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Episode: You don't have to do anything!

Author: Michelle Chestovich MD
Duration: 00:11:21

Episode Shownotes

Physician coach Michelle Chestovich MD shares a way to take back control that is simple and effective.

No more doing it all!Want to get your notes done faster? Join me at my free masterclass:https://mamadoclifecoaching.myflodesk.com/q7jopfafdjThe CE experience for this Podcast is powered by CMEfy - click here to reflect and earn credits: https://earnc.me/fuuGVf

Full Transcript

00:00:00 Speaker_00
You are listening to Episode 154 of the Remind Yourself Podcast. Welcome to the Remind Yourself Podcast, the podcast for physician moms just like you who want to ditch mom guilt, stop yelling, and start enjoying their lives today.

00:00:21 Speaker_00
I'm your host, Rachelle Chestevich, certified life coach, family physician, and mom of four. If you want to overcome overwhelm for once and for all, this is the place for you. Hello, Mama Docs, and welcome back. Happy last week of February.

00:00:41 Speaker_00
And if you have a birthday on February 29th, I just want to wish you an extra special birthday this year. Today, I want to share with you a very simple concept that gives you back control.

00:00:54 Speaker_00
Sometimes life feels out of control and you're doing all the things and feeling very overwhelmed. This is something that I hear on the regular. And do you know what can make a real big difference?

00:01:04 Speaker_00
It's just understanding and recognizing that you don't have to do anything. So many people say, I have to get up early and exercise before work. I have to make my kids lunch. I have to work an extra shift this week.

00:01:21 Speaker_00
And it makes people feel very overwhelmed. It makes you feel very obliged. And more than that, it makes you feel very stuck in life. When you feel like you don't have any choice and that life is just being forced upon you.

00:01:38 Speaker_00
And I just want to remind you that you are adults in your life and you have way more agency than perhaps you remember. You do have choice. And again, it is indeed true that you don't have to do anything, including paying your taxes.

00:01:57 Speaker_00
Now, certainly there will be consequences if you don't, but if you choose not to do things, That is a choice. That is up to you. And sometimes that simple acknowledgement to yourself, I don't have to do this. can chill us out a little bit.

00:02:16 Speaker_00
Remember when you were a kid and you were told that you have to do something?

00:02:19 Speaker_00
I mean, maybe you folks weren't as stubborn as me and I'm sure my dad who's listening today, hi dad, would attest I was a bit stubborn and I was asked to do things or perhaps told to do things and I balked against it because I didn't want to be told what to do.

00:02:34 Speaker_00
And even as an adult, I have a little bit of that. And so when I think to myself, oh, I have to go run five miles today because that's what my training program says, Sometimes I'm excited about it. And at other times I'm like, I don't want to do that.

00:02:47 Speaker_00
Or I have to, you know, go to this event of my child. I'm really not excited about it, but I have to. Sometimes just taking a moment, taking a step back and saying, no, actually, I don't have to do anything. I don't have to do that.

00:03:02 Speaker_00
I don't have to go for a run today. I don't have to go to the band concert. And then we get to get into the next phase and see what comes up for yourself. You may feel a little relief.

00:03:15 Speaker_00
And or you might think to yourself, but I kind of want to, you know, I'm training for this half marathon, so I don't want to show up on that day without any miles underneath my belt, right?

00:03:27 Speaker_00
So I do actually want to and that alone can make a huge difference. Same thing with a band concert, same thing with anything it is that you're thinking, oh my God, I have to do this.

00:03:39 Speaker_00
When you really realize like, no, I don't have to do this, but I want to do it because you get more clear. You take back control instead of feeling like life is happening to you and you've just got a list of all these things that you have to do.

00:03:54 Speaker_00
For goodness sakes, take ownership. Realize that indeed, you do have a choice, right? And when you think about it, you think, I want to do it because of this, or I get to do this, because really, there's nothing that you have to do.

00:04:10 Speaker_00
You don't have to get out of bed. You don't have to feed your children. Most of us like want to do that. Most of us want to get up. Most of us want to have a job so we can earn money and pay for a home and food and things like that.

00:04:22 Speaker_00
Most of us want to care for our family, right? And so claim it. And it's so interesting how when you claim it, it feels less heavy. Because when you have that heavy layer of dread and feeling obliged and stuck because I have to do all of the things.

00:04:43 Speaker_00
You know, we get a little ornery. We get a little bit like a martyr and we want to show everyone that we have to do all the things and we don't show up perhaps in our life how we want to.

00:04:55 Speaker_00
But when we recognize we could wipe our entire slate clean and then realize, no, this is what I'm choosing. This is what I want.

00:05:04 Speaker_00
On the flip side, if you take a step back and you're like, you feel tremendous relief when you think, no, I don't have to be on that committee anymore. It gives you permission also to say, no, thank you. I'm no longer interested in this.

00:05:18 Speaker_00
you start to think about your life a little bit differently and create more of a life that's in alignment with what it is that you truly want.

00:05:26 Speaker_00
So not only does this approach help you feel less heavy because you realize I don't have to do all these things, it helps you take stock of what it is that I really want on my calendar. What is it that I really want to be doing?

00:05:39 Speaker_00
So it really helps you in those two ways. My favorite, though, is that it just helps you realize that, hey, I do have a choice in the matter.

00:05:48 Speaker_00
And, you know, even about going to work, if you're like, oh my gosh, I have to go to work, I don't love my job, take a step back. You don't have to do it.

00:05:56 Speaker_00
Well, I went to medical school and I did all this training and I have to do it and, you know, my community relies on me. Here's what I'll tell you. You don't have to do anything, even if you have a medical degree.

00:06:06 Speaker_00
If you do not want to practice medicine any further, you certainly don't have to. Most of us want to because we're like, wow, this is really interesting and I've got this ability to help people in a very unique way.

00:06:17 Speaker_00
But perhaps I need to rethink about what it is that I'm not enjoying about this and how could I maybe make some changes or set some boundaries to make it more realistic. But just giving yourself permission to realize, hey,

00:06:31 Speaker_00
None of this is 100% necessary. Nothing. Gain back the power and realize you get to choose.

00:06:41 Speaker_00
Now, it might sound a little bit silly to some of you, but it really does make a difference to realize that you have much more agency than just being like, oh, I have to go through life doing all these things, going to this committee.

00:06:53 Speaker_00
I have to add on all the extra patience. I have to sit here and do all this. No, you don't. And when you take a look at all of the things that are kind of coming up in your head, like, oh my gosh, I have to do it.

00:07:04 Speaker_00
Another thing that you can do is just think, huh, if I really don't want to do this, but I want the outcome, what else could you do? Perhaps this is something that you delegate to someone else. Perhaps this is something that you, you know, automate.

00:07:18 Speaker_00
household duties, things like that, perhaps you hire help. There are so many solutions. But when you're feeling obliged, when you're feeling stuck, when you're feeling sorry for yourself that I have to do it all, you don't

00:07:34 Speaker_00
take the time to think of other solutions. So that's the third wonderful thing that this little pause and step back helps you to realize is, wait a minute, I have options. I don't have to do it, but I want the outcome. How else could I get this? Right?

00:07:52 Speaker_00
You are such a brilliant physician. I know that you have ideas in your mind, but we just need to like shake it up a little bit right now. Your brain is feeling stuck in, I have to do it all. It's like a badge of honor that many of us wear.

00:08:06 Speaker_00
And I'm telling you, it's okay to take off that heavy badge and say, enough, I'm putting this down. When I do things, I'm going to own it. And I'm going to say, I choose to do this. I get to do this.

00:08:20 Speaker_00
And if you don't want to do it, I'm making a decision to have someone else help me with this. You have so much more power than you realize. Very simple this week. Just wanted to share that with you. It's come up a little bit in the group coaching.

00:08:34 Speaker_00
Perhaps came up with a teen daughter of mine when she was saying she had to do all the things. And just the look of relief on her face when she just realized, oh, I do have more control than I think. Right?

00:08:47 Speaker_00
So I hope this message is helpful for you and give it a try. Next time you catch yourself saying, oh, I have to do this, stop yourself and think about how it is that you actually want to show up to that situation.

00:09:02 Speaker_00
I'm excited for you to give this a try. And I imagine that you're going to feel a little bit of a weight lifted off your shoulders.

00:09:09 Speaker_00
Another thing that I wanted to talk to you about is that I know many of you are spending hours at night and on the weekends catching up on your charting and your messages. And I just want to say that that is another thing that you no longer have

00:09:23 Speaker_00
to do. If you've not yet come to my Masterclass, and even if you already have, please come again. On Sunday, March 10th, I'm going to be doing my free How to Get Your Notes Done Masterclass, and you definitely want to be there.

00:09:36 Speaker_00
I've got some new strategies as well as the old proven strategies that work. This is an amazing class and it can change your life.

00:09:44 Speaker_00
I've had people show up to the class and they gain back 10 hours just from applying the very simple strategies that I share with you. So if you have not yet signed up, click on the link in the show notes and please share it with your friends.

00:09:58 Speaker_00
Life is too short to be charting at night. I want you to have your weekends free. Spring is coming and summer is just around the corner. So let's figure out a way for you to get your notes done faster so you can have your evenings and weekends back.

00:10:14 Speaker_00
I can't wait to see you on Sunday, March 10th. Click on the link in the show notes today. And finally, before I say goodbye, I just want to remind you that I am now offering CME via CMFI for every podcast that I produce this year.

00:10:33 Speaker_00
Click on the link in the show notes and get credit where credit is due. You listen, you learn, and you can get credit via CMFI and this is free to you. So again, take advantage of this opportunity. The link is in the show notes.

00:10:49 Speaker_00
Okay, my friends, a lot of exciting things coming up. You be well, and until next week, peace and love to all of you. Are you ready to take control of your life and put these tools into action? I'm here to help.

00:11:03 Speaker_00
I offer free consultations for physician moms to see if my one-on-one coaching package is right for you. You can sign up for a free consult at www.MamaDocLifeCoach.com.