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Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast for all that crap we love to discuss.
Today I was on Yule Bros.Hello, I'm Ronnie.That's Ben.Hello, Ben.Hi, Ronnie.How are you?I'm good.I had a super classy morning this morning with my friend Ben over at the Sirius XM radio Andy station with Jeff Lewis and friends, Shane, etc.
Jameson talking about our buttholes and poop literally for an hour.So that was good.I showed up feeling super classy.
How are you?I'm thrilled because I know how much you hate discussing all that and I enjoy talking about, it's not that I enjoy poop, it's just that I enjoy the discussion of things like colonoscopies and toilets.
You sure do.Actually what I enjoy more is- You had a chance to roam free.You were like a free-range Benjamin at that moment.You were a free-range Benoon and I was happy for you.
Well, you really took the lead with the toilet discussion.And then the thing is that Jeff is getting a colonoscopy.
So as soon as I mentioned that I had one... I didn't mean to open this up for another hour of poop discussion.Okay, the poop discussion is over.
I'm just saying.I'm just saying.
We can go back there.Here we are. So no, today we're talking about Orange County because it is the season finale where everything happens.Really, not much does, but still is fun.And it's sad to see it end because God, I just love it.
And after this, we are going to be recording Southern Charm.Well, actually, we already recorded it, but we're releasing it probably tomorrow, which is the Southern Charm trailer trash.That is where we pick apart trailers and make fun of them.
I think that was a good hour based on two minutes. And that's over on our Patreon, as well as our videos like this one.Today, we're on video on Patreon.So if you'd rather watch, go over there.It's much simpler now.It's been simplified.
It's easy-squeezy, lemon-peasy.Get your teezy over to Patreon.Do you like that?I'm a poet.Okay, Ben, what did you think of Real Housewives of the Orange County?
Well, it was a delight.What a fun way to cap off the season.We had some nice dust-ups.We had Shannon having an irrational meltdown.We had a scandal.I would have liked them to have given the scandal a little bit more room to breathe.
I felt like that was a very rushed thing they tacked on at the end.They didn't even really sit down and explain the scandal.They just showed a whole bunch of headlines, and then they just were talking about it, and then it just was over.
They could have let that breathe a little bit more.But overall, I was very delighted.What about you?
The scandal is suffocating!Let her breathe! I mean, I liked it.It was good.It's hard to follow up last week because last week was just mayhem, you know.
So this one was Tamra, it's the thing where Tamra finally realized that what she's doing isn't really working.So she's like, what do you mean I'm a villain?
I'm not a villain.I'm just here to say sorry to everybody and hug.Why are they being mean to me?Why?
Where Tamra makes herself the ultimate villain.I mean, the ultimate villain.The ultimate victim. after a season of her nonstop villainy.And it's pretty good how she does it.She's pretty dependable that way.You've got to hand it to her.
Yeah, she really is.So we open up and the women are, uh, they're back from London and, uh, some of them are at a place called whoop at who backs throwing, get it.It's a pun.
I'm only saying she's going to pick some hacky thing that has been done 9 million times on the show.So it's typical Emily and Gina scene.Let's get wacky with access.People love it, baby.That's a little off trend.Okay.
What do we, I think we're throwing babies now. Okay, let's move it along, guys.
Yeah, so Gina's there, and Emily's like, are you ready to throw some axes?She's like, couldn't we just go to the mall?It's like, no, Heather won't let people into her house today.Okay.So Emily is there.
It would be nice if we didn't have axes thrown at us.You know, I've been having axes thrown at me for months with that crazy axe.I've been having axes thrown at me.She's like, no, we're gonna do axes.
So then Shannon is going to come and they're talking about how they feel bad that Shannon left on an early flight, which of course Shannon left on a flight that was like 30 minutes before everyone else's just to make a point.
And you know, she ended up in some coach seat with, you know, chickens being stored overhead, like on romancing the stone or some shit.
And she's like, well, it is worth it to show them how much I don't need that.
some 60th birthday I had.And we see flashbacks to them at Heathrow.And Heather's like, did you all know that Shannon left?And they're like, yeah, we heard her leave.
Because of course, Shannon probably left the hotel like, well, I'm just going to go on my own.
I'm just going to leave on my own because I'm so mad.I'm mad.I'm leaving on my own.If anyone wants to come out of the door and say, Shannon, don't go.You should stay with us.It's a group trip.We want you to be here.No, you can't.
I don't want to make a big deal out of it.I'm just going to pack my leaving on a jet plane.I might crash.They did crash that one.Oh, God.I'm sorry.Hold on.I left something back in the room.Hold on.Boop, how?Boop, there.Boop, you.How dare you?
I'm back.That was my code.That was my self-set code.
So, they're just talking about how it was so much with Shannon and Tamara going at each other.And then we have flashbacks to all this messiness.And Gina's like, you know what, Tamara and Shannon are both at fault.
And the thing is, Shannon's actually working on herself.And then we go back a day prior to this Axe thing, where Shannon and Gina are at a park with Archie.And Shannon's like, you know what, Gina, I feel horrible.
Had I remembered that all that I had transpired before, I absolutely would have come clean to you, but it didn't make any sense for me to do that, so I didn't.So I just feel terrible for that genus.
And I like that Gina is kind of reasonable here.She's like, you know what, thank you, because you had this fake news information and you didn't bring it up.And that's important.So that was kind of my point.
Like, how are you going to hold it against her?She never brought it up.I mean, it's not a crime being nosy, you know.Curiosity didn't kill the cat.Gossiping about the shit you found out killed that cat.That's when you should kill the cat, okay?
Well, I mean, to play devil's advocate, literally, Tamara would say, well, she didn't bring it up only because she reached out to someone and they couldn't find enough evidence for it.
But if she had been able to find the evidence, she would have brought it up.But because Shannon didn't have enough of a case, she didn't.And now Gina's like, you know what?
You could have brought a half-baked case against me on TV, but thank you for not bringing it up because you didn't have enough evidence.
But also, we saw from the text, the actual text, that those searches for evidence were not against Gina at all.They were against someone that Leslie Bedore was involved with.
Her ex.No, no.This, I think, was about Gina pushing someone down the staircase, pushing what's-his-name Travis down the staircase, because Leslie Bedore thing was... That was a different background check.
That was a different one.
I think that in this case, though, I'm still going to defend her because people bring up half-baked cases all the time, and that was in the blogs.So that was fair to bring up.
She could have said, I've read in the blogs that you are abusive towards your husband, you know?And people have done that with her, you know, the other way around.They brought abuse onto Shannon's storyline.
So I think that, you know, that might have, I don't know, she could have, and she didn't.So I like that she's like, you know, yes, Gina's like, thank you for not bringing it onto the show, you know?
Right.And Gina's like, I don't know if I could say the same thing to Tamra.So Emily's like, oh, by the way, did you hear about Jen?She's like, no, what happened?She's like, oh, I'm gonna let her tell you.
So Jen saunters in all proudly, her knuckles dragging on the floor because there is a literal like Epcot Center sized diamond on it now.
Always legit.Always legit.The guys that give you those, totally legit.And they're like, oh my God, you got engaged?And she's like, yes, in the fucking Bahamas.Can you believe it?Thank you.Thank you so much, you guys.
That is amazing.That's huge.
And I like this point that she made.She's like, you know, it's a nice ring and everything, but couldn't you just pay the rent?Which is a good point.
I will not pay your rent so that you are forced to move into me and my life of luxury, but I will buy you a giant ring to show off.
Yeah, we see some footage of him popping the question in the Bahamas, and Jen throws her phone down into the beach because she can sense the engagement's about to happen.
And it's like, girl, keep your phone in your hand because you don't want to have to pay for a new one.That's almost as expensive as one of these rings.
Husbands come and go, but your cell phone's going to date you forever.You know what I mean?Also, we know that ring is fake, right?That ring has to be fake.
It's gotta be, it's gotta be.
It's Ryan.Or do you think he's just that loaded?That's like one of his ways of like laundering some money, get a big expensive diamond.I mean, I don't know, but I don't know.It was actually too big.
It was too big.It was, it was like unpleasantly big. Yeah, it was pretty big.
So then we cut back to the Bahama footage and she's like, we're engaged.Oh my God, we are so engaged.So then Shannon comes and she's like, well, well, is anybody ready to woo some acts?
That is funny.I'm so happy.Happy Shannon.
Shannon says it as if that was not the intention of naming the place Whoop Axe.She's like, oh, I don't know if they realize it.But actually, if you say the name of the business very quickly, it sounds like whooping ass.
I don't think they realize that.That was very funny.
Very funny.Yeah.So they're like, do you feel better?And she's like, oh my god.She's like, I was just done.I was done in London.
I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've,
I'm back.Oh God, does anybody have a taco in their purse?Oh, I do.I knew it.I was just trying to make myself feel better.You absolute heathen of a woman.
All right, what are we talking about?
And then Jen puts her hand out.Are you freaking serious?
Did John Janssen give this to you?
I swear to God, if he's moved on to another woman in this group, I will not be able to take it.She's like, no, no, this is from Ryan.And it is serious.Wow.You know what?Everyone was talking down to you saying it's not going to work.
And you proved everybody wrong with this extremely ostentatious display of wealth and love that does not indicate whether or not it's going to last, but at least is large.
So your man, who is about to be indicted, has asked you to marry him so you can't testify with a giant ring that's probably fake.Seems totally legit.Congratulations!
Well, I just hope you don't find him walking on the beach with some slut in about two years.But anyway, good luck to you.
Oh, actually, that was me.
What? I, I, you know what?I'm going to go.I'm leaving.I'm leaving.I'm leaving.I'm back.I'm back.
It's my taxes rate.I always come back.Oh, so then, uh, Tina's like, I'm so happy for her, but Jen, and I hope it genuinely works out, but instead of a ring, he should have paid a rent.So then Corey, the owner of Wabax is like, Hey ladies, I'm Corey.
And I own a place called Wabax.What do you think of that?
Anyone want to ring share?That'd be great. Yeah, so listen, you just hold it like this.And then you just like let it tangle and just like throw it.Oh, sure.Yes.Yes.Okay.Can I try one?Okay, ladies, I am going to throw an axe.
And Shannon throws her axe and it just bounces off the target and lands on the ground, which just feels very, very Shannon.
Yeah, and to make her angry, they're putting up a flashback of Tamara screaming in her face, you're a tireless truck, bitch!And so she throws it, thinking of angry Tamara.And she doesn't make it, but those axes are still good wax.
I mean, I think someone would still be very hurt, because she got it in the middle.
Yeah. Yeah, it just bounced off of it.Yeah, but it was it would have it would have been it would have been hurtful.So then everyone's doing the axes and everything.And Emily gets a bullseye.And it's all fun and everything.
And Jen's like, so everyone guys, now that we've thrown some axes, in honor of this axe, we're going to have a party that will feature lots of that body spray, I'm sure from the people are going to go to it.So we're gonna do a party.
Because you know, I went to dinner with the girls the other night. So now we have more unseen footage, and this time it's Jen and Katie and Alexis, and they're talking about planning her a party for her engagement.
Yeah, Alexis is like, we have to plan your party.That's fun, Alexis.What should we do?So they decide they're going to do a bridesmaids party with ugly bridesmaids dresses and stuff.So, you know, she's like, Oh, but I have a question.
Guys, I'm supposed to meet with Tamra tomorrow.Can you believe it?With Tamra tomorrow.And you know, she wants to show me some evidence.And she says she's got proof that's going to finally turn me against you, Shannon.So you know what?
I'm just going to tell her I'm so sorry.But as someone who's almost married again, I just don't have time.It's very difficult.I was going to come, but my arms are very sore from lifting up this ring.But thank you so much for the invite, Tamra.
Yeah, but then do you feel like if you don't talk to her before your party, she might corner you at your party and end up having a conversation there?And Shanna goes, no, she won't do that.She absolutely won't do that.
Am I lying to you in hopes that Tamara will do that?And this will therefore make her seem like an even worse friend?Perhaps.So either way though, no, Tamara absolutely will never come.
You know, Tamara is known for absolutely never confronting people, never cornering them, especially at season finales.
Surely Tamra is not as morally bankrupt as Jen is physically bankrupt.And she would never do that.I would hope not.I would hope.
So then Tamara's at home and the doorbell rings and it's fun time Lexi and she's, and Alexis has like some Clorox wipes with like a bow on it.And she's like, so I brought you this so we could clean up the shit that we're about to have to talk about.
And so Tamara's like, oh my God, I've missed you so much, bitch.So they hug and Alexis comes in.
They start to sit and talk and gossip. This is a flashback, sorry.
I was like, Heather's coming.I was like, okay.
I'm like, Q Ronnie, Q Ronnie.
You're like, I was just off stage.You just hear me running back from a smoke break.There's no business like show business.
Oh, so they start making, you know, she's talking about how amazing it is with Johnny J. And she's, you know, she's sure that her engagement is coming up very soon, guys.And, you know, that's just something I have with this man.
It's just unbelievable, undeniable.
It is amazing and fun, Lexi and Johnny J. And Tamra's like, Oh, yeah, I can't wait to attack you next year.
I'll be the stupid slut because you haven't tasted.
And then they start talking about Jen's engagement.
Yeah.But by the way, they do have a John Janssen confessional where he's like, I have never been more confident in anything in my life.We will be together for the rest of our lives.And then they show a flashback, 2023.
He's like, I have never been more confident in anything in my life.
I will be with Shannon for the rest of my life.
And Shannon's like, yeah, you know, the second week he looked at me and he said, you're my future.And then I said, oh yeah, I know.Flashback.Little did I know he meant lawsuit, but.
See, what's wrong?I guess I should have let him finish the sentence, but I got excited.You know, I saw his son on a little boat nearby and I was like, is that John Jensen's son?Hi.Nope.You know what?Guess what?It's a plastic bag.Nevermind.
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So they're talking about Jen's engagement, and Tamara's like, oh yeah, I texted that, because that's how they're being.
I said, congratulations, congratulations, champagne bottle emoji.I truly am happy for you.Pass them on top of a dumpster emoji.You deserve all the happiness in the world.Heart emoji.I'm looking forward to talking with you about the text.
And pineapple emoji.I think you'll think things differently. eagle emoji, American flag emoji, emoji emoji, Donald Trump emoji, orange emoji, lady going like this emoji, Polish flag emoji.XOXO.
And Alexis like, that ring is freaking gorgeous.And Tim's like, is it?Yeah, it's gorge.Like, she's so happy.And like, so I'm gonna like throw her a party.And Tim's like, yeah, what's the theme?Horrible bridesmaids dresses.
Oh, yeah.So like Orange County fashion?Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.The theme is tacky bridesmaids' dresses.
So, like a night at the country club.
Yes, pretty much.So, like the Alexis Gutura fashion show?Yeah, pretty much.Yeah.
And it's like, well, thanks to Shannon, now I'm not in a great place with gents getting engaged, and what she did was bullshit.Thanks to her.
Oh, hurts, doesn't it?You don't like that whole shit-stirring when it comes back to you.Ha ha.Use their own weapons against them, my son.
Yeah.So now we see a flashback of Katie and Alexis doing a walkthrough at this venue.The venue's called like, I don't think it's pronounced this way, but it is definitely spelled Agape, A-G-A-P-E.I think it's probably pronounced like Agape.
It's Agape.Yeah, it's Agape.
It's a Christian thing, I believe.
Is it?I'm like, of course, like they would have a party at a place called Agape.Because that's just sort of like the vibe of the show.
Yeah, when I was growing up, there were so many things called agape.So I'm trying to see.Yeah.Agape is the highest form of love and charity and the love of God for human beings and of human beings for God.Guys, it's mutual love with God.Agape.
Can't wait till this ugly bridesmaid's party. Oh my god, that pink frill is lovely.And you know who else loves it?God.Thank you so much, God.
Thank you so much.Hey God, we love you so much.We wanted to honor you with some tacky bridesmaids dresses from the 80s.Lots of ruffles for God.
It would be funny if it was just called a gape, though.
So we're going to a place called a gape, and I think it's going to be a great parody.It's basically my nickname in high school, so that should be fun. So, yes, sorry.
So Tamara's like, well, I went back into my text, and I had a text, and it was about this long.
And so she shows us the text thing between her and Shannon.Yeah, between her and Shannon.
And Eddie said to send the info right into production so you have a paper trail.And Shannon's like, well, apparently Blank is doing Blank for back child support.Can your friend look up the case?
They're just showing it again that Tamara's blowing pure smoke here.
I like that Shannon writes texts like she is in a video game giving you her assignment for the level.It's like, hello there, apparently blank is soon blank for the back child support.Can your friend look up the case?
And you're like, you have 15 minutes.
Avoid being seen or you'll be out.
It's like, this is the way you start a level on GoldenEye.Yeah.
Your assignment is as follows.This message will self-destruct like my marriage.
So she's like, and Shannon asked me, can you get your friend to look into this?She took a screenshot about this much from what I was hearing, that little liar.
And then we see another screenshot.
And it says, I'm asking my friend's husband to do a background check.So she basically tried to destroy my friendship with Jen.
I was like, yeah, you're both kind of at fault.You've been coming for Jen for two seasons now.I don't know why you're going to try this whole episode.
Yeah, I'm like, you know who else destroyed your friendship with Jen?You.Do you not remember going to Katie's party and like, going hard in the paint for Ryan?Please.
So, you call it, I mean, we literally see a montage later in the episode of you going, little bitch, little bitch, little bitch.
So Alexis is like, what Shannon is doing to Tamara and Jen is the same thing she does with Johnny, which is she writes her own narrative.That's not the truth.And then Jim was like, I don't even want to go backwards.
I don't want to talk about Ryan.I want to support her.And that's it, bitch.
And she's like, well, all you need to do is bring the proof.Cause Shannon is a liar face.I'll tell you that much.Bring the pudding, babe.
Bring the pudding.Cause proof is in pudding.Bring pudding.
So then we should have brought some pudding instead of this Clorox prop.Pudding would have been a better prop.
God, Lexi, you could do better. So we go to Katie's house, Tamara's house, Nikki's house, and Ryan's house.Nikki's house at Loyola Marymount, I guess, this summer.So we're seeing what everybody's doing that day.
I just want to point out, Nikki's house has already surpassed Gina's house.And he's like 17.
So we see Ryan first, and they're sitting with Dawson, and she's like, straight talk between me and you, right, Dawson? Stomped out of bed and doubled to the kitchen.Mom, that's not straight talk.That's nine to five.Still, though, God, I love her.
Thank you for knowing her, IMDB.I love Dolly.So anyway, what we were talking about, how I don't want to live with you anymore.Right, right.But I keep reading GED.You're not going to get a GED, do you?That's one letter away from God.
That's not very copy of you.
Is this, is this a male lover that you have named Jed?You know, I'm very open.You can tell me these things.He's like, mom, I want to join the Marines.Really?Yes.I dislike living here so much.
I would rather risk my life than be under this roof anymore.Goodbye.Yeah.
I'm wondering how it's working out.The dad's one bedroom apartment or whatever the hell he's moved to, you know, it's like, okay, you know what?Sign me up.I'm going to go find some more Marines.
Yeah, I mean, the global situation is pretty chill right now, so, you know, we'll figure it out.
Yeah, super chill time to join, you know, especially just because you can't think of anything to do and you don't want to go to school.That's always the best reason to join the military.
Not because you really care about saving the country or, like, helping or, you know, protecting whatever.You're just like, you know what?My dad's studio smells like balls and I'm too proud to go back to my mom's lover's studio.
So, guess it's the army.Guess it's the, you have no bowling alleys to work at.I mean, we need a safer place for children to escape.
Well, it's either the Army or trying to make it in Hollywood.So, you know, hey, he's doing something I wouldn't do.Yeah, exactly.
You're buying a little producer in one place than the other, though.Well, I mean, I don't know.I'm just scared.I guess it depends on what kind of porn you watch.All right, no one needs to hear that.
So let's go on to Dawson being like, yeah, I'm totally into the Marami.Check it, submarines, honey.Right.Super excited.They're the ones that fly.No, honey, they're the sea ones.Right.Totally into it.Can't wait.Top gun.They fly too, actually.
I'm just so excited you decided to go into baseball.That's the Mariners mom.Oh
So anyway, well, good for him.Good for him.So Nikki, we now go to Nikki's house and Heather's like, I really love the path you're on now, especially because this path has been laid with beautiful bricks and has lovely lights on the side.
And there's only available for Bentley's to go down.I just, you know, I know you really didn't want to go to college and you want to stay home and look out the window at our neighbor, Drake, but this is good that you did this.
You know, He's like, well, why would I want to go to college?You guys basically walked so I could run away from any kind of education the rest of my life.You're rich as fuck.Why would I need to go to college?
And she's like, well, listen, of course, I want you to learn things.But look, you've got your real estate license, you sold your first home, you're going abroad.And whether you realize it or not, you're getting life skills.
You know, most people take a lot of practice having money put into their account and having clients handed to them to sell their first piece of real estate.It's a lot to juggle.It's a lot to juggle.
See, it's great because now you can learn how to say, move this pillow for me, Alfredo, in different languages.
Going abroad, you're learning so many wonderful life skills.He's like, yay, as dad would say.
Heather's like, this is what you raise your kids to do, to be healthy, independent, functioning humans who happen to be actually rather dependent and maybe not so functional humans on your wealth.
Yeah, she says later in the episode something about him being the number he sold the biggest piece of real estate or something of all of Orange County.
I'm like, yeah, because Josh Altman is just handing you the shit because you give Josh your listing.So he's just handing this kid stuff for doing nothing.I mean, come on.She's like, he's totally making it on his own.
He's not, but I mean, it's still good for him.
Yeah, good for him.I mean, listen, I'm not going to begrudge people their success, but I just think it's very funny.I just think it's funny how they're talking about life skills.
It's just like, now you know that there are other NoBus you can go to and put your flatware in there.
For example, I learned when things were really rough for me how to tell Reba McIntyre no when she kept handing you a cloth to wash her car.Very important, very important.I can't swish, I can't swish.
She had me with the car saying, just wave your arms, I'll drive past you and you can just swish.Madeleine, I'm not Madeleine, stop calling me Madeleine.
You'll really find that your world opens up when you realize that they have no idea who Wendy Malick is in France.
So good for him.He's like, thanks for giving me such an amazing life, but that's so cute.You know, at least he's grateful.
Yeah.Good for both.Honestly, good for both kids.They both, you know, there's, there's, they're doing, they're doing things with their life and you know, we've seen it go the other way on this show.So, you know what?Godspeed.
And we're currently seeing you go the other way on this show with, with Dawson, their first example.They're like, here's Sad Jen.Wow.Look, here's amazing Nikki.
I was thinking more like Lynn Curtin, the OC Angels.I feel like Dawson is like Bill Gates right now compared to what's happened over there.That's true, yeah.
Tamara is in the room with Sophia, Sophia's room, and Sophia's like, listen to my music.This is the best part.And it's really nice, alternative chick music.It's like, yeah.
Your mom may be a bitch, but you don't have to be.You don't have to be your mom.Oh!It's my mom.Oh!It's my mom.Oh!I'm so scared.Oh!
It ended like that because the main character gets murdered at the end.
The song's called Did You Go to Bass Lake?
And so Tamara's like, well, you didn't get your music ability from me, bitch.
And I literally got no ability from you.Were there any that you were planning to pass on?No, I only got your love of calculus, mother.
So she's like, wow, you wrote it, you sang it, you did, what's it called, the beats?She's like, I produced it, mom.She's like, I'm so proud of you.I think you should take some music classes.
Who wants to hear that after they just played a song they produced?I know.That was also like, that was not what I was expecting her to say next.
Yeah, yeah, that sounds really good.For someone who has no idea what a musical note is, so go ahead.
So she's like, yeah, I know it's my passion, but music industry is tough, which is very much what I'd expect from someone from Gen Z to say.It's like, yeah, it's tough.Guess what?All the industries are tough.There's no industry that's not tough.
That is the little secret.When people say, oh, yeah, I mean, the music industry sucks, and it's shady as fuck.But you know what?You've got to start somewhere. Get to it, Sophia.
Yeah, get with it, Sophia.You can do it.She actually sounds really talented.Yeah, it was good.
When I was in high school, I wanted to go to the fashion institute, but then I had a newborn baby to ruin my goddamn life.
We see a little picture of baby Ryan.He's got a red cap on.Tell me he didn't do it.
Tell me you didn't go to a fashion zoo without telling me.Got to Tamra wearing that giant ruffle flower on her chest.It's like, really, you'd never made it to the fashion zoo.I never would have dreamed.
After 18 years of this show, I never would have guessed that you were educated.So then, um, that, you know, this is just like, and everybody's kids are doing great.So now we go to Katie's house. And she's with the kids, with Matt.
And they're talking about how the name change receipt came in the mail.So Kaylee is now Kaylee Janela.
Yeah, because she's disassociating with her biological father.And she says she'd rather change her name to a family that loves and appreciates her instead.
And so Katie's talking about how sometimes you are blessed with a family, and sometimes you get to pick your family, and also Heather's mean.And so then Katie's, she's like, could I just say that in front of my children again?
So yeah, so that's a nice moment.And then we go over to Gina's house, where Clover and Meatball, the dogs, go into like a crate kind of thing, which is what they call it, they call it dog Gina house.
And so Gina's like, she's like, oh my God, Meatball, do you want to go to puppy jail too?Should we check on daddy?Hey, Meatball? Just so you know, I feel bad about this, but I put up a divider in the middle of your puppy house.Sorry.
And he's putting together Ikea furniture or something.He's like, I've gotten four screws in.
She's like, God, I love him.He's just so charismatic.It's amazing.I just can't imagine living without Travis.I wish he was here right now.
Doing great, honey.You're doing great. Honey i'm like so proud of you that you got four screws into that plank over the past six hours you're doing great i'm so glad that you're back here now.
So he took care of the kids while she was in london and he's like here it's me holding down the fort for you as usual she's like yeah you know it's really nice that we got you to rely on okay. Then he starts getting really mopey and crying.
He's like, I really don't like the decision that you made to remove yourself from my toxic ex who I refused to divorce for whatever reason, for some unexplained reason.How selfish.
I was like, oh my God, maybe it is.
He goes, when things get tough, That's when you run?Yes!It's not her job to fucking go through hell because you have a crazy ex that you can't stop fighting with.That's not her job.Things are getting tough because you guys made it tough.
You go figure that shit out.Things are getting tough and you stick with it, or like one of you gets sick, the other one's supposed to stay with you, or, you know, one of you loses their job, the other one helps support you through it.
It's not like, deal with my crazy ass ex forever, you know? in that toxic relationship.No, sir, you fucking mopey ass.And be better at putting IKEA furniture together, too.I'm not always Gina's biggest fan, but I definitely want better for Gina.
This guy is such a mopey fuck, and he just wants housing at this point.No.Go.Shoot.
You know, a wise man once said, when the going gets tough, the tough gets going.That was Billy Ocean.So anyway, I think that Gina does have a, yeah, it was a sad, sad, sad fact.Great song.Great song.When the going gets tough.
Was that from the Jewel of the Nile song?
When the going gets rough.Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The original draft was, when the going gets tough, Gina runs away.It just didn't really have... But you know what, though?The music industry is hard, and they made him change the lyrics.So I understand why Sophia is reticent to dive in.
My experts will break through your windchill.
I ain't getting going.God, how could you do that?
And in fact, Caribbean Queen was originally called Orange County Queen.
Orange County Queen!Now we're leaving in a very small house!
It was about Gina also.Billy Ocean really was singing about Gina way before Gina was even alive.
So they're both crying because it's like so much toxicity with the past.And he's like, I don't think it was the right decision.I still don't.And, you know, I just want you to get to the whole point, though, where there's adversity.
Instead of pulling away, you're pulling in.Fuck off.Go fix your life, you fucking codependent weirdo.This is bad sign for the future.When your partner wants what's best for him over what's best for you, that's a very bad sign about your future.
I don't care if she says he's nice.I don't buy it.
Yeah, but it could also go the other way because Gina also, like what's best for Travis is that he wants Gina, he wants to be with Gina and she's like, bye, this is what's best for me.So theoretically you could say it goes the other way.
The thing is with Gina is it is a toxic situation.
So like whether or not she's made the right choice, it's still kind of murky to say, like if she feels it's the right choice and she's got kids involved and this is a crazy, crazy ex, so it probably is the right choice, but she does kind of have a pattern of cutting and running.
when she's uncomfortable with a situation that's why she ditches a friend at the start of every single season and she's even like she's just anything anything she's like i would get out of the i'm like oh i'm sorry i'm out of the like that is kind of her issue that she does deal with a lot so it's not totally off base that she needs to stop
Well, I think you don't have to commit to bad situations just to be seen as more reliable or whatever or more steadfast.I think if a relationship's bad or there's some bullshit and it's hurting your kids, then you're allowed to just say, I cut this.
And let's face it, you know, the other stuff, and I know this is so weird hearing me turn pro-Gina all of a sudden, but, you know, even thinking back on it, like the Shannon stuff always really bugged me because I thought Shannon really wanted them to be friends and she just went and betrayed Shannon for like some airtime.
You know, there's been a lot of shit that Gina's done on the show that's really uncool.But the Heather Dubrow thing, I kind of got, where Heather Dubrow just spent that whole season like, oh, hello, poor person.Would you like some free clothes?
Would you?Should I crawl into your little, you know, crawl space to help you get rid of that hideous wedding dress?You know, just so condescending.And then she was like, I don't want to hang out with that girl anymore.
And then it was this huge, how could you treat me like that?Because you're horrible to be around. You know, so I'm kind of starting to see her point in a way and just being like, yeah, if you don't like the situation, jet, you know, life is short.
Yeah, but she did it to Emily also.And she also didn't, she never said to Heather, you know, I just don't like you.I realized I don't like you.She just was like, Oh, no, I've been there.You're giving me advice.
You just say if I don't like you, who does that?
That's fair.I literally was confronted by someone over the weekend being like, was there something I've done, Ben?Why don't you invite me over?And I was like, no, no, just your hideous personality.Yeah, no, no, you haven't done anything wrong.
Okay, so then we go to Shannon's house and Shannon's getting her hair did and she's, you know, by the way, I just, I just want to say,
the person who cuts and runs the most is me, everyone.I just want to put that out there.I am the master cutter and runner.Oh, yeah.Oh, yeah.Like if someone annoys me, I'm like, bye.
Yeah, I mean, time is precious.You know, like every day as I see my waddle droop a little bit more, I'm like, there's so much I could be doing right now, you know, before I'm tripping over this thing.I just don't have time for nonsense.
That's exactly what I was going to say.
So anyway, Jeff mentioned that breast milk gets rid of your waddle.So if anybody wants to ship me some breast milk, I'm here.
You don't have a waddle.I'm sorry.You don't have one.
I was just looking for a second.I'm not being insecure.It's right here.It's like literally there.You can't say it's not there.It's like telling a rooster he doesn't have a waddle.Of course he has a waddle, you know? It's okay.
It's not something I hate myself for.It's just, you know, the next thing I want to get taken care of because I'm going to take care of business. That's the thing you want to cut and run.Listen, I'm known for my neck.So I can't just be, just kidding.
I've never been known for these gins, but.His neck is the most iconic element of this podcast.What a graceful swan neck.Your neck is mother.Your neck is mother.My neck is icon.
You know what?There's a reason that Patreon pays their bills.Because my neck.People can come to see my neck on Patreon.It's like OnlyFans for waddles.It's your neck.It's your back.
It's your pussy and your crack.
Well, they're all kind of becoming the same thing at this point, which is my point.
Everything just becomes a crevasse.
Yeah, just one big stupid bag draped over a chair.
The point is this, I come down hard on Gina because we come down hard on the people that we see ourselves in.And unfortunately, I see way too much of myself in Gina.So Gina, that's your lot in life.
Well, but to be fair, Gina also sucks most of the time. She's just having a really good last half of the season, and I'm very easily manipulated, you know?I mean, I can be like that with anybody that makes me crazy.
If they're just good for a few episodes, I'm like, oh my God, I love them now.Everything they've ever done is right.Let's justify every single thing that they've ever done, you know?I'll start seeing it from a different perspective.
Yeah, Gina's had both a terrible season and a very good season.Somehow, like, side by side.I don't know how she's done it.Like, she started off the season horrifically, and then she was like, alright.
And then she still had some moments where I was like, ugh, fuck you, Gina.But I think overall, she's like, she's done a pretty good job this season.I don't know.Or maybe I just feel bad.I'm not sure.
Yeah, she definitely shaped it up. Okay, so then Vicky goes over to Shannon's house and they're talking about dresses and stuff like that because they're bridesmaids, tacky bridesmaids' dresses and stuff.
And Vicky's like, you know what, these aren't tacky dresses.And Shannon's like, well, those are the dresses that you just smashed in a bag.She goes, oh my God, I forgot the dresses.Oh, geez.Oh God, I've got to go.I got, they're in the car.
She goes, well, where's your car?At the office.
Oh God, I'm going to have to call Linda.Jesus. left in the family van.And then we go to Ryan's home and Jen's getting her hair done.And her friend is there.I feel so bad for her friend, because some random friend is there.
And you know, it was a situation where Jen was like, Hey, Mary, come on over.Yeah.You want to clam with me before my party?She's like, no, I'm just going to do it at home.I'll just meet you at the party.No, no.Come to my place.
Come to my, it'll be really fun.She's like, no, I just, I don't know if I want to be seen on camera getting glam.Come on, Mary.
So Mary comes over and lo and behold, the scene unfolds where Jen is in glam and then they cut to Mary half and makeup looking wild.And then we never see her again.
to Mary looking like the bottom of a foot.I mean, what did Mary do to deserve this?
Thanks.Thanks a lot, Jen.This is how America sees me, in half glam with only foundation on, my hair going all different directions, and I'm just like the friend, and you'll never see me again looking beautiful.Thanks a lot.
Yeah.She's like, OK, I'll make it better, though.I'm about to make out with the guy who just put a $10 trillion ring on my finger, OK?And they start making it out in front of this poor girl.
And then we go over to Emily and Shane, and Emily's like, should I wear this for a tacky bridesmaid dress?And it's like her OG wedding gown.And Shane's like, is that the dress you wore when we got married?
And she's like, I know, I was 18 years old.
And he's like, I still have your bouquet.It's sort of like our marriage.It's all dry.It's lost its color.And there's no life left in this thing.King of Snarkasm bouquet edition.
It's been a long time, but he's back, the King of Snarkasm.
That's the end of the season.We got to throw one in there. Hey, do you have a bouquet that needs to be roasted?Call Shane Simpson, the King of Snarkasm at 555-1234.
He's really been holding back the past few years because he was so villainized the first year for his King of Snarkasm stuff, but I'm glad to see him giving us the old college try coming back.
He just needed a prop, and in this case, a 15-year-old dried-out bouquet.
Yeah.So then we go to Katie's, and Katie and Mast, no, not their house, but they're the first to arrive at Agape.And so they're walking around talking about how pretty it is.It's like pretty, you know, it's like a wedding or whatever.Yeah.
Yeah, and then, um, Alexa, you know, this is a lot of just people walking in the same time you look tacky and stuff like that.
Yeah, it's and like this is definitely a party that Alexis design because there's like gather font all over the place. everywhere, it might as well just say gather.And so Katie's like, I know, look at this place.Isn't it like absolutely beautiful?
And Katie's like, yes, absolutely.Alexis meets Matt and everything.And they're just laughing about tacky because Alexis is actually dressed sort of modestly and not tacky.Katie has a giant ruffle that's going up and around her head and everything.
And Alexis is just like normal looking.And she's like, no, it's not tacky.It's not tacky.It's crazy.I know.I'm sorry.Yeah.
So then we go for a fun Shannon scene.She's in the SUV with Vicky, and she's like, oh my god, I have to lay down because I don't want wrinkles.
I don't want to move.I'm dead.I'm dead in the car.This is what you do if you want to be hilarious on television.Do not make me sit up to get wrinkles.
And then there's a gay in the back seating goes, oh, it doesn't even matter.It's supposed to be semi-raunchy, the party.I'm like, sir, semi-raunchy and tacky are very different things.
And if it was supposed to be semi-raunchy, how in the world are any of you guys fitting the dress code right now?
It's like, can't wait to go to this cocky ring bridesmaids party.
Wait a minute, you're in a cock ring?
Yeah, I'm going to take off my pants in a minute.We walk in the door.It's a raunchy party.Stop it.
So let me go do it.I dare you.
It's not that kind of party.What kind of gay is this?
So then we go back to Agape and more people are showing up.And then in, by the way, throwback Joe De La Rosa, Joe De La Rosa Gray.She arrives.Throwback to season one, season two.
I don't think she made it to season three, but Joe, the one of the true OGs along with our own Victoria has made her grand return to Orange County.
Yeah, she sure has.And, um, you know, this was coming up all season.They were hinting at this because, well, Joe was, she was on her Instagram.Like, look at me.I'm in orange County now.Everybody wink, wink might be doing something fun soon.
Wink, wink has orange County in the title, literally wink, wink.Oh my God.I'm married now.I'm rich.Everything's wink, winky.And then I guess was this, um, but yeah, so I can orange after this one.
Although I never will forget Jo, because her first episode was like, yeah, I'm with this guy who just wants to take care of me, and it sucks.I mean, I just sit around the house all day.
And then it cuts to Jo just opening a cabinet and closing a cabinet and opening a cabinet.I was like, the improv is top notch on this show back in the day.
It's so wild to think, this show's been around for so long.They showed footage from 2006, which is when the show aired, but really it was shot in 2005.I mean, it's been like 19 years since this show has been happening.That's wild.
Yeah, because I've been in LA for a year, I think, when this came out.Isn't that crazy?
Yeah.Young buck.This show has graduated high school.This show is a freshman.
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