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Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens
Hello, and welcome to Watch Our Crap Ends, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about.I'm Ben, and that's Ronnie.Hi, Ronnie, how's it going?
Good, how are you?I'm wonderful, wonderful today, because we have a treat.We're doing something unexpected today, which is that we are doing a trailer trash on the new Real Housewives of Beverly Hills trailer that dropped. A few days ago.
I'm so excited.This is basically something we do on our Patreon.We're celebrating getting our Patreon switched over to the new monthly subscription model.It's much easier now.It's super simple.You just go sign up.You pay one month, whatever.
If you're already a member, nothing is affected.You're going to be the same.Everybody else go sign up.It's much simpler than it was.We have finally modernized our Patreon.We're so excited.
thank you patreon for helping us but these are we're going to celebrate that by giving you a freebie because these are normally patreon episodes we do trailer trash shows all the time we're going to be doing another one this week for southern charm so that's where you'll find that one that's also where you find all of our videos
And it's where you find all our bonuses and shit like that.So go over there and do that.Thank you, everybody, for being a member.OK, we love you very much in this economy.Oh, and also for Patreon, sign up on your computer.
Don't go sign up on the Apple iOS app because there are a bunch of assholes and Apple is trying to implement a 30 percent tax on podcasters across the board.So it's not just us, but they are greedy little fucks.They did not make this app.
They do no work for this app.They are a doorway that they are now trying to charge 30 damn percent for.
do avoid that and don't sign up through apple sign up some other way sign up just on a website yes i go to the web page patreon.com slash watch what happens and um that's that and so let's get into this trailer trash bin how are you feeling have you watched the trailer i have you know i you know i can never resist um i watch either peter but i watch it i wish your name was peter because it would rob a cheater it would be easier to call you out on it
I know.I can't help it.I always watch the trailers as soon as they drop, but I don't remember much of it.It was like a haze.I was sitting in a coffee shop watching it on my phone.It was small.
I couldn't hear it very well because I'm not someone who plays his devices without his earphones in public.
And in this case, I was like, I've got to turn the volume up just enough that I can pretty much hear what they're saying, but not enough that I'm disruptive.Because I firmly believe
if you have a device like an iPad or an iPhone or a laptop, there should be headphones that go with it if you're in public.And I'm speaking directly to you, people on airplanes, what the hell is going on with you all?
Since when did you decide that it's just simply acceptable to be watching a movie without headphones on an airplane or have your child play some loud ass dingy dongy game without their headphones on?Absolutely not.You will be shamed by me.
And if you've done this right now, if you're expecting to say, oh, well, you're a good parent, I understand.I do not understand any situation where it's acceptable.It is absolutely wrong.They hand out headphones on the plane. Do anywhere.
I don't care if you're in a restaurant.Don't do it there either.Cover your fucking thing.Or I go, hey, hey, excuse me.I go, excuse me.And then I pointed my ears and they always give a harumph, but they will put in their earphones usually.
And that's even the most offensive thing is that they've already got them.They're just deciding not to use them.I haven't met one yet who said, oh, I don't have them. You know, they've all got them in their pocket.
Where are your fucking headphones, you little bitch?
I know.It actually will sound probably better.And you know what?Like, that's the thing.I hate that they get annoyed.They get angry at us for having a reaction to their bad public etiquette.No.
So if you do this, don't send us a coy little message saying like, I have to admit, I do listen to things without my headphones.You will not get sympathy from us.We will say, you were wrong.
So anyway, I have an ear disease and I can't wear an earbud in my ear because it's the same disease.
Get the fuck out of here with your 2024 trauma about it, too.Stop doing it.That's it.That's the end of it.Now, listen, I'm not even mad today.Ben's mad.I worked myself up.You know why?Let me tell you why I went the best.This is so gross.
Just by the way, everybody, I'm about to gross you out.Fast forward five minutes if you don't want to hear this bullshit.Personally, I don't blame you, but I have to talk about it.So I just moved in to this place I've been redoing, right?
Last night was my first night I slept in there.It was so exciting.And I got to go to the bathroom on my new toilet.Okay.Okay.Toilet or whatever.Like the Japanese toilet, whatever they're called.This thing, I've never been on one of those things.
I did it today and a little thing comes out.You press a button, and a little thing comes out.And when I tell you it plays with your butthole, I mean, it's like a whole circus down.It was like, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo.
It was like a whole staff of people came out and just started tickling my butthole.I started laughing so hard, I woke the dog up.The dog had to come in there. I was like, you won't believe it.
And then I was waiting for it to stop, but it never stopped.I guess you have to press stop for it to stop.I thought it was fine.I got my butt played with and laughed like a, like a crazy person for a good solid couple of minutes.
I've been in the best mood.I mean, I don't even want to go through life anymore.Not getting my butthole played with after I do the thing.Maybe you're a bottom after all.
Ryan discovered he's a bottom.
No, it wasn't sexual.I didn't get a, you know, I didn't get lit or anything like that.I mean, I've just never.Yeah.When I say play with it, cause I know it's like a bidet and I know what a bidet does, you know, it's like a faucet or whatever.
This was not that it was like, it was like the Bellagio found, you know how the, you know how the sprays of water have a choreography.It was doing like figure eight.I think it did my initials.It did like an RK on my butthole.Okay.
I don't know what they're doing over there, but butthole sciences have really come a long way. Okay, I feel like your toilet was doing Megan Draper singing, whatever that song was she sang on Mad Men once.
It was just I felt like it was a gym now.It was like Olympics level gymnastics.It was twirling around.It was spinning on the bars. And let me just tell you, it stuck the landing.Okay, 10 out of 10.Perfect job.Good job, Keri Shrug.I'm in a great mood.
Listen to whatever you want.I don't even care about earbuds today.Just do whatever you want.
I like that my whole rant about earbuds, people not using them when they listen to their device in public, was actually motivated by me acknowledging that I watched the Beverly Hills trailer on my phone in public without headphones.
so like and also you're saying if you if you're listening to this without your earbuds fuck you and also you just played everybody but whole talk so you see that's what happens when you that's what happens look at all the lessons you get on watch it crappens patreon everybody
Exactly.And the reason why I got so triggered and angry is because I was self-loathing my violation of my own etiquette standards.So that is my way of saying, I have seen the trailer, but it was shrouded in shame because I had no earbuds in.
And so I was listening to it very quietly, and it was small.And so I'm ready for a fresh view of it.
A fresh view.OK, well, everybody online is saying, oh, my God, it's the downfall of Kyle.We even had an Instagram post that said that the other day.Now, look, we don't mean it's the final take down.Like, we don't mean this is the end of Kyle.
Like, Kyle's never going to be back on the show.I don't think that.
I mean, although maybe it could happen, because I heard from a Reddit comment, you know, I love me some Reddit, and someone on there said it looks like she's not there after a certain part of the season.
You see her up until a certain, a certain cast trip, so maybe she left early or something.
I can't see Kyle ever leaving, because first of all, the most important thing to her is Morgan Wade at the moment, and she's not gonna, Morgan Wade's probably, I mean, let's face it, probably with her because she's getting publicity.
I didn't know who Morgan Wade was before all this. And why is she gonna let Morgan Wade down?You know, what she got after this, Amazon Live and Morgan Wade.No, I think she'll stay.Oh yeah, she's staying.
Kyle Richards is staying.She knows where her bread is buttered.She's tried to dabble her toe in the world of leaving. by doing such things as appearing in cinematic masterpieces like Halloween and Halloween kills and Halloween has bangs.
But you know, and don't forget diving with the stars.That was pretty good.I thought that was Kim who's on diving with the stars.
I feel like Kyle was on like skating with the stars or some, you know, I don't know, they were on something with the stars.There was also she tried to produce her way like start to, you know, make shows for Spike TV or something.It wasn't Spike TV.
I don't know why I said Spike TV, like the Paramount Network.It wasn't that.I don't know what she was.She made that show with Alicia Silverstone.American Woman.American Woman.
The point is this, she always comes back to Bravo because that's where the heat is.That's where it is for her.
Yeah.Yeah, agreed.They'll take this show out of her cold, dead hands, damn it.She ain't going anywhere.So everybody stop holding your breath.Okay, so let's start the trailer.Here we are.This is Krappen's On Demand as well.
This is a video, so if you want to watch along with us, you can find that at Krappen's On Demand, or a week later for free on YouTube.YouTube.Watch What Krappen's Channel.Okay, let's give this a go.I'm in control of the play button today.
Friendships are not perfect.
Starting off with the first line.Friendships are not perfect.But it looks like it because it looks like we have a Brazilian type Carnival thing maybe going on.
Maybe they're in Brazil. It could just be a Caribbean carnival.Remember, one of my most ignorant moments on this podcast was when Atlanta went to Toronto and they did like a carnival thing.
And I was like, why would you be doing carnival in Toronto of all places?Like go to Brazil, but why carnival?And everyone's like, Ben, there is an enormous Caribbean population up there that does carnival, you idiot.
So I have now learned that this really could be anywhere.If it could happen in Toronto, carnival can happen anywhere.So they are doing carnival somewhere and we'll have to find out where it is.
Well, I just know Carnival.My experience with it is because my parents used to be gambling addicts and they would go to Vegas all the time and blow all of really the country's money, everybody's money.God knows whose money they were blowing.
A lot of money went to those people in Vegas. I remember my dad praying over the craps table, literally leading a prayer at craps.Anyway, and when I first went there, we stayed at the Rio Hotel.My parents were like, this place is amazing.
It was brand new back then.
This is the most amazing place because every hour or something like that, they have a carnival and they traipse through the place dressed like this, like all these ladies in feathers and glitter and there's music and it's like a parade.
Every hour, it's a carnival at the Rio. And my dad was in the middle of all this mayhem praying and holding hands with other people at the craps table, leading a prayer while mayhem was going on around him.And he was just like in a parade of sin.
And I will never fucking forget that visual.So this is what I'm seeing now with all these ladies dancing around.My dad praying to the Lord that he won't lose another hundred grand at the craps table.
My memory of the Rio Hotel, I've only been to the Rio Hotel once.And it's because at that time, which is probably 2006 or so, they were the only gig on the Strip that had a seafood buffet.
And I was like, I'm gonna go to a seafood buffet and eat unlimited lobster and all the oysters I could ever dream of. And so I waited in that line for like 90 minutes, maybe even two hours.Like I waited a very long time.
And I'll tell you that carnival came through.I remember it to this day, waiting for a seafood buffet as a carnival barreled through the casino.And then I got that buffet.And as I was sitting there piling oysters onto my plate, I thought,
Ben, are you really going to do all you can eat oysters at the Rio casino?Like, you could be giving yourself hepatitis right now.And then I freak myself out.
I'll stick with the shrimp cocktail.It's a brave thing to do, but you know, you do it.Okay, let's carry on.
Friendships are not perfect.There are many ups and downs, twists and turns.
Uh-oh.I love when they have that inception.And everybody's giving each other soap opera looks.They're all at a table like, oh, she's a bitch.No, she's a bitch.No, I'm a bitch.And they all look kind of crazy.
They're pretending like they've moved on from Vanderpump, but it looks like Lisa Vanderpump literally came in and, you know, burped on this table because it's all pink.
Which is probably Kyle decorated, let's face it.This is probably a Kyle party, because you know, Kyle is still trying to rob that woman's grave that she dug herself.And Kyle especially is looking pretty evil this season.Let's look at Kyle's face.
Look at that.Kyle's giving a, I've got a new face, new eyebrows, and I'm slitting my eyes viciously at you because I'm Kyle.
Kyle's like, so last season, collars that were plain this season collars that are embellished enjoy my silver tinsel trim everyone and you know who that's just like don't yeah
Morganese of Vanderpump and her magician colors.This is very Lisa.Kyle, you fucking rip off of a person.And whose face is that?Do you even have your own face, Kyle?Come on.By the way, Kyle gets a new face every year.That's her thing.
And I know a lot of housewives get touch-ups.Kyle does not get touch-ups.She literally gets a new face.If you look at Kyle every season, you can tell seasons by Kyle's face.It's like the rings of a tree, you know?
You just cut down the tree, you see different faces for every year, and they always look fantastic.I wish they could do her insides, because goddammit, her outsides are just amazing.
Yeah, she's doing great, great work.I mean, she is.She's halfway to Selena Gomez at this point.
Seriously, they're going to meet in the middle.
Selena's going to go the other way.You know, Selena will have a very dry quip about it.Well, I guess you're me and I'm you.
Wow.Did we switch bodies?Or are you me and I'm you now?Is this figurative or literal?I literally can't.I'm exhausted.Good night.I guess this means I'm a billionaire now.
Dorit is doing that thing that she always does, which I've always loved Dorit.I think Dorit must have wanted to be an actor, because she really does actory things.Like, she always pretends like she just ate something, because she never eats.
You know, Dorit don't eat.And so she's always moving her mouth like she's just swallowed something and is now just like, hmm, let's talk about that, because she doesn't want to look like she does.But look at her do it right now.
She does it in every scene.
Look at all of us, our age, what we're doing.
Okay, let's watch three twists and turns.
I just watched a video last night of a cat like there was a cat that someone was like shining a little laser at the cat and the cat pounce on the laser dot. And then like put its face up against where it thought the laser dot was.
And the cat started acting like it had eaten the laser because it thought it just like the cat had convinced itself, I've caught the laser.And now I'm eating it.So the cat was just sitting there eating it.
I was like, I think that's what Dorit's doing.She's like, right.Excuse me, everyone.I just had the most lovely laser dot.
I'm in my pajamas.They're also by the way in pink sweater Olympics because they're all deciding to wear the pink sweaters in different ways.Erica has hers tied around her neck.
Dorit is using hers like a pashmina and at one point Kyle just has it just on. she decided to give up.
So do you think it's cold outside and they just gave them pink jackets or what?
I think so.Cause you know, people at the other table are also, uh, that looks like there's a pink sweater over there too.I think sweaters are just, there's look, this group is divided between those who are strong and those that need the pink sweater.
Yeah.I think it's when, when it gets cold outside and you're like, I'm cold.And they're like, here's a blanket.I guess they have pink sweaters for everybody.
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Um, so they're at a table, they're all giving each other evil looks and Erica looks so funny preppy like this.Like, who are you?Who are you this season?You know?Um, let's see.Oh, that's Doreen in her carnival.Okay, here we go.
Any ups and downs, twists and turns.Look at all of us, our age and what we're doing.
Everybody on the CCTV are ashamed of themselves.Seriously.
Oh, really, we shouldn't all be ashamed of ourselves, huh, Kyle?
By the way, we are doing a total disservice to this trailer in that we are just not even acknowledging the fact that Jennifer Tilly is not only back, but she's like, oh, I guess I'm really back, so I might as well put on my femme fatale makeup again.
Because she has erected her 90s persona here.And she has her eyebrows arched, and she's about to make some evil offer to you to con someone out of $60,000, but also she's wearing a jacket that has knives and spoons on it too.Isn't that ironic?
Don't you think? I love the glitter spoons and knives.I think it's so funny.
And yeah, I think she was like, well, if I'm a friend of, and you're not going to pay me any money, I'm just going to show up and be nice, but I'm going to be a full-time housewife and you're getting me.
Chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, ch
She just gives that face like, you poor, poor thing.She's just thinking about Crystal.
Remember when Crystal was on the show, guys?She's like, guys, Crystal just texted me again.Oh, should I leave it on red?
So now, Kyle, they're all in bathrobes now at a, this new lady looks interesting.Let's see, what's her name?She looks unhappy at the moment. Everybody gets her big soap opera look, and now she's turning her head, giving her look.
And so Kyle's lecturing everybody, which means Kyle was just called out on something, because when Kyle's called out, she starts crying and then lecturing everybody about being immature, and then she runs away.So let's see that happen.
Everybody, honestly, should be ashamed of themselves.Seriously.
Seriously, you guys.You should be ashamed of yourselves.
Someone called Kyle out on starting shit in their life.And look at Erica.It looks like somebody is trying, it looks like one of her debtors is trying to pull her sunglasses off of her face from behind her.
Like, please!We need to use these lenses.Give me back any money that you took from my family, please!We'll let you keep the frames, but we are going to repo these lenses.Yeah.
Erica's upper lip is now a traffic cone.I'm not really sure what kind of injection is she doing those at home now.What is she doing?
She is doing that thing where she's like, I'm about to give Kyle a very hard truth.And she's like, she's waiting for Kyle for that moment.But she's also being protective of Kyle.She's doing kind of like a bodyguard stance.
Like if anyone wants to attack Kyle, you have to go through me first.
By the way Kyle is being protected by my armpit, and if anybody wants to get Kyle you can talk to the pit boys!
Talk to the pit! So Kyle is having a tantrum.Like you said, she was called out probably about something stupid.Like, Kyle, we saw you got new hubcaps.And she's like, no, I didn't.It was like, you did, we saw you.
It's like, Kyle, I have video surveillance footage of you at the hubcap store.You know what, I'm losing this, guys.I didn't get new hubcaps.
This is an x-ray of Kyle that they're showing just nothing in there.Look, nothing in her head, completely vacant.Okay.And then we're going to go to, um, wait, I like to see what's in these flash forward.
I know they have like Kyle talking about something, they have lightning and you see Kyle with an x-ray face.Um, then, Oh, you see that man.
There it is, Kyle crying about something and yelling at somebody again.Yeah, this is the new spin-off of that movie, Smile.It's just called Kyle.When you see Kyle, you know you've got seven days.
Okay, so let's see here.Now, okay, now Sutton's going on about something.She's very upset because she's doing her hands to her chest.
I am upset.I don't appreciate it.
What'd you say?ABT.I'm on the board of it.Sorry.
bow down at the altar of Kyle Richards.
Oh, hell yeah.Don't bow down at the Isle of Kyle Richards.What even is the, the, what is the altar of Kyle Richards?What is it?
What do they worship?It's just Lisa Vanderpump's swing set that she made her own.Guys, I found this.
It's just knockoff props and costumes from, you know, shows.Yeah.
to bow down at the altar of Kyle Richards.
You think I'm some... I love how this dope makes it look like Kyle Richards is a movie star.Every time I watch this, I'm like, oh my God, what film is Kyle in?It's a stretch.
Yeah, she's getting out of it.Like, oh my God, she's taking photos.Look, she's at like a stretch, a step and repeat that's like three feet long.This step and repeat is as big as the one step and repeat we bought
In one of our very early live shows, we bought a step-and-repeat and put it in the lobby of the theater.It was like a single-use step-and-repeat, because we could never use it again.
And it was tiny, and that's the size of the one that Kyle is on right now.
She's at a movie premiere, but it's a GLAAD thing, because GLAAD just takes every housewife at this point.That's all GLAAD really is anymore.They're like, you know what, we're GLAAD about housewives.
We're just going to have a whole fundraiser and have housewives come out.And you know what?I think they're speaking to their people.We love you, GLAAD.
But it's not like the Viper Room, though.You see the Viper Room as, look, there's the Viper Room.So what is this GLAAD fundraiser happening at the Viper Room?I don't understand it.
Well, it's for Posse, whatever Posse is.
I can't tell you this, this lady needs a different outfit.This lady near the red carpet, she's wearing, I think it's a crazy night, it's like leather and, what is it, like leather punk or, it's like Rock of Love, maybe, that they're going for?
Watch it turn out to be Alexia.Maybe, but she's dressed like the nanny.
She's wearing like a leather jumper, like short, short jumper, and then a leopard jacket, it was very tacky, but I'm not sure, you know, but the guy behind them's wearing a pimp, he's wearing like a pimp fur, so.
Well, you know, it's just funny to me because Kyle loves to deny that she's in any sort of clique, and yet here she is on the red carpet for something called Bozzie.
Yeah, that's funny.Okay, ready?
You think I'm some f***ing idiot?
Well, you've got a record on your head currently.I mean, you look like the solar system. She looks like she was wearing a black beret to burgle something, but then tried to go through a ceiling made out of records.What are you doing?
I feel like if you hung her upside down and rotated her, you could get a nice draft in your room.She's literally a ceiling fan.
She looks like a waiter tray that's spilling over.Like your hat can't even, your hat doesn't even have any grace of service.
Come on.Is this like a silly hat party?Because look at the person in the background there wearing like a, like an oversized thimble on their head.It's covering their whole eyes.
They can't even see.It's pulled down all the way to their nose.I think it's Erica.Yeah. So yeah, they're having fun stuff.And then Kyle's dressed like a Vanderpump tree, that Vanderpump, another pink thing.This is crazy.
She's literally dressed like Vanderpump's backyard.
Kyle is doing something that's like semi, like Japanese, semi Vanderpump, like her, she's got branches in her hair.I'm just like, what, what sort of Miyazaki nightmare is she doing right now?
I'm excited for this party.This looks really fun, this party.So she's getting told out.So she thinks Dorit's in it.Dorit, everyone thinks you're an idiot.
Weren't you the one who changed your story 10 times last year about how you were walking through a Marshall's?Oh, no way.A HomeGoods?Oh, no way.A Target?Oh, no way.
And then somebody stalked you for the $10,000 you just happened to pick up and you're, Dorit, get the fuck out of here, still.
That being said, I do like Dorit's hat, even though it does look like a giant record.It's a good callback to the 1980s.
I like Dorit and her hat.Just to be incredulous that people think you're a dummy is hilarious.You think me, Dorit Gimsley, is stupid?Where are we?Is this a restaurant or a backyard?I can't really tell.Do you remember getting here?
I don't even remember driving, Coyle. Oh, that's my favorite Kyle look of incredulousness incredulity.What's the word?
I think it's incredulousness.Now I'm okay.I'll look it up.I'll look it up.
I want it to be incredulousness.You are showing a lot of incredulity, Ben.It is incredulousness.
Let's see if incredulity is actually... It doesn't sound right, right?I like incredulity more.That is a lot of incredulity.Me too.Oh, no.Can we just make it happen?Incredulity is a thing.You know what?
I think incredulity... So incredulousness, when I typed it in, Google AI responded with a definition, but when I typed in incredulity, then Merriam-Webster responded.So I'm going to go with Merriam-Webster in honor of Jackie.Me too.
Okay, so this is my favorite look of Kyle incredulity, where she's like, I'm going to look to the side dramatically.Oh, can anyone believe that?They're like, oh my God, that tree's about to attack me.Please help me.
It's like the Wizard of Oz sequel.Okay.You ready?Yes.
I'll be trying to get you to stop talking so that you can listen to us.
And Camille's like, well, I'm just trying to follow the story that's happening here.
Yeah, you're trying to follow the storyline because there's a storyline about two ladies and they're fighting right now.So you want to see who's going to win the fight, huh?
How the fight's going to... So upsetting.
We're trying to talk, but you won't shut the fuck up!Would you mind?Idiot!Kyle!
If you listen to us, we don't need you to make this group exist.Let us...
Oh, they're gonna try and have a break off with Kyle because Kyle has been Quinn Queen being this shit for too long as she finally pushed the wrong lady.She's too far sentence already rich.
She doesn't care.And they're all mad because Kyle is not being upfront about what's going on in her life.I am I imagine although we don't we can't sense that that's what the fight is about.But that's what poisoned this situation, I believe.
And Erica has the look of someone who's, who's bet on the wrong horse again, because she had Lisa Rinna and now she's been trying Kyle and she's just losing everybody.She's losing everybody at this point.
They're coming, they're coming after every one of her buddies.Erica has gotten some skin, some skin sanding done, and she looks like a doorknob.Look how smooth her skin is.I want that skin.How do I look like a doorknob?
Erika and Garcelle are currently on a sprinter van, and they are passing another bus on the highway.And Erika has a look on her face like they just told her, guess what?You have to reenact the scene in Speed where you climb from one bus to another.
She's like, wait a second.
I thought we were going on a trip.
Like, no, that other bus.
How much do I get paid for that shit?
Oh, then we get a super clip.Erika, you'll be playing Squid Games.
What? That's not fair.They've got 19 arms or something bullshit like that.Better not be cards and juggling.Red light, green light.More like, go fuck yourself, all the lights.Not guilty, bitch.
So this is Erica in close-up.She's incredulous, too, because she's getting called out as well.And we can tell because look at all of the shots of Erica.
quick shots of Erica and quick flashes, x-ray shot.And then, um, wait, where's the other one?Who's she yelling at?Oh, in this scene in the, she's giving it to somebody in this scene.Oh yeah.Give it.She's yelling at Sutton, I guess.Yeah.Okay.
Let us join our palms together.I really hope that this ribbon does what Sutton's intending for it to do.And if not,
They all have their hands in the center, like they're about to play a soccer game, and they put a blue sash, like a satin sash ribbon over all their hands.This is back at the Lisa Vanderpump table.
And it looks like they're making a pledge to be better girlfriends to each other.I don't know what this ribbon is supposed to do, but if it involves anything, Like having Kyle speak truthfully about her life, that would be a miracle.
Yeah, well, there they are doing the ribbon and Dorit is saying, if this is supposed to do anything, what Sutton thinks this ribbon is going to do?What does Sutton think it does?Maybe it'll invoke Eagle Woman.
I've taken this off of a dead instructor that I had who taught me flower growing in kindergarten.
And now we shall finally release the blue ribbon.So they're all doing it.
If I can save it in case I need to strangle one of these ladies.
We are now sisters forever.
Kyle's like, oh yeah?Well, you know what I do to my sisters, don't you?I know, exactly.Kyle will get newer Bridgerton sisters.OK, look, we have to concentrate on Kyle's face for a minute. First of all, gorgeous lady.
I'm never going to say anything other than that because she is a gorgeous lady.I'm just looking here at work, specifically work, because everybody knows I've really gotten into this shit lately and I will be getting work.
So I'm trying to decide what I need to do.So I'm not even judging the work.Get your work.Here's my question. Did she get her nose holes done?Those nose holes are new.That's not the same nose hole.What did they do to those nose holes?
Someone any but any professional please tell me what's happening.Why would you do that to your nose hole?Why do we need reshaped nose holes?Is that a new trend?New nose hole shaping?I want new nose hole shapes.I'm gonna look at mine right now.
I've got my car so I got my Oh, your noses.
I like my nose hole.Your nose is perfectly fine.I feel like we both have pretty good noses.
in my nose you know i don't i don't know my nose is like neither fine or it's fine you know it's fine you know whatever my nose but How's my nose?Hold on, I'm still staring at mine.I wanna know about my nose holes.
Let me tell you, I've never had confidence or a lack of confidence about nose holes, but now I'm extremely confident in my nose holes.I have a really good nose hole.Let me see yours.
Here's my nose holes.I used to be very paranoid about the fact that I have this chin that comes forward and meets my nose, see?My chin and my nose are on the same plane, and I always felt like it made me look like
you know, that little moon that would come out and sing for McDonald's.But now I've decided I'm just like used to it, and I don't care anymore.And I'm like, you know, it's kind of like, I got a little wedge.
I can put a little, I can put a minimum on it.
Stay focused.We're talking about nose holes.Nose.Oh, you want to see my nose holes?Yeah, I think they're fine.You've got nice nose holes.Okay, so that's my question.
Like, do I need the actual shape of my nose?I feel I feel pretty good about the shape of my nose.
Me too, but we're talking about nose holes, goddammit.I need to know specifically where nose holes are coming from.Is it a new trend or not?So I've got very nice nose holes.I think I'm winning the nose hole game there.
I'll leave it at that.Okay, we have nose hole high body positivity.
Yeah.Okay, now Kyle on the other hand, here I'm gonna take a screenshot because I really need to study this after the recap. Okay, I'm going to put that on my phone.So the next time I'm waiting in line, I'm just going to look at it.
I'm going to see if maybe I need a new nose hole.Okay, let's connect the dots.
This season on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
Fun and games.There's a giant beach ball.Girl on girl make out. playing on a beach.
Pretending like they're having the best time ever.Yeah.Oh, I'm fast forwarding to say, Okay, we don't have to watch all the trailer. Oh, I will never get used to the scrolling on.
So the there looks like they've got hopped into some tiny cars drive along.Is that Santa Monica or maybe they're in Santa Barbara?They could be in Santa Barbara.Like why would they go to Santa Monica to do this?
I know to me it just looks like the West Side.
But are they in Hummer golf carts?Is that what they're like?
Yeah, they're like golf carts that have made they're made to look sort of like hummers.But I don't know.Or maybe they are hummers.
I think they are either way.
They look like they're in Santa Monica like I don't understand.OK, here's what I'm going to say.There is probably like a beach picnic and they have to arrive and take these little cars down to the beach and they're going to take that one road down.
down to the PCH.Oh, and there's Erica on another round bed with the leap blower.
The leap blower's coming out.She's never given that one up.Now she's just covered her whole damn face with glitter.Glitter mask.She's like, listen, I can't afford the nose hole surgery.It's been a rough few years over here.Just get a mask.
Just get a Phantom of the Opera mask from the Halloween store.Let's do this.
Get out the leaf blower, Mikey, and repurpose the bed that we've been using for 19 years.Get it gold this time, all right?
I honestly, I can't get over that leaf blower in the background.I don't know why.
Like, I understand they have to use fans to make hair blow, but there's something about a leaf blower in the middle of this music video that just feels so much like, uh, do we have anything?
Can someone like, does anyone have a leaf blower on production?We ran out of our budget.
I feel like they probably do that a lot, huh?The leaf blower.It actually looks like she's making some kind of an OnlyFans for people who are really into landscaping.You wanna see me get leaf blown?
You know what I like about Erica?That as a pop star, she's decided I don't have to change my schtick after nine years.I can just do the same thing over and over and over again.Why should I follow the rules of pop music?
She's like the opposite of Madonna.Remember how Madonna had like a new thing for every time she came out with something?
She's like, I'm going to do the same old thing.
You know, good for her.You know, I enjoy someone who just rolls around in the mediocrity.Like, you know what? Why get better?Why?Why bother?
Yeah, I mean, like, you know, whoever said that the way to succeed in music is to always be updating your sound because people get bored of listening to the same thing over and over again.
She's shown us that no, you can have the same look and the same music and the same schtick year in, year out, and you will still be at the top of someone's chart.
No, I think it's just because you can do the same thing and get the same results, which, you know, I mean, how grand are the results?Let's be honest.
Where do you ever see Erika Jayne besides the show, frolicking around on a rental round bed with a leaf blower up her ass?I mean, come on.Good luck to you, though.I wish you the best.Okay, we've seen this.
So now Garcelle's doing some kind of a boudoir shot. not sure.
She's doing something.She's modeling.All I know is I don't see any leaf blowers.But something there is wind though.I actually afford a fan.
Okay, lots of white cars and the giant beach ball.That's hilarious.Oh my god.gay carrying around Sutton.
I'm assuming yeah, I don't know maybe a boat guy could boat captain looks like they're on a boat.It's probably one of those captains with like Hi, Captain Peter.So Sutton is being carried around though, and someone's wearing a bucket.
Oh, that must be Kathy wearing a bucket hat.
Oh yeah, Kathy's back.And then we've got Kyle, who's like, I'm a cowboy now guys, because I'm kind of a lesbian possibly, and I have a house where people wear cowboy hats.
So here I am riding a bull.Like a black latex bull.It's like a bull by way of alien.
Yeah.It's a black shiny bowl.Okay.She's doing pretty well on that boat.Look at her go.Yeah.
Well, she goes to the gym every day.So also it's a well-known fact that like mechanical bowl operators are much, much easier on women than they are on men.That's just the way it goes.
Oh yeah, men just get all the breaks in this world.I mean, women get all the breaks.
The number one most discriminated group in America these days are men.
It's just so difficult, guys.Women get everything.Yeah, obviously not true.
Okay, so this is the best setting here we've ever seen right here.So that's good.You like it?Pretty hair.Yeah, very pretty hair.And then Erica makes out with Garcelle.Oh, yeah, that's exciting.Anybody gets that?Three space.
I love with three eyes pop out.
Gee, gee, they're lesbians.
Oh, so why didn't you tell me coil?
Are we close?Are we not close?Gracelle's getting drunk.
Great.This is them trying to convince us that they are they just have fun.Wacky times on this show.Yeah.
Erica looking stunning in her carnival.Yeah.Dorit trying on the Kathy Hilton bucket hat.Yep. Uh, Kathy Hilton driving around in her convertible with tons of luggage in the back.Yep.Wackily.
And the new lady, the new lady in a wedding dress of some sort.
You can't wear anything that people have seen you in it.That's the kiss of death in Beverly Hills.
Those is the real deal.She's the boss.
Here's to say those is the boss goes, he's the real deal.So I said it.
Yeah, is she a celebrity?She looks like she's walking into room and like, is she like a talk show host or something?What is her story?She's like walking into a room and there's like lots of women on their feet cheering her on.
And she's got a microphone.Yeah, with big speakers.So I don't know.Yeah, it looks like some kind of speaker.Okay, our show BH does a lot of photo shoots.We've seen her doing a lot of photo shoots in this preview.So missing john and
Okay.Wait, she graduated Wesleyan in 1999?I bet she knows my friend.I have a friend who graduated in the same year. Please hold everyone.
So her whole story is she moved to Ghana, from Ghana to Colorado at the age of 12, graduated from Wesleyan University at 1999.And according to our website, Bose has served as global CMO of Netflix, the CMO of Endeavor,
the CBO of Uber, the head of marketing at Apple Music and iTunes, and the head of music and entertainment marketing at Kappa.What the hell was she doing here?Did she realize?You should not be on this show.
You were way too smart and accomplished, Bose.Get the hell out of here. Shoo!Shoo!
You're too smart!No!Ma'am, you are officially over-qualified for this job.I'm very sorry.Wow, that's incredible.So actually, I'm kind of pissed off at her about the Apple tax, right?Can we talk to her about it?Who can we complain to?
So she is an author and created the Badass Workshop, which strives to empower women by expanding their boundaries for career, health and wellness, lifestyle, relationships, goals, and so much more.This is like, this is like blown away.
Look at these ladies.Look at these ladies.Oh my God, my boundaries are so fucking expanded.
I feel like we never get on these shows women who have been really active in corporate America.What we have are
Maybe some women who have worked and have had business, a lot of times they've done real estate or they have a skincare or they have things that would be like on Shark Tank.
But we never actually have women who are just like, yeah, I put in some serious time in corporate America like this.And it's funny because we have Bronwyn who used to work in finance.So now we have Bose.I am gobsmacked by this.
I thought she was gonna be like, oh, I... I have a makeup line or this or that, you know, so this is wild.
You love a smart corporate person.
I do.Because corporate assholery is also very special.And it's exciting to know we might be getting that on this show.
Yeah, so time will tell.Looking good so far.Let's see.
She's the boss.Cheers to St.Lucia.
Okay, well that answered that question there at St.Lucia.Okay.
It's her little Chucky doll.I guess that's the voice.Is that me?Is that Avi in the?No, it's not.That is a totally different person.Yeah, it is.I don't know what's going on.I think it's, I think it's Ozempic Avi.Is it Ozempic Avi?
Well, Garcelle.Garcelle.Yeah, I think. Oh, that is Sutton.Okay, that's Ozempic, obviously.Wow, I am, I've clearly been, like this, honestly, this Bo's News, I can't even focus anymore.I'm like, I can't even tell who's who, what's what.
I don't even trust my eyes in judgment anymore.
So Garcelle broke her Birkin cherry, and now, is that a Birkin?I don't know.I don't know if my gays are, my gays are high enough.I don't know if my eyes are gay enough to really tell a Birkin right off the bat, but that is a Birkin, right?
I don't have Berkandar yet.Berkandar.So for some reason, Sutton is driving a U-Haul.
Nobody knows, but she can't like fun games.It has to be fun to move like like a chair.
I got you. Well, why don't they call these things our house cuz you don't do it I do it Alright, let's see Are you married?
Uh, not this week me neither.Oh my god.Look who it is.Oh My god I got all these designs in Inja.I was trying to come up with a new design, a fresh and easy.Let me tell you, you have time checking out yourself.
The fresh and easy callback.
Not the first time I've checked myself out.I do have a mirror on my ceiling.
Here's what we're going to do for your new home.We're going to put stripes, then polka dots, and then some sort of Eastern Asian design on the ceiling.
oh my god look there's someone handsome standing right beside me it's me hello me reflection i love that he's on here me neither let me see i missed the line because i was so excited to see are you married uh not this week
Me neither.Beverly Hills is the place where marriage has come to death.
We are not supposed to laugh at that part when she's like, me neither.You're supposed to be like, oh, he's like, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
He's laughing because she's like, oh, I'm flirting with Martin.Lord, Lord, it's been on now.Yeah.He's very gay.
It was just a cultural juggernaut, wasn't it?
Oh, whatever.She is she is his ex making out with some child.Why is it different for her?That's so crazy.Get the fuck out of here.I don't see Mauricio going around crying because she's making out with the child.
And I think hers is way younger than his, right?
Well, I don't remember how old Mauricio's lady is.But
Maybe that's why Kyle is being secretive about Morgan Wade, so that way she can still have the upper hand and say, it's just so hard to see you making out with someone else, because this way she can say, I keep mine behind closed doors.
Whatever, you've been parading your piece of ass around for over a year already, OK?I mean, come on.Fairness here.Let's be fair here, OK?This whole, like, whatever Mauricio did to me, you've been cheating on him on camera, ma'am, OK?
We've been here for the ride.Let's see.
It sucks to see your photo.So Sutton's saying, file for divorce.File, Kyle, file.
No, she's talking about the mail in Kyle's kitchen.You need to file that away.The stack is too big, Kyle.
She's talking about her manicure.She's like, Kyle, those fingers.Morgan's 20, you're not.Please file, Kyle.
Can we file off some of those tattoos also?
Yeah, I was like, look, I have another deep tattoo.This one says 18.Wait, does that say 18?
I think her tattoo says, hats are kind of my thing.
I'm really into $1,000 hats.Also, while I'm talking about Kyle's work, I was gonna say while we are, but I know it's just me, she had a hand resurfacing as well.You know, Kyle, a lot of people give her shit for her hands on the internet.
How do you get, I didn't know you could get hand skinned.No, no, that's not a new hand.No, that's a hand stand in.Someone is under that table, putting her hand up through a hole.She's resting her head on someone else's hand.
That is not Kyle's hand, and also Kyle would never put her hand like that.That's her alter hand.She would never do it.
Well, a job's a job.Humble pie's delicious, isn't it?I had to come crawling back.Quite literally, I had to crawl under this table and stick my hand up that hole.
I was like, there are not enough doctors in Beverly Hills to hold up my face.Get me somebody death threat.
I'll literally do it.Just please put me back on 10-8.Things have been, things have been strained for the past few years.So yes, I will do this.
By the way, what a delicious piece of lemonade. Oh, that's like a mojito or something.
I think Cal doesn't drink.You may have forgotten Cal doesn't drink anymore.Did you not watch any of last season where she always told everyone I don't drink anymore.
She changes every week. So who knows what she's doing now?She said she wasn't sober.She was just not drinking for the moment or whatever.So maybe.
Oh, look, this is Kyle enjoying the caress of Carlton's fist.She's like, you know what?If I had known all these years that Carlton had such soft fingers, I would have been so much nicer to her.She's like.
All right.It sucks to see your photos of your ex making out with some child.I like it more.
Look at Mauricio consoling Kyle.He's looking around like, how long do I have to hug my ex for?I'm done with it.
He's like, hi, you left me, OK?You left me for getting it.Now see, here's the thing with this whole story.It's that Kyle's so secretive that I can't even know what side to be on.
Because if Mauricio cheated on her, then of course, get the fuck out there and do whatever, you know?But we don't know, because no one will tell us anything on this goddamn show.
And I'm not going to suffer through their terrible other Netflix show, which Luckily for America was canceled.I shouldn't say that because maybe people liked it.I don't know.I'd watch that one. I tried to watch that one.I couldn't do it.
So that show, you're not going to make me watch that tripe to get an answer.And I don't know, but his face is like, you left me.You can't sit here and cry that somebody kissed me at an airport.Get the fuck over yourself.
But based on his midlife crisis beads around his neck, I would actually say that kind of moves the needle towards Kyle.I'm like, you know what, Kyle, you made the right choice.He's, he's entering his, his, his, uh, his older man jewelry phase.
It's, it's time to move on.
Well, she's in her pleather, you know, you know, dating a child, dating a young cowgirl.So, I mean, I don't know which is worse.Hers is more stylish.I think hers is more stylish.His is like sad and cliched.
But I will say, I think Mauricio looks great at this age, because you know, there was like a Rocky getting into Senior Citizen, the Senior Citizen era from middle, you know, he went from like the sexiest househusband of all time.
And then people like, Oh, he's gross now for a couple of years.And now he's like, past that hump, or he's now officially older.And I think he looks better older.What do you think?I think he went from a C-C-R-P to an A-A-R-P.
I can't get over the words.
Are they beads or is it a chain?Whatever it is.It's like when Harrison Ford at age 68 decided to pierce his ear.It's like, no, I know you're dating Calista Flockhart.Let's not pierce the ear. Let's not.Let's not do this, Mauricio.Let's not.
You run a giant real estate company.Let's get it together a little bit.
Yeah, they're like golden beads.Yeah, let's get rid of some of that Callista, Flockhart, Ally McZeal, okay?
Let's get this whole Calista, Flockhart influence you have going on here, Mauricia.Let's do without it, okay?Boz, get in there, use your CMO work on him, because he needs some CMOing at the moment.All right, let's see what's up.
Now she's looking at him like, why are you being so mean to me?Why are you being so mean to me?
It's too much all at once.
Of course. We're talking like five times a day.
I know, but we're not going to.
You're a whole peak is like, I'm not going to talk to you anymore.Do you understand?I'm thinner now.And I've got spiky bangs.You think I'm not?I literally left my wife and child for you.
And now I'm going to leave you literally for no reason.You're that annoying.Goodbye.
Durita, I'm afraid to tell you you've been replaced by Brenda Blethen. in Peter Pan the Pantone.She turns out that when she gets a pie in the face, she cries so deeply that the entire audience is brought to their knees.
So unfortunately, you'll have to stay here for the second season of it.
Actually, while I've mentioned it, babe, My face has been replaced with Brenda Blethyn as well, so I hope you don't mind right now.
You'll be getting dumped by Brenda Blethyn, officially at least.
To quote Brenda Blethyn, I'm terribly sorry.There must be some sort of mistake.Now apply that as if we're talking about the marriage.Okay, Doreen.Nice knowing you.
But Doreen's like, what are you talking about, PK?We're not even broken up.We're talking five times a day.He's like, I'm cutting off your cricket.
Oh.Yeah.I know, but we're not going to.
You're angry and you're not angry at me.You're angry at your life.You're volatile.
Oh God, you know, Erica was so excited to say volatile because, you know, when Erica's angry, she loves a syllable.You are volatile.Volatile.Yeah.
Dorit has now taken over the Kyle Richards felt hat thing. Yeah, so both things can be true.You can be sad about your life.And don't pretend you're not, Erica.We just saw you on your rental bed with the leaf blower up your ass, okay?
We just saw you shooting a music video with the leaf blower.Let's not pretend everything's okay.And you are volatile, ma'am, Sutton.So you're both right, you know?So that was easy.
God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason.Can you let me talk?It's okay, Kyle.It's time for you to f***ing listen.
Oh, yes, Dorit.Yes.God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason.Really?What's that?The ears are to hear you, and the mouth is to say, fuck off, Kyle.Okay?But my mouth is four.Look, my hands can do it too.
The things that can tell you to fuck off on my body are more than the things that have to listen to you.So I'm going to go with the numbers here.Fuck off.
Kyle's like, God gave you two ears and a mouth for a reason, and gave me two ears and a mouth and bangs for a reason, so fuck off, Dorit.
God gave you two ears and a mouth, and he's given me approximately 37 ears and six mouths.And a recurring role in the Halloween franchise. And actually four hands, because now I've got two brand new ones.These are amazing.
When did they come up with fucking hand surgery?Read these nostrils and weep, bitch.
Or have some body parts, because that really opens this discussion up.
One mouth for a reason.Can you let me talk?It's okay, Kyle.It's time for you to fucking listen.
Kyle?Don't hold me.PK, Texas work.
Did she say Texas?Yeah, that's what people say.Because you're not supposed to say texted.I get back in the old days when texting first came out, texted didn't make sense.But now text is an actual thing that you do, and I think texted works.
Oh, I thought she said Texas, like she was saying present tense.She said PK Texas Kyle.So that's like he was texting Kyle.
Kyle told me PK Texas worked.
Why is it so weird that PK texts Kyle, their friend?I don't think that's weird.
He's a man, man texting with women.No, say it ain't so.What kind of world are we living in?
But we have some people, you know, like a cabaret. Yeah, here we have some people.And the DJ, like, let's stand in a circle and drop straps.DJ hit it.
What more do you want from me?I want you to stop.No, no.
Yes, Doreen gets up against the table and goes for Kyle.I love to see it.And Kyle's putting her hand in her face.No, Kyle, that's just not going to work anymore, ma'am.I love look at all these hands and faces.Yeah, Kyle's in camera mode.
They added this like rainbow filter, but the rainbow filter is kind of funny because it sort of depicts what happens when Kyle changes her face.Like the mask comes off and then they swap a new one on.It's like Legos.It's like mid transition.
It's being replaced mid scene.
I want to make a painting of this.
This is a cool shot.Okay.Very psychedelic. Also, I love that they threw in a breaking glass sound effect, as if they would ever break a glass on this show, except for Lisa Rinna.
Yeah, Lisa Rinna would.I'm getting just different screenshots of this to send into my Shutterfly, so I can make some office art.Okay, let's see here.
I'm done with this!I'm done!
I'm done!I'm done with this shit!I'm so done!
I'm done.I'm not doing this anymore.Damn.Where the hell is she going?
So Boze has one line and she's already won me over.Yeah.That's all I needed.Damn.
Where the hell is she going?
Yes!So there's Kyle storming out in a bathrobe and getting into a black car, slamming the door behind her.And interestingly, Kyle is not the center this year.
It is, in fact, Erika Jayne, kind of, mostly, including with Marcel.
Also, interestingly, is this the first time we've... Well, this may just be the cast photo, because normally we're not seeing anyone actually standing.This is just them all splayed out in old Hollywood glamour, which is It's a great photo, actually.
Yeah, it's a good photo.It's not real.I mean, it looks like one of those things where at a fair where there's like holes and then you stick your head through the hole to take a picture.Yes.
Much like Carlton's hand coming up through the table.
I'm not sure what this is supposed to be, but it's looking fun.I'm actually really, really glad that this show is coming back.It should be a super fun season.Of course, Bravo is doing this weird thing to us this year.
I don't know if you checked out the schedule, but they're putting everything on right before the holidays.So I guess there's not going to be any break this year, which well sucks.
Well, we'll figure it out because we know what. There will be a break.There will be a break.We will be taking the week between Christmas and New Year's off, whether there's Beverly Hills or not.
So that's for sure.There will be blood, people.All right, everybody.Thank you so much for joining us for this free Patreon bonus.Go sign up, guys.Let's make it Patreon season.We sure love you, and we will talk to you next time.Bye, everybody.Bye.
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