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Hey weirdos, I'm Ash.And I'm Alayna.And this is Morbid.
It's morbid.Just kidding.It's special.I'm just a sad clown, so I'm being sad.
A sad clown.I'm a sad, sad, gwirl clown.
And a lot of you probably know who I am, but if you don't... Who are you?I'm the lead singer.I'm Mama Emeritus.Oh, honey, I love it.Yeah, I'm Mama Emeritus.I decided to keep the high pony.The high pony, Mama Emeritus.
Oh, I did keep... The fuck you.
it's halloween y'all i can't move too much because then my hat teeters and i can't move my face and also i can't laugh really well so this is gonna be an adventure it was kind of awesome because ash laughed earlier and she went well so there you go well it's also we're getting used to being like we don't film a lot
no this is an experience maybe we should start maybe like once a week we should just get into a wild ass costume and just like start i think for listener tales we should just be in costume i kind of love that idea and just film our listener tales because we can be silly goofy with those yeah you know i think that would be really fun what do you guys think i'm into it i heard you say you're into it so maybe we should do that i'm trying to think of something to clown me like what do you guys
I don't think you're supposed to talk while you mime, but... I don't think so either, but that might be the whole purpose of miming.
Well, I'm not a mime, all right?I'm a freaking clown.It's true, but you know what?It's Loosener Tales today.It's Halloween.We're excited.It's Halloween!
A few of you guessed right, too, because I posted a photo with my freaky eye, which hopefully you can see well.I didn't even post a teaser.Yeah, and a lot of people guessed mine.I love that.
Somebody thought I was David Bowie, and I was like, valid.Well, next to Listener Tales, maybe you should be.You were him from Labyrinth before.Yeah, now I needed to be another era.Ziggy.Yeah, Ziggy Stardust.That would be such a fun one.
and then i could be like a famous rocker oh the gears are turning i'm just i have a theme of famous rockers yeah i like that um also happy halloween because it's legit halloween right now it's halloween it's not halloween when we recorded this no
But we're in the Halloween spirit.
You better believe.Oh, we stay in the Halloween spirit.So it's Halloween now.Yeah.Where you are.It's Halloween where you are in the future.And in the past, it's not Halloween yet, but it's Halloween every day in our hearts.
So... It's true.Here we are.It is.And that's why we're going to do this more often.But it's Listener Tales.We're going to do some Halloween-themed Listener Tales.
And of course, this is why we decided to make this a fun, spooky event that I think we're going to do all the time now.
I think it's going to be great, but... Let's get to the tales.It's listener tales.It's brought to you by you, for you, from you, and all about you.Let's go.All right.Well, the first one was written specifically for me.
You didn't say that, but I decided it was.And this is from Kara, and it's fine to use their name.And it says, a shadow man shook some ass on the stairs.
As soon as we saw this one, I was like, that's for Ash.
I said, thank you.That is for Ash.All right. Let's start off by saying I'm not sure if my house, 101 years old, built during Prohibition, is actually haunted or just something that things passed through.
I have distinct memories during my childhood of blind shooting closed on their own and then periods of time where things were normal.
The biggest and spookiest set of ghostly happenings happened about four years ago during my senior year of high school right around Halloween.Halloween!Throughout October.Things ramped up over time.
It started one night when I was up late working on a class project.My twin brother came in and told me he was going to go to bed and walked out of the kitchen where I was.
A few minutes later, I heard the distinct sound of the footrest of our recliner being snapped down.So I assumed it's my bro, and he sat back down for a sec.
And I, wait, nothing, no one, just me and panic shit that suddenly spawned and due to my fear.I go and check.Yep, he'd gone to bed 10 minutes prior when he told me.Cool, cool, cool.
I was totally fine having a ghost to chill in my living room and return to my project.If I don't address it, it'll stop, right?That's how all problems in life work. Wrong.You don't address it, it'll just go away.Wrong.
The next week, I'm at our side door about to walk out to the car where my brother was waiting to go meet our parents for dinner.And as I open the door, I hear something sprinting through the kitchen toward me.No.I make terrified eye contact.
with my brother that clearly conveyed my inner monologue of holy shit I'm about to shuffle off this mortal coil without my consent because some invisible boogeyman is gonna run me down right now before I finally came to my senses and slammed the house door.
Somehow this still didn't spookify me too badly.I'll just keep ignoring it and it'll go away.Yes.
Wrong again.Some time passes.It's now the very end of October, if my memory serves correct.Buckle up, my spooky bitches.This is where shit got real.I thought shit already got real, to be quite honest.I kind of felt that way too, yeah.
Well, when I told my roommates this story, we slept with the lights on for two days.I need to describe the way my family's house is laid out for you to clearly visualize what comes next. I was about to laugh my hat off at you.I'mma laugh my hat off.
Or maybe I'm so scared that my hat just popped off.She's not gonna laugh her ass off, she's gonna laugh her hat off.I'm gonna laugh my hat off.Well, our kitchen had a back staircase that links up to the main staircase.
It's super steep and runs right up to the dishwasher, so we don't use it.It's just storage space for kitchen appliances and beverages. Some bay fridges.I love a bay fridge.
Can I side note really quick?When me and Drew first got like a home of our own, the main thing he said to me that he wanted to do, he said, our house has to be a beverage house.And I was like, what's a beverage house?
And he said, I always want to have like a bunch of different beverages.And you do.And we do.We are a beverage house.You are a beverage house.Yeah, it was very important to him.
Dream realized.Dream realized.Because I opened your refrigerator the other day and I said,
Oh my God, the beverages.Oh my God, yeah.The variety.If anybody wants to sponsor us, we have a Lonnie.We have Ollie Pop.We have poppies.We don't, we don't discriminate between the good for your tummy sodas.We have Gatorade for Drew.
We have orange juice most of the time.We have seltzers for the Mikey's.We have La Croix's.We have.Oh, La Croix, sorry.Yeah, it's La Croix.I thought it was La Croix.I think it's a debate.Oh, I have an itch on my face.I have an itch on my face.
Oh, I want to like smack it, but that doesn't work either.I'm just gonna lightly tap it.It's really not helping.It's not helping!No, I'm just kidding.No, it's on this side. Oh, okay, that worked.Thank you.Please leave that in.
Anyway, this took a hard turn.So our kitchen has a backstair... Oh, nobody said that.Beverages.So the base of those... Oh, yes, excuse me.Beverages.
The base of those stairs is directly adjacent to the countertop that has the dishwasher, the oven, and the sink.So I'm at the sink washing some pans from dinner late at night.I'm the last one awake.
Out of my peripheral vision to the left, I can clearly see that staircase.It's dark, obviously, as everyone's asleep.
i shit you not my heart ceased to beat as i see a figure at the top of that back staircase i freeze sudsy hands up and all and hold my breath for a second out of the corner of my eye i clearly see a very tall shadow figure she spied with her little eye bent down with his
no this cannot be real i know it is but with his hands on his knees ass stuck out head cocked all the way to the side to stare at me he is in full twerking position ready to shake some ass like a teen on a prom in front of all their teachers and chaperones but he has his spooky head tilt
Like head turned to the side and cocked so he could get a good look at little old me.So hands on the knees, but like a... He said, hands on my knees, shakin' ass on my thot shit.Just post me a pic.
I'm just letting it go.You saw it.It was good at first. Well, I was not cool with being perceived by this spooky shadow bastard.I did not want to be perceived.And definitely not cool with his spooky ass shaking stance.
Side note, I know I sounded like some cool, brave badass who totally wasn't afraid, but homies, I was about three seconds away from melting into a puddle of fear and evicting myself from the property immediately.I don't blame you.
I turn to confirm what I'm seeing and it's gone. I love that somebody just came to shake ass with you in the afterlife.That's my favorite.
And he didn't even shake ass.He just got in the position.He got ready to shake ass.But then he knew.He was trying to see if you were ready.Yeah.Like he was doing what the ghosties were doing in the Amityville horror.
They were like, are you ready for a dance-off?Like the marching band.I think they were literally like, Are you ready for it?And you said, huh?And he was like, you're not ready for it.
He said, he just got out.He knew you weren't ready for his twerking.You would have gotten off.
It was about to let's go.
He would have been like, okay, let's go.I'm not.You should have shook ass with like, you could have figured it out in the moment.I believe in you.
i would have you know i've literally watched tiktok videos to learn how to twerk yes i do know that and i can't do it so if anybody wants to help me out call me don't call me but like dm me dm me and teach me how to twerk call me bb if you want to teach me how to twerk if you want to teach me how to twerk because i love meg the stallion and she has so many great songs to shake ass to but doesn't she do that like
thing yeah exactly i don't want to put my tongue out getting black all over you gotta just like stick it to the front okay oh i have to do it yeah of course wait i don't want to hold on ready because i've sparkled my lips one two three yeah i love it
all right so i know for a fact this wasn't so it's halloween guys have some fun i know for a fact this wasn't some trick of the light or my imagination this was a solid figure enough so that i was a hundred percent positive one of my siblings was playing a prank on me and just standing there to scare me but now there was nothing there so i finished washing dishes and went to my bed forcing myself not to run when i hit the landing on the stairs where he had been
Very cool, casual, mindful of me.Very demure.Very demure, very cutesy cutesy of you.Weirdly enough, after all that, things stopped for a while.
My younger sister started to experience things though, like her foot being yanked while sleeping at night after I went away to college.No, no.I try not to think of that when I visit home in our shared room.But that's the tale.
Now most of my friends refuse to come to my family home.Oh, I'd come.
You're like, I'm there, girl.
I'm there.I'll go shake ass with that ghost once I learn how to twerk.Yeah.And your friends are scared to come due to a fear that this spooky twerking tool is still on my stairs.
I try hard not to think of him when I'm the last one up at night, but he hasn't bothered me since.Maybe I ignored him for long enough that he skedaddled off to haunt someone else.Keep it weird, but not so weird that... I have to call you out, Kara.
Not so weird that you don't shake ass with the ghost on your stairs.
Kara, I understand that that was a scary situation because like, yeah.Totally.But if a ghost or a daemon is trying to have a dance-off with you... You got to show him what your mama gave you.
You just got to do it.Yeah, you got to do it.You got to shake what your mama gave you.You do.You have to shake it like a Polaroid picture.
So you really need to. But you know what?I probably would have been scared too and ran out of my house.I would have been too.That's my real me talking.Tough me is like, I don't know, I would have thrown ass.
I would have thrown ass.I would have thrown smiles.
Wow, Cara, I love that.See, that was my spooky clown laugh again.I didn't even mean to do it.Oh, I don't like that.I like it.Don't show this to Drew.I think he would leave.
John, I sent a picture to him because he was picking up the girls from school and he just said, my God,
And then she said, when you sent the picture of you and Tobias.
I sent a picture of this and I said twins and he said totes magotes.Totes magotes.And I was like, you're gonna be scared when I come downstairs.Drew said, aw, you a cute little sad clown.
But I think if he heard me laugh like that, he would not like that.
He would say, you're a scary little sad clown.He would say, get out of my presence. So my next listener tale is called Halloween Listener Tale, My Ghostly Ex-Boyfriend and a New Orleans Psychic.
Oh no, Debbie said this is a beautiful tale, but it might make you cry.Oh shit.I can't cry.I'm already crying.Oh no, Deb Deb. This is from Chelsea.Hi, Chelsea.Hi, Chelsea.Hi, Chelsea.
I've been watching old episodes of Southern Charm and there's a Chelsea.Oh, I loved Chelsea.Yeah, and the really terrible Ashley girl was like, Chelsea, when she was trying to explain why she was a dick.Ashley.Chelsea.All right, my name is Chelsea.
Who did?Ashley.Oh, she blocked you on Twitter.She blocked me on Twitter, yeah.That's hardcore.I know.So this says, my name is Chelsea and as I mentioned above, I'm a Louisiana girl.Hey, Chelsea.Hi.Born in and raised just north of New Orleans.
I was raised Catholic and while I no longer identify as religious, I would say I am still quite spiritual.
My Catholic upbringing has left a few imprints on who I am as a person, and namely a deep-seated belief in a higher power, whatever you want to call him or her, something greater than ourselves, a strong conviction that there is more to this world and the next than we see and or an understanding and an openness to signs and messages from the other side.
Yeah, I agree.I actually love that.I think that's a beautiful belief system.That's pretty much exactly what I believe.Yeah.
I don't believe that I'm psychic or clairvoyant in any way, but I've always felt a closeness or openness to messages from loved ones who have passed on.
And I could write another two or three listener tales just with stories of interactions with my grandma.Mama.Mama.After her passing.Okay, so.Please write those stories.Yeah, I gotta hear about Mama.Mama.Mama.
More than 10 years ago, I moved to Houston, Texas after grad school to take a job and start building my career.While living in Houston, I met and started dating a nice Greek boy named Teddy.We love Teddy.
Teddy was, and still to this day is, the kindest person I have ever met.Good.Because I was like, we love Teddy.And then I was like, do we love Teddy?I know.
I got a little bit nervous.Or do I have to fight Teddy?
But I'm glad I don't have to fight Teddy.We would have squared up for you, Chelsea.We would have.But you know what, Teddy?Good job. Hey, Teddy.
Once, upon introducing Teddy to a group of my friends, one of my friends asked me how it felt to be the worst person in the relationship.
Oh, you know, we're all out there.We're all out there somewhere.I'm the worst person in the relationship.Are you the worst person in the relationship? Yeah, you are.Yeah, you are.I was like, yeah, don't lie.I think you're right.We're the worst.
You know what?Here we are.That's awesome.He was joking, but he was 100% right.Whatever traits I imagine God uses to judge the goodness of a person, selflessness, loyalty, patience, etc.Teddy was off the charts in all of them.
That's John and that's true.That's Teddy.
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After dating for about a year, I woke up one morning to find Teddy having a full-blown seizure beside me.Holy shit.The turn.Yeah, that took a quick left.
After months of testing, doctor's visits, and additional seizures, always at night and always in his sleep. We would find a brain tumor lodged in his right temporal lobe.
We quickly scheduled surgery and the tumor was removed successfully and identified as benign.Oh, good.But unfortunately, the seizures continued.
And when they did, I was always the only person there since they only happened at night while we were sleeping.Oh, that's so overwhelming.
I can't imagine that.I really can't.No, you're an angel.He lived with them and managed his condition with medication as best as he could. I'm a strong believer that just because something isn't forever doesn't mean it wasn't real.
My relationship with Teddy is an example of this.After almost 3.5 years together, life was pulling the two of us in different directions.
We broke up and went our separate ways, both sad but with nothing but love and respect in our hearts for one another.I moved back to Louisiana and he stayed in Texas.
The fact that you still say he's like one of the most kind people you've ever met is like such a mature relationship.It really is. Fast forward a year and a half and I was dating the man who, spoiler alert, is now my husband David.Who?Who?Who?
Hey David!Day-day.Day-day.
We were on our... I just nicknamed your husband for you.We were on our first big trip as a couple in Mexico when I received a phone call from my best friend back in Houston.Oh no, my heart is about to sink.Oh no.
When I answered, she asked to speak to my boyfriend.It struck me as weird, but I handed over the phone.When David hung up, I knew exactly that something was wrong.David then had the devastating task of telling me that Teddy was gone.
He had passed in his sleep as a result of a seizure.He had been alone.
oh oh that's awful i'll tell you one thing ladies it takes a strong man to watch the woman he loves grieve openly and savagely over another man but he did that's another good one david for life another great one he held me while i sobbed and screamed and blamed myself if i had only been there if we hadn't broken up i could have saved him when i told him i didn't know what to do with myself or my thoughts he asked me to tell him about teddy
What a human.I just got, I got a full body.Like what an amazing man.We spent that entire night talking about my ex-boyfriend with David giving me all the space and support I needed to not crumble into oblivion.
I knew after that night that I would marry David.Hell yeah you did.That's awesome.
whoo okay you're probably like bitch get to the spooky part which is exactly what i'm doing now but you needed the background context i did and i appreciate you telling us yeah the months following teddy's death were weird heavy it sounds insane but i could feel him that doesn't sound insane at all
Strange things were happening in my house, never threatening or scary, but I could feel his presence.Lights would flicker.An untouched book on my bookshelf became mysteriously dog-eared to a particularly meaningful passage.That's beautiful.Damn.
Alayna would be so mad.Yeah.She literally won't let me borrow her books because I dog-ear the pages.It's true.I don't dog-ear pages.
I can't handle it.You're insane.I'm a bookmark early.She is.I like my books to be in the right condition.I think they look well-loved if they've been dog-eared a lot.
I was going to say it's a great personal debate.We'll do a poll.Yeah, we will.Except I might lose that one.I don't know.I don't know.One time when I had a fever and chills, my AC broke, making my house a toasty 83 degrees.
That's horrible.Once my fever broke and the chills went away, the AC turned back on like nothing had happened.It's just like Teddy to be taking care of someone from the afterlife.Wow.Halloween night of that year. Halloween!
I happened to be back in Houston on a business trip.I was invited to celebrate with some of my and Teddy's mutual friends and headed over to their house for dinner.
That night, a wicked thunderstorm came rolling through Houston, knocking out the power at their house. and generally upping the spook factor, since we were now dining by candlelight.
All through the evening, our host had music playing in the background via her phone.At some point, her phone stopped working, and try as she might, the music would not come back on.
We chalked it up to the storm messing with service and continued our conversation in silence for another 30 minutes or so.Eventually, as we knew it would, the conversation turned to Teddy.
As the storm continued to rage, we discussed how much we all missed him, and agreed on the general tragedy of the situation.I confessed the guilt I was carrying around, how if we hadn't broken up, I would have likely been there to intervene.
I told them about the weird experiences I was having in my house, and that's when our host's phone started playing music again, on its own.Stop it. a completely different song and genre than it had been earlier.
The song was a newer one I had heard in passing, but never really listened to the lyrics.Until that moment, we all sat in silence while the song played, each listening to the words and listening at each other with wide eyes.
It was Happier by Bastille.I love Bastille.
Oh my god, I have goosebumps.
If you're unfamiliar, the lyrics are, to paraphrase, lately I've been thinking, I want you to be happier.Even though I might not like this, I want you to be happier.And so that means I'll have to leave.Oh my God, I, my goosebumps have goosebumps.
I was just, I felt that.Holy shit.The song is about a couple who is breaking up because they know what's best for them, even though they are heartbroken.With the guy acknowledging that he's going to walk away so that she can be happier.
I'm like about to cry.Everyone in the room was looking at me, some with goosebumps on their arms, some with tears in their eyes, and it was clear that they were all interpreting the same message as I was.
Teddy was telling me that it was okay, that he heard me, that he didn't blame me, and that he was going to back off with the ghosty shit since it was freaking me out a bit, LOL.I immediately felt a weight lift off my shoulders.
After that night, I did not feel his presence around me anymore.I felt that he had moved on to wherever he was supposed to be.I didn't hear from him again.
Until two years later in October 2020, in the midst of the pandemic, David and I were engaged and tentatively planning our wedding, thanks COVID, my spooky witchy bachelorette extravaganza, which was originally planned in Salem, Massachusetts.
Oh, it had to be canceled due to travel restrictions.Oh.So plan B was a bachelorette Halloweekend here in Louisiana, which is still fucking cool.Oh, I think that might even be better.Yeah.
Complete with outdoor social distancing, friendly activities for a small group of my closest friends.
One of these activities was hiring a real life French Quarter psychic medium to come read tarot cards for us as part of our glampest at our farm north of Nola.Oh my God, this is incredible.Why didn't you invite me?
Why didn't you invite us?
The open air was a good setting for group activities, and the sweeping live oaks were an excellent backdrop for some witchery.I'm obsessed.I feel so cozy.Just thinking about that.It feels like a book.
The psychic began by reading tarot for everyone in attendance, and this lady was the real deal.As in, I sat down and was crying with the first three sentences out of her mouth.
First thing she said to me before even touching the cards was, your people on the other side are very loud.They're telling me that you're worried you won't be able to have children.And they're telling me that that's not going to be a problem.
It will happen almost immediately.Oh my God.This woman did not know me.She had no way of knowing that I've known since I was 16 that I have a condition that could impact my fertility.
And that knowledge had hung over me like a dark cloud every day of my life.Spoiler alert, she was correct.
So you didn't have any issue.
That's amazing.What's wild too, that's weird that you had that like feeling that you were worried about it.I also had that feeling from a very young age.
And it's like I knew it and I did have trouble.
It's wild.But then I got my babies. Now, after reading Tarot, she transitioned into a mediumship session, where she opened herself up to messages from the other side.
After a few messages for some of my friends, all of which were scarily accurate, she suddenly said, I'm feeling the presence of a young man, and he's showing me a teddy bear with a T on it.I immediately went cold.
Teddy's last name started with a T. And one of his nicknames was Teddy T. She proceeded to tell me that he sees everything happening in your life and he's so happy for you.He supported my marriage.He likes David.
She also added, he wants you to know that there's nothing you could have done to prevent what happened to him.Even if you had been there, it was over so quickly and he wasn't scared or in pain.
oh she must have been like such a weight off your shoulders again seriously she finally said he wants you to know that you are the love of his life and he's so grateful for that i'm gonna sob right now literally i had to close my eyes so that they wouldn't start forming tears it's like actual tears yes
let me tell you the sobs that left my body it truly felt like the most beautiful gift of closure knowing that he was okay knowing that he was happy and happy for me it's an experience that has stuck with me and will be with me forever i now see teddy as one of my guardian angels up there conspiring with my mama and papa
watching over me and my beautiful growing family.David and I did indeed get pregnant almost immediately after our wedding.Our son was born two days after our first anniversary and we are currently expecting our second son, Chelsea.
David continues to be an amazingly supportive partner and father to our children.
We still talk about Teddy, remember his birthday every year, and we travel up to New England together to attend Teddy's sister's wedding a few years ago, where he bonded with Teddy's dad and stayed up until 4 a.m.drinking with Teddy's best friends.
That's amazing.David's my favorite person ever.David rocks.David now loves Teddy's family as much as I do, and we try to see them regularly.
His family will be a part of our children's lives, and I plan to share his story with my sons when they are old enough to understand.
I think this is the most beautiful, literally the most beautiful thing we've ever received.
Truly.I hope they see it as an example of finding a beautiful silver lining around life's darkest clouds.Proof that people come into our lives for a reason and that not all love stories end with forever.
Some love stories end in this world, but go on into the next, and I hope they see their father as an example of an incredible emotional maturity, a paragon of non-toxic masculinity, and an illustration of the kind of supportive partner they should strive to be one day.
Wow.Yes.Amazing.Amazing.Thank you if you've made it this far into reading this rather lengthy novella.We can't all be best-selling novelists, Selena.I love you.But I felt this story had to be extracted from the inside of my head and put to paper.
I have attached some pictures to this email so you can put some faces with names and add some color to the story.Why are you all so beautiful?You and Teddy are the cutest things I've ever seen.And so are you and David and your child.
And you and David and your babies. Wow.And they made it to Salem last year, and you got to go to the Ropes Mansion.You got to go to Allison's house.Stop it.I love it.
Oh my God, these are great pictures.Angel Pappas.
Winona and Reba?Winona and Reba.Not sad, just sleepy.
Oh my God, I love it.Honestly, Chelsea, that story. was one of the most beautiful stories we have had in ListenerTale, so thank you for that.Gorge, gorge, gorge.You and David forever.Teddy forever.I'm going to remember that story forever.
Yeah, that was an amazing story.Thank you for sending that.
It was beautiful.All right, my next one is ListenerTale trick or treat. Or clowns!
Heyo!This is from Megan.Megan!Megan!I don't know why I said it like that.Oh!Oh!She did it!Now we'll work on the head tilt next.Yeah, the tilt.Wow, that just made me really happy.To properly tell this story, I got so bossed in there.
To properly tell this story.It's rubbing off on me.What were you saying today that you like couldn't unboss?Poltergeist.Poltergeist.She couldn't stop saying poltergeist.All right.To properly tell this story, I need to start with the setting.
This happened in 2014 on the spookiest day of the year.One, two, three.Halloween. My family had moved about an hour away from our old house in 2013.
The new neighborhood we moved to was known for Halloween, so much that people drove to trick-or-treat there.We're even more known for Christmas, which leads to a lot of traffic during the holidays.
But everybody passed out candy and loads of people decorated.To give some perspective, we would buy a bag of candy every single time we went shopping in September and October, just to have enough to pass out before the night ended.
And sometimes that wasn't even enough.Wow.I want to go to there.I do too.
At the time of this particular Halloween, I was about 11, and my older sister Erin was around 12, so we were still at the age where trick-or-treating was something we looked forward to.
We invited my sister's best friend, who lived an hour away, to spend the night trick-or-treating with us since the neighborhood was so known for being THE spot to go. Naturally, we had to coordinate costumes or what was the point.
Erin and her best friend were Tweedledee and Tweedledum, but instead of fat suits, they wore tutus and suspenders.I love that.I love that.That's great.I was Alice and wore a little blue dress with a white apron and had a black bow tied in my hair.
Adorable! We all looked very cute and unassuming.Very cutesy cutesy.Very demure, very mindful, which is probably why we looked like easy targets that night.Uh-oh.I'm scared.
Now, to understand what happened, I'm going to give you a quick and simple layout of the neighborhood.We lived near the end of a long street that connected to two major streets in the neighborhood.
Keep in mind that we had moved there recently and weren't super familiar with the area.However, it was very safe, and my mom, who always supervised us outside, thought it was fine for the three of us to go alone while she stayed and passed out candy.
She helped us pick an easy route of three streets that formed a triangle.We would walk on the main street close to our house and then take a turn onto a street parallel to ours.
From there, we would turn onto the other main street that connected to the one we lived on just to make our way back.Even though this was a safe neighborhood and the route was simple, I was pretty terrified to go alone.
We had never done that, never done that before, let alone in a new neighborhood.I was always the child who could hardly bear to be out of sight of an adult.That's literally your middle.
My sister, on the other hand, relished in the opportunity to have no supervision, and she and her friend were excited.Your oldest.The night started off pretty normal.
It was still light out when we left, but by the time we had gotten to the second main road, it was dark.We amassed a good amount of candy by that point and were about to turn back onto our street.However, this is when things got a little strange.
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As we were about to turn back onto the street, from the corner of my eye I saw a lone trick-or-treater across the street.He was dressed in all black clothing and wore a Halloween clown mask that covered his whole face.Scary.I don't like that.
This by itself wasn't unusual, but what was strange is that he didn't have a bag to hold candy.Oh yeah, no.Instead he had a baseball bat.Nope.I thought to myself, huh, that's odd. But he was on the other side of the road, so it wasn't a problem.
Well, actually it was a problem, because pretty soon after noticing this person, I realized he wasn't alone.Trailing behind us was another person in all black and wearing that same clown Halloween mask, and it obscured his whole face.
This person didn't have a bat, but instead was simply dragging a golf club along the sidewalk behind him. What the fuck?Where is any help?What's happening?I'm scared.Mom, pick me up, I'm scared.The rest all happened very quickly.
It was dark and I don't know where they came from, but in the blink of an eye, the two people turned into three, then four, then five, then suddenly 10 people were dispersed around the street.What the fuck?
All wore the same clown masks and had bats or golf clubs.The ones on the other side of the street crossed the road and came towards us. At the same time, the ones on the street got closer to us and started forming a circle.We were surrounded.
There were at least three on each side to the left and right of us, a few behind us and one in front.They were dragging their clubs and banging their bats on the concrete.
What is particularly strange and something I do not understand to this day is that the street was empty.I was thinking of this.Yeah.
Is there an adult to help you?This was the most popular neighborhood to trick or treat in.However, besides these strange boys and the looming darkness, we were the only ones on that street.
Was this some like weird, elaborate hazing ritual that your neighborhood had? Oh my God, maybe that'd be fucking awesome.But they were like, welcome to the neighborhood.We're going to scare the shit out of you.We want to see if you can fucking hang.
Were they just waiting for someone to walk by when the street was clear?Were they hiding?Did they have some sort of signal?
However, the answers to these questions were irrelevant because the reality was they were getting closer by the second.If I reached out, I could touch one before my arm was even fully straightened.Oh no.
Oh, that's too much in my personal space.Yeah, of course it is.Get out of my fucking bubble.
No, get out of my fucking bubble.
bubble get out I remember how I said that I was scared to go and my sister wasn't yes this is where that shifts Aaron and her friend who were in front of me slowed down and came closer to me we were all frazzled with a look silently asked each other what do we do for some reason that alludes me to this day the dominant emotion that I was feeling wasn't fear but anger looking back I should have approached this situation with more caution but I was pretty pissed
I would be too.And I kind of love that you were pissed.Yeah.In my mind, these had to be neighborhood boys picking on the little girls wearing tutus and dresses.Exactly.And just trying to scare them.So fuck them.
So I immediately decided that if they were going to try to get a rise out of us, the best thing we could do was not give them one.Yeah.I whispered to my sister and her friend, keep walking.Yeah.And we did.Good for you.
What they didn't know was that we were on the street we lived on, so we just had to outlast them. Unfortunately for us, they kept walking too.What?
Every single one of them.
These little fucks.So hard for you.
Gonna hit them with their golf clubs.Yeah.
It almost looks like a security detail for a celebrity, except, you know, the fact that they were threatening us.Except a very weird one.Yeah.Kind of like paparazzi, actually.Yeah. In a situation like that, logic is the first thing we abandon.
We certainly had cell phones and could have called for help, but we just kept walking.Besides, even if we got our phones out, they were close enough to just grab them.
After what felt like several minutes, but I'm sure was only a moment, I switched tactics.I must have heard this from some television show, but I turned to the closest one on my left and said in the most intimidating voice at 11 years old,
I said in the most intimidating voice an 11-year-old girl dressed as Alice in Wonderland could muster, I will cut you.Oh my god.
Honestly, I would have ran.I would get the fuck out of there.I'd be like, I believe it.I believe it.Because anybody dressed as Alice in Wonderland saying, I will cut you, that's scary.Yeah.You did the right thing.I will cut you.That's right.
She said, this is embarrassing, but I hope it makes you laugh.It's not embarrassing.You should not be embarrassed.It's iconic. I needed them to know that we were not scared, and what they were doing wasn't working, so they should just give up.
It didn't deter these boys, but it served to lend confidence.Get a life!Get a life!It didn't deter these boys, but it served to lend confidence to my sister and her friend.
They continued to walk, and when they got close to the masked person in the front, they just pushed him out of the way.With our heads up, but not making eye contact, we continued, because what else was there to do, really?Yeah.
We could start to see other trick-or-treaters in the distance.Our luck changed then, and just as quickly as they came, these masked boys were gone without a trace. What?They just left?They just like poofed into the air?
So they just menaced you and then left?And then left.Fuck them.Don't ruin somebody's Halloween like that.I'll find them.I will and we'll junk punch every single one of them.Dressed like this.Dressed like this.How scary would that be?
That would show them.Clown me clown.Clown me clown.Are you ready? The dread was replaced by a flood of relief and we were safe again.After that, I don't think we resumed trick-or-treating and just went home for the night.Oh, that's a bummer.
I know, I'm sorry.I understand it, but that's a bummer.We did tell my mom what happened while we were treating Candy in the kitchen.She wasn't thrilled that we engaged with them, but wasn't too worried.
It did sink in later that night, to me at least, how that situation could have gone so differently.Yeah.I can't say I was particularly traumatized, but that was the last year I went trick-or-treating.Oh, that makes me sad.You were 11?
yeah oh that makes me really sad dude i was like 15 when i stopped trick-or-treating oh i got to the point where people were like we're not kidding you we're not you're like you're too old for this yeah um however halloween remains my favorite holiday and i celebrate it every year good thank you for reading this and i hope everyone keeps it weird but not somewhere that you surround children and try to scare them by banging baseball bats and golf clubs because that's just not cool p.s i retold the story to my mom as i was writing this and she seemed confused and said was it really that bad didn't some boys just follow you
I suppose that when we told her at the time, we left out a lot of details.I guess.And when I recounted it like this, she was appalled.
She somehow didn't know about the weapons or the clown masks and said that if she did know that, she would have been on the hunt for these boys' parents.OK.
Oops.I knew that had to be a missing link there.
Because I was like, if my kids come home and tell me that a bunch of boys with weapons and clown masks surrounded them.Wait, can I interrupt you?
I know exactly what you would do.She would do. Whatever Alina's mad, she always crunches.Ready?And it's always so good.
And that would be, I'd be like, we're off.I'd be like, you ladies stay at home.And I'd be like, Mama and Dada are gonna go.Call TT, I'm going.We're gonna go make some friends in the neighborhood.Oh, I would.
And then we would never see those boys again.Like when I tell you, like the rage I had for you in that moment, I wanted to fucking strangle these boys.That's just so necessary. Don't ruin someone's Halloween.
Halloween's supposed to be fun, and people need to consent in being scared.Don't be a dick.Just be cool.Don't be all, like, uncool.Don't do that.And definitely don't fucking scare kids.Like, what the hell?Get a life.Let them live.
She's dressed as Alice in Wonderland.I know.
Like, let her live. They did their costumes together for this.
Yeah, I'm not impressed by them.That doesn't impress me much.If you're listening, boys who did that, I'm not impressed.
Oh, they're not listening because they are not this cool.No, they're not.They are losers.They're not this cool.They're not this cool.
They do not.This is so cool.They are not on this level.Cosplay equals cool.Are you on the level?No.No, you're not.The answer is no.You could never be.All right, mine is entitled
How I thought I was going to be killed by a papier-mâché mask wearing psycho.Whoa.And it's by Bee.Hi Bee, I love that name.And it says, like the bumble.Like the bumble.It says, hello lovely ladies of all that is, all that tis dark, weird and spoopy.
My name is Bee, like the bumble. A family nickname which you are more than welcome to use as I consider you and all other weirdos listening as family.I love that!Oh, you are our family!
I discovered your absolute gift of a podcast at the beginning of 2022 and it has kept me laughing through many a commute and hard times.
Seriously, you guys remind me so much of me and my sister, which is a huge comfort since we live on opposite sides of the Pacific.Damn. I could never get far away from you.One time I was going to move to New York and we just couldn't even handle it.
Couldn't do it.Yeah.Couldn't do it.Thank you for all you do.You two are delights.Never change your badass bitchin' ways.We won't.We won't.Total side note.Ash, I'm a Libra.So is Mikey.Mikey's a Libra.Which makes us air sign besties.
We are air sign besties.I can't really decide how to segue from that to my story, but here we go.I'm not a writer like Elena.Cue Ash sharing the link to The Butcher and the Wren.
tinyurl.com slash the butcher lorraine i don't know if that still exists don't go but but it's there uh congrats elena can't wait to read it update i got it all downloaded on my kindle i'm ready to go so i hope this is not too convoluted thank you so much be for life the tale begins five years ago on halloween
I know I'm writing and sending you this in July, but the spirit store that lives in my heart can no longer be contained in this withered summer husk of a body any longer.I'm obsessed with you.I've never related to a sentence more.Truly.
In a small town on Japan's southernmost and largest island, I hope I say this right, Kyushu?Kyushu?I believe it's Kyushu?Yeah.
I will leave out the prefecture and town as I still live here and don't want to cause any potential embarrassment for parties involved.
I will call it Goldfishtown, because as the nickname may suggest, it is famous for breeding around 30 different varieties of goldfish.Woot woot!Goldfishtown represents!That's really cool, Imranda.That's awesome.That's the funnest fact.
So a bit of background.The first time I came to live in Japan, I was working as an ALT, assistant language teacher.I worked at two elementary schools and one middle school, helping teach English in the classroom.In the classroom.In the classroom.
It was a wonderful experience and such a privilege working with the students and teachers. Goldfishtown always had two alts, and we split the schools as there was a total of two middle schools and four elementary schools.
There was some quick maths for you ladies, which I will not be doing again.The alt departments were literally right next to each other, so me and the other alt, codename E, were super besties.
We always hung out, shared meals, had many a laughs and a cries in each other's apartment.She is still a bestie to this day, a ride or die bitch, which you'll definitely see in this story.
A final person to mention is our supervisor, Nom de Plume, spelling French, I loved it.Nom de Plume.Kay, the sweetest woman alive and who we literally referred to as our Japanese mother.
She's super kind and friendly and always made sure we were looked after.Nom de Plume.Mama. Okay, so let's get into the dirty deets.What happened on Halloween five nights ago?Do tell.Five years ago.What happened on Halloween five nights ago?
That makes no sense.I just got white on my finger.Oh no!Halloween in Japan is more of an adult holiday.
Going out drinking, going to costume parties, which is fun, but we don't get little ghoulies and goblins running up to our doors screaming for the sweets or else threatening trick.I kind of love that actually.
See, I want, I need the trick-or-treaters.
No, I love the trick-or-treaters, but I hate driving on Halloween night because I get so nervous.Yeah, I just won't.Well, I have to.Yeah.Yeah.I just won't.Yeah.
Our apartments were on the second floor and buildings facing each other.A literal minute walk and a lot of huffing upstairs.This Halloween, we had both planned quiet evenings.
Me at home reading cozy mysteries for my October mystery read-a-thon, drinking cocoa, the nectar of fall, and E at the gym being a ripped goddess. So I love how different both of your evenings were.
We didn't have any plans to meet up that night.And other than E, anyone else coming to my door is a big, it's going to be a no from me dog moment.Yes.Yes.Yeah.
Our apartments were around 20 years old, but thankfully had a modern doorbell system camera where when someone rang the doorbell, I could see who it was on the screen in my kitchen, foreshadowing.Well, that's cool.
Quite handy for dodging the Jehovah's Witnesses.Yes, they're out here.No shade, just as I said.I'm a millennial hermit crab who wants to chill in her shell in peace.Oh, I feel that.I feel that.
So I'm home alone at my kitchen table drinking cocoa, enjoying my book, feeling the holy Halloween spirit when the doorbell rings.
Uh, knowing it's not E, I think maybe I was getting some trick-or-treaters, panicking that I would have to share some of my time-of-the-month, all-the-month, stash-can't-chocolate with them.Uh, but what I see freezes my blood.
On the screen is a person.I can't tell the gender, as their clothes are baggy, and the fact that they are wearing a large papier-mâché... Spelling?French again?You did great.
uh head the head has painted on wide staring blue eyes a small neutral mouth slightly open no and dark brown hair parted to the side very serial killer style i hate it very not cutesy cutesy very not i stop breathing because i'm afraid whatever is on the other side of the door will hear me
The doorbell rings again, and I can see the head move closer to the door cam like it's looking through the peephole.
Get the fuck off my property.
I slowly slide over the table where I left my phone.After grabbing it, I wait until my little door cam goes dark, and I hear footsteps recede down the stairs outside.
I think I stood there for a good five minutes, my ears straining to hear anything, but feeling like the whole world is silent and only I exist.Ooh, that's beautiful. That is beautiful.You are a writer.Yeah.
I run back to the screen to take a picture of the figure to send to E, telling her not to worry, I'm alive, but this thing was at my doorstep, and if she could come back from the gym, I would love her forever.
Like the true queen she is, she immediately called me saying she'd be there in 15 minutes and to stay put with a knife in hand.Next, I messaged our supervisor, Kay, the photo.
Now I know, I know, at this point you guys are all screaming to call the police.I was kind of thinking it in my head a little bit.I was. I was.But I wasn't judging you yet.I wasn't.But honestly, I didn't know what constituted an emergency in Japan.
Fair enough, fair enough.And where my Japanese is conversational, how do I explain that a soul-sucking paper mache demon stood outside my door?Valid.Hard things.
Kay also called immediately and said she and her husband were on their way over.Thankfully, they live five minutes away, so I didn't wait long to get a message saying they were coming up.And I will never forget them coming up the stairs.
If I hadn't been so scared at the time, I would have laughed.
Kay, my five-foot-tall supervisor, is running up the stairs calling for me, followed by her six-foot-three husband, cigarette dangling cavalierly out of one side of his mouth, and a golf club slung casually over his shoulder.Fucking icon. King.
That's what you use a golf club for.
Not to scare little kids.No.To save people.To protect a girl.
Yeah.Does anyone else smell a potential ghost hunting, demon slaying show pitch here?
Yes.I kind of do.Oh my God.
Yes, I do.I would make a great show.You should do that.He's always got to have a cigarette or like a toothpick hanging out of his mouth.Yes.Yes. Anyway, back to the paper mache waking nightmare.
I told them that I had no idea who this person was and showed them the picture, which they agreed was really fucked up.By that time, E had returned home and also came roaring up the stairs, ready to slap this kindergarten craft project gone wrong.
I assured her I was okay and said she should check the door cam to see if they came to her door too.They hadn't.Since she hadn't been visited by Crafty Killer TM, I spent the night at her place.Over the next few weeks, I was on high alert.
I was always waiting to hear the doorbell ring and see that face again, but whoever it had been never came back, and I eventually settled down a bit. That's when they strike.
Fast forward to before Christmas, E and I were having a small Christmas party with our goldfish town alt Senpai, a term of respect used for a person who is usually older, more experienced than you at life, job, etc.I like that.Senpai.
The V and her husband, H, That's who they were.There was a period there.V was the predecessor at my school, but she still lived in Goldfish Town and had met and married her husband there too.
We had decided on doing a potluck dinner at our apartment and everyone arrived with plenty of yummies in tow.Oh, love that.Exactly.As long as you know the people. If I know your kitchen, I'll eat it.If I haven't seen your kitchen, I'm not eating it.
As we got to prepping, we were just chatting and catching up when E brings up the Halloween incident about how creepy it was and how scared we had all been.
After that, dinner was almost ready and we were about to sit down when V's husband started whispering to her in Japanese.I'm nervous.I couldn't really hear what they were saying, but she then said louder in English, I'm sorry, just say I'm sorry.
By this point, E and I were blatantly dropping those eaves and asking if everything was okay.When V's husband said, I'm sorry, on Halloween, that was me in the mask.Shut up.I love that it came up at a Christmas dinner.
And that he was like, I don't know.
And the wife was like, say sorry.She was like, you fucking apologize.
Just say fucking sorry.I was fucking dumbstruck, gobsmacked. Flabbergasted.Another big shocked words.I couldn't fucking believe it.It was you?Why?Why did you come here on Halloween wearing that mask?
H went on to tell me that he and V had made Halloween goodie bags and wanted to give one to me and E. I love that it was like a good kind thing and you were scared for months.It was so pure.
The reason he didn't show up to E's place was because he didn't know which apartment she lived in.My apartment actually used to be V's old place in her alt days, so he was hoping that I would tell him when I answered the door for my treat.
But why that terrifying DIY serial killer face when a witch's hat or Dracula teeth would have gotten his trick-or-treat intentions across just fine.
Apparently the mask is from one of his favorite movies, a movie called Frank, starring Michael Fassbender, who plays a lead singer in a band and he wears the mask because he gives him the confidence to perform due to his mental health issues.
Oh, that sounds like a beautiful plot.It has such a pure intent.I love that.I can't get over it. This is so beautiful.This is iconic.But so scary.This is hilarious.
I don't think I can ever see that movie because of how much the mask scares the living shit out of me.It is scary.They attached a picture.But you know what?H said it's very moving.It sounds like it would be.
I attached a picture of the mask from the movie, but H's was handmade, which somehow made it more terrifying.Yeah, that usually does happen.Apparently H really wanted to participate in Halloween revelry, and now there were enough Americans to do it.
We all had a good laugh about it, and honestly, I'm glad we could solve the Halloween mystery.Sorry to pull the spoopy rug from under you ladies, but I hope it gave you some good goosebumps and laughs.
Thanks for reading my story, and I hope you keep it weird, but not so weird they make your own papier-mâché head from an obscure Michael Fassbender film and try to drop off Halloween treats in a country that doesn't really celebrate Halloween, thus scaring the living shit out of you.
Also, I don't know if we can zoom, but this is the is the mask.That would fuck me up.Like that's so scary.
That would fuck me right up.
Yeah.I don't love that.Right the fuck up.Right the fuck up.B, that was so good.And picture that homemade.No.B, I would have been shitting my pants along with you.B, I would have died.I love that that's like a rock star's mask.I love it.
He's gotta, he's gotta figure out the band ghost.Oh my god.All right, last one you guys.Last one. Last listener tale is, listener tale, Halloween.The time my dad attacked my friends and I with a chainsaw.Oh, fuck.Yay.Oh, shit.Oh, fuck.
I didn't see that coming.All right.Hey, spooky bachachos.Bachachos.I love bachachos.I used to say that all the time.You did?Yes.I got to bring that back.
I've been obsessed with you girls for years and I have yet to find another podcast and podcasters I love as much as you.Thank you.We have a lot of great network shows.
I go back and re-listen to multiple episodes, some because you cover them so well, some because they are hilarious, Carl, and most because I just love the sound of your voices.
My toddler calls you the ghost girls because he hears you talking in the car but he can't see you.That's adorable.I love that. When I discovered your podcast, I came home and told my husband I have found my spirit besties.Oh, I love that.Thank you.
That makes me so happy.And I made him listen to multiple episodes.He looked at me and said, well, when are we moving?Because he's supportive like that.I love him.I'm very much a mix of the two of you.
Ash, Stevie Nicks, is also my fairy witchy godmother.And Elena, I too hate the heat, love all things spooky and haunting, and suffer from migraines, bitches.Hell yeah, bitches.Hell yeah.
I truly feel like I'm hanging out with you girls when I'm listening to your show, and it fills my social cup.I love that.Thank you.Man, you really are meant to be our bestie.
You are, because we don't really love – we don't have – My social cup is like a shot glass.It's like so easy to fill.Yeah.All right.So on to my story.
This is a story so many of my friends know or friends of my friends know, and they still talk about it to this day and our old age as we reminisce about our youthful shenanigans from early high school and even middle school.Elder millennial.What?
What? Younger millennial.Not Gen Z. Zillennial.No offense, Gen Z. Still millennial.Zillennial?No.
Like, isn't that what you're technically?
No, it's just millennial.It's just the younger years.Zillennial.Zillennial is made up.That's not a real generation.Yeah, there you go.I'm gonna fight you.
Before we get into the details, I must give you some backstory on where the morbid, scary, movie-loving, terror-chasing Halloween devotion comes from in my family. My grandma, Marge.Marge!I love that.Marge.
My dad's mom was a huge horror fan and collected pretty much everything she could horror-themed, from stickers she put in sticker books to cups and even a Chucky doll that moved on its own.Okay, Marge is awesome.Marge forever.Marge forever.
Yes, I shit you not, and I have cousins to back me up on this, but that's for another time.That's awesome. I saw some horror movies way too young, as did a lot of my family members on my dad's side.
He was one of five kids, so it's gotten pretty large with the kids having kids and then those kids having kids, and it has started many traditions.
Even though my grandma Marge passed away when I was still pretty young, I'm sorry, my family attributes our love of the spooky spooky to her as it's trickled down our family line.This is what you have to look forward to.Yes.
Side note, after she passed away, I for some reason wanted the Chucky doll, and my dad's response was, well, don't come crying to me if it comes after you in the middle of the night.Your dad sounds awesome.
Needless to say, that five-year-old did not take the doll and now sits in my aunt's basement in Atlanta.
Now, this spooky devotion hasn't stuck with every family member, but most of us share the love of Halloween and all the things that encompass that. Now to the meat and potatoes and yams.Wink wink.Shove my story on the yam.
Growing up an only child, my dad was like, fuck that multiple sibling shit.My parents always allowed me to have friends over, mainly because it kept me entertained and out of their hair, but I digress.
My parents' house became a spot that all of my friends knew they could come to over the years, show up unannounced and just chat, have spur of the moment play date or sleepover, or even a large gathering of friends.Oh, your parents are great.
I know, that's awesome.Halloween was always hosted at my house and my parents went all out.
yes decorations treats so many pizzas snacks scary movies hello blockbuster galore it was always a blast we would do haunted hayrides spooky cave walks uh trail of terror haunted houses oh my god you name it they took me and truckloads of my friends oh i love them best friends ever i can't wait to be a parent like that oh i can't wait
One of these particular Halloween weekends was when I was a freshman in high school.A large group of my friends and I went to see the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre in theaters, followed by multiple movies at my house with all the fixins.
We rented, yes rented, the original Texas Chainsaw movies, amongst others, and hunkered down in my parents' basement, lights off of course, and got cozy.
Now picture it, one of those huge comfy couches and giant chairs that could fit like four people on it and even more people on the floor.And I'm sitting on the end of the couch closest to the wall and tiny window that peeks outside.
After a while, I thought I heard something outside and asked, did anybody else hear that?Of course, they all said no.It was probably just the movie since we were watching a chainsaw movie and I thought I heard a chainsaw.Duh, that'll do it.
I just shook my head, thought I was hearing things, and kept watching the movie.
A few more minutes later, I heard the noise again, but it was very clearly not the movie, and my head snapped to the tiny window above my head, where I could tell it was now pitch black outside, so I couldn't see anything.
So I said, seriously, you guys didn't hear that?And they said, no, Adrienne, you're dumb and you're trying to scare us.There's nothing there. Third time's the charm.
A few more minutes later, I heard this whirring noise again, and this time, my bestie Elise also heard it.At this point, we paused the movie, and all anxiously awaited to hear the sound again.Nothing came.
Quick side note, earlier in the evening, my friends and I were talking about the shit that always happens in scary movies, like, let's split up, or let's hook up, or let's go investigate.All the classics, right?Yeah.
So my buddy Alex jokingly said, let's go investigate. and we all ran up the stairs that led right out the back door to our driveway and backyard.Keep in mind there are at least 10 of us, if not more, and Elise and I are the last ones out the door.
It's pitch black and incredibly quiet and we immediately regretted this decision, as they do in the movies.Of course.
Our backyard was wide open to the other yards, no fences, and the driveway wrapped around the house with lights on the side that were currently off.
As Alex and a couple other brave dudes walked slowly around to look down the driveway, SLAM goes the back door behind me and CLICK goes the lock.
Moments later, the lights on the side of the house switch on and in the driveway is a giant 6'4 man with a mask and a chainsaw. slowly hobbling towards us, ready to tear us all apart in the calmest manner.I'm obsessed with this.
It was as if a small drip of water landed among ants as we all went in different directions.Some screamed and ran through other backyards, some frozen terror.
And some of us, like Elise and I, tried to frantically get back in the house, but it was locked.
I love that you discovered in that moment who everyone was in a horror movie.The debate is done.You know who.It's no longer like, oh, you would be the person who does this in the horror movie.
You're like, nope, you would be the person who runs in The Next Yard.I would run into The Next Yard.
That's your best bet. As we were all trying not to pee our pants and vomit the insane amount of junk food we consumed, and many of us had dispersed, the man takes the mask off and with a giant grin, my dad starts laughing hysterically.Your dad.
Forever.Your dad.I'm obsessed.I love him.My heart starts to slow a smidge as my mother unlocks the back door and is also laughing hysterically, both very, very proud that their plan was so successful.As they should be.
your parents for fucking ever elite that is couple goals that is top notch marriage top tier notch parenting as far as i'm concerned so obsessed with wow my brother did this to your ex-boyfriend after watching texas chainsaw massacre actually incredible yeah it took a bit for all my friends to gather back up at my house as you can imagine one of the guys lived on the block behind me so he literally just went home he ran the
to resume our evening, but it was safe to say my dad set a precedent that night, and it was one that none of us have ever forgotten.
My dad, known as Big Wave Around Town, is always someone people remember and recognize, and this just solidified his legacy.Now that I have kids of my own, I have some goals to reach, and at some point, I have to top this.You got to.
I'm still friends with several of the people from that night, and we all like to talk about it and tell the story to relive the trauma of my dad scaring us shitless to this day.
Even those that weren't there know this story and now know who Big Wave is.Big Wave for fucking life.
Big Wave.Anyways, that's my tale.I hope you enjoyed it.We did.We did.And I hope Big Wave gave you something new to aspire to.Love you witches. Big Wave is my new goalpost.Big Wave.Big Wave, honey.Five ever.Big Wave for life.Big Wave.
Guys, those were awesome.Oh my god, that was so much fun.
What a beautiful mix of terrifying, hilarious, and so touching.I'm so glad that we got to get all dressed up and hang out with you guys and we're definitely going to do this again because this is just too fun. It's too fun to read these tales.
I love this.As other people.
I'm already thinking about what I'm going to be next time.Me too.
I'm already thinking about it.So hopefully this is the beginning of something fun.And we hope you guys liked it.And we hope you keep listening.
And we hope you keep it wee. But not so weird that you don't throw ass with the shadow man because why wouldn't you throw ass with the shadow man?
Not so weird that... Actually do keep it so weird that you have a ghostly ex-boyfriend who like talks to you through a New Orleans psychic because that was the most beautiful thing I think I've ever heard in my life.
Don't keep it so weird that you show up to somebody's door with a papier-mâché mask on.Keep it so weird that you're gonna give them a treat but like... don't keep it so weird that you don't tell them who you are because that was so scary.
Keep it so weird, don't ever keep it so weird that you're following little girls on Halloween night and trying to scare them.Fuck that, I'll kill you.And always keep it so weird that you're on Big Wave's level.Never ever sink below Big Wave's level.
Big Wave, Big Wave, Big Wave, Big Wave.
Happy Halloween!We love you!
I hope, I hope that was caught on film.We gotta start the fucking episode like that.Did you just hear her stomach?It literally, yes.It sounded like a lava lamp.
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