Pretty good app. All of it is so fucking slow to get, and more essentially harassed 24 hours a day.They come to me and ask, do you know that?I can't hear shit.I can't hear shit.I can't hear shit.I can't hear shit.I can't hear shit.
Hello and welcome back to the Misfits Podcast.Rated five stars by fucking no one.I'm joined today by Toby.Hello.Mason.Hello.And Mr. Swagger Souls himself.How are we?I'm good, yeah.How are you guys?This is Fitz.Oh yeah, Fitz by the way.
G'day, how we doing?Fairly relaxed, fairly relaxed.We're back.It's been a little while since we've done a podcast.It has.Times have changed.We took a little while to slow down there.We went to Tasmania.Yeah.
That was the last podcast we did really, wasn't it?Yeah, it was.Fucking Tazzy trip, recapping that. Since then we've just been living our lives shooting all kinds of crazy mischief and just being misfits.Oh, yeah It's a funny thing misfits, isn't it?
How many years ago did we start this?Really six years since we all met Yeah.Since Misfits was a thing, what, 2018?
But we were all like a big group even before that really.Yeah.H1Z1.
Oh yeah, well that's when we first all played video games.
My scuffed ass thumbnail and little picture emoji things.How old were you in that session? 16, 17, 19.Yeah, you were 17, 18.
I feel like, didn't you turn 18, like, when we were on a trip?At PAX.Yeah.
Crazy.Found these two.Matt and Swag are just sitting in this fucking shit hotel room.Yeah, we were in the warship.Throwing deodorant at the mirrors and shit.
No, you took my deodorant and then you broke it.And then you, like, flung it at the fucking mirror.
It was the only stupid deodorant.And then you ate it.I think I ate it, yeah. And then since then, it's been... And then we went to Paris and you ate some chapstick.What else have you eaten over the years?Cigarette butts, my piss.
Didn't you eat those truffles in fucking Europe as well?Oh, no, I skipped on the truffles.Yeah, you skipped on the truffles.Or you ate a pizza on the toilet, I remember that.A pizza on the toilet.Yeah, the Space Kings.Yeah, that's what I meant.
The Space Kings. What was in those space cakes?A lot of wheat.
That's just wheat?Just edibles?Yeah.This is very strong edibles.I wonder if they, like, if you guys went back, I wonder if they would still be very strong to you.Yes.I've had a fair detox.
I ate one of those cakes, man, and I saw shit, dude.I saw shit.Yeah.
Well, Mason doesn't really smoke wheat anymore, do you?Nah, man.I've moved on.See?We're formed.We've all matured in many ways since those days.Since the Misfits formed.How would you say you've matured, Toby?
Oh, you know, well, I used to be a degenerate who sits in my room all day and streams for 12 hours a day, never seeing sunlight.Even when I lived in the Misfits house with you guys, I was in my room most of the time, just gaming.
Now you meet people and stuff.
I meet people and I hang out with people.
You have conversations that aren't on a podcast.
You used to sit in your room and just not talk to anyone.
Yep, that was what I did. Now I got a baby coming.Living a normal life.You're starting a family.
It's crazy because I live in Perth for like, you know, three weeks of the month and then I spend one week here where it's just like I go from like chill family life to staying up till 5 a.m.every morning playing Age of Empires.
I didn't say one week here.You've been here for like two weeks now.
Yeah, I have been here for like 17 days or something like that.
For those of you who don't know, Toby moved states.She no longer lives in Melbourne.There's no more Misfits House.Some people still think that we all live in a house together.
People still think that there's a Misfits House.It's because we just never- That was three years ago.Four years ago.Look, the lease ended and then, you know, it just didn't- Dude, the lease ended.
Even if we wanted to, they hated us.They fucking hated us.
Dude, we like, the plumbing like leaked and there was just shit in the neighbor's driveway.
Yeah, there was some stupid bitch fell down her stairs at a party and put a hole in the wall.I don't know if we ever told that story.You remember that?
That was a Halloween party that we had and someone brought their girlfriend and she had too much to drink.She fell down the fucking steps and put a hole in the wall.I was so pissed off.
She's on the ground like this Sounds like you're still holding on to a lot of anger about this given that you called her a stupid bitch She's just a drunk woman.Sorry a stupid drunk woman Yeah, I actually like nearly went
death in one ear that night as well.I jumped in the pool.
Was that stupid bitch talking in your ear all night?
No, definitely not, no.I fell in the pool and like just hit one side of my ear and like for two weeks I just couldn't hear out of my ear.You fell in the pool?That pool was rancid.Missionary were handcuffed, my mate. and handcuffed him together.
How long were you handcuffed for again?The whole night, mostly.
Because he was a convict.
Yeah, we were both convicts.I have a video of them slam boxing each other on slippery pavement.And so he like does the splits.He did a fucking split.He got wanked.Wanked in the head.
There were some good memories of that original Misfits house.It was a good house.It was cool.And you weren't in your room the whole time.We filmed the 420 video there.We made Thomas the tank engine bong. Oh yeah.Remember that?
Remember the fucking bouncy house?We did have a bouncy house.
I shanked the bouncy house.Yeah, you fucking stabbed it.Filming videos there was very fun.Had a beautiful Christmas.
And then we had K's Bar.Well, you had K's Bar. Dude, that place... COVID ruined it, man.Well, was Kingsborough straight after the Misfits' house?Yeah.No!
No, it wasn't.It was a period where... We should set a timeline for all the fans for how it all started and what really happened.
Because we are so terrible at explaining.Yeah.We've done a bad job at explaining all this.People have no idea what's happening with us, ever.
If you know anything about Misfits, it's one, we're funny. Two, we're good friends, and three, we're really good at communicating.
And four, we're very consistent.
Extremely consistent.Consistently, un-consistent.
Professionally, un-professional.That's right.This is peak YouTuber performance right here.So what happened after Misfits House?For the record, I never lived at Misfits House.Right from day one, I was like, I'm not living in a fucking gamer house.
Made a good call, made a good decision.Not anything against you.
I see how it is, man.I see how it is.I just figured like I can just visit you guys often, which I did.Yeah.And it worked out great.You could have visited more.We did all the old podcasts in the MizZit House.
The first one, when you were bald.
Yeah, when Victor was bald.
On the first video podcast.
It was like two of us bald ladies.First video podcast.
Well, technically the first video podcast was the Edibles episode.
Technically, yeah.True, true.I remember I edited the thing. You edited that?I edited that overnight, because the guy that we got to edit it just dropped the ball.
And so I think I had like a bong an hour, and then I did it for like six hours, went to sleep at like five in the morning.And as a reward, manager Ryan got me a really good bong, which I used for like a solid year until it broke.I remember that.
Yeah, man, we were so young back when we first moved to Melbourne, so fresh-faced, starry-eyed, just saying all kinds of shit on a podcast regularly.And now we're way more sophisticated.
And still just saying a bunch of dumb shit on a podcast regularly, or not so regularly anymore.
So it started, obviously, all the online shit, and then we all moved to Melbourne in 2018, got into the Misfits' house, And then after that, we went to L.A.for an extended period.We did.We were in L.A.for... It was like a couple months, right?
That was before the house.
Yeah, that was when I still lived in New Zealand.
Yeah, we're talking about... I'm talking about the one where we recorded all the podcasts.The one that, like, we thought... We were in LA as COVID hit, and we thought we were going to get trapped in LA.It was in 2020.
We thought they were going to close the border.
It was literally like February 2020.Otis swam back to Australia.Yeah, that was a tough call.So we did Misfits House, and then that lease ended.We couldn't renew the lease, even if we wanted to.The landlord hated us.
And so we all got our own place, but I did that for a year and then it was after that that we wanted to do Keys, right, Keysboro?
Yeah, that was in the midst of COVID, just bubbling up.
Because we had the office, we had her first office, we had that for like a year.And then when the Misfits house was gone, we still had the office.
And then when the office was gone, we had like a period where it was just kind of working out of Ryan's house.Oh yeah, true.
It's always been just so dusty.
Yeah. Then we ended up going to Keyes.Did we ever properly explain this in a podcast?
Yeah, we've talked about Keyes.Keyes was a house that we had that we were going to film content at, but COVID hit.And the government didn't let us enter.Yeah, it was actually kind of far out of town.
We just weren't able to really be there often, unfortunately.It was illegal, wasn't it?
It was illegal to have more than two fucking people in a house.Yeah, it was me, Chris, and Carby.
That was it. So it was and we paid for like a whole year-long lease at this huge place was really exciting for content And then the government said I had a shit ton of land It had a giant room that we were gonna use as an office.
Yeah, we're gonna do a whole Olympics thing for the for when the Olympics was coming out and
Four years now.There were big plans, but this is a period where Misfits sort of started to go dark.We were doing, you know, podcasts on Discord at the time.I had ran away back to New Zealand.
We were just disconnected as fuck back then.
Like COVID hit.Thank you very much. COVID hit and I was like, well, this might be the last chance I get to see my family for a long time.So I'll go see them.And I also didn't have a house then.
So I was like, yeah, I'll just crash at my parents' house for a little bit.And yeah, I got there and was stuck there for nine months before I was able to come back.By the time I got back, Keysborough House was done.I was there for the last day.
Yeah, the best room in the house is empty for the entire at least Toby had like the fucking master suite with like the en suite and the open tub and the balconies Yeah, I just wanted to watch women babe.
Well, I play in bed By the time that Toby was able to come back we were like filming a video and
where we were showing off the house and like yeah here's what we would have done with it and then we go upstairs and none of us knew that Toby was back in Melbourne and she met us in the room that was supposed to be hers.
Troubling times for the Misfits.That video never came out.People always ask me about that one.They're like, where's the video showing off that house you guys had?So much of our content just hasn't surfaced.It's because it just wasn't up to standard.
It didn't really make any sense.
We have a lot of content that just makes no sense.It's like, but there's no context for it either.It was a dusty time for the Misfits.And then things started to change a little bit.You know, COVID ended.
Everyone, I think in general, their lives got better.Everyone was a little happier.Everyone started, I don't know, maturing in their own way, working on themselves, growing up, doing all kinds of cool shit.
Yeah, I mean now we will still live in our own separate places, but we're still mates, we get together, we shoot.You guys saw the Tazzy video recently.
Oh, dude.By the way, thanks for the support on that.Thank you.
It's fucking cool to see that everyone enjoyed it so much.It was a little movie we re-released.It really was, two hours.About our road trip in Tasmania.Obviously, we did a whole podcast covering that, so we're not going to delve deep into that.
It's cool, man.We've been shooting shit again.We have.We've been doing a lot.But enough of all that.We'll talk about that later.I'm interested, Swagger Sauce, in how you feel you've changed as a person since Misfits began.
Since it began?Dude, I'm a lot more social.I'm a lot more, like, in my element.I'm a lot more secure.I would say that I'm in my lane.In your lane?I'm flourishing.Flourishing?Yeah. Honestly, dude, I think I've changed a lot since it first began.
You're still the same, of course.I'm still the same.I'm the same in all the cool ways.I haven't changed for the worse or anything.I'm not addicted to anything.
You're getting pretty old.
Slowly decomposing before us.
34 now.You were 33 last week.Last year.
I swear his age just changes all the time.It's almost like he's lying.
Yeah, I think you've changed too.You're a cooler guy now.
Mason, I think you're a cooler guy as well.Thanks, man.Thank you.How do you reckon you've changed?
Mason was a literal child.Yeah, you were literally a little baby.
I was a little bit of a spaz back then.You genuinely just were a kid though.I mean, you're still a spaz.You were a kid. You were so young.I was still in school when I met you guys.Yeah, you were, dude.So cute.
All the people in your high school knew that you did YouTube?
Yeah, dude, I was the cool kid.Did you know that shoved youngins up to lockers because they threw paper at my face?Wait, was that really you?Some kid just piffed paper at my face and he always used to call me Zuckles.
Oh, because he knew about your channel?Yeah, and he just walked past me like, Zuckles.How many subs did you have when he was doing that?
Oh man, I wasn't that poppin'.
I was probably like 50k, 50k.
But 50k is pretty poppin', especially back then.Back then, that was a big hit.
It is crazy to think how back then, 50k, 100k subscribers, that was a big deal.And now it's like, you get a million subscribers and that's still not even a big deal.It's crazy.It's a big deal to you, in the grand scheme of things.
It was always weird when we were on the come up and it was like, one of the questions I always asked my friends was like, at what point would you consider somebody like a successful YouTuber or like a successful entertainer?
And they always said like 100k. But when you hit 100k, you're like, this isn't anywhere near.
It just depends.You can make a living with 100k.It depends on the content.Success is your own definition, really.I think YouTubers are always comparing themselves to others. Unhealthy as hell.Yeah.Oh, yeah.
But you know if you're making a living with a hundred subs, it's dope.It's dope.Yeah, it's cool.A hundred subs.It's better than working for someone else.I don't know about a hundred subs.Did I say a hundred?
Hey, if you're really dedicated, you can make it work.Yes.A video every second, you might just make a living.Yeah, now you're all grown up, man.I know, man.
I got a girlfriend now, living in Melbourne.
You dress way better?I dress way better.
Pretty good?Yeah.Still getting up to my mishaps every now and then.
It's fucking cool to see, man.
Our one trip to Tasmania wasn't the only trip to Tasmania that we took.You went to Tassie again shortly after the video. As did I. We just liked it so much.
We had to go back.It was so nice.Tassie's beautiful, man.What's it called?Cradle Mountain?Cradle Mountain.I'll never swim in a better lake than that.Or a colder one.Colder one.That was pretty fucking cold.
But yeah, I went to go meet my girlfriend's grandparents.How was that?Were they old as fuck?They are pretty old.And yeah, they got COVID after, actually.Do they know what you do? One of them, her grandmother has dementia.
Oh yeah, so you just forget it anyway.
But she remembered my channel and stuff somehow.Oh, that's cute.Thank you.
So what do they think about it?Do they have any comments?Yeah.My grandparents, I mean, they respect it, but they have no idea.
Her granddad is all into the gadget kind of stuff.OK.And he's like, I was talking about all my monitors.
You're telling me he's into gadgets and gizmos?Yeah. Oh my God, so he's a real tech whiz.Yes, he is.Fancy that.A gadget and gizmo granddad.
Yeah, just like yourself.And I was telling him about all this Twitch stuff and all that, and he was very interested.Cool.
Well, I mean, you've got to respect it at the end of the day.It's kind of like you're a little entrepreneur, paving your own way.Yeah, exactly.That's cool.Did anything exciting happen when you went to Tazzy the second time?
Um, it was more just a chill thing.Yeah, you didn't get, like, any kind of disease or anything, or, you know, have sex with your sister?
Nah.I live-streamed in a graveyard.Oh, yeah, I remember that.
You did a fucking bag flip to honor the day.Yeah, bro.And now I've done another backflip.Fuck my ankle.Yeah, you did.You did.I came to a halt.Mason's been limping around all day.Mason's fucking limping around.
I got a wooden leg right now, bro.A peg leg.
Um, yeah. It's cool.Yeah, I mean, me and Swag went back as well.
My childhood friend visited Melbourne for the first time.We'll call him Mr. Smith.
Oh, of course I remember Mr. Smith.
Thank you.At the airport, So I'm there with my childhood friend, he's in Melbourne, he's visiting.I'm like, dude, we're gonna have so much fun, you're gonna love Melbourne.He's like, yeah, I can't wait.
First couple of days, all we did was hang out at my house and smoke weed, and didn't really go outside.And then it was like, he was offered by Ryan, because Ryan wanted to go back to Tasmania for a couple of days, just as a little vacation.
And so we offered, hey, do you and your friend want to come?And so I look at my friend, I'm like, I don't really know if I want to go back to the Ice Man.He's like, dude, I'd love to.And I was like, oh, fuck.Well, now I have to.
He's fucking roped me into it.And so we end up going back.The flights have been booked.Everyone gets their boarding pass right before we get on the flight.And they had no fucking clue what his last name was, and they didn't bother to ask.
So they fucking put him down his first name and then last name Smith. So it's just his first name, which I'm not going to say because it's super identifiable.
Let's just say it's the opposite of Smith.
Dude, he's a very, very Indian guy.He's very Indian.His last name is not Smith. And it was so painfully obvious, so like he gets his pass.
He's like he's like dude someone fuck this up Freaking out at the airport because he's you know He's like the only fucking proud guy in Melbourne going through the airport and so like we're going through and he gets stopped Because you're like well.
We got to swab you for explosives naturally yeah, and he was okay and And they looked through it, and they're like, oh, Mr. Smith, huh?
I straight up do not believe you.
They were like, all right, you're good.Just go.And then we ended up going to Tasmania.He thought it was beautiful.He's never seen Australia.He's never been down in this hemisphere.So it was really good. We did a lot.We stayed in Hobart.
We went kayaking.We went kayaking.That was fun.We went mountain biking.In a cold ass lake that if you fell into, would kill you in five minutes.You'd go into shock and die.And there was also a giant gust of wind.
It was very windy and it would push you.And if it pushed you out into the middle, you couldn't row back.You could row back. The dude was pretty adamant.He said, yeah, if you get past a certain point, you're not getting past the wind.
And then he said, if you're out that far, you'd have to go to the other side of the lake and walk like 12 kilometers around to get back.Jesus, that sounds awful.It's like a light walk.
And normally, you know, I was like, you know, that sounds like fun.And so we did it and no one died.Lovely.It was great.And then we decided to go mountain biking.That was very fun.
You know, and for some fucking reason I thought, oh, a nice little mountain trail, like nice little bikes. For some reason, in my head, I thought, oh, it's going to be a nice, flat, scenic trail.On a mountain?It's going to, yeah.
Why did you think that?Because I had so much weed, dude.And I was just like, I thought mountain.And I was like, oh, yes, flat and beautiful.
You went mountain biking high as fuck?That sounds like a recipe for disaster.
I was sober, but not that it mattered, because when we We had to go up this mountain in like ATVs, they get dropped off with their bikes, and then they just go, okay, fine, meet you at the bottom.And then they just let you fucking go.
And so, like, nobody had... Just slide down, mate.
I had a blast.I was loving it.
Yeah, yeah, he loved it.He's from New Zealand.I've done it before.Yeah, I have not.Really, nobody in that group should have been going down that mountain.It was like, it was a beginner's slope, right?Yeah.
So this, this is what I thought, like this is completely flat new, like here at the bottom.And then there's like intermediate, which is up here.Yeah. This was the beginner course, like right underneath the threshold of intermediate.
Yeah, I mean, it's not about how long you have to go down the mountain, it's about how steep it is and how much it curves.Yeah. Dude.It wasn't that bad.It was that bad, dude.
You didn't even like fuck up at the, like halfway down, you fucked up right at the start.Did they give you training?On like a flat part.
Yeah, I'm so lost with this story.He flipped over the handlebars.
We're up on top, we're on top.On skis, a snowboard.No, it's a fucking bike, open your ears.Dude, I'm just enjoying this lovely scenery.
Have a fucking oyster.We're at the top of this mountain.
My friend's in front of me.People are behind me.And my friend's going slow.I'm picking up speed.Like, I go, yeah, I'm going to hit the brakes a little bit.I hit the brakes, and I'm not slowing down.And so I do it a little bit tighter.
And then I'm slowing down a little bit more.And my friend's pretty much going like a snail's pace in front of me.And I don't want to hit him, because we're on, like, this mountain trail.
then like maybe five feet to the left is like just drop off cliff.Yes.Like that goes down 10 meters and then it's a cliffside and then another 15 meters.And so I am being very cautious and so I break and before I know it I'm over my handlebars.
So you front braked as well?
I front braked, right over the handlebars, landed on my shoulders, skidded, like I was pretty close to the edge.I wasn't like halfway over, but I was close enough to nearly shit my pants.And so I, like, I'm just going...
The wind is completely knocked out of me.
I was like halfway down the mountain at this point and I just heard a scream and then I saw birds leave the mountain.
My shoulder was fucked. My leg was fucked and like, and so all the people behind me like stop and they're like, are you okay?And then some people, you know, ahead of us, like got off their bikes, ran up the trail.You okay?Holy shit.Set me up.
Manuel, Ryan's assistant was there. And he's like, holy shit, Swag, are you OK?And then his girlfriend Maria comes over.She goes, oh, let me help you up.And so she puts the bike, she takes the bike, and she leans it against a boulder.
And then a big rock, it's like the size of my fucking head, rolls off this boulder and right onto her foot.Like, directly onto her toes.And then it rolls off.And she just goes, oh, oh.And then everyone's like, are you OK?She goes, yeah, I'm fine.
And then she goes to walk.She's like, oh, this is bad.We're on the top of this fucking mountain. I'm under the impression nobody has a cell phone.They gave us wristbands that had an emergency contact number.
And I was under the impression nobody had a cell phone because nobody wanted to get their cell phone money, right?And so we start walking down this muddy trail.I can't go on the bike.Maria can't go on the bike.
So we're just descending, like slipping and sliding on this mud, going around these corners.And as we're going down, I'm like, This shit is winding and turning, and I'm like, if I didn't hurt myself then and there, it could have been so much worse.
Yeah, you had a lot of sharp turns to go.You're lucky you fell over on the flattest part.
Yeah, because I would have fucking died.I would have died.Ryan was supposed to go down that shit, dude.Manager Ryan was supposed to go down that trail.
I reckon Ryan can do it better than you.I think you have bad coordination with extreme sports.Do you remember when you skateboarded?
I do, this is an accusation, but do you remember when you fell off that skateboard with Tony Hawk and embarrassed yourself?I don't think that you went well suited to extreme sports at all. Dude, you had a helmet on?
I think that Ryan could have gone down that mountain no problem.
The only reason Ryan couldn't go up that mountain is because the staff caught him smoking a bong right in his car.They walk out to his car, they're like, oh, where's this guy?He just paid for everything.Let's go, let's go, like, get him suited up.
And they walk out, they go, hey, is everything ready?And like, he just, bong in hand, looking at him like, I'll just be a moment.They're like, you can't go up.
You're not going up.And he was like, oh.Literally, they're like, you are also extremely high. And so was everyone else, pretty much.
Yeah.To be fair, mountain biking is a pretty sketchy thing to do the first time you do it.Because it is like, you're just getting sent down a fucking mountain.
We went kayaking after the mountain biking.And when we did that, we talked to the dude that was setting it up.He goes, oh, you went mountain biking?Where'd you go?We told him.And he goes, oh yeah, like a month ago, someone died there.
Someone fucking straight up died.At least, I think they said like three people that died there in the time of being open or something. Yeah, no, in like the last three months.
Last three months?One a month, baby.
You ruined their record.Days before, days since last accident sign, we just saw the zero going up like as we arrived.
Yeah, the dude who checked me out when we went down, because he was like, yeah, I legally have to like check you and make sure you're good.And he was just like, Can you believe it's my last day on the job?I was like, really?He goes, yeah.
If this happened a day after, you'd probably have to go to a hospital.I was like, that's great.
I want to see SwaggerSoulz try surfboarding next.
And then maybe... We'll talk about going wakeboarding or some shit.Oh, wakeboarding would be sick.
And put me on a jet ski or something, dude.
Something with, like, control.If you go on a jet ski, you're going to get lost.
Dude, I'm sick of backflips on a jet ski.If you get me one, I'll do it over there.What is it with backflips?You keep hurting yourself.Oh, no, man.Just recover and repeat.
Recover and repeat.Both these guys are bad at extreme sports.What?It's close.
Recover and repeat actually reminds me, I had a friend when I was younger who was a competitive mountain biker and he was, he was recover and repeat.
Like it was just, it seemed like every fucking race he did, he would come back with like a severe back injury or like a broken leg or a broken arm or something.Just be in a cast for a couple of months and then back out there.
Yeah, it's like they say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Yeah.He's made entirely of titanium now.
I've never broken a bone.Neither.Have you? kind of hairline fracture and it was like a furniture that got worse because I kept walking on it and I didn't know it was fractured and I had to be in a cast for like three months so
And then I walked on my cast for like two weeks.
Because it was so fun.Dude, the crutches are so badass, this guy.
I tried your crutches, they suck.Under my arms was hurting for like four days.
I'm never having crutches.If I stubbed my toe, it was wheelchair time.
I just hopped around the house, screwed around on my crutches. Computer chair, easy as that.
The ones that you had were weird.They were like so old school looking.I'm used to those ones where they clamp around your head.You're used to the Walt Jr.creatures.Yeah, the Walt Jr.ones.
The fucking cerebral palsy creatures.Well, I'm not quite at that level, but you could be with a little bit of practice.You could look like Walt. Speaking of being decrepit, Queen died.
Cheers!Cheers to that old bag of bones.Rest in peace.It's probably going to be a while since she died when this comes out.She died recently.She died like last week.
I heard that she was reincarnated as Trisha Paytas' baby.
That's what Twitty was saying.So Trisha Paytas had a baby, like, after the Queen died?Well, like, her stomach dilated or something.Whatever the fuck happened.Her stomach dilated?I don't know why all you're talking pregnancy terms.
So basically, if you don't know how pregnancy works... Yeah, of course I don't know how pregnancy works.
So basically, the tummy, the tummy dilates and the baby's ready to go right through the... The doctors call it a navel, but it's more commonly referred to as the belly button. Okay, so it comes out the belly button?
So it'll dilate, and then the child would be pushed through the belly button canal.Pushed through the belly button.It'll be covered in a slim film of slime and goo.Okay.Interesting.
Can I FaceTime Elise and get you to explain this to her?Oh, she'd already know.The nurse told her something completely different.Seems like you'd be misinformed.
Yeah.He's a doctor.You can tell by his bow tie and his stupid chain mail.
Don't trust mainstream fucking big pharma, man.
Yeah. They know when their ships are bound.Trisha Paytas just had to steal the Queen's moment Did she and steal the Queen?She didn't.I thought the Queen lived her moment pretty well.
The Queen did live her moment well, but then Trisha Paytas had to be alone and be like, I'm also having a baby.Dude, think of all the depressed corgis.Three babies.Yeah, bro, corgis suck us down so bad right now.
The Queen was so heavily invested I sold it man the entire economy was I'm telling you $5 Aussie notes cuz they're going up in value.So true.
I'm telling you bro all your coins They're gonna be worth 10 bucks.We were having a conversation at a party last night about
When is the royal family that's not going to be so uncool that no one even wants to be the leader anymore?
Yeah, I'm waiting for this new guy, King Charles, to die and then for the new young, hip King William to come in and say, guys, royal family NFTs. It's just the Queen a QR code of the Queen.She pops up like a hologram on your phone.She goes.
Oh my days you're so young Who are the Grandchildren of the royal family right now who the young ones that are gonna grow up to be fucking leaders of the kingdom Prince Charles, isn't it?
Dude, I'm a goddamn American.I don't give a fuck
We were talking about how like there are some like newborns right in the royal family.Yeah.Yeah, sure like five-year-olds, right?
Yeah, James They can make they can make more kids at a moment's notice they just call it their cousins then boom I just feel like these people are like going to like posh private school and all of that classmates like yeah The royal family's cringe and they're just gonna not want to be fucking King Queen.
I don't know.I don't think I could turn down being the Queen.
If you were... Dude, I could execute all those people when they're older.
Would you imagine if like the... Can you deny being that?You'd be like, nah, I'm good.
You can, you can.Like we don't have anyone lined up.Are you sure about this?
That's what the silly little ginger guy did.The silly little ginger guy.Yeah, the silly little ginger.What's his name?
Prince Harry? Oh, Harry, yeah, yeah.Oh, that's the kid.No, no, it's not the kid.Prince Harry's the red guy.The red guy that was like, no, I don't want to be king.I don't want to be king.I want to date this actress.
Right.Oh, yeah, Meghan Markle.Yeah, Meghan Markle.She was on Suits, by the way.
She was on Suits.Yeah.She was on Suits.Isn't that weird?She never wore a suit, though, in Suits, did she?
I'm sure she probably wore a suit at least once.No, she just wore sexy dresses the whole time.Thank you very much.What does that mean?
You're on a show called Suits?
Yeah, well, she was like a paralegal.Paralegal?
Yeah, she's a paralegal.She wasn't even a real lawyer, dude.But if there's a paralegal, does that mean there's two?Yeah.Paralegals, too, yes.
I know this because it's on my client list.
There's a pair.It's a pair of legals.
Yeah, she was a Siamese twin, if you must know.What?
OK, what does her race hat have to do with anything?
Dude, when are we gonna have a gay queen?So true.
There's a really fantastic movie called The Favourite about a gay queen.Wait, is there such thing as a gay queen?Well, she's not actually gay.She just gets her pussy eaten a bunch by another woman.I mean, that sounds pretty gay.It's kind of gay.
I'm not gonna lie.It's kind of gay.She's kind of a gay queen.But it's a really good movie.It's good.
It's not gay unless you're like fondling each other's titties.
They were doing a bit of that as well.It was actually Emma Stone.Emma Stone ate the Queen's pussy in this movie.If I had socks.Oh, shit.I need to watch this movie.You would like this movie.It's very funny.Yeah.
If I had socks on.What?Socks.Socks? I don't follow him.He's saying it's only gay if your socks are on or something.
Oh yeah, is that what you tell yourself when you fall asleep every night?
Yes.And your boyfriend's on.Socks off.That's not my boyfriend.He's just a really good name.
Wait, so socks off it's not gay or socks on?You know what? It doesn't matter, mate.Socks on or off.Wait, what do you mean it doesn't matter?
You just said it sounds like it matters.
Some things are just best left unknown.It's okay to be gay.
As long as you keep your socks on.
What if they're UGG boots?UGG boots will fall out.
Yeah, UGG boots are gay by default.
Can I have some of my caviar?Can you pass the caviar, please?
Jesus Christ.I reached for it and you pulled it away.Yeah, that was really disrespectful.I'm sorry.Toby is starving. Queen died, the world's moving on, man.British people in shambles. fell off Great Britain.Someone's going to have to change the name.
They sort of just ran out of people to colonize, I think.And then they just stopped spreading.Yeah, shit Britain.And they kind of became irrelevant, you know?You know, they should try to colonize the internet.
It's like the last final frontier.
It is the last frontier.Or the metaverse.Or the metaverse.There's going to be so many colonist pigs in the metaverse just taking up virtual space.Can I box Mark Zuckerberg in metaverse? Yeah, dude, you can do anything in the meta-brewing.
Have you guys seen that footage of Mark Zuckerberg working out?
Dude, he looks insane in there, bro.He's got AI precision.Dude, yeah, he's maxed out.
And he's, like, thinking all these stocks while he's doing it.Stocks.
He's probably thinking about, I don't know, the meeting with Congress he has later that week.One of these days, he's just gonna beat up everyone in Congress when they ask him some dumb shit about Facebook.
He's just gonna get up there and slap the shit out of them.That's what he's training for.And then he's gonna eat some flies with his lizard tongue.
Yeah, I like to imagine that Mark Zuckerberg, whenever he smells something really good, his tongue slithers out of his mouth, his fourth tongue, and then he smells the air to get more of the scent.
Yeah.He's like, who do I fucking rip off next?
I mean, surely he's not motivated by money anymore, right?
No, it's just the sick kick and the thrill of fucking beating people.Facebook said it's Pete, man.What do you mean?It's gotta be the competition, right?
Did you just say Facebook said it's Pete?
I use it.Facebook owns Instagram, I guess.
Yeah, dude. I haven't heard many complaints about Facebook these days.It's only for old people.
Is that a pun for metaverse?
Read, dude, read.Just read anything.Just read anything.What's your favourite Goosebumps book?
I don't know, I was like 10 when I read them.What was the last book you read? Goosebumps.
No, legit, like the last book, front to back book.
Fuck, I don't know, Goosebumps.Which one?It must have been like, Skullduggery?Oh yeah, Skullduggery Pleasant.
One that isn't Goosebumps.Can you name any?Skullduggery.Anything that isn't by Oral Stein.Fuck, dude, you put me on the spot here. I'm the same.
I've read books.I read books.I promise.Oh yeah?Name five.I have a whole library in my house.Name five books.I have a whole library.
Name five books.Harry Potter 1, 2, 3.
I mean he named five books.Alright, now you name five books.Yeah, go on.
Alright, okay.We've got Brave New World.We've got 1984.Okay, let's go well please.We've got A Handmaid's Tale. You didn't read that.
What about the one about the mental asylum?Yeah.One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.I read that recently.
It's a great book.Good book.Gulag Archipelago.Did you just say Gulag Archipelago?Yeah, Mein Kampf.
It's another famous book.It's like a book about prisons in the Gulag and they're just singing archipelago.
Oh, that sounds great.Pitch slightly off.Snowpiercer.All right, this guy just clearly reads.
Yeah, we get it.What a pussy.What a bookworm.Nerd.You should try some Dr. Seuss one time.Yeah, you should read him on to be.Dr. Seuss is fire.Dr. Seuss, he's a racist.Yeah, but he's got some fire rhymes.
Yeah, it's true.I've been reading a lot of books lately.Yeah?Me too.Yeah, like I read this one about a little baby lion that's going to be king one day.
Yeah.I read it to a belly.
Oh, you're reading children's books to the belly?
What the fuck?Toby, if you ever... The baby loves it.It, like, kicks around and shit.
I was gonna ask, with your new baby on the way, your baby, Are you gonna, like, put headphones on the tummy and, like, shoot music into it?
You just, you just... I just had to stand there for two minutes.
Just old Fitz freestyle videos.
The baby's gonna come out.Oh, shit, is that Fitz?
The baby's gonna come out.You didn't tell me you were friends with Fitz!
The baby's gonna come out speaking in subtitles.
The baby's gonna come out, just fucking throwing up blood.He's Wu-Tang 36 Jamers, on repeat.
That's so cute, though.It's actually crazy, because you read them a book, and then you can see the fucking foot kicking and shit.Does the fetus have a Goodreads account?Stop fucking reading.What?Does the fetus have a Goodreads account?
Reviewing the Lion King?Like, yeah, it was kind of meh.Didn't really trust the narrative.
Well, it sucks, because this whole book is about a son and his father.
And now it's like, if I got you by my side, Dad, I'll be a great king. But, like, my son doesn't have a father.
Yeah, you need some lesbian-friendly children's books.
Yeah?There probably are a lot these days.Yeah.Times have changed.
Yeah.It's a great market.If you ever want to get into any market, get into the games.
Yeah, write children's books about women that eat pussy.Harlot's Web.Harlot's Web.You know what a harlot is, Mason?Would you like some more caviar?It's the promiscuous young woman.Oh.Yeah.
Good to know.Good to know.Have you ever seen Easy A?Yeah, also Emma Stone.Who's Easy A?Emma eating the Queen's arse is going to get her a stone.Why do you bring up Easy A?
Cuz you said harlots web, and it just reminded me of that cuz isn't she called a harlot see any good movies recently Mason Not really yeah I'd see it.
I didn't say that it's it's like overly like funny, but we're talking doesn't really make sense But it's we're talking about actual movies.
Oh Sorry, never mind I Thought we were talking about like sophisticated films like anal pirates 3 through 5.
What was that fucked up movie?We watched at the snow.
Oh fucking Sodom 100 days of Sodom.
Yeah, something like that.
Everyone should watch that
Have you seen... We ended up stopping the film right as they put nails in the cheesecake to feed the naked women and all I could think about was like, oh man, what actually happens after that scene?
The fact that we stopped there disturbed me more than I think the actual scene preceding would have.
It's the not knowing that's really killing.
Now I have to watch the whole movie.
I've watched Game of Thrones lately. Yeah, that's pretty interesting.A lot of interesting sayings for sure.A lot of titties in that.A lot of titties.
A lot of everything.But it's a good series.Yeah, they've just made the new one, or they're making the new one.The Dragons.House of the Dragons.A lot of titties in that too.Staying true to the series.Faithful.It's not bad.
Anyway, this has been the current media and literature section on the podcast.Yeah.
Queen died, books are good.
Book stocks are up, movie stocks down.
Movie bad.Don't buy Corgis anymore.You'll lose your money.
Yep, and fuck the geese, up them.Yeah, no swans.Swans.
Geese are okay.Geese are kind of like just average swans.
Yeah, geese are just shit swans.Do you want to win the grand final?
The footy grand final next week.Fuck off, we're not talking about the footy, you dog.The crowies!Dude, I was just saying, I'm banging him out because he doesn't know the teams.I was going to say, he's not even in it.
What is it?Is it, uh, it's, it's, um... Is Freemantle in it?
I don't even know.Is it Collingwood?
I was in a store the other day and this little kid was running around he had a lot of energy
And he kept running up to me and be like, who you rooting for at the footy tonight?And I just kept saying, I have no fucking idea, man.I honestly do not follow.And then he just looked so disappointed in me that I didn't know.
In his world, everyone knows.
You should have said, you know who I'm rooting for, man.You know who I'm rooting for.And then he would be like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, and so I just cussed this child out.
I mean some people do think that everyone follows footy.
It's true Everything just UFC footy good rugby game every now and then I will say live sports is something else You know seen it in this actual stadium.No, I haven't incredible.You know what?You've never seen a live sport Yes, I have.
Yeah.Dude, what's with you and water sports, mate?It was a girl pissing on herself in a tub.
Which team were you rooting for there?
Oh, fuck.I don't know, man.
It was... Rooting for your own mental health.
Really just rooting for myself there.Feeling like I've got to stop watching this shit.
Rooting for your erection. Got it.I don't know if erections are a funny thing.
Humorous.Humorous.You know what's funny about erections?What's that, Toby?Is that, for some reason, when you have an erection and you express some semen, you have this sudden clarity.
You no longer feel aroused. Yeah.Yeah.I don't know why that is.I guess because if you didn't have that, you would just keep fucking.
Dude, Mitchell showed me... That's probably a problem.
Yeah, you don't want to do that too much.
Mitchell showed me a Reddit post yesterday of a dude who told a story.It was, what's the weirdest place you've ever masturbated, right?Oh, yeah.Which is a great question we could all circle back to after this, but...
He said, what's the weirdest place you ever masturbated?And the guy said it was on train tracks.The guy was suicidal, and he was waiting for the train to hit him.So he was lying down for like 10 minutes, and he got bored waiting for the train.
And so he said, you know what?
I'm just going to have a wank.And he fucking beat off, came on these railroad tracks, and then he was like, He's pushed it clear, he's like, what are you doing, man?And then he got his life together.That's incredible.
And got some help.However, I feel like that's kind of just a roundabout way of him avoiding that he just has a train fetish. He just made up that story to justify himself.Maybe he's got a suicide fetish.
He was like, oh, since I'm already here, I guess I'll jerk off.No, he obviously went there with the intention of like, I love fucking trains so much.
Yeah, dude, he's like, oh, the train's coming by.He's like, yeah, look at that fucking caboose.Yeah, look at that fucking caboose.I bet you're packed with fucking coal.Yeah, you dirty little train fucking slut.Trains are dirty little sluts.
Train, that's a fun fact here.That's almost like a 100% guaranteed real fact by Fitz.Trains, dirty whores, dirty fucking, dirty, disgusting, slutty whore cunts.
Wow.You ever seen that guy?
That's straight from the Fitz's mouth.
That's straight from the Fitz's mouth.That's going to be the name of my new show.
Speaking of train finishes.Yeah.See that guy Francis that has the GoPro on his face?Yeah.And he loves trains.
Oh, he loves trains so much.
And then all of a sudden, starts working with Gucci and like Louis Vuitton.
I coined that with the Skyblock thing in Misfits.
You should be working with Gucci.Nah, that's it.Here's what we're going to do.What do you propose?We're going to kidnap him.
We're going to kidnap, what's the train guy's name?Francis.Francis the train spotter?
We're going to kidnap a kid named Francis.Yeah.
We're going to lock him up in a room and put a GoPro on his head?We're going to lock him up in a room, put a GoPro on his head.Just said that.
And then we're going to ask him, What's the weirdest place you ever masturbated, guys?Come on, back on top of you.
I'm not trying to think.I can't think of anywhere weird.I know I probably have, I just can't think of it.
Okay, all right.Everyone here is a fucking angel.Everyone here's an angel, right?No one here's ever jacked off in a high school bathroom.I have.
I was in high school.I haven't.I don't remember, but that's just the way I would have.I don't remember.It's over the urinal.I'm pretty sure I've jacked off on stream.
What?What?You slapped your fucking chorizo around on stream?
I didn't have a camera on.
Oh, what's the fun in that?
Let her finish the story.
What are you actually saying right now, though?He's just talking about weird situations in which... Is this a long stream and you're like, well, I'll get this out of the way now.Yeah, I don't really remember why I did it, but I did it.
Yeah, I think it was probably for the thrill.
Someone found that Vaughn.
I was the one who left the room.
I shouldn't say that.I found the Vaughn. Wait, so you were having a stream.Yeah, you were off cam.You turn the cam off.
Yeah No, I think my cam was like already off.Maybe like I saw something on Twitter or something.I was like, oh, that's kind of hot.That is actually crazy.Might as well have a quick jack while I wait for the viewers to get here.
You gotta unfollow those girls, man.
I have a fear of like my webcam being on during stream. So I always check my camera now when I walk off.
You mean like when you end stream, you're afraid of it still being on by accident, and then it catches you spanking your monkey?Yeah.I don't want to pull a preso.
I feel like every streamer's worst fear is that you're beating off to the point you know you shouldn't be beating off to.
You're like, am I live?Or how's it showing on the source?
Am I live?Dude, when I'm done with a stream, I turn everything off, I mute everything, so even if it was on, it would just be black and nothing.But dude, I've heard through the grapevine, some YouTubers, I'm not gonna name any YouTubers.
or streamers by name, because that would be bad.But I heard, like, some of them have completely different setups for streaming.What?Streaming and gaming.And then one is just straight up for porn.
And look, sure, you want to be safe, but also, what fucking porn are you watching, bro?What the fuck are you watching, man?You know, what is it?
I feel like that's just something you do. That sounds like something that you would do 100%.
You just said you knew everything.What do you mean?I have two centers.You're very secretive about your identity, though.
Yeah, I don't give a fuck.You know, people watch.I watch pretty... Compared to everyone else, I watch relatively normal porn.
I wish I could say the same.
Why'd you say compared to everyone else?
How do you know?What do you think we watch, huh?I think everyone kind of watches pretty fucked up shit these days. No?You don't trust me?All right.I'm trying to think about the strangest place I've ever jerked off.
Yeah, I was the only one that said anything, and now I'm worried.I don't think I've done it in a plane before.It's illegal.
I know.Maybe I did it just because, though.I think I had a wet dream on a plane once.Really?Yeah, which is terrifying.I never had a wet dream.Because you're like, what did I do when I was sleeping?
You never had a wet dream?Never.
You've never had a wet dream?Never.
Bullshit.You've never had a dream where you were just fucking?Yeah, always.Yeah, but I never, like, hump in the dream.
Well, no, no.It's like an ooze.
No, never.Never have woken up sticky.
I've obviously pissed myself We gotta get this guy a pipe cleaner cuz something's flying Cleaner and fucking ramrod that shit down my tank.Just me.
I think yeah, that's the thing if you have an empty tank It's not gonna happen.I've been well.
How do you have an empty tank balls sucked flat, bro?I've just been I've been orgasming since before I even produced come I
I mean, I think where dreams only occur when you haven't came in a while.Yeah.Yeah, surely you have to have a build up.
Yeah.Now?We're in the middle of a podcast, man.All right, I'll be right back.Really?Really?OK.Can we come with you?Yeah.All right, cool.If you want.I just have to call this person back.Yeah, no worries.
Let me finish this piece of steak and I'll join you.
The steak is amazing.So yummy.Thank you.Sensational. Delightful.Part of me wants to get a piece of steak and put a little bit of caviar on it.I think that might be sacrilegious.You should do that.
Yeah, I should do that.If only you could reach the caviar.
Let me just get up.Can you believe how rude that bastard is?What a bastard.That's my thing.You can't say bastard.What a cocksucker.That's OK.A little bit of cav.I feel forced. Dude, cocksucker isn't something that Aussies say.
For New Zealanders, cocksucker.
You call him like a tosser.Does tosser come from salad tosser, which means anal sex?That's not what tossing your salad is.Isn't tossing your salad anal sex?
Yeah man, I'll see you in about half an hour. Bring the package.I'll meet you there.He's actually on the phone.
Oh, wait, was that real?I thought he was having a cigarette.He's actually on a call.What the hell?Who's calling him?Anyways, what I'm trying to say is I don't think I've really ever been one to jack off in unusual places.
I don't think I've ever even jerked off outside.
Have you jacked off at a friend's house?
Oh.No.No.I 100% have.I've jerked off staying at a place with friends, but that's normal.Yeah, that's not the same.It's like a multiple day situation.Not even once.
Ryan says that he thinks that I've jacked off at his house, which is only partially true.I've jacked off to Ryan's house.
The house has some curves, I have to admit.Very busty house.
Like, when you go to like a fast food restaurant and you see the giant stack of cups, that gets me so fucking horny.
The package is coming around seven.What?Seven o'clock.What?What?Seven o'clock, that's all I'm saying.
What does that mean?I don't know.It's just something about like all the cups.It's like, I think it's the cup size that really gets me off.
I think he just jacks off.I think he's just saying that he likes to jerk off.
I imagine you're being publicly in McDonald's.What sort of cup size are you into, Swagger?Small cups?Big cups?Go with a Grande.Grande.
Really, you like those big boys.
There's one above Grande, right?Venti?
Venti.That's below.That's one below.And Grande's the big one, like Ariana.I thought Venti was the biggest.
I feel, isn't it fucking like, doesn't it make you so fucking angry that Ariana Grande's last name is Grande when she herself is actually quite small in frame?I gotta say, of all the things in the world.It should be more like Ariana Petit.
Like Ariana Petit, you fucking bitch.
Sorry.That's all right.It's like it hates women.You're doing that thing again.
I don't hate women, I just hate, look, I got this suit, the sleeves, Remind me of Ariana Grande, and it pisses me off.
Ah, yes.I see, yeah.So it's not because you're a raging misogynist?That's like part of it.
Yeah, like a little bit.I mean, it's in all of us.It's normal.We're all jealous of Ariana Grande, because she got to fuck Pete Davidson.And he just looks like he's got a little dirty bush.Pete Davidson?
Are you getting Pete Davidson confused with Bank Miller?No, she also dated Pete Davidson.Are we really talking about this right now?Sorry, not important.
Fun fact, Pete Davidson's got Crohn's.
That's why his eyes are so sharp.
Oh my god, that makes sense.That's why he's so funny.
He looks like he has Crohn's.
What the fuck have I walked back into?Why did you say it's 7 o'clock?What does that mean?We'll talk about it after.
All right.Yeah.Even though it's what?What's the time?It's a little secret.
I thought you were like giving me directions.Like 7 o'clock.
I can just walk that way.
All right.Well, I reckon we've reached that point in the podcast where we talk about the video that we recently shot. Videos?Videos.I mean, we shot a couple videos.Yeah.
But I think the most exciting one to talk about is that we all did stand-up comedy recently.Yes, we did.Crazy.Which is nuts.Crazy experience.Fucking ridiculously nerve-wracking video idea.Never doing that again.Never doing that again.
I'd maybe do it again.Maybe something similar.I don't know about writing five minutes of stand-up again.
To be fair, it was a short period that we had to write it.I reckon if you had a few months... Even then, man, no.Because your set was great.
Okay, here's the video, just so that the viewers are all clued in and on board with us.So we had the idea, it was actually my idea, that the Misfits each do... Thank you.Well.
You know you're welcome because you all did great The idea was this the idea was to get a bunch of you guys quite a funny bone funny Mason actually said it's funny, but not funny not funny man.All right.Can I talk about the video idea now?
Is that okay with disgusting? The idea was this, we get a bunch of Australian comedians, well-known professionals, people that are funny for a living, good at their jobs, right?Like who?Like Lewis Spears.He's pretty funny.Like Luke Kijil.Yeah.
Like Mark Rubin.Like Frenchie.
These were the comedians that we got on board for our video.And each of them is assigned to us.It was us four that did it.So Matt and Jay did not partake in the stand-up, because it's fucking terrifying.I mean, fair enough.
Hey, he can't hold it against him.That is a terrifying concept for a video.
I didn't want to do that shit.
Yeah, we each got assigned an Aussie comedian that was kind of going to be our coach.And we were all going to work on material and basically do five minutes each live in front of our fans into a theater.
Yes, pitch to us as a crowd of 80 people.
Yes, the amount of tickets that we agreed to sell was 80.We're like, that's manageable.We can do that.
Because it was like, oh, that's a lot of stress.We're going to be doing it in front of a crowd of people.What if we bomb?We'll start small.We'll start small with just 80.
But anyway, I mean, we all kind of agreed to the idea pretty quickly.But then I think the reality set in and we realized just how difficult this was going to be and how terrifying this was.It was easy.
Yeah, it was so easy.Mason flip-flopped for a few weeks about whether he was going to do it or not.
Last second, breezed it out.No fucking issue, mate.
Yeah, I'll do that when he was drunk.And then he's like, I don't think this is actually my speed guys.I don't think I can do this.But then.
You're just, you're talented.
Then to your credit, you, you fucking went ahead and you did that shit.
Yeah.I'm going to sell, wait, I heard you were going to sell your, your script.
No, no, I'm not gonna sell it.I'm selling mine.I'm framing mine and keeping it as a memento.Yeah, okay.
NFTs?NFT.Everything we do from The Misfits, we NFT portrait it.We're just fucking business, aren't we?You know Logan's 99 Originals?Yep.Actually, honestly, that was sick.
Exactly.Except ours is scuffed.And I think we can sell the scripts.
Wow.We stand to make a lot of money from this.It's not like we're already going to make the scripts valueless by releasing a video where we say them out loud.
I think at least a band.At least a band, and a band is a band.
At least a band.But a good band, though.I reckon you could... Like ACDC.I reckon basically it's up for a grant.
They're a good band.We live in this area.We live near Crown.Yep.You turn that band... On to 32 on roulette.The gambling you're talking about.No, no, no, no, no.It's not gambling, but it's a team exercise.
So it's a tax write-off.It's a net positive, because everyone's having fun.It's not a tax write-off.Sorry, sorry.If you win, you don't pay taxes.Listen, this is good jokes, mate, but I'm talking serious business.So running on 32.Yep.Times 36.Yep.
Then we buy stocks in Apple.
What's 1,000 times 36?Enough for Apple to make more.
What does that even mean?
Did you just say, what's 1,000 times 30 sets, and he didn't answer?
Listen, we're not doing simple math here.We're thinking long term.
Listen, we're talking about a video that we just shot that was really funny.
OK.I was just showing my stand-up skills.
So we all get to write in our material.Well, most of us get to write in our material.And we all took different approaches to how we were going to, yeah, like, work out what we were going to say.
We had three weeks.Yeah.We had basically about three weeks to write a five-minute set. to memorize and then perform that five-minute set without looking at notes optimally.
Yeah, three weeks for people that have no stand-up experience to write a five-minute set.It's a reasonable ask.
Yeah.I mean, I was looking up, like, how, because, you know, stand-up's a scary thing.I think most people can acknowledge the idea of getting up on stage and trying to be funny and make people laugh is terrifying.
And I looked it up, and apparently, like, public speaking is the number one fear for most people.
People fear public speaking.It goes public speaking, number one fear.
Second, buying a house.Oh, really?Third, dying.Oh, wow.
I didn't know about the house one.
So as soon as I buy a house, right before it goes through, if I haven't died, So far, so good.
That's why the checklist is like that.We did the stand-up, now it's time to buy a house, and I'll fucking kill myself, and it'll be awesome.I have nothing left to fear.
But it was great.The coaching was very helpful.Finding me a coach was difficult, though.First, we tried to find me a gay coach.
Because we were like, that would work, because Toby's gay.
They could help with some gay jokes and such.Gay comedian couldn't come through.So we thought, let's get a woman. Female comedian.Yeah.Very hard to come by.Yeah.Yeah.Exactly.She also fell through.Yeah.At the end of it.
Not because she wasn't funny, you fucking misogynist.
But because she had an issue in her schedule.
Yeah.Yeah.So, as usual, they dumped me with a straight white man.Yes.And he was fantastic.
He was great.Dude, straight white people saved the day yet again.Yeah.Listen, I wouldn't go that far, but...
It was funny.Toby, unfortunately, left it to the very last minute or it was kind of because you got paired up so late.You had like three days to prepare properly.
Yeah.So I had notes written down, but my notes were like general jokes.They hadn't been like solidified as like decent jokes yet.It was more just me like writing down random shit.Yeah.And then.Yeah.
So originally I was meant to come down to Melbourne early and and meet with my coach early, but just because we struggled to find someone for me, I got left to last minute.So I met with the coach two days before the shoot.
So two days before we did the stand-up, we wrote the stand-up, and then I had a day to practice it. And somehow it actually went well.It went really well.
I mean, for the record, get it out of the way, everyone did really, really well.And it was such a good night.We were all like pacing backstage.
We were nervous as fuck.He didn't have a set until like a day or two days before when he actually started thinking about it.We go, it would have been three days before the fucking show.Hey Mason, how are you doing? Oh, it's in my head.
I'm going to leave it to the last minute.So it's fresh in my head.
Just the baddest excuse.I still winged it pretty well.You did great.
You did great.I mean, it was fresh in your head and you knew.
Well, like, because that's how my brain works.I do shit last minute and everything works out.It was so fresh in his head that he just made it up on the spot.
It was so fresh in his head he forgot, like, one of the core bits or couldn't do one of the bits.
It was wrong, by the way.I was supposed to shoo him, but I went up and said the joke.Just didn't. correlate to any of the stand-up.
He literally was given a coach to go through his routine.His coach was like, all right, you know, you're going to do this, this, and this.And he goes up, does that, that, and that.
And then also a completely separate joke story that he didn't tell his comedian pal.But anyways, like, We had all this time to prep, we prepped, and then the day of, how did everyone feel?How was everyone doing on the day?
I felt fine leading up to it, and it wasn't until like the last hour or like hour and a half where I started feeling like shit, like I feel a bit sick, like I don't... I'm pretty anxious.
But then, you know what turned it around for me was when we heard Lewis get up on stage and when I heard how excited everyone in the crowd was and how loud and vocal they were, it was like all the fear just went away.
And I was like, no, this is going to be great.
They're excited for us.When Lewis told the crowd what the video, because the crowd didn't really know what they were going to see that night.And Lewis was like, tonight you're going to see the Misfits all attempt stand-up comedy for the first time.
And the crowd was kind of like, ooh.Yeah, they were all like. And then Lewis was like, aw.And I looked at Mitchell, and I was like, they don't believe in us.They obviously don't believe in us.
Because they were like, ooh.And then he goes, dude, I had such bad nerves.The day before was really bad.And then the day of, I woke up that morning, I was like, I'm going to have something to eat.
I had like an arancini ball, which is literally deep-fried rice and cheese.
He said arancini for those of you who didn't fucking understand.
And the arancini ball, yeah. Right?Okay?So I had it, and expecting it to sit in my stomach snugly.And so, I get a call from my friend back home.He goes, oh, it's your stand-up comedy thing today, dude.Oh, it's gonna be so great.
And I was like, dude, I'm shitting myself.He goes, it's okay, just run me through your routine.Like, let me hear your routine.Practice.And I was like, okay. I get halfway through my set on the phone with him, and I just start gagging.
And I'm like, dude, I've got to be right back.And I just munt, just straight up in the toilet, munt for a solid good five minutes, go back to him.He's like, dude, are you going to be OK?I'm like, I have no fucking idea.I was just sick.
I was super anxious.We finally get there.We rock up.Toby's doing her stand-up. like a rehearsal with your comedian.And Ruben is shining lights in her eyes, and like streaming and heckling.
The idea was that your first time doing stand-up comedy is so stressful, and you're so not ready for it, that it's good to kind of get you used to doing your set with all the distractions.
So he gets up on stage and starts off simple with like shining lights in my eyes, like swearing I said, and doing stuff like that.Then he pulls a fake mustache out of his bag, puts a fake mustache on, grabs a gun,
And like stop your set It was this big gun that looks super realistic It was like a 1911 cap gun and it was like it had weight to it and it was great and after that bit was done I'm still shitting my pants and I'm still so nervous and I have these butterflies in my stomach that won't fucking go away And I go up to Reuben after he's done.
I go Reuben Can I hold on to that gun?And he just started laughing.He's like, yeah, dude, sure.And as soon as I held the gun, dude, I felt in control.My nerves went away.I was like, it's OK.Nothing can hurt me.I have a gun.
And I ended up using it in my set.You did.But we're waiting backstage.I think everyone else is in the green room.I'm out front, right behind the stage.And Louis is opening up the show.
And he does the whole, it's this misfit's first attempt at comedy.People are like, ooh.And then he goes, yeah, they think you're coming out to only 80 people.And then I hear. A roar of laughter.And I was like, there's no way that's 80 people.
And then he goes, yeah, it's more like 300 in here.And I'm like, what?You're stitched up.And I look around and Ryan and Mitchell's there.Mitchell has the camera.And I'm like, you fucking assholes like that.And then he goes, don't tell them.
Don't tell them.Like they didn't hear.Don't tell them.So I had to keep it a secret.
I still had no idea.You went out first.I went out first.So I was very nervous on the day, but I wasn't as nervous because I had actually practiced my material in front of open mics a couple weeks before.
So I wrote my set, and then I linked up with Lewis, who was my coach, Lewis Spears.And he took me to where you would start comedy in Melbourne normally.He took me to this underground bar.
where I performed my material in front of like 15 people, which was awful and terrifying.I was so nervous.I think 15 people is kind of worse than like a huge crowd.It was like five members of the public and then like 10 comedians.
That's a good ratio.And they had no idea who I was.
The comedians would probably have a tendency not to laugh.
It's more judgmental.And it's competitive.They were really kind actually. You know, I was so nervous, though.I took my little book up with me, where I'd written down everything I was going to say, like, out completely in freehand.
And, you know, I kind of kept looking down at that.And I don't know, this footage of me performing, and I just looked so not confident.And then right after that, I did pretty well, though, like, to be fair.Like, I got good laughs.
And like, it gave me confidence that my material worked.And right after that spot, I went to another place, which was more like, 30 people, maybe like 35 people in a more well-lit environment.So you got two attempts before the main thing.
I did, I got two attempts in one night.Fucking lucky you, mate.Well, you could have done that if you wanted.
I took initiative.The thing about a crowd of like 15 people is that If you've got a crowd of 300 and half of them don't laugh at one of your jokes, you've still got 150 people laughing.It's still loud, it's still crazy.
If you have a crowd of 15 and half of them don't laugh, you'd notice it.
You'd get one person going, huh?But yeah, it went really well in front of 30 people as well.And after that, I had a huge rush of adrenaline.Like, OK, I've actually performed the material now.I know it kind of works.
Now I know what I need to work on, what I need to change.
Props to you though, because if you hadn't stood on stage first, I don't think anyone else probably would have been keen to.I don't know.I mean, it's like, because we were all fucking peasant.I was kind of keen to get it out of the way first.
I had to go last, dude.It was so awful.I was just waiting.
I originally thought I was going to be, I thought Mason was first and then it was going to be me, then Swagger, then Fitz.And then I get there on the day and and I hear that Fitz is up first, and I'm after Fitz, and I was like, fuck.
Like, Fitz is the one that's, he's practiced, he's got experience and everything.Like, I was really hoping he was going to be last to, like, close it out nicely.
But we're, like, getting the person with experience out of the way right away, and then I have to follow it, and I was a little stressed about having to follow Fitz.
You said that when you got on stage, like, ah, I can't believe I had to follow this guy, what the fuck.
It went well, dude.Everyone's set was uniquely theirs.
I mean, what a feeling when you're done.What a feeling when you tell your joke and you get a response from 300 people live and they're all laughing.
Totally addictive feeling.When I wing my story, I don't know how I pulled that off.
Luke and Lewis were saying that they thought my set was the best set they've heard about being trans ever.I was like, fuck, that's...
Dude, it was a great set because it wasn't preachy, because it wasn't like virtuous.It was just straight funny.It was a straight joke.
And you just had such a good story as well.
Yeah, the story is so fucking funny.
But you know, we did like a bunch of workshops with our comedian.We helped each other out during the whole thing.I didn't do anything.I just gabbed him with friendship.This guy went out with his comedian.
Tell us what you did with your comedian.We just got Maccas, drank a couple beers at a pub. fanged a wheelchair around in the suburbs.Oh yeah, because this was after he did his backflip and fucking hurt his foot.
Yeah, because I couldn't walk properly.
So he was in a wheelchair.So I had to be in a wheelchair. And then we just drank beers, fanged around in the wheelchair in the streets and then just gambled.You went to Crown, what happened?I put $25 on zero on green on roulette, somehow won.
Times 32 I think.Yep, that's crazy.
You would have made away with like a grand.
Yeah, I don't know how I won that.
Well it was a good omen for the night.Two wins back to back. It was so funny because it was like, like Ruben came to the office and we sat down.It was there was like 10 of us in this and this like conference room.
And we were sitting there for a few hours chatting through my set, like getting it nailed out.And then Mason, right afterwards, his workshop was just him going out and getting wasted.Yeah.Yeah. And it worked out for you.
That warmed me up for the night.I don't know how I win that story.
I pulled a Minecraft joke out last.We won't spoil any else of the material.I can't wait to see the video come together.Is this going to be after the...
No, this is gonna go out before the video goes out.Don't we still have one more video that goes out?
Yeah, there's another video dropping soon as well, which, you know, we won't get into.Maybe we'll let that be a surprise.
I think that one should be a surprise.
Yeah, yeah.So, you know, point is, Misfits are back.We're filming content again, and it's going fucking well.This stand-up show was exciting, man.I'm never doing it again.Yeah, well, now you can say you did it, man.
You performed in front of 300 people.
And you sold out a show you sold out you sold out sold out sold out to people I didn't even know we're gonna Yeah, it's cool man, we're fucking excited and we really well it'll be out before you know it really It's not gonna take us long to film to edit is the Tazzy video.
You're not going to be waiting another year, by the way.
But that year still kicked off pretty well.Yeah.Yeah.Cheers, everyone.
Cheers to GamerSups.To GamerSups.For sponsoring the podcast and all of our videos.Use code Misfits for 10% off your order.
We do.They support the fuck out of us.And if you watch the Tasmania video, right, if you've seen the Tasmania video where we put GamerSups in a fire and it turned it blue and you actually believe it, you're fucking,
Don't get some gamer subs and fucking try it.Burn some gamer subs to see if it turns the fucking fire blue.I read like three or four comments.Right?
I read three or four fucking- Why are you so upset?
There's like three comments that's- Because it's me smirching the good name of gamer subs and I want to set the fucking record straight.
We were the ones that smirched the good names of gamer subs.
We put, we put fucking color-changing packets in the fucking fire to make it blue.GamerStumps didn't make the fucking fire blue.
And if you think I'm a fucking liar, and you think I'm a fucking show, and you can't trust me, then buy some GamerStumps and set it on a fucking fire.Okay?
Okay.Let's maybe stop telling the audience to set GamerStumps on fire.It is sick.
I talked to the CEO and he said, and I quote, I don't recommend snorting Gamer Subs, but I would prefer to snort Gamer Subs as opposed to smoking it.
So if you're like one of those crazy people that are like, I want to smoke some Gamer Subs, don't do it. It's way better to snort it, but also don't snort it.Or just drink it.
You're better off drinking.Just drink the fucking thing.
You're better off drinking.Actually, don't snort or smoke Game of Sups.And use code Misfits 10% off.Just drink it.Or have your head.Have your head.
Man, he's so good at endorsing products.
Let me tell you what.Let me just redo that.No, no, I'm kidding.
No, no, no.Dude, do like a liesuit thing.Be like, if you think it turns the fire blue, then you're going to get hit with litigation.
If you think this, if you think the Game of Sups turned the fire, If you think the gamersubs turned the fire blue, you're probably thinking they turned the frogs gay too.But let me tell you this.This powers your energy while gaming.Any game.
You can have zero hours and you'll be the best.Code Misfits, allegedly.And that's why... Code Misfits.
Hey guys, that's the end of the podcast.We hope you enjoyed listening once again.
It's good to be back.This has been the Misfits Podcast.Should we mention if we're going to be doing this a little bit more frequently?
Yeah, it'll happen when it happens.Yeah, like, you know.We'll see you soon.It'll be another great podcast coming up.We've got to get that package.Yeah, we do have to get that package.That's true.
Anyway, I think that concludes our business of the evening.It's been a pleasure talking to you, gentlemen, ma'am.Pleasure.Pleasure.I'll see you next time.Oh, actually, let's go smoke cigars, I guess.Yeah, let's do that.
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