiple rows of teeth coming down like that's horrifying.That's a really done whatever the hell, you know? I'm not gonna lie, I was all in on Pennywise.
Now I'm 50-50, because that, that added with the smiles that Bob was talking about, those are a pretty potent combo.It reminds me of the grunt from Amnesia, with its, like, mouth, like, stretched down here, except more teeth going down.Yeah.
count at least five rows of bottom teeth oh man if you look up more pictures of that thing there's a still frame i've found of the whole creature standing over oh man yeah gross that's something i can always appreciate practical effects in horror movies that's uh that's that's yeah that's that's no good i was settled i'm not anymore
So who's our winner between Pennywise and the smile entity or the smile villain smile?That just depends on what you mean by best smile, because like that's one hell of a smile.Yeah, I mean, nicest smile.Not that one. Most pleasant smile?Uh-uh.
That's what's up for debate here.The reason I still like Pennywise is because, like, it straddles the line of, like, it's a clown?I don't like that, though, you know?
If you want to just go, like, absolute most horrific to look at, for sure, that smile, while still qualifying as a smile, I think the smile entity still would be the most horrific, but still is technically smiling.
Have you seen Bill Skarsgård without makeup do the smile and like do the lip thing and oh god it's so good.I don't know it's up to you judge.I'm torn too.I feel like I buy the Pennywise argument.
I feel like Pennywise is like the smile I think of like that was the first one I thought of when I read this was Pennywise.That's gotta mean something so I'm gonna give this one to Pennywise.Fair.I'm upset that I made us see that and I apologize.
Um let's go with best dressed. Got Freddy Krueger with his fedora.That's always classy.This is a weird image, but can I pick sort of a classical villain, but from a comedic?Anyway, look, Dr. Frankenstein from played by Gene Wilder.
I feel like he was quite the dapper man.Iconic, too.Very, very.I feel like that's an iconic, like mad scientist look.The whole wardrobe that Gene Wilder sports in that movie is.But that's not strictly horror because it's funny.
But speaking of Gene Wilder, if you consider Willy Wonka the villain of Willy Wonka, which some people do, he was impeccably dressed.That's true.Wonka does not is no slouch. Yeah, but I can't say that that would be my absolute definitive answer.Okay.
I would say, I mean, again, Pennywise is up there, but I mean, if you like clowns, you could say that.This is a very classic mad scientist-y look.I will give you that.Oh, it is THE classic mad scientist look.
Yeah, all mad scientist looks were basically based off of that look.
I especially like he has like the smoking jacket with the big like velvet jacket with the big lapels, but then he's got the black mock turtle neck with the lab coat like he's got all of the looks.
Oh, what about in Inglorious Bastards, the main Nazi guy played by who's his name?Incredibly menacing villain, always impeccably dressed.Landa, Colonel Landa.Yeah, Landa. Who plays him?Christoph Waltz.Is that his name?
Yeah, Christoph Waltz plays Colonel Hans Lanta.He's got all of his buttons.He's got the garb perfectly pressed.OK, he mostly wears the SS uniform in general, but like the black trench coat and especially the pipe he smokes in the opening sequence.
Yeah, pretty strong.Look, pretty iconic.I was thinking someone like Count Dracula, the classic, like Cape, well mannered, like, I don't know. That's what came to my mind first and foremost.
Trying to think of like more villains that actually wear clothing because most of them don't.Or it's like Jason who's got rags on and I'm like, oh, you can't really can't really do much with that. I'm gonna toss mine on there, too.
I think we can go with those three great doctor I don't know how perhaps a front rock and Frankenstein from young Frankenstein Frankenstein versus Colonel Hans Landa versus Dracula.Those are our three contenders for best dressed.
No, there's got to be one more We're missing.Oh, um, American Psycho, Jason Bateman's character.He did love his clothing.He was quite the fashionable man.Actually being conceded is like his old character thing.
So yeah, Hannibal could be on the list to Hannibal was always very put together.I would say American Psycho guy Joker Joker always had a classic look.I wouldn't say best dressed, but it's just a suit like iconic look.
Maybe best dressed feeling going with iconic look rather than just like looking most dapper. This is a tough one.
I got to look up, like, a list of characters that actually... What was that movie where there's, like, a girl robot who's supposed to, like, protect the little girl that she's assigned to, but then she turns into, like, a murderous little girl robot?
What is that called?Not Annabelle, is it? Um, maybe yes.Megan, Megan, she's like very, I mean, I'm not a good assessor of women's fashion, but like she wears like a very nice looking like suede coat and she has like dresses and things.
She looks like very nicely dressed the whole movie, which is part of why it's so creepy.But I got a lot of people on this list now.I looked up this list and it's basically everyone that we've already listed because there aren't that many.
Sort of the whole villain thing is not necessarily dressed the best.Megan, Patrick Bateman, Dracula, Hans Landa and Dr. Frankenstein.We got to pick one of them.I'm partial to Gene Wilder, but I think I'm just a big fan of that movie.
Well, I found one.It's not a horror movie, though.Does that matter? We're kind of being a little loose with it.OK, Persian Emperor from 300.Oh, shit.Yeah.
Not horror, but it's not like horror, but it's like horror adjacent in all the like sort of like body horror.I don't know, like weird sexual stuff.There's like a lot of there's a lot of stuff going on there.Yeah, but the look.
OK, I'm going to limit this down to three here.Dude, the voice that they get for Xerxes to with the whatever they did to that actor's voice, because I'm pretty sure that's not just the natural voice.It is correct in a way that is very satisfying.
Yeah, I would love to know how they did that.Xerxes as a character is awesome.Here's our three final three.Dr. Frankenstein, Dracula and Xerxes.Which of those three wins best dressed?Hmm. Two of them are kind of classic set the stage.
One of them is more modern, but my God is he like look the part.Yeah, I feel like Xerxes is just a whole in his own class.Yeah, he's also not very dressed to be honest.He's mostly naked and that's true.He is adorned.Yeah, he's adorned.
I think if you had to really pick who's actually a villain, well, Count Dracula, I guess, depends, but Dr. Frankenstein, definitely, probably not a villain.Xerxes, not a horror movie villain.
Count Dracula, or Dracula in general, being one of the most iconic, and if you think of fashion, I think that kinda does win.He wears a cape.You know, we are underplaying how cool capes are.Yeah, that is true. He wears a cape because he's so pale.
Well, Xerxes also has a cape, but it's like it's barely doing anything.You see those hints of it behind his rippling abs.The suggestion of a cape.So you're saying you think Dracula, though?I think it's probably got to be Dracula.That's probably fair.
I lean that way too, and I know it was my suggestion, but like, that's just the one that came to my mind.Pennywise came to mind, Dracula came to my mind.People wouldn't be too upset.Can I just throw this out?
I think this is a bad one, but I can't get it out of my head.I like the way in general that Chucky is dressed.Oh yeah.But not in that it's like stylish or anything, but just that it's like... It's iconic.Effective and iconic.
Cause it's like, it's just little kids clothes basically, right?But it's creepy because of what it is and because it's so iconic. But I don't think that's really what we're looking for.I just the whole time my brain was like, say Chucky, say Chucky.
Oh, it's a good one.I would agree with Joker again.It's not.Is it a great outfit?No, but like it's iconic.This is movie villains, right?This isn't like who's best dressed at the prom.This is who's best dressed a movie villain.So that's true.
Dracula is good, though.I think Dracula just makes sense.Plus funny voice.Uh. Woodbang.Woodbang?Like, we woodbang?Yeah.We're good at hitting wood.Most bangable villain or monster.I know who Mark picks.Who?Oh.
I think the practicalness of that would make it difficult.So not technically most bangable, I guess.Not with that attitude.You know? Nah, not really.Pre or post transformation?Post.
Hands down.Two hands down.Way down.I don't even think that would be my answer. ALIEN QUEEN FINAL ANSWER FROM ALIENS.Xenomorph queen, okay.Xenomorph or not?Nah, I don't think that either.Um... You said final answer, I don't know.
You locked in the answer, that's the final answer.So sorry, Mark, but you did say lock it in.Oh, shit.Uh... Oh!Oh, it's not horror, though.Can I just say, though, Angelina Jolie as Maleficent?Sure.That's true.
Or Angelina Jolie as that, uh, Beowulf monster thing.Or Angelina Jolie. I don't think she's a whore.Anyway, just Maleficent in general, the vibe, I would say that's very in the same ballpark as Lady Dimitrescu.
The vibe is just very like she would step on me or something, you know, like it's intimidating.So our three contenders are Xenomorph Queen, as proposed by Mark. Maleficent, played by Angelina Jolie specifically, and I threw Lady Di on there for Mark.
There is Beowulf Angelina Jolie, but that's a whole different thing because I think like some demon monster, but the whole point of that character is to tempt the people that try to kill her.But also she could probably kill them, but I don't know.
I already locked in my answer. You did, you said final answer, locked it, like you really tied all of our hands.I'll toss another one I thought of in there.Was it Syl, Natasha Henstridge in Species?
She was like, her whole thing was going in like, tempting men, and then... Oh, some like, robo lady?I remember being robo.Alright, so yeah, this is just a, this is an alternate universe version of the Xenomorph alien, because this seems H.R.
Gagarin's.Well, that's after she like, transformed, but she walks around and just looks like... Oh, there's nipples!Oh!What the fuck is this?
Bob, who do you think between Angelina Jolie as either Maleficent or Beowulf, Lady Dimitrescu or the Xenomorph Queen?What a list.I know.The Beowulf character seems too obvious, almost, I guess.It's a little on the nose.
It's just Angelina Jolie, mostly naked.I kind of get where you're coming from with the Xenomorph Queen. Thank you, I... I kind of see what you're saying, I think.I'm not going to count that out.
You know what, for our audience, I'll just say it's Lady D. We'll move on.See, I wouldn't agree with that.I wouldn't agree with that.I think I get what Bob's saying.
But isn't the Melissa Vincent movie... I haven't seen it, but doesn't it kind of like make her not the villain?I haven't seen it either.I don't know.I just assumed it would be some kind of like, here's my tragic backstory. Oh, wait.
Well, this doesn't really count.Can I throw in an honorable mention?Sure.Sigourney Weaver and Ghostbusters, because she gets possessed by Zuul.She's the gatekeeper.Sure.In that moment.Yeah, that's a good one.But she's not she's not like a villain.
She's not really the villain.Yeah, but she's like the embodiment of the villain.And like Sigourney Weaver. Yeah.Fair enough.All right, let's move on to the next award.Most Derisive Villain.Ginger Deadman.I got it in first final answer.Locked in.
He's right.Yes, yes, yes, yes.I don't even have another answer.He's right.I submit Ginger Deadman from Ginger Deadman versus Evil Bong specifically.Oh, OK.Very derisive in that movie.
I think he actually got less derisive because he had someone to sympathize with.In that case, I'll give it to Ginger Deadman.I think that's the right call. Yeah.Unless... What?What's the Insult Comic Dog's name?Uh, what is it?Uh, what's his name?
Triumph!Unless Triumph the Insult Comic Dog is a villain in some context that I'm unaware of, then maybe I'm in with a chance here, huh? I'm really villain though.Good argument, but I think just ginger dead man Unfortunately ran away with this award.
Yeah fair enough.Yeah, right Let's go with this is a play on mr. Irrelevant, which is like the last draft pick in the NFL draft We're gonna have mr. Slash miss irrelevant, which is an award that goes to the worst villain.
Oh It's the absolute worst Tragically bad sad probably doesn't stand a chance just like you know what this is to you for being in last place The Bye Bye Man.I don't know.
I've never seen the movie, but I'm just going to go with that on gut instinct alone.What is this now?I've never seen it, but there's a movie called The Bye Bye Man.
It's all part of the same genre of movies where it's like, oh, don't look at the thing.Oh, don't think about the thing.Oh, the thing's coming to get you.You can't stop that thing.It's one of those things.Is The Bye Bye Man just Jared Leto's Joker?
Yes.Let's go with yes.Speaking of Jared Leto's Joker. Oh wait, I've got mine for this.So this is tough because in the right context, this is absolutely not an irrelevant one, but in general, can I just say zombies?
There's yeah it like what's that Brad Pitt movie like World War Z zombies where they're like fast and they climb the huge thing But like it by and large zombies kind of are more like shot of the dead zombies where you can literally just walk quickly past them and it's like they do pose a threat but more so if you're Stupid than because they pose a serious threat to you.
Is it a problem?Yeah, no, that's fair using only biting and grabbing attacks if you get high enough AC they can't touch you yeah That's what I was thinking.So let's go bye bye man versus zombies.
I think, yeah, if you think of zombies as a whole, I guess, yeah, zombies makes a lot of sense.I feel like zombies is one of the only villains where you'd be like, yeah, they're a villain.
But also there's a lot of zombie stuff where there also needs to be another villain or else there's no story happening.They're not enough of a villain on their own.They're just like a side issue in the thing, in the story.Yeah, for sure.
all right i think we agree then zombies are the irrelevant villains let's go with lady killer the best lady female monster or killer or villain xenomorph queen lock it in Some I think of, Exorcist Girl, Linda Blair's Exorcist.
The Ring Girl would also qualify.Samara?Samara, yeah.Terry?Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.Is Godzilla canonically female?
Godzilla is described explicitly as male according to Wikipedia.I will say, destroys entire cities just because we woke him up.Pretty manly behavior.
Wasn't there like an egg plot point in one of the movies or was that just like the American one that no one really likes?I'm not sure.These are good questions.I don't have the answers to.
What's the one where the girl's like dating the guy and her family is trying to like, oh, get out, get out.Yeah, the lady from that. The villain in that family is like the whole family or in that movie is like the whole family, though, isn't it?
Yeah, she's pretty bad.Yeah, but it's like her mom does the hypnotizing and her dad.And it's like all of them.Yeah, they're all bad.That's fair.Natasha Hintzridge and species again, I would argue she's pretty terrifying.
I mean, I think it's got to be the xenomorph queen.God damn it.I shut up.Got him. If you guys agree, how do I argue?The You Were Right Award for killing the victim who most deserved to die.
God, we hated that person and we were so glad to see the villain kill them. Huh.So it's a villain killing someone else.
Yeah, it's like someone that's like so stupid or so evil or just so blah that whenever they got killed by the overall monster killer or whatever, we were just like, honestly, fair.See, this requires a little bit more knowledge.
Yeah, I'm trying to think of specific times when a villain killed someone who was also a secondary villain in the story. I mean, in the movie Carrie, the Boldies at the end get killed.Fair, fair.They deserved it.
I don't know if this counts as a horror movie.I think it was scary as a kid, but it's like a movie I love now and don't really think of it as scary.But fucking Dennis Nedry in Jurassic Park, man, he fucked up everything.
He ruined that park so I never got to go see it.That's a good point, yeah.He ruined a lot of things, yeah. I don't know if this is probably in one of the many movies.What about Jason Voorhees originally killing his mom?
He kills his mom because her neglect led to him drowning and becoming what he is, right?Comes back and kills her.That's the general. I mean, the counselors killed him, but like, I think she forced him to be there or something.
Yeah, there was a whole thing.And then she's like, the voice in his head is always like, Jason, get up, kill them.Yeah.Yeah.Okay.Jason's mom.I think she's a villain who deserved it.I don't remember her death.Did she die at the end of the first one?
Yes, I believe so. I don't know where that is in the things because I don't watch those movies, but that's his lore.Also, I guess if he counts, isn't one of the Riddler iterations the Jim Carrey one?Doesn't he kill a bunch of like douchebag elites?
Oh, man. I've not seen that movie since I was a kid.I don't remember.You know what?You brought up Hannibal earlier, his therapist, the doctor.
Then at the end of the movie, it's like I'm having an old friend for dinner and it shows him like on the run.Chilton, Dr. Chilton.That's not going to ring any bells for me.No, I got nothing.Because I see the movie, A Sons of the Lambs.
No, I want to put him on here.I think he deserved it.
Apparently the Riddler I'm thinking of was much older Paul Dano's Riddler in the Matt Reeves the Batman and he killed a bunch of corrupt Gotham like politicians and people who are twisting running the city and stuff Yeah, no, I don't want to commit to that one.
I think that's all we're gonna get for this one It's just such a specific category Okay, I'm gonna go with the ones I've got written down here.Jason's mom, which I don't know exactly how she dies, but I wrote it down.
The Dilophosaurus who killed Dennis Nedry in Jurassic Park.And Dr. Chilton, after being a real dick to Clarice and Hannibal all throughout, finally gets his comeuppance at the end of the film offscreen, but we know it's coming.
I think the Jurassic Park one makes a lot of sense.I like that one.That guy was villainous, an asshole.No one liked him.And the dinosaurs were, you know, the human element being what it is, but dinosaurs were definitely like the bads in the movie.
Not that they were bad, but just like they were out to get people.They were the problems.They were just trying to live.And Dennis cut them loose and they did what they do.You know, it was all Dennis's fault.Yeah, it's really his fault.All right.
Villain with the best one liner. Oh man, Dr. Freeze, final answer locked in.Oh, I have another Arnold character, but I was going to have a whole discussion about it.Is he a horror movie villain?Which one liner do you have to pick one?
Because he has like everything he says is a one liner.Man, this is going to call me out because I don't remember most of them. Oh, well, there's one specifically.Ice to meet you.Yeah, ice to meet you is the one.Chill out, you know.
I gotta throw out a bonus one here.I play Party Animals on YouTube.I've been recording a series of it.And in Party Animals, there's this little ice gun you can pick up and like you shoot it and it freezes people.They can like slide off and die.
And every time I get that gun, every time I pull the trigger, it's it's going to be a cold winter.It's going to be a cold winter.Spam the ice. All right, well, so another Arnold character.
It's fair to say in the first Terminator movie, the Terminator is the villain.Yes, absolutely.And I would argue that I'll be back is possibly one of the most iconic movie lines of all time.But it's up there with the Mr. Freeze.Doctor.What's doctor?
Is he a doctor? for watching. No, that was a great movie.What do you mean?It was fun.But man, is that not like the Batman movie people think of?They're like best bat.
You think of like best Arnold Rolls, Terminator, like Predator are definitely up there along with some of his other action movies.I don't know that Dr. Freeze comes up.Was that the one where he had nipples on the Batsuit?It might have.
Yeah, it was, wasn't it?It's also with what Bane, who was like a scrawny guy who got pumped up Uma Thurman's Poison Ivy. Oh, that's an iconic one!It sure is, isn't it?Like I said to Lady Freeze when I pulled her plug, this is a one-woman show.
I don't remember that.I don't think I've ever actually watched the movie, I'm gonna be honest.I think I gotta give it to Terminator, man.Okay, Terminator, yeah.It's hands down, no question.
Also talking about Arnold Schwarzenegger, it comes from a story that Bill Hader tells, but in the movie Collateral Damage, there's a scene where Schwarzenegger has a important line.
There's a room with like a locked door and he just like out of nowhere while they're trying to get in, it's just like, there's a bomb in there.And it's just the fucking funniest one line ever.It lives in my head forever.
But Bill Hader tells a story because apparently Bill Hader was like a PA on the set for that or something. This episode is brought to you by Batman Arkham Shadow, available only on MetaQuest 3 and 3S.
I'm just excited to be able to use Batman's gadgets.Shotglove punch the Rat King.Just the bat versus the rat.That's going to make for some really good headlines.Become the knight.Batman Arkham Shadow is included when you buy MetaQuest 3 or 3S.
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Copyright 2024, Mondelez International Group. Alright, we got time for one or two more.This should be a quick one.The most moist villain.The wettest villain.Hey, Xenomorph Queen!Son of a bitch. I can beat that.I can beat that.Come on.
Yeah, what's wetter than that?He's technically a villain, even though he's not in the evil League of Eagle.Dr. Horrible singalong blog.
Dr. Horrible's roommate and good friend played by the actor who plays Howard Wolowitz on Big Bang Theory is a villain by the name of Moist. whose villainous powers primarily involve making things moist.Oh, apparently he has a whole backstory.
Moist was a regular boy.He actually had kind of dry skin and it was an issue.At six years old, his father came home with a plutonium powered humidifier in an attempt to make his skin not so dry and cracked.
The plutonium powered humidifier worked a bit too well to the point where it altered his DNA and he is now forever in a constant state of moistness. It's pretty moist.That does sound fairly moist.You know, I'm going to give it that.All right.
Very liquidy.I'm going to throw in the shark from Jaws.Pretty much always wet.That's a good one.I feel like sharks have probably pretty like waterproof skin because they don't want the water.It's just most moist.
I would say with the xenomorph queen, you have the benefit of she exudes moisture. They are slimy and they've got the acidy blood.They're very drippy, wet.There's a lot of goops.All right.The thing.There's a lot of moisture going on there.Kind of.
It's mostly the moisture spilling out of the things thing.You know, pretty drippy.There's a lot of drip.It looks juicy.All the parts smashed all together.There's a lot of shiny goopiness going on. But juicier than the Xenomorph Queen?
Ah, well, arguably.Oh, not that good of an argument.I think what we're discovering is Xenomorph Queen sweeps all categories.You know, I think I got to give it to Xenomorph Queen.I hate her.I'm not even mad.That's pretty fair. Maybe one more here.
You know, actually, I've got two more, I think I'm going to do, then we'll wrap it up.Most iconic weapon.Hmm.I'm going to count this as a weapon in the arsenal.Can it be Predators heat vision and just the aesthetic of those shots?
Because I feel like the heat vision shots from the from all of the movies are just like, you know what that is.Yeah, the heat vision is pretty iconic.That's a great answer.Fuck. Yeah, because, like, Jason's machete is whatever.
Freddy Krueger's fingers are whatever.Those are iconic weapons.I find it boring.It's just it's a big knife.I think that wins.I can't think of a way.I'm going to throw in Xenomorph Queen's babies, the face huggers.I have a competing answer.
Ginger dead man's nine millimeter handgun. What kind of villain doesn't have a handgun, you know?Oh, it's well, it is a weapon.Two faces coin.It's kind of icon.No, that's not maybe.I feel like Two-Face and Dr. Freeze are less or ask.
I mean, it's pretty gruesome.Two-Face is pretty gruesome, but. A lot of them, like you said, are kind of like the machete that Michael and Jason use, the knife that Ghostface uses.Maybe Independence Day Aliens, City Blaster Cannon.Oh, yeah.
Sounds like we're just going to give it to Predator Heat Vision.They eat so much hair these days.Good.What about the guns that make heads explode that the Martians have in Martians?I don't know if they're quite as iconic.
It's a pretty niche movie, but. Mars Attacks is kind of niche.Oh yeah, Mars Attacks.I called it Martians.Mars Attacks.That movie legitimately scared me so much I couldn't watch it.When it came out when I was a kid, I hated it.It was too scary.
I don't know if you guys will think this is too similar to the other ones, but like The Shining, the axe through the door.The axe is still like the machete and the knife, right?But that is very iconic.Still good, but.
Alright, we'll give it to Predator.Last one, with no particular reasoning behind it.Who is the MVK?The Most Valuable Killer.Now, of all these awards, I gotta say Xenomorph Queen has been up there in a lot of these categories.
She doesn't do the killing, though.Yeah, she's really more of a background.That's fair.Like, what villain would the villains want on their team? Is it a numbers game?Because like Pinhead has a pretty high kill count overall, right?
Like a couple hundred at least.Right.I think I think Pinhead's problem is even villains would probably be scared of Pinhead.I don't know if I want that guy on my team.That makes it even more horrifying.Right.
But this is the most valuable killer to others.Right. In general, most valuable.We kind of put the two other killers.Yeah, if we're going with Bast, then, you know, that's a different story.Most valuable, for whatever that means.
So Pinhead could be a contender, at least.We can put Pinhead on the list.Ginger Dead Man is very derisive.Very derisive, which is a tough way to die. I mean, Freddy literally kills you in your sleep.That's hard to get around.
Like, that's a pretty cool power.Xenomorphs, in general, can survive basically anything other than enough bullets.Doc Ock could be really good for people on their team because he's smart.I mean, I guess he's... Okay, come on, man.I'm trying.
We're all struggling here and I... Doctor Octopus.Okay, Octavius.So what about Tremors? like the worm that's evolved.They're not like a flashy, like leading the charge.
But like if you have the tremors on your team, you just control all of the ground like that's tough.And they're very scary and intimidating because they're underground worm thing, whatever the hell they're called.
I think I actually would put it for Jason Voorhees because he may not get the most kills, but you can count he's going to get that kill.Like he's going to go wherever it's at.He went to space.He got frozen.He can die.
He'll come right back and he's going to be consistent.His performance can be predictable.If you just tell them that they're a camp counselor or they're having sex in that cabin, I'm going to stop he's going to take care of it.Problem will be solved.
Just takes time.So I'd say like, that's who if I was a villain, I'd be like, that's who I want on my team because I just point they do.I don't have to mind him.He just does his thing.
So you think between Freddy, Jason and Michael Myers, Jason would win?For sure. not it's not even necessarily that he would win.He is the most consistent, high performing, high kill ratio and also impossible to stop.
He's got that iconic thing going for him, too.It's the relentlessness thing that really amps it up for him, too, right?Like there's he's not fast, but he's the snail that chases you anywhere on the globe like you can't actually get rid of him.And so
You even if you are also a powerful villain or whatever is happening, like you feel like you can't be him at some point because he's just indomitable.Yeah. Alright, let me go through our awards.Well done everyone, thank you all for participating.
There's a few awards that we didn't get to, but that's okay.We have awards for Most Moist.Xenomorph Queen over Dr. Horrible's roommate Moist and the Jaws shark.We have Most Derisive going to the Ginger Dead Man.
Most Likely to Succeed, Hannibal over War of the Worlds.Best Dressed, we have Dracula over Dr. Frankenstein and Xerxes.Woodbang, I gave it to Lady Di over the Xenomorph Queen and Angelina Jolie and everything.
Mr. Miss Irrelevant goes to the Zombies over the Bye Bye Man.You Were Right, victim who deserved to die the most and got it.Die Low, who killed Dennis Nedry, winning over Jason's mom dying and Dr. Chilton dying.
Most Valuable Killer went to Jason Voorhees.Best Lady Killer, Xenomorph Queen.Best One-Liner, Terminator I'll Be Back.Most Iconic Weapon, Predator Heat Vision.Best Smile went to Pennywise.I'm gonna go through the points for you two.
bob you got points for real answer woodworking you won't grommet i think this says hannibal angelina jolie xeno queen zombies predator heat vision terminator mark you got points for movie but lenses
The Lost Lens, Ryobi Days, No License, or something.Something you didn't have a license for.I don't know what the word is.The Software Licenses.Oh, right, yeah.I don't know what the word is I wrote.
Bob Loves This Talk, Ginger Dead, Pennywise, Xenomorph Queen, Jason. I have Wade minus one point for something.Wade minus one point for Kiefer Thutherland.Capitalism, the real winner.But tabulating the points, Bob, you finished with 10.
Mark, you finished with 11 points. And how many did he lose?Oh, I didn't take away any points for lenses because of the movie connection.Am I required by our bylaws to remove points for lenses?That was never a bylaw.
It was really more of a constitutional amendment.I don't even think it was an amendment.Who brought up lenses?Was it Mark or Bob?Which one of you brought up lenses originally?I think Mark.I don't remember.No, I think it was Bob.
I think the record will show that it was Bob.I think it's recorded on video that Mark did that. Bob, did you ask specifically about lenses?I encourage you to talk about lenses, but I think you brought it up first.You did, but we always do that.
I can't really deduct points from you for that.I have a proposition.If you were going to take away one point for Mark talking about lenses, I say don't do that.But if you're going to take away two points for Mark talking about lenses.
Now that wouldn't be fair at all.That wouldn't be fair.It's either one or nothing.I think that's what we gotta say.I don't disagree with that.I just don't want him to take one point away from you so I have to spin the goddamn wheel.
If that is what it is, then that's what fair is.But having two points, that would just be flagrant and it would be... Mark's right.It should be one or three.Yeah.
It's either we take this wheel and fairness or we don't deduct points at all and fairness. I think Wade's getting a wheel ready.Oh, oh wait, no, hold on. I do not have the wheel ready at the moment.I was counting.
I thought maybe the tiebreaker would be whoever submitted the most movie monsters that actually won would be the tiebreaker if it was tied.But if you guys would rather have wheel.Oh, no, feel free to inject your own version of not the wheel.
Mark, how do you feel?Wheel or whoever had the most wins in the different categories?Well, I feel like we're not tied at all because Len's talk should not be a deduction.Oh, I see. Bob, what are you?I'm just waiting to hear the resolution.
We've had a little bit of a break from lenses.I'll give Mark a lens break today. You know, the lens rule came into place because we were hearing about them every single day, but the permanently penalize them feels a little bit harsh.
He's lost a lot of points for it over the course of the last few months.I have year year.It's been a year.I think I will give him a break today.It's been a year.We had a lot of good stuff.It's been like five years, hasn't it?
Doesn't even talk about lenses since I was eight years old.Yeah, you are 13 now.Yeah, the family. I'm grown.Uh, yeah, Mark, you win.You know what, you win.That's what I thought.It was a tough, well-fought battle.We gave out some good awards.
You two fighting to give the Xenomorph Queen a lot of different awards, I enjoyed that.Ginger Dead Man I thought would come up more, didn't, but you know, that's fair.He won his category, and that's where he belongs.He did.
Uh, Bob, do you have a loser's speech?In my head, I won.Because in my head, I follow the rules.And we have rules.And they mean nothing.But we do have them, so in my head, I follow them. Congratulations to me, the true winner of today's episode.
Thank you.Wade clapped.That means he endorses me as the winner.I'll just say that's true.Mark, do you have a winner's speech?I humbly accept this as humbly as I can, which is not very humbly because of how great I am.I love myself and I love my ham.
Go, go team.Beat the Rams.Hey, you do know stuff about sports. To all non-RAMS fans, there you have it.If you haven't already, make sure you go follow Mark at Markiplier, Bob at MySQR, me at Minion77, or LordMinion777.
Mark will be hosting the next episode.Appreciate you.Hope you all have a good, fun Halloween.Though I think we'll have more episodes before then.I don't know what day it is.It could be the end of October right now or the beginning.
I have no idea the concept of time.We have merch.DistractibleStore.com.And I guess we'll see you in the next one.Until then, Bobcat's out.
