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Episode: The 49ers in Shambles, a Possible RUSSurrection, NyQuil Bill, Yankee Hating, and Bad Parenting With Cousin Sal

Author: The Ringer
Duration: 01:57:25

Episode Shownotes

The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to discuss the end of the Mets' postseason run before reacting to another Jets flop (2:07) and identifying cross-off teams. Plus, the 49ers' rough season continues as the Chiefs move to 6-0. They then get into Browns-Bengals (22:58), Lions-Vikings, Texans-Packers, and

Falcons-Seahawks (45:13) before guessing the lines for NFL Week 8 (56:33). Then they discuss the Liberty winning the WNBA Finals (1:27:14), and close the show with Parent Corner (1:31:57). Host: Bill Simmons Guest: Cousin Sal Producer: Kyle Crichton The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please visit www.rg-help.com to learn more about the resources and helplines available. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Full Transcript

00:00:02 Speaker_01
Coming up in Action Pack Sunday here on the BS Podcast. Cousin Sal, next. It's the Bill Simmons Podcast presented by FanDuel. Football is in full action. FanDuel's highest rated sports book is the best place to bet it all.

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00:00:27 Speaker_01
I think Seattle's gonna be good. And then trying to back what you think in those first few weeks and then zag the other way if you were wrong.

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And when you win, you'll get paid instantly. Plus, look out for FanDuel Squares This season, here's what you have to do. Visit Fando.com slash BS to download America's number one sports book. The ringer is committed to responsible gaming.

00:01:01 Speaker_01
Please visit rg-help.com to learn more about the resources and help lines available and listen to the end of the episode for additional details. You must be 21 plus and present in select states.

00:01:12 Speaker_01
Gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit rg-help.com. This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra. The NBA is back, and you know what that means. So is Michelob Ultra Courtside.

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It gets fans closer to the game, the stories, the players, the celebrations, and it's a pretty damn good beer. Stock up your fridge with Michelob Ultra and be ready for the big plays all season long.

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00:01:50 Speaker_01
Visit michelobultra.com slash courtside for free entry, entry deadlines, and official rules, void, we're prohibited. We're also brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network. I have new rewatchables coming for you on Monday, I hope, it's scary month.

00:02:07 Speaker_01
It's a little scary because I'm not feeling that great right now, but hopefully we're taping Hereditary tomorrow. So you'll see sick Bill talking about one of the scariest movies of the last 15 years. Stay tuned for that.

00:02:20 Speaker_01
You can watch it on the Ringer Movies YouTube channel as well. You can watch all the clips and videos from this podcast on the Bill Simmons YouTube channel. where last week I did five episodes, holy shit.

00:02:32 Speaker_01
Five episodes, including four and a half hours of NBA Overunners with Priscilla and House. Had a great time. The lines moved. We even did a super boost over the weekend. OKC, 55 plus wins. Cleveland, 45 plus wins. Phoenix, 45 plus wins.

00:02:49 Speaker_01
FanDuel Sportsbook boosted that up to plus 280. You can jump on that before Tuesday nights games. You could also go on the NBA page. There's the Simmons future page where you get a nice little 30% profit boost for

00:03:03 Speaker_01
all of the futures heading into this season. We have a really good track record, so you should listen to us. Anyway, hey, one ringer note, Todd McShay has a new podcast launching for us on Tuesday. It's called The McShay Show.

00:03:16 Speaker_01
You've already been listening, I hope, on the Resolo Podcast on Mondays, but The McShay Show will be launching on Tuesday, so subscribe or follow wherever you get your podcasts. Cousin Sal is next. He's heartbroken the Mets are out of the playoffs.

00:03:32 Speaker_01
But we get to make fun of the Jets and we get to complain about the WNBA officiating. I can't wait. Let's bring in Pearl Jam. We're live Sunday night. Cousin Sal is here. And I don't know what to walk us through.

00:04:07 Speaker_01
Walk us through your state of mind right now. The Mets are done. They're out. One of your favorite baseball teams ever just tragically knocked out of Dodger Stadium tonight. And we lost our WNBA finals bet in a final.

00:04:20 Speaker_02
So much could most generously be described as kind of rigged. But we'll get to that later. How you feel about the Mets?

00:04:26 Speaker_05
I don't even care if we get to that later or the Mets, but you're right. I mean, this was a lot of fun. This team was a lot of fun to root for. And, but I have to say, and you've been through this, like in October baseball, like

00:04:40 Speaker_05
It's going to be nice to not be scared to watch TV. You know, like you get nervous watching. I'll even say scared. And my kids are nervous and scared. It's like watching The Shining 12 of the last 14 nights and not knowing the ending any of the nights.

00:04:55 Speaker_05
And it sucked. But I think as a fan, and maybe you'll agree with this, The saving graces are we played a better team and our losses weren't close. So it wasn't like, ah, damn, right?

00:05:08 Speaker_05
So those two things make it a little less, a little more bearable, but I love this team. And I know people are gonna be like, well, you paid $700 million, but it's not exactly true.

00:05:19 Speaker_05
We had like 80 million in dead payroll between Scherzer and Verlander and Hoctua and Grimace. They don't count on the cap, but- Who did you pay for Hoctua?

00:05:29 Speaker_04
I forgot about that.

00:05:30 Speaker_05
Yeah, Hawk 2 was big throughout the first pitch. We won like 70% of our games, but I don't know. They gave us some great moments and I'm proud of some of them. I really am. It just feels like there's been a lot of sad Sal this fall.

00:05:44 Speaker_05
It's the year of sad Sal.

00:05:47 Speaker_01
It was like Seinfeld had the year of George, we have the year of sad Sal.

00:05:50 Speaker_05
What could happen next? I'll pick it back up, I'll pick it back up. I'm excited my Cowboys are very good after beating that juggernaut Steelers team. Now I have hope again.

00:05:59 Speaker_01
Right, the Cowboys had a bye week, so that was a positive. Yeah, right.

00:06:03 Speaker_01
Yeah, the Mets were overachievers, and when you're overachievers, you need to win a couple dumb games during a series when you're playing somebody who's way better than you and you never won the dumb game. You just got killed in the losses.

00:06:16 Speaker_01
I felt like it was Yankees, Dodgers. I have a lot of Yankees thoughts. I'm happy to share them now to cheer you up if you want.

00:06:23 Speaker_05
Let's do it. Yeah, I mean, I'm definitely rooting against the Yankees. I have way more A-hole Yankee fan friends than I do Dodgers.

00:06:30 Speaker_01
Well, I've told you this off the podcast, but my dream was for the Yankees to make the World Series. I thought the higher the stakes, the longer the fall would be.

00:06:40 Speaker_01
And everything I thought might happen that I prayed would happen with the Yankee fans who haven't won a title in 15 years, who have bitched about Aaron Boone and Brian Cashman for the last five, nonstop ad nauseum all the way through like pretty much three-fourths of the way through the summer.

00:06:57 Speaker_01
And now the chests are puffed out again. Because you beat the Guardians and the Royals. and your chest are puffed out. You hit two 30 and nine playoff games.

00:07:08 Speaker_02
Oh, look out. Big bad Yankees are back.

00:07:12 Speaker_01
I can't wait for the Dodgers to just ram it right up their sphincters. I can't wait. I can't wait.

00:07:19 Speaker_02
I am such a Dodger fan between Mookie and going against the Yankees. I can't fucking wait. I'm on a lot of cold medication too, by the way. Wow. I didn't know that. I can't wait. Oh, soda. What did that bet?

00:07:33 Speaker_02
15 pitches against some fucking pitcher I've never heard of. Okay, let's see it. Let's see if he gets the Dodgers. I'm 100% cheered up. I love it. Let's go. I love it.

00:07:45 Speaker_01
Let's go. The Yankees, who haven't won jack shit in 15 years, they've won one title this century, and now their fans think they're hot shit again. And they're on brand at all times, and I fucking love it. Good, good, we just need those.

00:07:59 Speaker_01
Go, go, go Dodgers. Look at you. And if it had been the Mets, I would have been like, go Mets, but it's actually better if they lose to the Dodgers.

00:08:06 Speaker_05
Yeah, well, yeah, I mean, that's the scary part, right? It's the worst thing of all sports if the Mets lose to the Yankees. So I didn't really want to risk that once I knew they were in there, but I have to root for my team, of course.

00:08:17 Speaker_05
But yeah, is this the first time When was the last time any league got exactly the matchup they wanted? Was it Warriors, Cavs?

00:08:28 Speaker_01
I don't even know if that was the matchup they wanted. I guess those were the players they wanted. But yeah, I mean, this never happens in hockey, right? Every year in hockey, we're like, oh man, can you imagine if it's McDavid against so-and-so?

00:08:40 Speaker_01
And it just never seems to happen. And then in baseball, it's happening. I don't remember what I just said the last five minutes, but if it was something negative about the Yankees, that's fine.

00:08:51 Speaker_02
Literally five years of Aaron Boone is an absolute serial killer. He's got to go.

00:08:57 Speaker_01
He's murdering this team.

00:08:58 Speaker_02
Cashman's murdering this team. How? And then the American League was awful. I mean, did you see that Royals team in the playoffs? That was the team that made the playoffs.

00:09:09 Speaker_01
Then you go to the Guardians, who their best pitcher was the closer, who all of a sudden couldn't get anybody out for some reason.

00:09:15 Speaker_05
Right, I love it. Yeah, it's all home runs, right? So they needed Soto, they needed Stanton, they needed Judge, they needed two of those three guys to produce. And they got that, and it's right time.

00:09:28 Speaker_05
I don't know, maybe they'll calm down with a few days off and stuff, but we have to root against the Yankees, I'm sorry.

00:09:33 Speaker_01
And then this recency bias era we live in, it's like, Stanton! This is one of the best playoff Yankees ever. It's like you guys haven't won a World Series. You guys won a million World Series.

00:09:43 Speaker_01
We can name 40 Yankee batters over the course of history who are more important to the Yankees franchise than Stanton.

00:09:50 Speaker_05
Yeah, because he has like 73 more playoff games than Yogi Berra because they were like 3 out of 5 series to get to the World Series and that was it.

00:09:58 Speaker_01
There's been seven Gatorade celebrations because of this stupid sport that we've created where every five days you get to celebrate again. Anyway, go Dodgers. Good luck to Mookie Betts.

00:10:09 Speaker_01
I hope Ohtani, wouldn't it be great if Ohtani pitched next round out of nowhere? Oh, wow. Oh, he should at least pitch to the last batter. And where did Luke Weaver come from? I'm in an American League, Keeper League.

00:10:20 Speaker_01
Nobody had ever heard of that guy until three months ago. And now he just pitches every game now. He's throwing 130 miles an hour. Ah, the Yankees make me so mad. You know what I'm gonna do after this podcast? Go ahead.

00:10:33 Speaker_01
I'm going to console myself with my four World Series DVDs from this century. Wow. Try to calm myself down. Yeah, four times as many DVDs.

00:10:40 Speaker_05
And no offense, but I'm going to watch the Mets documentary, Once Upon a Time in Queens. I know the Red Sox.

00:10:45 Speaker_01
You can watch that. That was a million years ago. There you go. 20th anniversary of a lot of good stuff that happened with the Red Sox Yankees too. Oh, that's right. When everything turned. Oh yeah.

00:10:55 Speaker_05
Cough medicine bill. I love it. Yeah.

00:10:58 Speaker_01
Oh, that's more than cough medicine, man. It might be straight drugs. I think I take fentanyl. Did you? We'll save WNBA for right before Parent Corner, because I have some thoughts on that, too. Heated thoughts.

00:11:11 Speaker_06
Yeah, sure, yeah, yeah.

00:11:12 Speaker_01
NFL. So Week 7, I needed a name for this, because Week 7 is... when you really can't fool people anymore. You kinda are who you are. You've been scouted. If you have any holes, they're gonna get picked. If you have any warts, they're gonna be pulled.

00:11:28 Speaker_01
So I was thinking, I'm sure your wife has this. My wife has it too, those circle makeup mirrors where you can flip it and it magnifies. And if you flip it, you look at your face, you don't even understand what you're looking at. The pores are so crazy.

00:11:44 Speaker_01
You flip it around, you get this nice, This is makeup mirror week, Sal. This is the week, there's no hiding. You turn that light on, you're looking, and it's like, yeah, that's a zit. Yeah, that's a mole right there. Yeah, that's an old age spot.

00:11:59 Speaker_01
Everybody who had those flaws, the makeup mirror got shy to them this week, including the New York Jets. When I'm on drugs, I'm always better.

00:12:09 Speaker_05
This is the NyQuil ninja coming at us tonight. I love it, I love it. No, you're right, the bad teams, were terrible today. They were absolutely terrible. And I think we saw the top of the line teams emerge.

00:12:23 Speaker_05
And you know how I know this because, I don't know, maybe I'm giving you a little bit of a hint here. If you look at the week eight lines, they look like real lines, Simmons. They're not like one and a half, two, and shit like that.

00:12:36 Speaker_01
So anyway, we'll get into that. Well, we had Tennessee lost by 24 to Buffalo. The Giants lost by 25 to Philadelphia. New Orleans on Thursday night lost by 23 to the Broncos. And Carolina lost 40 to seven to Washington.

00:12:52 Speaker_01
And then my stupid team lost by 16 to the Jags. But it was like, there was a little bit of a settling of now we really have a sense of who the bad teams are.

00:13:01 Speaker_05
You did get excited. I don't know if you were loaded up on cold medicine this morning when the Pats scored the first touchdown. We have 10-0. I know, you hit us with a little bit of a text barrage. I'm like, oh, I hope this holds here.

00:13:12 Speaker_01
Well, what happened was we came to London with 10 plays, nine of them worked, and then they were like, oh shit, there's two and a half hours to go in the game, what do we do now? Should we hand off again to an eight man front? Yeah, let's do it again.

00:13:24 Speaker_01
Maybe Antonio Gibson will break through this time. Makeup Maritime, the Jets, who we've had a fall guy now two straight weeks, or some sort of magic elixir or something, they fired Sala.

00:13:38 Speaker_01
They traded for Devontae Adams, even though it seemed like you could do whatever you want against their defense. And now the Steelers really kind of used and abused them tonight.

00:13:48 Speaker_01
And now I guess the Fall guy's going to be the kicker, because he missed another one, Zerloin?

00:13:52 Speaker_05
Yeah, he has another one. You know, they just fired Jeff Albridge, the coach, you know. They got rid of him. No, they didn't. I would have believed that. Why not? Aaron says, that's it, that's it for you. You get one shot.

00:14:05 Speaker_01
Two and five, but smart Devante Adams trade. He was just what they've needed. They managed to not crack 20 points again. Here's what they have for points this year. 19, 24, 24, nine, 17, 20, 15.

00:14:22 Speaker_05
And is that less or the same as last year? Because coming into this week, it was exactly the same, I think, as 2023's offensive output. Probably around the same output, right? Yeah, that's it. It can't be more.

00:14:33 Speaker_01
And the defense just isn't very good.

00:14:36 Speaker_05
they're not very good. Um, I'm done with them on prime time too, even though I think we got like two more news to the next four. Yeah. Two of the next four. Oh, they did it early so that in case he goes away or something.

00:14:48 Speaker_05
Oh, just God help us if they're flexed in like week 14 or something, but they, uh, Yeah, they're bad. I didn't understand that line at all. I made it a rat line. It was two and four at four and two.

00:14:59 Speaker_05
If you look at Fandle, the over-under for wins for the Jets was seven and a half. For the Steelers, it was eight and a half. I'm like, I'm staying away from this, except for the Sal Special. Jets first half, Steelers win the game, plus 8.50.

00:15:09 Speaker_05
Did that hit? God bless. It hit. Anybody who was on it. Oh, my God.

00:15:13 Speaker_01
What is that, four times now?

00:15:14 Speaker_05
I think it's three. Three? Three, yeah, but eight to one each time, you know? Oh, my God. So, yeah, good. Good for the Jets.

00:15:22 Speaker_01
Smart team. You know, that line was super suspicious, and then it moved. By game time, it was basically two and a half on Fando, Jets by two and a half.

00:15:33 Speaker_01
I just felt like I had to, just out of sheer respect for Mike Tomlin and just the whole infrastructure, I had to tease the Steelers to eight and a half. I teased the over down to 33. Oh, I thought you teased them with the Mets, I was gonna be upset.

00:15:48 Speaker_01
No, I didn't do that. But it just seemed like, we had a lot of disrespectful lines this week, and all of them came back to bite whoever, right?

00:15:55 Speaker_01
The Lions was disrespectful, the Chiefs, Mahomes as an underdog was just, I just can't believe that happened.

00:16:02 Speaker_01
In this case, so I did that, and then you're watching the game, and the Jets looked really good for about a half hour, a little like the Patriots.

00:16:09 Speaker_01
And I'm thinking, oh man, and Russ is like, he got booed, you probably were in Mets hell, but I think his third series, and he just looked bad, and just terrible pass, he got booed, and Collinsworth was stammering, and it just seemed like it was gonna go super ugly, and then all of a sudden the game flipped.

00:16:29 Speaker_05
Well, from what I saw and could gather, I had the game on also, but I wasn't listening, but he threw some good passes, but he threw, what's more telling is his bad passes might fit this offense.

00:16:40 Speaker_05
That Eli Manning under, under thrown, as long as it's one-on-one to Pickens, he's going to maybe get it more than five times out of 10. And then you're all set. So, uh, kudos. And by the way,

00:16:52 Speaker_05
they spend a million and a half dollars on both these guys, like Fields and Wilson. I don't blame the coach for being like, all right, let's see what else we got here.

00:17:00 Speaker_05
Fields isn't exactly the franchise quarterback right away, even though they're four and two, so good job by them for now, right?

00:17:07 Speaker_01
We talked about it last Sunday that we thought Fields, they won, but he was bad last week. I didn't think he was good against Dallas either, and I wasn't surprised when they made this switch, but I'm so glad you brought up the deep ball offense.

00:17:20 Speaker_06
Yeah.

00:17:20 Speaker_01
We've been talking about this the entire time you and I have been doing this podcast dating back to 2007, that if you don't really have a passing offense, just fucking chuck it downfield. And Pickens is among the best people to do that with.

00:17:34 Speaker_01
He's really good at slowing down, jumping in traffic, contesting catches. I was texting our fantasy guys. I was like, this is my dream offense. I've been begging for, everyone else dreams about the West Coast offense or four verticals.

00:17:49 Speaker_01
I'm like, I just wanna see somebody chuck it down one of the sidelines. Just like it's either an interference, it's a catch, it's incomplete, or there's what, a 10% chance it's picked, but then it's like a punt.

00:18:02 Speaker_01
There's kind of no downside versus like having somebody just go back to pass and third and eight gets tipped at the line, whatever. So Pickens is the perfect guy for it. And I felt like it changed their destiny.

00:18:11 Speaker_05
We have to figure out a name for that pass.

00:18:13 Speaker_01
It's the Flacco. Flacco perfected it. I know you mentioned Eli, and Eli definitely did it, but Flacco, this was the Ravens offense in the mid-2010s, because they were like, ah, just go back and just fucking throw it.

00:18:27 Speaker_05
I meant to write it down, but Collinsworth called it something much more diplomatic. It was much more like a tentative- Moonballs. Moonball, yeah. Oh, these moonballs. In a positive way, he was saying.

00:18:40 Speaker_01
Yeah, Mike, it makes me think of Moon Pie and Rollerball with James Caan. It's a great movie. It's about futuristic violence, Mike. It's so good. The moonball offense.

00:18:52 Speaker_05
Russell's got a boon, but he's got Crescent Moon. He's got Wax and Cray. He's got everything.

00:18:56 Speaker_02
Half Moon. He might as well moon us, Mike. Might as well pull his pants down and moon us. That's what he's doing with his offense.

00:19:03 Speaker_01
Picking seemed way happier.

00:19:04 Speaker_01
You know, I never really know whether to believe this or not, so I always try to read between the lines, but it was interesting, some of the feedback on the practice during the week, even Melissa Stark before the game, like there's a real energy with this team.

00:19:19 Speaker_01
We were there two weeks ago on the field, the energy feels different, so maybe the fields thing was a little worse behind the scenes with, people feeling like he could run the offense correctly.

00:19:30 Speaker_01
They're also, I mean, the other thing is their running backs are healthier than they were the last couple weeks. So the Steelers are five and two.

00:19:36 Speaker_05
Warren's nice when he's healthy. Yeah, they could trade off between those two.

00:19:40 Speaker_01
So this is one of my big, I mean, pretty much all of my big ones before the year, except the freaking Jaguars. But Pittsburgh and Seattle, who's now in first place in the NFC West. I'm feeling good about my futures. Jets two and five.

00:19:56 Speaker_01
at the Patriots next week. Home for Houston four days later on a Thursday night. That's a tough game, because Houston's D-line I think is really good. At Arizona week 10, home Indy week 11 on a Sunday night.

00:20:12 Speaker_01
So they're two and five, what's their record in four weeks? Would you go four and seven, five and six?

00:20:18 Speaker_05
Four and seven would be, five and six is while they're playing great ball and getting lucky, I would say. But four and seven is more likely. I mean, you can't say, the Patriots was their only...

00:20:30 Speaker_05
I don't know, they barely beat the Titans, and then they beat your team on a Thursday night. There's no real game on the schedule that they're definitely gonna win, right?

00:20:39 Speaker_01
Well, on the flip side, the kicker cost them week four and week five, so you could talk yourself into whatever reality you want.

00:20:46 Speaker_05
That's what I'm saying, everything's close. You can't say you're definitely winning this, definitely winning that, so yeah.

00:20:51 Speaker_01
I feel like I've watched an inordinate amount of Jets this season. And I don't know what the stats are. Yeah, because they're on, or they're in London, or they're at night. It just feels like Rodgers is getting hit a lot.

00:21:03 Speaker_01
And now, like, he's just bleeding all over. It's like a wrestler. It's like CM Punk or something.

00:21:08 Speaker_05
It's bleeding all over the place. It's a Tarantino film every time he goes out there, for sure.

00:21:13 Speaker_01
They don't feel like a playoff team to me, so. And I know we do this over and over and over again with the standings, but just like Buffalo now has a three game lead over them in the division. So I would say unless Allen gets hurt, lock them in.

00:21:29 Speaker_01
Pittsburgh and Baltimore in the North, there's three. Houston in the South, that's four. And then Chiefs, and then I just like the Chargers more than them. Had six, so now they're battling against the Broncos, the Colts, the Bengals.

00:21:47 Speaker_01
Maybe Miami, if two, it can come back in time, but. So it's not, maybe nine and eight gets the seven seed, that's their only path. I don't think they can. That's what they have to hope for, because like I said.

00:21:56 Speaker_01
They can go eight and three the rest of the way.

00:21:59 Speaker_05
They don't have it up yet, but Vandal had them at seven and a half before, before today's game. So they're like a solid seven win team at this point, going forward. I think they're gonna have to up it by three to make the playoffs.

00:22:13 Speaker_05
What's the funniest outcome?

00:22:14 Speaker_01
Because I have an idea. Go ahead, tell me yours, let me see. Roger's asking for a trade on McAfee Show on Tuesday, saying this just didn't work.

00:22:23 Speaker_05
This week already?

00:22:24 Speaker_01
This just didn't work. You know, I look around, I see some other teams, and maybe there's a better place for me. I just think that would cause a riot. I like that, too. That could shut down Twitter for the election, which we probably need.

00:22:36 Speaker_05
Oh yeah, yeah, do it, Aaron, come on.

00:22:38 Speaker_01
Do it, Aaron, just float it out, float it out.

00:22:41 Speaker_05
Aaron's out there, I see some holes at QB. That or power forward for the Minnesota Lynx. He's decided he's moving.

00:22:51 Speaker_01
He's changing. That's it? Yes. Oh my god. Jets have the same, actually Miami has a half game lead over the Jets. And it feels like they're the most, one of the four or five most unwatchable teams.

00:23:07 Speaker_02
in either conference, and they have a better record, they have a half game lead, how is that possible?

00:23:12 Speaker_05
Our friend JJ was watching their game, he's a big Dolphins fan, and screaming at the TV, like I think, I don't know what it is, I think he had more faith in, who's that idiot that comes in at the third string to Boyle, Tim Boyle, than the other 15 of us sitting in the room watching, but yeah.

00:23:30 Speaker_05
That's not a fun team to root for.

00:23:31 Speaker_01
Is he still there? Is he just slumped on a chair or whatever? Did you leave him there or what happened to him?

00:23:35 Speaker_05
He did. Oh, the Yankee enthusiasm turned on a dime real quick. Didn't take much.

00:23:41 Speaker_01
So he had a lot of swagger because of the Indians Royals win, sorry.

00:23:45 Speaker_06
Yeah.

00:23:45 Speaker_01
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00:24:00 Speaker_01
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Check with your local retailer for current information. Lincoln and Aviator are trademarks of Ford or its affiliates. Before we get to Chief Steiner's off that Jets conversation, cross-off teams, seven weeks. Can we come up with seven right now?

00:25:41 Speaker_05
I think we can. I don't want to go back on this though, because we've been criticized about crossing teams off, and that like the Giants, we crossed them off. Some people were very close to us.

00:25:51 Speaker_02
The radical left, the left, the right, the far right? Was it the red states? Who's criticized?

00:25:56 Speaker_04
Remember the swift boat people?

00:25:58 Speaker_05
No, but so we crossed off the Giants and we brought them back.

00:26:03 Speaker_04
Let's just keep teams crossed off.

00:26:04 Speaker_02
What's the worst that's going to happen to the Giants?

00:26:06 Speaker_01
We'll keep the Giants crossed off. We were right. All right, I'm good. Well, these three are crossed off. New England, Carolina, and Cleveland.

00:26:13 Speaker_05
Panthers, Patriots.

00:26:13 Speaker_01
They're all one and six. They're done. And Carolina, Lombardi said this on my pod on Thursday, I think, and I actually think he might be right, that this is the worst team of the decade now, this Carolina team. Really? They've gotten worse every week.

00:26:26 Speaker_01
They were down 37-0 today and they weren't even like, eh, maybe we should throw Bryce Young out there.

00:26:31 Speaker_05
They didn't even do that. I was just gonna say, you know it's bad when he's pretty much set to come back week 8 after how bad he was.

00:26:39 Speaker_01
Yeah. Alright, so those three for sure. I think Tennessee at one in five. I don't see a path for them. They're awful. They gave up 27 unanswered to Buffalo today.

00:26:51 Speaker_05
That was my best bet, and people killed me. I did have some reluctance once they switched from Will Levis to Rudolph, and then Fandel went from eight and a half to nine. I'm like, all right, I'm not gonna overthink this. Rudolph's a 59% passer.

00:27:08 Speaker_05
The Bills will demolish them at home. Took a minute, but they did.

00:27:12 Speaker_01
Yeah, you were close for a second. All right, so there's four. Two and five teams. I don't think the Jets are a cross off yet. Okay. Vegas? They just lost... You know it's bad when it's like, oh no, Aiden O'Connell's hurt. Oh no, what are we gonna do?

00:27:33 Speaker_01
We don't have Aiden O'Connell. Poor Minshew comes back, which is one of my favorite football scenarios every year when the guy gets benched and then has to come back in a week later. Really tough. What's the marital equivalent of that?

00:27:46 Speaker_01
I'm moving out, I'm having an affair with my assistant. And then a week later, like, hey, honey, I'm back. Hey, I'm back.

00:27:51 Speaker_05
It didn't work out. Yeah.

00:27:53 Speaker_01
Yeah. Sorry. Hey, you didn't put my stuff in the attic yet, did you? Minshew's just back. And by the way, he was just as terrible as he was before he got bent.

00:28:04 Speaker_05
Yeah. They're five, well, I mean, the coach is a liar. The only reason to watch them is the coach, to watch him kick a field goal down, you know, seven or eight, whatever, with two minutes left.

00:28:14 Speaker_01
But we can wait. It's 20 to 12. There's four minutes left, and it's fourth and goal from I think the four.

00:28:23 Speaker_01
And first they get a false start, which is just like, that's the last level, like the Patriots absolutely would have a false start in that situation. The worst coach teams are always gonna do something dumb in that spot.

00:28:34 Speaker_01
So now it's fourth and nine, they're up eight. and you still have to go for it. Because even if you don't get it, they're stuck inside the tent. Maybe you'll get a pass interference in the end zone.

00:28:45 Speaker_01
You're basically turning a one touchdown game into a one touchdown game. There's no reason to do it. None that I can think of. Pierce brings the kicker in and kicks it.

00:28:55 Speaker_05
At least line up to draw them off size and try to get five yards closer, and then you're definitely going for it. But you should be going for it anyway, because guess what? Look at the scoreboard. You have 12 points against the Rams defense.

00:29:06 Speaker_05
It's not your day, so you're not gonna get down there three more times, two more times, another time. So yeah, go for the touchdown there. But anyone who had the spread. So I think you're right, because they have five losses. They have the Chiefs twice.

00:29:18 Speaker_05
Two and five. They have the Chargers and they're at the Bucs, so they're gonna have nine for sure.

00:29:23 Speaker_01
They're one of the most poorly coached teams in the league, and they have bottom five quarterbacks. It's a pretty tough combo. I mean, I even like the Pat situation more, because at least we can move the ball. So that's six, right? Six teams?

00:29:34 Speaker_01
Vegas, Giants, two and five, Tennessee, New England, Carolina, Cleveland, and then if we want to do a sixth, I can offer you the two and five Jags, the two and five Jets,

00:29:47 Speaker_01
two and four Miami or the two and four Rams, and I wouldn't cross off any of those, I don't think.

00:29:52 Speaker_01
All right, yeah, we got some time, but out of those, I would say Jags I would probably be the most excited to cross off, just because I'm not buying, just because you beat one of the worst coached, least talented teams in the last couple years, I'm not gonna throw you a party.

00:30:09 Speaker_05
Yeah, if this was NCAA field, they're the first buy. They're the first one coming in if we have to kick somebody out.

00:30:16 Speaker_01
You think Doug got a window or is he in the aisle? Where is he? Coach middle seat? He's not middle seat Doug on the fight home.

00:30:25 Speaker_05
No, you gotta say coach middle seat. That's half the joke. Coach, because he's flying coach and he's middle seat. But he's also coach. Coach middle seat. Coach middle seat, yeah. You like that more than middle seat Doug? I don't know, I think I do.

00:30:41 Speaker_05
Did you see what he did today? Bag of peanuts, that's it. Nothing.

00:30:45 Speaker_01
I guarantee nobody noticed this, but so they're up, I forget, they're up maybe 13 or 15. It's a two-score game. And it's like fourth and two in the fourth quarter. and Doug decides to go for it. If it's a field goal, he's up 18.

00:31:03 Speaker_01
Now it's a three possession game with 10 minutes left and we have no offensive line. And instead, Doug goes for it for reasons that remain, like the game's over. We've lost the ability for coaches to just say, hey, if I do this now, the game's over.

00:31:19 Speaker_01
People are like, no, if we go for fourth and two, maybe we, I don't even know what the rationale is. Anyway, we stuff them. Pats come down and they score. And Mayo, who needs a nickname, maybe he's middle seat Mayo.

00:31:30 Speaker_01
I don't even know what his nickname is. He's just awful. He's just an awful coach. Goes for two, down nine. And we don't get it. And that's it. And the reason you have to go for two is because earlier in the game on a PAT, we jumped off sides.

00:31:48 Speaker_01
And then they went for two and got it. And they went up, so instead of being up 14, they're up 15. So now we have to chase the PAT when we score and we don't get it and we stay down nine. And we're done.

00:32:00 Speaker_01
And Mayo had some just classic quotes after the game. The guy doesn't move during the game. He doesn't, there's no coaching whatsoever. Poor planning. We have no strategy past the first half of the first quarter.

00:32:11 Speaker_01
We have multiple guys grumbling after the game. Kendrick Bourne's agent today. after the game did this Instagram post congratulating Kendrick Bourne for his professionalism because they told him he was going to be a healthy scratch.

00:32:24 Speaker_01
And then somebody was sick and he ended up playing last minute and caught a touchdown. Then he's talking shit about Polk, the rookie, and how he's got to get out of this mental state he's in. And Polk's like, I'm fine. I just need to make some plays.

00:32:38 Speaker_01
This is just such a train wreck. I can't believe this was like Kraft's handpicked guy, who by the way, he handpicked like six years ago and openly talks about it. That guy was on Belichick's coaching staff.

00:32:49 Speaker_05
Out of everything you just said, the thing that surprises me most is that Kendrick Bourne has an agent, but I'll believe you. But yeah, we were saying earlier, this is a bad year for Mayo.

00:33:02 Speaker_05
With the Will Levis and the coffee and your coach, it really, it moves down.

00:33:05 Speaker_02
It's just a rough year for Mayo all around. Yeah, so he said health studies that came in.

00:33:09 Speaker_01
It was down on the condiment rankings. He gives this interview after, and he's like, we're just a soft team right now. We're a soft team. Boy, the coach, I bet the coach is gonna really lay it to, oh wait, you're the coach.

00:33:24 Speaker_01
You're responsible for whether this team is soft or not. We don't have physical practices. Oh, I'm sorry, it was K.J. Osborne. Kyle reminded me. I got K.J. Osborne and Kendrick Moore confused. K.J. Osborne. Is that less surprising that he is an agent?

00:33:38 Speaker_05
I don't know. It's exactly the same.

00:33:39 Speaker_01
My bad. K.J. Osborne. I mixed up our anonymous receivers, who are probably getting paid too much money. But yeah, we have a soft team, according to Gerard Meyer, who is the person in control of every practice.

00:33:51 Speaker_05
Don't you immediately lose the locker room if you say you have a soft team? I think he already lost it. What's the rumblings like between the punter and the free safety? Like, our coach says we're soft. Are we? I don't know. Maybe we are.

00:34:03 Speaker_01
It's his fault, though. Stupid penalties. They have terrible play calling. You know, who jumps off sides on a PAT? Like, that side alone that you have no idea what we're doing. This guy, he's been just awful.

00:34:15 Speaker_01
You're down to three and a half wins on Fandle. And through shade to Belichick this week too, about like shaded him on the roster. It's like, you wouldn't have a career if it wasn't for Belichick. He was the guy who gave you coaching chance.

00:34:29 Speaker_01
And you're budding up with Kraft. I'm just disgusted by the whole thing. Alright, so we have six cross-up teams. Well, hold on, let me look at this real quick, because you have three guys.

00:34:40 Speaker_01
No, no, we have the six, New England, Carolina, Cleveland, Tennessee, Vegas, Giants, crossing them off, that's it. And we can't bring them back. It's not like JJ changing his survivor pick every week. Gotcha, right.

00:34:52 Speaker_05
Yeah, you guys, wow, you have the lowest win total, three and a half.

00:34:59 Speaker_01
Listen, before the season, as I repeatedly just picked Pat Sunders and Alt-Unders, and you were getting mad at me, and they can't block, they're poorly coached, and they've had a bunch of defensive injuries already. The thing is, May is good.

00:35:13 Speaker_01
That's the thing. You have one person to root for.

00:35:16 Speaker_05
You only have to root for him. Isn't it nice? You don't have to root for this team. All this other nonsense with the coach and everything's fun. He's going to be gone anyway. You have one player to root for and that's nice.

00:35:26 Speaker_05
You can concentrate your efforts on Drake May.

00:35:29 Speaker_01
I really like him. He's super fun to watch. I thought he made, the nerds will come out with all their like advance where they break down the plays and give them the ratings. I guarantee his ratings are good in that game.

00:35:39 Speaker_01
Cause he did a lot of good stuff and we can't block. And drops, terrible drops in the first half. Chiefs Niners. So Mahomes now moves to 12-1-1 as an underdog. And I'm gonna posit you with this question.

00:35:55 Speaker_01
because that was the stat, that was the reason I picked the Chiefs. I'm not gonna, I almost swept a million dollar picks today. I lost the Packers by a half point. It was four and one, I just missed it. So is Mahomes 12-1-1 as an underdog?

00:36:08 Speaker_05
I think that's what it was, he was.

00:36:12 Speaker_01
are the Chiefs 12-1-1 during the Mahomes era playing off the tweet that you did today, which I thought was a really good tweet about the defense. Go ahead, do your thing on this.

00:36:21 Speaker_05
Well, it's just the most underrated unit, I think, of the decade. Spags, Spagnola, right? Like the Chiefs keep them in all these games, all the important games. You can blame it on the refs or whatever else. It's the defense that has them there.

00:36:35 Speaker_05
And especially this year, you have, what is it, you have six touchdowns, eight interceptions, Mahomes? They better not be. tops for MVP. I know they're undefeated. I get it. But, um, they're the reason he's in this. What happened with him?

00:36:46 Speaker_05
He like, he coached the Rams. He got fired. And then he was just like a, uh, like an, you know, he, he was, he just became the best defensive coordinator. Cause nobody wants to take a chance with him again. It's great.

00:36:57 Speaker_01
He's excellent. He's a completely, I guess, an overpaid defensive coordinator slash specialist, right? He's paid as a head coach or close to a head coach, but just wants to run the defense. And he's gonna go in there.

00:37:11 Speaker_01
I think there's a chance he could go in the Hall of Fame as a defensive coordinator. Interesting.

00:37:14 Speaker_05
But overshadowed by Andy Reid all the time, right? All we heard about was his record off of Bayh and Mahomes, like you just said, record as an underdog. You don't hear about Spagnuolo. That defense is excellent.

00:37:26 Speaker_01
The defense is the reason they won the Super Bowl. They were four and five in the red zone today, which really helped. And then you mentioned Mahomes, 154 yards, zero touchdowns, two picks, had a rush TD.

00:37:37 Speaker_01
For the season, six touchdowns, eight picks, he has not topped 1,400 yards yet. And I would say he's probably, as a fantasy quarterback, probably in the 20s. He's gotta be like QB 22 or something like that. He had two great plays today.

00:37:52 Speaker_01
One, he decked Mustafa, the safety, for the touchdown. He seems bigger this year. And then he's mastered the, I'm gonna run out of bounds. Oh, actually I'm not, I'm cutting back in play, which feels like it's cheating.

00:38:07 Speaker_05
Yeah, they should almost allow that extra step then, because if you take a hit at him on the sidelines. But yeah, it really is. It's like, ah, my father could kick your father's ass, so watch what I could do. Like, oh, we gotta let him get away with it.

00:38:20 Speaker_05
What are we gonna do?

00:38:21 Speaker_01
Well, it was one of the biggest things to the games. The other thing that happened today, Do you see the movie Frost Nixon? Oh yeah, sure. Really good, right? Famous, one of the great interviews of all time.

00:38:34 Speaker_01
Famous interview, Immortalized, and a really good movie. We'll see what happens with Brady Mahomes. I don't know if you saw that interview, but it was really the Frost-Nixon of this decade. Really some hard-hitting questions.

00:38:49 Speaker_01
Some really in-depth answers. Really, I was riveted. So good. Do you remember after the AFC title game? And I came over and I said, hey man, I wish you luck. Yeah, yeah, I do remember that. Then they cut to like a wide shot of the stadium. Next question.

00:39:06 Speaker_01
Right, right, right.

00:39:07 Speaker_02
These interviews are so bad. Why do they have these? They spend like a kajillion dollars with 17 cameras filming them. And it's the worst content you could possibly have.

00:39:16 Speaker_05
Yeah. And I don't like, it's like, And by the way, I was about to compliment them. I was like, well, Brady's gotten better. Like whatever, he might not be your favorite, but we know what he is now. And he's like, he's in the flow of announcing, you know?

00:39:31 Speaker_05
But then these interviews, first of all, interview Jackson Mahomes or the wife or something. Anything's gonna be better. But the one thing I don't like that Brady does is like, oh, this guy was the bane of my existence.

00:39:43 Speaker_05
This guy, this coordinator was a bane of my, Andy Reid's a bane of my existence.

00:39:46 Speaker_04
What are you talking about? You never lost to anybody. Yeah, you beat everybody. Yeah. It's like Howard Stern asking, oh, how much you, wow, you make $4 million a year. It's like, shut up. You make 400 million. Shut up enough. We're not buying this.

00:40:01 Speaker_01
This guy was the bane of my existence. I would have had a 900 winning percentage if not for this guy. That was $899. He's getting a little better as a game announcer, but he also has a bunch of tics now that he's gotta get rid of.

00:40:15 Speaker_01
He always says, and again, what I was saying about the receivers, he's always bringing us back to something you said 10 minutes ago. It's like, just keep going. It's been great for Romo, because I think it's been a really strong Romo year.

00:40:29 Speaker_01
Meanwhile, the Niners are not just our leaders for the year from hell. I think they've just about locked it down. Like, IUK looked like he tore his ACL. It seems like they fear it, and we'll find out officially tomorrow, but. Should we cross them off?

00:40:47 Speaker_01
Is that what you're getting at? No, but they're three and four. I know. Courtney threw picks today on the KC-34, on the KC-31, and on the KC-5. And there was a question

00:41:02 Speaker_01
Remember last year, it'd be like, yeah, sure, Brock Purdy's doing well, but what would he be like with all these weapons? And it's like, today we found out. Or did we find out? Because I still like Purdy. But that'll be the game people point to.

00:41:13 Speaker_01
This is what happens when you use up weapons. He sucks.

00:41:15 Speaker_05
You know, I blame myself, I think, because you and I have flip-flopped on Shanahan a lot, and I know I've flipped on Purdy a lot, and like three weeks ago, I was like, that's it, I'm done. He's really good. He's very, very good.

00:41:28 Speaker_05
Not even for a Mr. Irrelevant. He's very good at what he does. And then since I made that statement, I don't know what's going on. But yeah, I don't, again, and we gave the Chiefs defense credit, But what's left now for these 49er receivers?

00:41:43 Speaker_05
Is it just Kittle? You know, they got the guy who got shot, Ricky Pearsall's in there, but you know, without Samuel and without Ayuk, it's definitely a different team.

00:41:51 Speaker_01
And McCaffrey, of course.

00:41:52 Speaker_01
Yeah, the year from hell, if we're looking for signs for the year from hell, maybe a guy getting randomly shot during a robbery right before the season who was a first round pick is probably about as good of a sign as you're gonna get.

00:42:02 Speaker_05
And that guy's back before McCaffrey.

00:42:04 Speaker_01
He's back.

00:42:04 Speaker_05
Yeah, right.

00:42:05 Speaker_01
So somehow they're playing your stupid team next week on Sunday night. I know, that's why I needed them to win today. And if the Niners lose, they're three and five heading into the bye. After the bye, at Tampa, home Seattle, at Green Bay, at Buffalo.

00:42:21 Speaker_01
So they could potentially be three and five walking in that. What's your team's record? You're three and three? Yeah. Yeah. So one of those things is not impressive. It feels high. So, um, I, I, I'm not, I'm not crossing off the diners as a playoff team.

00:42:43 Speaker_01
but I don't think they're even close to being one of the five best teams in the NFC. I don't know if that's gonna, they've had too many injuries. I think the three best teams are in the NFC North now, in the NFC, right?

00:42:53 Speaker_01
I would go Detroit, Minnesota, and Green Bay over any other team in the NFC.

00:42:58 Speaker_05
Yeah, maybe I'll feel differently tomorrow, but I have an irrational affection for the Bucs. But I don't know, maybe they're on the outside looking in. But yeah, you're right, the Niners needed this.

00:43:10 Speaker_05
I know they had injuries and everything, but if this is not an FU game to the team that beat you in the Super Bowl on a questionable call at the end and everything else, when are they ever gonna beat a team like this?

00:43:20 Speaker_01
How about this? Who's your two seed in the NFC right now? Your choices are Washington, Tampa, or Seattle. Those are the three teams leading their divisions right now. Like we could... I'll go Tampa, I would go Tampa.

00:43:38 Speaker_05
You would take Tampa? Yeah. They really could be five and one.

00:43:43 Speaker_01
It's a pretty big two seed. Because then you're playing the seven seed in round one, and then you're getting the winner of, you know, basically anyone underneath you in round two. So it's not like a small thing to be the two seed.

00:43:56 Speaker_01
All right, more stuff that happened.

00:43:58 Speaker_01
By the way, that Chiefs-Sanders game, I just think the Chiefs, they've hit that point that the Pats hit at some point, that the Colts hit near the end of the 2000s, where it almost doesn't matter who their skill players are.

00:44:12 Speaker_01
Like, even Carson Steele was out there for getting big first downs. It just doesn't matter. And their defense, their coach, and their infrastructure, like, they just kind of hang around and then they know they're going to win the game.

00:44:22 Speaker_01
You know what I mean? But you don't think Mahomes is struggling more than he has been? Yeah, but I'm saying, like, they just hang around these games and then they win them. And you just know they're going to win.

00:44:31 Speaker_01
I never for a second doubted they were winning that game today.

00:44:35 Speaker_05
Yeah, they don't blow leads like that. We're dumb, we're dumb. We should always just take the Chiefs. I know they're gonna get tripped up by someone stupid, but the games you think it's gonna happen, it just doesn't.

00:44:46 Speaker_01
Well, didn't JJ go against them today? Who zagged against them? JJ, yeah. JJ?

00:44:52 Speaker_05
Yeah. Yeah, wasn't it JJ? Yeah, JJ.

00:44:55 Speaker_01
He's like, Juan Soto, 14 pitches. Juan Soto, you catch passes. 14 pitches, nodding after every pitch, because he knew. I can't wait, I can't wait for the Dodger fans to stick it to them.

00:45:07 Speaker_05
So they gotta lose and Soto's gotta leave the team, that's the best. We don't need to get back to baseball, but that would be just the best.

00:45:15 Speaker_01
Bangles beat the Browns, Deshaun got hurt, looks like a torn Achilles. So I wrote this down, I'm just gonna read it to you. I can't even come up with the Deshaun take.

00:45:25 Speaker_01
It's in the running for the least fun start to finish sports story in this century that didn't involve a murder. Are we sure it didn't involve a murder? I don't know.

00:45:35 Speaker_05
I guess all the evidence is out.

00:45:37 Speaker_01
Can you think of a less fun week-to-week sports story than DeSean goes to Cleveland?

00:45:43 Speaker_05
No, I get it's too much.

00:45:45 Speaker_01
It is devoid of entertainment from start to finish. And I felt, I felt bad.

00:45:49 Speaker_01
I always feel bad when an athlete gets injured today, but you know, the fan base is like, finally, it's just everything about Jameis had an incredible, like two and a half minute monologue in the locker room after about, uh, yeah, Deshaun, but it's just,

00:46:03 Speaker_01
He's good for those.

00:46:05 Speaker_05
Yeah. And then I was surprised that he wasn't the number two guy. DTR had to get hurt first and Dorian Thompson Robinson for Jameis to get it. And then I'm looking, I'm like, all right, maybe Stefanski finally through injury has the setup he wants.

00:46:18 Speaker_05
Probably not, but you know, 21-14 against the Bengals, they clawed back in it.

00:46:23 Speaker_01
They actually, uh, Bengals had a hard time moving the ball in that game.

00:46:29 Speaker_01
Tee Higgins had, that was the first game where sometimes that would happen to Bengals in previous years, where Tee Higgins feels like he's more important to the game than Chase does. And that's when you know they're humming.

00:46:40 Speaker_01
And they've also finally figured out that they gotta keep Chase Brown on the field. That he's just gotta get more touches. Would it shock me if that team made the playoffs? No. What are their fan deal odds right now? Well, let me know. Yeah, minus T20.

00:46:56 Speaker_01
You talk about the Bengals, I'm gonna look this up.

00:46:59 Speaker_05
They're minus 124 to make the playoffs. Oh, they're minus? Yeah, so plus 102 for the no. Jesus. But they're kind of easy to figure out. You know, a lot of these teams we talk about, we can't figure out. The teams with the good defenses,

00:47:14 Speaker_05
they can't really score against. Like what happened with the Giants the other night? Don't forget, they had a kick return for a touchdown today. Otherwise, a pretty stagnant offense against the Browns. So who did they lay it on?

00:47:28 Speaker_05
They laid it on the Panthers? And that's it? I'm not sure. The Ravens? The Ravens don't have a bottom three defense. Say what you will about it.

00:47:37 Speaker_01
If you don't lay it on the Panthers, there's something wrong with you. We'll take one more break for the podcast. This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra. The NBA's back and you know what that means. So is Michelob Ultra Courtside.

00:47:51 Speaker_01
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00:48:51 Speaker_01
Plus with Uber Reserve, you'll get an assigned driver, you get upfront pricing, And you get extra wait time included. So go ahead, plan like a pro. Reserve your Uber ride up to 90 days in advance. See app for details. Okay.

00:49:07 Speaker_01
Lions Vikings, Lions 31, Vikings 29. Another game where I didn't understand the line and then it seemed like the Vikings were going to win. They had the ball. They had a chance to put the game away. Could not get the first down they needed.

00:49:20 Speaker_01
Detroit gets the ball back. Goff makes a couple plays. I thought Detroit was better in the game, and Minnesota almost stole it, but then you look at the stats after the game and everything was pretty even.

00:49:33 Speaker_01
Yards were even, first downs, like a lot of the stuff, it was a more even numbers game, but I didn't feel that way watching it. I thought Minnesota was... Lucky to be hanging around and if they stole that game, it was like Jesus.

00:49:44 Speaker_01
What do we have with this Vikings team? So anyway, I thought the right team won, but I thought it was weirdly a good loss for the Vikings too.

00:49:50 Speaker_05
Yeah, definitely because we're watching that game. I think part of us at least thinks alright, Sam Donald's slide has to start somewhere. Why not now? He really wasn't bad. He was like 22 for 27. He made some big throws. They got back in that game.

00:50:03 Speaker_05
It would have been a really bad loss for the Lions, and it would have just been like, all right, the Vikings are back to two years ago where they win every one score game. But Goff has been, you talk about like MVPs.

00:50:15 Speaker_05
He really, I'm trying to think of his number. So he was 18 for 18 against Seattle. He was 22 for 25 against Minnesota. His numbers have been really good lately. What are his MVP odds? Because they're gonna get a one seed.

00:50:28 Speaker_01
MVP odds are plus 650. Mahomes is plus 370, which I'm guessing is just because there's so much action on him, they can't move it up too high. Lamar's 5-1, Allen's 5-1, CJ's plus 950. Jordan Love, who was not good today, was 13-1.

00:50:46 Speaker_05
So our cheat thing is that it's a top two seed, right? Lions get closer and closer to that one seed every week, I think.

00:50:55 Speaker_01
I thought Goff was awesome today. Because they were coming after him. And there were a couple times when it seemed like old Jerry Goff, when he was going back to pass, there were guys around him and it was like, here's the Goff.

00:51:07 Speaker_01
He just doesn't throw those plays anymore. He had, there was one throw he missed in the fourth to Raymond, the Holy Cross kid. Right, right.

00:51:16 Speaker_01
Where he was deep down the sidelines, and for some reason he just kind of sailed it a little bit out of bounds, and it would have been like a 70 yard touchdown, but for the most part I thought he was... Really good. I gotta be honest.

00:51:27 Speaker_01
I thought that game felt like an NFC title game. The Vikes kept coming back. The crowd was great. Jefferson had a couple really good moments. Aaron Jones, who wasn't supposed to play all week. He was really, really good again.

00:51:41 Speaker_01
I thought that game felt like a playoff game and Packers, Texans felt like a playoff game. Both of those felt like round two or round three playoff games.

00:51:49 Speaker_05
I agree with you. And not that it matters, because he's probably not coming back. He's talking about coming back for the Super Bowl. But I also think the Lions would have put them away with one or two Aiden Hutchinson plays, right?

00:51:59 Speaker_05
Like, if he was in that lineup, I was like, all right, this would have been like a 12-point game or something, you know, midway through the fourth.

00:52:06 Speaker_01
I'm sure they're going to trade for some pass rusher, right? These teams always magically find

00:52:12 Speaker_01
enough money, especially because the guys get paid game by game, so the closer you get to the middle of the season, it's a little cheaper to be able to add the person, but I'm sure they'll get some money.

00:52:19 Speaker_05
Max Crosby is probably one of them. I mean, all the parody accounts are more and more believable every week, so you have to think that he's on his way out.

00:52:28 Speaker_01
What would they get from Max Crosby? That's gotta be at least a first, right? First and something else. Isn't he pricing them? I thought he just signed an extension.

00:52:36 Speaker_01
I thought they'd get somebody on the Browns, maybe, if the Browns are just like... They're talking about Miles Garrett throwing. Miles Garrett, that's, I mean...

00:52:45 Speaker_01
Because on the Pats, they were talking about Uche, who's basically a third down specialist guy. So then in the Packers game, which was a great back and forth, the Packers win, somehow don't cover.

00:52:56 Speaker_01
Line was either two and a half or three, Packers win by two. And the big story, I guess, is that a Packers kicker came through.

00:53:06 Speaker_01
Brandon McManus, who landed on the Packers on shaky terms, to say the least, but ended up there and finally made a kick for them. Their defense won the game. Strad was pressured on 48% of his drop backs. He threw for 86 yards.

00:53:26 Speaker_01
No Nico Collins, I think that might have killed the passing title for him. The Texans were running the ball, 25 for 115, They had the game, Sal. It's inside the two-minute warning. They're down two, but they get a first down.

00:53:43 Speaker_01
Green Bay has all three timeouts, and there was a way to finagle that, where it's like, try to run the ball or quick passes, make them burn all the timeouts, maybe try to get as close as possible, maybe even get the first down.

00:53:56 Speaker_01
They didn't really do it, and then they threw an incompletion on third down, so the Packers gotta save a timeout. Kick to go ahead by one. and it just felt like the Packers were gonna come back down.

00:54:06 Speaker_01
And I didn't think Love was very good today, but I just felt like they were gonna get a field goal in that one.

00:54:11 Speaker_05
He was off a little, and if you look at the stat, I was with you, I had Packers minus three, and it was so frustrating that it's gonna come down to this one or two point, extra point thing.

00:54:20 Speaker_05
And I'm looking at the Houston stats, like Tank Dell and Diggs at one point in the fourth quarter had like seven yards combined. Like how are they still in this? What is going on here? But I think you hit on it early.

00:54:31 Speaker_05
This is a very, very good defensive team. They have the top two ranked safeties on PFF, like one and two. So how do you throw on? They're gonna embarrass even the best quarterbacks. I mean, Stroud had 10 completions all day.

00:54:47 Speaker_01
We thought going in that that had a chance to be the second most talented team in the NFC. And after watching football for seven weeks, I think they might be. But those three are definitely the three best teams.

00:54:58 Speaker_01
I don't know if Seattle, they have some injuries they're gonna, we'll see what we have with them, what guys get back. Nobody in the NFC East I think is on the level of those guys.

00:55:07 Speaker_01
And then Tampa, just because of the way their offense has been moving the ball, I think you gotta take them seriously, but I wouldn't put them on the list.

00:55:15 Speaker_05
No, maybe not, but every Packer fan would sign off on five and two after Love got hurt throwing out Hillary in Brazil.

00:55:21 Speaker_01
Oh yeah, in the stupid Brazil field, yeah. I wanna see the Packers and the Texans in December, because the Texans will have Nico Collins back, they're gonna get some offensive line, they'll fix some of that. December? Yeah, two months from now.

00:55:34 Speaker_05
Oh, can that happen? What do you mean?

00:55:37 Speaker_01
No, not them playing each other. I just want to see the two teams. Cause like, wow, did they realign? I think both of these teams are in December are going to be like kind of built for playoff football. Right. Especially if they get some guys back.

00:55:50 Speaker_01
So Seattle beat Atlanta. I had this for Million Dollar Picks too, I had Lombardi on Thursday and both of us really liked Seattle for some reason. It was just like, they're really gonna lose four in a row? This is a pretty talented team.

00:56:02 Speaker_01
They had six 20 plus plays and if you like Seattle, when Walker's healthy, which he was today, and they can run the ball and then they're just getting an explosive play every quarter.

00:56:13 Speaker_05
This is the one you wanna see. This is the Seahawks team you wanna see, right?

00:56:16 Speaker_01
And the Falcons team you wanna see. Like, just go away. Right, no pass rush. Cousins was under attack for a lot of the game. Gino, not quite an MVP candidate, but weirdly important for this season, I feel like. He throws the ball, they throw all the time.

00:56:33 Speaker_01
I think he has 2,000 yards already.

00:56:36 Speaker_05
Does he really?

00:56:37 Speaker_01
Yeah, I think he does. Is it that many? Wow. He's not up there in touchdowns, but I think he's close.

00:56:42 Speaker_05
Yeah, 1985, he's right there, wow. Wow, that's good. Yeah, he threw some good balls. And like you said, everyone contributed. Noah Fant out of nowhere, just catching balls. And yeah, they need Walker healthy to go far, I think.

00:56:56 Speaker_01
They need some offensive line stuff to happen. So then Atlanta. the NFC South falling apart. That's good for you. Good for us. That was our favorite. They have 11 wins now through seven weeks with Tampa tomorrow.

00:57:11 Speaker_01
I feel like Atlanta could be one in six, and then I think the three teams today were minus 76. Three NFC South teams heading into this table all together.

00:57:20 Speaker_05
Yeah, and you got Spencer Rattler and Andy Dalton, the quarterback, two of them.

00:57:24 Speaker_01
Yeah, I don't think that division gets to 30, because Carolinas, do they have one more win in them? They're gonna go two and 15 or one and 16. And then New Orleans has lost five straight. Are they a seven and 10 team, like six and 11?

00:57:40 Speaker_05
They're in danger of getting crossed off next week.

00:57:44 Speaker_01
Yeah.

00:57:45 Speaker_05
Right?

00:57:46 Speaker_01
So Tampa could maybe get to 10 or 11 wins, and then that leaves us with Atlanta.

00:57:53 Speaker_05
I don't see it.

00:57:54 Speaker_01
Tampa would have to go like 13 and four for that division to get to 30.

00:57:58 Speaker_05
Yeah, you're not gonna get 10 wins out of Carolina and New Orleans, I don't think.

00:58:03 Speaker_01
The three shitty games today were Miami 16 to 10 over Indy. I'm sorry, Indy 16 to 10 over Miami. India's now four and three, and I have no idea how it happened. And I have YouTube TV, and the multi-view, and I have no idea how they're four and three.

00:58:21 Speaker_05
We're going for first place, all alone in first place, if they beat the Texans next week.

00:58:25 Speaker_01
The Rams are 20 and 15, nobody would start anyone on their offense. And then, other than maybe Williams. And then the Jags, 32 to 16 over the Pats. And then we had some blowouts. I guess the only other thing that happened was,

00:58:42 Speaker_01
Daniels got hurt immediately in the Carolina game. Which was one of the biggest fantasy murders of the year, right? That's it, you have no chance. If you haven't been in a guillotine league, so long, see you later. Who do you have tomorrow night?

00:59:01 Speaker_01
Ravens, Bucks, and Chargers cards?

00:59:04 Speaker_05
I have Bucks and I have the Chargers. And I feel strong about them. really feel strong. I think so, yeah. I think the Bucs, I think this is a bad spot for Baltimore.

00:59:14 Speaker_05
I know they beat every NFC team, but I really think the Bucs, I mean, they have the worst pass defense in the league, and I think Baker's gonna go nuts. Baker's 15 touchdowns.

00:59:24 Speaker_01
I know, that's crazy. I love the Chargers, and I had a Ravens over-adjusted parlay thingy that I kinda like. For the game? I think the line's like a point too high. Yeah, it feels like a field goal game to me.

00:59:36 Speaker_05
Yeah, the NFL doesn't let you get on a roll too much, right? The one thing we didn't talk about is the bet I didn't make, maybe you did, the Barkley stuff. Everyone was like, oh my God, he's definitely scoring. He's definitely going over 83 yards.

00:59:52 Speaker_05
I'm like, all right, calm down. There's 11 guys who are gonna wanna tackle him too. You know, this grudge doesn't only go one way. God, did he make me look stupid and the Giants. He scored, right? I think he scored, yeah, he scored at least one.

01:00:04 Speaker_05
Yeah, he scored one, he had 176 yards rushing.

01:00:09 Speaker_01
We looked at that and the odds weren't good for million dollar picks. I think we did a Hunter Henry one.

01:00:14 Speaker_05
But it's like, it's also weird, because it's like, aha, I told you you should have signed me. It's like, yeah, it would have been bad for everybody if you signed the Giants.

01:00:26 Speaker_01
Let's do a little thing we like to call Guess the Lines. Oh, I've heard about this. Remember this thing? What's the record? 4-2-1, you're winning? Yeah, look at that. You're winning 4-2-1. Yeah, there you go. Thursday night, Vikings Rams.

01:00:43 Speaker_01
Tough spot for the Vikes, man. That was like a pretty hard-hitting playoff game. Crazy, intense, and now four days later, you've got to just turn it back on. It's in LA, are you going? Kind of. You going or you're not going?

01:01:02 Speaker_05
Not going to that. Am I going to this? I couldn't stand Dodger Stadium. I wanted to kill somebody, yeah. You kind of lived there too.

01:01:11 Speaker_01
Did you see the parking for Dodger Stadium today? How much was it? It was $60 when I went on Monday. What was it today? Oh, they jacked it today. It was like for any decent lot, it was 200 bucks.

01:01:21 Speaker_05
Wow.

01:01:21 Speaker_01
Yeah, and for the best lot, it was like 500 bucks. Wow, what an asshole world we live in. Yeah. God almighty. Yeah. They're like 200 bucks or sit in traffic for a hundred minutes after the game.

01:01:34 Speaker_05
Yeah, it's true. They know they have you. They have you. You're going to leave early or you're going to spend two and a half hours in this parking lot.

01:01:41 Speaker_01
with your eight-year-old kid who needs to pee and is super upset and ate too much sugar and is having a meltdown in the backseat. Or $200, and you can get a house.

01:01:52 Speaker_05
Avoid shady guys who are trying to sign knockoff Otani T-shirts. Thanks. I have nowhere to go, but thanks. I have Vikings minus three against the Rams in LA. We both get it, and we got it exactly right. Oh, okay.

01:02:08 Speaker_05
Did McVeigh, he might have played his cards right. Like he rested, he rested Nakua and, because he knew we had this Thursday coming, right? So he rested both those guys and they should be back. Hooper, Kopp, and Nakua.

01:02:22 Speaker_01
Smart move. And it worked. This feels like a stay away game to me. Sure, I mean almost all of them are. That guy, that guy Vers on the Rams. Yeah, that's my guy. What were the defensive player odds for him? Didn't you recommend that?

01:02:38 Speaker_05
I bet it.

01:02:40 Speaker_01
It was high, right? It was like over, it was double digits. It was like 10 to one, 12 to one, 14 to one.

01:02:46 Speaker_05
I have 100 to win, 9.50.

01:02:50 Speaker_01
Plus 9.50. Yeah. Well, I think he's in the running. He was really good in the Raiders game today. Okay, Sunday marquee. Controversial, we don't usually do it this way because this isn't,

01:03:04 Speaker_01
the quote-unquote best game, and I'm not even positive one of the quarterbacks is gonna be playing in this game. But if he is, no, Washington, Chicago.

01:03:14 Speaker_05
At Washington. Yeah, so what do you wanna do with this? Because the line suggests pretty strongly one way or another if he's playing. So I don't know if you wanna throw this out, or do you wanna?

01:03:26 Speaker_01
What is out with the injury? What do we know? Nothing?

01:03:29 Speaker_05
Ribs and being evaluated tomorrow.

01:03:35 Speaker_01
I think we throw it out. Okay. I would have guessed, assuming Daniels was playing, I would have guessed Washington by three.

01:03:44 Speaker_05
That's exactly right. So it doesn't matter because that's what I had too. And it's Chicago one and a half. So it seems like they don't think he's playing.

01:03:53 Speaker_01
But I didn't mind, Mary. I don't know. He was okay. Was there a Jaden Daniels won't get out of October bet?

01:03:59 Speaker_05
Oh no. I don't know if there was.

01:04:02 Speaker_01
That was the big fair with him, right? I think we even talked, I mean, he's 140 pounds.

01:04:07 Speaker_05
I know, he's got to cover those ribs with something. By the way, they flexed that game, didn't they? Wasn't that like a 1 p.m. kickoff? They flexed it to 4 p.m. like last week.

01:04:17 Speaker_01
Oh, they did?

01:04:18 Speaker_05
Yeah, now it's, yeah, they moved, they might have moved your guys up. Jets Patriots was four, now it's back at one.

01:04:26 Speaker_01
Maybe you should've done it earlier. Start at seven in the morning. Watchables, Cincinnati home for Philadelphia. I have Cincy by two and a half.

01:04:37 Speaker_06
You got it exactly. What is it? I thought that was high. It's two and a half.

01:04:43 Speaker_05
I said one, so.

01:04:46 Speaker_04
And then why is three and four almost a field goal over four and two? It's just power ratings at this point.

01:04:56 Speaker_01
Are they two and five or three and four?

01:04:59 Speaker_06
Three and four. Yeah, three and four. Yeah.

01:05:04 Speaker_01
All the ranking stuff likes the Bengals.

01:05:07 Speaker_05
I mean, you talk about two teams I don't trust that everyone wants to talk about in the playoffs.

01:05:11 Speaker_01
Yeah, I promise I will not bet on this game. If you see this on Million Dollar Picks, you have to assume I'm now hooked on codeine with like Vicodin attached to it. I'm definitely on like hardcore drugs at that point.

01:05:22 Speaker_01
All right, well, that's what I'm waiting for then. Oh, Cincy, the Bengals box two and a half. Maybe we'll have like a codeine IB. Here's the other one. Buffalo at Seattle. This is just a good game.

01:05:36 Speaker_01
This would have been the marquee game if it wasn't the two rookie quarterbacks going against each other. I can't wait to watch this. I think I nailed this. Bills by one and a half at Seattle.

01:05:47 Speaker_05
Yeah, I mean, this is one, if I think about it for 10, 15 seconds and I don't get it, I go to my favorite one and a half. So we both said one and a half. It's three. Bills by three. Wow. Now do me a favor, will you do me a favor?

01:06:03 Speaker_05
If the bills go down like 10-0, will you and Hench not text me like, I told you the bills to win the division was a little sketchy. We made a parlay with the bills, Houston, Kansas City, and Baltimore to all win the division. It's about even odds.

01:06:18 Speaker_05
You can still get it about even odds. The bill, they're fine. They're gonna take time. If they need to win their last five, they'll do that. They're great.

01:06:28 Speaker_01
You know what I realized? Because I did my NBA Superboost this year, which I've hit the last two years in a row, and I've also hit the last two NFL ones. And I was like, what was the NFL Superboost we did this year?

01:06:40 Speaker_01
I forgot to do one, because FanDuel had that parlay booster thing. We never actually did a Superboost. Really? I don't think we ever actually did one.

01:06:51 Speaker_05
They give us so many names, Token Boosts and this and that.

01:06:54 Speaker_01
Yeah, they were doing those parlay tokens at us. And I think we would have done Detroit over. I think we would have done Green Bay over. And then I would have insisted on the Pats Under.

01:07:07 Speaker_01
Although they don't love necessarily doing the Unders with the Parlay Boosts. But I think it would have been something like that. Let's ask if we could do that now.

01:07:12 Speaker_05
We want to do a week eight Super Boost token.

01:07:17 Speaker_01
Congratulations reward. Yeah, I was really mad we didn't do that. Anyway, let's take one more break and then we'll do the rest of Guest Alliance. This episode is brought to you by Uber Eats.

01:07:32 Speaker_01
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01:07:58 Speaker_01
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01:08:08 Speaker_01
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01:09:12 Speaker_01
We did do a super boost. What was it, Cerruti? What'd we do? Denver over with Seattle over. Oh no. Was our super boost. Oh, that's gonna be good. We're gonna hit that. Denver over was like, wasn't it like six and a half wins? Yeah.

01:09:27 Speaker_01
And Seattle's over was eight and a half wins, and yes, Denver was five and a half. Thanks, Cerruti. And then Seattle, I think it was eight and a half.

01:09:35 Speaker_05
And Denver, North Carolina this week. Oh, man, we're gonna be so close right away.

01:09:40 Speaker_01
Superboost, baby. Kings of the Superboost. I'm gonna do my own voice doing the Superboost. Oh, you're so good at the Superboost. Oh, yeah, Cerruti says he bet it.

01:09:52 Speaker_02
I got the Sudafed Superboost of the day. It's the special neck with codeine Superboost.

01:10:01 Speaker_01
Four fairly watchables. Packers, Jags, it's both watchable and will be a train wreck. Coach Middleseat, going against, with feeling good after beating Gerard Mayo and the New England Patriots. He's back, baby.

01:10:19 Speaker_01
And now he's playing the Packers, the team with a really good defense. And they're gonna be home, and I think Green Bay is gonna be favored by two and a half.

01:10:27 Speaker_05
I said four, it's four and a half. I'm going to get that one. Yeah, they've had enough for Jacksonville, I think. They know. Plus, this is a pretty good coach against a not-so-great traveling coach.

01:10:47 Speaker_01
You see, well he's got one win in the United States, right?

01:10:50 Speaker_05
Yeah, that's true. Yeah, okay. He's gonna hang himself with a seatbelt extender, but no, but they're good.

01:10:56 Speaker_01
Is it, maybe it's because these games are on early in the morning, and I know the Pats were involved, and I was mad at how poorly coached we were.

01:11:03 Speaker_01
But they were showing the Jags on the sidelines, like smiling, excited near the end that they won, it made me upset. I was in my glasses on my cold medication. I'm like, fuck you, Trevor Lawrence.

01:11:16 Speaker_02
I'm mad at him. How dare you laugh at the end of this game?

01:11:23 Speaker_01
They're coming home. Oh, Bucs-Falcons. I know where you're going to bet this one. I already see this. What's your wise wager this year? You're like five and two, right? Five and two, yeah. Yeah, I think I could see you grabbing the Bucs there. I might.

01:11:36 Speaker_01
It's in Tampa. And I'm going to say bucks by two. Um, do we split this?

01:11:44 Speaker_05
Yeah, I have three. It's two and a half.

01:11:47 Speaker_05
Can I tell you, this is one of the, you know how I get depressed about, forget about the Mets and the Cowboys and everything else, but this time of year, those different times of the year where, oh no, football's almost over?

01:11:58 Speaker_05
This is the first week where teams have already played each other. So we saw the Bucs. That makes you sad? It does, yeah, because it makes me think, oh man, now everybody's gonna start having played each other twice in their divisions.

01:12:09 Speaker_05
This was 36-30 a couple weeks ago on that Thursday night, that crazy game the Cousins threw for 500.

01:12:16 Speaker_01
Well, maybe if you start feeling sad, there'll also be happiness as the Dodgers are beating the hell out of the Yankees, and we can watch the Yankees lose, and you can be like, well, we lost to the eventual World Series champions, which is always really comforting.

01:12:28 Speaker_05
Yeah, second place, a true second place.

01:12:30 Speaker_01
And not to put more pressure on the Dodgers, but nobody counts the 2020 title. Like I know you have a banner, I know you're excited about it, but it was the 60 game season, people are opting out, there are no fans, like come on.

01:12:42 Speaker_01
That was about as fake of a title as anyone's won. So time to win a real one, guys.

01:12:46 Speaker_05
The biggest story was Turner jumping in the team photo right after, right? And he had COVID and everyone freaked out. Everyone's like, oh no. That was a bigger story than the non-parade.

01:12:57 Speaker_01
I don't even remember who was in that playoffs. Texans, Colts, it's in Houston. It's an AFC South battle. I don't know how much you saw Richardson today, but he's that accurate.

01:13:12 Speaker_05
Very nice guy. Talked about Dairy Queen for a while. Yeah.

01:13:25 Speaker_01
I'm sure he's a nice guy. His passes just kind of go all over the place. And the other thing that's interesting is they don't use him like the Cam Newton battering ram anymore because I think they're afraid he's going to get hurt.

01:13:38 Speaker_01
So if you're not going to play him like unleash this maniac athlete, but now you have like kind of an inaccurate pocket passer, I'm not sure that's the best use of him.

01:13:49 Speaker_05
Yeah, he was the one, I love pointing out which halftime of the 1 p.m. Eastern game quarterbacks is doing. Yeah, you could always find someone with like 30 yards.

01:13:58 Speaker_05
I think he had like 41 at half, and that's probably why our friend JJ almost ran into traffic, because they couldn't beat the Colts. But he ran for 56 yards. I mean, he was a leading rusher.

01:14:10 Speaker_05
I don't know, they didn't have to do much to beat the Stolfens today, so.

01:14:13 Speaker_01
You know why JJ didn't run into traffic? Why?

01:14:16 Speaker_04
Because we beat the Guardians and we beat the Royals. And we're in the World Series. Next time I run into traffic, bro, it'll be the parade in Bronx. And I'll be on a float with Soto.

01:14:30 Speaker_01
He should have gone into traffic and asked if anyone on the street could name four Guardians.

01:14:35 Speaker_05
Can you name four Guardians? And not of the Galaxy. We're talking the baseball team. Texans minus four over the Colts a half. I said four also, it's five and a half. Okay. And that also was a rematch from week one, 29-27 Texans. Yeah.

01:14:56 Speaker_01
Chiefs at Raiders. There's a little backstory. Didn't somebody in the Raiders talk shit about Mahomes for the season? Oh yeah, who was that? Some doofus on the defense.

01:15:07 Speaker_05
That doesn't sound right.

01:15:10 Speaker_01
That's what happened. So you gotta factor in with this line, the Chiefs could easily be up like nine with two minutes left and Pierce could be like, we'll take the field goal. Oh yeah. Now we're down six.

01:15:23 Speaker_05
Yeah, the Pierce effect.

01:15:25 Speaker_01
This looks better in the newspaper. I have Chiefs by seven in Vegas. You know, I said seven also. 10 is the number.

01:15:36 Speaker_02
Oh, that's the first like true shocker of the year. That's a good one. 10 in Vegas.

01:15:44 Speaker_05
I think, well, there's a little payback, right? Because this is, they beat them on Christmas, so they're not gonna be overlooked.

01:15:51 Speaker_01
Or Vegas isn't afraid of them because they beat them last year. Right. That line seems too high. I went to this game three years ago. Oh, fuck it, I'm gonna talk myself into them now.

01:15:59 Speaker_05
But I went to this game three years ago in Las Vegas, ton of red, ton of red. So much red there. I don't know. I don't know what kind of advantage the Raiders have. But you're right. There could be a piercing.

01:16:12 Speaker_05
Should we call that like a ball piercing or something when you get screwed on the spread because piercing kicks a field goal?

01:16:19 Speaker_01
Pierce. Do you think any of his coaches is like, yo, coach. We're still gonna need a touchdown even if we kick this field goal. And you're giving up all this field position. Maybe try to get a pass interference or something.

01:16:32 Speaker_05
Coach, that's four minutes in the fourth quarter. You know that, right? That's not the third quarter. That's a four.

01:16:38 Speaker_04
Coach, it's the second half. It's not preceded. Coach, it's three hours into the game, coach. Don't be soft, we're kicking a field goal.

01:16:48 Speaker_02
We're cutting it at five, one stop. And all that we have to do is go 90 yards to get a touchdown instead of just going nine.

01:16:54 Speaker_01
Oh man. You know, I was worried that at some point as I got older, that the coaching would get smarter and there would be less stuff to make fun of. And it's just not true. Every week, dumb shit happens.

01:17:10 Speaker_01
Like Doug Peterson could just go up by 18 with 10 minutes left. He's like, nope, fourth to two, let's go. Let's do this.

01:17:19 Speaker_05
I guarantee ex-coaches or maybe current coaches, who knows, listen to us, maybe. There's gotta be some. And they must think we're assholes. But there's 50 bad decisions a day. And if we paid attention, there'd be 150. What gives?

01:17:33 Speaker_05
There's a whole aspect of a game that you and I can coach better than these guys, most of them.

01:17:39 Speaker_01
My friend Hershey, we were talking about quarterbacks, and he's around our age, and he's talking about the conundrum of Daniel Jones, where some Giants fans are like, oh, Daniel Jones, he can do this, he can do that, and he's like, I've been watching football my entire life, since I was a little kid.

01:17:55 Speaker_01
I've been watching quarterbacks week in, week out, since the mid-70s. I feel like I know if a quarterback has it or not at this point. It's not one of those talk yourself into it, maybe. It's like you kind of know or you don't know if a guy has it.

01:18:09 Speaker_01
And it's like I have five decades of experience now watching the signs for whether somebody has it or not. And he doesn't have it. And I was like, it's a great way to put it.

01:18:19 Speaker_01
Because in some ways, we're getting slower and dumber as we get older, but in other ways, we've watched so much sports, you have the veteran experience of just putting our 10 million hours in, watching games.

01:18:33 Speaker_05
Like riding a bike. I see a pothole, I'm gonna go to the left of it. I mean, just what are you supposed to do?

01:18:40 Speaker_05
Now, there's some politics involved, like Stefanski, I don't want to fully blame him for this situation because it just cannot be possible that he wants to star Watson and nobody else. Now it doesn't matter, but.

01:18:54 Speaker_01
The poopfecta. Jets at Pats. So the Jets somehow get to play the Pats twice in the first half of the season. One of the two worst teams in the league. And I think this is Jets by 6 1⁄2.

01:19:10 Speaker_05
Oh, you dirtbag. I said 7, is 6 1⁄2. What is the score here? That is a teaser. You're up 7-6.

01:19:24 Speaker_01
Could be a hard week of practices for the Pats. Gotta get tougher.

01:19:28 Speaker_05
You think so? I mean, you might just remain soft.

01:19:32 Speaker_01
Mayo just took over the team. He's gotta make this team tough. Oh no, he's been here the whole season.

01:19:38 Speaker_05
Well, what was it, 24-3 on that Thursday night? Yeah, but that was with Berset.

01:19:45 Speaker_01
Right, right, right. May's good. They have something with May. Now it's like, how do you build around this asset and do you have the right coach and the right front office to pick the right people to put around a genuine asset?

01:19:59 Speaker_05
And do all of your receivers have ages?

01:20:01 Speaker_01
This is a catastrophe, because this is so hard to find a quarterback who's actually good. A young quarterback who's actually talented and can move and has a good arm. They have the quarterback.

01:20:12 Speaker_05
Who's the best quarterback, new quarterback, on a team that's not very good? And he's been there for three years. Trevor Lawrence. Uh, I guess so. That's like your worst case scenario, right? But they wanted the vision though.

01:20:28 Speaker_05
Like is there anyone hanging as like nine and eight? Even the Chargers, I would say. Herbert? Yeah. I'm sticking to him as the example, but. Drake means good.

01:20:41 Speaker_01
Lions are home for the Titans. And I think this is what you were alluding to at the start of the podcast about how we have some old school lines. At first, I instinctively put down like Lions minus nine.

01:20:53 Speaker_01
I was like, wait a second, they're going to jack this up. And I just kept, and I went all the way to 13. I have Lions by 13. All right.

01:21:00 Speaker_05
I get you here. You went a little high. I said 11 and a half. It's 10 and a half.

01:21:04 Speaker_06
Oh, right. Let me see. Maybe they moved it. 10 and a half. It's too low, it's too low. I mean.

01:21:15 Speaker_01
That's an automatic, automatic three team 10 point teaser.

01:21:20 Speaker_05
Well, I was gonna say we should invite an old friend into our life, and there's another one we haven't hit yet, but I think we have two so far. I think you're thinking Lions over Titans, and you're thinking Chiefs over Raiders.

01:21:34 Speaker_01
I'm afraid of that Chiefs game. Oh, really? Yeah, I'm afraid of that one. I would probably do the Jets as the second one. Well, they're gonna lose to the Pats and go two and six. that they should just lead the team.

01:21:47 Speaker_01
It's so much fun rooting against them now. Yeah, it is. All right, we'll find two teams. But this is a free 10 points to use on a normal team. The Titans stink. This is our super bet boost, 10 point totem pole boost. Our 10 point Nyquil codeine boost.

01:22:05 Speaker_01
Dolphins home for the Cardinals, a truly awful game. Really bad.

01:22:11 Speaker_05
Well, hold on though, is this the one? Because our buddy JJ was screaming about how two is coming back. You think he's back for this?

01:22:21 Speaker_06
I don't know.

01:22:24 Speaker_01
Well, I'm going to pick the Dolphins by one and a half over the Cardinals at home regardless. Targeting whether he comes back or not. I said two and a half, it's three. No, maybe he's coming back. Are you beating me right now?

01:22:39 Speaker_06
Eight, two. Yeah. Wow, I went on a run here. Fuck.

01:22:45 Speaker_01
What am I doing? Eight to seven? Eight to seven. All right. Ravens at Cleveland. This is always fun. Don't know if you know this, Sal, but the Browns moved to Baltimore and became the Ravens. What? Was there like a van? Long time ago. Yeah. No, a long time ago.

01:23:02 Speaker_05
Was it in the middle of the night? At least they had a decency to do it during the day, right?

01:23:05 Speaker_01
Yeah. Um, I have the Ravens by three and a half. I feel good about this one.

01:23:12 Speaker_05
Wait a minute. This is your biggest swing and miss of the year. Ravens at Cleveland, the Baltimore Ravens at Cleveland.

01:23:22 Speaker_06
I got Ravens three and a half. What is it?

01:23:26 Speaker_05
It's nine and a half. In Cleveland? Yeah, in Cleveland, where they lose all their games. A team that hasn't gone over their point total all year. That is, that's my, that's by far my worst.

01:23:38 Speaker_01
Well, I told you I'm on drugs right now.

01:23:40 Speaker_05
That's it, that's it. Yeah, the drugs are killing you. I had nine.

01:23:42 Speaker_01
Wait, that line's way too high. The Browns have a pretty good defense. Do you watch the games today? They don't score. I know, but they don't ever score. It's important in these games.

01:23:52 Speaker_01
Plus they have a whole week with their new... I mean, just not having Watson's worth seven points.

01:23:56 Speaker_05
Yeah, and it is a short week for the Ravens. Nick Chubb?

01:24:00 Speaker_01
My guy? I had Nick Chubb, I have him on all my fantasy teams. You kept him? And each week, like a little baby bird, I just, I gave him little seeds and I poured water on his head and I tried to grow him back to life on all my teams.

01:24:13 Speaker_01
Didn't wave him, just kept him on, hogged the spot, just waiting for my guy, my favorite fantasy player, he's back. This will be the week. It's Nick Chubb week next week. He doesn't want to be back. We just crossed his team off. No, he's back.

01:24:27 Speaker_01
He's doing it for the love of the game, so.

01:24:29 Speaker_05
Yeah. That line's way too high. I think there's... Well, they don't want to get killed on teasers, right? Because everyone's teasing everybody who plays the Browns. Like, the Bengals was easy, even though they covered the Browns. But Bengals on a teaser.

01:24:41 Speaker_01
I started... I had a must win in our knockout league, because I snuck out a win last week, but I had wide receivers. Ed Kup and DJ Moore weren't playing, so I was scrambling for waiver wire guys.

01:24:53 Speaker_01
And I started Jerry Judy, who didn't, you know, they traded Amari Cooper. I'm like, alright, Judy. And he had no points halfway through the fourth quarter, and then he finally caught an 18-yarder.

01:25:05 Speaker_01
Needless to say, you'll be seeing Jerry on the waiver wire on Wednesday night.

01:25:10 Speaker_05
You're gonna beat me. You're gonna win two in a row here. You're a 71% favorite against me. You're up eight, you're a baker. What's my win probability? Is that my win probability? This is the one place I kinda rely on it more than anything. Yeah.

01:25:25 Speaker_05
with these dumb fantasy games. I don't even look at the score, but yeah, 71 to 29.

01:25:29 Speaker_01
That's a win probability. Chargers home for the Saints. Saints trying to lose six in a row. I have the Chargers favored by three and a half. Where is this game?

01:25:42 Speaker_05
Wow. Billy, boy. I said six. It's seven and a half. All right, what is going on? Well, I think you said it, you're on drugs.

01:25:54 Speaker_01
Why are the Chargers favored by over a touchdown against anybody? What? I like the Chargers, but I mean, they scored 20 points a game.

01:26:04 Speaker_05
The Saints were so bad. Like you should, you should have taken off your phone. If you like the Saints after that performance, that was so bad.

01:26:14 Speaker_01
I'm falling apart. Well, I'd probably hit this next one, because it's Broncos home for Carolina, a team that has to get at least nine points or higher against any team they play at. Broncos by 9 1⁄2.

01:26:28 Speaker_05
You are closer, but yeah, it's 7 1⁄2. I said 4 1⁄2, so you get that. So is that your, what's the three-team teaser? You don't trust Bo Nix yet. No, I don't. You saw that overthrow, underthrow pass. You loved it. I think you tweeted about it.

01:26:47 Speaker_05
It was terrific. I've never seen anything like it. It's beautiful.

01:26:51 Speaker_01
Then the two guys commiserated over it.

01:26:54 Speaker_05
Yeah, they quit the team. They turned in their jerseys. I thought he was pretty good in that game though. He really has flashes. Yeah, again, I don't know what that, that Saints team was just a mess and Peyton had that circled for years.

01:27:08 Speaker_01
Sunday night. 49ers Cowboys. Oh, Mike. Oh, this is why we do it, Mike. Are you kidding me? I thought Brady in the second half of that Niners game sounded like if Shanahan called up to the booth and said, could you start next week? He was ready to do it.

01:27:28 Speaker_01
He was genuinely disappointed by Purdy. Interesting.

01:27:32 Speaker_05
What could he do? Could he do all these things? Could he announce and own part of the Raiders and be quarterback of the 49ers? What else could he do? Could he play the big dom role for a team also? How many different hats could he wear?

01:27:47 Speaker_01
Could he play Silvio in a Sopranos remake?

01:27:49 Speaker_06
I would love that. That'd be great.

01:27:55 Speaker_01
Brady at the Bing.

01:28:02 Speaker_05
I hate this game. I hate it. I have 49ers by two and a half. Oh, wow. I thought you'd go higher and beat me.

01:28:11 Speaker_06
I said three and a half and it's five and a half. Good luck. That's too many points. This is kind of, who needs this more? The Niners, right?

01:28:30 Speaker_01
I mean, I think your team needs every game. You're gonna need 10 wins to make playoffs, both of them. I think both of them need it equally.

01:28:37 Speaker_05
Gotta get to 10 wins. Now it's a wild card battle for these two, probably.

01:28:43 Speaker_01
And shit, if Chicago gets to play Mariota instead of Jade and Daniels, they could be five and two.

01:28:50 Speaker_06
Yeah.

01:28:52 Speaker_01
Like Chicago might get to 10 wins. I think 10 wins is the cutoff for the NFC.

01:28:57 Speaker_05
It's gonna frustrate me, I don't wanna look at, but something tells me the Bears haven't played the best of quarterbacks in their runs.

01:29:04 Speaker_01
No, you're right. Monday night, speaking of not the best of quarterbacks, Steelers, home for the Giants. And we didn't really talk about the Russell Sants that much, but he did get it going as the game went along.

01:29:19 Speaker_01
I have Steelers by 6 1⁄2 at home against the Giants.

01:29:24 Speaker_05
I said 3 1⁄2, so I'm gonna get it. It is 4 1⁄2. Wow, what a demolition. I'm gonna have to drug you with the coding every Sunday night.

01:29:32 Speaker_01
Maybe you found the new secret, just infect me. That's it, yeah. Listen, those lines made no sense. Why wouldn't the Steelers be favored by, the Giants suck. The Giants are awful. We're gonna make some money.

01:29:42 Speaker_05
We're gonna make some money this week. There are some glaring errors here.

01:29:46 Speaker_01
And one of the errors in a 10-point tease would be good, because you could take them to plus five and a half.

01:29:51 Speaker_05
Oh yeah, you're right.

01:29:52 Speaker_01
Rahim, too, is a bonus. Rahim hates teasing it over the zero. It's like his least favorite thing, other than if you don't get a burner hotel room.

01:30:05 Speaker_05
He's going to Vegas this week too. Can I just tell you, I had a great time watching with the Ringer staff today. Yeah, let's hear about it. We did the pregame show and then Spotify has this great, it's a movie theater.

01:30:17 Speaker_05
It's basically, it's a theater, right? So you have a movie screen, right? You have a hundred seats and they had, and our producer Jack had another like 50 inch screen to the side of it.

01:30:28 Speaker_05
So now we have to figure out, well, let me ask you, how would you do the games? We got that giant, projection screen, and then we have a 50-inch map. Okay, yes. Yeah, we got access to everything. So how would you do it?

01:30:41 Speaker_01
I hope you didn't put the dolphins as one of the four games. Well... Because JJ, he bullied you into that?

01:30:47 Speaker_05
The dolphins were on the smaller TV, not on the big screen.

01:30:52 Speaker_01
So the bigger had a floor. Because we had Lions, Vikings, Packers, Texans.

01:30:55 Speaker_05
Yeah, we had the floor.

01:30:57 Speaker_01
And then it was kind of all the other games. Seahawks, Falcons was good. Oh, Seahawks, Falcons, that was a good one. Yeah, and then the fourth one was dependent on whatever you cared about.

01:31:06 Speaker_05
All right, now I love all these guys, but guess what most of them were screaming for on the big screen? The red zone and only the red zone. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no.

01:31:16 Speaker_05
I'm like, we got a giant, giant screen that we're never gonna see the size of the screen again. We have to put a four box on that. And they're like, okay, we'll put a red zone on the 50. I'm like, no, let's watch all the games.

01:31:28 Speaker_05
And I promise you'll know when a team's close to scoring by the yard line.

01:31:32 Speaker_01
By watching all the games that win.

01:31:34 Speaker_05
Yeah, but then they're like, oh, we got to hear Scott Hanson. We got to, I don't want to hear. I was like, oh my God. So I, I won the, I was going to go home. I was going to, I was very upset, but, uh, but I think we all had a good time.

01:31:46 Speaker_05
So it was a generational thing.

01:31:47 Speaker_02
The red zone, they love the red zone.

01:31:50 Speaker_05
I knew it, but I didn't think like given a, you know, we can watch Casablanca on that thing. Yeah. Yeah. Scott Hanson. So how was it on the giant movie screen? It was great. It's ridiculous. I recommend everyone come by next Sunday.

01:32:05 Speaker_02
I want to do it again.

01:32:08 Speaker_01
It was fun.

01:32:08 Speaker_05
Nothing like downtown LA on a Sunday morning. We had pizza. I'm on the Atkins, so I ordered a calzone. I dug out all the protein. It was beautiful. You're on the Atkins again?

01:32:19 Speaker_04
Yeah, because I'm a fat piece of shit.

01:32:21 Speaker_05
I haven't had a carb since Monday. No, because, you know, here's what, Melissa puts out the candy bowl for Halloween, October 1st, and I don't even like candy corn.

01:32:30 Speaker_05
I'm doing like fist after handful, you know, and I was like, I got to just not eat carbs till Thanksgiving. So we'll see what happens. It's a long way.

01:32:40 Speaker_01
Do you want to hear about the WNBA finals?

01:32:42 Speaker_05
Yeah, I didn't have it on the third screen, but. It looked like a lot of poor play, but the officiating was just as bad.

01:32:50 Speaker_01
Well, let me ask you, the final number was a 25 to 8 free throw advantage for the Liberty. Does that seem a little high to you, with both teams playing physical and driving in the basket? Seems a little out of whack. Home team. End of the game.

01:33:09 Speaker_01
Jones, who won finals MVP and should have, because she was great the whole series. Leslie Jones? Oh, it's a different Jones. JJ, JJ, their center. The other JJ. Just bowled somebody over and they called the defensive foul. It was awful.

01:33:27 Speaker_01
Like the announcers, they know what to do. Collier comes the other way. They have the ball up to 26 seconds left, the Lynx. Like if they score, the game's over.

01:33:36 Speaker_05
And we bet the Lynx, we should tell people.

01:33:37 Speaker_01
We have the Lynx for the series, 5-1. And I also really like Collier, and I was really into it. And Collier comes driving down. just misses a layup, gets hacked, and is immediately yelling at the refs.

01:33:51 Speaker_01
And she doesn't yell at the refs, they won't replay it. No replays at all. Then it comes back down to Breonna Stewart, who gets the ball, travels, and then kind of crashes into somebody and throws a shot up. Minimal contact.

01:34:05 Speaker_01
This is a game where people are just mauling each other the whole game. Collier's getting just killed. No, they call it, they challenge, because there wasn't a foul, and they're like, well, she wasn't in the correct guarding position. Two shots!

01:34:19 Speaker_01
And all of a sudden, Stewie's shooting two shots. They get it, goes to OT, and they foul Collier out, and it was just like, it was like David Stern era WNBA shit. Yeah. It's ridiculous. They won the championship. They shot 30%. They missed every three.

01:34:39 Speaker_01
And what was Sabrina? She was one for 19, and they won the title.

01:34:44 Speaker_05
Yeah, the two best were, what were they, like five for 33 or something?

01:34:49 Speaker_01
They were two for 23 from three, and they shot 30%. And so the Lynx were bitching about the officiating after, and they should have, because it was outrageous.

01:34:58 Speaker_05
Right.

01:34:59 Speaker_01
I thought the Lynx had a better team.

01:35:02 Speaker_05
Unlike the NLCS, many of those games were close and exciting. I'll give them that.

01:35:07 Speaker_01
It was great for the week. This game should have been on a Monday night. They had to fuck up the schedule until the bitter end, and they decided to go on a Sunday night against Jets Steelers and Dodgers Men's game six. Just like go to Monday against...

01:35:23 Speaker_01
against NFL, I guess there's two NFL games tomorrow.

01:35:26 Speaker_05
Well, by the way, that Sunday afternoon slate would have been fine, too. I mean, I know you're going against Chiefs Niners, but that was the only good game. Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm looking.

01:35:35 Speaker_05
You know, five for 42 from three, that should get your juices going for the NBA playoffs, no? Nothing else.

01:35:42 Speaker_01
Well, I was thinking, I was like, this is, this is the NBA playoffs. Nobody can make a shot. The coaching's terrible. And, uh, and the officiating is completely one-sided. It was like, they've really, they've done it.

01:35:53 Speaker_01
They've come up with their own league. It's a clone. I will never understand for the life of me, Minnesota. Collier was 11 for 23.

01:36:01 Speaker_01
I will never understand for the life of me why they didn't put her at the top of the key and just have her beat people off the dribble. Every time they did that, she got to the basket. And they were like posting her up so the Liberty could double her.

01:36:13 Speaker_01
I was like, what are you guys doing? Just clear out for her. She goes by everybody. But I thought she was the best player in the series.

01:36:20 Speaker_05
But she was an improper guarding position. That's the problem.

01:36:23 Speaker_01
Oh my God. Well, the other thing is Smith got hurt in game three. because Jones bowled her over. And then same thing happened in game five when she came out for a while, but she was pretty banged up. I think if she was healthy, we win the bet.

01:36:35 Speaker_01
It was a great bet. We didn't hedge it at halftime. Yeah, I know. We had the right one. Another great non-hedge for us. There you go. Really good at WNBA season though. And by the way, all do or die games are terrible.

01:36:51 Speaker_01
Like go back and look at 2016 NBA Warriors Cleveland. Like that's a fucking rock fight. 2010 Celtics Lakers, rock fight. 2005 Spurs Pistons, rock fight. When you get to that level, it's a rock fight. Because it's too tense. It's like too much pressure.

01:37:07 Speaker_05
It's like the baseball, their arms are too taxed at this point. That's why his velocity is down four miles an hour from when it was Monday.

01:37:17 Speaker_01
Yeah, maybe.

01:37:17 Speaker_05
Is that kind of it?

01:37:18 Speaker_01
I don't know. I don't know. Too tense. Today's Parent Corner is brought to you by Workday. Get the whole band together with Workday, pair finance and HR on one platform for an epic performance.

01:37:29 Speaker_01
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01:37:40 Speaker_01
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01:37:47 Speaker_05
All right, so I had the kids this weekend and Harrison had a tournament Saturday, a baseball tournament. And these are, because Melissa was away, she was in New York, she had like very, like a very serious thing.

01:38:02 Speaker_05
She had to get drunk with our sister-in-law all weekend. So she was off the grid, she wasn't here. So Harrison has games on Saturday. Now I forgot, I told you where we were. Where the hell was I?

01:38:17 Speaker_01
I thought it was like Encino or somewhere.

01:38:19 Speaker_05
No, no, no, no.

01:38:20 Speaker_01
Oh, San Clemente.

01:38:21 Speaker_05
San Clemente, yes.

01:38:22 Speaker_01
Great place for a tournament. I like San Clemente.

01:38:24 Speaker_05
Really good. It was nice. The weather's good and everything else. He's got a game at 6 p.m. and a game at 8 p.m.

01:38:29 Speaker_05
So they're done at 10, 15 and we're driving home and it's going to be 1130 and then I got to wake up for football and everything, London game and everything. So I'm already a little tense about that.

01:38:40 Speaker_05
So we get in the car, we get there for the six o'clock game. He's got to be there at five. We're in the car at 330. We get there and he gets out and he's like, oh no. It's like, I left my cleats at home. He's wearing Crocs.

01:38:53 Speaker_05
I said, what are you talking about? He's like, I left my cleats at home. Now for baseball, you could pretty much leave everything except your cleats. Like you could borrow the kid who's sitting on the bench's glove and his hat or something else.

01:39:05 Speaker_05
The cleats, they're no good. So I was like, I don't know what to do here. And he's pitching, he's starting the game. And I was like, all right, I'm gonna drop you a practice and then I'm gonna go find cleats. Hopefully I could do this.

01:39:19 Speaker_05
It's five o'clock on a Saturday.

01:39:20 Speaker_01
So you're googling, you're doing weigh-ins, you're doing big five and dicks and everything.

01:39:24 Speaker_05
Exactly what I'm doing, sporting goods in the area and San Clemente. And I come across Walmart and I look at the website and cleats, they have kids cleats and everything. I'm like, all right, that's good. That's 1.5 miles away.

01:39:39 Speaker_05
I drive away from his practice. I go to Walmart. It's gigantic. And I'm looking and I'm looking, I'm looking. Finally, I asked someone for help. And I'm like, hey, do you have a boys cleats? We don't sell cleats here. And I'm like, okay, what do I do?

01:39:54 Speaker_05
Do I yell? Did I scream at this guy? Do I throw a punt, what do I do? Or do I show them the website, I'm not sure what to do, or do I just get the hell out of here and try to find this again?

01:40:02 Speaker_01
I like complete disdain for customer questions.

01:40:04 Speaker_05
Yeah, exactly.

01:40:05 Speaker_04
Don't cleats.

01:40:05 Speaker_05
You fucking moron.

01:40:07 Speaker_04
You don't sell cleats here at Walmart. They have everything else. They have shin guards and everything. They sell Cheetos. Don't cleats.

01:40:11 Speaker_05
Yeah. So I just leave. I'm like, I was proud of myself for just leaving, and so now I have to go to the Big Five six and a half miles away. So now I'm gonna cut it close, because I have to go there and back. I get there, and I'm like, this little fucker.

01:40:25 Speaker_05
I'm going to get him the pinkest cleats that I could find. I'm going to get him these girl, I just, yes, exactly. It's just going to be frilly and everything. Oh yeah. It's going to be, uh, yeah. The dazzled everything. Uh, they don't have it.

01:40:40 Speaker_05
They have one pair of cleats and it's one size too big. And I'm like, we just got to get it. I got to get it.

01:40:46 Speaker_01
So I next pair of socks. That's the pair of socks to fill out.

01:40:51 Speaker_05
I let him, I didn't, you know what? I didn't even think about that. Had I, I might've just passed on it. I was like, I just, I'm going to give it to him here. So he gets the size sevens. I bring them to him. I get there like 5'56".

01:41:03 Speaker_05
The coach is going nuts because he might have to reshuffle the lineup. Can Harrison even pitch and Crocs? No, no way. He goes out there. He puts them on. They're big. He looks like a dope. He throws two innings to shut out ball. He strikes out five kids. Wow.

01:41:16 Speaker_05
And now it's like, you see? Now you see?

01:41:18 Speaker_01
Magic cleats.

01:41:19 Speaker_05
That's exactly what it was. He's like, you got the Magic Leaf. So I was like, I am not ready to joke about this probably for three weeks. So let's revisit this sometime in November. But the big story, that was the end of the story.

01:41:30 Speaker_05
But it's like, I don't know what my parents would have done. I think they just would have been like, you're on your own. I really do.

01:41:36 Speaker_01
I don't know. Your dad probably is like, sorry, you're gonna have to pitch in Crocs and you'll learn a valuable lesson. Exactly.

01:41:42 Speaker_05
As you let down your team. You're going barefoot and you're walking home from San Clemente. That would be it.

01:41:48 Speaker_01
All right, so I have some follow-up thoughts. First of all, a great idea for a small sports star would be called You Fucked Up. And it just sells cleats, t-shirts, cups. I love it. Socks.

01:42:04 Speaker_02
And say, oh, thank God there's a you fucked up three and a half miles away. I'm going to run over there.

01:42:09 Speaker_05
Didn't you have a similar thing for spouses? Like, uh, we got your sunglasses or something. I forgot.

01:42:16 Speaker_01
Sunglasses, purses, suntan lotion. Yeah, definitely. Here's the other thing now. Listen, we've been friends for a long time. I don't mean to throw you under the bus, but it is the parent's job to have everything before we go. Really?

01:42:30 Speaker_01
I guess I should have noticed. Your son's not like a rocket scientist yet. He's 10 years old. I remember leaving with Zoe because we had a similar thing where, you know,

01:42:43 Speaker_01
So we would always, I forget what she left behind, but it was always like, all right, do we have everything? Cleats, jersey, water bottle. We had like the five things and we would just go through the five things like she was Forrest Gump.

01:42:57 Speaker_01
And that's how we did it before we'd leave.

01:42:59 Speaker_05
But they get mad. They get to talk about indignity. They get mad when they're like 14.

01:43:03 Speaker_01
Yeah, at 14 it becomes insulting. Right. All right. I'll follow up. Maybe you're right. I should say I took my son to a lacrosse tournament this weekend, and it was black shorts. And we're like, do we have everything?

01:43:14 Speaker_01
And we go, and first game, and he's the only kid on his team wearing a black jersey with white shorts. So after the game, I was like, Ben, where are the black shorts? And he's like. Oh yeah, we don't need those.

01:43:25 Speaker_01
I'm like, you definitely, you were the only kid with white shorts. I'm pretty sure you needed them. My parent corner, I took my son yesterday and then my wife took over for the championship stuff today.

01:43:39 Speaker_01
But she had this tournament and it was in Santa Barbara, a lacrosse tournament at the Polo Club. So, you know, we have these tournaments Baseball, soccer, whatever, it always sucks. You're always in some crappy part of some town.

01:44:00 Speaker_01
You're not near anything. It's just a bunch of fields. It's really hard to park. If there's food there, it's probably one hot dog truck or maybe there's somebody selling a couple Gatorades.

01:44:12 Speaker_01
It's the lowest possible end of lucking out with food, drink, anything. And then if you have like the big ass tournaments, they might have something in the middle where it's like they'll sell t-shirts and jerseys and they'll have like a churro place.

01:44:24 Speaker_01
So this polo place was like fucking nice. They had like cocktails. There was like a bar. There was like, they're making quesadillas.

01:44:36 Speaker_01
They're making, there's like a quesadilla slash taco bar and they had like a sandwich place and there was like a coffee and smoothies place. But there was like a legitimate bar and it's between games.

01:44:49 Speaker_03
Is anyone watching the games?

01:44:51 Speaker_01
Well, cause you have like time to kill between the games, right? And it's 20, it's outdoors.

01:44:57 Speaker_01
So between like he had a game, there was like a 45 minute break and I wanted to get like some water and I went over and I decided to get at the bar I got because they had sparking water. I want a sparking water.

01:45:08 Speaker_01
And these ladies that were there, they're ordering like fucking margaritas.

01:45:12 Speaker_02
Oh yeah. And they're kind of decked out. I'm like, is this, this feels like the beginning of like a Netflix rom-com, like these parents

01:45:20 Speaker_01
meeting at some lacrosse tournament at the polo place. But these parents are fucking like having like real cocktails, like getting it on at this lacrosse tournament. I was like, wow, California never disappoints.

01:45:36 Speaker_05
I promise this isn't- They figure it out because you only have 45 minutes, but some of these parents, if there's like two hours between games, it's a slosh city.

01:45:45 Speaker_01
So that's one thing I'm pretty sure we don't need at sports tournaments are parents with a few drinks in them when there's kids in officials. Pretty sure that's a bad idea, but I won't judge.

01:45:58 Speaker_01
Then the other thing, and this is, I'm glad I'm here for this. These people that bring dogs to the tournaments. I don't know if this is on the agenda with Trump and Kamala for the election. I know there's a lot of things going on, a lot of positions.

01:46:16 Speaker_05
Kamala's emailed me like 12 times today. She hasn't brought this up.

01:46:19 Speaker_01
She hasn't brought this up yet? No. We should not have dogs at youth sports tournaments. Period. End of story. Do not bring your dog. Here's all the bad things that can happen with your dog.

01:46:31 Speaker_01
Your dog could just take a shit where all the parents are standing, right? You got that. Your dog, you could have like a yapping dog in a thing and we have to listen to your dog bark the whole time.

01:46:40 Speaker_01
You could think your dog wants to just go and walk over and go see some kid who's allergic to dogs. So you have that thing. And then the big thing is just a dog fight on the sidelines. No dogs at sporting events. Just period. Let's get rid of this.

01:46:56 Speaker_01
What are we doing?

01:46:57 Speaker_05
Especially drunk dogs.

01:46:58 Speaker_01
Leave your dog home.

01:46:59 Speaker_04
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm with it and you're a dog guy too.

01:47:02 Speaker_02
I have two dogs.

01:47:03 Speaker_04
I love dogs. Guess where I don't want to see dogs? At an outdoor sports tournament.

01:47:07 Speaker_01
Leave them home. It's too much. This one guy, he had one of those big canvas things that you would take if you're going to the airport, and he had three little dogs in there, and they're just barking at everybody else.

01:47:20 Speaker_02
And it's like, can I just watch the game without your three dogs barking in your little travel carrier?

01:47:25 Speaker_05
There's no rule for that, huh? Usually there's a sign that says you can't do this, but people don't care.

01:47:29 Speaker_01
It's such a bad idea. Honestly, it's one of the worst ideas possible. So anyway. I'm with you. Yeah, my son, they won the championship and then I posted the picture. There's this picture and for some reason he has no shirt on in the picture.

01:47:45 Speaker_01
So he's staying on brand at all times. It's all these kids with their uniforms. He's got his white shorts on. He's got a blue sun hat and no shirt. And I'm like, all right, Ben Simmons on brand at all times.

01:48:00 Speaker_05
Let me ask you something because I'm not sure, I love you like a friend too. I know you set me straight, but you posted, speaking of posts, happy birthday Murph. Not every day your dog turns four or something like that. Your dog is four years old.

01:48:16 Speaker_05
I don't know that you could do this after going off on like national whatever day. I'm not sure.

01:48:22 Speaker_01
I said happy birthday to Murph, to my best friend Murph.

01:48:27 Speaker_03
Yeah, it's fine.

01:48:29 Speaker_05
I get it. You also want to- You do a birthday post? You want a crusade against- I do a crusade against National Dog Day. ... posting something for National Daughter's Day, but when your dog turns four, you're like, oh, I got to put something up there.

01:48:37 Speaker_01
Birthdays are fine. Post birthday. Birthdays are fine. Dog birthdays? Yeah. What's your dog's name?

01:48:42 Speaker_03
I don't even know what my dog's name is. It's Super Dave. It's Super Dave. All right.

01:48:49 Speaker_02
I guess when it turns four- If you did a Super Dave post, I'd be like, oh, that's great. Super Dave's 11 years old.

01:48:55 Speaker_05
All right.

01:48:56 Speaker_01
It might be a lot. I only birthday posts, that's it. For dogs and family members, that's it? Yeah, my wife, she made him one of those little dog cakes. Her and her mom made it. Which are like, no, no, this isn't the bad, this is good for dogs.

01:49:13 Speaker_01
I'm like, there's just no way any cake is good for dogs. He's gonna be shitting all over that, but he didn't shit. Yeah, he's really moved into his own.

01:49:20 Speaker_05
Can I tell you a quick dog cake story? Please. Shit, now I'm gonna get the name wrong. No, I can't, I can't, what was it? Okay, so no, I went to a Simpsons table read. Our friend Donnick wrote on the Simpsons, and it was the coolest thing.

01:49:35 Speaker_05
It was probably like within three months of me moving out here, and it also happened to be their 100th episode, or some kind of milestone episode.

01:49:43 Speaker_05
So they had cake, and so everybody's eating cake, and I don't know why, but I didn't know that dogs aren't supposed to have cake. And so a dog comes up to me and I start feeding the dog chocolate cake. I think I'm doing something nice.

01:49:57 Speaker_05
And this guy comes up and screams, he's like, who the fuck?

01:49:59 Speaker_04
What is the fuck? Are you fucking kidding me? You're feeding the dog cake? Are you stupid? Are you stupid? Are you trying to kill my dog?

01:50:06 Speaker_05
And I'm like, I'm sorry, guy. I had no idea. I didn't know it was a bad thing. I thought it looked hungry. He's like, it looked hungry. You see, you know how stupid you sound right now? God. And he takes the dog, he walks away. It was Hanka's area.

01:50:18 Speaker_03
Is that true? I swear to God, it was true. Asked our friend Tony and asked Donny. That's my running with Anka's area. And he used all his voices too, to dress me down.

01:50:30 Speaker_05
How many years ago is this? This was, I don't know, 24? I should have known, yes. I was almost 30 years old. I should have probably known. So this was after heat when Pacino yelled at him?

01:50:44 Speaker_03
Yeah, I think so.

01:50:44 Speaker_02
She's got a great ass!

01:50:49 Speaker_05
He might've been channeling that. Anyway, happy birthday, Hank Azaria's dog. I'll post about it later. Hank Azaria, wow.

01:50:56 Speaker_01
Upgrading our friend Sal. That's terrible. There you go.

01:51:00 Speaker_06
What are you gonna do?

01:51:00 Speaker_01
Thanks again to Workday for sponsoring this segment. Be a finance and HR rockstar with Workday. To learn more, visit Workday. And if you've learned anything during this whole podcast, leave your dogs at home during a youth sports tournament. Yeah, yeah.

01:51:15 Speaker_01
Get drunk on churros and margaritas. Come on. The margaritas are fine. We're not going to judge you, but don't bring your dog and pound the margaritas at What do you have to plug? Lots of stuff.

01:51:26 Speaker_05
Through the Ringer with Tate. It's delightful every week. Cousin Sal's winning weekend. I have Dwight Gooden on. I'm gonna talk about the Mets. Little post-mortem for the Mets. Good doctor. Yeah, Dr. K. One of my favorites.

01:51:39 Speaker_05
Ringer pregame show with the fellas every Sunday morning and against the Lodz. The Degenerate Trifecta and I are doing an 11-hour deep dive into who has the best shot at winning the NBA in-season tournament. So there you go. Wow.

01:51:51 Speaker_01
What was your favorite NBA feature of all your NBA features?

01:51:54 Speaker_05
You know, I bet a bunch of yours and Rosillo's and houses. Did I put that away now? I like, I thought, you guys have some teams to not make the playoffs.

01:52:06 Speaker_05
And, oh no, you have under wins, and there to not make the playoffs was like plus 129, like New Orleans, I think I had. Yeah, Pelicans, no playoffs, plus 129. I think you guys like it. And I rode your, I got a lot on Phoenix over.

01:52:21 Speaker_05
You sure about that one? I think I got a good number on that.

01:52:23 Speaker_01
Yeah, I feel good about that. I mean, the rank could get hurt. That would be the way, you know, but you could say that about any team.

01:52:28 Speaker_01
I feel good about where we landed and we had that Clippers under, which was 37 and a half because we were kind of gambling that the Kawhi news maybe wouldn't be great. And then, uh, now it seems like, I mean, I don't even know when he's coming back.

01:52:41 Speaker_01
So that sounded like 35 and a half. I think Kawhi moved it too, but yeah, we, some of them moved, I think probably cause people were probably looking at the same things. Cleveland went up.

01:52:52 Speaker_01
The Philly one I think has stayed pretty similar, but I feel like that one should probably start falling down at some point. And then right after we did that pod, Hartenstein broke his hand. So I don't think that really budged.

01:53:09 Speaker_01
You get all your money back. No, I don't think that really budged the over-under though. It was interesting. My favorite out of all of them is probably still the OKC one seed bet, even with the Hartenstein injury.

01:53:22 Speaker_05
All right. You know what? I didn't hit that one.

01:53:23 Speaker_01
I think it was plus one 30. I don't know if it's up or down, but I think Phoenix, we said Phoenix and maybe Minnesota were the only ones that could get into the mid tie fifties.

01:53:35 Speaker_05
Yeah, you'd be proud of me. I did a bunch. I did SAR for Rookie of the Year. I did SGA mostly for MVP, a little on Wemby, Sabonis for rebounds, Luca for assists. I'll go over them with you later. I love it, love it all.

01:53:52 Speaker_01
I'm not allowed to bet the awards, so I wasn't super focused on it, but I didn't realize the Rookie of the Year awards The resashay was plus 750. I thought that was pretty good value for him. Because I think he's going to play.

01:54:10 Speaker_01
No, I just think Edie's plus 290, Shepard was plus 850. I'm not sure he's going to get enough minutes. And then Castle at 10 to 1 is interesting if he actually gets playing time.

01:54:23 Speaker_01
But I thought if, and then Klingin at 20 to one, did you see him in the preseason the other night? He was interesting too, but. I thought. Well, that's the thing.

01:54:30 Speaker_05
There's only like six guys that are definitely gonna get enough minutes, right? Barring injury from someone else.

01:54:35 Speaker_01
Misa Shea's gonna play, and I think Atlanta's gonna be pretty good, so. All right. That's a good one. Anyway. All right, Cuz, good job by you.

01:54:41 Speaker_02
Good job by you, buddy.

01:54:42 Speaker_01
All right, that's it for the podcast. Thanks to Cuz and Sal. Thanks to Kyle Creighton and Steve Cerruti. As always, don't forget new rewatchables, hopefully coming on Monday.

01:54:54 Speaker_01
And I'm going to have a new podcast for you either Tuesday or I won't see you again until Thursday. Not sure yet, but we'll see how it goes. Root for me. Root for my white cells. My T-cells? What are the cells that help you not feel as sick?

01:55:09 Speaker_01
Root for those. So I'll see you Tuesday or Thursday. Don't forget, you can watch this podcast that you just listened to. I don't know why you would. Maybe you want to double dip on the Bill Simmons YouTube channel. See you later in the week.

01:55:45 Speaker_01
Must be 21 plus and president select states for Kansas and affiliation with Kansas Star Casino or 18 plus and president DC. Gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit rg-help.com. Call 1-888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org.

01:56:02 Speaker_01
slash chat in Connecticut or visit mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here, visit gamblinghelplinema.org or call 800-327-5050 for 24-7 support in Massachusetts or call 1-877-8-HOPE-NY or text HOPENY in New York.