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Episode: SmartLess Presents ClueLess! 101 - It’s A Numbers Game

Author: Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, Will Arnett
Duration: 00:15:41

Episode Shownotes

On the debut episode of ClueLess, host Elliott Kalan and constant contestant Sean Hayes welcome Sean’s SmartLess pals Will and Jason to play a round of It’s A Numbers Game - we give you a simple math problem in the form of famous TV show titles with the numbers removed,

can you solve the clues faster than Sean and friends? And even if you do, can you reckon with the MegaClue?! Subscribe to ClueLess HERE. New episodes every Monday and Thursday.Puzzles in this episode are by Matt Broussard and Josh Richmond. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to new episodes ad-free and a whole week early.

Summary

In the debut episode of 'ClueLess', host Elliott Kalan and contestant Sean Hayes challenge each other alongside Will Arnett and Jason Bateman in a humorous game called 'It’s A Numbers Game'. The format cleverly disguises simple math problems as famous TV show titles with the numbers omitted, leading to entertaining deductions and witty interactions. As the game progresses, each host showcases their strengths in both math and pop culture knowledge. The episode culminates in a cliffhanger puzzle involving Prime Hydration, designed to keep listeners engaged for the next installment.

Go to PodExtra AI's episode page (SmartLess Presents ClueLess! 101 - It’s A Numbers Game) to play and view complete AI-processed content: summary, mindmap, topics, takeaways, transcript, keywords and highlights.

Full Transcript

00:00:10 Speaker_00
Sean Hayes and SmartLess Media are excited to announce the birth of an all new baby podcast. The podcast weighs in at a healthy 10 to 12 minutes. Sean Hayes is resting comfortably. This is Clueless. I'm Clueless!

00:00:35 Speaker_00
Welcome to episode one of Smart List Presents, Clueless, a brand new podcast where you, the listener, try to solve puzzles faster than Sean Hayes.

00:00:43 Speaker_00
My name is Elliot Kalin and I'll be your host because Sean Hayes can't just ask himself the questions, can he? It would be unethical. With me on every episode of this show is the man who loves games more than is really healthy, Mr. Sean Hayes.

00:00:56 Speaker_00
Sean, how excited are you for this new podcast on a scale from 9 to 10?

00:01:00 Speaker_03
You know, I'm at a 10, but you pick up the slack with your energy, Elliot. It's really infectious. Thank you. And listeners, by the way, this is Elliot Kalin, who you may know.

00:01:11 Speaker_03
was the head writer for Mystery Science Theater 3000, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, co-host of the bad movie podcast, The Flophouse, and now he's hosting this show for us. Yes. Thank you. Thank you.

00:01:23 Speaker_00
Now, Sean, we should explain to the listener. OK. What is this show all about? Each episode, you'll be playing a different main game, and it might be a word puzzle, or identifying a song, or choosing the odd one out. That game is called Odd One Out.

00:01:37 Speaker_00
But it won't just be you competing alone. You'll also be bringing on a selection of your funny friends and family to play along. Who do we have with us today? It's Will Arnett and Jason Bateman, everybody. Hi. Hi. Hi. We're excited.

00:01:50 Speaker_04
I was trying to harmonize.

00:01:52 Speaker_00
Will, Jason, welcome to the show. How does it feel to be Sean's funny friends and family?

00:01:56 Speaker_04
Jason, your family. I'm family. I'm funny friend.

00:02:02 Speaker_00
Before we begin, I have to know one thing. Jason and Will, what is your Sean Hayes gaming experience up to this point? Has he ever asked you to do it in public before?

00:02:11 Speaker_02
Oh, yeah. No, let's keep it clean. Okay. We, we, we used to gather over at his house for, for, for game night. Sean has been with us. We used to play a lot of poker together. I mean, he is, he is a, he's a gifted gamer.

00:02:28 Speaker_04
Let me, let me just say that I got passed over a little bit on the game, on the game stuff. And I, have I forgiven him? Yeah.

00:02:40 Speaker_02
And you ask why? Because I'm a big person. I don't remember you being a part of the group at that moment. Exactly. No, I wasn't.

00:02:46 Speaker_04
I wasn't a part of the group. And that's a, it's a big conversation. You were always here. Yeah, I was always on your mind.

00:02:51 Speaker_02
The trip to like Istanbul and stuff. Was that before or after game night at your place, Sean?

00:02:56 Speaker_04
Istanbul was after, but Venice was before.

00:03:00 Speaker_02
But Venice didn't go very well. No. And here we are.

00:03:06 Speaker_04
Well now, new beginnings. But now we're here, new beginnings, Elliot. Now you've really unearthed some old dirt.

00:03:10 Speaker_02
This'll stitch us back together.

00:03:12 Speaker_04
Maybe it'll launch a podcast for the three of us to be on. But we're very excited. I'm very excited. And I know Sean's love of games is deep. Very deep. He loves games. Yeah, I like it. It's fun. It's fun.

00:03:22 Speaker_00
Sean is a master gamer. I love getting that peek inside of your relationship. It briefly turned into a James Bond movie with all the international locations that got thrown into the mix. Sean, Will, Jason, enough talking about the past.

00:03:46 Speaker_00
Let's look ahead to the present. Today's main event, It's a Numbers Game, TV show edition. Cue the theme song.

00:03:54 Speaker_05
It's a Numbers Game.

00:03:58 Speaker_04
It's a Numbers Game. TV show edition. I keep forgetting there's a band right behind me. Because I saw them load in. I can smell the weed. Yeah, you did.

00:04:12 Speaker_00
It's a numbers game. It's so good. All right, let's begin. This game is built around TV shows with numbers in their titles.

00:04:20 Speaker_00
You are going to be tested on your very useful knowledge of television shows and also your very useless knowledge of basic elementary school math. 227. I like that you were so ready with a number right off the bat.

00:04:34 Speaker_00
It will be a winner in one of these questions. Each question will take the form of a simple math equation, only instead of numbers, I'm going to tell you a TV show title that has had the number removed from it.

00:04:46 Speaker_00
You're going to have to recognize the show, understand the number, and then solve the equation using the missing numbers, and you can get a bonus point as a group for responding with an answer in the form of a TV show title.

00:04:58 Speaker_00
So I'm going to give you an example. This is just a practice one. This doesn't count to your score. Let's try this out. If I said, Day Fiance minus for 30. what would the answer be? And you can talk it out too, work it out between yourselves.

00:05:11 Speaker_04
90 Day Fiance, 30 for 30. So it'd be 60.

00:05:14 Speaker_00
Yep, you got that right. And if you wanted that extra point, what is there a show title with 60 minutes? Oh, 60 Minutes. You got it, 60 Minutes. You could have also said Studio 60 or any of the millions of TV shows that have 60 in their titles.

00:05:27 Speaker_00
Okay, then let's play It's a Numbers Game, TV show edition. The first question is, million dollar man divided by Stooges.

00:05:38 Speaker_03
Six million dollar man, and then by three stooges. Six divided by three is two. Oh, two, and then you gotta do a show with two in it. Two, two, seven.

00:05:49 Speaker_00
Nice, you got it. Perfect, two points. Two and a half minutes.

00:05:53 Speaker_02
Fuck, you used it.

00:05:54 Speaker_00
You used it right away. I feel like I should give you double extra points, because there's two twos in that name. Yeah, you should. I would like it, I'll take it. Okay, so that's three points total for that first question.

00:06:06 Speaker_00
You're getting more points than you're supposed to. Question two is, Reno nine plus and a half men.

00:06:16 Speaker_04
14 9-1-1 three and a half men 13 hang on hang on And Reno 9-1-1 could be 11 or what are two ones? I think we gotta go 11.

00:06:23 Speaker_03
I think we have to go with 11 11 and then what I think plus plus 13 is 13 and 13 reasons why

00:06:42 Speaker_04
Yep, you got it. That's great. What's 13?

00:06:45 Speaker_02
What's 13 reasons why? Oh, it's a why a vehicle on Netflix.

00:06:48 Speaker_00
It can be seen massively successful. Young people love it. Young people love it. And it sucks.

00:06:53 Speaker_04
And I can give you 14 reasons why.

00:07:03 Speaker_00
Let's go to question three. This one might be a little more difficult. I'm gonna try to enunciate as much as I can. This is th, heaven, times s, company. Seventh heaven.

00:07:14 Speaker_04
No, seventh heaven. Times? Wait, wait, 21 Jump Street.

00:07:20 Speaker_02
That's right, you got it. I thought you said something different on the second show. I thought it was six something.

00:07:24 Speaker_00
It could have been six's company. Who's your cable provider? Could you have different shows? Three and a half men, six's company, yeah. That was very fast, very impressive. You guys are blazing through this game. Let's continue it to number four.

00:07:40 Speaker_00
This question is Beverly Hills 0210 minus is enough.

00:07:49 Speaker_02
One. Beverly Hills 90210 is enough.

00:07:53 Speaker_04
We got to think of the show. Minus eight.

00:07:55 Speaker_02
Oh one.

00:07:56 Speaker_04
Murder one.

00:07:58 Speaker_02
Murder One, very good, Will.

00:07:59 Speaker_00
Yeah, very good. You got it. Murder One, that's two full points. It's just fantastic. Sean, by the way, you suck at this game.

00:08:06 Speaker_02
I haven't heard one answer from you.

00:08:08 Speaker_03
No, I got the first one.

00:08:09 Speaker_04
Why do you have a pen in your hand? What are you doing? I'm writing the numbers down. It's obviously helping.

00:08:18 Speaker_00
Question five. Things I hate about you minus Babylon.

00:08:25 Speaker_03
What is it, 10 things I hate about you, or what is it? What's, is it 10 things, is it 10, Elliot?

00:08:32 Speaker_04
I think it's 10 things I hate about you minus Babylon. Five? Babylon. Babylon five, yeah. Five, yeah, so it's Party of Five. Great, you got it. Wow.

00:08:44 Speaker_00
Wow.

00:08:44 Speaker_03
That was good, that was good, Party of Five. Incredible, Will.

00:08:47 Speaker_00
You all have such unique strengths that come together as a team. Jason with the numbers, Will with the TV shows, Sean with the writing down the numbers. Yeah. It's good for record keeping for later.

00:08:56 Speaker_04
Yeah, for sure. Sean, would you consider it a compliment if he says your strength is writing stuff down? Yes. That's all he could- I'll take anything I can get. Sorry, in the MCU, is there a superhero whose superpower was writing stuff down?

00:09:16 Speaker_04
The stenographer. He was the stenographer.

00:09:22 Speaker_00
Okay, that was a great game. You guys played an amazing game, but just because you're done with the game does not mean the game is done with you. There's also the matter of this episode's Mega Clue. Mega Clue questions you. Beautiful.

00:09:35 Speaker_00
This is a final question made out of the answers of all the previous questions. So I'm gonna remind you what those answers were. I would tell everyone, except Sean doesn't need to know this, because he already has it.

00:09:45 Speaker_00
Everyone take a moment to get a pen, something to write on, so I can remind you of what the correct answers were.

00:09:51 Speaker_04
I take it back on Sean writing it down. It turns out that was smart.

00:09:55 Speaker_02
If you're driving, lodge your knees just underneath the steering wheel, grab a pen, keep your eyes on the road somewhat.

00:10:01 Speaker_04
Yeah, if you have a candle on your dashboard, careful. Sorry, Elliot, there are some.

00:10:07 Speaker_00
There are Easter eggs here. No, but it's a good point. Set aside the rotisserie chicken that you're picking at with your non-driving hand, so you can put a pad there, so you can wait during that time.

00:10:16 Speaker_00
Okay, here are the numbers that you have already had as your answers. 2, 13, 21, 1, and 5. Yeah. I'll tell you again. 2, 13, 21, 1, and 5. Now I want you to add those numbers together. And then subtract from that number. That was great.

00:10:41 Speaker_04
I didn't even have a pen with me and I did that at my... Oh man!

00:10:45 Speaker_00
Amazing! Talk about your superpower, math!

00:10:47 Speaker_04
Mr. Math Man! Hey, algebra!

00:10:52 Speaker_00
Now, add those numbers together, 42, and then subtract the number of monkeys in the title of a television adaptation of a 1990s science fiction film, and then tell me, can you think of a show with that number in the title?

00:11:06 Speaker_04
1334 but it's 34 12 monkeys or 8 monkeys 30 30 30 something is it 30 30 something

00:11:17 Speaker_00
Oh, wait, what? 42 minus 12, 12 monkeys for 30. And then I was hoping that someone would say 30 something, because it's the rare television show where they spelled out the number. They didn't just put a numeral there.

00:11:28 Speaker_00
Oh, they spelled out 30, yeah, that's right. And for one final, absolutely last question, take that last number, and I want you to add it.

00:11:35 Speaker_02
And stick it up, yep. That's the way we'd end things on Smart Lists, you know.

00:11:43 Speaker_00
Take that last number, add it to 9,970, and can you tell me the name of any pyramids that are worth that much money?

00:11:51 Speaker_02
Ahhh. The $10,000 pyramid.

00:11:53 Speaker_03
You got it.

00:11:55 Speaker_02
Elliot, I put you and this show on the top of a million dollar pyramid. It's so damn good.

00:12:00 Speaker_03
Yeah. Thanks. Elliot, you're brilliant. It's a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun, Elliot.

00:12:04 Speaker_02
You know, it's a hoot, you guys.

00:12:07 Speaker_00
Listeners at home, did you do better or worse than these actual 100% authentic famous people? If you did better, maybe you should be famous. Your mom keeps telling me how talented you are. Think about it.

00:12:18 Speaker_00
Sean, Will, Jason, thank you so much for being with us today. I'll be very sad to see you go. So it's a good thing the show's not over yet because every episode of Clueless ends with the cliffhanger puzzle.

00:12:29 Speaker_04
Stick music, there it is.

00:12:31 Speaker_00
You wanted more sting music, you got it. Heavy bass line. The cliffhanger puzzle is just a little bit of extra puzzle. We put it in a tougher way for you to take home and pick at it until the next episode.

00:12:41 Speaker_00
And today's puzzle takes the form of a little story. It seems that the energy drink Prime Hydration has been so successful that the company celebrated by creating two solid gold Prime bottles. The gold bottles are an appropriate vessel for the drink.

00:12:58 Speaker_00
Silver bottles would also be appropriate, but iron or tin bottles would not be. Why is that the case? That's for you to noodle over until our next episode.

00:13:09 Speaker_00
Sean, Will, Jason, are you guys going to get any sleep between now and the moment you learn the answer to this puzzle? Not if I get all hopped up on Prime Beverage. Yeah, I'm going to sleep great. I'm going to be honest with you. Maybe even better.

00:13:23 Speaker_00
Maybe a little better than normal.

00:13:24 Speaker_04
I mean, Elliot, I got to say, just the very end of your question, I was just entering REM.

00:13:32 Speaker_00
We'll reveal the answer to today's cliffhanger puzzle at the top of our next episode, which, guess what? You can listen to right now.

00:13:39 Speaker_00
Just click the link in this episode description to follow us on Apple Podcasts or search for SmartList Presents Clueless in your podcast app of choice.

00:13:47 Speaker_00
Make sure to follow, subscribe, rate, review, all the things that you can do to let us know you love this show. And with that, this first episode of Clueless must come to an end. Will, Jason, thank you so much for joining us.

00:13:59 Speaker_00
Sean, thank you for being Sean Hayes. Somebody has to. I'm glad you took the burden off. It's exhausting, yeah. And as long as I'm just handing out thank yous, why don't I toss one to the audience's way as well?

00:14:08 Speaker_00
Thank you, audience, for listening to this show. This has been Clueless. We'll be back next episode with more puzzles and more Sean Hayes, not necessarily in that order.

00:14:16 Speaker_00
I've been your host, Elliot Kalin, reminding you to join us next time, because if you give us less than 24 hours notice, we still have to charge you for the appointment. Goodbye.

00:14:24 Speaker_01
Yay.

00:14:24 Speaker_02
Very nice.

00:14:25 Speaker_01
Great job, Elliot. Thank you, you guys. Thank you, Elliot. Clueless. You have been listening to Smartless Presents Clueless, a Smartless Media production in association with SiriusXM. Your host is Elliot Kalin, who also writes our scripts.

00:14:38 Speaker_01
Your constant contestant is Sean Hayes, who is 5'11". Your producer, editor, and engineer is Devin Torrey-Bright, who is me. I also write all the music and sound effects. Assistant engineer, Kyle McGraw.

00:14:50 Speaker_01
Today's puzzles were written by Matt Broussard and Josh Richmond. Talent Producer is Anne Harris. Associate Producer, Maddie McCann. Social Media Producer, Tommy Galgano. Executive Producers are Elliot Caron, Sean Hayes, Will Arnett, and Jason Bateman.

00:15:04 Speaker_01
Executive Producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminsky. Remember to follow, subscribe, rate, and review the show. It really helps. That's all for now. We will see you again for more.

00:15:24 Speaker_05
I'm Clueless.