Hiya!Jacob Hawley here from the Screen Rock podcast.Hope you're doing well, Screen Rock fans, Rotters.We've got a bit of information for you.We put tickets on sale to our live Christmas special.
We put those tickets on sale last Friday to the top tier of our Patreon, the Illuminati.You guys sold that out in a few hours.We managed to get a few more tickets to put on sale for that event.We put it on sale to the Illuminati, the top tier again.
They sold it out in minutes.We're so grateful to that.We're really blown away.But we are aware that the rest of the Patreon members, the Freemasons, who pay £3.99 a month,
and you lovely lot who just listen and watch and don't give us any money, cheapskates, you didn't get a chance to buy tickets.So there's two things we want to do as a means of apology.
First of all, I want to offer all of you 20% off tickets to my tour show in London on the 24th of November. you can come and see my stand-up tour.It's called Space.It's a great hour of stand-up comedy.
You can come see me doing an hour of stand-up and Jake doing stand-up as well.He'll be supporting me at the top of the show.You can come and see that on the 24th of November.Enter SCREENROT in capital letters at the ticket checkout.
You can get tickets via the link in my bio or my website, jacobpaulie.co.uk, or the Park Theatre's website.Just put SCREENROT at the discount code.You'll get 20% off.Love to have some of you rotters there.
The second thing we're gonna do, we're gonna work on something much bigger. a big ScreenRot live show for the end of January.A kind of awards ceremony, maybe.
Something where we all wear our best clothes, our tuxedos, our glad rags, and we celebrate the best bits of Rot of 2024.If that sounds like something you'd be keen for, we're going to try and do that.
The tickets will go on sale to Patreons first in the same way this did.They'll go to the top tier of the Patreons first, then they'll go to the lower tier, then they'll go to everyone else.
If you want to be sure that you'll get tickets to the biggest live thing we're ever going to do at the end of January, the big awards do, the Rotties, make sure you sign up to the Patreon.Thank you very much.Enjoy this week's episode.
Welcome to the Screen Rot Podcast, the podcast where we discuss the weirdest and worst content that's been on our screens and indeed our minds.Very quick shout out to all the subscribers on Apple, Spotify and YouTube.
Massive shout out to everyone who pays their way over on Patreon, the Illuminati, you've all got free hats, the Freemasons who get extra episodes every month.
A massive shout out to Eugene who runs our Twitter account, he might be God, and most importantly and not least, a big wink and a kiss.I did a little on my face then.
to the ladies who listen, who are some of the most gorgeous and indeed sexy ladies in the United Kingdom.I'm here with Jake Farrell.I would love to do like a brain scan activity on you whilst you're doing that.
I reckon that might be the most stimulated you are like all year.We're not sure how he's doing.He's like Bradley Cooper from Limitless.How are you?
Welcome to the show.Welcome to the show, ladies and gentlemen.We should start by saying, sorry, I asked you how you were and then it got stimulated again. How are you doing?Welcome to the show!No, go on, what were you going to say?
I was just going to say, welcome to the show.New listeners, thank you very much.Thanks for joining us.If this is your first time listening, I hope you enjoy.Returning listeners, we love you so much and we hope you enjoy this episode of the show.
I ripped my trousers on the way here.Slightly concerned.Yeah, just underneath the crotch area.Slightly concerned.I'm trying to see on the camera what's going on in terms of that being on there.We're already getting videos demonetized on YouTube.
I can't also add in there, video demonetized.Host has genitals out accidentally.Your little mango gooch poking out at the camera.
That's definitely demonetization. Mango Gooch out of there straight away.Mango Gooch sounds like a type of like weed vape you'd be able to buy off Telegram.
Yeah, we sponsor with Mango the cat, Mango Gooch flavor.Mango Gooch 2k.The new Monster Energy drink.Other than that I'm fine.I've actually ripped two pairs of trousers in the last kind of fortnight to three weeks.I'm choosing to believe is just
blind bad luck and nothing to do with how old or decrepit my body is.
What's going on with you?I was sick, wasn't I?Last episodes I was very ill.Just coming back to full fitness?
Yeah, mate.It's proper, you know, old now.
I'm nearly 33.And it does take longer.It does take a lot longer.And obviously I've got a bad heart.Dodgy ticker.
So I had to go and get that checked because the GP was like, oh, your heart does funny things, doesn't it?And I was like, yeah, I said, I was like, I was like, I have told you this before.And he's like, oh, so I had to go to hospital.
I love it when they do that, where you go like, sometimes you go, like, have you got that on the notes or is it in your notes?And they're like, yeah, I'm sure it's in there.Yeah.What do you mean?Read them before I get here.
Tell me if they are.It was great with my guy.Basically, they were like, yeah, your heart rate goes up really quickly and comes down really quickly and then it stays low for a long time.
I was like, yeah, yeah, I was in hospital for a week, I know that.They were like, you need to have some scans.I was like, you sent me scans, you never told me the results.And the guy, my GP, he was like, who did all this then?
I didn't want to say, I was like, it was you.But he'd forgotten that he'd seen me six months ago.What idiot did all of this?
He was literally like, who, what?No one chased up the results.
And I just heard him be like, oh.So I had to go in, I had to go to hospital.
Who commissioned this brain scan for at the start of your podcast?
That's what does my heart.I get so overexcited by shouting out all the ladies in the UK.
Mr Hawley, do you ever have periods where you're almost holding your breath in order to speak fast?
Wait till you watch that intro back.I was trying to wink at them and kiss them at the same time and I think it might have looked like I was having a stroke.
So I went to hospital last week for the heart and where I live, I'm closest to the Whittington in Archway. And because it wasn't an urgent thing, it was like, you know, just go and get your heart checked.And I was like, oh, you know what?
I'll treat myself.So I drove to Hampstead.I was like, I'll go nice, you know what I mean?Nice big M&S next to the Royal Three.Nice big M&S.Brutalist architecture.Yeah, that's nice.Pop in, nice cafe, you can get a good coffee.
So I was like, I'll treat myself to there.I mean, like, honestly, you walk in, there's just blood everywhere.It's so bad. And I got, I was being seen by this little Slovakian nurse, she had to take my blood.Right.
And she, she, we just, we're chatting and I have to do a lot.I mean, people will be listening to this going, what the fuck is wrong with this guy?I've also got needle phobia.So, so I have to do a lot of like, look, you need to lie me down.
I'm going to pass out when you do it, blah, blah, blah.And she's like, what? Like a horse.Yeah, yeah, yeah, literally.Because a lot of them, and especially this one, I have to say that I'm like, you won't be able to lift me.Do you know what I mean?
I'm 63, I weigh 85 kilos, you're not gonna be able to get me up.83 on a good day, yeah.Well, it's not a good day, brother.
So we're chatting, and you know, she's like late 40s as well, I'm not like flirting or anything, but I was like, I used to have a Slovakian girlfriend.She was like, really?I was like, you know, telling her all about it.
And she said to me, this is mad, right?Bear in mind, I've chosen this hospital because I was like, It's good gear around there, yeah.
I said to this little slacker nurse, I used to have a slacker Mrs, and she goes, she goes, I come to United Kingdom because I wanted white English man.I went, right.Whenever they specify white, you're like, oh, where's this going?Yeah.
And she goes, the problem is I live in London.And I went, uh-oh.Right.And she goes, there are no white English man in London.
I'm just like, I'm just fucking there.
There's ironically some political parties that share her point of view, but they would not like the fact she's Slovakian.
They're not trying to get Slovakian nurses on site.
They'd be like, yes, we agree on that stuff.Oh no, but we also have an inbuilt prejudice towards Eastern European people as well.
You expect to not be seen for a while.You don't expect a fucking racist Slovak taking your blood.
No, that's true, you don't expect that.To be fair, she wasn't expecting a 32-year-old man that can't stand the sight of needles either, probably.
Yeah, but it's also like, I don't know, it's just like, it's like Zone 2 London, that there are people of every background sat around me, and it's just, I don't know, I don't want to sound like it, but you just feel like someone can hear you.
You're working amongst others.
In any walk of life, it's an insane thing to say, a truly deranged thing to say.In that situation, in the middle of London, it's an utterly deranged and really quite scary thing to say, actually, that those people walk amongst us, taking our blood.
I was like, to be fair, yeah, you are going to take extra good care of me, though.I'm exactly what you want.You haven't got any Irish heritage, have you?No. So then, so I had that on Wednesday, stressing me out.Racism at the hospital.
Racist Slovak nurses, not ideal.Then Friday, I was like, right, I need to get back to work.Like, you know, self-employed.Even though I was fucked, I was fucked, but I had this gig in Reading.I get there, I go to the gig in Reading, and then...
is a venue in Reading where I was supposed to have done a tour show, and just quickly, I'm on tour, starting in mid-November.Leamington Spa.Leamington Spa, Aylesbury, and London.They're the three November dates.Let's fill them up.
Let's get Rotters there.I want Rotter Hats in the audience at my stand-up tour.
That would be great.If you find us funny on here, we're funnier when we've fucking written it down first.
If you come to all three gigs, we'll dedicate an episode of the podcast to you.You can come on the podcast.No, actually, don't do that.I don't want people to do that.
If you do the big three, Aylesbury, Leamington Spa, London, in that order, because that's crucially the order they're in in time, what we understand to be linear time, then we'll send you some kind of letter like when someone turns 100.
Patron special, you can come on.
Not the main feed, but anyway.The slow back nurse is coming on next week.She's going to tell us what she thinks of Beaver.She'd love it.She'd love Beaver.
But anyway, so I was doing this gig in Reading at a venue where I was supposed to have done a tour show over the summer.I had to cancel the tour show over the summer because my girlfriend was really unwell.Don't know if you'd remember.So I get there.
And I mean, I get there, I just about, I'm powered by paracetamol, like I'm just, I just, I don't get paid for that work, so I have to go to work.Get there, two lads in the toilet.Oh, he's fucking turned up then.
I didn't fancy it in June though, mate.I was like, oh, fuck it.And here we go.And you know, we mentioned this before. People who come and see me do stand-up, they're sometimes a bit blokey, a bit laddy.You know, we love them, good laugh.
Ben and Shane, big up boys.But these two Reading lads, they were very much that.And they were pissed.
And they booked tickets to see me on tour and I hadn't come, but now I was just doing a kind of like mixed bill comedy night at this venue, so they booked tickets to this, and they're giving me a bit of stick, and I'm like soaked in sweat, I'm like sick.
You know, my throat is fucked, so I'm just like, God, how am I going to deal with this?I get on stage, and they're sat front row.Oh, of course they are.They're never at the back, are they?
It's hard, because they're being nice, and they've come to see me, so I can't just be like, shut the fuck up.And they listen to this, by the way, so they'll hear this, but they're shouting out and they're heckling.
I went on the Dead Men Talking podcast a few weeks ago.Basically they kept going, have you brought your sex doll with you?I was talking on that podcast about how I once got sent a full life-size sex doll.Which you then sent to me.
Which that's how it ended up. You know, busy comedy club, and I've just got these two lads- And they're doing private jokes.
And I'm having to explain, I'm going, no, the sex doll's not here, then there's another load, and I'm like, so the reason they're asking me about a sex doll, and I'm soaked in sweat, I'm so ill, and I'm struggling, I'm like, oh God, why am I talking about a sex doll?
These people in red are like, what sex doll?What is this Tory does?And these lads, they're hammered, they're drinking more and more, they're shouting out, they're loving it, they're loving that I'm getting sex dolls.
They always are, they're always having a great time.So then, I'm like, oh god, I need to just change the subject.And I'm like, what do I do?And I just look across the front row, and there's a couple, right?
Now, there's a couple who are LGBTQ, and I don't think they would mind me saying, gender non-conforming.It doesn't matter.I wouldn't bring it up, apart from what happens next.That's never good.
That's never good.Okay, all right.I'm just thinking, how can I clip this out in order?Well, don't worry, we'll sort it out.
No, it's fine.So I'm just like changing the subject.Couple.Hey, how's it going?You want a first date?And they're like, uh-huh.And then I'm like, cool.Yeah, how'd you meet?Blah, blah, blah.And they're like, Grindr.I'm like, sick.OK, cool.
And then these lads are like, Grindr.I'm like, oh, God, fucking hell, what have I done?I'm like, what's going to happen here?Like bringing an Excel bully to a child's party.Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, you brought Knuckles to our three-year-old's birthday, have you?The lads are going, Grindr. And I'm like, oh no.And what the lads start doing, they start going, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss at this couple.And the couple are fucking great about it.
They're going, oh, we will later, yeah, cheers, boys.Leave us alone.So I start taking the piss out of the lads.I'm like, you're like dogs.I'm like, you're randy, you're horny.You're so excited by the idea.I'm like acting it out.
And it's going down well.Everyone's laughing.I'm like, you know, look at these fucking lads. Yeah, yeah, kiss, kiss, kiss.Everyone's finding it funny.And then, but they, rather than realizing I'm taking the mick out of them, they love it.
So they start doing what I'm, like, they start acting up to the impression I'm doing of them.So I'm like thrusting my hips and be like, yeah, you guys shouting kiss at them.You're like trying to get them to shag.And they're like, yeah, we are.
So I'm thrusting their hips.And then one of them does one of the funniest things I've seen.So he turns to the couple and he's like, yeah, kiss, kiss, kiss.Starts thrusting his hips.And then he starts doing that.
One index finger going into other's fingers looped, which is the sort of universally recognised penis penetrative sex thing.
Then he realises that he's talking to an LGBTQ couple, so what he does, he's going like that, he's going, yeah, yeah, yeah, and then he goes, or, and then starts doing that, and then goes, or, and he goes, just whatever!
Fingers together, hands together, just whatever!
I was like, you know what?That's actually quite, um... It's quite, it's quite, it's sort of nice.
Yeah, that's actually quite encouraging.I mean, in an ideal world, he wouldn't be doing any hand gestures that suggest sex.
In an ideal world, they'd have shut the fuck up.Yeah.
But I was like, you know what?I was like... That is inclusive.In a world where you're gonna do the hand gestures, you're gonna do finger into whole of other four finger and thumb.It's good to, you can do, yeah.
whether your index finger is a penis and your other your fourth finger and thumb is is a is a vagina in that instance or receptacle yeah he could have done that as well yeah I don't know what he thinks gay sex is just two willies going together again gender non-conforming I don't know but I don't think that I like yeah we don't actually he's he's even woker than me maybe he just doesn't care just get it all out there smash it together smash something
Have a go.When I walked into that venue, if someone had said to me, these two lads are going to heckle an LGBTQ couple, I would have been like, right, I need to leave.But the fact that they actually did it that way, I was like, fair play, boys.
So actually, that's encouraging for the country.At comedy clubs in Reading, there's people that are inclusive and thoughtful.In hospitals, mainly racist.Yes.Ideal.Jacob, all his dispatches from the week.You'd want it that way around, wouldn't you?
Well, at least the drunks in Reading are inclusive.Right, fuck me, 14 minutes.Okay, we need to do an episode.So people who clicked on this for Gordon Ramsay would have just heard about two lads in Reading heckling an LGBTQ first date.
So, ladies and gentlemen, I've said his name.We always do this.We always build up the suspense of who we're going to be talking about when the title of the episode says who it is.
They all know who it is.Yeah.I mean, we do loads of deranged things on the podcast.If we stopped and explained every time we did a deranged thing, we'd be here all day.
None of it makes sense. Ladies and gentlemen, this week we are talking about the king of the kitchen.One of Britain's greatest exports.Someone who's been like... When you think about a mad Englishman, this guy's been the guy for 25 years.
This week we're talking about Gordon Ramsay.Darling. Oi, get on this.I'm really looking forward to getting on this this time.I'm looking forward to this.
Gordon Ramsay is, in my opinion, one of the most dynamic content creators the UK has ever produced.And his food's quite good as well. That's funny, yeah, that's a really good point.I think that's the story with him.
I think he's someone who the content has transcended the food.Yeah.He's an entertainer more so than he is a chef.Oh, 100%.In the same way that like, you know when people talk about Robbie Williams?I do all the time. Yeah, go on.
Your wife at dinner, being like, go on, tell me about Nebworth.Do you know what I think's good?But like, with Robbie Williams, it's like, people are like, is he a great singer?I don't know, but he's an amazing entertainer.
Yes, that was the commonly held opinion when we were growing up.
Around the Nebworth time, which incidentally, we grew up very close to Nebworth.And so like, those concerts were almost like a kind of, National holiday for us.I think I knew everyone I knew went to them.I think there was adults.
Yeah.Yeah.Yeah I think my mom and dad I don't know how were they snuck in or what were the really the situation was mine didn't go my mind were a bit like Well, my dad thought he was above Robbie.Did he?
Yeah, my dad was like a proper original Grebo in the 70s by late 70s He was a proper like long hair, you know Yeah, Pink Floyd all that business, you know, it's good but it did mean as he got always above it Do you know what he actually loved?
Right, and this is quite funny.He was always a bit sneery towards pop music, but I'm like, probably not.Bloody Kylie, you know, growing up, and he'd be like, let me put on my pink foot.Then he got fucking massive into the Scissor Sisters.
He went absolutely fucking nuts.What was the reason?Not that I've got anything against the Scissor Sisters.I think it might be, again people click on this one in Gordon Ramsay stuff, 20 minutes and we're talking about the Scissor Sisters.
Oh my heart's hurting, I need to go to the hospital. So I drove up to Nice Hospital, you know the one in Amsterdam.I drove up there, there's a racist in there, there was.Just us talking about our health problems.I think I put on a bit of weight.
My dickies are splitting.
I don't know, because they did actually cover Comfortably Numb, didn't they?They sort of did.Is that his way in?I wonder if that was his way in.I wonder if that made him think it was.
But I also, I don't think he realised, not to say my dad wouldn't have liked him if he'd have known it was a guy.
But the guy sings in a sort of falsetto, doesn't he?Yeah, yeah.And I think he thought it was a woman.Jake Shears.Yeah, right.But I think my dad thought he was a woman when he first heard it, just because he sings so high pitched.
He was being progressive, but not for the reasons he thought.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't have any issue with female singers.It's a bloke.No, no, but even when he knew it was J.P.
Anyway, Robbie Williams, entertainer, Gordon Ramsey.
But again, like even someone like Liam Gallagher, is he the best singer in the world? He's an entertainer.And I think there's a lot of... Do you know who else I think of in the same... So I go Robbie Williams, Liam Gallagher, and then Bradley Walsh.
100% yeah.He's not a quiz master, is he?No, no, no.No one's like, well Bradley's... He's a national treasure.Because he's an entertainer.
So I didn't know Bradley Walsh, but I interacted a lot with Bradley Walsh.Because I used to work at the theatre in Stevenage, behind the desk.
Yeah, Gordon Craig, he's a receptionist.My nan got me the job.
He was playing, well this is the thing, he had a bit of a dip before he came back to national prominence.He was the headline drawer of the panto.People were turning up in their droves to see him.
I think he still does it a bit.
Oh, he probably does much bigger ones than Stevenage now, but he was down there.And he was, imagine how the old deers, behind the counter, working behind the counter with me, reacted to Bradley Walsh.Do you reckon they were impressed by him at all?
Just a bit. Just a bit, and he knew what he was doing as well.He's like charming, if he can charm the birds out of the trees.
Oh man, I'd have loved to have seen that.How does he turn up?Does he turn, like, I kind of like the idea of him turning up like the Liverpool squad, like turning up in a track suit.
Big headphones on, wash bag under his arm.
He was turned up, he would always look smart, his hair was always in place, he would kind of half flirt with the 60 year old women and then straight down into the dressing rooms, another professional performance and then he'd be out of there.
Fucking brilliant.I think he is on that level Bradley Walsh.People like him and Brian Connolly as well.I love people like that that can do it all. And not in an ironic, kitschy way either.People watch him and his son drive around Europe in a bus now.
That's how watchable Bradley Walsh is.
And to be fair, you compare it to the other father and son travelogues, that's the one I'm watching.Oh, 100%.
I do not give a shit what Jack Whitehall's up to at any time.
But you know what, I think that's the problem with a lot of those travelogues, is they get it wrong, they go the wrong way.They go funny child and sort of random kooky parent.Whereas I think it's better when you've got funny parent and dipshit kid.
Do you know what I mean?That's more... Brad's son as well, not funny, so... Yeah, but that's good because then you get to see Bradley work.
But this is the thing with Ramsay, with Gordon Ramsay, like... We all get to him eventually.
which we'll talk about at some point.
No, but he is an entertainer.He's an all-round entertainer.All-round entertainer.
And what I also think is really important about him is that we're talking to him today, we're talking about him today as a content creator, which, by the way, like everything he does, one of the most successful, biggest content creators in the world.
He was a standard, old-school, terrestrial celebrity before he was a content creator.He has been, like Madonna, He has kind of spanned eras of entertainment, effortlessly moving between the two.
Yeah, because the thing is, there's so many chefs that couldn't keep it up.Oh yeah.There's so many chefs who were telly.Yeah.And who's the little fella?Do you know who I mean?He went in the jungle at some point.Gino De Campo?No, not Gino.
There was a little kind of... Anthony Warrell Thompson? Maybe.Is he sort of a bit tubby?Yeah, beard.Yeah, yeah.And I think, I think Gordon really mugged him off once.I think Gordon called him like a dwarf or something.
Yeah, that does sound like Gordon.Yeah.I think, I think Merle Thompson got done for shoplifting or something.I should have, I think they might have.
It's that era of Britain.Yeah.I think that's why I love Ramsay.Even, like, and we'll talk about how he's grown and how he's kind of, yeah, he's gone to America and he's become a bit different now.And he's massive on TikTok now.Yeah, huge.
With the kids as well.The kids love him.Well, yeah.We'll work out why.But I, I think it's a shame.But when I think of Pete Gramsie... 2005, The F Word on TV.Oh, so good.
Like, a different fucking cookbook that he's just throwing out every year, you know.Slightly different way of doing a beef wellington, do you know what I mean?
Oh, big time.Pork loin.There was bits of The F Word every week where he'd be in his, like, seven bedroom house in Knowing Hill, but that house now, he looks back on and thinks, that was small, that was his house.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.Well, then, you know, I like that he's a family man, You know what's funny, because recently I was like, obviously we've had people finding us recently.People finding the podcast.Yeah.Top Jewel found us.Yep.
Didn't hear anything, but that'll be a silent bullet.
I have told a few people, yeah.If he dies, not suicide.Yeah, I'm not currently planning to commit suicide.Yeah, yeah, yeah.Top Jewel, obviously The Moosh found us.
And we love him, he's a great man.We actually do! No, shut up, we're not talking about him!Anyway, he wasn't happy.So I was like, right, I want to be more positive on the podcast, I want to be nicer about the people.
And the annoying thing is, Ramsay's someone who we could be negative about. Do you know what I mean?
About the transformation over time, I think we could do, yeah.
Yeah, but I do like Pete Gramsie, and we're gonna watch some Pete Gramsie in a moment.Pete Gramsie, I love it so much.I love how entertaining it was.I love how British it was.I love what he stands for in terms of masculinity.It's real kind of like,
early noughties, it is a bit metrosexual.Very, yeah.Like, you know, the kind of, isn't it like... Gelled hair.Gelled hair, styled hair.Yeah, yeah.But also, like, a little flash of, like, chest when you're getting changed.Bit of chest hair, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, but it's also like... Deep v-necks. deep v-necks, woolly scarf, blazer over the v-neck.You know.You're sitting with David Becker watching the LA Lakers.Lightly washed boot cut jeans.Yeah, I do.Over a Converse.Yeah, perfect.
Yeah.It's a bit matter that.
New labor.Yeah, it's that.It's that.Things can only get better.And it was fun.It was good times.People forget that.
And he's been around for all of it.He survived the 14 years of Tory rule.He made his name under Big Tony and Gordon.He was there for Cameron.He's outlasted them all.He's still at the top of his game.
He's still a relevant celebrity.And also, it's the entertainment that's done it.To be honest, it's not the food.I don't know how many of his restaurants you've eaten at.I've never eaten at one of the good ones.
No, neither have I. I've got friends that have on special occasions. about the nice ones?
The nice ones apparently are really nice okay and still again like quite classic so they don't like go out of style I think because it's like beef wellington steak you know it's good good stuff the I have eaten it like a Gordon Ramsay burger yeah bit of rough bit of a rough stuff bad not great
Yeah, it's worse than honest.But again, they're mega successful.I might have just had a bad day.They're mega successful.People love them.People love him.People go for the brand.
One of the burgers at the Ramsay Street Burger is named after one of his social media clips.That's where we've got to.It's called an idiot sandwich.
Yeah, I mean that will get to this, but that's the kind of peak for me.The only other thing I want to say quickly before we get into this, there's a lot of rumours around him.I remember tabloids taking pictures of him picking up poppers in Soho.
There was rumours of a gay affair.I've got a little bit of intel. I fucked him.
Me and Gordon are in a committed homosexual relationship.
We're actually in a throuple with these guys from Reading.No, my missus actually delivered one of his kids.
Can you tell people that?
That's a great question actually.Maybe, yeah, but we'll give it a go.
Is that some kind of medical thing?
Maybe actually. Let's just say it, and see what happens.What do you mean?We've done that so far.Alright, fair enough.
You know he's got loads of kids, and shout out one of our friends, another comedian, Mickey Overman, who I remember years ago had a very funny bit of material about how he's treating his wife like an oven, he keeps just cooking things.
But he's got loads of kids and they all look like him, don't they?But one of the younger ones, my missus delivered, helped his wife and delivered the baby.
Yeah, yeah.Five, six, I don't know.But she was like, they're fucking lovely.She's like, they're one of the loveliest families I've ever been around.And he loves his wife.So just for anyone out there.Just for anyone out there.
I do poppers, so he's not...
And he's in a relationship with Gordon Ramsay.
Yeah, so... I'm chagging Gordon.No, no, but just because he's buying poppers doesn't mean he's cheating on his wife with a bloke.
Well, that is also very New Labour era, actually, of, like, not poppers, no, of people kind of out of nowhere being accused of being gay. the footballer Graham Lasseau was just out of nowhere.And it was a really common thing to do.
I suppose at the time, it was still kind of like a kind of laddish joke, like, oh, he's gay.And so it's like, it was interesting to me.
I feel like now, if it was like, if Gordon got, it might be like, oh, Gordon's- The news would be he's having an affair.Yeah, exactly.
Not that he's gay.You know what I mean?It's not really that interesting.Which he should be.You see, like, that's the point.It's like, oh, you're cheating on your wife.Yeah.Oh, you might be attracted to men.Anyway, let's get into it.
So I've loaded up an episode. And we're gonna watch a couple of scenes from this episode of Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares, which I think was his first kind of TV thing.Yes.People know what we're talking about.
If you don't know what we're talking about, this is where Gordon Ramsay, he was like top chef at the time, few books out, trained by Marco Pierre White.Well, this is the thing, yeah.At the time, Ramsay was like this scary chef.
And he got that from Marco Pierre White.Yes.And he was like, I think Marco Pierre White was his mentor, wasn't he?He was, yeah.But then they fell out.I think they fell out a few years later, yeah.
Because Ramsay turned up to Marco Pierre White's wedding with a film crew.Oh, was that part of it, was it?Yeah.Right, right.Yeah, yeah, yeah.When he was on the ascendancy.Yeah, yeah, yeah.Interesting.
He tried to turn up and film himself at one of Marco Pierre White's.I'm going to do the same at your wedding.Well, I mean, I was going to say, if you saw the way me and my mates behaved at each other's wedding.
Walk around with our weed vapes shouting fucking bollocks out big Dave shouting smash or pass as the fucking bridesmaids walk out So, um, yeah, so we've got an episode of Kitchen Nightmares This is one of his first four days in television and they like the clips we've lined up
tell you who he was at the time.Now some of this I think is a bit ugly, and I've included it specifically because it is ugly.It shows you the ugly side of Ramsay, but it's unvarnished, it's un-Americanised, it's organic.
And it's so indicative of British TV at the time.So this one, he's actually, again this was a thing really close to my heart as a youngster, because he's at a restaurant in Letchworth, Garden City, which is near Stevenage.
That's the town where my parents grew up. And he is doing a kitchen nightmares on a restaurant there that's going tits up and he's trying to build some masculinity in the manager
time and time again, the perfect opportunity for a great local Italian eatery in the middle of a very wealthy town.
I don't think it's as produced as it would be now.No, it's not.So I genuinely think this guy is surprised.
You jumped up little fucking prick.Who the fuck do you think you are?Because you as a maitre d' are fucking useless.I've done it to upset you.I'm going to have to teach Gavin how to get tough if he's going to have any authority.
tell me exactly what you think right now what's going through your head and get off your chair his staff and his customers get it out look there's no one here for fuck's sake we're in the middle of a field you've got to have authority and customers have got to walk in there looking for you yeah and you've got to get a reputation yeah i just see this sort of little lost boy moping around
And there's things that are going on in that dining room that you should be aware of, yet you're totally clueless.So I'm really nervous that you're not supporting Alex properly.So what I want you to do is start getting angry.Why did you send that?
Stop!That sounds like a fucking dickhead in a choir.The golden rule in any dining room, you have to be in control of your staff.What the fuck do you think you're doing, you fucking idiot?And not let your staff control you.Where is our food?
That's enough.The thing is, look, as I say, this wasn't as like produced as TV is nowadays.It's not as scripted, not as staged.This is a guy who I think was in business with his mate.
They were going bankrupt. They've struck gold.They've got the lottery numbers correct this week.The best chef in the country is going to come and save them.What's he going to do?
Is he going to give you a nice new menu?Is he going to point you in the direction of cheaper stock?Is he going to teach you to cook things?
to take you to a park and scream in your fucking face and tell you that you need to start doing that because that's what customers want.
So good and like this was a trope of every Ramsey episode every week they would have to do a thing that was like obviously we're going to redesign the menu we're going to give you a little refit yeah yeah yeah make it look slightly better but we need another ideally no cost idea that some kind of behavioral change to the waiting staff yeah
And so like, we can't, no, we can't pay for therapy for the waiter.You just need to go and shower him in a park.It needs to be completely free, whatever the idea is.
And they dramatize it as if it hinges on this.Yes, on him finding his voice.You've now got a menu designed by Gordon Ramsay.You've got a retrained chef trained by Gordon Ramsay.Your dining room has been completely refitted and refurbished.
But what is going to decide whether you go out of business or not is whether he can shout in your face.It's whether Gavin can call someone jumped up little cock end.
And it, look, but this is the thing.I think back then.
Those were the good old days.This is it.It was reality TV.Yeah.When reality TV was actually toxic.Yes.As toxic as reality, right?This is when people were having actual nervous breakdowns on Big Brother.Yes.You know what I mean?
Like, people were coming out of the jungle with PTSD.
Again, before we became woke, we used to give people breakdowns on reality TV before when this country was a proper country.
When this was a proper country, pre-Mentih, Yes.Like, no one's worried about his fucking mental health, are they?No.
He can't sleep at night.It's just lucky for Gordon that this bloke didn't have some kind of severe breakdown, because he would be, he would have sued him for every penny he's got.
Well, but here's the thing.A, wouldn't be surprised if the guy does have a major breakdown, because the interesting thing is, if you go back and read about any of the restaurants that you visited, most of them do just close down.They go bust, yeah.
Surprisingly, teaching the maitre d' to shout in a park doesn't turn the restaurants around.
So I do wonder how good their mental health is after they've gone out of business after being humiliated on national television.
Yeah, we had Gordon Ramsay on.Did he sort it out?No, the restaurant closed and I can't speak in public anymore.
Yeah, yeah.I can't show my face down the pub anymore.No.And I'm out of business anyway.
Because he called me a jumped up little cock end in the park in Letchworth.But you know, this is useful because this is so different.He's very different.We always talk about on this dreadful podcast that we do.
It's about character and he's developing the characters in the early stages there.So he's got the, yeah, he's got that, that kind of Tony Blair.Yeah, sure.I don't know if they're up to it.He's got the hand gesture.
He's got the kind of, he's, he's moving his body up and down a lot.He's not quite become the American Ramsey, the Botoxed American look like a thumb Ramsey that is coming later on in the piece.
But this is the thing, and I think that's a purely, and it's why he's so good, is he adapts to the form.So like, if you think, this was around the time of the UK office coming up.Now, the acting in the UK office isn't big.
It's quite naturalistic and kind of low, because there's enough pauses and awkwardness around it that that's what creates the laugh.You don't need to shout, you don't need to be really big
Yeah, as opposed to the American office where, which is also very funny, but where Steve Carell is generating a lot of laughs by being over the top.
Yeah.Right.And it's almost like, it's almost like he, he knew he was like, okay, with, with around British people for British television, I can kind of not, he's not reserved in this, but it's a little bit more normal. No, he's not reserving.
He's shouting you're a cock end in someone's face.
But as soon as he got to America, it's like he was performing to a studio audience.
Should we watch one of those clips now to kind of do the difference?
Is there anything else we need to see from this?Probably not.I mean, the only thing I'd picked out, there's a couple of bits. We don't need to watch it.He does feed meat to a vegetarian.
Again, on the spectrum of things that definitely, definitely, definitely wouldn't be on TV anymore, taking the piss out of someone for being a vegetarian feels very Tony Blair. Feeding them meat.
Deliberately tricking them into eating meat.Yeah.And there's a line that the vegetarians, you know, they're trying out a new pizza menu and they trick this vegetarian.
And it's that kind of thing where, like, him and the restaurant owner and the maitre d' who's pictured here, they kind of come together because they fight a common enemy.Yeah.
Vegetarians.Vegetarians.Blue heads.
and they sneak this guy some meat on a pizza and there's just a bit where the guy and it's so like pressing because it's like back then this this was just like a throwaway line that no one listened to whereas now it would have been like the end of the series yeah if I just goes around goes that was really mean
And he's the butt of the joke in that situation.Whereas now it'd be like, Ramsey is really mean.
But like, see, that's Ramsey in Lettruth.That's season two, episode one of British Kitchen Nightmares.That's peak British Kitchen Nightmares.Where there is still some kind of gesture towards it being a show that might
save a restaurant rather than being a freak show, a kind of stage-managed freak show.
They're not just sort of fishing for clips of him mugging people off.Back then there is the kind of, he's trying to save the restaurant.Then of course we went to magazine show Ramsey, the F word, four parts.
Gervais is on as the guest, Janet Street-Porter's learning how to make foie gras. What was going on with him and Janet Street Porter?That's a conversation in itself.I mean, I know how I've already given away confidential information.
You've given away confidential information and you said to not speculate as to whether he was having an affair.But the Janet Street Porter stuff. That was mad.I mean, it was a mad segment.
A lot of it was about him kind of dragging her, do you remember it?Do you remember on the F word?He would drag her around the country with Hugh Fearnley wings.
I don't really understand what the point of it was, but it was always like, right, I'm gonna make you meet an animal, and then I'm gonna show you exactly how it's killed, and then we eat it.
Like, it would kind of make sense if the whole point of the bit was like, Janet's considering vegetarianism or Janet's, you know, anti-vegetarian and we're challenging her.It wasn't.
It just seemed to be, well, Janet and Gordon have got this weird kind of negging kind of thing.They clearly want to fuck each other but they're really mean to each other and they'll say horrible things about her teeth.
and it's kind of funny to make her go around the country meeting sheep yeah whilst and she'll be a bit like oh i like the sheep oh you're actually gonna have to kill it well well while ramsay and hugh fernley wittingstall your impression of bevo
Bevo and Janet Street Porter.Who else do you do?James Aikens.You're not going to kill the pig, are you?I don't like a bacon sarnie that much.She'll be doing that, and then him, and he'll have Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall to sort of back him up.
He'll be like, no, no, we have to do this.Him and Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall will just sort of walk around a farm looking at livestock in the same way that two pervy old men walk around the red light district in Amsterdam.Lovely.
Like the lads in Reading.
And it would just be that for 10 minutes.Do you know what I think that came from?I think that a lot of people on British television productions are justifying their jobs.
And I think that ultimately the best thing to do would be to turn a camera on and let Gordon do whatever he wants.Yeah.
but there are people and there are segment producers and there are assistant producers, and they have to ultimately say, no, we need to do this thing.We need to go to Yorkshire with Janet Street Theatre.
And I do think that social media has basically cleansed that now or made it go away.Like during COVID, they kind of, all of these rules got broken where like, you know, they never really used to have anyone on Zoom on a show, on the telly.
They would like, oh, they can't do that.And then on COVID, they had, during COVID, they had to do that.And now like, it's a given.
Well, mate, I've experienced this.
I've not done loads of TV, but where I've made shows for BBC Sounds or Radio 4, the word that they use, and it's exactly what you're talking about, TV commissioners and TV producers always say, they're like, we have to feel like you've gone on a journey.
We have to feel like you've gone on a journey.So I made that Jacob Hawley on drugs, that kind of podcast series for BBC Sounds that ended up being quite an earnest exploration of drugs.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.I mean, Finn Taylor once called me the Zone 5 Louis.Yeah, I like that.Like, I remember on that they'd be like, we'd be like, yeah, should we do an episode about acid?
And they'd be like, yeah, but can it feel like you've gone on a journey?And it's like, well, what do you mean?And it's like, well, they'd make us drive to fucking Oxford to meet someone to talk to them about acid.Take a day.It's a fucking podcast.
Yeah, and it's like that was I also think with the the getting getting Janissary port to go around the country meeting pigs before they're slaughtered It's like it was a real era that kind of mid-noughties new labor What's actually in our food?
Yes.Yeah.Yeah, there were like growing middle-class growing growing amount of people with time to cook and Care about it became a symbol of status.I suppose.Thanks look to people like Gordon.I
Yeah, yeah, but there was just like a thousand different television shows over-analyzing the way people eat, right?
Julian McKeith, Dr. Julian McKeith.
Julian McKeith, you know, too fat versus too skinny.Like Jamie Oliver chasing... Twizzlers.Twizzlers around the country, all this.And I will just say... Please, it's all the podcast's for. In the, you know, that was like mid-noughties.
I was like sort of 10, 12 when I was on television.
In the few years following that, when I started having girlfriends, I do suspect it was maybe disproportionate, the amount of girlfriends I've had over the years who had some level of eating disorder.
And I do think this television, which over-analyzed and certainly guilt-tripped the nation about what they eat and how it's made.I do suspect that was a massive influence
Yeah, and Dr Gillian McKeith famously used to analyse people's shit on telly.I think she was a doctor of history of art or something like that.
She was not a doctor.Again, it's like, why her?
Why Janet Street Porter?Why are those women just going round the country poking pigs and poking shit to make people at home feel
It did become the kind of like, and this is still a little bit of a thing, it became like the era of like causes, like celebrity chefs having causes, like Jamie's big one was school dinners, obviously.
They were constantly having to campaign on stuff.I think like Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall was about like organic farming, I think.There was a fish thing that he was doing.Oh maybe, yeah, yeah, yeah.
He was like... It was like, I remember there was always a bit of a thing of like, it's always just better if you can be natural.It's always just better if you go to the source.It's like, yeah, that's it.
Yeah, I quite like the idea of no more turkey twizzlers and fresh meat.Yeah, I like the idea of rams.But then it was like, oh, but then you've got this horrible fucking tramp.He rarely went into tour.He'd go too far.
He'd be like, well, if we have a bit more mould on our cheese, fuck off, mate.You're disgusting.
And on the other end of the spectrum, you'd have Dr. Gillian McKeith, who would do this thing where she'd get everything that they would eat.It was called, you are what you eat, and she'd get everything what they would eat in a week.
and I always remember like she would get it and it'd be like Chinese takeaway jammy Dodgers and it'd be everything they ate on a table and I'd be like that's what we eat yeah yeah I know I know I remember I remember having that exact and also like they would do things to make it seem as disgusting as possible yeah yeah yeah she'd like I remember I remember they'd get this big tube and they'd throw a lot of it in the tube they'd like get like ready meals like lasagna
She's like, it's just a fucking lasagna, I think it's alright.
I guess, yeah, that was the new Labour TV era.I mean, yeah, it was a really strange time.And I guess Gordon kind of transitioned out of it.He broke America.
This is a thing and you know, a lot of people just spoken about Janet Street Porter.What's she done since then?Not loads.What's Jillian McKeith done?Yeah, not a load.It's like Ramsey spotted the sinking ship and went fuck this.I'm out.Yeah.
And so they started doing Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares in America.And then we've got a clip from this.But I I do think what made it really great got lost in the end.
But I also think there was a kind of sweet spot where he'd kind of dialed up his performance a little bit for the Yanks, but also they didn't know what the fuck to do with him.Because the thing is with him, he's high status.
And when Yanks encounter high status British people, they think we're Bond villains. Because if you think about what they see British people as, how many American films has the villain got a British accent?A lot.A lot.
They are quite nervous of us when we're not nerds.
Or we're bumbling bad idiots with terrible teeth.
They want us to be that.They want us to be Austin Powers.But when we're not Austin Powers, they think we're fucking terrified.
Yeah, you're a big fucking hefty chef with dyed blonde tips Yeah, Sean for swearing.They don't know what to do.
Yeah military background.
Yeah ex-footballer They wouldn't understand these Scottish buys poppers on a weekday So this is Gordon Ramsay reacting to an episode of Kitchen Nightmare and
And we're not going to watch all of it because it's a really long clip, but I think just spot like the kind of ways in which the storytelling is made so crude and dialed up as opposed to the really kind of low budget version filmed in Letchworth.
There's lots of dialogue.
Chef's just on his phone.
He went just staring at it.
They're always dickheads in this.I'm so confident overseeing my guys that I got nothing to worry about.These guys been by my side for 15 years.So scripted.Now go, go, go, man, go.Let's see what he thinks.It just looks disgusting.
It doesn't.It's very creamy.
Is it always this creamy?Yeah, it's usually creamy.It just looks like the lobster was dead before they cooked it.They're from the lobster from the tank.
You want to take a look?OK.
You want to take a look?Got over to the tank.
So he's fishing around in the tank now.He's pulled out a lobster.
It's already dead. He snapped his neck.Just carry it out through the restaurant in a bowl.
He smelled it.Fucking hell.Oh shit, the fucking lobster's dead.Oh no.
What you can see there is they're setting up the chef as a guy who loves texting and who's shit.And then they get him to do the classic office candid talk to camera shot, talking head.
And he does it, but as you'll notice there, so much more scripted than the UK version.
Yeah, and it's hard because I suspect there's a bit of bullshit. What do you think?Do you think that's real?
No.I mean, I think that there's got to be a storyline, and there has to be something terrible that happens in the first.
So the way it works, he goes in, before he's started working with them properly, before he's put on the chef's whites, he puts on, he has a meal, it's always shit, obviously, the chef's a dickhead, always, something has to go wrong during that first one.
Yeah.Darling, darling, this potato's cold.Have you tried that?That's disgusting.Wow, fuck me, darling.In this one, is that lobster dead?
And it's all just so, so scripted.
And also just like the speed and confidence he has to go over to the lobster tank and just be like, well, OK, if you want to come and see the lobster, I guess you can.
fucking pulls it out, snaps its neck and starts sniffing its flesh.
As if that's like a normal way for anyone to behave.Wow, fuck me.As if he wasn't going to do that, the staff would be like, do you want to sniff its flesh, Chef Wamsley?
You want to snap his neck and just smell his flesh, see if it's started to decompose yet?Fucking Joey Tribbiani, the chef inside, going, I think Chef Wamsley's going to love my food.I got no fucking problem cooking food for Mr. Wamsley.
It's like, they look like mafia guys.He comes in with a dead lozenge, he's like, he's fucking dead.He's like, he's fucking dead.He's fucking dead.Oh shit.
Guy's dead.Oh fuck it, get out of here.
But another thing there, in the way that America's off to do, they call him Chef Ramsay as well, which I love.Just wouldn't call him that over here, just call him Gordon.But over there, they call people Coach, Coach, Coach Carter.
They call him Coach Carter.
It's almost military, isn't it?It's like, it's like Lieutenant Dan, Chef Ramsay.
But that's like, that's Gordon on his way to mega stardom.That's it, on his way to America, LA.Cosmetic surgery stardom.
Then as you say, it's like with the British one, the humor was kind of in the awkwardness and kind of how he placed himself.
And you know, it would kind of cross the line of what's okay and what isn't, but it was awkward and it was slow and it was pausey and it was a bit weird.I always remember one, me and my girlfriend, this was like a real like,
During lockdown, we went back and watched every, every Kitchen Nightmare.Yeah, right, right.UK and American.We, no, we didn't do American, because I don't like, because this is the thing.It's too much.
The UK ones were great, because it was all this kind of awkward kind of, and the status thing was really weird.Some chefs would want to go, Fuck you, Gordon!And some people would be like, I'm so sorry, Gordon.
And then there'd be like restaurant owners who would think that they knew better than him.And it was just bleak and funny.
And then there was some where what was really great, and this was real kind of like just before the credit crunch, sort of 2008 Britain, where there are people who've got like more money, they thought they had more money than they actually had, right?
Would go and start open restaurants in Spain.
And I just remember there was one, it was somewhere in Spain, and just the way he said it, like the start of the episode, I remember the voice, he was like, I'm in Spain, and fuck me, these guys are in trouble.
And it's like, as we said earlier, like obviously what's important is being like, I don't know, stop cooking prawns with chocolate sauce on them, right?That's what will save the restaurant.
But then they'll kind of like dramatize it and make this really like weird moment, like, I tried to shout at him in the park, and if he can't fucking take that, how the fuck is he gonna take on like a full service, right?
Or like, there was the one in Spain, they sort of really like, added way too much importance to the fact that there was a local donkey sanctuary, the staff of which had come for dinner and had a bad experience and they'd never been back.
And so they set up this kind of- That's the arc, that's the narrative arc.Yeah, yeah, exactly.So like, rather than it being like, stop cooking prawns with chocolate on, it was like, you need to fucking make up with the donkey sanctuary.
they filmed this insane scene where he's on the back of like a wagon with a donkey pulling him into this donkey and he's got this like plastic bag of carrots and you just see these like mad British expats just you've just been lined up by the producers just like well i guess going around just coming to see us in the donkeys he's like if i give you donkeys these carrots would you consider having dinner at the restaurant one more time
I guess so, yeah.And then the arc is complete, like, you know, they sell out the restaurant, they get good reviews, he's like, but most importantly, what did the donkey sanctuary people think?
And at the end of it, he's like, yeah, it was nice, they had a nice stay.
And bear in mind, we're saying the point of this is, it got more outlandish when they went to America.
But the problem was, it's like, it was silly.Whereas in America, they say it just went bigger and bigger and bigger.And it was all about his status in relation to the staff, right?That's what they loved.And do you know what's interesting?
We did Bevo last week.Yeah, we did a podcast about Bevo last week.We did a revisit on Bevo last week.
And one of the clips we released, so, you know, peek behind the curtain, we're recording this, the day between the first clip has come out and the episode's gone out to Patreons and it actually go in public.Yes.
And we've got a bit viral on Twitter from one of the clips where Bevo talks about being a cuck, right? And a few people replied, because the thing is in that clip, there's an American guy saying to Beaver, so you're a cuck.
And he's like, oh, define cuck, please.And the guy's like, no, you're a cuck.You let your woman sleep with other men.You're a cuck.And a few people replied being like, the thing is, Americans are obsessed with cuck holding. Right.
And there is something about the way they are so keen for Ramsay to bollock them.They are so keen.
There's a sadomasochism to it.Yeah.
They really want the big chef with the big hands to come in and tell them off.
to the point that they will hide a fake dead lobster in a tank and let him rip its head off just so that he's got the reason to go, what are you doing?It's fucking dead!Say it again, Chef Ramsay, I've got my privates in a cage.
Tell me my wife doesn't love me, Chef Ramsay.
When Chef Ramsay called me a useless cockhead, I felt feelings I haven't felt since I was a teenage boy.
Where's Chef Whamzy called me an idiot sandwich?I don't know what to say.I was fucking hot.I was what god?I don't know what it is.I mean, we've hinted at it.We should probably watch it.
The clip that's kind of made him like go from like, you know, regular TV personality to megastar is the fucking idiot sandwich.
And we're going to look at the reaction to that clip.I think that clip's kind of been done to death in a way.So this clip is that clip being reimagined on The Late Late Show with James Corden.And I think
If you think back with Trace the Origins, he's in Letchworth, he's in a park recording a TV show for about 40p.He's in America faking a dead lobster being in a tank.Now he's on primetime American TV with James Corden.
This summer, two talk show hosts will square off in epic battle.Laughter game.Julie may be on the talk, but she is all talk.And data.
I'm ready for this.James Corden, he can suck my... Hell's cafeteria.
You two, order on two omelettes, one plain, one with bacon, please.Yes, yes, yes!Come on!Speed up!
So now he's playing the role of himself, of the sweary chef.
Oh god, the laughter track is so good.
Why would she eat it?It doesn't make sense.
This is one of the worst sketches I've ever seen.
So there they've played that they've played the idiot sandwich track and the reception for it is like what I imagine it's like when David Gilmour does like another brick in the wall of the Pink Floyd it's like that's what we came to see.
Do you know what it reminds me of and we've referred back to this a lot and it's quite sad how often we refer back to old like original Gervais screenwriting.It reminds me of extras when he gets the catchphrase in the Christmas special.
That's what's happened to Ramsey.He's got a catchphrase.He's sold out.He's got a catchphrase.And he's an idiot sandwich.The guy who used to go round Letchworth,
shouting in people's faces and feeding meat to people it was edgy it was mad it wasn't saturday night live fucking james corden and do you know what it's like it's like a bear that's been made to work in a circus yeah it's what it's like if you watch marco pierre white
that is still a wild animal yeah that is still that's he's still a young buck do you know what i mean yeah he says mad shit all over that he's constantly i know he does noradverts or whatever but he's still a fucking head case that guy with an intensity behind his eyes he would never stand for this no never in a million years he wouldn't and it's it's
Yeah, Ramsey's kind of gone safe.He's gone safe because none of it's real anymore.The thing is, we were like, oh yeah, so here's him doing a sketch of himself.Yeah.It's like, well, what's the difference between that and the lobster bit?
Yeah, it's just less funny.Yeah, exactly.
It's much more funny when it's at least vaguely real.
Yeah, but then it's hard to appreciate modern Ramsey because we know original Ramsey.Yeah. I suspect this is a thing.He's now he's big on tik-tok and we've got a clip now of where he's Interacted with someone we've done an episode about before.
Yeah, because his thing now He's not stupid.I say he's not stupid.I think he's one of the smartest businessmen of the last 20 years Oh my god, that is an understatement.The way he's adapted Yes.And the way he's continued to build.
He's a content genius.He is a content fucking genius.And what he's realised, he's gone, there's not enough TV in the world for me to do.No.Just do TikTok.Yeah.And if what people want is me bollocking people based on their culinary skills.
They can fucking have it.I can do it direct.Yeah, right.Don't wait to set the fucking cameras and lights up.I don't need Endemol.Just send me shit on the phone.And that's what people do now.
People send Gordon Ramsay their recipes so that, like these fucking, the world is a cuck. for Gordon Ramsay.
Everyone on earth wants to get shouted at by Gordon Ramsay.Man, woman and child.
Everyone on this planet wants to pull on their little pantyhose, wants to put their privates in a tiny cage and screw it up and have Ramsay tell them their shit.
Why does it always end up with cuckolding? Well this is Ramsey doing his kind of now classic TikTok video and he's analysing a recipe by our good friend the King of Dublin, Up The Bows, Nasty.
Okay. Wow, he's taking the piss out of Nasty.
So Nasty is dipping Biscoff biscuits into milk and making a waffle.
So he's putting, he's putting banana and cream and... He's putting it in a toasty.He's putting waffles in a toasty.Now... Do you know what he reminds me of?
He's become such a caricature of himself.You know, like, I don't even know if you get these nowadays.You know, like 20 years ago, when A Bug's Life came out, yeah?You used to be able to get a Toys R Us.
That's how you date 20 years ago, is when A Bug's Life came out.Probably longer.But you'd be able to buy, like, a toy of the main character, and you'd press a button, and it would say its most famous phrases.That's what Ramsay feels like there.
He doesn't feel like actual Gordon Ramsay.It feels like an action figure based on Gordon Ramsay, and someone's just pressed the button to go, hey! Stop that!What are you doing?Disgusting young man!You know what I mean?
I love doing this podcast so much because every so often something completely unexpected will happen and what's happened there is that you've revealed that you had a beloved Bugs Life toy when you were a kid because any other person would have said Woody from Toy Story.
Any other person our age. And you said instead.You remember like when you had that like beloved toy that your nan gave you and it made you feel like really special.It was like you were the happiest boy in the world.Do you remember that?
It was about 20 years ago.Do you remember that? That happened to everyone, didn't it?About 20 years ago.Psychotherapists are going to be listening to this being like... Your Proustian Madeleine is the... Your Rosebud is the Bugs Life toy.
His Rosebud is the Bugs Life toy.And he will not stop speaking about Coke Holding. He's got this weird thing with a buck slide and he won't stop talking about it.
It's like, it was good, it was big when we were young, but it's not like Snow White or something.
People have to Google what a bug's life is.To me, it's the most important thing in the world.But do you know what I mean?The point still stands.I guess, yeah.I guess it's Woody.There's a snake in my balls.Put that down, young man.Disgusting.
Yeah, and the final bit, and this is like... This is the end point of this, like, we've seen him transition into social media star, and now he's kind of in amongst those as one of those, not as someone separate to them, not as a mainstream star that's coming into the social world of a piece with other social media stars.
No, he's a peer.He's a peer amongst them.Again, Marco Pierre White.And this is someone who we've not spoken about much on the podcast, but we have encountered personally for a few years, this is... Good old Uncle Roger.
This is Gordon with Uncle Roger.Again, I'm not going to watch all of it a bit long.
Uncle Roger, recently I meet Gordon Ramsay.I was special guest on his TV show Hell's Kitchen.
So this is Uncle Roger doing a stand-up show where he talks about being on Hell's Kitchen with Gordon Ramsay.
It's Tony Hawk.And Uncle Roger go, Gordon, why you ask Tony?He skateboarder.He don't know shit about food.Might as well ask Jamie Oliver.
Jamie taking strays from Uncle Roger.
That guy's so terrible, correct?Any Jamie Olive-Oi fan here?What?Camera, look at her face.You're gonna get punched at this show.Why you like Jamie Olive-Oi?Why?I like his accent.You like his accent?At least you don't like his food.Good, good, good.
Uncle Roger, recently I reviewed Jamie Oliver.
I'm going to skip this stuff.
I'm going to close... Open more restaurants!Gordon so nice to Uncle Roger.When we meet Gordon so nice, he give Uncle Roger four wok.Four, yeah?And in any other circumstance, that would look little bit racist.
Too bad everything is gifted to him, look who it means.Here you go.Take back to your people.Take back to your people. And then Gordon say, oh, don't worry, Uncle Roger.I'm going to ask my assistant to mail the walk back to you in London.
And Uncle Roger go, no shit.I'm not going to bring four walk with me.Walk through airport.
I think that's like, I guess the point, the reason I want to show you this is like, he's so pally with Gordon Ramsay.You know, he's gifting him stuff.He's talking about him on stage.
And it's like, he also mentions there, it's like, oh, is it, you know, he sort of makes a joke.He's like, oh, that would look racist.It's like, well, We know, we were in the stand-up scene with Nigel, the comedian who plays Uncle Roger.
Uncle Roger, by the way, is not a real person, he's a character.You might not be able to tell because the acting is so good.
The only thing I'll say, Nigel doesn't speak like that.
No, Nigel speaks basically like a normal, like an American.
Well, yeah, I think he spent a lot of time in Chicago and Germany as well.So, Nigel's from Malaysia and he's doing an impression of a Chinese uncle.Yes. Yeah, I don't know if it's alright.
What is quite funny as well, I won't name it, but there was like... I didn't realise this when Uncle Roger first started blowing up, but those kind of content creators, those massive millions of followers,
I mean, Uncle Roger's like unbelievably huge.He sells out massive venues.He's the biggest, so at the last Netflix festival in LA, he was the biggest selling British comedian.
He sells more than Russell Howard, he sells more than any other British comedian.Incredible.But he has like a team of writers.Does he still do stand-up as himself now?Well no, he can't, because his audience hates it.
So that's, I mean we're watching... Just like mine, to be fair. We're watching Uncle Roger do stand-up there.Basically, Nigel, who plays Uncle Roger, was a stand-up for years.
He was really good at stand-up.
He's a fucking brilliant stand-up.And then he started doing this Uncle Roger character.And it went so successful, he was like, oh my god, I can sell loads of tickets now.So initially, he was selling loads of tickets.
And what he would do, he'd open for himself as Uncle Roger, so he'd get a bit of Uncle Roger.Then he'd do an hour as himself.The problem is, they hated the bit of him. So then he was like, oh fine, I'll flip it on his head.
So he'd open as himself, do 20 minutes as Nigel, then do an hour as Uncle Roger.Still hated him?They hated him so much that the rest of the show was ruined.
So now he has to just book support acts for him to then just do, so they do that and then he does an hour of Uncle Roger.But he has a team of writers who help him write Uncle Roger.Right.And a mate of mine does it, who's Welsh.
And my mate who's Welsh was like, it does feel weird after a while when you're like, right, I'm just a Welsh guy sat here trying to write Chinese stereotypes.Silly old Chinese uncles, what would they say?
How would they do the accent?But that's also emblematic of where social media has ended up and where Gordon has ended up because of social media.That is the world, that pinnacle of entertainment.
Writers, like you're so busy, your time is so valuable, you maybe don't do much writing and you're just going around gigging, doing whatever you're doing.And that's what Gordon is, that's the world that he's interacting with.
And like you say, as a peer, not as like someone's coming in and out.What's mad, I bet Ramsay has writers. Yeah, definitely, yeah.That would be my ideal gig actually.
I was just thinking that's the dream job.
If we could get, we've been quite nice to him, we might still get booked for it.What, Ramsay?Yeah, if we could get booked as Ramsay writers.That'd be fucking lovely.
If we stop the podcast at any time, it's because we've been asked to write Gordon Ramsay's TikToks.Or murdered by Tuk Tuk.
That'll do us for this week, everyone.Ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much for listening.I hope you've enjoyed yourselves.
Please, if you haven't already, sign up on Apple or Spotify if you've got a bit of spare money and you want a free hat and some extra episodes, sign up on Patreon.We'll see you next week.Cheers, Rotters!
Because I'm telling you, honey.
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