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Episode: Side Stories: The Healthcare Killer

Author: The Last Podcast Network
Duration: 01:09:42

Episode Shownotes

Henry and Eddie bring you this week’s biggest stories and true-crime news as the country reacts to the killing of United Healthcare CEO Brian Thompson and the arrest of suspected vigilante assassin heart-throb Luigi Mangione - and then - numerous listeners report first-hand mysterious sightings as suspicious drones continue to

swarm the skies of the East coast, Nearly 200 people killed in gang-led massacre in Haiti, and much, much, MORE! Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to ad-free new episodes and get exclusive access to bonus content.

Full Transcript

00:00:00 Speaker_04
Do you want to listen to Last Podcast on the Left without ads? Do you want extra content? Do you want to see what it's like behind the scenes? Patreon.com slash last podcast on the left.

00:00:11 Speaker_02
There's no place to escape to. This is the last podcast on the left. Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started.

00:00:23 Speaker_04
Side stories.

00:00:24 Speaker_02
Yes.

00:00:31 Speaker_04
What was Luigi Magnoni doing in the McDonald's? He was ruining his cholesterol count. Oh, you better be careful with that.

00:00:39 Speaker_06
Luigi. Luigi, why? Luigi, why? Tell me, Luigi. You told your mother you were going to be a priest. Oh, Luigi, you got such a big eyebrow. You make the ladies faint.

00:00:58 Speaker_05
See, I think it was more like a

00:01:01 Speaker_03
Oh, Luigi, you're such a good boy. Oh, thank you so much. Oh, Luigi, I always remember the day I had you. I had such a shattering orgasm that the doctor thought I was having a seizure. I came when you were conceived and when you were born. Oh, Luigi.

00:01:26 Speaker_04
Where's your green overalls, you mook? Yeah! Welcome to Side Stories. You're here with Henry Zebrowski. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson.

00:01:34 Speaker_05
How you doing? And I'm sitting here as far away from Henry without still being on camera. I like being next to you, though. It is nice. We spend a lot of time together.

00:01:44 Speaker_04
We really do. We really do. So, for those of you that don't know, What happened?

00:01:51 Speaker_05
Has anything, side stories-ish, been in the news? There's been a lot of news.

00:01:56 Speaker_04
A lot of news. A lot of news. Did you know? Fucking Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly are breaking up. Again? Yeah. Again? I just lost $30,000 in the Las Vegas market betting that they would make it. I can't believe it. And she's pregnant. Whoa. I just lost 60.

00:02:18 Speaker_04
Come on.

00:02:18 Speaker_05
Put a NuvaRing on it.

00:02:19 Speaker_04
Fuck me. I gotta get off this fucking, I gotta, oh God, I gotta. Celebrity gambling. Bookies. These are everywhere. So for those of you that don't know, see we were in New York City for this entire news story. Yes.

00:02:34 Speaker_04
We were in New York City doing, having a blast. We performed in Philly. Holy fucking shit. Was that show great?

00:02:40 Speaker_05
Wild show. We got some more coming up, by the way. Now's the perfect time to just plug them real quick. Classy Night Out, 12-21, 8 p.m. Masonic Lodge, the Hollywood Forever Cemetery.

00:02:50 Speaker_05
We got Jackie and Cara Clank, Holden McNeely, Amber Nelson, Blair Sochi, Sina Ghaznavi and Logan Metz are gonna be on that show and also Side Stories is coming to Dad's Garage, which is almost sold out.

00:03:01 Speaker_04
I can't wait. And that's gonna be a fully improvised show, not like all the rest of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're professionals at this.

00:03:09 Speaker_05
Yeah. Well, we won't even have a structure. No, I can't wait. Usually we have some sort of structure. They're gonna tell us what the show is. That's pretty great. I'm pretty excited. Yeah, so Dad's Garage, that's gonna be on January 12th at 7 p.m.

00:03:21 Speaker_05
in Atlanta, so come check us out there.

00:03:23 Speaker_04
And more shows are coming. Yes, and while we were having a fantastic time, a CEO of UnitedHealthcare, a person by the name of Brian Thompson, was shot dead outside of a Hilton in Manhattan. We now know. The whole country went to flame.

00:03:39 Speaker_04
And when the story first broke, and I'm proud of us.

00:03:40 Speaker_05
He kind of looks like the bad guy from Incredibles all grown up, like the kid. Oh yeah he does, he does kind of.

00:03:47 Speaker_04
So the news first hit that there was a shooter, this guy got shot, Brian Thompson. I think it was Tuesday. We recorded Side Stories Wednesday of last week. We decided to hold off and wait. We talked a little bit about it on Dan Soder's podcast.

00:04:01 Speaker_04
We kind of hemmed and hawed a little bit. But it was right before the whole story went- It was still developing. I almost didn't believe that it happened at this point still.

00:04:08 Speaker_04
Cool, because then we recorded the last podcast last week and that was when the deny, depose, delay, that was turns out that the shooter had on the bullet casings carved in this would seem to be sort of like a manifesto.

00:04:22 Speaker_04
And that was when they found the bag of Monopoly money also supposedly left by the shooter. They had the smiling picture of him flirting with the person at Starbucks.

00:04:31 Speaker_04
I think it was at the hostel he was flirting with, which is, again, just let the penises take a fucking

00:04:36 Speaker_04
break Luigi and so he is excited I know no of course of course but we went through a whole like and so we waited and I think it's good that we waited because now we know who the person is because we were all certain everybody I was talking to in New York City everybody was around me we're all like he's a professional assassin

00:04:53 Speaker_04
He seemed like it. And he is going to work his way John Wick style through the healthcare industry. And then it just doesn't happen. He's a kid, a kid by the name of Luigi Mangione, 26 years young. He was found in a McDonald's in Altoona, Pennsylvania.

00:05:09 Speaker_04
And my God, does he have a body that just won't quit?

00:05:12 Speaker_05
Yeah, no, he definitely looks like a G.I. Joe.

00:05:15 Speaker_04
Luigi Mangione, he is the most important fuckboy of 2024. Yeah. He has done crazy, and those brows want to kiss each other, and I can roast him because he's a murderer. Yes.

00:05:26 Speaker_04
I can roast him because I'm looking at him and it's like, now that Brian Thompson looked any better, and I can roast him too. Yes, Brian Thompson is super fucking ugly. Yeah, this guy's beautiful.

00:05:35 Speaker_04
Now, it seems that the entire country flipped the ever-living fuck out because it seems that... Eddie, tell me if I'm wrong. A lot of people are angry with the healthcare industry.

00:05:51 Speaker_05
Oh, you know, I haven't heard about this.

00:05:52 Speaker_04
Isn't that weird? Because at first I was like, why would you be mad at the healthcare industry? Yeah, all they do is take care of you and make you feel better.

00:05:58 Speaker_04
What I loved was how many times just this year I had to reapply to get my important medication, my medication that I'm crazy enough to get.

00:06:11 Speaker_04
And how long it took to get and then how many times I've had to pay for something out of pocket just for the sake of not wanting to deal with it. And that's also just draining me. You know what I mean? It's just draining you.

00:06:20 Speaker_05
It really takes a lot out of you. I remember when my mom had her blood sugar machine taken from her. because she didn't have $800. And then, you know, because it would go off when she would, you know, whenever her blood sugar would drop.

00:06:34 Speaker_04
Did she think of just dying to sort of like do that, just kind of stop the, because my thing is the, I feel like the healthcare people got to get so sick of hearing from everybody.

00:06:42 Speaker_05
Yeah. I mean, well, the thing is she did.

00:06:44 Speaker_04
Yeah. I mean, a whole lot of her about it. Good for her. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

00:06:47 Speaker_05
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cause she, her sugar dropped when she was asleep and her blood sugar monitor didn't go off because she didn't have it anymore and she didn't wake up. Yeah. So you're saying that America killed your mother. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:07:02 Speaker_05
And then, you know, the thing is, and then, you know, you go and you think about this stuff. And then, you know, my father, you know, a couple of years later, he finds himself in a little trouble. He gets COVID, you know. He had me at bed COVID.

00:07:13 Speaker_05
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, and then he died. And then we got a nice, I think we got a $30,000 bill for his death. Oh, God.

00:07:22 Speaker_04
Honestly, I'm kind of angry that it wasn't more.

00:07:24 Speaker_05
Yeah well it was two million and they took care of a lot of it. Oh wow.

00:07:29 Speaker_04
Why aren't you thanking them?

00:07:30 Speaker_05
Yeah you're right I should just thank them. We should have been at Brian Thompson's funeral. It was cheaper for him to die than it was for him to keep going.

00:07:38 Speaker_04
Now there's a lot of people that are angry and it's because Why? Why are people angry? This is the circle of life. People should just be fine with this. Of course. No, it's just choices that your father made to get COVID and to go to the hospital.

00:07:52 Speaker_04
He chose to go to the hospital. He could have died at home. He could have easily. He would have been free to die at home. He could have died for free at home, Eddie. Actually, no.

00:08:01 Speaker_04
Because you would have had to have someone come and pick up his corpse and you'd have to pay that guy. That's not covered. No, definitely not. None of that would be covered.

00:08:10 Speaker_04
People are angry because people like Brian Thompson made a lot of money and they look at us humans walking around as a bunch of numbered, coin-filled pigs. You could say that he...

00:08:24 Speaker_05
helped contribute to hundreds of thousands of deaths.

00:08:27 Speaker_04
Yep, and Luigi Mangione, who is not, let's see, he's not perfect. No, I don't agree. He's a murderer.

00:08:33 Speaker_05
I do not agree with vigilante justice.

00:08:35 Speaker_00
He's a murderer for the record.

00:08:37 Speaker_05
And so, and I also, you know, you wonder, you know,

00:08:41 Speaker_04
Maybe he was pushed to a limit? I don't know, Eddie.

00:08:45 Speaker_04
It seems that it's shocking to both the media and the various other CEOs who went immediately into hiding that Brian Thompson would be shot because they didn't think that they would ever be treated like one of the numbered pigs that they look at with no feeling from giant glass towers as we all walk around.

00:09:05 Speaker_04
Because guess what this shit comes for? Everybody. It comes for everybody. Even if you have money. Because we talked about this. Why did Luigi Mangione do this? He has a manifesto. I read the manifesto.

00:09:18 Speaker_05
How was it?

00:09:20 Speaker_04
Hilarious. I know he's a Ted Kaczynski fan. Well, I'm kind of sad because we didn't get a shout out.

00:09:26 Speaker_05
You'll be on one eventually, Henry.

00:09:28 Speaker_04
Come on, guys, please. Come on, guys. But yes, he is a Ted Kaczynski fan. He said that felt like, which it was very chilling, his final words in his Goodreads review he did of Ted Kaczynski's manifesto.

00:09:43 Speaker_04
Under his review of industrial society and its future, I think it's really interesting. He says that oil barons haven't listened to any environmentalists, but they feared Ted Kaczynski. I think it's interesting that he went out there.

00:09:57 Speaker_04
He said, I do think he said that Kaczynski was a violent individual rightfully in prison because he maimed innocent people.

00:10:04 Speaker_07
Yeah.

00:10:04 Speaker_04
And in the idea of moving his manifesto along, he did attack innocent people, people that were not a part of the system.

00:10:11 Speaker_04
And actually, in many ways, that's why Ted Kaczynski was wrong, is that he had a lot of ideas, but he did not want to do anything to really fix them besides kill people and maim things. And that's not actually, it isn't actually helpful.

00:10:23 Speaker_04
But what Luigi... At least he had the good grace to live in the woods. I mean, especially from apparently what his balls smelled like. He said he just smelled like fucking rotting milk 24-7, but hey, what are you gonna do?

00:10:35 Speaker_04
Luigi Mangione is not a hero, but he is a reaction. And I think that we are seeing why people are extremely angry. And according to his manifesto, his mom was also put through the entire healthcare mill

00:10:49 Speaker_04
And he was put through the healthcare meal, he got a fucking horrible back surgery, he's living his life in constant pain, he's never come back from it, there's no help, there's nobody to look out for, so he did reach a breaking point, and I'm just actually surprised this is the first time.

00:11:05 Speaker_04
And it'd be different.

00:11:07 Speaker_04
if the company mourned brian thompson's death they moved on they did the meeting that hour they did not care about his own death they didn't even wait at all they put up a a fucking linkedin notice for his job 48 hours later as if some other fucking stupid

00:11:27 Speaker_04
felt-vested Brooks Brothers shirted motherfucker couldn't have just stepped in place. He's literally just- Someone did step in his place. So what's that guy feeling right now? He's wearing a bulletproof vest.

00:11:37 Speaker_04
That's for fucking certain because these guys are- because UnitedHealthcare is responsible. They said apparently they have the highest rate of not giving insurance money. It's like 30% of claims they've denied. Oh, they're united on not giving money.

00:11:50 Speaker_04
And that's the only thing they're supposed to do. And we do right before. And I talked to you about the manifesto. I said his mom was run through the mill by health care. He was run through the mill by health care. And then you said he's rich. He's rich.

00:12:01 Speaker_04
But guess what? It doesn't matter. No, because they will come for every single penny that you have because you are vulnerable.

00:12:10 Speaker_04
You are sick and they got the fucking medicine pipes and they have the control over it and they hold it over you and they got your head in a fucking bucket and they don't. They don't care whether you live or die.

00:12:22 Speaker_05
I have pumped thousands of dollars into GoFundMe campaigns because insurance companies will not cover people's cancer treatments. They won't do it. It's fucking insane. Or they don't have insurance because they can't afford it in the first place.

00:12:35 Speaker_05
It's so crazy because why would they not pay out if it's already so fucking expensive?

00:12:41 Speaker_04
I pay top dollar for health insurance. And I still get fucked! Me too! All the time I get fucked!

00:12:47 Speaker_05
All the time I get fucked!

00:12:49 Speaker_04
Yeah, so you wonder why. Everyone's so confused. Why would this happen? All the media pretending, the media that has been fucking lying to us. And I'll put it this way too. We were coming in, like I was talking about with this Marcus this afternoon.

00:13:07 Speaker_04
I think it's really interesting is that everyone was obsessed with this story for five days. He got caught, it's gone. It's like they've stopped talking about it. Same thing with the fucking, what's going on in Syria, with the drones.

00:13:19 Speaker_04
No one's talking about the fucking drones, which we're gonna talk about soon. We shouldn't be the news. Side stories shouldn't be where we're talking about this shit.

00:13:28 Speaker_05
It shouldn't be here. I mean, he did kill someone in the street. That is kind of our territory. Exactly, and that's why I'm thankful. And for that, I'm thankful.

00:13:37 Speaker_05
All I know is someone was shot in Williamsburg three nights later and they never found him or gave a fuck. Where's that person's manhunt?

00:13:43 Speaker_04
They threw. so much money at this manhunt across the nation. We watched it. We watched it in front of our eyes in New York City as we were sitting there. They had a phalanx everywhere.

00:13:56 Speaker_04
There was like stop points, there were all this and you're just like, didn't they just kill three people for like for skipping fare in the subway? Yeah. So You know, there's a world for them and there's a world for us.

00:14:10 Speaker_04
And weirdly, we're in your world too, guys. I thought we could be good enough at entertainment to go to the better world. All right? And we can't get there. All right? So it's fucked for everybody. If it's fucked for us, it's fucked for everybody.

00:14:26 Speaker_04
All right so these guys and you know and then I wonder why did he get caught? He wanted to get caught. He definitely wanted to get caught. But I have a little theory about whether or not.

00:14:34 Speaker_05
But he was hiding. It was where he was interested. It was like he didn't know if he wanted to get caught or not. But now I'm putting thoughts in his head. Sure.

00:14:40 Speaker_04
Well my I will put this this way. I'm in it. I keep saying that he has fuck boy vibes. Yeah. He's a young guy. Yeah. Good looking guy. Valedictorian. A lot of people were. But he's a good looking guy.

00:14:55 Speaker_05
One from every school, not many.

00:14:56 Speaker_04
He's obviously deeply plugged into social media. He's a young person. I think that he saw his own attention that he was receiving and I think he really liked it. And I think that it was, obviously he wanted the attention.

00:15:09 Speaker_04
He wanted to do something like and have people read his manifesto and move on. But it's,

00:15:15 Speaker_04
I do think that that's where the faulty reasoning came in, is that he probably should have been long, long, long, long gone, but instead they found him in Altoona, Pennsylvania, like not that far. It's not even that far. Nope.

00:15:28 Speaker_04
And then I think a lot of people are giving shit to the person that ratted him out, the person that saw his picture, because number one, I love everybody and I loved all the funny little memes about him, but the memes helped him get caught.

00:15:40 Speaker_04
They absolutely helped him get caught. Oh, for sure. Because they blasted his picture everywhere, right? So it served a function. And then two people are now attacking, I believe it was a McDonald's employee that called him in.

00:15:51 Speaker_04
But even though that money, they were given, I think it was a $10,000 reward. It was up to $60,000. But I don't think they got the $60,000.

00:15:59 Speaker_05
They're not getting any of it because they didn't call Crime Stoppers. They called the wrong line. So they're not getting any of the money. They get none of it? They get none of it. Because I was just talking to Sina about it upstairs.

00:16:09 Speaker_04
What they do is they lowball us. They lowball us, right? Because that person that called in desperately needed that money.

00:16:18 Speaker_05
Yeah.

00:16:18 Speaker_04
That is the only reason why they would get involved. Who would call the police voluntarily and bring them to their job? Nobody. Nobody would really do unless it was like somebody that I'm not saying real criminal. He is a real criminal. He's a killer.

00:16:32 Speaker_05
How do you feel about the person who turned him in? I mean personally. I don't feel bad for them. I know that they. They need money. They needed the money. They work at fucking McDonald's. They needed the money. They needed the money.

00:16:42 Speaker_04
The people who turned their fucking brother in for 60 grand. Yeah, so they got, and what's hard is to say to somebody like that, even that kind of money is not going to fix everything.

00:16:51 Speaker_05
No, 60 grand really isn't that much. I couldn't believe the number was that low. I thought for sure that was like a $100,000 reward at the bare minimum. They don't give a fuck.

00:17:02 Speaker_04
That's how little they think of us. Yeah. That's how little they think of us.

00:17:06 Speaker_05
This is like the guy who's top. You figure if the guy at the top gets killed, there'd be a big reward.

00:17:12 Speaker_04
No. Nothing. I mean, his own people didn't care. His wife had to put out a statement when I, Brian Thompson's wife, they put out a statement saying he's a loving father. A lot of people come forward saying he's a nice guy.

00:17:21 Speaker_04
I know a lot of people are a nice guy. They're separated, right? Apparently Goebbels was hilarious. Yeah. So was Bill Cosby. It's hard. And I don't think he's in that level.

00:17:30 Speaker_04
I'm just saying that, yes, it's just he took the money and the goal for him to make his money.

00:17:36 Speaker_05
You don't think Goebbels is as funny as Bill Cosby? Is that what you're trying to say to me right now? Definitely not.

00:17:41 Speaker_04
Bill Cosby is by far. Okay. Let's just say this outright. I'm saying this on the show. Bill Cosby is definitely funnier than Goebbels. It's not a question. Did Goebbels have even one special? No. No, he didn't. I guess David Tell hasn't either, so.

00:17:56 Speaker_04
Well, he's had plenty of specials. I thought he's had no specials.

00:17:58 Speaker_05
He's had plenty. I thought he only had a half an hour. He never had a full hour. Oh, he's done lots. He's done crowd work specials. He had a couple on Comedy Central, I think. Well, then I take it back. David Tell's nothing like Garbles.

00:18:07 Speaker_05
Also, I produced Bumping Mics. But that's like him and Jeff. Yeah. But, you know, it's a comedy special. I'm just saying.

00:18:15 Speaker_04
That the person next to you produced. I'm sorry I brought it up. I'm sorry I brought it up. It's nothing like Goebbels. I scratch it from the record. Goebbels is nowhere near as funny as David Tell. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Yes.

00:18:31 Speaker_05
I besmirch the good name of David Tell.

00:18:38 Speaker_04
That's why it's like I think a lot of people obviously we have advertisers and there's gonna be a lot of people say like and I don't think that murder is the solution never the solution but

00:18:48 Speaker_05
At some point. I've never seen anyone get murdered and the world be so happy it happened. Because again. Since like Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein.

00:18:58 Speaker_04
And you know why? And the reason why is because of the way they look at us. That's why. It's because just for one time that CEO got treated like some other nameless person in the street.

00:19:13 Speaker_04
that like they're used to they live in a separate world yeah they get the best health care in the world and they're fucking million they get everything they get everything dude got over 10 million dollars before bonuses and in one year and how he how did he get that money

00:19:27 Speaker_04
by cutting as much as he possibly could. And when he cuts, it's not like, this isn't Frito-Lay, you know what I mean? This isn't like, oh, you know, which I do get mad about the fact that they're definitely putting less chips in the bags. Oh, yeah.

00:19:42 Speaker_04
We know this. We know this. It's shrinkflation. Don't even get me started. Oh, you want to hear me really go, right? But it's not that, all right? Every time they cut, people die. That's why it's very charged. This guy's going to get the book thrown at him.

00:20:03 Speaker_04
We're going to find out a lot more about him.

00:20:04 Speaker_05
What do you think his jail life's going to be like? Do you think he's going to be a hero? I think that eventually he'll just... They don't care, right? Nah, I don't know. He's going to be in a federal prison.

00:20:12 Speaker_04
Yeah, I think that he'll... It depends. He's a young guy. Overtaxed state. It was a murder in New York. Yeah, he'll go to federal prison. He should be in Rikers. I don't know.

00:20:22 Speaker_04
I actually don't know they might have they might have to protect him for a while who knows but again I think that he's he's also throwaway like fuck Luigi fuck like that's not even about it It's about the it's about the moment in time and everyone's so everyone's wondering why this like

00:20:39 Speaker_04
why everybody's so angry and why they feel so justified and it's just because this one single issue it unites every single one of us.

00:20:48 Speaker_05
Every person in America knows somebody who got very sick and couldn't afford their health care whether they helped them or they didn't they know somebody or they had someone in their family or it was a parent or a child.

00:21:01 Speaker_04
And guess when they fuck you when you're your most vulnerable. They know it and they smell it in the water like sharks. They know that you're fucked. That you have to pay.

00:21:14 Speaker_05
You have to pay. Honestly, I can't say on record enough that I don't condone this behavior, but I'm certainly very surprised it hasn't happened before.

00:21:25 Speaker_04
Well, we'll see what happens. You know, I mean, we had one child, this is the second child assassin. Well, the first one wasn't an assassin because Trump never got shot. I'm just saying that straight now.

00:21:36 Speaker_04
I'm not even going to fuck around with that anymore. Trump was never shot. It doesn't seem like it. No. So that was, we made a big deal over that guy. And now we're also going to see the media very much try to shatter any sort of belief

00:21:49 Speaker_04
in the in Luigi Mangione because unfortunately the internet requires you to have some form of moral purity even if you're an assassin so they're going to come after his like you know he'll probably have said the r-word on a video somewhere and then everyone's not going to hear anymore.

00:22:05 Speaker_05
Is he going to get cancelled now? Is he going to get cancelled?

00:22:07 Speaker_04
That's literally all they're going to do but they're already like setting it all up because they're so used to- I love you with the murder someone and then like well we're gonna might have to cancel this guy.

00:22:17 Speaker_04
That's how the internet works because they are not really grasping how fucking serious everything is they're just not they will yet They cannot understand that we're joking ourselves to death and this is from a comedian. Yeah, so it's hard.

00:22:31 Speaker_04
We have to figure out What's serious? What's not serious? What's what's funny about it? I think the funniest thing about Luigi Mangione is the fact that he could get his fucking eyebrows sculpted and

00:22:42 Speaker_04
and probably should have the second because I was the only anybody recognized for him was his Groucho Marx fucking eyebrows.

00:22:49 Speaker_05
He definitely should have went to got some threading done. He was already in New York. There's eyebrow threading places everywhere.

00:22:55 Speaker_04
Yeah I don't think he tried enough to disappear.

00:22:56 Speaker_05
Well I think also the the eyebrows you know some people some people really dig it.

00:23:02 Speaker_04
They do. They do. I'm not going to say, again, that is the one thing I cannot say against him. He is attractive.

00:23:08 Speaker_05
Now, one rumor I've been hearing a lot, a conspiracy theory I've been hearing a lot, is that it's not him. Nah, it's him. Because they released different pictures of guys in different jackets.

00:23:17 Speaker_05
I'm pretty sure they just had the wrong guy in one of those pictures.

00:23:20 Speaker_04
It's possible. Mike, you want another big old conspiracy theory from Henry Zebrowski?

00:23:27 Speaker_04
That they don't really want to talk about the Way that they caught him because if we really understood how far they could see us from space We would not feel good Yeah, I think that if they if we knew that if there was I mean he what he was good for days I think that they just didn't

00:23:49 Speaker_04
I don't think, like how do you put this? I think there's a kind of a period of time where like maybe he's going to turn himself in. You're talking to all these forensics experts. It seems to be a political hit. He might turn himself in.

00:24:00 Speaker_04
If we tell him we have all this information on him, he might show up. I think that it makes everybody look like they're feeling a part of the investigation, which I think helps the media and the police.

00:24:11 Speaker_04
I think that they maybe corroborated his location with a in-person sighting, but I do think that they don't want to broadcast the fact that they kind of maybe knew where he was really quickly because maybe they can see us from space.

00:24:27 Speaker_04
And that the surveillance technology is so good that they literally have to pretend that it's not very good. So they let him get away with it for three days? No. They just... They followed him? Well, they had to make sure it was him.

00:24:41 Speaker_04
But I think that they had a... They had a much more detailed idea.

00:24:45 Speaker_05
You don't think they were just picking up random dudes in the street that looked just like them and fucking taking their pants off and slapping their asses and putting their fingers in their butts?

00:24:53 Speaker_04
What levels are we? So there's the beat cop, the guys you're going to go send out to do all that shit, right?

00:24:58 Speaker_05
I saw some cops when I was walking around New York. I was like, you guys find them yet? They're like literally threw their hands up in the air like they could give

00:25:05 Speaker_04
Of course not, what the fuck, they literally are, if you're a beat cop in Newark, you got a lot going on. And just another dead guy, alright?

00:25:12 Speaker_04
Where it's like, then you got the higher level, you got the homicide section, which is kind of doing a little broad, and then you have the FBI.

00:25:19 Speaker_04
And once the FBI gets involved, and then they got some kind of private contracting thing, or like somebody else they talk to, they call up somebody from the military, you never, you don't know. You don't know what they have access to.

00:25:31 Speaker_05
do you think he did like everything he could to not get caught or do you think he wanted to get caught i think my my i mean altuna there's definitely a place you go where you don't want to be found yeah absolutely my full out of the ass opinion we're putting yeah we're just throwing our thoughts into his brain so it doesn't matter my is i think that he saw the thirst

00:25:52 Speaker_04
and he saw the attention and he lingered. I think that he saw how much everybody wanted to fuck him. Yeah. And there's just so hard. It's as a 26 year old.

00:26:03 Speaker_05
But he's got a bad back. He can't be fucking with that back. You're right. I take it back.

00:26:10 Speaker_04
The human layer I'll put in is that I think that he legitimately saw how popular he was and he wanted the credit. It's not far. No. He really didn't get that far. It's only like four hours away. That's why I also just kind of wonder if

00:26:30 Speaker_04
yeah if they if there's something something happened in there and then he so he had his ghost gun with him he had 3d printed a gun i mean that's a good thing that's gonna happen about this they're gonna fucking definitely crack down on ghost guns now i mean we'll see how difficult it is to get they're gonna they're never gonna pretty much legal they're literally never gonna crack down on the gun anywhere ever they will never crack down on anything it wasn't until 2022 that they started like making the the kits where you had to like

00:26:55 Speaker_05
Fucking fill out a, what is it called? When you buy a gun. Oh, when you register? When you get your gun license? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Before you could just buy one, but now you have to actually apply for one.

00:27:10 Speaker_04
But still you can get all of the 3d printed gun parts online are extremely easy to get we've seen this now been several crimes High-profile crimes that have used ghost guns.

00:27:19 Speaker_04
We know that you can also put them together using other pieces using pieces from non 3d printed guns But he kept the gun which my mind says he was planning to do something else Should have just melted it.

00:27:33 Speaker_04
I don't know why he kept the gun, but I think okay I do think that there's a An issue here where he's a young man that saw the attention and he was excited about it and he didn't know what to do. He's not a professional assassin.

00:27:44 Speaker_04
He's just a young man that wanted to- He seemed like it. Well, he thought about it for a long time. Yeah. He thought about it for a long time and he probably tried- He seemed calm as fuck. He practiced probably with a gun a couple times. Yeah.

00:27:56 Speaker_04
But- Definitely a sociopath. I think that you'd put him in the sidestoriesLPOTL at gmail.com. Are you a sociopath? If you can feel those emotions. I don't know if you can't. I think that sociopaths wouldn't feel the excitement.

00:28:15 Speaker_04
I think I hate Brian Thompson as much as Luigi. I will say I don't know Brian Thompson. So I will not say I hate that man, right? I think that that man thought that, as everyone does, everyone's a hero of their own story.

00:28:31 Speaker_04
So in his own mind, he's got his wife and his kids and they go to fucking some private school and everybody's got all this, and he's taking care of all of his bullshit and he's a good guy and he gives, maybe he'll give to Planned Parenthood every year and maybe he goes and he'll buy like a wreath from a poor person every once in a while and he says,

00:28:50 Speaker_04
You see, honey, I did good. You see what I did? Like, I'm certain that he's not, you know, running over dogs and beating the hell up and stuff. I'm certain that if you met his maid, she'd be like, he don't kill me.

00:29:03 Speaker_04
You know, like, but I think that if you, Brian Thompson, Just, you know, he was a part of an industry. He might as well have been in the weapons industry. Yes, exactly. And then I think that you just don't know what you're asking for with that.

00:29:21 Speaker_04
Because when you're a CEO, it all falls on you. Yeah, you're the face. You're the face. And it was a big face. Big head. Huge head. Yeah. And it's really like a fucking 40 pound head. But yeah, I'm not going to malign the man.

00:29:34 Speaker_04
I'm not going to malign the man because I don't know the man, but I do know that it does take a type- I don't know him, but I fucking hate his ass because of his face and his job.

00:29:43 Speaker_05
I think anyone who's the CEO of a company like that can go fucking hell. Well, you're definitely making money on the pain of millions of human beings. I don't think he deserved to die, but maybe take his pants down and spank him.

00:30:00 Speaker_04
I have been saying this for so long, I still feel like if we could bring out all the CEOs and politicians, if we could make them dress up like jesters and make them do it like once a month where they all have to embarrass themselves and wallow around in a bunch of paid shit.

00:30:15 Speaker_05
Pull out their tiny little dickies and just get slapped around a little bit.

00:30:19 Speaker_04
People United States of America will stop murdering you guys if you just let us do that once a month. And we can all show up and everyone can pay a dollar.

00:30:28 Speaker_04
I can pay a dollar and I can go throw a water balloon filled with good pood into the face of a senator. God, how I would get so much out of that.

00:30:40 Speaker_04
but you know this is now we'll see I feel like again I don't know I don't think anybody also really understands how bad the revolution will be for everybody in between I think there's a lot of people online they're always like are my

00:30:55 Speaker_04
leftist revolution. And it's like, but I don't think you understand that like after the first wave of the revolution, like that's when the mass executions happen. That's when all the kind of bad stuff happens.

00:31:04 Speaker_04
So I don't know if people are going to want a full on big one, but it's just important for us all to remember the fight is not between us. It's between us and them. And they're going to do everything they can to make us fight each other.

00:31:19 Speaker_04
They're going to call us racist. They're going to call us stupid. They're going to call, they're going to do everything that they can to make sure that we're all fighting each other and not all fighting them. Exactly. Yep.

00:31:30 Speaker_04
And maybe a good example of that is what the fuck is going on with these drones. Oh, good segue. All right, so let's go look at this real quick. What do you mean real quick?

00:31:39 Speaker_05
This is the biggest alien news since I've been alive and you're just going to blow right past it?

00:31:44 Speaker_04
Well, you know, it's funny because now I'm almost I'm almost at the it's past aliens point. Okay so you don't think it's aliens.

00:31:53 Speaker_05
I don't know what the fuck it is. Drones the size of Buicks. I don't know what that's not something although it does sound like something a jersey dude would make in his in his closet.

00:32:03 Speaker_04
Oh yeah look at that right there it's called the Santa Maria. But I have a couple of interesting takes here I asked the audience last week when we were doing our episodes those of you that care What the fuck is going on with these drones?

00:32:25 Speaker_04
Because New Jersey, now if you're looking at footage right now, we're looking from NBC4, the drone footage from New Jersey, I cannot state enough how many emails I have received with personal footage of the drones.

00:32:40 Speaker_04
I'm talking 25 at least videos from New Jersey.

00:32:43 Speaker_05
Just from their own phones?

00:32:45 Speaker_04
Yes. Staten Island, I've got emails from. I've got emails from Ohio. I had emails from North Carolina, South Carolina, all showing the same, literal same exact different styles of drones.

00:32:57 Speaker_04
Because the thing that is most curious about what's going on, for those of you who don't know, there has been these wave of drone sightings seen over New Jersey, over the US airfield in UK, Lankenheath, and all over the eastern seaboard.

00:33:10 Speaker_04
And apparently some off the west coast as well, but I didn't see photos of those. The thing about these drones is that, yes, some of them do just look like drones. Droney. Drone-esque. The problem is that they're all different types.

00:33:24 Speaker_04
We've got orbs, circles, boomerangs. We've got things that look like mini planes, but the lights are wrong, and the size is wrong, so they're super small mini planes. But I thought they have the right lights as far as like left and right.

00:33:40 Speaker_04
Well they do but then they'll have a bunch of weird middle lights and then a bunch of different colored lights that they don't normally use. Things with blue lights. A lot of things similarly just red lights.

00:33:50 Speaker_04
It's very very strange and while all of this is going on in New York We're running around. The city is insane. The city's on fire, right? Well, it's Christmas season. It's also Christmas, so it's packed. And it's just a very intense week, honestly.

00:34:08 Speaker_04
It was cool, but it was a very, very heavy week. And everybody is just sort of not caring, right? So they have a bunch of people. The government keeps saying, don't worry about these drones. They're not doing anything. They're not doing anything.

00:34:21 Speaker_04
They're just up there. But I mean I agree with that almost. Sure. Yes. But the footage I'm looking at and I'm talking each one the helicopters are following them. F-16s are being scrambled out of them.

00:34:34 Speaker_05
That's what Knapp always says, there's black helicopters whenever you see, then he says the black helicopters might be UFOs.

00:34:42 Speaker_04
So this is how far it's going. This is another, like, this senator, a guy, a New Jersey senator,

00:34:51 Speaker_04
uh... john bramnick again a republican republicans are the only time republicans jump in anything that i care about which is the the he's been saying that the public receipt must receive an explanation regarding these multiple sightings the governor phil murphy went as far as to say that the drone sightings are under investigation they all keep saying they don't know what it is and if you look at the the the footage

00:35:13 Speaker_04
they are physical yes and i got some great opinions from the crowd i want to get some great opinions from the show so i want to go through some of these great little letters i got uh in response to why now also thank you everyone who wrote it and so many people wrote in keep them coming please send in the footage as you as you get it you know we fucking are horny for it yeah

00:35:34 Speaker_04
The drone story is way more than the news is sharing. Last year, a large amount of drones were over Langley Air Force Base in Virginia. A mass of drones literally flew into the base, flew around, and then straight up vanished.

00:35:45 Speaker_04
The base tried to keep it hushed up and went as far as telling families and military housing to not discuss the issue. What was also hidden was the fact that the government acronym groups were brought into the base for an extended period of time.

00:35:58 Speaker_04
Since then Langley has kept their lips sealed as far as any discussion with those below a certain rank. Lankenheath has been insane with discussion too. The base has a confessionals page on Facebook where everyone posts anonymously.

00:36:09 Speaker_04
One post was up about the drones in July and since then they've attempted to also quell the topic. OSI watches that page, so they are privy to the immense nonsense and OPSEC violations shared.

00:36:19 Speaker_04
They have weighed in on occasion, and people posting in the group have been questioned by OSI agents on several topics. I don't really recommend the group as a disqualifying source beyond gossip, because it is one of those things.

00:36:29 Speaker_04
There's a lot of stuff going on there. As there is a bizarre amount of panty-sniffing confessions. Here we go, this is another one. What is OSI? Operation of Special Investigations. It's at the Office of Special Investigations.

00:36:46 Speaker_04
Henry recently asked on Side Stories, Attack of the Drones, why the activity is happening now. My two senses is that this stuff happens more often than we think, but places tinfoil head on head.

00:36:56 Speaker_04
The media wants to distract us from all the terrible stuff happening in the world right now. World War 3, Israel-Palestine, Turks with Syria, and South Korea, Russia and the like. None of it was on the news.

00:37:06 Speaker_04
Do we have South Korea also declare martial law for like 6 hours? And all this stuff with Syria. None of it was on the news. Well Syria was all over the news. But guess what it was covered with?

00:37:19 Speaker_04
all of the dumb shit that whatever fucking fat boy was saying yeah new president was saying and so fat boy was just talking and all they do is run every single fucking syllable that he says because they couldn't possibly give a fucking shit about anyone else yeah well guess what this should sell this is very interesting i think so but i don't think many people care man i guess not by the way i spoke to my friend's father-in-law drunk at his wedding

00:37:44 Speaker_04
He revealed to me he's a retired aerospace engineer who worked on some top secret projects for the United States military. He cannot go into detail about the stuff he did, but he did say it had to do with weapons.

00:37:55 Speaker_04
I asked him what he thinks about all the UAP events going on. I found his answer very compelling.

00:38:00 Speaker_04
He said he believes that whatever the famous Tic Tac videos were, were human made, and they were essentially hyper-secret weapons, aircraft, that were basically unveiled to these pilots in particular to see how they would react in the moment, like a test.

00:38:15 Speaker_04
Not only to see how they would approach the aircraft, and if they kept their cool in the air, but to see what happens when they land.

00:38:22 Speaker_04
Will they follow protocol and keep it a secret, or would they be able to handle seeing something they had no answer for? These would be need-to-know answers not only for our men, but how adversaries would react as well.

00:38:33 Speaker_04
Once these encounters occur, the clock starts ticking. How long can the government keep secret? Again, probably a good thing for them to know. We'll find out. I am now of the mind that some of this stuff is man-made technology. It has to be. It has to be.

00:38:48 Speaker_04
Some of it is too much. It makes sense for that tic-tac video, like I still believe, I will still believe the tic-tac video is a UFO until I see other, like, information, right?

00:39:00 Speaker_05
There's no reason not to believe it's not a UFO. Why would you think it wasn't a UFO?

00:39:05 Speaker_04
I don't know, that's what they, technically that's what they want me to think, right? That it is a UFO. Yeah. So I wonder, right? I wonder, but That hyper-secret technology was displayed out in the middle of the ocean. When the U.S.S.

00:39:20 Speaker_04
Indianapolis saw that, they were dead in the middle of the Pacific on a training run like they were no near civilization. So there's a lot of people that I have heard and I've heard.

00:39:31 Speaker_04
I understand why you think that, that this could be secret technology that we're testing, but why the fuck would we be testing it in such a public aspect? We've never done this before.

00:39:43 Speaker_04
We've never done it like this, across the Eastern seaboard, and then act like it's nothing. It's like, no, with Roswell, they gave us an excuse, right? With other things, they tell you what it is.

00:39:52 Speaker_04
They just said, when we showed the pictures of what we shot over Alaska and Canada,

00:39:57 Speaker_05
The other week?

00:39:59 Speaker_04
And they acted like they didn't, like at first they didn't know what it was but they still don't know what it is? They just don't know what it was and they shot it down anyway? And it looked like something they couldn't recognize? But they shot it down.

00:40:11 Speaker_04
So why aren't they shooting this stuff down? Well it's overpopulated areas. But why then? So I just don't understand. But again if it's double sure to shoot it down, then definitely shoot it down.

00:40:20 Speaker_05
Well because then it'll fall on the people. You can't shoot it down. What if it's going to be dropping bombs on the people? Well then the bombs are still in the plane. But you've got to shoot the planes. You've still got to shoot the planes.

00:40:31 Speaker_04
Then it crashes and the bomb blows up. I don't know. I'm just saying. I just don't really fully understand why they would test it out loud in front of that many human beings. It just doesn't seem to work like that. It could be private. We don't know.

00:40:47 Speaker_04
This last little opinion I think is fascinating. I'm an electrical engineer who was in college when drones were really taking off as a thing 10 years ago, so I've had a fascination with them ever since.

00:40:59 Speaker_04
My theory is that this is companies testing new ways to mass deploy offensive AI-powered drones, suicide drones. My rationale. The Russo-Ukrainian war has leaptfrogged offensive drone technology and anti-drone defenses.

00:41:15 Speaker_04
Ukraine has begun using swarm of suicide drones to swarm targets. These drones cost $400 to $10,000 a piece if you bought them off Amazon, and they are destroying tanks that cost a million plus dollars, so it's an amazing trade-off. Yeah.

00:41:28 Speaker_04
But most commercial drones have a maximum range of five miles before any additional equipment is added. This makes it so these drone swarms are useless against Russian artillery, which is usually fired 15 miles from its target.

00:41:39 Speaker_04
Artillery is the main thing Ukraine has had difficulty fighting against since you need to either hit it with your own artillery or with airstrikes.

00:41:46 Speaker_04
Ukraine is needed to ration its artillery shells, firing 2,000 a day compared to Russia firing 10,000 a day, and airstrikes can easily be countered if you know where they will target.

00:41:55 Speaker_04
So we either need to get the drones to start closer to the artillery or have longer flight range. The two easiest way to do this would be to fly the drones closer to the target.

00:42:05 Speaker_04
Drones usually need to take off like a helicopter or to be thrown like a toy plane. So they could be test dropping them from planes.

00:42:13 Speaker_04
that get them to take off because you don't want to either have drone collisions that destroy half the swarm on launch.

00:42:18 Speaker_04
But again, this is happening in front of our cities, so I don't know if it works like that, but I like this concept of that's where maybe the private money is. It's like, can you show the US military we can sneak up on you?

00:42:35 Speaker_04
Can you show the police and the FBI that the drones can just Out of nowhere.

00:42:43 Speaker_05
I mean, well, there's a very good chance, I feel like, that the drones are ours. That they are the military, showing everyone else what we got.

00:42:52 Speaker_04
But then, so Alex our coffee guy. Let's just say he's paranoid, right? Love my beloved Spring Hill Jack coffee. There's a fucking reason why those beans are so fucking delicious. Reptilian in the morning. He is awake. My man is, his eyelids are peeled.

00:43:09 Speaker_04
You don't see like he sees. Yeah. We have been talking for days. I think there's staple gun to the back of his head. Whatever makes those beans good, I told him. You do whatever it takes. So, you know, last week I was talking about, oh, it's aliens.

00:43:22 Speaker_04
People don't want to notice. I just think this is, I think that there's something, something's going on. Yeah. And we don't quite know what it is.

00:43:30 Speaker_04
I'm going to go ahead, which is what I always say, because I am a clinical full on, I, uh, I am utterly agnostic. So I believe it's all things. I believe that there's very possibly to have, there's alien technology that looks like us.

00:43:46 Speaker_04
There's us that we've made stuff to look like alien technology and technology that we have figured out our own stuff that we want people to think is UFOs, blah, blah, blah. Right. All this shit. Yeah.

00:43:56 Speaker_04
But this is a, so we were coming back from Philly, and he sent me this little story from Reddit from 13 years ago. And it's fascinating. Okay, let's hear it. For me. For the rest of you, you suck my fucking balls.

00:44:14 Speaker_04
It was April 2nd, 2007, around 9.30 p.m. I was coming out of Orlando, Florida on the 408 West at about exit 12. I saw a red light reflecting off the buildings and thought it was funny because of how high up it was.

00:44:27 Speaker_04
I thought maybe it was some emergency lights. I saw between the two buildings this red, pulsating light that was enveloped in what looked to be a plasma-like shield. My best way of describing it would be a red blood cell, complete with plasma membrane.

00:44:43 Speaker_04
I had a funny thought pop in my head. So that's what you are. When I turned to its left and came up very quickly upon me in my minivan which I was driving alone.

00:44:53 Speaker_04
It proceeded to come about 20-30 feet in front of me and slightly above the van windshield. It pulsated to deep red, and when the inner sphere would light up, the plasma, outer clearish sphere, would catch the light.

00:45:06 Speaker_04
The inner sphere reminded me of a front loader washing machine. It was not a solid glowing red sphere, but instead it appeared to be a red light liquid was washing around. There was an inner yellow light liquid with some white in the very center.

00:45:21 Speaker_04
It was very bright inside. And this white light peeking through caused the red color to really light up, making it appear as if you were further away, that it was simply pulsating a red light.

00:45:32 Speaker_04
And as I'm watching this, I'm realizing the plasma around it is dematerializing. The center red pulsating ball of light started to spin from right to left and stretch. And it grew wings. Plane wings. It looked a lot like a drone plane.

00:45:51 Speaker_04
Complete with a silvery finish and what looked like a cockpit. However, there was no tail end to speak of. The outer sphere was now completely gone. And it was facing me as I was driving at a constant speed of 75 miles per hour. I had cruise control on.

00:46:05 Speaker_04
Each wingtip there was a light, one yellow and the other white, blinking on and off, back and forth. At the underbelly was the same red ball of liquid light, still blinking, but it seemed wobbly.

00:46:17 Speaker_04
The best way to describe it would be if you held a baton in the middle and made figure eights with your wrist, it would be that motion. Which we were looking, I'm literally looking at some of these drone footage.

00:46:29 Speaker_04
I remember looking back at one point to see if other cars were around me because I noticed the cars all in front of me had pretty much well taken off. In my rearview mirror, I saw cars were also far behind me. I was alone.

00:46:40 Speaker_04
Not moments later, after looking, a police cruiser with lights flashing but no siren came from my left and almost sideswiped my van, come between myself and the craft, this drone plane lookalike.

00:46:50 Speaker_04
The craft was directly above the hood of the police cruiser. The craft responded to this by veering off to the right.

00:46:56 Speaker_04
I watched as it grew, for a better lack of term, a spotlight, and that I believe was behind the red light, and as it had flown up to this brick building, it shined a light on a window on it.

00:47:07 Speaker_04
I tried to watch as it flew away, and I kind of wanted to come back, but I lost sight of it. I'm just saying, when I saw that, now that's 13 years ago. I'm looking at this mystery drone in Somerset, New Jersey that has the same fucking thing.

00:47:20 Speaker_04
that that guy just described. Yes. That is fascinating to me because what if we're really fucked and we don't know jack dick about what's going on?

00:47:34 Speaker_05
I think it just makes it seem like to me that it is the government. Sure. It is us because why else would they be keeping it secret?

00:47:46 Speaker_05
Because I don't think that if everyone knew it was aliens, I don't think it would be the big, you know, big to do like everyone thinks it is. See... Because they've told us there's aliens multiple times since COVID started and no one gives a fuck.

00:48:00 Speaker_05
I'm back and forth.

00:48:01 Speaker_04
Only just because... I... It's so hard to pin it down. I'm looking at this phenomena. They want it to be... It's happening in plain sight. Mm-hmm. Spent so long ridiculing anybody that believes in this storyline. Yeah. Now they're leaning in.

00:48:27 Speaker_04
I trust them less now that they say that there's aliens. You know what I mean? Like, I don't... I don't need... They're hiding their own shit. True, but I don't need the government to fucking tell me it's okay for me to believe. Right?

00:48:41 Speaker_04
I don't need that shit. I tell myself that it's okay for me to be fucking high and believe. Right? But the thing that's weird is why are all the drones different?

00:48:52 Speaker_04
In Denver, when that drone thing happened a couple years ago, all the drones were exactly the same. Why are all these drones different things? Why do they look like different shit? Why are they different sizes? Why are they doing different stuff?

00:49:06 Speaker_04
I don't know what purpose it serves to dangle this in front of us. I don't know. I guess that's my question. Who benefits? There's no one that benefits. There has to be.

00:49:20 Speaker_04
If it's done on purpose, if it's an action by a government, they believe... Then it's to show other governments not to fuck with us. But why? We don't need to show them don't fuck with us. We could fucking blow up the world. That's true.

00:49:34 Speaker_05
We are the most powerful. Yes.

00:49:36 Speaker_04
America doesn't... Guess what, Eddie? They shouldn't be fucking with us.

00:49:41 Speaker_05
Yeah.

00:49:41 Speaker_04
We could very much fuck all of them up.

00:49:45 Speaker_05
Yeah. Not to mention our positioning.

00:49:47 Speaker_04
Dude, we're so far from them. They have no idea. That's why we shut the balloon down. That's why we shut the other thing down over Alaska is to show them that we can.

00:49:56 Speaker_05
Yeah. So, why? We're not shooting these down. Why? And we have to know that they exist. Yes, they do. We're seeing it all over the place.

00:50:04 Speaker_04
Where's, what's Buttigieg say about this shit? He said something about this new line of like, he's doing, it's called cum potpourri.

00:50:11 Speaker_05
Oh, very numb.

00:50:12 Speaker_04
Yeah, they're gonna spread it into construction sites.

00:50:14 Speaker_05
I mean, but he's the Secretary of Transportation. This should be his department, right? This should be his people. I'm gonna write him an email right now.

00:50:22 Speaker_04
Alright, Pete Buttigieg, I'm gonna put it right here. Pete Buttigieg, how do you even spell his, this is why he can't be president. How do you spell his name? Buttigieg, Buttigieg. He can't, this is not gonna work. Manifesto, Pete Buttigieg Manifesto.

00:50:36 Speaker_04
What's that? It's B-U-T-T-I-G-I-E-G. You really put the ass in Buttigieg. Buttigieg UFOs. Nothing, right? He doesn't give a fuck. You don't think he doesn't fucking look like one? He looks like a goddamn alien. He's got that big head.

00:50:59 Speaker_03
No. He's been silent.

00:51:01 Speaker_04
Silence. Silence is deafening! Yes? Deafening! There's a lot of people that want to put spiritual importance too on this story, but this idea that this is just the beginning, that we're going to be seeing a lot more UFO sightings.

00:51:16 Speaker_04
I saw one conspiracy theory saying that... What, God's an alien? Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah, we're aliens and they're come and take us back. It's like a nuclear crisis the idea that maybe The drones are going to look one conspiracy. I like this one.

00:51:30 Speaker_05
It was that this again No, really, this is this is a conspiracy theory that we're just talking.

00:51:34 Speaker_04
That's Mike. That's my job

00:51:36 Speaker_04
And so the idea that they are moving nukes around to our allies so ostensibly if we back out of NATO over the next four years and then they can then they'd have we'd have to figure out how to get our nukes back if he wanted to use them blah blah blah yeah or like and or there's something going on the aliens are coming because we're moving the nukes and they have an eye on our nukes and they're already scared of nukes

00:52:00 Speaker_04
Or it's just if we just start shooting nukes in the space. They'd be fucked.

00:52:04 Speaker_04
I think that it's just more neutral I think it's way more like they are Whatever it is that makes this sort of reaction its reacts to the nukes And it's not even that they think about the nukes or think about us It's just there's something about even the nuclear material or what we do that attracts

00:52:22 Speaker_04
Either this what some form of foreign plasma, right? Like that is just imitating us because there's that story too Like what if it's barely even a thought like the what if it forms and it looks like something that we recognize?

00:52:35 Speaker_04
Because it's just this sort of mimicking Material that's around the planet Earth that comes from the ocean. Yeah, and that it's just been here, right? for a long time. And who knows? That's one thing.

00:52:46 Speaker_04
And there's also this thing that they're going to come and they're going to help facilitate a world change, and then there's going to be a new era of peace. And I think that that's when it starts getting religious. You think so?

00:52:56 Speaker_04
That's what I mean in terms of- I say that sounds nice! I think that anything that's biological that's going to get here is not good news for us.

00:53:05 Speaker_05
And so I don't think, I think the new era is not going to include us.

00:53:10 Speaker_05
I mean, well, you know, if you go all the way back to, you know, Christ, if you believe in that, you know, as soon as someone starts saying we should all be nice to each other and be peaceful, we'll just kill them.

00:53:20 Speaker_04
Well, maybe what they understood is that very, very deep down, we are all connected

00:53:27 Speaker_04
some weird neural network that doesn't need to have God to exist, it doesn't need to have anything, that it's literally we are made of the same stuff, we are connected on a much deeper level, and maybe one day science will show that, and that it does hurt us when we hurt ourselves, and that it hurts us as a group, and that we maybe could move together as one and not think about it as the NWO, that we could understand that we're all just people.

00:53:55 Speaker_04
Or is that just fucking dumb shit?

00:53:57 Speaker_05
Yeah.

00:53:58 Speaker_04
Well, also alien invasion, people say, is the only thing that could bring the world together. That's what Project Bluebeam says, that they're going to create an NWO by doing a fake alien invasion. That's the other thing people are talking about.

00:54:08 Speaker_04
Is it all fake? Because I did get some footage that was just straight up drones. If it was fake, then the government would be talking about it more. I don't know. This is the, this is why it's confusing Eddie.

00:54:20 Speaker_04
That's why it's, it's because their reaction. They're not saying like, oh, we know exactly what it is. It's just silence. Yeah, it is just total fucking silence. And then we're all just supposed to sit here and act like it's not happening.

00:54:32 Speaker_05
But then also, I mean, we say it's total silence, but then you got the New Jersey senator saying, is wanting to know what it is.

00:54:39 Speaker_04
Yeah, in between slurping down pork rolls and fucking his mistress, he doesn't fucking really care. I mean, like, these guys, senators, don't fucking give a shit. They're all just- At least he's asking, man.

00:54:48 Speaker_04
Yeah, he just got an email that was like, you know what I mean? Like, these senators are garbage. All these fucking pieces of shit. So how are you going to believe anything then? I don't. I believe these papers.

00:55:01 Speaker_04
I believe in the American people to fuck shit up. Because they have been. They really have been. But I believe in humanity.

00:55:10 Speaker_04
And I believe that there is some kind of lesson, it seems to be here, that we don't know quite what the beginnings of is or what the actual lesson is.

00:55:21 Speaker_06
And I think that it's going to be a little bit

00:55:24 Speaker_04
before we figure that out. Yeah. So right now it's just innocuous activity that has not hurt anything in airspace. That's mostly what they're kind of saying. They're waiting for it to fuck up a plane for they'll do anything about it.

00:55:38 Speaker_04
That's like one of the big excuses. But if I was flying a plane over there, they would shoot me down.

00:55:42 Speaker_04
Dude, you hear about the story about the, one of the stories that got sent this week was about a sovereign citizen that crashed his own plane but almost murdered a commercial flight because he took off in a plane without telling anybody.

00:55:56 Speaker_05
Yeah, you gotta tell people if you're gonna take off in a plane.

00:55:59 Speaker_04
rules some rules are there for a reason and there's not a lot of not social rules like not a lot of these rules but when it comes to the flight in the sky with other machines that's not about liberty we need to know we gotta know buddy it's not it's not it's not impinging man you know like we believe of all of the stuff let's talk about that buddy

00:56:22 Speaker_04
This guy you're not traveling if you're flying that real you must have a license. Yes.

00:56:27 Speaker_04
That's why there's no flying cars But look at that so that exactly except we're about to get flying drones for the 2028 LA Olympics Well, I mean those are taxi drones taxi drones.

00:56:38 Speaker_04
Yeah, that's a really bad idea Eddie But the drivers in LA are so great on the ground. Yeah, I They're definitely going to do great in a 4D space.

00:56:47 Speaker_05
I feel like every other month someone I kind of know gets hit by a car in LA.

00:56:55 Speaker_04
It's just fucking crazy. There's no way. I love Gvork. He's my favorite Uber driver and I can't wait to see him in a B52. We're going to have so much fun. Yeah, you can smoke. Tell them you can smoke.

00:57:05 Speaker_04
The best part about these Uber drivers flying the taxis is that they can smoke.

00:57:09 Speaker_05
Yeah.

00:57:09 Speaker_04
Because you can open the window.

00:57:10 Speaker_05
Oh, yes. Oh, I mean, Gabby, if you could smoke, I'm for the flying the drone taxis. That's all Uber drivers want to do is be able to smoke in the car. Imagine getting stoned and shit up there.

00:57:21 Speaker_04
Oh, dude. That'd be fucking wonderful.

00:57:22 Speaker_05
No, dude, I'm talking cigarettes, man. Oh, you want to go backwards? I was just saying. I feel like whatever relaxes him. You want to go forward so we can go backwards. Let Govork smoke his Bulgarian cigarettes. No, he has to smoke American cigarettes.

00:57:37 Speaker_04
You're right.

00:57:37 Speaker_05
If he's going to smoke cigarettes, he's to smoke our cigarettes.

00:57:41 Speaker_04
Thank you, Eddie.

00:57:41 Speaker_05
Yes, that's right. Give back. Well, today was filled with a lot of emotions, wasn't it? Too many emotions for side stories? I got one thing I just want us to keep our eye on, and I don't know much about it. It just happened real quick before we go.

00:57:56 Speaker_05
His story is fucking not serious. His story is fucking insane, and I don't get it. And I feel like no one's talking about it. I think I want to talk about it more next week, but here's like a little teaser.

00:58:05 Speaker_05
Apparently, yesterday or two days ago from when you hear this, there was a giant gang massacre in Haiti. If you don't know, Haiti is completely run by gangs now. Oh, it's not doing great? The government doesn't matter anymore.

00:58:22 Speaker_05
There is a government, technically, and they say they are going to go after the gangs because of what happened, but in short, one of the gang's leaders, their son got really sick, and someone told them that it was a voodoo curse, and that the elderly were responsible, or the people who practiced the voodoo, and so he went to a slum and killed 180 residents over 60 years old.

00:58:51 Speaker_05
And he dragged them all in the street and shot them and stabbed them and killed them.

00:58:55 Speaker_04
I'm not happy with this guy. I'm not happy with him. I don't think it was the right choice, but he got stuff done. And he probably did more for that. Think about how hard it is to pass a law in America.

00:59:06 Speaker_04
you know how hard it would be for Joe Biden to murder 60 voodoo preachers in a town like without a you need a warrant and stuff which takes like 12 hours.

00:59:16 Speaker_05
The gang rounded up scores of residents over 60 from their homes in the Wharf Jermaine area and shot or stabbed them to death with knives and machetes Witnesses reported that mutilated bodies were burned in the streets. The death toll could rise.

00:59:33 Speaker_05
The UN Human Rights Chief Volkner Turk, which is, I mean, a scary name. In a way, though, it's kind of funny. Put it at 184 people estimate. The number of people killed in gang violence this year in Haiti is over 5,000. Jeez Lou.

00:59:53 Speaker_05
So like Haiti is a small country. It is a very small country. Lots of gangs have completely taken over and they had a mass execution of the elderly this week.

01:00:05 Speaker_05
And they're saying that the gangs control everything and are taking everyone's cell phones away. So the residents aren't able to spread information about this attack. So we really don't know anything yet. We will get deeper into the story.

01:00:20 Speaker_04
It is a fucking

01:00:21 Speaker_04
insane story it is just that is intense yeah because i'm surprised because i guess like i'd actually want to know more about that side story tell p o t l gmail dot anyone knows anything please and the state of voodoo in haiti it was also must be that that is interesting because i thought it was really a popular like folk

01:00:44 Speaker_05
It's obviously not real.

01:00:46 Speaker_04
Well, unless you believe it. Unless you're getting murdered by a Haitian gang leader over it, then it's pretty fucking real. Yeah.

01:00:53 Speaker_05
Also, I'm pretty sure, it doesn't say anywhere, that the child actually died. The child's just sick.

01:01:00 Speaker_04
Well, that's the thing. I mean, for me- That's crazy. When I have a cold, I might as well be dead. Oh, the kid died?

01:01:05 Speaker_05
Okay, okay, okay.

01:01:06 Speaker_04
Good? No.

01:01:09 Speaker_02
No. Not a child.

01:01:11 Speaker_04
That's not good. I'm not saying it's good.

01:01:14 Speaker_04
Also, in just as important news, apparently, according to our favorite Gypsy Rose, with her former husband, the D is in fact not fire, even though she said in a sworn statement that her ex-husband's D was fire.

01:01:32 Speaker_01
I'm on a high right now. I'm living my best life and y'all can't take that from me. And the D is? Fire!

01:01:42 Speaker_04
Yes. So unfortunately no and I actually don't know why she would say that because I'm looking at Ryan Scott Anderson now and yes he does look like Winnie the Pooh but you don't think that Winnie the Pooh knows how to fuck.

01:01:56 Speaker_05
It looks like if you cracked him open Brian Thompson would come out.

01:02:02 Speaker_04
You see we always come back to humor. We'll always come back to humor. Oh wow, what a day. So next week don't wear Romas to Christmas. I feel like that's also part of the reason why I'm feeling like extra edgy.

01:02:18 Speaker_04
But I'm happier this year than I've been in years. I'm two weeks away. I'm fucking stressed. It's a fucking hard holiday season. I think that we gotta be, I know people talk about this, but we gotta be good to each other.

01:02:31 Speaker_04
Yeah during this time period you got to live every day knowing for a fact that yeah sometimes grandma she's a fucking bitch but hey you know it's Christmas time everybody just shut up about it for a little bit you can laugh about it with your grandmother you know what I mean she's got some fucking bad things to say she's got some bad stuff bad thoughts in her brain but you know fucking put Sebastian Maniscalco on

01:02:55 Speaker_07
Yeah.

01:02:55 Speaker_04
And smoke weed. Dude, get your grandmother an edible.

01:02:58 Speaker_05
Go for that walk, man. Help out. Take the dog for a walk. Go get stoned.

01:03:02 Speaker_04
Some people get paranoid, Eddie, but for those of you, if you get paranoid and you're not into it, I totally get it. It's entertainment for everyone else. Fucking make yourself cum in your asshole.

01:03:13 Speaker_05
Yeah. Like, honestly, I want to say this. When's the last time you shot one in the air and then threw it down your pants and caught it with your hole? It's hard.

01:03:21 Speaker_04
What?

01:03:21 Speaker_05
Come. You jerk it, jerk it, jerk it, jerk it, jerk it, jerk it. We were just in New York. And you come in the air real far and then you take it off your pants and you lay down on your belly and you try to catch it with your asshole?

01:03:31 Speaker_05
Yeah, it's called the Bellagio. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:03:34 Speaker_04
I was just in New York, yeah. So, yes. Very recently. But if you ask my wife, she would say yes, the D is fire. Because oh man oh man, when I catch that cum in my asshole, she's the happiest she's ever gonna be that week. She cums in your ass?

01:03:53 Speaker_04
No, when I do it for her.

01:03:55 Speaker_05
When I do the Bellagio in front of her. It's a great trick.

01:03:59 Speaker_04
That's how I got her. You know? Just because I'm fucking sexy. That's not just why she's with me. I'm funny. I'm entertainer. I said some stuff today, right? I don't even remember what I said today. I feel like I blacked out in rage. Well, that's the thing.

01:04:14 Speaker_04
I promise we're going to get back to the jokes next week. I feel like we were still vaguely funny. Yeah, I know. Big stories.

01:04:19 Speaker_05
Big stories. It's big stories and we got to talk about them. You know, it's hard because it's like the information is very important. You shouldn't be getting info from us. Well, you know what?

01:04:31 Speaker_05
I think whatever you heard today, let this spark your interest and go out and learn a lot more from credible news sources. Who? That's my only thing though.

01:04:39 Speaker_04
The Guardian. I trust The Guardian. I trust The Guardian. I read The Guardian. Yeah. Yeah. I read The Guardian. Al Jazeera, honestly, is pretty good. Yeah. From the outside. You know who I trust?

01:04:49 Speaker_05
I hate them, but you know who I trust? Who? TMZ.

01:04:52 Speaker_04
TMZ knows what's happening.

01:04:56 Speaker_05
They have connect, we've talked about this.

01:04:58 Speaker_04
I do hate them. Oh yeah.

01:04:59 Speaker_05
I don't think I don't, because they're classless.

01:05:02 Speaker_04
They break stories faster than anybody else.

01:05:04 Speaker_05
Oh my God, if you hear a rumor that someone's dead, it's like, oh Prince is dead. It's on TMZ. It's there first.

01:05:10 Speaker_04
But we'll do some listener emails tomorrow. Next week we're gonna get really silly, right before the holiday. I do believe we're gonna do a little, we might do a little something extra for the holiday. I think it'll be fun. Yes.

01:05:20 Speaker_04
Go see us, go watch the stream. The stream, I promise you, It's gonna be a laugh a minute. What, the last stream on the left? The last stream on the left. Go to patreon.com slash last podcast on the left.

01:05:32 Speaker_05
Also, check this out. I'm wearing my, for today, I'm wearing my last podcast on the left alien shirt. That's awesome. Yeah, go pick yours up. There's lots of good merch available. Get your orders in soon if you want them for Christmas.

01:05:44 Speaker_05
We're getting flooded right now, so if you want your shit for the holidays, make sure you put your order in today.

01:05:50 Speaker_06
Show people that you

01:05:52 Speaker_05
are cool with the podcast community. Also, gotta say, might be a merch drop on eddytoons.com this week. Might be. I saw some of those.

01:06:01 Speaker_04
I tried to put in some feedback. We took your note. Well, we took your note. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you.

01:06:07 Speaker_07
I really appreciate that.

01:06:09 Speaker_04
And yeah, if you want, you go check out Luigi Mangione's, I think his manifesto will be on the internet for a little while longer. And if you want, or anything else you should check out, you should probably give,

01:06:20 Speaker_04
your default mother caller something i think if you have one is probably give her a call and you should probably uh... This might be a good time for us all to have a very peaceful Christmas season.

01:06:31 Speaker_05
Yeah, man, I saw that fucking Emilia Perez movie. What was that? What is that? Everyone's loving it. It was garbage. Zoe Saldana. Yeah, Zoe Saldana musical. Netflix. Netflix. You were all saying things. I don't know who Zoe Saldana is.

01:06:46 Speaker_05
You know who Zoe Saldana is.

01:06:48 Speaker_04
Who she is?

01:06:48 Speaker_05
She's the hot- Who she is? She's Columbiana. Which one? Remember the movie Columbiana? Nope. She was the hot fucking assassin. Nope. She's the most popular actress in the world.

01:06:59 Speaker_04
Avatar. Yes. Yeah, I know that blue woman.

01:07:02 Speaker_05
Yeah, she's been in the most popular movie in history.

01:07:05 Speaker_04
Oh, yeah, Guardians of the Galaxy. Yeah, she's very good.

01:07:07 Speaker_05
Yes.

01:07:08 Speaker_04
She's very beautiful.

01:07:08 Speaker_05
Yes.

01:07:09 Speaker_04
Movie's not good, though, that she's in, though. It is bad.

01:07:12 Speaker_05
It is bad.

01:07:13 Speaker_02
I love Sully South Island.

01:07:14 Speaker_05
That's why I went and saw it. I was at the IMC Center in New York, and I literally walked out like 40 minutes in. I was like, listen. This movie fucking sucks. Can I go see Carrie? Because Carrie was playing. And then he's like, all right.

01:07:29 Speaker_05
Yeah, you're the fifth guy here. No, he literally was like, you can tell people have been bitching about this movie. He was just like, yeah, yeah.

01:07:37 Speaker_04
We do know. Are we doing ads for Gladiator 2? I don't think so. Because I fucking walked out of that movie. That movie sucked.

01:07:43 Speaker_05
We both walked out of a movie this weekend in New York.

01:07:46 Speaker_02
Yes.

01:07:46 Speaker_05
But you know what I didn't walk out of? Denzel Washington's great though. Yeah. Yeah, he's fine. Yeah, I didn't see it, but I'm not going to though. Go see Onora. Onora was wonderful. Everyone's saying Onora's supposed to be great. It's unbelievable.

01:07:58 Speaker_05
Sean Baker movies are always great, but Onora was perfect. Go see Onora. If you see anything this holiday season. I also got my Christmas Day Nosferatu tickets. Oh yeah, I'm going on the 27th. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:08:10 Speaker_04
Everybody's talking fucking hot ass shit about this movie. It looks fucking awesome. I can't wait to see this movie. He's looking good. You see Stellan Skarsgård kiss his son in the mouth? He was so happy.

01:08:19 Speaker_05
Oh, he pulled a Brady. Tom Brady. The other goat. Tom Brady loves kissing his family on the mouth. He really does. It's weird, right? That's why he, you know, he unretired. You know, what's he going to do?

01:08:31 Speaker_05
Stay home and play spin the bottle with his kids all day?

01:08:35 Speaker_03
Gotcha, you fuck. Fuck you, Tom Brady.

01:08:38 Speaker_04
You big headed motherfucker. Please don't, please don't send the Starwhackers after me. Wow, what a great episode. Hail Satan, everyone. Oh, yeah, go to all the other stuff, lastpodcastlive.com, buy live tickets.

01:08:53 Speaker_04
We're gonna be doing a lot of different shows. Our live show's better than ever. Go check it out. Yeah. And twitch.tv slash LPNTV. Podcast.

01:09:00 Speaker_03
And Good Podcast is new.

01:09:02 Speaker_05
And the new episode's all about Japan. Ooh. Oh, my God. Did you see? We got the numbers back. Brighter Side went up over 100%. You're doing very well. Go listen to Brighter Side. We're fucking crushing it right now. We're doing very well.

01:09:15 Speaker_05
Come on with it, folks. I love you guys. We'll see you next week. Hail my mom. Hail my dad.

01:09:21 Speaker_04
Yeah. I'm sorry that America killed them. Yes. But I'm going to come back here and fortunately, Eddie, it was me.

01:09:29 Speaker_07
Oh, shoot!

01:09:33 Speaker_05
But hey, you're funnier as an orphan. I am the biggest orphan in the world.