Side Stories: Revenge of the Drones AI transcript and summary - episode of podcast Last Podcast On The Left

Go to PodExtra AI's episode page (Side Stories: Revenge of the Drones) to play and view complete AI-processed content: summary, mindmap, topics, takeaways, transcript, keywords and highlights.

Go to PodExtra AI's podcast page (Last Podcast On The Left) to view the AI-processed content of all episodes of this podcast.

Last Podcast On The Left episodes list: view full AI transcripts and summaries of this podcast on the blog

Episode: Side Stories: Revenge of the Drones

Author: The Last Podcast Network
Duration: 01:09:56

Episode Shownotes

Henry & Eddie bring you this week's weirdest stories and true-crime news as panic and confusion begin to spread over continued mass sightings of unexplained mystery drones, Henry tries a dental dam for the first time, a major follow-up on the missing Wisconsin kayaker who's now facing charges after faking

his death and fleeing from family to Eastern Europe for online relationship, 2-year-old girl rescued after being trapped inside septic pit at North Texas daycare, Austrian couple married and divorced 12 times in alleged pension scam, Listener E-Mails, and MORE! Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to ad-free new episodes and get exclusive access to bonus content.

Full Transcript

00:00:00 Speaker_01
Do you want to listen to Last Podcast on the Left without ads? Do you want extra content? Do you want to see what it's like behind the scenes? Patreon.com slash last podcast on the left.

00:00:12 Speaker_02
There's no place to escape to. This is the last podcast on the left. Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started.

00:00:23 Speaker_03
Side stories.

00:00:24 Speaker_01
Yes. God, feeling good. Yeah, you feel good? Yeah, I just got that dookie, man. That was a big one. Dude, I almost had to call in Rob and be like, what do we do with this thing? Oh, that's what happened?

00:00:43 Speaker_00
Yeah.

00:00:43 Speaker_01
Because they said that there was a 2.5 earthquake in Montecito.

00:00:47 Speaker_00
Yeah, I know. That's where it's going.

00:00:48 Speaker_01
I thought that's what it was. I thought that that's what that rumble was. Man, shit's so big, I almost had to bite a Christmas present. Wow, you know, honestly, what did that shit do for you? Besides make you late to record.

00:00:59 Speaker_01
It made me feel fucking great. I know, after the fact. That shit was so big, I came. Wow. What a great way to start our Christmas episode of Side Stories. This is a lead up to Christmas. Yeah, honestly, it's still the godless December.

00:01:13 Speaker_01
It's not Christmas yet. It's not Christmas yet. This is godless December. Bills are due. Taxes are coming. That's right. Welcome to Side Stories. We have ads to do. You must listen. You have to get them. Do not skip. Actually, do whatever you want.

00:01:26 Speaker_01
Do whatever you want. My name is Henry Zebrowski. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. Hello. I'm big. Hey, Henry, before we get started, we got a gift. Remember, I went and saw my dentist today. Yeah. Oh, and was she happy with you? She was happy.

00:01:37 Speaker_01
Because we did bleep her name out several times, but then I believe in the YouTube replay, we didn't. Yes, I think that's what the problem was. Now she found out. She's a great dentist. Wonderful dentist.

00:01:51 Speaker_01
Honestly, my teeth were a mess and now they're doing great. Elegant woman. Yes. Very picturesque woman. I met her. And we were asking about the dental dam and whether it's good. Well, we were making fun. We were making jibes. Well, she gave me some.

00:02:07 Speaker_01
Would you like to see if maybe you want to bring this home? Well, let me just see if I can do this. She told me it was a gift for you. Oh, for me? Well, there's only one here. We can't share. Oh, good. No, we cannot. I will not share this with you.

00:02:18 Speaker_01
Clean it and bring it back. Listen, if you lady in the tramp a dental dam, it's just two tramps. Here we go. This is the ... I feel like we could do ... I've never used one of these before. No, no, no, no, yeah. You put it on there.

00:02:31 Speaker_01
Yeah, yeah, there you go. You got to lick it. Yeah. Yeah, you gotta push it out. So this is supposed to be romantic? Yeah, no, no. You're creating the hole. You're supposed to go into the hole. I believe. Really? Okay. Alright. So this is clean, right?

00:02:44 Speaker_01
Yeah, that's straight from the dentist's office. It couldn't be more clean. I'm gonna put it under my Starbucks can. Alright. There it goes.

00:02:52 Speaker_02
I think that works. Oh my God, is your Starbucks squirted?

00:02:59 Speaker_03
I know you're clean, baby. I know you're clean. I just can't bring anything back to my wife. I know, I can tell you're clean, baby. By the way you dance, I know you're nice. Oh, nice, tidy woman. Oh my God, that's your asshole.

00:03:18 Speaker_01
What a great episode. Already. Thank you. Eddie said before the show, I got some dental dams. We could do some good material with that. I mean it was great. Hey. Do you think, are you not impressed by yourself? Robin Williams could never.

00:03:31 Speaker_01
You ever see when he does it with the Pashmina? No. Where he does like, he goes inside the actor's studio and he takes the scarf from the woman and then he does five accents and we can't do anymore. Everybody's favorite comedian. Genius.

00:03:45 Speaker_01
Genius, genius man. If you want to see bits like that, please come to Classy Night out this Saturday. We have 10 tickets left. Yes. All right, we have 10 tickets. It's going to be truly a very special night.

00:03:57 Speaker_01
I bought two tickets because I was worried that we were going to run out before I could bring my friends. I'm excited. We have people doing things they've never done before, people singing songs. It is a full, Holiday extravaganza.

00:04:09 Speaker_01
I got a Christmas tree for the stage. It's gonna be wonderful. It's gonna be a lot of fun and I can't wait. Come on out and also check us out in Atlanta at the Coca-Cola Roxy January 11th. We are, this show's gonna be fucking awesome.

00:04:22 Speaker_01
I can't wait for the show. There's still tickets left. Our Side Story show in Atlanta sold out. So if you want to see us in Atlanta, you got to go to the Coca-Cola Roxy and check out Last Podcast proper. That's going to be on January 11th.

00:04:34 Speaker_01
Get those tickets. Great Christmas present. I'll see you in Atlanta.

00:04:37 Speaker_02
It's a good present! It's done for you already!

00:04:40 Speaker_01
You have a whole night! You get to go up to, I believe it's in Marietta. Which is outside of Atlanta. It's far. It's a bit far. But spend the evening out there.

00:04:51 Speaker_02
Yeah.

00:04:52 Speaker_01
Don't drive drunk home. No. Please drive drunk there. Sober up during the show and fall asleep on the way home while you're looking for... Don't drones. Yes, don't drive drunk. And now we're going to talk about the drones for a second.

00:05:05 Speaker_01
Just for a little bit of a second. Yeah, because Henry refuses to talk about it. Well, nothing's going on, Eddie. Yeah? What do you mean, nothing's going on? Don't you understand? It's just plans. And we're idiots. You're a fat idiot. I know.

00:05:19 Speaker_01
I'm a getting fatter idiot. Yes. Post-fat refatting. Getting back to fat again. I'm in my Oprah Winfrey phase three. Yeah, this is like the fourth episode in the sequel. Yes. It's the grand fattening of Henry Zebrowski. The final fattening, probably.

00:05:38 Speaker_01
Hopefully. And why would I talk about something that's not happening? Yeah, well, because a lot of it apparently is done by humans. Two people arrested for flying drones dangerously close to Boston Airport. Where they're stupid.

00:05:52 Speaker_01
Yeah, well, I mean, honestly, what the fuck are you doing? They're literally trying to cause trouble. So for the last week, obviously, I went into, we got, we had kind of a serious moment last week. We talked about the health care shooter.

00:06:04 Speaker_01
We talked about this actual serious problem with drones. But I do like, and I am open. to a human explanation. We have said already, are these things flying all over the eastern seaboard?

00:06:15 Speaker_01
Well, my favorite thing is every time I see a news story about it, it's always like the government says most of them are human flown. And it's like, most? You can't say the word most. They won't even give us the credit of lying to us anymore.

00:06:30 Speaker_01
They won't even, just make up a reason of what's happening. Just make it up. Because at this point, you just saying, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know what it is. Oh, you don't know what it is? You don't know what it is.

00:06:43 Speaker_01
You shot a thing about over the tundras of Alaska. You found a thing the size of a car in the middle of the sky and you shot it out of the sky instantly. We have no idea what the visible, what my, You can't shoot this shit out of the sky.

00:06:57 Speaker_01
New Jersey is the most densely populated state in America. You can't just be shooting shit out of the sky. It's gonna kill somebody. It's getting very complicated because over the last week since we've covered this, number one, we've had a full crash.

00:07:11 Speaker_01
of one of these so-called drones. Couple crashes, right? Yes, in New Jersey neighborhoods. A friend of mine, literally my friend Sandy, sent me a message saying like, look at this, literally blocks from the drone falling from the sky.

00:07:23 Speaker_01
Government came, scooped it up, nothing happened. Must be commercial, we don't know. They keep saying we don't know.

00:07:29 Speaker_01
If you watch all of this, I also am seeing a lot of debunking, which I actually truly appreciate because it's a very scary story and so there are a lot of people pointing out, especially if you go into any sort of

00:07:39 Speaker_01
Aviation subreddit they are showing that some of the stuff. We are saying they are planes.

00:07:44 Speaker_01
Yes planes now people are staring up in the sky They have loosened drone regulations around, New Jersey So things are going up in the sky also where this a lot of this happening, New Jersey is around these Air Force bases We have everything's flying in and out maybe stuff.

00:07:58 Speaker_01
We don't know one great listener sent me an email Which I thought was interesting is that you notice number one. We don't hear from any professional drone operators There's nobody talking to people that run high-end, very, very large drones, right?

00:08:14 Speaker_01
So this guy, someone emailed me that works within the drone industry, and they said, I've worked with small, publicly available drones, two very large, eight-rotor drones capable of lifting large cinema cameras that are about six feet in diameter.

00:08:27 Speaker_01
I have also seen those drones used for survey and geospatial work equipped with LiDAR and other sensory equipment.

00:08:33 Speaker_01
In my opinion, there's no way that these large drones that people are, that are just, not just large drones that people are flying around. Large drones have a very limited flight time, even without a payload.

00:08:44 Speaker_01
They use a very large LiPo battery, I guess it's the size and weight of bricks, and they don't last very long. Drones of this size have to come down for battery swaps often and the footage doesn't seem to reflect these short flight times. They aren't.

00:08:56 Speaker_01
They're sticking up in the sky. We don't know what they are. What I find really interesting is the fact that maybe, okay, FAA and drones. This is another one. Great email. that I do think is interesting.

00:09:07 Speaker_01
One thing that this guy puts on, which I think is, could be, right, it's like, there's some stuff, you can go to maymanaerospace.com, where you can see some of these more experimental, actual drones.

00:09:19 Speaker_01
And one other one that is called the Terrodynamics XP4 Transwing, which is a drone that is, it's kind of in the middle of being worked on right now, which I guess they're trying to say that this is a soft launch, that they're doing it in public, which they don't do.

00:09:33 Speaker_01
But still, this concept of it's a drone that goes up and it has rotors that switch for it to go horizontal or vertical. So the rotors themselves switch, so the plane does, the drone itself does change shape.

00:09:47 Speaker_01
So you can see maybe that explains why some of the things look like they're changing shape. I could see that. But again, now it seems like they're just throwing drones up willy-nilly.

00:09:55 Speaker_01
One thing that's important to know is that with civilian drones, you literally, because most of them we get are from China, They cannot enter restricted airspace if you want them to. They fall down.

00:10:06 Speaker_01
They literally are built to not be able to go into protected airspace. Oh really? Yes. They go up and they literally fall out of the sky. Anything you can just buy. Like anything you can just buy on Amazon. Wow.

00:10:17 Speaker_01
So they have like what, GPS on them and like once you go somewhere? There are no no spots. They can't go to. Interesting. I never knew that before. And that's why they fall down. So that's also a wonder of people just throwing themselves up.

00:10:29 Speaker_01
But then there's a lot of talk about, is it Russian intelligence seeking? That's a big thing. But why would they be testing it all the way over here? They'd be testing it over in fucking Bosnia or some shit. Because they're not, Eddie.

00:10:42 Speaker_01
But that's literally one of those. I don't believe that. I don't believe that either. And I'm looking for a human explanation. So what I did get was like, I actually really like this one. This is really good. So I got someone.

00:10:57 Speaker_01
They work in the craft industry. This is someone who works in the aerospace industry. Manufacturing. The New Jersey stuff struck me differently for a few reasons. The craft are sedan size.

00:11:07 Speaker_01
That's just smaller than most fixed-wing aircraft carrying people, that can carry people, but much larger than commercially available quadcopters and drones. While many you, and the lights.

00:11:17 Speaker_01
This is what people saying a lot of why they're misidentified as planes and people don't know what's going on.

00:11:21 Speaker_01
While the many UAP sightings have to do with the lights, the lights on this craft appear to be very much like conventional aircraft, specifically the red and green wingtip lights and forward landing lights. So mostly drones don't have lights.

00:11:35 Speaker_01
These ones are outfitted with lights that would maybe make you think it's a plane, almost like they're trying to disguise the fact that they are drones.

00:11:43 Speaker_01
Or are they some kind of, this is the most wackadoo explanation, which is that they are some form of organic life that is looking And trying to look like a plane. Okay, that makes sense.

00:11:54 Speaker_01
But that's also, that's the most far-flung, ridiculous explanation. And this is what they're saying too. Flight tracking. The craft are real. We now know that. The stuff that's flying around is physical. Why isn't the FAA not know?

00:12:08 Speaker_01
Why can't they just say, we are unleashing, this is like a drone exercise? They could just say whatever they want, but they won't. They won't say what it is. So that's the actual mystery here. It is no longer whether these are aliens or not.

00:12:22 Speaker_01
I don't know if they are aliens or not. And actually, I don't think the answer particularly matters. I think the only thing that matters now is, So all this stuff's going on and you're just gonna go up in there and you're gaslighting me.

00:12:34 Speaker_01
Like the government's gaslighting us, telling us we're crazy. And they're like, nothing's happening. Oh, whatever. And then you can see people on the internet absorb it, right? And they go like, oh, it's just plans. Everybody's stupid.

00:12:43 Speaker_01
And you're like, it's bigger than plans. It is, there's something happening. We don't know what it is. Yeah. Rob, I just sent you a thing on Instagram, if you want to say.

00:12:52 Speaker_01
I forgot, I saved this video like a year ago for our stream and I just remembered it while you were talking to me that this exists. And take a look at this. Do you think that this could be what's going on? There's these drones.

00:13:09 Speaker_01
It's called the Jetson One. Oh, I thought you were gonna send me something that was just like a big, like, old, gay man sucking his own dick. Oh, yeah. Well, that's what my boys from Florida have been sending me. It's like, oh, they got another drone!

00:13:21 Speaker_01
It's just like the guy with the huge dick. Yeah, yeah. I do like that, though. I like that and some misinformation. What happened to Lemon Party? It's still out there, right? So this is the first affordable EV toll on the market.

00:13:35 Speaker_01
No pilot's license required in the U.S. Look at this thing. This could be something that we're seeing. This is sedan sized. It's got no fucking lights on it.

00:13:44 Speaker_02
It's got, well, I mean, lights are easy to attach.

00:13:47 Speaker_01
Why, why? Why does it have no lights? I mean, it's also during the day. These things are solid. You don't see a person inside of them. We'll talk about this. I do think that what I... This is also like a year and a half ago.

00:13:59 Speaker_01
Our aerospace engineer listener who sent us that email does say, which I do believe, the government is constantly working on a series of flying craft that don't look like stuff we're used to seeing. So there could be some of that.

00:14:15 Speaker_01
I feel like now, to be honest, they're just throwing stuff up in the sky because they can't. Now everybody is. So now, just like the Luigi Mangione story, it's just another story that is entering into the ass end of the news cycle.

00:14:30 Speaker_01
It's just going to be over. Do you think we'll still be talking about this in 2025? If it's still happening, which it might be. Yeah. Because it's not stopping. And it continues to actually spread and get weirder. Well, it's all over the country now.

00:14:45 Speaker_01
It is all over the country. Have you seen it in California? Have you seen it in New Mexico? I have emails from Arizona, Ohio, Portland, Washington, D.C., Arizona. Ohio is the aviation capital of America. You know the Wright Brothers are from Ohio.

00:14:57 Speaker_01
North Carolina tries to claim them because that's where the flight was, but the Wright Brothers are from Ohio. I like the Wrong Brothers better. I bet you do. Yeah, because they invented cornholing. Yeah, they love it. Yeah, yeah.

00:15:09 Speaker_01
Pulling a man's pants down while he's asleep in his asshole. I love the Wrong Brothers! Yeah! Alright, but those are the ones who first told me about a dental dam. Because they never used them. Was that cherry flavored?

00:15:22 Speaker_01
It was, you know, it did have a cherry flavor, but I think my gums are bleeding. We have another update. We're gonna get out of here. We're gonna get out of this thing.

00:15:30 Speaker_01
Also, I will say the, I know that we're in the pocket with something like the Luigi Mangione story when we get angry emails from both sides. That's how we know we're good. Like we're right in there, which is good.

00:15:40 Speaker_01
Literally everyone's just like, you can't support him. You have to support him. It's so funny. It's so funny.

00:15:45 Speaker_03
We are just, I just have to, I'm nihilistic. I'm a broadcaster.

00:15:49 Speaker_01
I am on nobody's team but my own. And I'm proud of that, y'all know me.

00:15:57 Speaker_01
But I will say I'm happy for the people that have sent me emails that are just people that are receptionists at these various healthcare places that are the ones receiving the brunt of the death threats.

00:16:06 Speaker_01
As you can see, they're setting up, the NYPD is setting up their own hotline for CEOs to call just in case they're scared. Because you don't want a CEO to be scared. Oh my God, you should be calling. You're a CEO. I've been calling everyone I can.

00:16:19 Speaker_01
You should call. Don't label me with that. I'm not a CEO. I'm a grassroots mayor. I'm a mayor of podcasting. Is some guy with a shitty podcast going to come off you? No. No. You don't know. You never know. You never know, Eddie. You really don't.

00:16:35 Speaker_01
Honestly, Eddie. Well, let's up your security. I want some real security in this fucking place. Do we need more death threats? Oh my god. I would love some guns around the place. I mean, well, you know, everyone's saying no. Everyone's told me.

00:16:47 Speaker_01
Rob's got finger guns. He's saying yes. I don't want guns. I want robotic dogs. I want the Boston Dynamic dog. That's what I want. I mean, that's a great idea. I've been asking. It's adorable. It doesn't cost that much money.

00:16:58 Speaker_01
But it's just, no, remember when you're, the people that are getting the death threats are not who you want them to be. to me. Yeah, they don't go up. It doesn't go up the pipe. Yeah, they just go sideways straight to the police.

00:17:10 Speaker_01
Yes, and they are just so just know that. Yeah. I know it's only 74 grand for the Boston Dynamics dog. Dude, we could all, as a company, I'll garner some wages. Listen, Rob, it's just for one month. I'll garner some wages. I got two grand on it.

00:17:23 Speaker_01
We'll all do it. Yeah, we'll all throw money in. And we buy one dog and that protects the network. Protects all. Can it go up and down stairs? Yeah. Alright. It can bound. Makes big leaps. Very frightening. Alright, so it won't fuck with my dog.

00:17:40 Speaker_01
Oh yes, it will kill everyone. It's gonna kill everyone. That's what I like. I want to be killed by my pet. That is my dream. They should have gave it a head. I mean, maybe you don't want to give the robot dog a head.

00:17:51 Speaker_01
Yeah, sometimes you can give it a head. It's like a dog dog. No, there's a head. It's a rifle. Oh, there we go. Isn't that nice? Isn't that cute? Look at that. Oh, cute. Oh wow, a little guy. It's got a little guy. He's got a little gum there.

00:18:02 Speaker_01
Oh no, that's an arm attachment so you can grab at people. Oh, that's great. Right at crotch level. Yeah. Hurts! All right, let's do more updates yeah, oh you got more updates this story

00:18:16 Speaker_01
At first was kind of a dumb story, but now that the details are out, I fucking love this story. This gentleman, he tried to fake his own death.

00:18:25 Speaker_01
Oh, okay, yeah, the guy in the lake with the canoe, and he ran off to Uzbekistan, and he tried to give his family the money. So when it all went away, so Ryan Borgwart, he faked his own death. Horrible name.

00:18:38 Speaker_01
He's a Wisconsin kayaker, and he had faked his own death. At first, there was rumors that There it was a rumor that he might have gone to Uzbekistan to be with the woman that he had found online. And it seems that that is true. It did true.

00:18:55 Speaker_01
They ended up negotiating with this man through the police got in contact with him as he had left. So he had faked his own death. And for reasons unknown, they have not released the reasons. He said that's up to the man himself, too.

00:19:07 Speaker_01
But he did voluntarily return to the United States and get abducted. He got arrested on obstruction of justice charges and $500 bond, like nothing. Is that the name of the crime for faking your own death? Obstruction of justice? Yeah, obstruction.

00:19:23 Speaker_01
Because what you're doing is making them, they spent like $35,000 on the- You gotta pay that shit back. You do. Or that's kind of like, you might get some jail time. There's a lot of ways to go about it.

00:19:35 Speaker_01
I know one thing he's not getting is his family back. because he fucked it up. So he was married with kids. And if you just hear, I just, now we have the details of how he made this plan. And this is a man.

00:19:49 Speaker_01
And I will, we've said this on the show before, and I will give this man credit for not killing his family. He did not kill his family. He didn't kill his family. We do know that about them. We can say that this man did not kill his family.

00:20:03 Speaker_01
And that is good. And hard to do. What? Not kill your family. Every day. My mother's been here, my mother's been here for six days. All right. I wanted to literally crucify her. Yeah. Luckily, I'm an only child. But I love her. Yeah. I love her to death.

00:20:18 Speaker_01
And honestly, mom, we had a great time. Yeah. No, she was great. I had a wonderful time with your mom. We had a really, really good time. Gay men's chorus. Wonderful. Where were the wives on that? I don't know. Wait, what did the gay men's chorus?

00:20:29 Speaker_01
I don't understand. I mean, I get Christmas makes us all happy. Yeah. But why? Where are the women? Yeah. And what's up with the line for the men's room? I don't know. Where are the women?

00:20:37 Speaker_01
I love seeing gay men all get together because I love hearing laughter. Yeah. Right? Because what makes people more gay than the holidays? And they were hairy chested, strong, like you can tell they're like working out athletes.

00:20:49 Speaker_01
Yeah, where were the women? Where were their wives? Yeah, where's the cheering section? Incredible show. Incredible show. And yeah, wow. What a Christmas experience I've had. I've had so much Christmas in the last five days.

00:21:01 Speaker_01
I never want to see a jingle bell again. But we got eight days left! Yeah, I can see you getting shingle bells this year. I'm fuckin', it's on its way.

00:21:15 Speaker_01
So let's go back to the story so this guy for the amount of energy put into this he probably could have done a lot But it was pretty fucking this guy really went for it, so he looked into What happens when you drown and what are the circumstances by which people drown in a lake and he?

00:21:32 Speaker_01
Realized he's like oh, I'm gonna do that. I got I got an idea. I got a little idea so he tended church with his family Mm-hmm the morning of August 11th to pray for death. Don't he had to will he had to go here to go pretend to be You know, a father.

00:21:46 Speaker_01
Dear God, please let me get away with faking my own death. Please make me a bird so I can fly far, far away from here. And so he put his plan into motion that night, telling his family he's going on a solo kayaking trip because that's what fathers do.

00:22:03 Speaker_01
So he drove 50 miles from his home in Watertown to Green Lake, right? So then he said he picked Green Lake because, this is how much research he did, was that it was the deepest lake in Wisconsin. Okay, that's a great reason. He knows what to do.

00:22:17 Speaker_01
So he paddles, kayaks to the middle of the lake. the raft, gets out of the kayak into the raft, overturns the kayak, sinks it, knocks a hole in it, sinks it to the bottom. He then paddles back to the shore in the raft.

00:22:30 Speaker_01
He dumps his cell phone in a tackle box with his license and all that shit. I didn't know how he did this, right? In a tackle box, dumps it back in the lake. He's been so afraid. So far, so good. Absolutely.

00:22:40 Speaker_01
He's so afraid, because now he's had to walk out of the lake in waist-deep muck that then he has to crawl on his belly and almost Snow Angel-style mix up all the mud. Well, yeah, because you can't have the footprints. None.

00:22:53 Speaker_01
So he then, he had positioned. So before this, he had put an electronic bike in the woods on the other side of the lake. Yeah. And so he got his electronic bike covered in mud. Only in Wisconsin that wouldn't get stolen. Dude.

00:23:06 Speaker_01
Goes, takes his bike, 70 miles, all night. He bikes all night to Madison.

00:23:14 Speaker_03
Then he caught a bus to Toronto.

00:23:15 Speaker_02
Oh, I'm doing it, baby.

00:23:16 Speaker_03
Oh, I got it. I'm coming.

00:23:18 Speaker_01
Oh, the bike's moving, moving. I'm coming, Julia. I'm coming, Julia. And so he fucking, he goes, he gets on a bus to Toronto. Somehow, this is the power of Uzbekistan pussy. He talked his way through customs.

00:23:36 Speaker_01
I mean, it's easy to talk your way into Canada. How? He had no passport. He had no driver's license. Hey, it's me. I'm good for it. Tim Hortons. Tim Hortons. You must be Canadian. You gotta be and so he I don't know how the fuck he got through.

00:23:52 Speaker_01
I don't know how he did it I mean fire that guy dude. Well. It's just I mean you have to I think that right you ever seen the movie Greenland No, the whole dumbass movie. I like that tell me I look like Gerard Butler who blind people

00:24:13 Speaker_01
Right in the sidestories, L-P-O-T-L, at gmail.com. Let me know if I look like Gerard Butler. Hold on, let me give him a mean face. Whoa, yeah, that is attractive. That is more, yeah, sort of. Yeah, you look like if he was sick in a way.

00:24:29 Speaker_03
The President must be saved. I think that is him. You're him in the off season. The White House has been exploded. Yes, yes. And they're coming. They're actually coming for it.

00:24:38 Speaker_01
They're actually coming for the Space Needle.

00:24:41 Speaker_03
We've got to protect the space station!

00:24:42 Speaker_01
That's my Gerard Butler. Um, but that whole shit fuck movie is all about how like the world's ending, it's all this thing, but he somehow talks this, this, it's like the whole world stops to save this one white family. Oh yeah. You know what I mean?

00:24:57 Speaker_01
It's like the whole world has to revolve around Gerard Butler. All these fucking movies. It's just like, what will happen to his son? I don't know, bro. Eight billion people are going to fucking die. And then he takes it, he gets it, spoiler, sorry guys.

00:25:12 Speaker_01
He convinces them to bring his son and he sneaks his son in, realizing, but also the whole reason why they didn't want his son to come in is because he had diabetes, he was gonna die immediately.

00:25:21 Speaker_01
Because there was no medicine, so he just brought him to die. Yep, that's it, no medicine in Greenland. But that's what this guy did in Canada, at the border.

00:25:29 Speaker_01
You know, he's sitting there being like, I gotta get through there, you don't know what the fucking, you don't know what I gotta do, man.

00:25:35 Speaker_03
I gotta save Uzbekistan.

00:25:38 Speaker_01
Alright, so then he flew to Paris. Romantic. And then he flew to an unspecified country in Asia, and that's where this lucky lady picked him up.

00:25:46 Speaker_01
Now apparently they spent a couple days in a hotel, and then they took up in their- you know everyone wants to go on a romantic, romantic vacation to the war-torn country of Georgia. Yes.

00:25:58 Speaker_01
And so he went to Georgia, which is now, y'all notice too in New York City, there's a lot of that now. People doing a lot of the Ukrainian food and the Georgian food. And it is interesting.

00:26:07 Speaker_01
It is its own thing, but it's definitely weird to see a bunch of like hip, like New York fashion people eat stuff like grork. You know what I mean? Where it's just like potato beet stew. Yeah. Just like caviar and eel. Yeah, yeah, it's like very strange.

00:26:23 Speaker_01
So he goes to Georgia, and now this is when they started to realize, he realized his story went national.

00:26:29 Speaker_01
The investigators that contacted Board worked through the information they found on the laptop he left behind, including a photo of the woman he traveled to meet.

00:26:37 Speaker_01
He told investigators he had to leave the laptop to make his death believable, but then he did leave too much money on it, but I will say, good guy alert, What'd he do?

00:26:45 Speaker_01
He set up, before he faked his own death, he set up a life insurance policy for $375,000 for his family. Okay. This is, again, he's an idiot. This man is a criminal idiot. But at least he had half a conscience. He tried. He is abandoning his family.

00:27:03 Speaker_01
This is so funny. He is abandoning, we will say he's straight up abandoning his family and that's his shit move. This is how Flo the Bar is. He didn't kill him, alright, which I think is really nice. We're proud of you. We're really proud of you.

00:27:16 Speaker_01
We're proud of you. And so they said they looked for his body for a month, which is also, and this is really a story about depression too because Borgwart, he even said,

00:27:27 Speaker_02
Fuck this guy's name.

00:27:30 Speaker_01
But he literally said, I didn't think they'd look for me that long. No, man. Nah. Sorry, bro. You're all accountable, bro. You're mattered to your family, dude. Sorry. That's a boner killer. I get it. Not even your family.

00:27:45 Speaker_01
You mattered to the government and the insurance company you're trying to fuck. Yes.

00:27:49 Speaker_02
The insurance company is gonna find your fucking ass.

00:27:52 Speaker_01
Wanna see your skeleton. They wanna see if you know anything about insurance companies, buddy. And we've all learned something, that nothing matters unless you're a corpse to them. And so that's all they gave a shit, dude.

00:28:06 Speaker_01
Again, this is a, it's so funny, honey.

00:28:09 Speaker_02
It's literally another example.

00:28:11 Speaker_01
It's the health insurance is what got him. The health insurance. The life insurance. The life insurance is what got him.

00:28:16 Speaker_02
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:28:17 Speaker_01
And so he is just, but he did try. He did try, but the worst part, Yeah, it just didn't work out, and I don't think it worked out with the girl. Oh, with her? I mean obviously it didn't, he's back. Yeah. She probably took whatever money he had.

00:28:34 Speaker_01
And he said, I'm very sorry. And he's apologized to his wife. He's lucky he fucking woke up with his organs. You know, I just think sometimes you meet an Uzbekistan scammer lady that probably looks very different in person. She deserves a raise. Whoa.

00:28:52 Speaker_01
She paid the American out. She could mastermind this whole fucking thing. You know he shows up and she's got three of them. That's how it always is. You ever see the story about the guy? It's a really fucked up story about this young dude.

00:29:06 Speaker_01
gifted kid, I forget what it was, it's just like he essentially gave all of his parents money to this OnlyFans girl in Eastern Europe and then when they cut him off he killed the whole family right so he killed everybody because they cut off his money spigot to this OnlyFans girl and then he cuts to the video of him talking to this lady in Eastern Europe and him explaining about like he's crying about how he wishes that they could be together and stuff and she goes

00:29:33 Speaker_01
Watch kill her family. Well, she just bored hangs out and juicy couture like it's just so it's just men It's rough out there for guys. This is oh, yeah, they grant a motto family annihilator this fucking guy. It's just

00:29:54 Speaker_01
I love our OnlyFans ladies, I just gotta know guys, you're paying for them to like ya. Alright, just the whole thing, they don't love you. I love us. And I love the arrangement, but you should remember.

00:30:06 Speaker_01
Yeah, that's the thing, with porn, before OnlyFans, it was like you were removed from the actual Stars. And now everyone thinks they know and they're in these relationships with these people.

00:30:17 Speaker_00
Parasocial relationships. It's very dangerous for them.

00:30:19 Speaker_01
It's nice because it gives them a little bit more autonomy and they don't have to necessarily deal with predatory pornography companies. I feel it's great that it gives them that sense of control, but then the problem is, it's you and the customer.

00:30:30 Speaker_01
Yeah, every time you're giving sexual relief to someone who's sexually oppressed, it's going to be a disaster at some point.

00:30:38 Speaker_03
That's why. Just make them come real fast.

00:30:40 Speaker_01
That's the whole idea. You make them, get them out. Just get the first, we all know. My first batch of devils that have to come out of me every day is necessary, right? That first evil batch has to come out, right? So that's what you gotta do.

00:30:54 Speaker_01
You just squirt them out real fast, then we can have a reasonable conversation. Yeah, absolutely. Let's get some new news. Yeah, well while we're on the topic of family annihilators, there's a quick one I might as well stick with it. Oh wow, great!

00:31:07 Speaker_01
Yeah, there's a 16 year old boy. Feels like Christmas, just like Christmas. Oh man, well I'm sorry I giggled. A 16-year-old boy murdered four family members in New Mexico this past weekend and he is charged with first-degree murder. Did they deserve it?

00:31:27 Speaker_01
It doesn't seem like they did. They don't say that in the article? There's not enough journalistic integrity to say whether the family deserved it or not, Henry. This is what happens when AI writes everything.

00:31:39 Speaker_01
New Mexico State Police announced that four bodies had been found in a Valencia County home on the previous day. The victims were fatally gunned down, and the 16-year-old boy has been arrested in connection to those deaths.

00:31:51 Speaker_01
Diego Leyva, who informed a 9-1-1 dispatcher that he had recently killed his family. Hey, at least he's honest about it. It helps everybody get wrapped up quick. No, this is definitely wrapped up quick.

00:32:06 Speaker_01
When deputies arrived, Diego walked out of the Belain residence with his hands in the air and was extremely intoxicated. The police statement notes... Do you think he did that?

00:32:24 Speaker_01
Before I come out yeah, no they but they took him into custody without without incident and The authorities when they enter the residence found a handgun on the kitchen table and four individuals dead 42 year old Leonardo Leyva Adriana Benkoma 35 who was a local volunteer firefighter and Adrian Leyva and Alexander Leyva 16 and 14 were also found I guess executed is the word

00:32:53 Speaker_01
Funny story, Eddie. Yeah, well, it's not a funny story. I just feel like we have to, we talk about all family annihilations here on the show. We do, and there's been a bunch of them. You notice that they come in waves.

00:33:02 Speaker_01
And also was a 16 year old recently that we talked about that was in Seattle that killed his family. They come in waves. Right outside of Seattle. And family annihilation also skyrockets during the holidays. Wonder why? Yes.

00:33:13 Speaker_01
But he was brought to the hospital until he sobered up and now is booked in Albuquerque's Juvenile Justice Center. More information is coming. Well, they immediately put him juvenile, I guess. For 16, 16's kind of on the edge.

00:33:27 Speaker_01
I mean, well, 18's the limit. But normally 16, sometimes it'll pop you right into adult jail. If you kill a lot of people. If you kill your family. Yeah, yeah, that puts you right in. But, I mean, what, is that really going to make life better?

00:33:37 Speaker_01
Like, if you put this, like, 16-year-old into fucking gen pop? No, it just makes him a worse criminal eventually. I mean, eventually, yeah, you just, I mean, well, he's never getting out. No. No, he's never getting out.

00:33:47 Speaker_01
By the way, Missouri, almost out of people to execute. Isn't that nice? Whoa, we're getting to the bottom. Yeah, yeah, there's only eight people left on death row in Missouri.

00:33:56 Speaker_01
You know, I feel like this might be controversial, but just get all the last of them in one go. Nah. Just blow them up. You know what I mean? Just because it might be controversial, I don't know. Is that controversial?

00:34:07 Speaker_02
You know, it might be a hair.

00:34:15 Speaker_01
I'm feeling evil today. Yeah, apparently. I don't believe in the death penalty, and y'all know that. Yes, no, of course. Y'all know that. The only people that should be killed are audiences. Yeah, once everyone released. No laws. Chaos reigns. Yes.

00:34:28 Speaker_01
Everybody. Rule of strength. Rule of wits. How is your new Antifa leadership going? Honestly, it's been really hard getting these guys together because you know what it is about these Zoomers is they don't show up on time. Yeah.

00:34:43 Speaker_01
And there's just a revolution has just been difficult to get started. I joined Uncle Tifa. Oh, wow. Good. We go after a bunch of nephews together. All right, this story. I want to talk about this story. This is pretty fucking, this is frightening.

00:35:01 Speaker_01
This is the guy waiting. Oh, the Nebraska one? Yeah, this is weird. All right, yeah, this is really cool. I actually have this one up too right now, because this is, it blew my mind. This is very strange. So this is Bennington, Nebraska.

00:35:13 Speaker_01
This is a weird mystery that's happening. It's happening involving multiple drivers involved in three separate crashes on Highway 36 in Bennington say the same man was the first person to arrive at the crash site and offer help.

00:35:30 Speaker_01
So all of these strangers, all of the crashes involved the vehicles hitting an object that was put in the middle of the roadway, or that was just in the roadway. Like a child's bicycle was one of them.

00:35:39 Speaker_01
Yes, and now we're wondering if they were put there on purpose. So this guy, Garrison Beach, he was cresting a hill while driving on Highway 36. He was in the dark. He swerved to avoid what looks like a large piece of metal.

00:35:52 Speaker_01
The middle of the roadway, and so what he did was he swung and he to over corrected Getting around it and his car went off the fucking bridge into a ravine.

00:36:01 Speaker_01
They were thankfully okay Yeah, but he said that he notices they drove past the bridge there was a man right before the bridge sitting in a car With no headlights on and as they got up looking for help he looked up, and he saw the headlights turn on and

00:36:14 Speaker_01
And this guy gets out, and he says, hey, you guys need any help? I called the paramedics. I called the paramedics. You guys need any help? You want to come wait in my car? And that was the thing. He said, come up in my car. Come in my car.

00:36:26 Speaker_01
Come up in my car. Don't you want to come in my car? Right? It's cold out. It's cold. Yeah. It's cold, shivering, covered in blood. I got napkins. Want to come in my car? And so they said, no, no thanks.

00:36:37 Speaker_01
And he just apparently went like, all right, and went back to his car. And then drove off. Yes. No, he, yes, he did drove off. Yeah. Right. And so startles they, what happened, right? So the next thing that happened was that a guy, Kyle Sorensen,

00:36:52 Speaker_01
He hits a bike, the middle left, in the center, the same highway. As I look at my rearview mirror, this is according to Kyle Sorensen, I saw someone just sitting there, just north of Pawnee Road.

00:37:04 Speaker_01
They pulled up behind me, and it was this individual saying he was checking to make sure I was OK. Seeing little damage to his vehicle, Kyle left.

00:37:12 Speaker_01
But later, near the same place, along the highway, his wife spotted the same man behind another car that was just leaking oil on the side of the highway.

00:37:23 Speaker_01
In two weeks, according to Sorenson, this has been three incidents where he was immediately the first person on the scene. It seems strange. Now, the one thing that comes to my mind is, remember the movie Crash? He must be shady as fuck. Yes.

00:37:35 Speaker_01
It's like all three times, people in dire need crash in a ravine. And they're like, no thanks. Yeah, we're good. Thank you. I'll stay in the cold. No, thank you. Not like Nebraska's warm. No, it's got like gray. It's long legs.

00:37:46 Speaker_01
It's just the guy going like, hi! Hello! Would you like to rent my car? Yeah, it's nice. I got my cats in there. You know, like, cuckoo. Yeah. You know, actually, we're good. I actually am. I like it out here where this object is burning. My car's so warm!

00:38:01 Speaker_01
Yeah, I bet it is. No, I like the snow in my blood. Would you like to taste my knife? No, you know what? Honestly, normally I totally would. There's chocolate on my knife. Sorry, no, honestly, I'm totally busy. You should taste it. It's special chocolate.

00:38:14 Speaker_01
Listen, I'm late to my KKK meeting. I can't do this. Get away from me, sir, but like these guys are I don't know what this is a very creepy It's just creepy because right now we don't know what it is, but you've ever seen the movie crash.

00:38:28 Speaker_01
Yes, but David Cronenberg off Oh, no, no, no, no, that's awful race matters when the one About people that get into car crashes on purpose to have sexual gratification. They fuck each other. I've heard of it. I've never watched it It's weird.

00:38:40 Speaker_01
Yeah, you'd like it Okay, sure. Do you like David Cronenberg? I love David Cronenberg. Then you'd like it. It's a bit, it's fucking dark, it's very fucked up. You know what's really good is the book. Is that Lance Hendrickson? Is that Lance Henriksen?

00:38:53 Speaker_01
I don't know. If it is, I'm in. Yeah, it might be. Yeah, he's sucking on her wound or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Different strokes. And so I wonder if that, could he be sexually attracted to cars? Could he be looking for broken parts from a car?

00:39:08 Speaker_01
Could they be like trying to go get help and he's trying to steal parts from the car? Or is he a rampant murderer? Serial killer. I don't know. Could be anything. That's just fun. He seems like an aspiring murderer. Maybe he just likes crashes.

00:39:21 Speaker_01
He has a plan. He could be just kind of like... Or if he just wants to be a hero. Those guys? Yeah, there's plenty of those people. Remember the firefighters that lit the Gatlinburg fire forever ago? That's right.

00:39:33 Speaker_01
Because they wanted to look like the heroes that put it out, but they just burnt down the whole side of the mountain. I wonder if that's what happened with Dick Van Dyke. Someone tried to kill him in Malibu. Someone tried to kill Dick Van Dyke?

00:39:42 Speaker_01
Well, they said his house got- there was a Malibu fire, so he almost died. Oh, no one's trying to kill Dick Van Dyke. We don't know what he's done. Also, by the way, if a chimney sweep can't get out of this thing, I don't know who can.

00:39:53 Speaker_01
Dude, I saw the video, and I was just like, um, uh, I thought you'd chim-chimney your way out of here. I guess magic isn't real.

00:40:01 Speaker_01
I guess no he didn't all right so we got all right these are these stories so nobody we don't know what's gonna happen we're obviously maybe we'll get an update on these but this is a very it's just strange and if you do listen and you are the person stop putting shit in the road side stories lpotlgmail.com I got a bunch of ideas of what you could put in the road though yes what would you put in the road weed

00:40:23 Speaker_01
Oh man, you can't waste that shit, man. You can't waste that shit, man. That's God's gift. That's Jah, dude. I can't fucking give that up, dog. I was watching a bunch of stuff on Rastas the other day. Oh, I love them. They're very interesting.

00:40:36 Speaker_01
Have you ever met them? They were very surprisingly violent. They're very intense. Very intense. There's one guy, he's been working on his lock his whole life.

00:40:46 Speaker_01
But that weed that they're smoking in some of those Rasta communities, I feel like he would hospitalize me. Well, like it's tar, right? Is it good weed? SidestoriesLPOTL at gmail.com. Do Rastafarians smoke the best weed? No. I'm gonna say no.

00:41:00 Speaker_01
I will find out. I think that they smoke, what, Jamaican Red. I also did not know that Rastafarianism was actually quite new. Yes, so was Jamaica. Yeah. Well, wow. Yeah. I learned a lot of stuff. As a country, the land has always existed.

00:41:17 Speaker_01
At least for a couple billion years. Thank you, Mr. Scientist. No problem. Thank you. Oh, how far back do we have to go? No problem. Mr. Doctor Asshole. Mr. Geologist. Alright, you don't want your geologist friend yelling at us again. No, Ellie, I'm sorry.

00:41:35 Speaker_01
All right, do you want to then talk about this next one? I don't know which one you're pointing at because I got the couple who was divorced 12 times. I got the whole one. Oh, I love the whole. Let's do whole. Let's just look at this real quick.

00:41:46 Speaker_01
We got a double up whole story. For those of you who love using your two wholes, today the whole business is good. So, if the whole business is catching people, then business is definitely booming. Oh, yes. Tell us about your person catching a hole.

00:42:07 Speaker_01
So, two-year-old fell into a septic tank. Oh. Now, two-year-old fell into a deep daycare drain, trapped inside for an hour while teachers signed her out of class. I hate when kids are always playing Shawshank.

00:42:18 Speaker_01
Came out through a river, came out clean on the other side. Now, according to the lawsuit, this girl, identified only as AB, is a student at Children's Lighthouse Daycare in Prosper. This is a suburb of Dallas.

00:42:35 Speaker_01
I looked up Children's Lighthouse, and they keep comparing themselves to Montessori schools, right? Like, I guess it was a Montessori school.

00:42:41 Speaker_01
And it says here, like, you know, but one of the things it says, you know, it says, what Lighthouse has is a modern curriculum design based on current brain research versus the Montessori approach, which is approach from 1906.

00:42:52 Speaker_01
to educate orphan children developing domestic skills and then according here the lighthouse pathways what they have is a 15-foot shit-filled hole A Montessori doesn't. Oh, see, I think they put the sorry in Montessori.

00:43:07 Speaker_01
Sorry we dropped your kid in a puddle of shit. This is not a Montessori. Montessoris are actually innocent in this. They're innocent. Yes, yes. They put lids on their shitholes. They do.

00:43:17 Speaker_01
So on the afternoon of November 1st, the girl was out on the playground with the other children. She fell into a hole. The cover, which said, danger do not enter, fatal poison gas. But two years old, can't read. Can't wait. Sorry. Yeah. Sorry about that.

00:43:33 Speaker_01
I guess he needed adults to do that for her. Yeah. So the cover said, do not enter fatal poison gas. It flipped anything that might've been flipped over or was replaced. Someone getting huffed. But someone put a cap right on top of where the child was.

00:43:47 Speaker_01
Now, defendants were responsible for ensuring the premises were safe, especially knowing full well that children's ages two to six were present and active on the premises.

00:43:55 Speaker_01
And at some point, about 4 p.m., the teacher took the children inside and unknowingly left A.B. inside the cover hole to quote-unquote, fend for herself.

00:44:05 Speaker_01
Now, he checked her out of the, I guess now in school, what they do is, which I did not know, what a sad state we're in, which is,

00:44:15 Speaker_01
at the beginning of every class, I believe, now they have to online click in their attendance, and that if you don't make a class, it then sends a notification to your parents. So what it'll do is that they click you in automatically.

00:44:29 Speaker_01
And so their parents got a message saying the girl had been checked out of the room in the middle of the day, and her father said, what was going on? Why wasn't she in there?

00:44:35 Speaker_01
And some person, not named, answered the phone, they believe, they think it was the owner, Angela Wolf, and she said, oh, that was a glitch. Kid's definitely here. Gotta be here.

00:44:47 Speaker_01
And so the father had his wife head to the daycare to check on his daughter and that's when they realized she was nowhere to be seen.

00:44:54 Speaker_01
And that's when they found her in what they're called a big, watery, swampy mess of fecal matter and all other kinds of things. She'd fallen into what they called a drain next to the splash pad, but the lawyers say it's a septic tank. Yeah.

00:45:10 Speaker_01
And so she was flopping around in there, she was cold to the touch, shivering, her lips were blue, her fingernails were blue. Poor girl.

00:45:17 Speaker_01
Which is not, no one likes that, no one wants to turn into Veruca Salt, and the hole was filled with dirty, cold water. But, she said, the Tinker employees were like, hey, she was only in there for five or ten minutes. Okay.

00:45:28 Speaker_01
That's what they were trying to say. We're like, hey, yeah, she was in the septic tank. Five minutes, right? Anybody can do it. I'll go in the septic tank for five minutes, right? How much is this gonna cost us?

00:45:41 Speaker_01
Further investigation revealed the girl was trapped for probably closer to an hour. Yes, and another student told the teacher responsible.

00:45:49 Speaker_01
Oh yes, and the teacher just straight up took another child's word for it when her friend said her father had came and picked her up. Wow. Because the kid didn't know. And they said you could hear her screaming coming from the pipe.

00:46:01 Speaker_01
But we should be so lucky. Because at least this little girl was found an hour later. Yes. Because she's not dookie. They realized she wasn't a dookie. This school's going to be over. Oh, yeah. No, I mean, it's not even a school. It's a daycare.

00:46:17 Speaker_01
Yeah, it's Texas, so they don't care. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we'll see. But she is technically the lucky one. Yes, because in Calgary, a man spent three days stuck in a well. Stuck in a well. Fell down a well. And why, Eddie, why was he stuck in this well?

00:46:35 Speaker_01
22 year old man stuck at the bottom of a 12 meter deep well. 36 feet. That's a big ol' well. And he's down there and he's screaming, help, help, I'm stuck in the well. Get me out of the well.

00:46:51 Speaker_01
And you know why people didn't help him even though they heard it?

00:46:55 Speaker_02
They thought he was a ghost.

00:46:58 Speaker_03
Don't fucking go anywhere near there man. All right, don't go to that hole man That's fucking you know that shit is dude ghosts are always trying to yell you into a hole man Don't fucking go anywhere. No, you know, it's ghost. The only one is company

00:47:17 Speaker_03
That's all they want to do. They just want roommates, man.

00:47:19 Speaker_01
Liu Chunyi, a young Chinese national, was doing the forest on the border between Thailand and Myanmar. Oh, so this wasn't in Calgary. It was just coming from a Calgary news site.

00:47:34 Speaker_01
But between Thailand and Myanmar, somehow fell into an abandoned well on the outskirts of a small village. They said he was trekking through the woods when he fell into the 12 meter deep whole, sustaining serious injuries. I'm not a ghost!

00:47:52 Speaker_01
A fractured wrist, a cerebral concussion, and he started to yell for help as loudly as he could, but hours passed, days passed.

00:48:00 Speaker_01
Oh yeah, and he said he was running out of energy, and he said he was like, I need to conserve my energy, so he was like, once an hour. I'll yell for help." And so he waits, and then it was like once every five hours.

00:48:11 Speaker_01
And he's like, I'll yell for help now. Meanwhile, like, all his help started to- Nearby villagers stayed away because they were afraid of being attacked by spirits. Now, imagine if instead, like- You get out and that's the reason?

00:48:25 Speaker_01
You're like, everyone fucking heard me? Oh yeah, dude, and first they're gonna be like,

00:48:32 Speaker_03
Oh my God, that's the most solid ghost I've ever seen.

00:48:35 Speaker_01
Let's shoot it in the head. You would be excited to see a ghost. Of course. Oh, hey there ghost. I'd say hello to the ghost. And then he's not a ghost, but it's also like, what if they just started filling it in? Oh no. I'm not a ghost.

00:48:50 Speaker_01
Oh, that's what a ghost would say. It only took 30 minutes for him to get out of the well, but he was very emancipated. Emaciated. He was emancipated from the well. Yes, yes. Yes, but three days without food and water.

00:49:07 Speaker_02
Shitting well if there's no water, by the way.

00:49:09 Speaker_01
So absolutely, and that's a really good way. Now what's nice about the mother of that child is what they can do from then on. The one that got caught in the septic tank. You can be like, well, some people in Thailand get caught in a well for three days.

00:49:21 Speaker_01
Yeah, you were just in a pile of shit for an hour. I've just been around my mom for so long, because that's how you turn a tragedy into somebody has done something wrong. It's called a New York mother's mindset.

00:49:33 Speaker_03
Oh, well, I'll show you. Oh, well, mister fell in a well.

00:49:38 Speaker_01
Oh, I was in a well for seven days. And I had nothing. I didn't have my blood pressure medication. I didn't have my embroidery.

00:49:47 Speaker_03
What did you do?

00:49:48 Speaker_01
I was raped by a mayor. He's in charge. What am I supposed to do, huh? Oh, mister, I was in a well for an hour. I don't know why that made me laugh. Alright, a couple who was married and divorced 12 times in 43 years are investigated for fraud.

00:50:14 Speaker_01
they found. This is love. This is true love and this Austrian couple found a crazy ass loophole to, I don't know how much I agree or disagree with this, let's talk about it. Yeah, what is the All right, so Vienna, Austria.

00:50:32 Speaker_01
These people were divorced 12 times in a period of 43 years. The truth is the elderly couple is suspected of having arranged every divorce strictly on paper so the wife could receive 27,000 euros severance pay.

00:50:48 Speaker_01
She was awarded after her first husband's death in 1981. See, in Austria, if your husband dies and you're a widow, they give you a payout every three years.

00:51:00 Speaker_02
It's like a nice thing.

00:51:01 Speaker_01
Yeah, it's nice. It's called the liberal country. Yeah, yeah.

00:51:05 Speaker_01
But when she got married again, every time that this three years was about to come up, her and her husband, who everyone knew and loved and knew them as a couple, they would secretly get divorced on paper, collect the money, and then get remarried right afterwards.

00:51:22 Speaker_01
Honestly, this is... So romantic. Yes, that like it's just you not only it's so nice because you get the fucking oh, what's this?

00:51:30 Speaker_01
But you get them other weddings you get to do it and you're celebrating your love This must be like also think about as a marriage.

00:51:36 Speaker_01
It's like all of my other marriages out there You're trying to kind of figure out right like yeah, what do we do together? sometimes like wasn't we could do together and like insurance fraud Yeah. That's a lot of work.

00:51:48 Speaker_01
I mean, this is why 13 is an unlucky number, because this is how many times I had to do it until they finally got caught. Well, they're both old now, too, right? Oh, yeah. No, absolutely. They're really going to arrest these guys.

00:52:00 Speaker_01
They already made a whole career out of it. They are figuring it out, but it seems to me like what they did was legal. Well, yeah, it's a loophole. It's a loophole, but it's like getting fucked in your butt so you can keep your pussy virginity.

00:52:15 Speaker_01
Yes, I guess. Yeah, Henry, it's exactly the same, but they. No, but yeah, so they're trying to charge him with fraud and they are in trouble, but in my opinion, it's not fraud. Now they're changing the laws so you can't do this anymore.

00:52:33 Speaker_01
That's the thing. That's the reason why they have the warnings and the changes that they do. You know what I mean?

00:52:39 Speaker_01
Like that's why every single, like how many stupid, how many stupid warnings you see, like you see on a hairdryer or just don't use in bath. You know what I mean?

00:52:47 Speaker_01
It's because it's happened so many times that people died doing something stupid that eventually you have to do it. Like, these are why there are loopholes. Yeah. And then they got to try to get them.

00:52:57 Speaker_01
Well, the investigation revealing that what their case is, they're saying they never moved. They always shared the same household, cooked together and even shared the same bed the whole time. And they have proof of it.

00:53:10 Speaker_01
So they're saying that they never actually got divorced. That's so... It's cute. It's very cute. That's true. Love, can you imagine that? Because also, it's kind of sexy, right? You just got fake divorced from your wife who you're still in love with.

00:53:24 Speaker_01
I mean, it's really not that much money. It's $10,000 a year. It's good money. To be paid to love. Yeah. That's enough. Think about that. Think how sexy that is. It's a nice little bonus.

00:53:36 Speaker_01
You're fake divorced for a little while, and then you can kind of cheat on each other with each other. And then you can kind of do the thing where like, ooh, well I'm single, or like, ooh, we're divorced, we shouldn't do this.

00:53:46 Speaker_01
Like, that's fucking awesome, right? That's hot. And they must look like little sausages. They're from Vienna. $341,000 in severance payments over 43 years. You know, it's just government money. It was going to be spent anyway. Yeah. Right.

00:54:00 Speaker_01
I mean, I don't really see the victim here. I don't know where the victim is. That's the reason why I'm saying it so lightly. I mean, well, the victim is the government system that this nice system that they put in place to help people.

00:54:11 Speaker_01
But it's why we can't have nice things. Yeah. But the thing is, you know, when I look at this, like when I look at people like, oh, their welfare, they're taking advantage of the welfare. It's like, yes, there are people who take advantage of it.

00:54:23 Speaker_01
But that number is so small. Yes. We're going to take away for everybody now. Also, the money was already gone. It's already gone, it's already spent. If you can figure out a way to get free money from the government, I applaud you.

00:54:36 Speaker_04
Yes.

00:54:37 Speaker_01
Because it is one of those, it's difficult to do. A lot of times, it's its own job. Yes. So, their 12th divorce was not recognized by the Austrian authorities and the couple will face the accusations together.

00:54:49 Speaker_01
Well, that again, and is there anything hotter than that?

00:54:53 Speaker_01
having to go to court together and they should be kissing and making that's what I would do be like the new Bonnie and Clyde oh yeah and then go in there and they just for like she'll flash the police and be like you're only seeing these one time and then like he comes out and he's like that's my wife and they have to fight they have to fight to

00:55:09 Speaker_01
They keep each other apart in court. Every single time they're always making out. Every time they can, they run to each other. The police have to stop them, pull them apart as they're making out with each other, being like, I'll always love you.

00:55:19 Speaker_01
I've divorced you 12 times and I'll divorce you again. You're Hitler's niece. I know who you are.

00:55:28 Speaker_01
This article comes to us from oddity central wonderful website and then below the article is this It's just a big pregnant dog why do they have that at the bottom of this article? I think it's time for some listener email oh

00:55:54 Speaker_01
We have the listeners email us. I do too. Now this one I love because I talked about this. I paraphrased this but I want to show people that this is real. Okay. I got this email.

00:56:06 Speaker_01
I wanted to share what we have had to have an impromptu school assembly about. For context, I am an art teacher at an elementary school somewhere in Ohio. Recently, 3rd graders were caught playing Diddy Tag.

00:56:20 Speaker_01
Diddy Tag is like normal tag, except you have to hump the tagger to get untagged. This was the breaking point for our overworked principal to call in all of second to fifth grade into the gym to subsequently ban all things related to P. Diddy.

00:56:41 Speaker_01
Before this, students would casually say, no Diddy, in response to things they considered sus. There would be free Diddy chants, references to freak offs and baby oil, and so many more.

00:56:54 Speaker_01
It was honestly scary how much these kids knew in reference to Sean Combs, Thankfully the Diddy references have subsided, but I can only imagine what the new thing will be when we are back from winter break Kids are Kids are unbeaten.

00:57:10 Speaker_01
Oh, yeah, I mean they are undefeated kids just fucking mo problems. Tell me about a friend Fucking tell me about it. I don't know where to park my Bentley on top of my other Bentley come on

00:57:22 Speaker_02
What am I? I got all day to think about where I'm parking my nine-bit lease.

00:57:28 Speaker_01
Henry, use your dental dam, please. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was going ... Helps you calm down. This is why you have to check out the videos on YouTube. You really do, because you don't know what I'm doing. All the way.

00:57:43 Speaker_01
The dental dam's going to be your new pan flute. I love my dental dam, man. Anytime I feel it coming on. It's going to come and you're going to be chewing on it. Six or seven of these this morning Marcus has got his pile of chewed up nicotine gun.

00:58:00 Speaker_01
I saw him take a chewed. He had a piece in his mouth He took one out. He had a pre-chewed one on the back You don't have to reach you the gum just like there's some more in there There's more in the pack. There's more in the pack too. You do it.

00:58:17 Speaker_01
You get between him and his gum. I'm not getting between him and his gum. I'm saying just don't chew the gum that's already chewed. I dare you to try to keep the gum from his mouth.

00:58:29 Speaker_01
I mean, I think I can't really speak to him because you know that half my family is chewish. I'll allow it. That's funny. All right, one more listener email. One more listener email. I've been debating on sending this email for a few years now.

00:58:50 Speaker_01
The first ever episode of Last Podcast that blessed my ears was episode 426, The Dangerous UFOs of Brazil, and I immediately felt right at home. Oh, when they would straight up attack people. Yes. Yeah.

00:59:01 Speaker_01
But to get to the point, to not make a long story short, I saw some weird shit in the sky. This is around 2014 in butt-fucking Egypt, southern Indiana. That's two different places. BFE, you know.

00:59:18 Speaker_01
I was 1920 and stole- How do you think Egypt feels about the fact that everyone says they're butt-fucking? I think that, hopefully they're blissfully unaware, but if you do tell them, they will ask you for $100. Excuse me, is this butt-fucking Egypt?

00:59:35 Speaker_01
Actually, yes.

00:59:36 Speaker_03
Welcome to Bat-Fu-King. Ah, yes. The home of my grandfathers, Bat-Fu-King. The most distant part of Egypt. This is my friend, King Butt. Yes. I was born with two asses. At least that's what I said, because I'm a lady!

00:59:55 Speaker_01
All right, so this is, I don't know. Sorry, I'm sorry. You did this to me. I was 19 and 20 and I stole about five Miller lights out of my dad's fridge and headed to a friend's house to be young and dumb. Absolutely.

01:00:07 Speaker_01
She happened to live quite far away from me, right out of town. So I was on a rural highway on my way to some crusty back roads. There's nothing there.

01:00:15 Speaker_01
And the one business that was probably more than five miles, but less than 10 miles away from her house was a log yard. That helps you picture the nothingness that is this area where this happened.

01:00:24 Speaker_01
Speaking of butt-fucking Egypt, going to the log yard. Tell me about it. You just left the log yard in the fucking downstairs shitting bathroom. That's our solids bathroom. Yes.

01:00:34 Speaker_01
I was probably a good 10 minutes away from her house and speeding so that my beers wouldn't get warm, and yes, I was sober.

01:00:42 Speaker_03
But he is- Excuse me, officer. My beers are getting warm.

01:00:44 Speaker_01
Listen, I'm sober as hell. Don't you want me drunk? There was an older truck that I got caught up with and they were driving at an excruciatingly slow pace.

01:00:54 Speaker_01
After I got maybe a little too close, they started to speed up dramatically, so I sped up as well, and as soon as the next curve in the road approached, I noticed a light in the air.

01:01:03 Speaker_01
At first I thought it was a street light, it was close to that level, and thought that was strange considering there were none on this particular stretch of road. But then immediately, when I looked right at it,

01:01:13 Speaker_01
There were four lights, horizontally, on one object that appeared to just be hovering above a tree.

01:01:19 Speaker_01
I immediately slammed on my brakes, the truck in front of me swerved but kept going, and I just sat in the middle of the road, unable to move or think or breathe.

01:01:28 Speaker_01
There were no sounds or movements, and I was paralyzed for what seemed like an eternity. Classic no-thought, head-empty moment. While in this state, still not comprehending what I see, the object, I now figured out what they mean by cigar shape.

01:01:40 Speaker_01
Move from a horizontal position to a completely vertical one. No movement forward or backward or up or down, and still no sound. It stayed like that for a moment, then started to move forward, along a tree line, still completely vertical.

01:01:53 Speaker_01
This is a very wooded area, it would have to be only a few feet above the trees. It disappeared! So I drove up to the point where I would have been directly under it to try to see where it had gone, but there was nothing. No movement in sight.

01:02:05 Speaker_01
I waited and kept inching forward to see if I could see it anywhere, and after a few minutes and realizing how identified this thing really was, I drove away quickly.

01:02:13 Speaker_01
I started shaking and crying, full on hyperventilated to the point where I had to pull over. I called my friend who was on my way to see and I choked out the experience through sobs. She screamed, no, don't tell me that shit.

01:02:24 Speaker_01
I just saw a military plane fly over the house five minutes ago. And then she made me promise not to talk about it. She was equally spooked and I always got the vibe she saw more than a military plane. I told my dad the next day and he laughed at me.

01:02:36 Speaker_01
I have always been on the fence about telling other people because them genuinely think that you're crazy, which maybe I am, but not that kind of crazy. They're saying that they were terrified, right?

01:02:45 Speaker_01
I spoke to a friend who's an engineer and he said it might be just a drone.

01:02:49 Speaker_01
So I researched as much as I could about drones and types of drones, military planes and drones, and I couldn't find anything even remotely resembling what I saw, along with the fact that there was absolutely no sound.

01:02:59 Speaker_01
That made me feel sure that I definitely saw something I wasn't supposed to see. Whether it was advanced top secret military technology or extraterrestrials, it wasn't meant for me to see.

01:03:09 Speaker_01
And one of the most perplexing things about it to me, which is why was it in this area? The few people who live close by are a mix of simple country folks and weirdos who do meth. There are really very few small little farms, but nothing else at all.

01:03:23 Speaker_01
With everything going on currently, it kind of feels like validation to me, and I wanted to share my experience. I do believe, and that's what they say here, and I like the sentiment they end with.

01:03:32 Speaker_01
Whatever theory you believe, there's just so much that we don't know, and it really feels like something is happening right now where we may just find out some of those things.

01:03:39 Speaker_01
I really hope we do, but that fear, unsettling feeling of not knowing what is out there.

01:03:45 Speaker_01
is very haunting which is why we're at where we're at is that again it's not the it's aliens they're coming to kill us or it's iranians coming to kill us or russians coming to kill i mean it's not chinese people coming to kill us it's more of the it's the non-answer in the vacuum that it leads and what does that lead and that leads to people conjecturing and getting scared and at this point they are just too much of the government meaning they are pussies and they don't want to

01:04:10 Speaker_01
Put they want to make it solid they don't want to make it solid and they won't They know what they have to know what it is.

01:04:15 Speaker_01
I just heads into if we're just heading into a phantom zone and everybody Yeah, just know that where we're not gonna know a heck of a lot of what is real and what is not real do old UFO sightings still matter Yes. Yeah? Yeah, I do. I think so. Yes. Yeah?

01:04:28 Speaker_01
You think so? I think that whatever we're looking at is, it's all, it's mysterious. And it's everything. It's all of it. Every single bit of it. And you have still seen nothing. Zero. Personally. I've seen videos. You've seen videos. You've seen them.

01:04:43 Speaker_01
I've seen the videos that you see. Yeah. So I live every day knowing that one day I will see something. And when I do, I will not, I'm not going to say anything. Did you see the one? Because I'm going to love holding my secrets to myself.

01:04:54 Speaker_01
I'm gonna love to know the fact that I know that aliens exist myself and no one else will and I'll laugh to myself every once in a while. I'll just laugh knowing that I know the truth and everybody else is sucking a big fat egg.

01:05:06 Speaker_01
Did you see the one with the orb shooting down the drone? I did. What do you think about that? Nothing, Eddie. It was nothing. Okay, cool. It must have been something stupid that we are stupid about. I love being stupid. Yep, you are.

01:05:17 Speaker_03
It's very helpful.

01:05:18 Speaker_01
I'm stupid too. Oh my god. And we don't know what it is, because you look at it, but I'll tell you what it's not. Something important, because we haven't heard about it. Amen. You know, and I think that's important to remember.

01:05:29 Speaker_01
Yeah, it hasn't killed anybody. It hasn't killed anybody, and that's the bar. That's the bar we set for the man that went to Uzbekistan, and we have to set that same bar for the government. At least they're not shooting us with it.

01:05:40 Speaker_01
Yeah, they might who knows but we don't know we're not there yet not there We will not die a thousand deaths until the day comes we die the one big death Oh, yeah getting one of those War of the Worlds nets underneath like the testicles like when they like remember when the big robots and War of the Worlds they had those scrotums and they like they held everyone in the scrotums and shit and all that stuff and they had to like cut out of it like it was we're all gonna be inside a

01:06:05 Speaker_01
of balls. Hell yeah, man. I fucking love that shit. Just go to patreon.com slash lastpodguessandleft and give us money while the world still exists. Oh yeah! Because money's not gonna matter for way too much longer, but we'll take it.

01:06:16 Speaker_01
And then you go to lastpodguessandleft.com, buy our live tickets, you are going to like our live show, it is fun as fuck. We are better than ever. Our live show is great. It's really, it's on fire right now. New York was nuts.

01:06:29 Speaker_01
Over 2,000 people came to that fucking show. That was crazy. It was wild. And Atlanta's going to be crazy. All the shows next year are going to be nuts. I'm excited to go to Dallas. I've never been to Dallas my whole life.

01:06:37 Speaker_01
I've never been to Atlanta my whole life. Deep Ellum is wonderful. We're going to eat at Kimball House. I also was, there was another one, another restaurant I got that just closed. Yeah. Which is pretty great.

01:06:47 Speaker_01
I can't, I'm going to whine and die on your ass.

01:06:50 Speaker_02
I can't wait, man. Yeah, I'm definitely going to go in early.

01:06:52 Speaker_01
Slap you in. Just so you can fucking feed me. Slap you out. We're going to go to Homegrown, man. Ever been to Homegrown? No, you haven't been to Atlanta. No, I've only- Homegrown is the best breakfast in the country.

01:07:01 Speaker_01
Only thing I did in Atlanta was cocaine during a Tom Petty concert. Well, we're not going to be doing any cocaine, Eddie. Certainly not at a Tom Petty concert.

01:07:09 Speaker_01
No, because we'd have to do that in heaven, which we will do, because that's when I'll do cocaine is in heaven. because I don't trust it here on earth because you know Jesus is holding that good shit. Thank you, Jesus. Don't make me constipated.

01:07:28 Speaker_01
Oh, and check out LPN Funhouse. Oh, yes. LPN Funhouse this weekend is going to be amazing. It's on Thursday. Twitch.tv slash LPNTV. I don't know what the fuck is going to happen. We're on it.

01:07:41 Speaker_01
No, we've agreed to be there and I'm very nervous to be honest with you. This is Holden and Jackie's baby. I ain't doing pain. No, I'm not doing pain. That's the only thing I'm not doing. I'm not getting shocked.

01:07:53 Speaker_01
Don't put me in a situation where I gotta look like a pussy and say no. Because I will look like a pussy and say no. Yeah, you are going to. Yeah. And we are going to break the improv rules. And I'm saying you're not going to shock me. Yeah.

01:08:06 Speaker_01
You're not going to hit me with that taser. Yeah. It's yes and until you don't have to anymore. But I'll do whatever else is in their crooked little minds. BLP and Funhaus is going to be a fucking blast. Come check it out.

01:08:18 Speaker_01
It is, I believe, what time is it? And we're not raising money for anybody, right? Nothing. Thank God. 5 p.m. PST. 5 p.m. PST. It starts on the Twitch and we are going to get it again. I think they might be giving away this charity.

01:08:31 Speaker_01
We're trying to figure out something. I don't know what we're doing because I don't know if we're making money on it. I think it's good to do something not for charity. Hey, good ol' money maker. We need. But hey, it'll go to your Christmas bonuses. Woo!

01:08:50 Speaker_01
Yeah, fuckers. Is that happening? You're giving away bonuses? Not you. Oh. Alright fuckers, see you in hell. Hail Satan, see you next week. See you after the break. Next week we'll be gone, but we'll be back. There'll be a show that comes out on Christmas.

01:09:06 Speaker_01
There'll be an episode. Yes. Oh yes, there will be an episode on Christmas, and then there will be an episode, and then we're coming back. So we'll be back. Yeah. Alright, so it's like we're not gone. Yeah, well we might be a day late.

01:09:17 Speaker_03
No.

01:09:17 Speaker_01
No.

01:09:19 Speaker_03
No! Okay. The day will arrive, and the show will come out,

01:09:28 Speaker_01
Hail Satan, everyone. Hail the aliens. Don't kill your family this Christmas. No! Please don't. And if you do, make sure it's an accident. Leave. Just leave. Yeah. Or go down with the ship. Really, like, spend some time with that lady first. Really.

01:09:44 Speaker_01
We're just almost out of this show without, like, fucking getting ourselves in trouble. So close. Yeah. Don't kill your family.