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You start with the same cute face every time.It's really cute.
because I never know when you're going to start.I know.
What's up, everybody?Welcome back to Couple Things.
Today's topic is reacting to worst dates part two.
That's right.We did this once.We're going to do it again because we've got so many submissions.We asked you on Instagram to share your worst date stories.And boy, tragic is the word that comes to mind.Tragic, tragic experiences here.
Before we jump into it, let's go through some life updates.What is happening in our world right now?
You know what?It was a fantastic weekend this past weekend.
I feel like a lot to answer your question briefly, but we had my brother and his wife and four kids came down and visited us.We had the IndyCar race here in Nashville.
We still have our best friends living with us with their two kids.
Sean had a surprise birthday dinner for me last night.
We fired up the grill.Yeah, it was fun.That's right.Feels like a big year.This feels like the last big year for a while.
We're in the middle of school shopping.Is that how you would call it?
Yeah, basically touring all the schools in Nashville and Franklin and Brentwood and like surrounding areas trying to find the best school for our kids for elementary.
I admire this about you.You're very worked up about it.Very worked up.I maintain the belief that we are not gonna make a wrong choice.There are plenty of good schools.
And honestly, the kids kind of just end up being who they are and doing what they're gonna do.For sure.I don't feel that stressed about it, but I'm glad that you're stressing for us. But you're crushing that.
Yeah, we got schedules and meetings for that.We're having fun with our interview show.So we had two of those last week.Oh my gosh, we did the Blue Angels last week.Sean had a call.She did a live Zoom with SpaceX while these astronauts were in space.
That was one of the coolest things I've ever done in my life.
Also the Blue Angels.I did not puke and I did not pass out.Though it was so physically challenging.
You said it was one of the harder physical challenges.
Why?I think a couple of things.One, if you are seasoned and used to that, I can see how you would gain a rhythm of understanding what to do.But I'm also just now starting to work out again and gain my muscle back.
The amount of effort it took to stay in a full body flex and breathe through all the Gs, through all of the maneuvers that we did, was really difficult.Because if you didn't do a full body flex and breathe through it, you would immediately pass out.
Some highlights, Shawn experienced 7.7 Gs.So 7.7 times the force of gravity.
Which is crazy.I would like to experience that as well.
That was the one that rocks your stomach.And how many knots? 680.
It was nuts.Really fun experience.
I grew up drawing pictures of the, I saw the Blue Angels maybe when I was like eight.And so I used to draw the side profile of the Blue Angels on our driveway in chalk, just like for years I did that.So that was really fun to kind of meet the pilots.
Now that I'm a pilot, I was like, it's kind of like, oh yeah, you're a pilot?You fly F-16?Yeah, so do I. I'm a pilot too.A little slightly different.
My life's mission is to get you in a Blue Angel.
I don't really feel the need to, but I appreciate that.
Okay, great.I will probably pass out.
Just so we can relate to it.
Yeah, I'm not opposed, but I'd probably pass out.They say that the taller you are, the more you struggle because the blood column is what they say.
But my pilot was your height.
I was taller.I was taller.
This week we also have our best friends moving out.
And then we have a band coming to stay with us.
Yes.Because it's the Hotel East.
That's right.Shout out Brothers Fountain.Sean and Drew are going to Dancing with the Stars.Premier.I can't wait.
Wait, can I give a quick highlight of what the day is going to be about?
These are extensive updates, but I'm here for it.
We're going to get on a plane.We're going to land, waiting at the house that we're staying at.I'm beyond showering, spoiling Drew this trip.So yes, I know this is extreme.
She's going to have four dresses waiting on the bed with high heels and accessories.
You did not tell me that part.
So wear that to Dancing with the Stars.We're gonna have lunch, we are going to get our nails done, we're gonna get our hair and makeup done, and we're going to go to the show and just be so girly and over the top, which is her thing and vibe.
I was showing her a couple clips of Dancing with the Stars, not myself, but just Dancing with the Stars, and she's so excited.
She's at a great age where she can sit through extended periods of time.She sat through church the other day, like big girl church, which was fun.Um, and I think it'll be a delightful experience.
We're trying to do mommy daughter time, daddy, daughter, time, father, son, time, father, daughter, time, mommy, son time.
Did I say that?Yeah.I don't know.
I'm trying to, um, so I'm excited for that.Oh, and then, uh, I have a CrossFit competition this weekend.Wish me luck.We've become in second, the last couple of years determined to win it.
You've come in second to last?
No, second the last couple of years.
I just wanted to clarify.
And then, um, well, we had an awesome charity event last week that we met some new friends at.
Yeah. Okay, there we go, there's the updates.If you don't have anybody to share your updates with, well, we would love to hear them, all that to say.So back to our episode of reacting to worst states.
So we did a part one, but the way this came to be is we just asked Instagram to share your bad experiences, and you definitely delivered.We had a lot of submissions, which is why we broke this up into two pieces.Also, if you don't follow,
Sean Instagram would highly recommend it.She's hilarious on there And we also have a podcast and Anders.
Yeah, our podcast Instagram is at Sean in Andrew pods It's a longest handle it is it's weird.Yeah, but we had to because we have a couple things We have second cop and we have redirected.
Are you glad we're doing the interviews again?
I do too, I do too.But, alas, here we go.You ready to dive into these?
I am, do you wanna go first or me?
Yeah, here we go.The first story for our part two worst dates is, and I quote, I get to the restaurant ready to have a good time with my date.We sit down at the table and he only asked the server for one menu.
I'm thinking, okay, fun, we're gonna share a meal.Nope, turns out he packed his own dinner, brought it to the restaurant, and I was gonna be the only one to order food.
He said he was about to go to a bodybuilding competition, but I did not know this until after we sat down at the restaurant.It was bizarre.Interesting.
Let's pause, we've done this whole episode.
I know, and we didn't record it.Yeah, remember that?
So maybe we can keep this in.We did record this episode, and we're gonna give you our second time reactions, because we did not record it the first time.
Do you wanna make sure we're recording?I did, I double checked.
Yeah.What are your thoughts on that though?Because I kind of respect the guy's diligence.I think the communication could have been a little better of like, hey, I wanna take you to dinner, but here's a caveat.What do you think?
I think if he packed his own meal, brought it to dinner, doing the whole body building thing, Totally fine.But you need to for sure explain that before you're there, so it's not just like a random weird thing on a first date.
Your restaurant etiquette is different than mine.And I feel like if I first met you and I did this, I think quirky restaurant behavior, you would be totally out.
Yeah.Why do I have weird?No, no.
I'm saying like if a server came and saw that I had a lunchbox on the table, you would be super embarrassed.
You know, if it was like a first date and I didn't understand why.Yeah.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying, this is a first date.
I also think on a first date, like, yeah.If you're gonna do the whole lunchbox thing, you should've taken her on a picnic.
Gosh, but we've seen, we've been to a bodybuilding competition, we went to the Arnold Classic in, where is that, Columbus?
And you go to these restaurants, all these restaurants have like, Boiled chicken.It's chicken, and is it just rice?
Rice.And everyone's eating that.
Yeah, that's it, it's like grilled chicken and rice, and it's a fancy restaurant.
Couldn't you also just go to the restaurant and order plain chicken and rice?
Yeah, but they still do seasoning on I know it's a whole thing.I always consider that a beige flag It sounds like he could amp his communication up a little bit.
You know, that's not a red flag to me Yeah, it would also make it really hard for the the girl to like feel comfortable just kind of ordering anything Yeah, cuz it's not like you're sitting down for a glass of wine or like yeah You should definitely let her know ahead of time.
I agree.I agree.I So just so you know, our rating system is red flag, which means that's an absolute no-go, not gonna do second date.Beige flag is like, hey, it's not the end of the road.
Green flag is like, it's like a cute quirky thing.
Yeah, like actually, could be great.
Okay.You get the second.Number two, quote, on a date, I was wearing a really cute top that was held together with a chain across the back.The chain broke before our drinks even arrived. I wasn't even moving, and my top completely fell off.
My date and seven other people saw me completely topless in a nice restaurant.My date didn't even offer me his shirt, so I had to go home holding the fabric up to my chest the whole time.
Okay, this could have been out of a romance novel, but it was not. giant red flag.The fact that nobody, him and his seven friends didn't offer anything or like the bartender or a random bystander. Like something's off here.
However, it could have been like a super green flag where he like literally stripped down and gave her his t-shirt button up.
If you're sitting there looking at a pair of honkies, that'd be tough to like, you know, I, first of all, is a brawl a situation like this common?
I mean, yeah, there are tops with like bras built in.However, I don't know, wow, I'm gonna go down a rabbit hole real quick.
The like chivalry of this, one, it could have been embarrassing, but it could have been like a new girl moment where it's like, yeah, I saw it, but whatever.
But also whoever she was on the date with should have been like almost defensively protective of like, that's my girl, nobody else should see this, take my shirt.
I don't think that's the case for a first date, but I think it's more of a- It should be.I think it's more of a respect thing.
Of, hey, I don't know you, you're a stranger, I wanna take care of you.Yeah.That's how I view it more than like, that's my girl, protect, you know what I'm saying?Yeah, I don't like it.
Also, it's a bummer, cause you could tell that this was super embarrassing for her, cause she knows that seven other people, it wasn't like a bunch of other people, she like knew that seven people saw her like this.
So that's a bummer, I'm sorry that happened.Dang, the whole time though,
He never offered his shirt.
Huh.Did you just fold up shop and go home as soon as your chain breaks?I mean, she pushed through.
Or like the entire way home, she just, with him.Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dang, that's crazy.Okay, number three.I, wait, red flag?Is that a red flag?
I think I agree, for sure.
Have you ever seen the red flag, green flag guy on Instagram?
Oh, he's taken off.If you haven't found him, please go find him.He carries these like, Like NFL sized flags and people will start telling a story and out of nowhere.
He'll just go running across the field But then midway he's like, oh and then he'll change it.
It's really good I think you did show me one of those you should get you guys should go find him
Number three, I agreed to movie and dinner on a match.com date.He was at least 20 years older than his photo and me.He was late to the movie and he didn't want either of us to get snacks, even though I wanted to pay for my own.
Wow, red flag, I'm out.Then he made us share one popcorn and Twizzlers, which he wouldn't allow me to eat until the movie began and place them on the floor on his far side to guard it from me?Stop.
When the movie began and I asked for a Twizzler, he handed me only one at a time and made me ask every time I wanted one.It was so weird.
This is some weird power trip.
No.The fact that he's like making rules is some creepy fetish guy.No.Out.
You take that as a fetish?I just feel this guy seems like immature, has some weird issues.
I see it as like a 20 plus year old man walks in, he's like, you're not allowed.You have to ask me.Like it's a, no, no, no, no.
Is the being older than the photo you have online a red flag immediately?Absolutely.
Okay, okay.20 years older than his photo?That means he's trying. he's trying to catch younger, which is even weirder.
I don't disagree.I don't know if that would be a, I meet you and I see you're older than what I saw.I don't know if I'm automatically out, but then.
Oh, I'm automatically out.
But then if he's late, okay, still maybe I have a little bandwidth for him.But then if you say, I want to get snacks.Oh, that's crazy.
He didn't let her pay for her own snacks.
That's what I'm saying, he has this weird power control thing.
Well, I can't believe she stuck around for that long.
And not even that, but hear me out.You sign up for a date, you like find me, whatever.Say you're 25, and I show up and I'm 45.
That's a huge difference.That's a massive difference.
Yeah.You'd be like, nah man, that's a little weird.
But other than that, how was the movie, you know?You know?You got four.
Do you think you'd be capable of leaving a date I don't know if I could.
I think, uh, does online dating make it easier?Like if that's how you met, if I met through a friend and they were like, Hey, I think you'd really like this girl.I hooked you up.
I think I would have a harder time walking away just because there's that shared, there's that shared connection.But on online, I think it might be easier just to be like, Hey, you know the situation.I know the situation.
We're just, we're trying to find the right fit.And here we are.
One time, after a date, we were making out on the couch and I felt a drip on my face.I just ignored it at first, but then I felt another one.I stopped and asked if something was on my face.
It was dark, so I couldn't really see his face, but he leaned back and goes, oh no, don't move.He had a bloody nose and it was dripping down my face while we made out.
Wow, first of all, your delivery on that was fantastic.Second of all, that is tough.
That is not a red flag though.
I guess it depends on what happens next, yeah.Yeah, what happens?Dang.
That's unfortunate, that's a beige, not a beige.No, it's a beige flag, it's like whatever.Like that's just unfortunate.
This is, I guess not explicitly worst first date, but are you a make out on the first date kind of girl?
Okay, interesting.We did not kiss on our first date.
Not that you asked.All right, fifth.I grabbed a drink with a guy from a dating app.I got there first and sat down.He showed up a couple minutes late and said he walked there.I asked how far it was.He said 45 minutes.Turns out he had a car.
He just liked to walk. I then noticed a big astronaut tattoo on his forearm and asked about it.He says, oh, this is a fake tattoo.
I've been putting it on for the last couple of years because I don't want a real tattoo because it will get wrinkly when I'm older.He then asked if I'd... Wow.He then asked if I have any real tattoos and I said yes.
The date continued awkwardly from there and we never went out again.What is it with men, dude?What is it with these guys? First of all, this is mostly female submitting dates with men.And I'm like, what the heck is wrong with the boys these days?
I'm just gonna say, I don't think it's a red flag.
That is a red flag to me.
Maybe he's just quirky.Like that, that to me is not like a massive red flag.
Sean, if he had the tattoo on for the last week, then that would be one thing.He's been putting this on for the last couple of years.
I know, but hear me out.What if he had the driest sense of humor and he's been putting this on for a couple years?
That is not how I'm reading this.
Maybe that's how she interpreted it.I want to meet this guy just so I can figure out if, are you actually putting a fake tattoo on for years?
Dang.It sounds like he's got his commitment issues, you know?And if this girl's in it for marriage, that to me is like, this guy doesn't do commitment.Dang.That's interesting.I will give you credit to your point.
Some of these, there is like a gray area of like interpretation and like, how do you respond to this? Because I'm quirky.I got my weird things.So do you.And I think we've had enough.My grandpa was huge into having a sense of humor and comedy.
He just thought that was the best way to navigate life.And some people are able to apply that in situations like this and receive it because it's a two-way street.Some people are not. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter.
If I'm trying to be funny and you're not having it, then that's, I think, at a certain point, I'm in the wrong.I need to stop trying to force that and understand you're not.
You need to figure out what I understand and how I receive it.Yeah, for sure.
Anyway, okay, you got it.
All I'm saying is, I deem that beige.
I am red flagged.Okay.45 minute walk, that's a beige flag.Forearm tattoo for the last couple of years.I don't know what my time is that's appropriate, but years is definitely past the line.
All I can picture is he's got a dry sense of humor.
Also, I wanna know why an astronaut.Seems like there's some stories there.You got six.
Okay.My date took me to the crab shack and had never had shrimp before. He ordered fried shrimp for his entree and ate the entire shrimp, tail and all.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that wasn't how you eat shrimp, but doubt he ever ordered it again.
Wow.Definitely a beige flag.
Green flag, actually.I'm going to say green flag.
I think it's kind of a red flag on her part.
that she didn't help him out?
Honestly, the guy's a green flag for just being a champ and housing the whole tale.
Not even making a fuss about it.You think she should have?
Oh, I think it's endearing, but I also think she should have been like, I think there's tails on that.
That could have been a cute moment.
Yeah.Crab Shack, yeah.I'm in on that.
I feel like so many people get so caught up on a first date of trying to act so perfect that you lose any room of giggles. It's okay to make mistakes and be awkward and funny and uncomfortable.Dates are uncomfortable.They are so awkward.
Okay, next one.On the way to dinner, my date got us lost, hit a curb, and had no basic sense of direction for where he wanted to go.
At dinner, he ends up showing me screenshots of nutrition textbooks that he reads for fun and proceeds to tell me what my macro should be as we were looking at the menu. What a way to make a girl self-conscious.
The whole conversation ends up being about him talking about workouts and grappling?Question mark?I'm all for being healthy, but an hour of talking about nothing but a workout regimen and then asking about my gym habits seems over the top.
When the food arrived, we ended up sitting in silence and I ended up watching the basketball game on TV behind the bar.It was so awkward.I'm going to say beige.
Beige.It sounds like he didn't know how to make conversation.
So you have like a little sympathy.
I have a little sympathy of like, maybe that's all he knew how to talk about.Maybe she wasn't asking him any questions.
The getting lost and hitting a curb could have been funny.
Could have been.But you also don't want to get a date and feel unsafe in a car.
The screenshots of nutrition textbooks, like that seems odd.No, I disagree.
I think that's just what he's into.I guess it depends on how he gets into that situation and how he navigates it.If it was a, hey, what are you learning these days?
And that's how the conversation started and this is what he came up with, totally fine.If it's like dominating the conversation, different story.I don't know.
I don't really have the self-awareness to think that looking at nutrition while we're looking at the menu is bad.
You're also the kind of person that, this is what it sounds like, where you're so curious that you ask a lot of questions, but you get very turned off by people who don't reciprocate that.
So I'll give you a little something of what I'm learning if you give me the same.
Yeah.So it kind of sounds like maybe she didn't reciprocate her interests and her conversation.I don't know.
Yeah.I'm going to say beige flag through and through. Yeah.
I was set up on a blind date.And as we were walking to the table for dinner, he started tickling me.Oh jeez.I thought it was so weird because I literally did not know this person at all.So I laughed awkwardly.
Then I kid you not, every 10 minutes of dinner, he would reach over my arm or over to my arm, shoulder or head and go tickle, tickle.As he tickled me like a little boy.
It was so weird and unbelievable that I busted out laughing, which he thought was because I was ticklish, but to be clear, I was just so uncomfy.I still laugh about this because what on earth?Never saw him again.
Interesting.This has come across as super childish. But also like, I don't know if that guy knows how to, I show, my son Jet and I show excitement the same way, which is like physical.
Like if I'm excited about something, I'm gonna punch you on the shoulder, I'm gonna dab you up.
I'm gonna like.But like think about a date every 10 minutes maybe and like.
Oh, I am not condoning this behavior.
I'm saying I. I also think you're like crossing boundaries.
I agree.Yeah, there's definitely like a personal, I need to get to know you a little bit before I'm gonna tickle you.Actually, there's very few people that I would be comfortable tickling.How many people?I mean, I tickle you and our kids.
That feels like the line.
That feels like the line, but like not a first date.You're not gonna tickle me on a first date.I'd be like, excuse me, no.
Yeah.She, she could have said stop.No, he should have known.I mean, but at some point.
Also, it's weird if you're walking to a table on a first date and the guy behind you tickles you.
That would have been jarring to say the least.
I just, I think I said this the first time we did this, I view first date as like a, I am here to show you that I respect you.
Second date, I'm gonna throw some darts at the wall that's gonna like, I'm gonna make some like jokes and like push them proud a little bit, try to get your edgy side.First date though, I need you to know that I respect you. That's the goal.
So I'm gonna open doors for sure.I'm gonna pay for dinner, definitely.I am here to respect and admire and be here for you.
Hold a hand on a first date?
Situational, I think it's situational.Not out the gate.
I don't remember if we held hands on a first date.
I don't think we did.For our first date, when you came to Nashville, I had an itinerary and schedule planned out. I don't know, I view it as accommodating.
First date felt like four dates, because we spent all day, like literally 10 a.m.to midnight together.
But I kept giving you outs, I remember, like, hey, do you wanna, like.
Go do something on your own?
Because I don't want to impose.
But tickling does feel like, slightly disrespectful for.
Yeah. All right, nine.I've been talking to a guy through an app for several weeks.He invited me to dinner, and when I got there, I discovered he was missing multiple teeth.He never acknowledged this.I went back and looked at the pictures.
He had posted all of his smiles, and they were all with closed mouths.All of his mouths were closed mouth smiles.Sorry, we're reading these as they were submitted, so it's like different people have different storytelling styles.
Red flag, green flag, beige flag.
Are you calling this beige with the older age thing red?How is it different?
What if he's a hockey player?
And he just got his teeth knocked out?
Maybe he just didn't pay to get fake ones put back in.
So this is different because he didn't post like edited pictures or past pictures when he had teeth.This was just closed mouth smiles.
I think it's one of those things like how do you put that on a profile?Unless you're literally just showing yourself smiling.
I think there's a sense of humor there too.
The average human has 46 teeth or whatever and I only have 30.How many teeth does a human have?
I think it's like different too.This sounds awful and I don't want it to be like judgmental but Is he clearly addicted to drugs and his teeth are falling out?Or is he missing teeth because of a profession or a... Whatever.Is he a boxer?
So it's situational.Situational.Let's see.Most adults have 32 permanent teeth, including eight incisors, four canines, eight premolars, and 12 molars.
I'm gonna say beige flag.I think it's me.
We need more info That guy's probably waiting for a girl to be like, it's okay You know because part of me tells me like if he's only posting closed mouth smiles on his profile then maybe he's insecure about it.
I Don't know who knows Yeah, we're all gonna lose our teeth some way probably get old enough.
New teeth that are pricey, dude.All right, you got 10.
I dated this guy who told me he had to head back to his place because he was taking care of his friend's dog.The dog came running out and peed all over my legs.I had on a short skirt and sandals.
It wasn't a little pee, it was like the poor puppy was holding her pee all day.I had a river of urine all over my feet and legs, but here is where it turned.
I said laughingly, can I just go wash off my legs and feet in your tub or outside with the hose? He said, no, I will take you home now.I don't let people use my stuff that I don't know too well.
It was a one hour drive back to my house and I sat there with a gallon of dog pee all over me for the drive home.The smell was awful.
When we got to my house, he leaned in to kiss me and I pushed him back and I said, I don't like to share my mouth with people I don't know.
Oh, clap back.Wow, the audacity of this guy to go for the kiss.
First of all, very clever comeback.I think it's a red flag that the puppy hadn't been let out, like the puppy should have been let out.Clearly didn't take care of the dog that well.
Red flag that he didn't let her wash off?
I think that could have been a cute moment.
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This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.This month is all about gratitude and someone I'm thankful for lately is you, baby.
Thank you for all you do for our family.
Thank you, babe.I'm thankful for you, too.It's always a good reminder this time of year to let the people in your life know that you're thankful for them.
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That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash eSFAM.Like, I don't know.
Yeah.Also, maybe he didn't want her to come inside his apartment.
They were already there.I think they were already there. They're at somebody's apartment.The friend's dog, I'm assuming, was at his house.
Anyway, red flags everywhere.
Yeah, I'm gonna say red flag with her response multiple 11 I went on a date with a guy that was a mutual friend He got hammered early on at dinner and became progressively more obnoxious.He started referring to me as bugs That's what I call Sean.
So we're gonna beige flag that one, but he met bugs Yeah, because her teeth are slightly larger than they should be interesting.That's that is demeaning That's not why I call you bugs By the time we finished our meal, I'd had enough.
The waitress dropped the bill off and as he got up to use the restroom, he tossed me his credit card and said, pay the bill.So I did and added $150 tip to our $100 dinner.I think that's a red flag.
I handed him the card when he got back and we left without a receipt.Okay.Um, red flag that he got drunk. I think the snide nickname on the first date.
No, no snide nicknames on a first date.No nicknames on a first date.
It depends on how it's perceived being received.If she laughed really hard, no, it's out of line.That's out of line.That's out of line.But I also think it's out of line for her to give a $150 tip.Yeah, that was not okay.
You don't repay a wrong with a wrong.And that's not your money to spend.
Dang.Getting hammered though on a first date, massive red flag.
Don't do it.I don't care how much fun you're having.Do not get trashed on a first date.
If you're gonna live that sad life, just do it by yourself and don't waste somebody else's night by going on a date with them.
It's so disrespectful.It's such a turnoff. No, no, no, no, no.The girl I was supposed to go out with had food poisoning two days earlier.I said we could postpone, but she said she was fine.
So I showed up at her apartment, flowers in hand, and after greeting her, I ran to the car to open the door, when all of a sudden, I heard noises from behind me.I turned around and saw her standing in a puddle of liquid poop.
She ran back into the house.I never saw her again.I also ended up, what? Also, then ended up taking her roommate that out that night to a concert and we've been together for three three years now Dang, that's tough Wait, what?
You are a grown adult and poop in your pants.
Yeah You never had to close calls, babe.
She walks out of her house and with her date there and poops?She had to have felt it coming.
Look, stomachs can be very volatile.
No, no, no, no, no.I mean, that stinks in many different ways, literally and- If we had any reservation about like, is my stomach good or not?The date's off.
No, remember?We went to, what's that guy's name?
You didn't think you were gonna poop your pants on the sidewalk.
Jeff Dunham, I took Sean to.And you were really excited about it, so I was like, I'm gonna bite the bullet and go.My stomach was feeling upset.
Did you feel like you were going to poop your pants on the sidewalk?
No, but I kept saying I needed to go get snacks or whatever.
Or phone calls, or like, I don't know, it's like.
But I just didn't, yeah, that was tough.
Dang.Also, I do have a question.I don't think it's unbelievable that an adult would poop their pants.I think it's maybe more common that we let on.I think there's a lot of adults out there pooping pants.
Yeah, but to see her standing in a pile of liquid poop, that means like, she didn't start pooping and run, she like, pooped.
Yeah, that is surprising.That's a unique reaction for sure.
Also, I do, I am curious how he never saw her again if he's been dating her roommate for three years.
Yeah, but way to make the best of a situation, you know?Pivots, sees the roommates, keeps going.I hope that lady's stomach has recovered.All right, 13, about halfway through a movie, I hear my date whisper, hey.
I look over to him and he digs into his sweatpants pockets and pulls out a full-sized banana.He whispers, I responded very confused and quietly because we were in a theater and I said no.
He puts a banana back into his pocket and we continue to watch the movie.I'm sitting there thinking about what was going through his head when he packed the large banana in his pocket before going on this date.
Another 10 minutes go by and I hear another whisper. Hey, do you mind if I eat my banana now?And I said, sure.
This man cracks open the banana at the quietest, most suspenseful part of the movie and then continues to eat a banana throughout the rest of the movie.No way.I mean, I eat a banana in two seconds.He's not lasting the whole movie.All right.
Fast forward almost five years and we went ring shopping just a few weeks ago and still joke about this terrible first date.I love that.
Also, let's rewind without the ring part.Like they're still together and they're getting married.That's not a red flag.
A banana?That he offers you?
He just brought a banana.
I think it's a... I mean, smuggling food in, I think it's an aggressive play for a first date.
I smuggle food into every single movie.
For a first date though, I don't want to give up.You're in on that?For sure.
Okay.I would be, I would be like, yes.If you pulled out a bag and you had like a soda, I'd be like, yes.
That would be cute though, but a solo rogue banana.
Weird.Weird choice of fruit.
It was very kind of him to offer it to her.I will say that.
I do feel like I can picture many friends of ours who would be like, do you want a banana?No, can I have it?
It is pretty hilarious how he waits 10 minutes and then says, can I have the banana?I think that could come off really funny.Anyway, all right, you got 14.
My date brought me flowers.He said he stole from a graveyard down the road.
No, I'm gonna say Red Flag.
Yeah, that's a little weird.
Joking about stealing something, joking about like, that's kind of dark humor, so that's a double negative for me.
But Flowers is a nice thought.He's kind of on the right track.All right, 15.I met this guy in Hinge.His profile said he was like six foot eight and was a larger gentleman.
When he arrived, I figured it was him because he was tall, but he was about 100 to 150 pounds heavier than his pictures. He told me he used pictures on Hinge from his late 20s.He was now 42.Nope, not okay.
Because women nowadays are superficial and shouldn't base everything off of looks.I agreed, but said that this is being deceitful.When it was time to pay, he goes, technically you invited me on the date, so technically you should pay.
Mind you, my meal with an alcoholic beverage was around $15.I said that I would pay for my own meal, but I wouldn't pay for his.He kept giving me reasons why I should be paying for the tab, and we didn't go out again.
That's red flag, red flag, red flag.I respect her for, I think, laying down the law of truth and saying, hey, that's a little deceitful.I think if he's gonna be aggressive, meeting that with, no, you're being deceitful is great.
I read this and get a lot of insecurity.
From him.It just screams insecurity. He uses pictures from his 20s, but he's now 42.He uses pictures where he was 100 to 150 pounds lighter than he is now.
He says it's because he thinks women are superficial and shouldn't base everything off of looks.And then I think he gets defensive and he's like, fine, you asked me to go on this date? I think it's just massive insecurity, and part of me feels sad.
But I also think it's a massive red flag.He seems manipulative.Because he's right when he says you shouldn't be superficial, but the way he weaponizes that feels manipulative.Also, you're 42.You're a grown man.You're a grown man.You're a grown man.
You should be better than this, is what I think.I'm sure maybe there's some difficult things that happen in that life, but my view. I view a man as like, I think part of how I view it is you gotta stare truth right in the face.
And it's like, hey, I'm overweight.I'm gonna take care of this.And then, hey, I'm overweight and I'm not gonna try to hide it or be deceitful.And then, hey, I'm taking you on a date.And it's like, what's the right thing to do here?
And it's not out of convenience that I'm going on a date to get a free meal paid for.It's out of me trying to actually do this dating thing well and find someone seriously. This person's playing games is how I take it.And that's not what a man does.
I think a man can be playful, but this guy's playing games.That's how I feel.You want me to keep going?I'll keep going.You got the next one.
Years ago, I met a guy in line at Starbucks one Sunday morning.He ended up buying me coffee.We talked for almost three hours and he asked for my number. We texted during the day, and he called me at night to talk.
He asked me on our very first date for Valentine's Day.We enjoyed our dinner, and as we are walking back to his vehicle, a girl in sweatpants, baggy t-shirt, and hair in a messy bun comes walking up, yelling at him, out of town?F-ing out of town?
You liar.I'm standing there shocked.She told me she's his girlfriend, which obviously I had no idea. She said her friend was inside the restaurant having dinner, saw us, called her, and she waited outside to see if it was true.
He called me later to explain, saying when he met me, he felt more of a connection and didn't know how to end it with his girlfriend, so he just lied to make it easier to avoid Valentine's Day.
I gave him a good talk, blocked his number, and never heard from him again.
Aw, that's the worst.This goes back to doing what you need to do, not what you want to do.It's like, first of all, that's way, that is just how to lie.
It's out of line, it's a red flag, it's not okay.But my thoughts are like, you're dating, if you clearly not, if you're clearly not having a connection with your girlfriend, and you meet another girl and you have a connection with her, whatever.
But no, no, no, no, because you shouldn't be humoring a girl in the Starbucks line when you have a girlfriend.
Also, what kind of principle are you setting that like, oh, you're dating somebody and then you meet some girl at a coffee shop randomly.And it's like, maybe you go to coffee shop all the time.You're going to meet some other girl there.
It's like, I don't want to be just the next in line.
Or let me like paint a different picture.Ready?He's in line at Starbucks.Barista.Barista writes her number on a coffee cup that he gets.
You got to go break up with your girlfriend if you're going to call that chick.
You're not going to sit down and talk to her for three hours before you break up with your girlfriend.
Yeah.And it seems like, it seems like this was a pretty serious relationship.
That's bad.Don't do that.
Um, also anytime, let me explain.That's just, I think there are black and white situations.
There are good and bad things, and the explain part always tries to inject some aspect of gray into that, and that's like, it's just not gonna end well, if you fall down that road and you just let him explain, and then you feel bad.
Also, what was his plan?Just to keep the girlfriend?
It's not good, you gotta nip in the bud.All right, 17, my date asked to see my apartment but proceeded to go through our cabinets and eat all my Oreos before passing out in my bed after I had asked him to leave several times.
I ended up sleeping locked in my bathroom on the floor and the next day had to wake him up at 3 p.m., wow, and force him to leave so I could go to work.
Needless to say, I blocked his number and have lived scared for the next two years that he would come knocking on my door to ask for a second date. There's a lot going on there.
A lot of red flags.I think I would have called the police.
I mean, eating Oreos, it's like... Whatever.Okay, whatever.
In my bed... Passing out in the bed after she had asked him to leave, not okay.
As soon as I'm asked to leave one time, you gotta leave.
Also, her sleeping locked in the bathroom, I think I would have just called the police.
Also, who's sleeping in until 3 p.m.?
Also, hear me out, ladies. I'm gonna give you a responsibility right now, okay?If you live in an apartment complex, dorms, condos, house, okay?No matter the situation, this is what you're going to do.
You are going to go buy donuts or bags of coffee, okay?For your closest neighboring five people. You're gonna write on a beautiful card and say, this is my name, I have moved in.If you need eggs, please feel free to come knock on my door, vice versa.
You're gonna make friends with your neighbors, whether you actually hang out with them or not, doesn't matter.You're gonna make friends with them.You're gonna get their cell phone numbers.
So that in the event this happens, you go over to Frank's house or Frank's apartment next door and you say, Mr. Frank, this guy passed out and he won't leave. And you have a full community of people who are protecting you.
I love that, babe.I love that challenge.
You are not alone, ever.Don't make yourself alone as a woman.
There's benefits to being a good neighbor, and that's that you get good neighbors in return.Yes. like physical proximity with other people can make a massive difference and keep you safe.Also give you eggs when you need them.
Anyway, I like that challenge.All right.But how do you feel about her being scared for two years?Like what's the, is there any solution for that?No.
I mean.She was scared for the next two years that he would come knocking on her door for a second date.
Just say no.It sounds like she has a hard time saying no. Like, get out of my house.
Yeah.That would be tough.
No, I have a lot of, that would be really uncomfortable though.
Are you like grabbing me and pulling me out of the house?That stinks for her.
That's why you need to ask your neighbor.
18, I went on a date with a dentist while we're eating.He shows me pictures of teeth he pulled that day without warning.Then mid-date, he says, okay, now open up.I just laughed at first, but he persisted saying, come on, open up, let me see.
He reaches over and pulls down my chin.Oh my gosh, to show my teeth, to give me a dental exam mid-brewery.And he says, I knew you had veneers, which I absolutely do not.
He then motions over to my plate of discarded chicken wing bones and says, are you gonna eat that?I said, no, assuming he was gonna throw it away for me.Wrong.
He reaches over and grabs the eaten wings and takes a bite and says, you can't leave all the meat on there.At this point, I went to the bathroom and paced around trying to figure out some way to get out of this.
But I painfully sat through the rest of trivia.We got second and he was so mad.Don't date Dennis. I don't think that's a fair way to conclude that.
We know a lot of great Dennis.This is very similar to last one where you are way out of line.You're crossing boundaries.She said, no, you got to respect that.
And also don't touch people.Stop touching your dates like. Don't grab your date's chin and force her to open her mouth.
I also think anytime the word persisted is used on a first date, you're probably wrong.You should not be persisting anything, I don't think.
This is a light exploration of, do I wanna do a second date?No persisting.That's how I feel.
I'm just mad at all these people who are like, I'm gonna tickle you.
Also eating after, I have different standards than most people when it comes to food etiquette.I'm not eating someone's pre-eaten bones.It's tough.Anyway, 19.
My best friend set me up on a date.He asked if there was anything I didn't eat and I said fish.The date night comes and he takes me to sushi in a carnival.After 20 minutes at the carnival, he reappears drunk and he agrees to go on a ride with me.
If you don't know what it is, look it up.About two minutes into the ride, he throws up everywhere. I screamed for them to stop the ride until they finally did.I got off that ride and called my mom to pick me up.
I talked for 30 minutes in the porta potty trying to wipe the throw up off of me.My mom came with clothes and made me sit in the back of the car with the windows all the way down.
Worst part, he called me the next day asking for my share of the carnival tickets because I left.
Red flag, red flag, red flag.One, not thoughtful or listening or caring with the fish thing.Carnival's fun.I think it's a fun first date.Drunk, red flag.Can't do it.Throwing up, that's just a consequence of your actions, buddy.Dang.
Sounds like a young person.
Wait, I'm also really confused that after 20 minutes at the carnival, he reappears drunk.What, did he just sneak away to go shoot some shots?
Yeah, were you solo navigating this carnival?That's also a red flag, yeah.
And then it does say throw up everywhere, not I threw up everywhere.So was that him or her?
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Yeah, no, there's a lot of question marks in that story.We don't know a lot there, but I'm gonna say probably not going on a second date regardless.
No.I think it was a red flag on his part.Drunk, not being respectful.
The zipper though. Okay, last one for today.When our food came out, my date took out the gum he was chewing and put it on a napkin next to his plate.He didn't cover it up or anything.The chewed gum just stared at me.
He was talking nonstop, then asked me if I wanted to hear his impression of Stitch, like Lilo and Stitch.Not sure what to say, I said sure, and he started doing full-on, loud impressions at the table.
When it was time to leave, he paid, and I noticed that he had not left a tip, so I heard him grab some cash to leave at the table.I tried to get in my car, and he tried to kiss me.
I was able to turn my head, so he got my cheek, and then he proceeded to tell me I was the best kisser he's had.Slightly traumatizing, but I did eventually find my husband on Bumble, and he doesn't do stitch impressions and tips well when we go out.
Okay, the chewed gum, whatever.That's a beige flag.
No, it's like wrap it up.
Yeah, you should do something with the gum.
Yeah, I'd say it's borderline beige.Yeah.You should take care of the gum.
You should take care of it.The stitch impression?
Yeah.But the loud impressions, it depends on how loud.
I think this is like a... If he has the confidence, though, it could be funny.
It could be funny.No tipping?I will say this, though. No, at a restaurant, everybody knows you tipped the waiter unless there's like the included gratuity or whatever.Are you supposed to tip on top of that?Here's what I'm saying.
There's no like guidelines for tipping.You know like when you go to a hotel or whatever and it's like, am I supposed to tip?It's just like the wild west.Am I supposed to just be handing everybody cash?
There's all these memes on the internet of like, it'll be 15% or like choose your tip.I don't know what the right situation is or how much to tip certain people. It is confusing, but in this situation, this guy's wrong.
But then the kiss, pretty aggressive, and then him saying that the cheek kiss is the best kisser he's ever had, I think it's him making light of the situation.
I would say this, try not to kiss someone on the first date.
I think it could be in play, but there's gotta be a lot of... A lot of signs.Yeah.Best not to.
Best not to. We did not kiss on our first date.And I'm glad we didn't.
We kissed on our second date.
It's good memories.I love you.All right.Thank you for listening.Thank you for submitting.Thank you.Thank you for submitting all of those.Uh, let us know what we should react to next.These are fun.I also feel like we get to know you uniquely.
We kept these anonymous.So, uh, this is anonymous.We don't have any names on our little sheet here.
We did find out at one point in our last part one that one of them was submitted by one of our
No, no, no, multiple were submitted by one of our friends.Oh, man.
It also is hilarious to hear people's skill in storytelling.Like a lot of these are really prosaic.Anyway, if you made it this far, please leave a rating and review.If you haven't, we do appreciate that.
And if you're listening on audio and you're like, man, I wish there was video, well, we got news for you.We do have video.And if you're listening on video and you're like, man, I just want to hear the audio, well, good news for you.
We're on all the pack. podcast platforms.Anyway, uh, don't forget to check out our other podcast, which is called second cup that comes out every other Thursday.It's our interview show.
This couple of things has just turned into Sean and I chopping it up with you all.Um, also link our new podcast, Instagram, and also we have a newsletter that comes out weekly. It's pretty great, to be honest.
And there are, I think, nearing 200,000 people who are signing up for that.And we do recipes, we do tips.
Back to school, funny stories, life updates that you aren't gonna hear anywhere else.
And it's all for this group of people doing family, like we are.So we're thankful for you all and hope you have a fantastic day.Thanks for listening.I'm Andrew.
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