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Episode: Side Stories: Blaming Bears

Author: The Last Podcast Network
Duration: 00:50:13

Episode Shownotes

Henry & Eddie bring you this week's weirdest stories and true-crime news including an insurance scam gone wrong as 4 men are charged in a series of staged "Bear Costume" car break-ins, South Korean VR "helps" reunite mother with dead daughter, man caught smuggling 300+ spiders onto plane in Peru,

the Arkansas doctor charged with lewd conduct after nude workplace romp, and much, much, MORE! Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to ad-free new episodes and get exclusive access to bonus content.

Summary

In this episode of 'Side Stories: Blaming Bears' by The Last Podcast Network, hosts Henry and Eddie explore bizarre narratives, including a Californian insurance scam where men dressed as bears staged car break-ins, a South Korean VR project reuniting a mother with her deceased daughter, and a peculiar smuggling case involving exotic spiders. With humor and dark commentary, the hosts examine societal trends and absurdities, from playful discussions on wild antics to serious ethical concerns regarding technology in grief management.

Go to PodExtra AI's episode page (Side Stories: Blaming Bears) to play and view complete AI-processed content: summary, mindmap, topics, takeaways, transcript, keywords and highlights.

Full Transcript

00:00:01 Speaker_00
There's no place to escape to.

00:00:02 Speaker_02
This is the last hop. On the left. Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. Well I gotta say buddy, a little disappointed. You backed out of your stripper promise. No show the party and said no stripper is coming.

00:00:30 Speaker_02
We, Tootsie, still had a decent time. I saw, I saw the footage. I had to go outside, I shaved a cat. And she was fucking mad. She was like, what is this? No, I didn't mean to disappoint Tootsie.

00:00:44 Speaker_02
For those of you that don't know, last week we were discussing about how it was Tootsie's 17th birthday party. That's a dog. 119 dog years. Yes, it's a dog, by the way. It's not a little girl that we were talking about this for.

00:00:56 Speaker_02
Who would name their daughter Tootsie? A big old person with a metal rod sticking out of the side of their head. You never know. Voters.

00:01:07 Speaker_02
I had a but I wanted to I wanted to get a stripper and I did got I have my guy Dominic Dominic was like he's my nest he's like my neighborhood naked guy okay and he was gonna go do that and I was like talking with him about it and he was totally down he was totally chill but then the next thing you know he did commit suicide by police officer

00:01:28 Speaker_02
So he could not be there. Was he dressed as a stripper cop?

00:01:32 Speaker_02
Yes, unfortunately he was dressed as a sexy police officer and then he was pulled over for reckless driving because he was a sexy intoxicated police officer and then in his actions he was then murdered.

00:01:46 Speaker_00
By Internal Affairs?

00:01:48 Speaker_02
Yes, yes. Not by a normal street cop. No, it was just some other guy that didn't even want to deal with him. He was off duty. when he had to shoot him in the head. No, that's not true. I just fucked it up. I didn't do it, but I will say. Tootsie's mad.

00:02:01 Speaker_02
I know. I know. Tootsie's mad. I'll have to just wait six months before she's in the grave. That's unfair. It is unfair, but it's probably true. She's very sweet, and I love Tootsie. She's very sweet. I can't believe every day I'm like, is today the day?

00:02:14 Speaker_02
She is. It's her and Jimmy Carter. Yeah, yeah. Just continuing to live. I guess God forgot about me. God must have forgot I was here. She has outlived everything that she's ever come in contact with.

00:02:30 Speaker_02
Dude, she's like, she was from Barack Obama's presidency. Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah, no, it's truly unbelievable. It's amazing. But I did receive many emails that I thought were so funny. Do you know- So you even got- information from strippers?

00:02:48 Speaker_02
No one was local. Okay, no one was local. Yeah, you can't be flying them in. No, no, no, no. Not right now, okay? It's hard. It's called trafficking. There's a lot of conferences, a lot of real people really thinking about this. Only fuck local. That's it.

00:03:05 Speaker_02
That's it. Keep it. Side stories. This is Side Stories. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. I'm Henry Zabrowski. How you doing?

00:03:11 Speaker_02
But I got several emails from exotic dancers of the male persuasion that they said, not only is it not hyper unusual to be asked to dance for a dog, but several of them have already danced for dogs. Oh so we're not even original. No.

00:03:28 Speaker_02
They have walked into a room, they said largely did seem to be obviously an excuse for the women. Oh they didn't find out until they got there. Oh no, no no they rolled in. Several of them walked in. I feel like you gotta say it ahead of time.

00:03:39 Speaker_02
There's a dog in a chair in the center of a bunch of horned out cougars. And that dog is just sitting there and they're like, alright, it's Pepper's 9th birthday. You got a date for her.

00:03:52 Speaker_02
And then this man is just getting groped by a whole pack of women. Dog, no interest. You know why? Because he wasn't smuggling pepperonis. Well if you tie a treat to their penis, And then have that and see if he can keep it, make his dick bounce.

00:04:08 Speaker_02
You know how they do a trick where they get hard and they make their dick bounce? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we can tie a treat to that and then make it bounce like that. I mean, you could definitely get us some interest.

00:04:17 Speaker_02
I feel like on some way, that's gotta be demeaning to the dancer. Put some eyeballs on your balls. No. And so we can look it in the eyes.

00:04:22 Speaker_00
Like a snake? Like a funny caterpillar?

00:04:24 Speaker_02
Tootsie likes to look you in the eyes, see right through you. Tootsie creeps me out with that. And I do think that the dead-eyed stare that she would give to the stripper would have also creeped him out. Dance harder! You're getting no reaction.

00:04:38 Speaker_02
Dude, she doesn't like this! And then for a while I actually just was wondering whether or not she was a lesbian. Tragic Mike. That was the guy I hired originally. And now he's dead. But yes, happy birthday, Tootsie. I'm sorry that I was not there.

00:04:55 Speaker_02
I'm sorry, and I will, but it's not, I was just, I was fighting crime. Know what else you missed? I had a bunch of boys over to watch the Tyson-Paul fight.

00:05:07 Speaker_02
I went out, it was like, we did our show at SiriusXM, and then I walked over, it was great, I had dinner with Matt Cervito. Game drop! We, you know, you know me with my, my, my Hollywood connects. Yeah. Right. It was me, Matt Cervito, my wife.

00:05:24 Speaker_02
Hottest party you could possibly imagine. We went down to the fucking Formosa. They know me there. All I had to do was get a reservation and I walked right to my favorite table that they chose for us and we had a fantastic time.

00:05:38 Speaker_02
But as we were leaving, I looked and I saw someone else was watching the fight on their phone, and I watched last five minutes on their phone, and I was completely correct. Yeah. I called the whole thing. It was the fight we deserved. Oh I do believe.

00:05:55 Speaker_02
I was so excited. I was so ready to go. I wanted it so bad. You were very excited. I wanted to see Tyson fucking pummel this guy but no you can't fight at 58. Mike Tyson looked frightened of the people and Jake Paul looked tired and dumb.

00:06:12 Speaker_02
It was, from what I've seen, one of the worst bouts of athleticism since me getting out of a tub. It really is, like, he is the, like, what we could expect from sports for the next couple years.

00:06:25 Speaker_00
It is just like this. It is the future.

00:06:26 Speaker_02
It is just going to be stunts and garbage. unathletic people.

00:06:31 Speaker_02
There's a term that is used in technology that is a funny internet term but it's real and it's what we are all in the middle of right now and it's called inshittification and the term is a funny thing of why things are built to fall apart specifically why phones only last two years and laptops only last three years and your car constantly breaks down.

00:06:51 Speaker_02
They build them to fall apart and we're just doing that with people now. Yeah. You know and that's just what we we got going on and they're in charge. Yeah. I say, you know, but Tyson, you know, got 20 mil. He's good for the rest of his life now.

00:07:03 Speaker_02
Good for him. Because I was really worried about his money. I was really, really worried if he was out of money or not. And then Jake Paul is just another just fucking absolutely talentless nothing person.

00:07:15 Speaker_02
At the end of the fight afterwards when they're interviewing Jake Paul, he said that America is now in its moment of truth right after he had a fake boxing match. Yes, very much so. It's almost like

00:07:28 Speaker_02
People have lost the ability to be ironic and that satire is dead but not here Because we talk about only the most important topics like what are the most fuckable fish yes, and I'm not getting into this into a lot of detail because we got another pushback from the anti-bestiality crowd

00:07:52 Speaker_02
Because they get upset. They don't want to hear about bestiality anymore. It's just fish! It's fish. It's just fish.

00:08:00 Speaker_02
But I'm just gonna just quickly go through the fact that yes, the number one- But there is that, I will say, we had more people send in what type of fish they want to fuck than more people tell us not to talk about it.

00:08:12 Speaker_00
Not a single person-

00:08:13 Speaker_02
emailed us about our status, about like, you did do a little bit of kerfluffle by saying something about how Jesus was an Israeli, but you meant an Israelite or some opposite fucking thing, doesn't fucking matter. Doesn't matter, it's not real.

00:08:23 Speaker_02
We got less mail about that than we did about fish fucking. And the what fishes they would fuck, I mean it, three dozen. And so the number one, just for the sake of, for the brave, mostly men that emailed, I wanna say the number one fish is sturgeon.

00:08:44 Speaker_02
Yes. Yeah, two listeners voted for Sturgeon. And I get it, man. Because apparently they got inner teeth but you can bypass them by sticking your dick in it. And they're long. I guess they're super long.

00:08:55 Speaker_00
They're big.

00:08:56 Speaker_02
They're the size of a human sometimes. Fresh water, too. You don't even have to smell salty. I just don't think that the guys that are fucking the mouth of this, Sturgeon, have to worry about if their girth is going to exceed the mouth. Yes.

00:09:09 Speaker_02
Because I feel that it is mostly, oh wow, I hate his face. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's got lips. I'm looking at the... I forgot. That's why they want to fuck it. Yeah, because it has a mouth.

00:09:18 Speaker_02
I'm really... Because it actually has like... It sucks the bottom of the ocean... of the riverbed. Hey, and guess what? And they're good, man. Yeah, you're going to suck the pebbles off a coral, you come over here and give my fucking coral a shot.

00:09:29 Speaker_02
Oh my God. You know you can put sturgeon on bagels. It's very good. You could put liquid shit on bagels if you want. No. I'm just saying anything going in a bagel. Yum yum. Any single substance going in a bagel. Yeah. Kissing gourami was another one.

00:09:43 Speaker_02
It's little fishes that kiss each other. And they said main issue was stay away from large mouth bass because they would quite literally bite your penis off. Really? Yeah, because they got chompers. Big old chompers. Really?

00:09:56 Speaker_02
I've put my hand in a bass' mouth before. They wouldn't bite your penis off. It might scratch you up a little bit. When's the last time you did that? When I was a child. They got spines.

00:10:06 Speaker_02
The Fish Whisperer on YouTube, he shows them, he bleeds every single time he feeds one. A bass? Yeah. They got little nippers. I mean, you know, you just reach right in there and fucking grab it. This is with your fingers, Eddie.

00:10:18 Speaker_02
What about your pink penis? I wish it was still pink. Yeah, I know. Mine's kind of getting like gray. Oh, yeah, I know. It's turning into Eeyore down there. I don't know why. I don't know who did that. I'm going to lose it and not care.

00:10:30 Speaker_02
I don't know who asked us about this. I didn't answer about what color I wanted my penis to turn when I turned 40. And I should have been asked.

00:10:38 Speaker_02
And speaking of little bites, the Titanic, you said that the Titanic isn't going anywhere, another update, that's false because due to the bacterium, Halmonius titanicae, named after the boat, it's eating it. It's slowly but surely decaying rapidly.

00:10:53 Speaker_02
Oh, we should go down and check it out. Go ahead. You want to go on a little submarine adventure? It's a boat. We've all seen it. Alright, we've all seen it. James Cameron made it romantic again in a film.

00:11:02 Speaker_01
Yeah.

00:11:02 Speaker_02
We've seen it. I don't care about the Titanic. There are really nice cruise ships that are like still floating on top of the water. Totally operating. So I'm just going to go on those. I'm going to deal with those. I'm sick of it.

00:11:12 Speaker_02
I hate the stupid Titanic. It's stupid. And another update that was immediate, that was, Rob called it. We talked about last week in South Carolina, breakout of a series of like little test monkeys, capuchin monkeys. Um, what was the other one? A macaque.

00:11:28 Speaker_02
And they got out. It was like, they're still about 12 unaccounted for, but Almost like clockwork, Bigfoot sightings increased in the area just immediately.

00:11:39 Speaker_02
People were like, no idea that the news, they never looked up monkey escape, they didn't go look up anything. But the monkeys are small! It doesn't matter. People see rustling in the woods, they think Bigfoot because they don't have any imagination.

00:11:51 Speaker_02
They don't understand it could be a bunch of guys on the down low, six and nine in each other underneath a bunch of ferns. That's my first thought. Not that it's Bigfoot. I just assume it's two grown businessmen having sex with each other. No condoms.

00:12:08 Speaker_02
But they're hairy, like you. No, not necessarily. I think one would be hairy and one would be slippery like an eel. You know, go back and forth. I know sometimes Harry's on Harry, but I feel like Harry probably could use a slick boy. Right?

00:12:20 Speaker_02
SidestoriesLPOTL at gmail.com. Are you hairy and do you prefer a slick boy? And when two Harry's are together, do you have to make you both slick and hairy? Harry, also the name of the most famous Bigfoot. Harry and the Hendersons. Well, he wasn't real.

00:12:38 Speaker_02
Paddy is technically the most famous Bigfoot. That was according to the Patterson footage of the Bigfoot. That's what you would call him.

00:12:44 Speaker_03
But that's not real.

00:12:45 Speaker_02
That was real. Oh yeah? There's a musculature. Oh, okay. If you look at Paddy, this is right here, you see this is Paddy. She does have breasts. That's a man. The he has breasts. The man tits. Yeah. As they should be. But if you look at it, move.

00:13:01 Speaker_02
Can we show a video of it just so we can see it again? I've seen this video a million times. No, you haven't. Obviously not recently. I mean, Harry and the Hendersons was truly one of the great films of our generation.

00:13:12 Speaker_02
It was, but the Patterson-Gimlin film actually is. the actual first footage and most important footage of the Bigfoot. As you can see, there's musculature in the back. It's walking too easily. There's a lot of people that can walk easily.

00:13:25 Speaker_02
This is a younger Bigfoot. And you said people, by the way. Yes, but this is Bigfoot, and Bigfoot's between people and animal. Yeah, but this is too much. You can almost see the sneaker. No, you can't see the sneaker. That's a full food.

00:13:36 Speaker_02
There's musculature. No, man, that ain't no fuckin'- This has both been debunked and bunked. This has been bunked and debunked again and again.

00:13:44 Speaker_02
It's just like it's been debunked and then the guys said that they came out and they said they wore a suit but then they recanted and they said that never happened and now there are more and more people saying recently that the Patterson-Gimlin footage actually is pretty legit.

00:13:57 Speaker_02
It can't be! It's stabilized, look at that. Look how it's walking. No human can walk like that. All humans walk like that! Only the ones that look like Bigfoot. Yes! I just think it's fascinating. I'm just saying that's... That's the most famous Bigfoot.

00:14:14 Speaker_02
I don't know. I think Harry's more famous. SidestoriesLPOTL at gmail.com. Who's the better Bigfoot? Harry's definitely the better Bigfoot. Also, yeah, sure. Yeah, the more fun one. We haven't heard from Patty. We don't know if Patty's funny.

00:14:24 Speaker_02
No, Patty's a piece of shit. Yeah. You know, that I'll agree with. Yeah. Now, one thing I'll say about Roman sexuality that we covered a little bit. You know in Romans- How much do you think a Bigfoot vagina weighs? Like if you cut it out of her? Yeah.

00:14:40 Speaker_02
Like 8 pounds, 10 pounds? Bigfoot, how much does a bigfoot weigh? 600 pounds, 500 pounds? A cow is like 1,200, right? And so a bigfoot has to be like at least 500 pounds. They say 800 pounds. 800 pounds, that's a lot of meat. That's a lot of meat.

00:14:57 Speaker_02
That's a lot of meat. That's a lot of skeleton and that's meat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I don't know if pussy meat is normally the biggest factor in body weight. If it's 20 pounds, I'm going to say 20 pounds. 20 pounds, I think.

00:15:10 Speaker_02
If it's 800 pounds, I think 20 of it's pussy. You know what? I'd vote for it for president. Oh, absolutely. I'd vote for anybody at this point. I can't wait to vote next week. Oh, yeah, me too. Big election next week.

00:15:23 Speaker_02
If you're in line now at the polls, stay in line!

00:15:26 Speaker_01
Stay in line!

00:15:27 Speaker_02
They have to let you vote!

00:15:29 Speaker_01
They have to let you vote!

00:15:30 Speaker_02
They have to let you vote! That's so fucking stupid. So, Rico, so... This is a bit of a response. Another update on Roman sexuality. We talk about how gayness doesn't exist, but actually there was a form of it.

00:15:45 Speaker_02
They did say that apparently oral sex, even though we talked about people getting their dick sucked since the old days, in the Roman eras they viewed it disparagingly because they thought it made your breath bad. Really? They cared about breath?

00:15:59 Speaker_02
Oh yeah. They said it caused bad breath. They also said they don't really care about you having sex with a man as long as you're at the top. Because being a bottom is bad. Oh, because it's like a power thing.

00:16:09 Speaker_02
Yes, when most people were bottoms, it just wasn't really discussed. Okay. And the idea of it was considered gay to go down on a woman because you were penetrating the woman with your tongue. According to them. But I think that's wrong.

00:16:24 Speaker_02
I think it's super straight. Absolutely. Yeah, you like it so much you go down. Yeah, you get up in there. Yeah, it's not just for penises anymore. But that's why we change things. Right? That's why we flipped them. So those are the updates from today.

00:16:44 Speaker_02
There was a lot. There was a bunch I was saving for next week because next week we have a very special episode of Lost Podcast coming your way.

00:16:51 Speaker_02
So there's a bunch that I'm saving that I'm certain a lot of people are wondering why am I not covering the UAP congressional hearing and why am I not talking about George Knapp's new show and why am I not talking about the a lot of like... Your silence is deafening, Henry.

00:17:05 Speaker_02
Oh, I know. My silence is more deafening than a lot of people's noise. Absolutely. Just by my body noises itself. When I could just sit here. I make noises as I sit. I sound like a rice maker. You know, I sound like a tea kettle at all times.

00:17:19 Speaker_02
Just ready to go. But we are saving it for next week. Okay. I'm going to go into it a bit deeper. Alright. So people can understand. OK, good, good. Deeper as in the ocean? Yes. Because I learned about that this week. You're right. Yeah. Yes, yes.

00:17:34 Speaker_02
You've been watching George Knapp. He's been watching Investigate Aliens. I have been watching it. We're going to do it. We're going to be talking about it in depth next week. The Gulf of Mexico. That's her favorite place to relax.

00:17:44 Speaker_00
I mean it's a bathtub.

00:17:45 Speaker_02
No fucking, no waves. Of course.

00:17:47 Speaker_00
Yeah, it's chill.

00:17:49 Speaker_02
Oh yeah, also just so you know, the woman, the young lady, the Gersimron Cowor that was cooked to death in the Halifax Walmart was found, it was not murdered. Okay. I believe it was not suspicious. But no, nothing else on that. Nothing else on that.

00:18:02 Speaker_02
Nah, nah. Probably never again too. Nah. Never. Also, Andrew Zbrafik, our favorite guy. What happened? What's he doing? He is going up for parole for the second time, so now he's going in there. I think he's got a real shot. They love him.

00:18:15 Speaker_02
Oh, they love him, and they definitely, they're going to love the fact that he has shaved a Z into the side of his head, which is a new pro-fascist Russia symbol. The Z?

00:18:29 Speaker_02
The Z, which is two sevens next to each other because it's been 77 years since World War II. A Z is two sevens? That's what they do. That's a thing that they did. It's two sevens touching tips. Oh, okay. I see. I see. And so that's what they did.

00:18:42 Speaker_02
They make it a Z and it's apparently all over Russia right now.

00:18:44 Speaker_01
And 77 is what?

00:18:45 Speaker_02
It's 77 years since World War II ended. So we only got to deal with the Z thing for a year? I don't know. It doesn't matter. It's all fucking stupid. And he's a moron. He's not going anywhere. Have fun in jail, Anders Breivik. Yes.

00:18:59 Speaker_02
He's not even a good looker. He is having fun in jail. He, like, is having fun in jail. He sits in his fucking apartment. He plays his PS5. He's loving life. Fuck you. Go fuck yourself. I hope you have diarrhea today, Anders Breivik. And every day.

00:19:12 Speaker_02
Honestly, sometimes I like it, so. I do like it. Isn't that weird? Yeah. I wish I wasn't, you know, so into it. We're not going to talk about it, but I just like the time. People always go, I have diarrhea. And I'm like, you're welcome.

00:19:23 Speaker_02
I just like the time spent. Yeah. All right. So this is one of my favorite stories of this week. Now there's a lot of stuff zips up and around, but I think the one that is the most interesting to me is,

00:19:42 Speaker_02
people really think that you're going to get away with insurance fraud? Oh yeah. We've said this multiple times on the show. It is so difficult to get your money when you need it and when you deserve it legally.

00:19:59 Speaker_02
Why do you think that insurance fraud is going to be any easier It's not. Their detectives are better than the police detectives. They are looking actively. And this is one of the dumbest slash funniest versions of this that I've ever seen.

00:20:14 Speaker_02
Now this, four were arrested. Four were arrested in California car insurance scam. These morons decided to fake being a bear, fuck up their own car. and then try to use the footage of that to prove that a bear was in their car.

00:20:34 Speaker_02
Insurance agents weren't having it. Los Angeles area residents Ruman Tamrazian, Ararat Shurkananian, Vahim Merhad Kayanian, and Alfea Zuckerman.

00:20:47 Speaker_02
They were charged with insurance fraud, a conspiracy in connection to the reported scam from the Department of Insurance. Now they entered. How are four people involved in one insurance scam? Because you know what? I don't know.

00:20:59 Speaker_01
I don't really know. That's crazy.

00:21:01 Speaker_02
I think it's because one got the costume, one did like they all put together. And I guess it was multiple vehicles as well. And the footage that we're going to see and go over right now came from one of their Rolls Royce's ghosts, which is a nice car.

00:21:15 Speaker_02
Yeah. 2010 Rolls Royce. Yes. All it just shows like he bought it and he didn't have the money for it so now he's trying to figure out how to have it. Very much so.

00:21:23 Speaker_02
The suspects also provided video footage to the insurance company which showed the quote-unquote alleged bear in the vehicle.

00:21:29 Speaker_02
Now if you look at the stuff state biologists immediately determined it was clearly a human in a bear suit but we'll watch it and see what you think.

00:21:36 Speaker_02
The detectives found two more insurance claims with two different insurance companies from the suspects with the same date of loss in the same location.

00:21:42 Speaker_02
The each claim involved two vehicles, a 2015 Mercedes, a 2022 Mercedes, and suspects also allege used the bear costume to make it look like a bear also and entered and damaged those vehicles. Yeah, you gotta go after a Toyota, you know, or a Honda.

00:21:55 Speaker_02
That's why there was four guys. They thought that this was smart. They parked all four of their shitty cars in the same parking lot and then I guess drew straws to figure out who was gonna be the bear.

00:22:06 Speaker_02
They then bought a high-level bear costume and then they decided well like we'll just get them all in one go and to say that it was a bear serial car slashing which I've never heard of

00:22:20 Speaker_02
Before or since yeah, but I don't know maybe I'm wrong when I was in Gatlinburg staying overnight They they made sure that we locked the doors to our car because the bears break into the cars They know how to open that they know how to open the doors.

00:22:32 Speaker_02
Oh, yeah, they sleep And so let's just look at this footage. So this is the footage outside of the 2010 Rolls-Royce ghost This is that this is what they submitted to insurance to say look this it we we look at this bear I can't even believe it.

00:22:45 Speaker_02
I'm ready to believe I'll tell you that much Here we go. Oh, I see the light, the cabin light of the car turn on. Okay. You see a... I mean, so far I kind of believe it. So far, it's just a bear. You don't see it get in. Now it's in there.

00:23:00 Speaker_02
It is very much in the suit.

00:23:02 Speaker_01
Oh, now he's just turning around.

00:23:03 Speaker_02
Yeah, that is just, he's turning around. He'll get a bear fit into the car at this size. I would have some people, yeah, they did a good job, like, because of the roof, you know, it's blocking a good size of the camera.

00:23:15 Speaker_02
But you notice they're moving the camera.

00:23:17 Speaker_02
to try to catch it right so they're trying to catch this bear what do you even do he's just like inside yeah you gotta shake the car more yeah shake the car what is he even going for he's not doing anything he's just like he's turning the radio on and off he's just he's probably the most bear like of the

00:23:39 Speaker_02
And how insulting is that? And like, well, Arifia, you're fucking, you're the fat one. You're the fattest of all of us, Arifia.

00:23:46 Speaker_01
I don't know if I forget, but it sounds like it's really gonna do.

00:23:48 Speaker_02
Also, they didn't even fuck the car up that much. Look at how bad they- They barely fucked up the car. The claw marks on it are so stupid. They are so uniform. They were done literally almost to almost not fully ruin it.

00:24:01 Speaker_02
They just got, they wanted to get the fucking interior redone. Now this is the same, Look at Eddie, same camera. This is on the Mercedes. I don't understand, so they have to sit, they just switch cars?

00:24:15 Speaker_01
Yep, he parked a new car on the same spot and then they have this person obviously in a bear suit. Look at the way it's feeling, like it's just feeling around.

00:24:25 Speaker_02
Yeah, it's opening the glove department. You could tell, they're like, alright, now bear it up in there and he's like, what do you want me to do? What do you mean bear it up?

00:24:33 Speaker_01
There's honey in the trunk. Shoot your scat! Take a shit, shoot your scat! I don't know if my scat, I mean my scat is very much my scat, you know? I don't know if it's gonna look like people's scat.

00:24:45 Speaker_02
Scat in there! It's just warm. We've gotta rip up this shit more than this. It is so stupid. They are just lightly scratched. All of the walls, the interiors are lightly scratched.

00:24:56 Speaker_02
This is, how many, this is the second, is this the second week in a row or maybe third week in a row we've even brought up people framing bears? It keeps happening. What is going on here? What in the living fuck is going on?

00:25:07 Speaker_02
This fucking anti-bear world that we're trying to live in right now is fucked up, dude. I thought that bears were one of the ones that everybody loved. People like bears! People love bears. Lucas, next car. Same thing.

00:25:21 Speaker_02
Just the bear going in the fucking car. It's so stupid. So they are all probably going to go to jail. Let's call them a quartet of idiots. Or gonna go straight to jail. I wonder how much time they get. Can I tell you my favorite bear got killed?

00:25:43 Speaker_02
Did we talk about this on the show? I don't know. Yes.

00:25:46 Speaker_00
Yes, we did.

00:25:47 Speaker_02
I'm just still broken up about it. It's hard, man. Yeah, I'm still thinking about it. God, these assholes. This bear costume is so stupid.

00:25:53 Speaker_02
This is why great bears like $3.99 go down, is because of this anti-bear fucking rhetoric that's being passed on by these fucking people. It's just not even a very good bear suit. I mean, it looks pretty cool. But, look at the Patterson-Gimlet footage.

00:26:10 Speaker_02
If you look at that footage, proper musculature. And that's the 60s, right?

00:26:13 Speaker_00
Yep.

00:26:14 Speaker_01
See?

00:26:17 Speaker_02
Well, that was also like, you know, that was around when the, you know, 2001 was coming around when they were making that and stuff like that. Yeah, when we faked the moon landing. There was some really good monkey suits in that too.

00:26:26 Speaker_02
Yeah, there was a lot of stuff going on there, man. They just took it from Stanley Kubrick, man, because he had to fake the footage because fucking, what's his name? Neil Armstrong farted on the camera.

00:26:35 Speaker_02
Oh, so you think that they did go to the moon and Neil Armstrong farted so they had Stanley Kubrick reshoot it all? Yeah. I mean, that's kind of the best theory I've heard. I can see him farting all over it going, oh my bad, y'all.

00:26:49 Speaker_01
Yeah, it's all that space ice cream. Oh, damn, I should have been watching my cheese intake, y'all. It's me, Neil Armstrong. Do you know that that's what he sounded like? Yeah, no one really knows.

00:27:00 Speaker_01
If you actually listen to the quote, it'd be like, one small step for man, whoo, one giant leap for mankind. Amen.

00:27:12 Speaker_02
I love Neil Armstrong. He was a funny guy, man. Him and Chubby Checker. Yeah, he was great at the trumpet. God, he was good at the trumpet. God, I loved him. His jazz standards could not be duplicated. Oh I got one story.

00:27:31 Speaker_02
It's an old one but I never heard of it and I wanted to talk about it on the show. In South Korea. Oh okay yeah we'll jump right into this. Yeah in South Korea there is a VR. This happened like four years ago. Yes but this is still funny.

00:27:47 Speaker_02
Yeah we just learned about it now. There is a VR that could reunite you

00:27:53 Speaker_02
Your dead child no it sounded like they did this as a way for this is a nice thing they did for this woman It was like a specific company that did this like I guess it was an experiment in the digital imagery this was like during this from four years ago and

00:28:10 Speaker_02
Yeah, and it was... Jang Ji-sung was the mother. That was the name of the woman and it was from the South Korean broadcaster MBC were the ones that did the actual documentary.

00:28:21 Speaker_02
The documentary, this all came from a documentary called Meeting You, which was this idea of like, the goal was to, in what way can VR be good for society? You know who directed the documentary? Who? Kim Jong-woo. Is that his like fun cousin?

00:28:38 Speaker_02
That's the name of the director. Wow. Yeah. So there you go. It sounds like it's his fun cousin who reviews roller coasters.

00:28:46 Speaker_02
So not only did they digitally recreate the daughter and her voice, she died at seven years old, but they also recreated their favorite park. And so the kid kind of like appears from behind a bush and then like starts talking to the mom. Yes.

00:29:05 Speaker_02
Now I just want to, we'll just watch some of the footage, the video footage because they filmed all this and it's just like... I don't know how I feel because I don't... I mean I hate it. I just don't know if it helps or not.

00:29:17 Speaker_02
It definitely doesn't help. I don't know, some people like it, I don't know. Let's listen to some of this footage. So this is this woman. She's lost in a green screen room with a big VR helmet on. She's going, where are you? Here comes her dead daughter.

00:29:32 Speaker_02
She's haunting. Yeah. She looks like a character from Red Dead Redemption 2. Mom, where have you been? Have you been thinking of me? She says, no, I hate you. I haven't missed you at all. No, she's crying.

00:29:43 Speaker_02
And now she's trying to touch her face, but she can't because it's digital. And her hands are just going through the digital reproduction.

00:29:55 Speaker_02
Her ghost of this wide-eyed cartoon version of her daughter just kind of like hovering like a Street Fighter character waiting to be chosen. Like, this isn't helping you, lady. No, certainly not.

00:30:12 Speaker_02
The woman said that it was nice to be reconnected with her daughter. She wasn't though. But she said that it was sad that her daughter was still just seven. Instead of the age she should have been. So they wanted to grow her up hot?

00:30:27 Speaker_02
Well, I mean, she would have been 11. Oh. But it would have been nice to see her grow at all. Honestly, you could prompt her up to 22, 23. Invite some other guys in there.

00:30:37 Speaker_01
The future.

00:30:39 Speaker_02
Make her a stripper in the virtual world. This is, honestly, I'm only joking in this moment. They gave her a frozen little purse. Where does it stop? Because I think that's what we're gonna do. Like, look at this, they took this child's body, right?

00:30:55 Speaker_02
So they took a child's body. They took a normal child, and like a regular child, and they put him in like, in VR, like, it's- A camera bank, like a cylinder of cameras, it looks terrifying, it looks like Total Recall.

00:31:08 Speaker_02
They did this to a child, and then they subbed the head on to put her dead,

00:31:13 Speaker_02
daughter's head on it and so that she can go wave her hands at it but it doesn't really do much motion besides come out from behind this what looks to be a box of ammunition yeah it looks like a park from fallout terrifying yeah this looks like this is not terrifying there's trash everywhere this whole thing is horrifying yes this whole thing is just like i i

00:31:33 Speaker_02
I think this would be okay if it was photorealistic and not like a weird like Polar Express style cartoon. I was gonna say I think it'd be okay if it was like reuniting you with a dog. Oh wow.

00:31:47 Speaker_02
You know if like it was like your childhood dog or something that you wanted to hang out with again. I think that would be a little better than a human being. I think that we need a better relationship with death overall. Yeah.

00:31:59 Speaker_02
And we need to understand it's a part of life. And it's nice. I should put Tootsie in the little VR thing. You can do it. I wonder how long it would take to get the horn on her head. Absolutely. That'd be cool.

00:32:12 Speaker_02
We put her in there and then we can turn her as well. What we do is a couple. So first you have the little kid here on this body double. We're going to do this. Then again, 23 year old stripper put her in there. Do the same thing.

00:32:23 Speaker_02
Put the kid's head on that. Put Tootsie's head on that. Yes. Right? Because then it can go from, yeah, you can hang out with Tootsie. Talk about emotions. It's nice to see, be hanging out with Tootsie.

00:32:31 Speaker_02
Next thing you know, you can pop some great tits on her. Yeah. Pop a huge rack on her. Pop a good butt and dick on her. The moment you get sick of looking at Tootsie. Titsy. Boom. Exactly. And then guess what you also could do with it, man? Dicks and tits.

00:32:45 Speaker_02
Yeah. You could do butts and butts.

00:32:46 Speaker_01
Anything you want.

00:32:47 Speaker_02
You could do pussies and tits. 20 dicks and 30 pussies. Make a whole human out of dicks and pussies. This is what we're saying is when does the technology end?

00:32:58 Speaker_02
Yeah, that's actually a great idea for a movie monster, but that's just, you know, too friendly.

00:33:04 Speaker_01
Yeah.

00:33:04 Speaker_02
Oh, does this fuck you to death with its five butts?

00:33:06 Speaker_01
Oh, Henry, it's so good to see you again. Get out of here. Quit tempting me with your five delicious butts. Oh, Henry, man. No, please. Oh, please see the inside of me. No, I'm so dehydrated from cumming. Try to guess which pussy is queefing.

00:33:22 Speaker_02
It's the second to right one. I know because the right one is where I'm getting the juice spray from. Well, that's your ass. I know that's ass. I know that's ass. It is great. I don't know if people even find that funny.

00:33:39 Speaker_02
I just think it's funny to have people crying at a bunch of cartoon daughters of yours because it's not seeing her again. I feel like it's obviously very complicated. It's emotional. It's upsetting. People get upset. People get upset about it.

00:33:53 Speaker_02
But it's so ridiculous. I'm very sorry this woman's daughter died. I'm very sorry that happened to her and they're going through a lot, but this is crazy. You know, if you're going to fucking do this, know that we have to talk about it.

00:34:06 Speaker_02
It just doesn't really help.

00:34:08 Speaker_02
Like does it help or is not acknowledging that they've passed on in other ways or while they're alive I know that technically the baby, the daughter died very quickly of blood based diseases which I thought would all diseases were Yeah But she definitely got like, she died very quickly and is very sad But still, I don't know if this, I mean, but I'm not yucking your yum

00:34:33 Speaker_02
And if this is what you want, then I guess you can have it. I don't know if it's going to make you feel better. Do you remember the one where Kanye West paid for Kim Kardashian to get the hologram of her father? No. Yeah, you should look that up.

00:34:48 Speaker_02
He had a hologram made of her father that showed up at her birthday party. What'd it say? Not guilty? I watched my wife fuck OJ and make you. Oh, yeah. Kanye got one done, like his mom would have the full... Crazy rack?

00:35:06 Speaker_02
Crazy rack that she was trying to get when she passed away. I would expect no less. See, isn't this nice that she got to see her dead father talk to her in cartoon fashion? Goddamn.

00:35:15 Speaker_02
If Julie, like, I got you something for Christmas... And it was your mom? And it was my mom's ghost, like, dancing around the Christmas tree, I'd be pretty upset. It's like, buy me... A leather bag next time.

00:35:29 Speaker_02
Buy me, there's so many things that can be purchased. Buy this in weed. Whatever amount of money you spent. Put it all towards weed, I'll be so happy. That's a gift. I can't believe I never heard of this. You do not see this? No.

00:35:43 Speaker_02
Yeah, he sings her a song and stuff. It is frightening. Wow. It is truly, truly frightening. And honestly, I don't think it helped their marriage.

00:35:52 Speaker_04
So proud of the woman that you've become, Kimberly, and all that you've accomplished. All of your hard work and all the businesses you have built are incredible. But most impressive is your commitment to become a lawyer and carry on my legacy.

00:36:06 Speaker_02
She hasn't.

00:36:07 Speaker_04
It's a long and a hard road.

00:36:11 Speaker_02
And she definitely hasn't. No, that's really sad. That probably costs like, it costs like several hundred thousand dollars to do. Wow. Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah, it's fucking too much. Too much money for something that's extremely sad and fucked up.

00:36:23 Speaker_02
Who would be your hologram that you would want? L. Ron Hubbard. L. Ron Hubbard? That has to exist already. Oh yeah, but again, it's the issue with it is that it's not thinking on its own. You have to write a script for it.

00:36:35 Speaker_02
So it's not like it's coming out and actually saying anything that would be in the mind of the hologram you want to talk to. I saw a Ronald Reagan hologram at the Reagan library. Yeah, he had more function than the president when he was alive.

00:36:48 Speaker_02
It did look like it had Alzheimer's. Yeah, oh well that's fun. See, that's fun. I like that. Alright, this isn't one last story that I want to talk about here that is horrifying to me.

00:37:04 Speaker_02
I know a lot of our listeners, we have a lot of bug people in the audience.

00:37:10 Speaker_02
Which is fine people like bugs people like to people keep spiders, but this is fucked up I don't actually want to my house, but I like their existence I will I would you want to know side stories LP OTL a gmail.com those that that do Get exotic spiders.

00:37:25 Speaker_02
How do you get them like what what way like where do you there's all sites and stuff? I know I wear fish from all over the world. But how do you know if it's legit and not from somebody like this? This story is ridiculous. This guy, a man was stopped.

00:37:38 Speaker_02
He was a smuggler. Okay.

00:37:40 Speaker_02
He was in Peru and he was at the Lima, he was at Jorge Chavez International Airport and he was stopped because the man, he was a 28 year old South Korean man who was smuggling 320 tarantulas, 110 centipedes and nine bullet ants in his jacket and pants.

00:37:59 Speaker_02
That's dangerous. And they said they had to bring him, they had to stop him because his jacket and pants were squirming. I'd be so mad if he got through and then you have to sit next to him from a flight from Peru to New York City.

00:38:14 Speaker_02
I don't care if you do it in a U-Haul, I don't care if you put it in the bottom of a fucking trunk, but the idea of you being in the cabin with me strapped with hundreds of centipedes, because I like Spiders. I like spiders.

00:38:28 Speaker_02
Yeah, but you're not hanging with them. But I would. Versus all the rest of them. You would get a spider for the house? No, Natalie won't let me, but I keep, I do keep spiders that alive that are crucial. Spiders. Okay.

00:38:39 Speaker_02
Oh, so you don't kill the spiders in your house? I essentially do a means of almost like a form of cutthroat late stage capitalism with the spiders in my home, which is I look for closers.

00:38:49 Speaker_02
So if a spider's got a big web and a lot of flies on it, I'd leave it. But if a new spider shows up, I knock it out. flies are in your house. We get a lot of flies in the house because they all come up from the ground.

00:39:00 Speaker_02
You got to put bleach down your drains. What am I trying to fucking make them white? No, you're trying to kill them. That's where they live. They live in the drains, man. They live outside. They fucking live inside. But sometimes they live in the walls.

00:39:13 Speaker_02
Sometimes, but they mostly live in the drains. I'll try it. This is a kitchen thing. The only thing I got is flies. You pour bleach down the drains. The flies come in from outside, I know that.

00:39:20 Speaker_00
Yeah?

00:39:21 Speaker_02
Because we don't have a screen door. Okay. But they also live in the drains. So it was less than you poured bleach down the drains. Rob, you used to be a plumber, is that true? Uh, not really. Yeah, do you really put, should you put bleach down the drain?

00:39:33 Speaker_02
They can grow, like they can form in your kitchen sink.

00:39:36 Speaker_00
Yeah, they can form in your kitchen sink.

00:39:38 Speaker_02
That does happen. And especially if you don't hit the fucking disposal button as often as you should. I always do. I'm telling you, pour bleach down your drains. Would you do that? You're going to see less flies. Your kitchen sink, yes.

00:39:48 Speaker_02
In the kitchen sink you can do it. Yeah, it doesn't matter in the bathroom. What are you saying? There's water traps and everything else. There's water traps, okay. Yes. Got it. I'm just asking Rob because Rob knows. Rob is a plumber. Rob is a plumber.

00:39:58 Speaker_02
But I know I also have a food handler's license and that was something we had to fucking do. I forgot. Yes. I forgot that you had that as well. Well, it doesn't matter, because this guy did none of it. He saw that, and he took it as an opportunity.

00:40:10 Speaker_02
He strapped these shits to his body, and they took them all out. Is that the size of them? Those are the size of the tarantulas that were in little tubes. What did he think he was going to do? They're like two pounds each. Yeah, dude.

00:40:22 Speaker_02
He was crinkling in a crackle and walking into the thing. He was surrounded by spiders. They actually did a really good job of saving the spiders, because people love tarantulas. Test him for rabies. Give him the same treatment the squirrel got.

00:40:37 Speaker_02
That squirrel, technically, it was sad. It is sad what happened to that squirrel. Yes. It is quite sad. We're still on it. I think tarantulas- It scares the shit out of me. Tarantulas, they bite, but you won't get that fucked up from it, apparently.

00:40:50 Speaker_02
No, and they can be, I wouldn't go as far as to say they're cute. I just think that spiders are extremely interesting. Are these all dead ones? No, those are alive. Some of them are dead. The ones in the bags? Some of them are dead.

00:40:59 Speaker_00
Some of them are dead. I think some of them might not be doing well.

00:41:01 Speaker_02
They might be asleep. Man, I think tarantulas are fucking awesome. Yeah, they are awesome. Although, I do live by the mantra that you shouldn't be able to shave a spider. It's got a thick coat. Is it staying warm? What's it doing there?

00:41:17 Speaker_02
I think it helps it sense its environment and then it helps things stick to it. That's why I have my hairs. Oh yeah, you can see when something's getting close. Oh, I know exactly how any, how large and wide any tube is. That's how you got Natalie. Yep.

00:41:33 Speaker_02
That's the only way she'd know. I flushed it out. I did like a, I poofed it out like I was an Amazon bird. Um, I think that we got, we have stories that we're saving for this week for a very special show in Humboldt County.

00:41:46 Speaker_02
We have a live show in Humboldt. I'm so excited. It's going to be this Saturday, hosted by Billy Wayne Davis. And it's going to be Henry and I doing side stories. Um, that's Saturday, November 23rd, 8 p.m.

00:41:58 Speaker_02
at the Matteal Community Center in Redway, California. We're going to have a blast. We keep saying Humboldt, but it's technically Redway. That's the town. We are going to have a blast. Yes, as long as the bomb cyclone doesn't fucking kill us.

00:42:13 Speaker_02
If there is a bomb cyclone, we will be moving the show. But if not, we will be there. Apparently the bomb cyclone's over on Friday, so we should be fine. We should be fine. But I'm not flying in that small plane that we're in through a fucking cyclone.

00:42:28 Speaker_02
No, there's only certain planes. Literally, we have to turn the propeller ourselves before we go inside the plane. But the Classy Night Out almost sold out already. You believe that? Dude, come check it out. I'm so excited for this show.

00:42:41 Speaker_02
We're going to have a lot of special guests. We're in town for Christmas time. Yes. Check it out at the Masonic Lodge December 21st. We are large and in charge. Yeah, and some of your LPN favorites will be there.

00:42:54 Speaker_02
Jackie Zebrowski, Amber Nelson, and Sina Ghaznavi. We're going to have a great time. And then also I want to say on December 12th, is going to be the next Hoopa Googa game. HGX2. I'm so excited for that. That's going to be on the Twitch channel.

00:43:09 Speaker_02
That's twitch.tv, LPNTV. I can't wait. 6pm Pacific, 9pm Eastern. I fucking love this Hoopa Googa game. I do too.

00:43:18 Speaker_00
It's so great.

00:43:18 Speaker_02
We all do. Everybody loves it. And Good Pud Live is also tomorrow, this Thursday. We're doing live 6pm. We're having a bit of Thanksgiving Pud. Really? Oh yeah, buddy. Cranberry sauce? Whole spread. That's already a pudding, sort of. It's a gel. It's a gel!

00:43:34 Speaker_02
It's Jell-O. It's Jell-O. Yeah. And how do you feel about Jell-O? I think it's gross. Yeah? What has more animal parts in it, Jell-O or pudding? Because pudding's got milk. Pudding, because it's also got gelatin. Yeah. Oh, okay, good. So pudding's superior.

00:43:50 Speaker_02
Oh yeah. Oh, very much so. Make sure you live every day knowing that you got a fucking almost full meal of pudding ahead of you. And you are gonna love the fact that your stomach is gonna hurt because you will be chasing it with wine or tequila. Right?

00:44:06 Speaker_02
Because that's how you do Good Pud. And that's how people like it because we do Good Pud. Why? Because it makes people laugh. You know what would be a good pudding? I probably already exist. Key lime pie. I mean, that would be delicious.

00:44:20 Speaker_02
Yeah, that'd be actually really nice. Yeah, but that's not what we're going for, Eddie. You want savory puddings. We want savory puddings. We're in the savory pudding space. The goal is to create the entree pudding. The entree pudding.

00:44:31 Speaker_02
This is the entree pudding. This is for when you and Jackie eventually lose your teeth. No, I want it with teeth. You want it with teeth? Yeah, dude, of course. Sometimes some puddings kind of have a chew to them. How about shrimp scampi?

00:44:44 Speaker_02
I would love that. Shrimp scampi pudding would be great. Absolutely, of course. I'm going to write that down immediately. I love shrimp scampi pudding. Yeah, I think that would be a really good idea.

00:44:50 Speaker_02
I also, like, we had recently a deviled egg pudding that we had was amazing. I actually tried a little bit of that, and it was amazing. Right? Yeah, I really enjoyed that, actually. You'd think you wouldn't, but I love my deviled eggs, though. Me too.

00:45:02 Speaker_02
I mean, it's all mayonnaise. Yeah. If you put a bunch of mayonnaise in a cup and you call it pudding, is it pudding or is it mayonnaise? If you're eating it and calling it pudding, that's called the power of magic.

00:45:16 Speaker_02
Go to patreon.com slash LastSpotGuessandLeft to pay to watch us talk. And we have a good time on there. Go check out all the BTS, we got the reading lists, we got all this stuff, it's great. Also, every Side Stories comes out twice on YouTube.

00:45:30 Speaker_02
Once is just audio and once as video. So if you wait two days, you can actually see us fucking jam around like fucking assholes. Oh, goddammit, I just saw a story that we just missed.

00:45:40 Speaker_00
Talk to it, who cares?

00:45:41 Speaker_02
A man stole 67 pieces of underwear to hang on his masturbation tree. Oh. Goddammit. That's kind of nice. Oh, fuck. I never thought to have a masturbation tree. Oh, it's Thailand. That makes sense. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:45:53 Speaker_02
Yeah, well, yeah, he mostly jerked off at this tree. They love trees out there. They really do, all sorts. And also, there was one of the Florida doctor that was just walking around his doctor's office completely naked.

00:46:04 Speaker_02
So this doctor, this is another story that I just didn't cover because it came in and out. This guy was walking around, he was apparently accustomed to it, and they all said that he's got used to what he called his free living lifestyle.

00:46:15 Speaker_02
So this doctor is just walking full ass naked throughout his whole office. Yeah. He then casually goes into where all the nurses are. They're not reacting at all to him naked. He's in there.

00:46:26 Speaker_02
He then begins to play with his dick and balls and get hard and masturbate to full ejaculation all over the lap of one of the ladies.

00:46:32 Speaker_00
That's where he went wrong.

00:46:32 Speaker_02
And guess what? The lady didn't even react. Incredible employees. He said apparently you've been grooming them for a long period of time.

00:46:40 Speaker_01
No way. They didn't know what to do.

00:46:41 Speaker_02
Doesn't sound like it at all. Doesn't sound like they were used to it in any way. What's his name? You gotta be a really good doctor to walk in naked. He said that what they did was what he did, which is, and I'm not supporting this man.

00:46:57 Speaker_02
Better than a naked dentist. Oh very much so. I'd say that. Why is that? But it's true. You know what he did that you could say is the best thing that he did? Was that every single time he was naked in the office, he'd give them money. Oh.

00:47:11 Speaker_02
Oh yeah, that makes sense. Oh, he still has a hat on. Yeah, he's got a hat on, but no shoes. What's the point of being naked if you got a fucking hat on?

00:47:18 Speaker_01
Lookit, they're just working, buddy. Oh, he finds this hilarious. He is stretching. He is like, he's got his foot up on the copier. Like, he's doing all the stuff, dude.

00:47:28 Speaker_02
He is naked as the day is naked, man. Goddamn. This is a doctor. He's on the phone. Yeah, he's just doing shit. Yeah, letting his dingle balls, but then you find out later on is that then he jerked all over that woman's leg. Dr. Define.

00:47:41 Speaker_02
Yeah, Dr. David Define. Yes, all right. Yeah, well, he did give him a lot of money, so. Now he's eating pizza? Come on. He's eating their company pizza. You can't lift the pizza box when your dick is out. It's less than a foot away from it.

00:47:58 Speaker_01
Pepperoni? According to the doctor, that's what he says. I don't know anything about that at all.

00:48:02 Speaker_02
I don't have to see those things to have any idea what you're talking about. You put the, it's your doctor's office. He's fucking a pervert. You put the security cameras up. All of this is on purpose. Every bit of this is on purpose.

00:48:14 Speaker_02
Well, hey, that's why it's important for you guys out there is that if you're making a joke, if you're horny, right? You're a horny boss. I'm a horny boss, but I save it for my family.

00:48:23 Speaker_02
But if you're a horny boss, you gotta set the temperature of that horny boss scenario up top, right? And my main thing is, boss is naked. Technically, if everybody's not naked, He's a criminal. Yes. But if everybody's naked.

00:48:39 Speaker_02
Unless he's forcing them to get naked. But unless you put that on the stipulation. If everyone's naked on their own accord. It's not forcing, it's you work here, you're naked. If you don't work here, you're not naked.

00:48:53 Speaker_02
If you don't want to work here, fine. And be naked here, sure. But you're naked. And you're, if you're getting work done here, you're naked. I feel like naked needs to be on the sign outside. Oh, no, it's called the naked doctor's office.

00:49:07 Speaker_01
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:49:08 Speaker_02
No, very much so.

00:49:09 Speaker_01
It needs to be, yeah.

00:49:11 Speaker_02
Naked Nursery. Very much so. Yeah, Naked Plumbers Union. Yeah, Naked Hospice. We already did that. Hoe Spice. Naked Hospice. Yeah, that was the hottest one. Is this the guy? Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh see, he's all fat and bearded in this picture.

00:49:25 Speaker_02
He's just excited with it. He lost all the weight. Wait till I fucking get- You know he's just shooting himself up with a Zempik. Dude, I'm getting cut next year, so maybe I might get a little naked in the studio. I'll fucking cut you right now.

00:49:35 Speaker_02
You already do. Yes, I do. I have to show my dick and balls. You don't show your digimons, but Henry takes his shirt off at all times. I'm on the show! This is my job! I know.

00:49:46 Speaker_02
But they'll be like, we'll just be working together and you'll just lift your shirt up and start playing with your breasts.

00:49:50 Speaker_01
You're used to it.

00:49:51 Speaker_02
Yeah. You have to take it. I'm not complaining, I'm just stating facts. That's what you have to take. That's my process. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Alright, well let's get out of here. Hail Satan. Hail my process. Hail Korean VR children.

00:50:07 Speaker_02
The only innocent kids I know.