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Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What Crappens, the podcast for all that crap we love to talk about on your blobs.I'm Ronnie.That's Ben.Hello, Ben.
Hi, Ronnie.How are you?Happy Halloween.
Well, happy hallow, babes.Happy birthday. Everybody, I don't know why I said, happy birthday.I was going to say you little devil, but you're not a little devil, are you?
Growing up religious instead of having Halloween, we had All Saints Day, and that was more religious.You went and bought for apples and stuff.Then your parents were like, sinners probably put razors in those kids, so be careful.
You can't have me stick my head underwater and bob for an apple and tell me there might be a razor, but be careful.What kind of fucking advice is that?
How about don't take your children to a knife or a blade infested apple drowning ceremony for Christians?Fucking weirdos.
Anyway, happy Halloween.Happy Halloween to everyone.I hope everyone's having a lovely Halloween.My, you know, you did wish me happy birthday.My Halloween costume is me celebrating my birthday.That's what I've decided.That's what I'm dressed as.
My birthday.But it's not my birthday suit.
Well, yeah.Well, thanks for that.That's nice.We're not starting that kind of show yet.I saw my birthday suit yesterday because I have a lot of mirrors in this house now.Well, just in the bathroom and the closet.
And wow, that was quite a – I just stared at it.I was like, wow, so this is what I live in.Interesting. Anyway, everybody, welcome to the show.Today is Real Housewives of New York Day.
So if you're wondering why we're going off tangent and talking about random things, it's because it's Real Housewives of New York Day, and that's how we roll.
We are late with this one, but we had some confusion with a note-taker, a new note-taking guy, and so we didn't have notes. So we did Beverly Hills instead.So that's a Trailer Trash, which would normally be a Patreon.So it's a freebie.
So you guys can see what is on our Patreon.We do Trailer Trashes all the time over there.And later this week, we'll be doing our Southern Charm Trailer Trash over on Patreon.It's also available.
It's a Krappens On Demand, which is a video version of this podcast, which we do every day.So you can watch this instead by being a member at patreon.com slash watch a Krappens.It's new now. It's all monthly.
It's very easy and streamlined now to go over there and sign up.It's not a pain.It's not confusing anymore.We have fixed it with the help of the lovely people at Patreon, and we look forward to seeing you over there.
Also, there's a really fun community chat for live shows if you guys are into making each other laugh as the show airs. A bunch of people go on the Patreon live chats now, and it's pretty funny.It's getting pretty funny.
It's getting downright riotous.So, go check it out.And thank you, everybody, for your support.Okay?Burger King, $17.
So, what's on your mind, Ben? Um, well, you know what, I'll tell you what's on my mind.Roni, what an exciting show.I will say, I, I was like, Oh, yeah, you know, maybe actually want to go back and watch Clueless.I haven't watched Clueless in so long.
So I don't know, I guess that's what's on my mind.What's on your mind?
Nothing, just doing this episode.You know, Halloween, my niece is coming.I'm going to go to Katie Cazorla's little big Halloween party tonight, so that should be fun.And I'm just excited to live my life.
But for now, let's talk about this show, Real Housewives of New York.Now, listen, we're entering the season with a new positive attitude.
We've rebooted our attitudes because at the end of last season, you know, this show got a little rough for us at the end of last season.But we're entering this with a new attitude.
The show needs to follow suit because the show is entering with the same old attitude.Bravo, listen to your fucking audience and take some notes every once in a while.How do you get through that whole season last year and say, you know what?
Let's get more boring people and do even less.Let's have people do even less.Nobody has to show their lives.Nobody has to do anything.
Just have them show, you know, if your cast wants to leave in the middle of a party to get a spray tan instead of sitting there at work, let them do that.Sounds like a great idea, Brent.They're already having a fucking great season.
So why not just drop everything and go get a fucking spray tan during a work event?What the hell is going on over there?Everybody get in this goddamn office.We're having a meeting.Reboot the reboot.That's what I say.
Yeah, I mean, I feel like I've actually had a rebooted attitude.I think I've been actually pretty chill about this new season.And I've been, you know, I've been enjoying it.But like,
Yeah, I think it's just hard when this show airs when we have much more exciting stuff happening on Bravo.
I mean, you look at Potomac, you look at Orange County, you look at Salt Lake City, and these are shows where you have people acting ridiculously.And, you know, some would say the selling point of New York is that they're just like chill ladies.
I get that, but... That's a different network. I'm not going to lie.It's, it's a little rough.It's a little rough.I mean, just, it's a little hard just sitting there watching this fun party that only half the people dress for.
This is like a, this is a cast of alleged fashionistas.Only like half of them know how to dress for clueless.And then you just have Erin honking her way through it.Like, I don't feel well there.I'm like really upset by her.And I'm like, Okay.
Well, this is, this is thrilling TV.Thrilling, thrilling TV.
Not one person cut their hair in solidarity with me being mad at Jenna.I'm so upset about Aaron just deciding she's going to be mad at Jenna literally for no reason.
I mean, listen, you got to give her props for at least trying to start some sort of, you know, storyline here.She's like, well, we're kind of languishing.So let me go after the big dog.So, I'm mad at Jenna.Yeah, it's not.
OK.You have no reason to be.And you're obviously just teaming up with Brynn, who's like not the one to be teaming up with, especially this year.To take down Jenna?Jenna doesn't do anything.You don't have to take Jenna down.Jenna's already down.
What does Jenna do?Jenna's in like an extended nap.Now, Jenna's the best part of this show. for me, she's the funniest part.
And she's probably, even though she's refusing to show her life, like her lover and all that, she's still probably the most I find herself on the show because she is so like, you know, my spirit and my
you know, my R. She really is a flaky, rich New Yorker, you know, trying like the new age bullshit on us.And I like that.I think she's very good.She's very entertaining to watch.
And it's hilarious watching these girls try to bring her down for literally no reason.And she's not going to fall for it because she doesn't care about you.Do you know what I mean, Aaron?
This woman does not care if she hangs out with the CEO of Homegirl. part-time designs in New York City.Are you fucking kidding me?Nobody cares, Aaron, okay?Are you going to withhold your friendship?Please do.It's like Costco saying, you know what?
I'm not going to serve you gelatinous, bubbly chicken today.Is that okay?Yes, it's okay.Keep your gelatinous, floppy chicken.I don't want it.
Yeah, I'm also growing increasingly concerned about the Raquel situation, as in, I don't totally understand why she's a full-fledged real housewife.She's cool.She's a very cool person.
I would love to be friends with her, but I don't understand what value she's really bringing to this cast so far.She told a very lovely story last week. But I'm like, okay, Raquel, if anything, Rebecca Minkoff is the one that cracks me up the most.
And the one time I actually like just laughed out loud this episode was when they did a montage of Rebecca being boring and I was dying.I was like, that's, but that's like my kind of thing.
Like, I'm like, why don't they, like, why is she just not a full fledged housewife?I would love to see her just leading her like her boring and strange Rebecca Minkoff life, you know, you know, doing stupid things like probably
picking up a, she probably, there's probably some child in her life named like Jax or Cruz.And she has to pick them up from some sort of like, you know, kitty yoga.It's like, we're doing Lego yoga with Jax today.So I'm going to pick them up.
Like, I would love to see that.But instead where you've got Raquel, who's just like, yeah, I'm going to get on a motorcycle today.I'm like, I don't know.I don't even know what Raquel did this week.
Rakel's new, so I'm giving her some grades.
And I think also the auditions for this show aren't like, wow, how fabulous and, like, wacky are these – like, how extreme are these personalities, which I don't – and I'm not even – I'm not even going to do the old New York.Who cares?
That's over now.I think it was time for that to end.Personally, I know that we don't necessarily agree, but I think that it was time for that to end.
So I'm all for a reboot in general, but I think that the auditions need to be like how entertaining these people can be.
And I think now it's like, you know, guys, let's do a new modern version of it where we get in touch with like what maybe a modern generation would be in touch with.
Trauma, constant fucking talk about trauma and victimization, literally the whole time.Cy, you're going to bury your mother's ashes on, really?This was last, I'm so sorry.This is so cool.This is cold to say, and I'm sorry.
And I'm not just saying it to be funny. I feel, like, kind of manipulated.Like, that's your mother's death.That's so sad.And that was also your storyline last season.Like, how long are you going to keep bringing it on just for the trauma?
We get to see you pick out lettuce and then bury your mother.Why am I watching you bury your mother?We just talked about this all last season.I can't have every season be about everybody's dead parents.I can't do it.I can't.I can't do it.
It's too much.I watch this for enjoyment.What are you doing to me?Picking lettuce and burying people?
Hot take, I enjoyed the Ashes scene.I know, I know.I thought it was sweet.I think it was just because that little boy cried, and I was like, oh, little boy.It was sad.
It's just like when nothing is going on on the show, and it's all centered on trauma, it's usually a mixture of this is their real pain that they're going through.
But the fact that it's like, this was an all last season thing, we got the feeling of it, and now it's like, we need to shoot, we need to do this on the screen. You know, it's like, why?
It's not like we've never seen anybody spread ashes or do anything like that.I'm not saying that and I'm not trying to pick on her specifically.I'm just saying like, they need something and that's not it.They don't need more trauma and sadness.
They've got enough of that.They need more fun.
They need more.Yeah, they, they, there's just not a lot of personality.
And I think that the way that they approach the show, I think that Bravo has handled this show in a way where they've just sort of taken a tonal exception with Roni, where they want to make it, I think, more aspirational.
Maybe it's sort of like the Beverly Hills School, But Beverly Hills is messy and has like genuine darkness going on.And I think they're trying to make it like, these are the people you want to like be friends with.
These are the people that you would love to see.You see their fabulous lives in New York City.And it's like, no, I think with New York City, we want to go behind, you know, the veil of the super rich, the old money that are acting heinously.
And it doesn't mean like, I'm not gonna keep saying like, oh my God, bring back old Roni.Like it's fine that we've moved on from that. But I think that Bravo has, as we've said many times before, they've abandoned the camp factor with this show.
There's nothing really funny about this show.I think the show thinks it's being very clever and funny.We're having a clueless party.Just look at the clunky way the episode opens up. just aren't able to do it.They try.
Other shows do it, like Potomac and Salt Lake City open up with a silly intro.But this show, it just falls flat in this really strange way.And I just don't think that they know how to handle whatever mandate Bravo has given them.
Yeah.So, you know, we're sticking with it.We're not giving up.And I'm rooting for the new New York.You know, I've always been rooting for it.I liked it most of last season.
It just didn't get me crazy until towards the end when it was the constant Aaron with the hum, hum. And that brought it down, I think.But, you know, I'm rooting for it.I think that there is something that they could do there.
I just don't think they're doing the right thing.And they need to listen to the audience.Please, for Christ's sake, people, listen and look at your ratings because they're tanking.Like, listen, people.Because it's not only about this city to me.
It's about the whole thing.You can't take something that you've built for 20 years and then be like, guess what?We're not fun anymore. No, you can't do that.That's not, you need to be fun.Be fun.
Yeah, I think the saddest state of affairs is the fact that here we are a day later, like we're a day late with our recap, and it was like crickets with our social media.
Like when we put an episode of Below Deck on Patreon for the last season, because we just, we had to, and tweets, messages, DMs.What about, what about, what about that episode?We need to see the episode.
This one, it's like, it's, it was like, it had no impact.Like, oh, there's no recap for Roni today.Okay.Like no one cared.
I'm like, we don't blame you, buddy.
I mean, despite my complaining, I think this season is better than last season.So, but that's because I thought last season was honestly like abysmal, but, um, uh, I was like, man, this is sort of sad, sad state of affairs.
Oh, all right.Well, let's get to it.So, uh, the clueless party.
So we get a wacky clueless inspired montage and, uh, Jussel's doing, um, uh, a voiceover, you know, copying the clueless dialogue of share Alicia Silverstone describing what's happened so far this evening.Okay.
Okay, so you're probably thinking, is this a Lancome commercial or what?But I actually have a way normal life for a New York girl.The only problem is my friend group is a total Monet.From afar, we're fabulous, but up close, it's a total mess.
It's like Pavit's mouth after he's had a fried chicken sandwich out of a dumpster from the Upper West Side. It's worse than the Pismo Beach disaster, which is what I also call poverty.
Then we get a shot of Pavit and Jussel's closet, and it has like a dry cleaning thing that rotates around to show all the different meats that Pavit has been reviewing from the fried chicken store and the hot dog stand.They're super rich.
And then after that fun, we go to Sai and her husband to a nursery because, well, first of all, Sai's like, God, coffee?You know what?
I feel like coffee like sticks to your tongue.
I need gum."And he's like, yeah, after coffee you need gum.I love that we're here for Sy realizing that coffee makes your breath stink, because that's a big moment.
Either that or all this time she thought peanut butter was coffee.
She's like, I don't know why people drink this in the morning.It doesn't wake me up.It just sticks in my mouth.
How does this wake people up?I'm literally exhausted from swallowing all of that.
So she's like, we need lettuce, lots of lettuce.
Oh my God, this is so exciting.Look at all the stuff that we need.So much lettuce.I can't wait to buy lettuce.
That sums up this show.People excited to buy lettuce.Who gets excited to buy lettuce?
Wait, people excited to buy lettuce?I was like, well, now this is what I'm into.It's an accoutrement.
If I go to Whole Foods one more time and spend $400 on three bags of groceries that look nothing like my fridge, I'm gonna go crazy.But for whatever reason, Whole Foods has me in a choke hold.
I'm like, because you live in Brooklyn.So you're like, like the moment you cross over that bridge, you have to swear an oath to only purchase things from a Whole Foods and flea markets.
So not me, I was a I was a C town boy tried and true in Brooklyn.When I lived there, I lived right across from C town.That was my place.I fucking loved it.Yeah, this whole lettuce thing.Also, the whole foods observation is true.
But I feel like in this economy, and honestly, I know that I sound a boomer, like a boomer saying, And I'm not even a boomer.
But I know that I keep saying, like, in this economy, but seriously, Burger King being $17 last week has sent me over the edge, and I'm never going to recover.Like, I can't get over that we live like this now.
And I went to Whole Foods because I was like, well, fuck, if I'm going to pay $17 for a whatever, Burger King, I'm going to go get some Whole Foods.It was cheaper.The salad that I got was cheaper than the Burger King at Whole Foods.
That's how upside down we are right now in the world, people.Okay?Fucked.I don't know if it's for who.
those Amazon subsidiaries?Well, apparently inflation is actually, like, extremely low.But the problem is the prices haven't come down.And it's driving me nuts.Why don't you just drop the prices, but the fucking companies will not drop their prices.
Well, it's already doubled.Nothing in this, nothing in the world ever goes backwards.Nothing's like, Oh, Hey, let's just start charging $2 for red.Like it's not going to work.
It's like with airlines, you know, like when the gas prices are up, Doug, well, we've got to raise ticket prices, but then the gas prices go back down.It's like, uh, those ticket prices need to come back down also.Nope.Okay.Sure.That's fine.Yeah.
It's time for a commercial.It's time for a crap commercial.
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So then sighs like, Oh my god, these tomatoes are aggressive.Because what are they called?Cytosilvas?
She goes, No, I'm not a fighter.I'm more of a Zen person now.
He goes, Oh, you're a Zen tomato. So anyway, this show's really, it's really just like, it's operating on all cylinders right now.
So it's going to grow her own garden because she is sick of paying for Whole Foods.Let me tell you what, pay for Whole Foods.Growing lettuce is not fun.Okay.I've never seen one person on TV.
Actually, I did see one person who was like, I love growing lettuce.It's all I love to do.I grew this kind of lettuce and some romaine over there.It's a baby lettuce here.
And he was really, really chubby, by the way, which I was like, wow, what are you eating that with?Because I always think of lettuce as, you know, diet stuff, not just something you eat to enjoy.Well, I guess it's also a blue cheese vehicle.
I'm really setting myself on my own path today.But he enjoyed making lettuce.But I've never heard of anybody enjoying growing lettuce.It sounds horrible.
I tried to grow lettuce and it was fun.I did grow lettuce.And here's the thing.You know who loves lettuce more than us?Pests.My goodness.It was like a A-FID hotel.And then one day it got hot.So then all the lettuces
developed giant lettuce erections.And that's when that happens.You're like, well, the lettuce is done, you know, they all go to seeds, they put up these stocks.So the lettuce was a bust on my end.
And I would say I would buy lettuce, I think lettuce, when we talk about prices being high, I think lettuce is actually in a pretty good place.So I think you can get like lettuce for a reasonable price.
I don't know what she bought a bag of lettuce the other day, it was only $7.I was like, wow, what a deal.
How much could lettuce cost?By the way, I made a sauce last night with lettuce, and it was lovely.I made a pesto with lettuce because I didn't have spinach.It was going to be a spinach pesto, so I used lettuce.
So there, a new use for lettuce has been unlocked.
So size like, you know, we want to start a farm.If it was up to my husband, we'd start a farm.
But, you know, I'm a New Yorker forever.Listen, if I don't hear sirens and people saying, fuck you early in the morning, what kind of lettuce do you grow, bitch?I wouldn't feel safe.You know, I do not do quiet.It's not for me.All right.
You know what I do?Lettuce.Lots of lettuce.So fucking expensive lettuce.
Do you think I look like Michael Jackson?
And he's like, yeah, you do sort of look like Michael Jackson.
Wrong answer, I was going for Janet.
So then she's like, she's saying, yeah, it's my vibe today.And she's talking about how her aunt is coming into town.She's really excited to see her because, you know, And Sophia's like the best.We saw her last season.
And how she, when she comes into town, she watches the kids, she cooks and everything, does all these wonderful things.
But we ultimately find out it's because Sai has decided she wants to get her mom out of the box because she has her ashes in a box in the closet.And it's time to move mom's ashes into a more beautiful vessel and put mom on a mantle
in upstate New York.Yeah.
And she was like, I've had mom in a box for two years.That's not cool.So, you know, we're shooting.Let's bring her out.My mother, we put my grandpa, we put my papa in a box and then we lost the box.And then my meemaw was like, where's the box?
And we're like, oh, my God, because we had to move her from one home to another home.So we were like moving all day and stuff.And the box was lost.I mean, I blame my mother.It could have been any of us, honestly. And we had to fake stuff in a box.
We put other stuff in a box and just hoped because like who opens the box, you know what I mean?You don't go through the box and like, Oh, you know, wonder what's in here.It's a dead person, you know, it's ashes.So like little bits of bone and stuff.
So we're hope, you know, we were hoping at the time, like, Oh my God, hope she doesn't go through the, through the box.But then what if she does like eventually.
forget her UNO card somewhere and she's looking through boxes and then she can't find them and then she opens a box full of flour.Is she going to kill us?Sad.Don't just leave boxes lying around even if they have your papa in them.
Do something better with that.
Yeah.I think that's a good, that's a good lesson to take away from that.Um, so yeah, they're going to do this whole thing.
And, um, uh, also don't bury your mom into a tree.You know what I mean?Because if I buried my mom into, if I took my mom's ashes and I put them into a tree every day, that tree would kind of look at me like I was fat.
every day, it would be like, do you need to eat that?I'd be like, goddammit, why did I have to do this right outside the kitchen tree, you know?Why couldn't I have done it somewhere else, you know?
I should have put her way in the back so she can't batch save me from back there.
So now we go over to Jessalyn Povits.And Povit is sitting at a desk and he's got like a, like a, like smart glasses on.Meta Ray-Bans, I believe is according to our note taker.
And the sort of thing that like, no one really would buy these in real life except for Tech Bros and Ronnie.I bought them.You did?
I had them.Yes, you don't remember? Okay.So I bought these things when I went to Bravo con because I was like, I want to take video.
Those are the glasses you got.
Yes.And I was really bad at, I'm bad at taking pictures and stuff like that.So I was like, if I just record it, then I'll, I can go through it later and make a fun video of like the experience and stuff like that.And like, the other podcasters.
And, you know, I thought it would be fun.And when I tell you these things, just blanket people like traffic.It's like having a siren in your face.So, every time they're on, people are like, oh, what are you wearing?Are you recording me?
So, that wasn't fun.So, I had to take them off.And it was a waste of my time.And also, every time I asked it something, it got it wrong.So, I don't really know.
I think like, yeah, I think if Google couldn't get it going with the Google Glass, I think everyone should just stop.So Jessel's like, Puppet, are you ever going to take those off?And he's like, Oh, no, absolutely not.
Puppet, you have dents on your nose from your heavy nerd glasses.Take them off.
Well, what's my IQ then?Ask it that.He's like, what's her IQ?And he's like, Meta said, astronomical.Meanwhile, we hear the glasses.It's like, dumb bitch, dumb bitch.
About to have a about to have a clueless party and not even dress like any, any outfit from Clueless. Why did I say dumpy?That's not nice.I love Jessel.
Not our sweet Jessel.Jessel is like one of like, she is the breakout star of this franchise.She deserves a better cast.
I'm sorry.I take that back.I shouldn't call anybody a dumpy word.
I'm just in that kind of mood.You know why?It's because we started off with lettuce and dead moms.
Sorry, the side stuff has really triggered you.So Pavit is like, well, Meta says your IQ is astronomical.Yeah, but I don't know about that because I married you.So I think that Meta may not know something about me.
So anyway, I think, anyway, who cares?I don't want to talk about this anymore.What are you up to, you stupid person?And Pavit's like, just working.Well, I have so much to do.I have to plan this birthday. And he's like, well, how's that coming along?
Well, you've been used to this as usual.And the answer is no, we cannot send out invitations in the form of Bonnie.
And he's never seen Clueless and she's shocked. The straight guy.He's never sat through Clueless.Why would he?You know?And so he's like, it just seems like so old.The movie's like so old.And it was 1995, guys.And he's like, so, so old.
And so she's like, he's more of a Star Wars kind of a guy, like a Star Trek kind of a guy.He's not cool. So it's very cute, like high school drama, dating, the fashion's ridiculous.It's about Beverly Hills.So they're having a clueless party.
I don't care.So she's gonna have multiple looks because she's Cher, right?And she wanted to do the revolving closet, but she can't because it's a party.So she's just gonna have lots of outfits now.
Yeah.Um, and poppet is just like, confused by this entire concept.He's like, you're gonna switch your outfits in the middle of the party?Yeah. Why?So I'm giving different looks, Pavit.Why not just wear one?Because that's so, Pavit, I mean, boring.
What are you talking about, you idiot?And so, and then she's like, yeah, talking about the revolving closet and everything.And Pavit just has, Pavit does not understand this.
Pavit is very much a tech bro and he doesn't understand the world of ladies and tech and clueless and things like that.
So she's like, what are you getting me for my birthday?It better be diamonds and like Chanel handbags.And it better not come from Chinatown poverty.If I get something from Betty's, Betty's.
What was that place they went to?It was like Betty's boon or something like that.Or Susan's boon or Cynthia's boon.
It's bun, by the way.I think it's still bun.You're right.
It was bun.Someone did correct us that like boon is correct in Vietnamese, but this was not a Vietnamese restaurants.It was bun.
Yeah, so yeah, she's like, it better not be one of Betty's buns, vomit.All right.And so then we go to Brynn, who's getting her lashes done at Envious Lashes, and she's FaceTiming Gideon, the ex-fiance.
She's like, well, I know I'm showing nothing in my life, so I'm just going to keep showing this billionaire that I went on a date with a couple of times and sat in a car with last season.I'm sure people are dying to know what's going on with Gideon.
Oh, I'm really upset, however, that sugar is not in the chair next to you.Sugar doesn't get pampered enough, I think.
Oh, my God.Clem doesn't want to put eyelashes on a dog.She's already putting eyelashes on this bitch.He's like, I'll be done now.
I've put in my five minutes of contractually obligated, charming British time on FaceTime.I have to get back to doing financial things and having tea.
Brim literally spends a hundred percent of her screen time this week, getting stuff done, getting her vanity stuff done.She's like, we have to film.
Okay.I'll get my lashes done then.Then I'll go get a spray tan.
Um, so then we go to Aaron and Abe at blank street coffee.And, uh, I don't know why that name makes me laugh.And, uh, it's just so Aaron, you know, let's eat at Brent.Let's let's go to blank street.It's the only place that really gets me.
I know there's something about the word blank that really just sort of works with Aaron.She's like, well, Hey, EMI has basketball and soccer and someone has to pick them up at five 15.And I'm really hoping that that can be you.
I went to the zoo today.He's like, Oh, well, that's fair.Uh, I would eat you a little bit of work when I get back.Oh yeah.I hope that work doesn't mean selling my Bitcoin.Oh wait, you already did that.
What do you think I'm going to do?Sit around and watch TV?I have work, too."And then he puts a straw into his drink and it splatters on her.And she's like, are you kidding?This is why people stay married for 100 years.This right here.
Just the sheer joy that's exuding off of the TV.I'm like, you know what?I'm going to change my lifestyle and maybe date.
Abe, I can't believe you just splattered me with your coffee from Blank Street.Are you kidding?I can't take you anywhere.Oh my God, I think we're about to go viral with this clip.
So Jenna, meanwhile, is at her new job because Beckett, you know, Beckett's leaving soon.And I think that, you know, knowing he's not going to be here, I just have to stay busy.So I took another job with another company that nobody has ever or ever
will hear of.This one's called Coveteur, and I'm the CEO.I'm the CEO of about 37 places right now, which is great.White ladies just keep sending me money.I don't even know what I'm doing at this place.
I just go in and I say khaki, and they all applaud.
It's pretty amazing. Okay, team, nice to see you all.Thanks for making your way in from outer boroughs.
So what excited me is- And I could report on the tunnels.I really haven't been in those in a while.
So how much are the tools these days?Are they up to $2?
So, uh, tools are Burger King.
Jenna, each of the editors has prepared a couple of pitches.So then one of them, Anna's like, okay, so beauty.So there's women who are traveling to Turkey to get their eye black, their eyebrow implants.And it was like, sign me up.Oh my God.
What if this job is hilarious?Okay.Who's next?Someone top it.
Jenna, there are women who are traveling to Serbia to get two of their middle toes stuck together, so they are half-webbed toes.And we're really thinking of following up on that.
Good.Finally, an article that everyone can relate to.Let's go with that one.Okay, great.Who else?Anyone have a good story?Jenna.So there's this new trend of using pashminas as grocery bags.
People are doing it to save some money when they buy their $14 chickpeas.What do you think about that?I love that.It's so nice to see chickpeas are finally cheap again.Yeah, go with that story.
Jenna, we've heard that women are sick of the gel thing on their eyebrows, which did look a little bit crazy, but we've been getting reports of people poking themselves in the eyes.So we were thinking of moving on into more of a traffic cone shape.
What do you mean by that?Well, I think we should actually, we're just going to actually get eyelash glue and start attaching traffic cones to people's eyebrows.
I'm so proud of us. You know, we're women and we're changing the world, guys.And guess what?You can go around me.Am I right, guys?You can go around the trap.I've got a traffic cone on.I mean, this is gonna be great.
Jenna, we just heard there is a huge new trend that is happening in Northern Estonia where people are taking the idea of a bold cut and they're turning it on its head.So bold cuts are out in colander cuts.
It's like a bold cut, but it has little holes in it.
That is so great.Yeah, a colander.That's so great.So basically, let's say you're at home and you're trying to move milk from a big carton into a smaller carton.You just pour it on top of your head and just, it'll come out your mouth, Jenna.
It'll come out your mouth.That is such a good idea, everybody.God, I'm glad to be here.Okay. I'm sorry, I've got to go to my other job at Provocatease, OK?So I'll be over there if anybody needs me.By the way, did I use up my khaki idea here?No?
OK, great.Thanks, guys.I'll see you in about a month.Just shoot me back in a sec.
Actually, my favorite part is that amongst all these, all these picks, uh, pitches, one person goes, okay, I have a culture pitch.There's kind of a burgeoning clown community in Los Angeles that's happening.
And I laugh because my cousin said the exact same thing to me last month.She was like, wait, do you know that there's like a burgeoning clown thing that's happening in LA right now?There's like a clown comedy scene.I was like, what?
She goes, yeah, I'm seeing a clown show tonight. I was like, what?Yeah.She's like, it is.She's like, it's like a really cool.It's like a new kind of clown thing.
Well, when I first moved here years ago, I knew a girl who took circus classes.I mean, that was a big thing where people would take trapeze class and stuff like that.Um, but I didn't know it was, it had fully evolved into clown.
It's like hipster clowning.Um, and uh, yeah, uh, I was speaking to someone a few months ago and I was like, how was your assistant?And they were like, Oh, Oh, I wish you could be here, but she's taking clown classes.So I'm like, something's going on.
Something's going on with clowns right now.It's in the air.
Finally, clowns are breaking through.I'm wondering who like the breakthrough clown was.Everybody's like, that's what we should be doing, because clowns have been trying to shit for years.
And I mean, for as long as I remember, people like, oh, clowns, clowns are scary.Clowns are gross. I've never been in a time where people are like, wow, clowns, respectful.
And now suddenly to hear someone must have trailblazed that shit and made it cool.
Yeah.I think it was, um, I think it was Pennywise, right?Pennywise did it because Pennywise also trailblaze, uh, pronouns for clowns, literally it it's like, what are your pronouns?
Oh my God, you're totally changing Instagram bylines forever.
Just it, it works in all.You don't even have to do, you don't even need to have a second after the slash.It's not he, him, it's just it, it.
Slash it.That's some funny shit.It is Halloween.
So she's like, guys, you know what?I really want to make a move. including people.I'm like, okay, you know what, you and every cereal company and every I get it.But it's just like such a buzzword now.It's like, okay, you know what, guys?
You know what we want?Inclusion.Okay?I want a person of every color.I want a person of every faith.And I want people who love planes and people who like buses instead of planes.Can we get that?And all of them unite with genes.Okay?
Let's just get that.Let's get plane people and car trip people united. with, with jeans, but I want them from different countries too.It's like, Oh my God, come up with some jeans, you know, come up with some new pants shapes.
That's, that's what I say.
Anyway, we now go over to Raquel who is at Uba's apartment and Uba's saying how she invited Raquel over, um, because she wants to get to know Raquel a little bit better.
And she also wants Raquel to have a better impression of Uba because she's like, yeah, I kind of freaked out at the Hamptons.So, So Ube is showing Raquel all the artwork that she's made.
And she's like, I did it for me because I'm so passionate about color.And every time, everything in my home, it has to come from so much joy.I want to paint when I'm like laughing and dancing and stealing coconut milk from restaurants.
That's when I'm happiest.And I'm sorry, actually, nothing is on.So they're looking at it and Raquel's like, Oh, well, no, this is nice.I mean, it came out of you.So anything that comes out of you is art.So this is really beautiful.
I mean, I would only get about $5 from it, but it's beautiful, beautiful art.
Did Uma have all that art last year?I don't remember if she had like a lot of art that she talked about painting.It does sound familiar.
I don't remember.I actually liked her art.I thought her art was pretty nice.
Well, I'm just asking because she's like, well, I couldn't hang it because there's water damage.And so I had to clean up.
So it's not hanging, but just the idea that an art dealer is coming over and you're like, get all that shit out of the closet and put it everywhere.You never know.
Yeah, exactly.Like. bring out your finger painting.So, you know that Raquel has to deal with this every single time.She goes over to someone's house like, look at this painting that Charlie made.I can't believe he's only five.
It's like real art, don't you think?And you know, Raquel's like,
Yeah, well, it's really beautiful.
It came from Charlie's heart.So that's art.If you want me to say I could sell this for $10,000, I probably can't.But, you know, good job, Charlie.Keep at it for 20 years.
Let me tell you what's free.Calling something art.You're welcome. You're welcome.It's what I could give to you.So anything else?And, um, she's like, uh, you know, they talk about when she started painting and stuff.
And, um, there's a flag that she painted.That's a black and white with white.Dots or something.Is that what it was?Or like white stars or something?
And says, we know they're gold because she thinks she sees all these gay people who have never slept with women.That's funny.That's a, that's a good flag actually.
So yeah, she says that basically this country, so many people see things in such a black and white way, but what she sees is a country full of gold.There's so many wonderful things.She doesn't have to have a bodyguard.
No one stops to check your passport when you travel.There's actually so much freedom and that like immigrants, she says, you know, immigrants come here and we are so happy to be here.So she's like, don't fuck it up for us.
♪ Commercials, here comes one right now. ♪
So then she starts talking about modeling and her path through modeling as she came to New York and Uba and Raquel bond over what it's like to be a person of color modeling and how Uba didn't realize she was like a token and or that sometimes they just wouldn't cast her because she was black.
And she just thought, oh, well, people are busy or people are booked.And it took her a while to realize, oh shit, there's like a lot of racism in fashion and all over the place.
Mm hmm.And then they talk about the Hampton.So we finally get to the Hampton stuff.And so it was like, you know, um, that reference, that breakfast took a different turn.
But the night before when people were sleeping, Bryn was talking to me, condescending then to like, Oh, boohoo, you're so beautiful.But you know what?The way you act that they're going to edit you like an angry black woman.
And Raquel's like, yeah, I don't know what Brynn is thinking saying that, you know, because Brynn is the one who triggered Uba into acting that way in the first place.
And then she's like, oh, now you're behaving in a way that can make you look like an angry black woman.And that's not cool. Yeah, she says is manipulative, which is a good call, you know, it totally is.
So, um, Uber feels like Britain wants to set her up, you know, and, and Raquel is like, Yeah, so, you know, you know, then when you let us all know how you were feeling, and then Brin wanted to respond, you felt she was just going, like, I had no interest in what she was going to say.
Yeah, sometimes you have to have that conversation with each other, though.She's like, absolutely not.Not for someone who does things intentionally.
So then we go to, I just want to say one thing.I just want to say one thing.Raquel is like, Hey, you know, we're all friends here.Like you can't just like shit, let shit hang in the air.
And then you, then you're just like stewing and brewing and you're going to explode, get it out.I'm like, no Raquel.That is the way the show works.Sewing brewing explosion.That is the path we're looking for here.Not healthy interactions.
Come on, Raquel, you're on TV.
No, I think Housewives is about like, I have a problem with you, you get it out and you argue about it.And then if it's not resolved, then you argue about it again.Then you start turning people against each other.You don't sit on it, it's boring.
Especially something little, you know?I mean, I don't know, I'm thinking of Salt Lake City.They'll just be like, they take that shit immediately.It's like the next time you see them, I heard you said this shit about me.
She just told me in the car on the way over.It's like, damn, how'd you find out already?
Well, guess what?We are now at your favorite scene, Ronnie.
We're at Sai's house in upstate New York, and we're there with Sophia, Sai's aunt, and they're at the house and everything, and walking around, and Sai's showing her the whole upstate house that she bought, and how they're renovating it, and Sai is moving stuff into the house very slowly, one piece at a time, because she only wants to put stuff in there that she really, really cares about.
Yeah, so then they go to Barry's mom and it's sad, you know, it's a touching scene.And so she's saying, you know, I want my mom to be part of nature.
I want her to be part of nature.I mean, who knows, one day she could be a head of Romaine.You know what I'm saying?Because we're going to build some great Romaine out here.
She's like, I could come out here and just be with my mom and stuff.Sophia cries, which is super sad, and they give a nice send-off to the mom.
Yeah.They say nice things and they put the ashes.Then Ms.Aunt Sophia has the ashes all over her hands and starts hugging everyone.
So I was like, come on, you're getting my mom all over everyone's outfits.
And then they're laughing and they find the joy in it.And, um, you know, it's, it's sweet and it's sad.So they moved on and yada, yada, yada.
So now we go to Jessel, who is shopping and, um, and then Aaron shows up and Brynn is there and Brynn's like, he's there shopping.
Oh my God, I love that you're like hosting a clueless party.And do you know why?And Jess was like, cause duh.Yeah.Okay.Yeah.
And so Aaron's like, I saw on Instagram that Sai and Jenna were together.So now what?They're like best friends. Or there are people on a show that they're allowed to socialize. Why are they not allowed to be friends?
Weren't you, weren't you guys the one saying last season that Cy needed to chill the fuck out and try and be friendlier?And now she's like, she's being friendlier.
So Brynn's like, oh my God, now they're friends.I'm glad to help with that relationship.
I mean, it's just so bizarre.I can't stand the fakeness.I'm so sorry.I just can't.I like actually don't even want to be friends with Jenna right now.
Like, this is who Erin is.This is the sort of person Erin is.Like, she will just, like, throw a friendship out the window because she just sees something on social media.She's like, I am going through such a hard time.She knows that.
She has not reached out to me once.She's not asked me once how I'm doing. Yet she has time to go out with someone who, according to her, has sold all of New York City that she can't stand her.If that's the kind of friend she is, I'm good.
How about the kind of friend that you are, which is that when Jenna has reached out to you in the past, you put all her shit out there for everyone.
You made her seem like a total snob for flying business and not flying with everyone else the last trip.And then with the Uber thing, you went and told everyone that she hasn't paid you back.
And now she's not going to pay you back out of spite because of you.So like, why? Aaron's acting like, oh, she's like an amazing friend to Jenna Lyons.And like, she can't believe Jenna Lyons is not being amazing friend back.
It's like, I don't know, I think you should go back and look at the tape.
And also she'd fall asleep.Like, she's already had to look at the tape.If you're gonna go back to watch the tape, don't do it while you're driving.We've seen it, trust me. but also her whole argument here.
According to her, Cy was saying it to everybody that she hates her.Brynn was the one that did that.You're talking to Brynn right now, the girl who spread that literally everywhere.What are you mad at Jenna for?
She's just the one who refused to get mad at it and foiled your plan, which you were going to try and start a fight with Jenna and Cy, and that didn't work.Now you're going to try a fight for yourself, And Jenna, and that's not going to work either.
Find something better to do.Go get a personality.You are seriously bottom of the barrel at this point.This is rough.This is rough.
Well, Jenna's going to get an earful from me.I will literally march over to Jenna's right now and be like, are you fucking kidding me?Also, I'm way.
I'm gonna go tell her, you know what?How dare you be cordial with somebody and make amends with somebody.That's crazy.I spent all day making amends with a man named Gideon.I know my eyebrows gone.Why do you have holes in your hair?
It's a colander cut.So Aaron is like...
Why is milk coming out of your ears?
We haven't perfected it.You really have to go to Estonia to do it right.That's what I've learned. So Ariadne is like, I mean, so by the way, Brynn, how do you feel like, you know, you're gonna see everyone tomorrow?
She's like, I don't care.Like, I love you guys and I love Jenna.But like, Uben's been like crazy and I'm like sick of like, oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.Like, we are grown women living in New York City and we don't act like that.And what?
I mean, like, and Skye, she needs to apologize to me.I want a fucking written apology.
Then Cy is telling Jenna at lunch or whatever that she sent a message in the group chat apologizing for the raised voices at the rooftop.Then she sent Bryn a separate text apology and Bryn left her on read.
Yeah, Bryn, you already got your apology and it's written down, so it's not like you can deny it.We go back to her and she's like, Yeah.
She's like, I'm trying to give her grace and I want to hear people's feelings because it's 2024 and I watch Gen Z TikTok.And I will honor your emotions and I will apologize.But do not call me Satan in my face and tell me to shut the fuck up.Do not.
And I'm done.And I'm done playing nice.
You've never played nice.All you do is go try and ruin everybody's friendships and shit-stir, and the second you get called out, you go fucking cry about it.Give me a break, lady.
When the entire audience likes Psy more than you, you've really stumbled.You've fallen and you can't get up.You need to press that little button on your neck.
Help me, I'm falling and I can't get up.
Help me, I'm falling and I can't get up.I guess I'm on my back.
And they're like, ma'am, are you having an emergency?
Are you having an emergency?
I was like, are you flirting with me over your life alert?
Maybe, what are you wearing?
We've got somebody on the floor on her back.She's calling us on her back.
How dare you say I'm on my back?Let's see me, me.
You just said it, ma'am.You just called us.Ma'am, unfortunately we can't save you.There are too many stairs in your building. So I like that, by the way, I like that Bryn has this amazing revelation.
You know what?I'm starting to genuinely now think Sai is a miserable person.I'm like, did you not watch your first season?
Where have you been?Do you just pay attention to things later?I mean, what is your personality?She's like, she wants to make other people miserable.Well, it seems to work because you two are fucking miserable.
You're sitting here being miserable for no reason.You're shopping for a clueless party.This is like one opportunity for you to actually have a good time.
I'm like, I'm so miserable because Sai had lunch with somebody.
Brin and Aaron are so bothered by the single Instagram photo of Psy and Jenna having lunch.So Jessel's like, by the way, you said that the couch like opens up and swallows you.Is that what we're trying to go trying to go right now?What?
I don't know.I think she's just stressing out because they're bitching about how miserable everybody is.And Jussel's like, I'm having fun though.You know, Jussel's like positive.She's like, I don't need this with you weirdos.
So then we go to Jussel's party and Jussel's like, everything is how I envisioned it.Pink balloons, alcohol flowing, candy, candy, candy. Pavit not speaking, amazing.It's fat with a P, which would be Pat, wouldn't it?
I've never really understood that, but you know, English.
So there's balloons that say things like rolling with the homies and stuff like that.And Pavit of course is confused.
I don't get it.I don't get it.Oh, Pavit, be quiet.Could someone throw his stupid glasses out the window? So Jenna arrives, and Jenna's pretty funny.Jenna is dressed as Cher's dad.She really leans into it.
She's like doing the whole Cher's dad shtick, the entire party.She keeps handing out like little subpoenas.And she's like, I had never seen Clueless, and so I had to watch the film.
And I was just like really scared that it was going to involve like climbing up an indoor mountain. climbing thing.And I got really scared, but it's not about that at all.I don't know why I thought that.I just sometimes just get scared with that.
Teenagers do that all the time.And I realized all the girls were just going to be like short little skirts.So I was like, I don't want to do that.So I'm going to dress like Mel because I love Mel.Yeah.
I just basically, I didn't want to watch a whole movie.So I just turned it on and then I went with the first person I saw wearing pants.
I'm a big Dan Hedaya fan.
I had, so this was great for me.Hedaya had two night where I, So she's walking around like, I'm doing business.I'm so upset.I have a daughter.And so Jess was like, this is one of my four outfits having nothing to do with the movie.I would know.
I just, I love Dan Hedaya's pants though.
God, very talented pants.Very good.Is anyone else here going to HedayaCon?
No, just me.Okay.The best thing about those pants, they were inclusive pants.God, I love some inclusive pants.
So, Jessel is like, yes, so, Jenna fucking Lyons.Oh, I'm getting sued.Oh, what?Because I guess her subpoena says like you're getting sued or I guess it's not subpoena, it is subpoena, I don't know.Serving with paper.
Yeah, she's serving everybody papers.You look like a Christmas tree.Whatever, zaddy.Did I do that right? Everyone's showing up and they're like, she's a paddy.That's like a daddy, but with a P. Paddy.I did a paddy once.
So people are showing up looking vaguely like clueless, but then Rebecca, Rebecca Minkoff, who works in fashion, shows up wearing all black with a headband.They're like, Rebecca, I don't know if this is exactly a clueless look for you.
Um, and Aaron's like, um, you're Josh.You're just very much Josh.You're like a dorky, weird Jew.Wait.Oh, who's she talking to brave.And then Abe's like, I don't even need to pretend.Okay.
And so then someone else like, Oh my God, you should have won a final.
And Aaron's like, he almost did.And I told him no.
Well, senior, what are you being such a party pooper for?This is like a flannel.This is like the time for flannel.How do you not allow Abe where to wear flannel?
Oh, a neighbor.Like I suggested flat on and profit goes, put your foot down, man.Put your foot down.Good luck.Get it stomped on.
Yeah, exactly.Well, this is the punishment.Aaron is punishing him for the Bitcoin still.It's like, well, you took away my Bitcoin.So I'm going to make your clueless costume a little worse.No flannel for you.
So then Aaron's asking Jessel what she's going to do on the actual day.She's like, well, I was hoping to have surprising gifts that didn't smell like fried chicken.Why would they smell like fried chicken?
Because my last gift was actually fried chicken.So I texted Parvat, I hope you're surprising me.But then he sent me a text and said, what do you want for your birthday?So I guess that's not going to work.I mean, Saks delivery is at least five days.
Bergdorf is at least a week.I mean, Net-A-Porter, is that what it is?Net-A-Porter?I don't know.It's $25 to deliver and he's not going to spend that.
Well, what if he's doing like a really good job of pretending like that?
It's all happening, right?Right.I'm just like, but I would doubt he would.You know, my philosophy on holidays in general, that they are, I'm sorry, this is pop it.Sorry, that was me doing my life impersonation my life.Um,
My philosophy on holidays in general is that they're all BS created by the greeting card industry.So don't get me started on Valentine's Day.With all these damn holidays you got there, how many gifts do you have to buy?It's a waste of money.
The only holiday I'm going to celebrate is any holiday that Elon Musk decides to start.
Other than that, no holidays for me. So, yeah, that's not going to work.You don't believe in holidays.You have a wife who needs gifts.So, you know, you may not believe in holidays, but do you believe in love languages or not getting your ass kicked?
I don't know.Choose your belief, but buy some gifts.Fucking beliefs have no effect on what I expect from you on Valentine's Day, sir.Thank you.
So Jessel goes up to Uba, she's like, can you believe I'm going to be 41?I'm entering my 40s, still married to this idiot.And Uba's like, yes, but you look like you're 20.And are you wearing another outfit?
Oh God, I have so many that are not from this movie.I can't wait to show you.
Yeah, and Uba was like, I didn't have anything to wear.Did Uba dress up?I don't remember.
She sort of had like a plaid.She was wearing something that's like tweed, sort of plaid.It sort of like alluded to Clueless.There were very few people who actually dressed like Clueless at all.Psy was like the only one.
Psy and Brynn were, I think, the closest ones.Psy looked exactly like Dion.She had like Dion's outfit.It was like crazy how she walked in and I was like, oh, that's Dion.
And I haven't seen Clueless in several years, but she got it so like, on the nose that like, my brain immediately like went to that place.And then Bryn was the only one who actually wore like, colorful plaid.
I was like, how is no one here wearing colorful plaid?That was the whole thing of the movie.It was like,
What was the other show?What was the other Housewives that did Clueless?They did a Clueless party, and it was actually pretty good.
I don't remember.I actually don't remember at all.I don't remember.I don't remember.Wow.
Wow.Let's go back into the time machine.I have no idea.Okay, so then, you know, they're talking about Jessel's outfit changes, because that's what she's bringing to the table this year.I change my clothes a lot.I'm Jessel.
So then Raquel arrives with her fiance.And let's see.
Oh, yeah, she is wearing also a replica of shares Calvin Klein outfit.But that didn't.That was like, that was also very accurate.But for some reason, for me, I didn't like remember it.So I was like, Okay, sorry, Raquel, you deserve credit to Raquel.
So then, um, they're making small talks and stuff, small talk about outfits and stuff like that.And so then Jenna and, uh, not Jenna, Brynn and Aaron get to being nasty as they do.And, um, Brynn's like talking about the orders or whatever.
And Aaron's like, I mean, like my friendships are about authentic connection. Can we eat the hors d'oeuvres?Like, how did that there's not even like a segue into it.Because I was like, what's going on between you two?
Because Aaron's just sitting there making shitty comments.Jenna's walking around trying to make people's laugh.Make people was wrong with me.And Aaron's watching.And so I says, Who's she on the phone with?And Aaron's like, I don't know.
She annoys the shit out of me. She goes, what's going on between you?She's like, nothing.I just realized she's not an actual friend.You are the betrayer of this group.
There's not been one person on this show that you haven't thrown under the bus for literally no reason.Yes.Psycho.I don't even want to call you psycho because that would suggest more personality.At least psychos are fun.
They get movies made about them.
Also, can you imagine the balls to be like sitting with Sai and being like, yeah, I'm mad at Aaron.I'm mad at Jenna, because she hung out with you.Like, really?Tackling hags.
So Sai's like, but you two were very close.I'm growing lettuce.
And Aaron's like, I don't know.I'm not interested in having a friendship with her.And so now Aaron's, sorry.Yeah, go on.No, no, go ahead. Aaron tells us, my kids drive me crazy.
And then, you know, like, she's talking about how like, you know, like, and then my mom, you know, my mom is sick.And then, you know, I'm not able to rely on my husband during this time.It's like really messed with my head.
And that's what I need my friends to band together for me.And I just, I need some grace, which I don't get.She keeps saying that she needs grace.No, I'm sorry, Bryn was the other one.
No one's giving you shit.No one's giving you shit.People have to be giving you shit or you have to be doing something for them to be giving you grace for it.Nothing is happening.No, everyone's giving you grace.
Literally everybody is being nice to you.You're cuckoo.What are you talking about?
Aaron and Bryn both asking for grace. So I was like, well, that makes me sad to hear.
I mean, if I had been listening, but I wasn't.So have a great party.Talk to you later.
You know what?Get back to me when you figure out how to get with romaine seeds.OK.
So then Uba's like, I'm going to break this party.So she goes over and she's like, so this is about Jenna.Are you guys okay, Erin?And she's like, no, I'm just like, fine.I have like great friends.Like, I'm good.
Like, I just don't even want to invest time and like trying to be friends with her.And she goes, but does she know that?She's like, no, I mean, I don't know.Trying to make a drama up on the side.Everybody's like, oh, my God.
So I was like, you know, she probably doesn't realize.
Yeah, well, she probably has no clue.And then they showed Jenna, like with her fake cell phone, like taking a drink, like having fun in her costume as if like, oh my God, look at Jenna Lyons.Look how self-involved she is.She's having fun at a party.
That's not allowed.Like, it's okay.She can have fun with her costume. So Brynn's like, oh, sorry, Aaron's like, yeah, the friend that Jenna was to me when we were close is the friend that I need right now.
And I feel like I was that friend to her, except like the shitty version.It's just not reciprocated.Not cool, man.
Really, because all we've seen from you is that you try and start fights with Jenna and the other women.It's been two years in a row now where you try and dis her behind everybody's back to make everybody not like her.
So I don't know what this close friendship was, but I think you're full of scent, lady.
So Brynn's like, um, I heard something very interesting.And like yesterday, I was with Jethro and Aaron.
Of course.Of course.She can't keep one thing to herself for more than two seconds.
And she's like, yeah, and Aaron was like, signed Jenna our friends now, and all I said was, I'll talk to Jenna, so now I'm talking to Jenna.Right, Jenna?Am I talking to you?
She's like, I'm on a phone, because I'm like in an 80s movie, and I love pants.She's like, yeah.
So, if you become Betty Buddy with people that are mean, mean, I will not be happy, happy, and there will be no more sex.
Jenna's like, um, I appreciate that Brynn had a direct conversation with me.I don't love the fact that Aaron backdoored it and didn't say it to me, to my face while I was holding a fake phone.So Brynn is like, you know, it's fine.
I don't want you to be in the middle of any hand, but I want to be in the middle of you and another lady.
So Brynn teaming up with Aaron to bring down Jenna, but Aaron's not doing it quick enough.So Brynn's going to try to speed it up and look like she's so innocent in this whole conversation.So messy.So then Jenna's like, I'm cautious.
I mean, I'm always cautious.Always.I mean, I haven't put like a pop socket on the back of this gigantic phone.Really don't want to drop it.Really against dropping phones.I hate that.It's just such a waste.
So then Rebecca and Raquel sit down with Jenna and Bryn.And Rebecca's like, hello, Danny, make me a deal.And Jenna's like, OK, you got to get on my schedule.And Jessel's like, oh, look, this is a nice little foursome of people here.
And Jenna's like, yeah, well, by the way, when's your next outfit change?I'm really excited for Jessel.
She's like, soon, soon, stay tuned.Jessel change coming right up.
So then Brent's like, oh my god, I hate the outfit so bad, but I fucking love it because you're out of your goddamn mind.
And she's saying that Jocelyn's really camp.She's like head camp counselor.
Hold on.Waiting for applause.Hold on.Let's go to commercial break and see if we can get a break from it.
closest thing to camp this show has had in a while so rebecca is like um that's what this show needs he's a camp counselor it really does actually it's like anne burrell so rebecca is like Rebecca's like, okay, I'm gonna get a drink, Danny.
And Bryn's like, are you getting a real drink?She's like, no, you're gonna get, well, you just want me to drink, that's like your goal.
And Bryn's like, yeah, okay, look, I'm not like a frat guy, I'm not gonna be like, drink, drink, but if you like wanna have a half a glass of chard, and then like a little friggity, like just do it, let's get on your virgin bed.
I don't like when people hold out on me.
This makes me so mad – not mad, but sad when people are like this, because I haven't been drinking for a few years, as you know.I mean, I do still drink sometimes.I didn't go completely sobs.But I used to drink a lot.
So, I've kind of slowed down with that.And people's reactions are so weird.And people who act like Bryn – and there are a lot of people who act like Bryn.They're like, what?And you're not – why?Is everything okay?You need to.You're so boring.
Have a drink.Come on.It's going to hurt you.
Why don't you have me one?
You guys look like fucking addicts.You look so sad.It makes me sad for you to watch this.Like this poor woman has nothing.Like she literally has nothing.Get it together.Okay.I think sometimes people need to drink.
There's something about Rebecca that is like triggering Brynn.And I think that like when Rebecca doesn't drink with Brynn, like Brynn takes that as a rejection.I think that's usually what, when people get like that, they somehow feel rejected.
And there's like nothing to be rejected about.It's just like, oh, they don't want to drink, or they don't want to drink right now, or they don't want to drink with you.It's like, it's fine.
It's not, it's not a rejection, but Brynn, like this steps on something inside of her.
And she's like, well, but like, I know everyone that you actually drink, but you just don't drink with us.
So Rebecca leans in and goes, I'll drink with you, but not tonight.
I think it's also that people think that if you're not drinking, you're judging them and thinking they're an alcoholic.Exactly.You know, which isn't true, but she's acting like one, acting like this, like so desperate.It's weird.
So yeah, so Brent's like, you're a boner killer. And so Rebecca's like, weird, bye.So then, and also I think Brynn really, she goes, everything's always womp womp with her.It's like where fun goes to die.Really?Cause you have not been fun, so.
Are we going to blame that all on the new girl?
Because you've done nothing.And then we get the Rebecca montage, which is her saying, you know, I do have a little bit of a pigeon tail.
And then, you know what?You need local honey.And then I was worried this headband makes my nose look bigger. Did you know you have to rotate your tires?
And Brent's like, she's so boring.I can't.I can't.
So then, Brynn, of course, goes up to Raquel's fiance, Mel.
It's like, oh, look at this sex monster.She's like my new Jenna, basically.Sorry, new lesbian for me.
Oh, God, this act is so exhausting.So then Raquel's like, I'm cool with it.
It's like, I'm a lesbian, am I right?
So Aaron's like, Oh, Jocelyn's having a clueless party yet she's wearing nothing from the movies.I'm not friends with her anymore.I need friends who will like dress like Cher.
I'm going through a really rough and not one person has come up to me and said, Hey, have you had any birthday cake?How's your haircut?
Not even one single closeted gay male has befriended me and taken me to the mall and made me sort of fall in love with him before someone had to tell me he was closeted gay.Like, I'm really upset right now.
So then Jaisal comes out in a new outfit and everybody's like, wow.And then Prabhat goes, wow.Someone says, she looks beautiful.And they go, how do you know Jaisal?And Prabhat's like, I'm married to her.They go, oh, wait, you're her husband?
Seriously? Wow, you can form sentences.That's great.You're not like her description of you.It's weird.
I thought you were handsome.I thought you'd have a lot more chicken grease on your mouth, but you're not shiny at all.You're not walking around in your underwear, which is really weird.
You don't have mayonnaise coming off the side of your lip.Although that girl does have milk coming out of her nose.Sorry, we haven't perfected it.We haven't perfected it yet.
So then, uh, so, um, basically, so Bryn is asking about like, when is the cake?And you know, like just as I, or I guess, I guess Bryn has to, Bryn wants to go, Bryn needs to go and just like, but I didn't even do my cake yet.
And she's like, yeah, but like, look, you've got all these other people.So it turns out that, uh, Bryn has a,
It's a spray tan that she needs to get at 940 at night, which I firmly believe she booked that so she'd have an excuse to leave the party that she didn't want to go to in the first place.
Yeah, but make an effort.You're at work.
So then she was like, I don't need to stay around for Jaisal's 19 million outfit change.I tried to turn people against Jenna and I'm done.Happy fifth birthday, I mean 41st.Kim Keltzer out.
So, Jessel's like, no forewarning of the spray tan, no heads up, I'm fucking pissed.So, she leaves and everything.And Jessel goes, you know what, with Bryn, let's roll that track.What's it called?Oh, You're So Vain.I'm like, wow, what a great hip
current reference to go along with your booze party?Could you at least try to have done a 90s song?
So Sai comes over, Sai, Aaron, and Uba, and Raquel are all talking.
And Sai's like, look, I want everybody to be friends.
She goes, we're good, but not best friends.And Uba's like, you don't need to be a preacher.And Raquel goes, wait, who's not friends?I'm sorry.I'm new here.And Aaron's like, I just feel differently about Jenna, because like, we're not friends.
So Raquel's like, wait, you feel differently about Jenna?What?
Let's talk about this. So Abe is like, no, I feel like you and Aaron, Abe's talking to Jenna now.And he's like, I feel like you and Aaron, like, there's just an unresolved tension.She's like, God, I'm great.
I'm not, like, I'm so, like, what's going on?Like, I don't have an issue.There's tension.I didn't know about this.And Abe is like, I wasn't gonna get involved either, but she wouldn't let me wear flannel.So, you know, turn about sparing.
It's like, I just, I don't like to do, I don't like to get messy, but you know, it's all I was really thinking and it just came out.She goes, uh, you're a lawyer.So he goes, yeah, I guess I should have kept my mouth shut.
She goes, you're going to lose this case.I love how unfazed she is.She's like, okay, idiot.So now I'm supposed to fight with their wife.Sure.Sure, buddy.Okay.
I have so many great friends.I don't need to have one that just doesn't feel authentic.I don't want to do that.I just don't feel closer.And that's okay.I'm like, literally no one cares.And she's just telling this to everyone.Like, it's fine.
Like me and Aaron were just me and Jenna, we're just like, not close.And that's okay.Like you can be friends.You don't have to be best friends with every single person you meet.Am I right?They're like, ma'am, I'm the coat check.
I really don't care about your relationship.
God.So then Jenna is saying like, this girl has a phone and a voice.She can tell me if something's wrong.I mean, I need to be, I think it would be fair to say that I was clueless about what's going on, guys.I just got offered another CEO position.
I'm like hilarious today.Alicia Silverstone actually called me and was like, will you be the editor at large for Alicia magazine?It's a new, a new thing.She's starting up.We're going to see how it goes.
I offered to start the line of baby bird feeding food where basically we're gonna chew up a bunch of pizza and then put it in little jars that you feed to your baby.
So I think it's gonna be really a great launching pad for my new line of fake eyebrows.They're called Hedaya's.If you want more of a bushy look, I think it's just gonna be a really wonderful thing.I'm gonna tell everyone I know about them.
I know that sounds like already done, but these are for babies.So that's for babies.It is going to change fashion forever.So Aaron's still going on. So Jenna joins the ladies and hugs Uba.And Uba's like, are you proposing?
She's like, no, I'm actually serving you with papers.She goes, I'm an immigrant.Shit like that scares me.Don't do that.So then Aaron is talking to Raquel now. still going on.And she's like, it's fine.It's not a big deal.
I just can be cordial with her.My line.I don't have to be her friend.It's just not the same.Like after all that, nothing she did to me, like, how could I forget that?
Rick?I was like, just talk to her.So then, um, Aaron was like, okay, I'm going to move.You sit next to her.So they're doing, they're all sitting in this area and it's like weird.And so now Aaron and Jenna are next to each other.And Aaron's like,
I don't know, this is really weird.It's like getting really intense.For you, Jenna has no idea what's going on because this is a brand new zoo that you hard launched this afternoon and now you're like, wow, it's so intense between the two of us.
And Jenna's like, is it?It is?And she goes, yeah.She goes, so are you OK?Yeah.Are you really?Well, like, honestly, like, perfectly fine.Now, does that mean I feel differently about us being friends?Yes.She's like, uh, OK.
And why do you feel differently about that?What's the feeling that you're feeling?
What is it?Like, I don't really want to be close to you.And Jenna's like, huh? Are you trying to stir me up?Are you trying to get a rise out of me?Because I'm not going to go in for it.And I actually don't want to do this at a birthday party.
All I want to do is do some more Dan Hedaya roleplay. So Aaron's like, well, it was a rough year and I felt like I was bonding with someone and I was on a, in like a deep way.Like I'm an emotional person.
And when I get close to someone, I do it for real.Cause me getting close to you means that I'm going to be there for you.So that way then I can tell everyone else about the shit that you've been doing and then make fun of you behind your back.
Like, what don't you get?
She's like, wait a minute.And Aaron's like, I mean, I really liked you.Cause like everyone has a certain way with you, but I was like always steadfast.And I like, I was like, I love her.So I would have been with you till the end.
Why are you talking like this?Did she divorce you?
Did she cheat on you?Yeah.She's like, our friendship was so deep.I would have been there too for the end.And as a testament to how strong and how steadfast our friendship was, I'm throwing it all out.
I'll throw it all out the window because he took a photo.
That's how I was like, how does it end up being my fault?She goes, at the end of the day, you get nothing for nothing.And that's all you can say for the life of the, hold on one second.Hello?
I'm sorry, I've just been told I'm too boring to carry off Les Miserables lyrics, and that doesn't work for me.So sorry.Let's just leave it at the end of the day.I think you believe what Bryn told you.Hold on, I just got another phone call.
I got another phone call.Hold on.Wow, what an honor.The producers of Les Miserables, they're changing the name of the musical to just Aaron.That's nice.
With Aaron.It's just three hours of me singing about not liking Jenna anymore for no reason.
I dreamed a dream that Aaron never took.I mean that.Why are they bringing down the curtains?
That is weird.I never would have guessed this place had curtains. I want to finish this conversation, but there's a hook dragging me off of the stage.
So I have a Bitcoin on a cloud.Keckling hacks of the house.Really?Really?Really?That's all you need in the song.Keckling hacks of the house. On my own is not how I got to sell my Bitcoin.
So she's like, you believe what Bryn told you and you've said it to me, there's some truth to it.And she's like, well, yeah, I mean, there's got to be some part of it that, you know, people don't like me or whatever.
And she goes, well, the truth was that we got in a car that wasn't working and then we had to order Uber.That was the truth part. Then Brennan and I had a four-hour conversation in her apartment.
She said, I went to Jenna's and you said, oh, you forgive Erin about the Jeff Lewis thing?Brennan said, yeah, I forgave her and she felt so bad.That's when you responded with, that was fast.
I still have trouble parsing out all this stuff, the Jeff Lewis and the Uber. how these two concepts are linked together and the subtleties that they're litigating and have been for five episodes.
So she's not mad at Bren anymore, who was the one who was upset that Aaron made the comment on Jeff Lewis.She's mad that Jenna said, wow, it was quick that you guys got forgiveness and moved on. You make no sense.You are ridiculous.
You're like an organic apple.I just see it sitting there for weeks and think how did this last so long?How is it still here?This should have been gone a long time ago.But it's still here.No one does anything.
Does anybody see the apples are sitting here?Why isn't it rotting?Get it out of my kitchen.
I was not expecting organic apples to receive a stray.
My friend was organic apples that she picked from her own.They're delicious by the way.And they never go back.They've been sitting there literally for weeks and they're still good.I'm like, how are you?They're mocking me like you could still eat me.
I'm like, no, I'm eating fucking Starburst right now.Why would I want to eat real fruit?I want fruit flavors.
We'll make an apple pie that way you can have like, um, They're delicious, too.Yeah, just can have a delicious version of an apple.Um, so Aaron was just like, she's like, Oh my god, what hurt was that in the subsequent months?
It was like you and brand and like, it felt very vague and very manufactured.I'm like, what, like this feud that we're actively listening to you in? And Jenna's like, what are you talking about?She's like, come on.She's writing.
Jenna is my closest one in the group.To me, it just felt like so inauthentic.Jenna's like, but I didn't do that.She's like, I know.But it started to shift.Jenna's like, look, I barely talk to anyone.I'm in the middle of doing three jobs.
I'm trying to perfect my colander hair.And I'm trying to be in a relationship.And I'm on fucking full tilt.
Yeah, well, me too.I don't know if you've heard of a little company called Homegirl.
So, like, it's just like some, there are certain people in this group that it's like, it's a message, it's a text, but like with you, I feel like I could just be like, that was crazy or whatever, like, whatever.It doesn't even matter.
She goes, well, I think that it does matter.And Raquel's like, it does matter because you're hurt. You're hurt.
That's art.That's art.That's art.That's happy.This conversation's art.So Aaron's like, I'm not her.I'm good.I just, it just felt shitty.Like that means you're hurt.
She's like, you know, like, because you're hurt.That's why it's what I'm hearing.I don't know if anybody else is hearing this guys.I think that Aaron has hurt.
I I'm not hurt, guys.It's just that, like, now Jenna's going to be friends with this one over here.Jenna's like, you're making assumptions, Aaron, that are not even on the table.The assumption is that I'm friends with any of you people.
And everyone's like, OK, fine, fine, fine.And now Aaron launches into yet another monologue.I sense that brings her to become jealous of my friendship with Jenna at the reunion.
And she saw us getting our hair and makeup done, which we were doing a lot.And so we see flashbacks of of Aaron and Jenna sharing a room, and so, like, a dressing room.
And so, Brynn keeps coming in, like, hey, guys, what's going on over here?What's up?A trio, right?Okay, I'm gonna go back to my room, but we can just put it in, like, all of our rooms.Okay, bye.
And she was trying too hard to insinuate a real closeness with Jenna in that.She would keep coming in like, Jenna, am I right?
I don't even know what I'm talking about, really, but right, Jenna?We're like this.We, like, share things, right, Jenna?
I didn't hear actually Jenna's joke.I'm just going to laugh because I just know it was funny.
Hold on.My phone's ringing.Hi Jenna.I can't believe you're already calling me.I was just in your dressing room.
I'm not, I'm not calling you.
Be quiet Jenna.It's so good talking to you.Bye Aaron.I'm going to go talk to Jenna on the phone in another room.Choice privacy.
And then Erin starts talking about how she knows that Bryn saw that Jenna was becoming popular, and then Bryn took an opportunity to break up a close friendship.It's like, well, I don't believe that the friendship was that close.
But also, shouldn't you be mad at Bryn, not Jenna, about this?How are you going to salvage your relationship with Jenna by being mad at her in this situation?
And aren't you doing this because you're jealous that Jenna has a relationship with Psy now?Weird.Oh yeah.
So, uh, Aaron's like, I let someone in and I don't always let people in, but I did with you.Oh, for Christ's sake, let me back out.You know what I mean?
Like everyone's acting like they're doing you a favor by dragging you down into their drama and their trauma and constant stream of negativity.You're not letting me in.You're locking me in. Where's the fucking exit?
Yeah, you're like in Stranger Things.Honestly, it's like you are literally the the upside down.It's like, okay, yeah, you let me in.But I didn't.It's not nice in here.Let me out.
Guys, the walls are moving so boringly.We're just gonna leave the town.Just give the town to the to the monsters.
Aaron, did you kill Barb?So Jenna is like, I just want to say this on the back.
She went to lunch with Sai.So I had to eat her.
Aaron does sort of have Demi Gorgon vibes.So she's like, Jenna's like, Happy Halloween, everyone, by the way, Stranger Things references.Jenna's like, I struggle with, I'm bad with communication.I struggle with like little texts and catching up.
And I just want you to know, if it makes you happier, I will fall on the sword for something I literally did nothing wrong in just to make you feel better.
And you know what, everyone wants to hear, like I'm going to try and be friends.She goes, you know what, I'm going to put this on my calendar and we're going to meet up.We're going to figure this out.Whenever I can, you know, get you in there.
We're going to do that.And she's like, it's just that I miss you though.And then they kind of hug.Oh, you know what, my bad.
I actually put this on my colander, not my calendar, so I don't know if we'll get to meet up.
What's that?I actually have a conflict.Oh my God, there's milk coming out of your nose.I know I warned you.Don't say I didn't warn you.We're working on it.We're working on it. And that brings us to the end of the episode, everybody.Um, wow.
Uh, keep working on it, you know, keep working on it guys.We'll be here.We're still waiting for you.You guys can do this.
There's enough silliness.There's enough silliness that's there.Just have to like, you know, just, just like mix it up.I think this is, I think we can, we can get it.We can get it to where it needs to be.
Yeah.But in the meantime, just keep skipping work and go get spray tans instead of actually providing anything useful.You know what I mean?That's what I always say.
Everybody, thanks so much for being here for Real Housewives of New York and happy Halloween, you spooky, spooky mother truckers.We'll be back later on today with some Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.
And then later this week on our Patreon is a trailer trash of Southern John, which is coming back very soon.So go check it out, everybody.We sure love you.And we will talk to you next time.
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