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Episode: "RE-RELEASE: Maya Rudolph"

Author: Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, Will Arnett
Duration: 00:45:02

Episode Shownotes

Superhero Maya Rudolph skydives in for some cork-popping fun on another juicy episode of the pod. Songs are sung, stories are told, and Maya educates us all, by example, on how to be the coolest cucumber around.This episode was originally released on 9/7/2020. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts

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Full Transcript

00:00:03 Speaker_05
Hello, welcome to Smart List. I am Jason Bateman, one of the less smart hosts. Even less smart is Will Arnett and truly dumb is Sean Hayes. We each have invited, well, one of us invites a guest per week. The other two don't know who that person is.

00:00:18 Speaker_05
Some of it's gonna be funny. Hopefully you won't cry and hopefully you learn a little something. So let's get started.

00:00:41 Speaker_08
Well, here's the sad part. You have Chumbawamba on your thing, ready to go. And it's not a joke.

00:00:46 Speaker_05
No, it's a ringtone.

00:00:47 Speaker_07
He's getting a call. I think I've been going so Chumbawamba heavy lately on the, I keep going like mid conversation. Alessandra will say something. I'll just go. You know, the thing about me is I get knocked down, but I get up again.

00:01:02 Speaker_07
And she's like, but between that and my 10 year love affair with figuring out who let the dogs out. Right.

00:01:09 Speaker_05
Oh, but what about that, that, that what's the, that crap ass band? Well, actually I've never heard their music, but they're. Goddamn name. Uh... Boney Bear? Boney Bear. Yeah. What's Boney Bear? First of all, Boney Bear's a great band.

00:01:23 Speaker_05
So is it, hang on, B-O-N-E-Y and then, and then V-A-R or something like that?

00:01:29 Speaker_07
Yeah, that's what it is. You fucking idiot. What's a Boney Bear? Like, what, would there be like a fat bear?

00:01:34 Speaker_08
It's... It's... Wait, what song are they singing? What is it?

00:01:39 Speaker_07
It's B-O-N, and then space, I-V-E-R. Oh, he likes it because it's French, and he's like, I can speak French. It's not French. He's from fucking Wisconsin, and it's this guy, Justin Vernon, and my friend Chris Messina, who works with the band.

00:01:54 Speaker_07
Oh, then they're great. I don't know where our guest is, but I guarantee you that they like Bon Iver. I have this feeling that they do.

00:02:01 Speaker_05
How much do you want to bet?

00:02:02 Speaker_07
You want to do a real bet? 100 Canadian dollars.

00:02:06 Speaker_05
Sean, you know who this is, so you can't chime in. 100 Canadian dollars right now.

00:02:10 Speaker_07
Great. So it's a $5 bet?

00:02:11 Speaker_05
Is that what you're saying?

00:02:13 Speaker_07
You know what, dude? That's so insulting. That's so insulting to me and to all my Canadian brethren, who I'm going to put your address online. Oh, right on. Right on. Well, just give her.

00:02:23 Speaker_08
Wait, can I tell you guys something that Scotty and I were watching?

00:02:27 Speaker_07
Hey, were you just changing your diaper? What did you just pull out from your pants?

00:02:32 Speaker_05
Why do you wear a pashbina as a diaper?

00:02:34 Speaker_08
Because it was cold and now it's hot. I was watching Field of Dreams last night. I've never seen the movie. Okay, hold for applause? What are you doing? Okay. No, it was really good.

00:02:47 Speaker_08
But, I mean, it's kind of a long way to go to tell a story about playing catch with your dad. But I get it. It was sweet. You know, Scotty's like, you know, these people won Academy Awards. I don't know, they were nominated or something.

00:02:56 Speaker_08
And then we started having this conversation about who would we conjure up from the past that, like, if you could, who would that be for you guys?

00:03:02 Speaker_07
Who would it be if... Hey, listen, Jason played catch with his dad at home. And by his dad, I mean the security guy at Fox. And by catch, I mean smoking butts behind stage five. But look...

00:03:17 Speaker_08
Yeah. Oh, God. All right. Well, we'll get to that later.

00:03:21 Speaker_05
Sean, who are you so rudely keeping waiting?

00:03:23 Speaker_08
Yeah. On our little podcast today, we have a gorgeous woman, inside and out, who we all know, we're all friends with. Really? And we all love. She is a light, guys. Her lineage is filled with all kinds of famous people.

00:03:37 Speaker_08
I'm trying to build even the slightest bit of anticipation because you're going to know who it is. Let me try with this one, this random thing. She graduated college with a degree in photography. Can you guess who that is? Annie Leibovitz. That's it.

00:03:48 Speaker_08
She's a staple in the history of American comedy, will be remembered forever for her many contributions in film and television. She's trending so goddamn hard on social media right now because of her impression of Kamala Harris. It's Maya Rudolph!

00:04:00 Speaker_04
No way! Oh, God.

00:04:05 Speaker_07
Look at this. Oh, pop the cork. Pop the cork. Oh my God.

00:04:11 Speaker_03
I was trying to sing Bon Iver. Okay, so wait.

00:04:18 Speaker_07
Right? How good is Bon Iver?

00:04:19 Speaker_03
Bon Iver is great. I listened to the whole thing and I felt bad for Bateman because he sounded old.

00:04:26 Speaker_07
I know, didn't he? And now you look at him, he looks old. That's fucked up. So they're less gross than the name.

00:04:33 Speaker_03
They're a person, I think, right? Isn't it a person?

00:04:37 Speaker_07
It's Justin Vernon, pretty much. And he has other guys who are in the band as well. Sean Carey, who plays, but they're good friends of mine. They're great guys and they make great music. Hi, Maya Rudolph. Hi, Maya Rudolph. Hi, guys. Thanks for being here.

00:04:50 Speaker_03
Sorry for the mood lighting. I'm in a cave, it's the only quiet place at my house.

00:04:55 Speaker_08
No, I was going to say thank you for the mood lighting. I'm going to join you.

00:04:58 Speaker_04
It's a wank fest here.

00:05:02 Speaker_05
Welcome to my jack shack. Yeah, he was talking about that the other day, how he bounced that name off of you.

00:05:08 Speaker_03
Do you remember I used to say that to you? Did you finally build your jack shack?

00:05:12 Speaker_05
He's in it right now, look at him.

00:05:14 Speaker_03
That's why he's got a smile on his face. And no pantalones.

00:05:19 Speaker_05
Now, Maya, the reason you're looking for quiet is because there are six, 17 kids? 18 kids over there, right?

00:05:26 Speaker_03
18, Jason, 18. Good for you. I like to pop them out. There is nothing elastic about my lower region.

00:05:38 Speaker_00
Nothing.

00:05:39 Speaker_03
It's basically like when you get a grocery bag and something has spilled and then everything just falls out of the bottom.

00:05:48 Speaker_05
So the bottom got too saturated.

00:05:50 Speaker_03
Yeah.

00:05:51 Speaker_05
And now it's useless to you. So kids are falling out daily.

00:05:54 Speaker_03
Falling out daily.

00:05:55 Speaker_08
Do your kids love that description of how they came into the world?

00:06:00 Speaker_03
My son, well my son thinks that he came out of my butt because he saw like a birth video. So we like to keep it that way.

00:06:09 Speaker_07
My son said the other day, little Abel said the other day, he was in the backseat. Archie and I were arguing about the genesis of, this is terrible parenting, of Grand Theft Auto games and which one came first in GTA 5.

00:06:23 Speaker_07
And Abel's in the backseat going, hey, Abe, real quick, could you Wikipedia? And he cuts me off and he goes, how babies are made, you got it.

00:06:32 Speaker_05
He's got that on his favorites. It's just a one button. You know, Maya, your husband did describe having a bunch of kids running around the house. He says it's so great, to use a better word, it's like having a fire burning in each room.

00:06:44 Speaker_05
It's all warm and cozy. He said that?

00:06:47 Speaker_03
Well, he's a bit of a poet. I thought he was going to tell the Jim Gaffigan joke about how it's like, because Jim Gaffigan has five, right?

00:06:55 Speaker_03
And I think his joke was having a fifth kid is like swimming in a pool and you're drowning and someone hands you a baby. It's a bit overwhelming.

00:07:10 Speaker_03
I have to say that being in quarantine with four kids is great because I would be very depressed if I was not very busy. It would be a lot more quiet and depressing.

00:07:24 Speaker_07
Look at Sean.

00:07:25 Speaker_03
Yeah, look at Sean.

00:07:26 Speaker_07
I just got up. Sean is so low right now. He'd have to rally to die. That's how low.

00:07:32 Speaker_03
How many books is your computer on right now? Is your computer on it?

00:07:38 Speaker_08
My computer is actually on a stand right now. But I like to say the books behind me on the shelf, I've read every single one of those jackets. Nice, nice.

00:07:47 Speaker_07
Who do you say that to? To Scotty or?

00:07:51 Speaker_08
I say it to anybody who'll listen.

00:07:52 Speaker_03
He says it to all the living members of Chumbawamba.

00:07:56 Speaker_05
Maya, are those kids old enough to help out around the house or are they just asking you to help them find things to do?

00:08:02 Speaker_08
Because that is the only reason Jason had children.

00:08:04 Speaker_05
I just, I can't keep them entertained.

00:08:07 Speaker_03
Do you have any teenagers yet?

00:08:08 Speaker_05
Yeah, I got a 13 year old and an eight year old.

00:08:11 Speaker_03
The problem with the teen part is I feel really badly for them because they want to be social, but then I don't want them to be on their fucking devices all day long.

00:08:22 Speaker_05
But then you got to talk to them. If they're off the device, then you have to talk to them.

00:08:25 Speaker_03
It's killing me.

00:08:26 Speaker_05
And I also feel like... Lesser the two evils is just a thicker data plan, right?

00:08:31 Speaker_03
Yeah. Oh, I thought you meant dad plan. Yeah.

00:08:34 Speaker_05
Let's let Bateman keep talking. Let him hang himself. Keep going. Dude, what is it? So one teenager or two teenagers?

00:08:41 Speaker_03
I have one teenager. She's 14.

00:08:44 Speaker_05
The others are?

00:08:44 Speaker_03
I have no idea. No, 10, 9, and 7. Almost 11, 9, and 7.

00:08:51 Speaker_05
Is the 14-year-old a nightmare? Has she found her sass yet at 14?

00:08:56 Speaker_03
No, she's not a nightmare. She's the opposite. So I feel really bad because she's a nice person. That's Pearl, right? Yeah.

00:09:02 Speaker_05
I love her. Don't show off, Sean. You know, we all have Google.

00:09:06 Speaker_03
Sean is godparent to all of my children. Is that true? No.

00:09:10 Speaker_08
Yeah, and like my dad, I've never shown up for them.

00:09:13 Speaker_05
Are you guys godparents to anybody?

00:09:16 Speaker_03
No. I am. I don't even, I don't know what that means. What does it mean?

00:09:20 Speaker_05
I don't know either, because I think I failed. Well, we are.

00:09:21 Speaker_08
We're actually very active godparents, me and Scotty, to Jonah and Sammy, Kerry Aisley's children. You are? Yeah.

00:09:30 Speaker_08
And so, and we're very active, and legally, it's just somebody in the highly unlikely and hopeful never happening case, where something happens to them, we are the legal guardians. Right.

00:09:40 Speaker_07
I don't think that's always the case.

00:09:41 Speaker_03
It's not a religious thing?

00:09:43 Speaker_07
It used to be a religious thing, and I think now it's much more of just sort of a custom thing that you do. Babe, should we be godparents to each other's kids just out of safety?

00:09:51 Speaker_05
No, no, no. We're all set. I'm good.

00:09:52 Speaker_07
That's all you want to send over the paperwork?

00:09:54 Speaker_05
He's good. Yeah, yeah, no. Amanda's got it handled, bro. We're all good. How about a question for Maya?

00:09:59 Speaker_08
You don't even know what for dinner. Maya's actually the godparent to Scotty.

00:10:05 Speaker_03
I am.

00:10:06 Speaker_05
Does she powder and swaddle him?

00:10:07 Speaker_03
Yes, I do.

00:10:09 Speaker_08
Maya, I have to say a couple things.

00:10:12 Speaker_03
One is... I love you too.

00:10:14 Speaker_08
I do, I really do love you and I miss you and I feel like I never see you.

00:10:17 Speaker_03
I know, I love you too. I don't ever see you.

00:10:20 Speaker_08
I know, it's wrong. But first of all, I have to say the thing that we all know but not everybody knows, which is that your mom is Minnie Riperton, who sang Loving You.

00:10:30 Speaker_03
I was so surprised that you threw in the lineage thing. These dudes are like, who, what?

00:10:35 Speaker_08
Yeah, I don't even know Bon Iver is. Come on. Your grandfather owned all the Wendy's in like Florida or something?

00:10:42 Speaker_03
Yes. Isn't that crazy? Hang on. Sidney Rudolph.

00:10:46 Speaker_08
Free burgers for life or?

00:10:48 Speaker_03
So supposedly my grandfather and his brother were these big time business boys back in the day and he came up with this idea for a company called Trip Charge. and where it was like you could get a card and charge it when you were on a trip.

00:11:04 Speaker_03
This was before the credit card was invented. And it was such a great idea that he sold the idea to Diner's Club. Way to go, Sid Reolf.

00:11:12 Speaker_05
Is Diner's Club still around?

00:11:14 Speaker_03
I don't know, but I guess he straight up gave him the idea for the credit card.

00:11:18 Speaker_05
So Diner's Club was just for restaurants? Is that what it was?

00:11:21 Speaker_03
That's a great question. I don't know. I don't know if it was like a Traveler's Check situation for going out. I don't remember those. Traveler's Checks, I remember. Traveler's Checks.

00:11:29 Speaker_07
Carte Blanche. Remember Carte Blanche was a thing for a minute? What was Carte Blanche? It's similar. It's like Diners Club.

00:11:34 Speaker_03
I thought it was like, oh, Carte Blanche, and you just say it.

00:11:37 Speaker_07
Speaking of the Rudolphs, how was your dad?

00:11:40 Speaker_03
He's good. Are you asking about my sweet dad? Isn't my dad the best?

00:11:44 Speaker_07
He's so sweet.

00:11:45 Speaker_03
He's that guy my whole life that people ask me about. I just got another one today. Look at Bateman. Bateman's like, I don't know your dad. Why don't I get to meet your dad?

00:11:53 Speaker_07
Her dad is such a cool guy and you would be well served. This is like the Bon Iver thing. You would be well served to take that scowl off your face.

00:12:00 Speaker_05
That's my rest face now. I have a heavy brow. I need a lift. But I am talking a lot about this. I constantly look like I just said, what did you say? Yeah. That's my rest face.

00:12:14 Speaker_04
Yeah, mine too.

00:12:15 Speaker_07
Wait, are you just coming to terms with this?

00:12:17 Speaker_05
Just to get to regular, I have to pretend I've just said, oh, I see. That's what I had, that lifts things up to where center is.

00:12:26 Speaker_03
I think it's from years of being funny and years of emoting, and now your skin is relaxing into itself. I have developed really gnarly eye bags, and I think it's from years of rubber face.

00:12:37 Speaker_05
Me too, Maya. Maybe you and I can find a doctor that can just cinch us up in all the places.

00:12:42 Speaker_03
Says eyes and vaginas.

00:12:43 Speaker_05
Yeah, there's probably somebody in the valley somewhere.

00:12:46 Speaker_03
They're kind of similar, they're similar areas. Your eyes and vagina's done here.

00:12:53 Speaker_05
That's like sham-coach and sham-poach.

00:12:55 Speaker_07
Sham-poach and sham-coach. That was Ali's. Sham-poach and sham-poach. Sham-poach and in the back you get sham-coach. Here's a very dark, dark story. But hang on, before you get into this, I do want to say this.

00:13:07 Speaker_03
That I went on a date with Ali.

00:13:09 Speaker_07
You went on a date with Ali? Wait, this is... What do you mean?

00:13:11 Speaker_03
I went on a date with Ali in New York and he took me to see Puppetry of the Penis. Do you remember that show?

00:13:16 Speaker_08
Wait, yes, I saw it in England. It was terrible. Wait, Ali? Who's Ali?

00:13:21 Speaker_03
Ali Farnakian.

00:13:23 Speaker_07
He's a funny guy. He's the guy who came up with Shampooch and Shampcooch, married with a couple kids.

00:13:28 Speaker_03
And we used to... And both named Shampooch and Shampcooch.

00:13:31 Speaker_07
And we used to pass Puppetry of the Penis all the time on the way home on 7th Avenue.

00:13:35 Speaker_07
And then we used to also, Amy and I used to always pass and we'd always say to each other that my favorite title for a play ever was, I love you, you're perfect, now change.

00:13:46 Speaker_08
Oh my God. I saw Puppetry of the Penis. I thought it was gonna be like this brilliant thing. It was just guys playing with the dicks on stage.

00:13:51 Speaker_03
It was so painful and awful looking. A lot of stretching of skin.

00:13:56 Speaker_05
Yeah. Wait, so there was actual frontal nudity all the way through it?

00:13:59 Speaker_03
Yeah.

00:14:00 Speaker_05
Really? Are they cut or uncut?

00:14:02 Speaker_03
They were, well, they're Australian, so.

00:14:04 Speaker_05
Yeah. So uncut, yeah. Uncut, so snooters.

00:14:08 Speaker_03
Wait, what?

00:14:09 Speaker_05
It's a snutter, right?

00:14:11 Speaker_03
It's called a snutter?

00:14:12 Speaker_05
I believe so. If it still has its little turtleneck.

00:14:16 Speaker_03
I'm a disgusting, foul person and I've never heard that term.

00:14:19 Speaker_07
What about aardvark? We just call them aardvarks.

00:14:21 Speaker_03
Yeah, sure. Aardvark is standard.

00:14:22 Speaker_07
I love the idea that Bateman goes in to get a facelift and the doctor says, no, just do the surprise face more.

00:14:29 Speaker_05
Yeah, and could you take care of my snuts? How many snutters do you have? I've got three penises.

00:14:37 Speaker_08
Sean, I cut you off 10 minutes ago. You cut me off 10 years ago, but that's okay. No, no, I was just gonna tell a story about my mom who passed away like two or three years ago. God rest her soul.

00:14:47 Speaker_08
best mom in the whole wide world, darkest sense of humor. That's why it's okay to tell this story. She would even laugh at this. And so when she was two years old, she had cancer and they removed her eye, the entire eye out of her socket. I knew that.

00:15:00 Speaker_08
And it wasn't until she passed away that I found her old medical records from when she was a kid and realized and learned that they took skin from around her vagina to reshape her eye socket. which was kind of astonishing back then.

00:15:13 Speaker_08
But you know, I shared this story with a friend of mine and he said, wait a minute, you're just telling me this now? The whole time I knew her, I could have fucked her in the eye?

00:15:20 Speaker_00
Oh my God.

00:15:22 Speaker_07
I thought you were gonna say, I thought you were gonna say to her, everybody looked like a cunt.

00:15:26 Speaker_05
Oh my God. It's brilliant. That's better than everything I was working on. I had tear duct stuff and- Oh my God.

00:15:38 Speaker_00
Okay.

00:15:41 Speaker_05
Maya, I'm so sorry.

00:15:42 Speaker_03
This is an X-rated show, right? Yeah, no, we're gonna cut that out. So listen... God, that's really funny.

00:15:52 Speaker_08
So I want to ask you, seriously, back to Minnie, your mom. Your dad produced that record from your mom, right?

00:15:59 Speaker_03
Yeah, they wrote a bunch of songs together and stuff.

00:16:03 Speaker_08
So another common question, and I'm sorry, but I think you and your... Did I get laid?

00:16:07 Speaker_01
Yes, I did. Did I get laid?

00:16:13 Speaker_08
But did you, because you have a great singing voice too, did you ever want to do albums and all that and sing and perform?

00:16:19 Speaker_03
I think the performing part, yes, but the singing part, I knew very early on that I did not have the vocal range of my mother.

00:16:26 Speaker_08
Well, because you were surrounded by music the whole time.

00:16:28 Speaker_03
Yeah, musical, but I don't have that kind of a voice. I mean, when the standard is like a seven octave range, you're sort of like, I'm good, but I like making music. I do like making music.

00:16:40 Speaker_03
I think now that I'm almost 50, I'll probably start publicly making music now that I'm not as afraid as I used to be.

00:16:49 Speaker_05
How does one start? Is it like you start with jingles or?

00:16:53 Speaker_03
Yeah, you know, like you write songs about lettuce. You're like. Uh-huh.

00:16:56 Speaker_05
Here we come.

00:16:56 Speaker_03
Light and free. Cold and crispy. That's the way it should be. Crispy too, that's right, Bateman.

00:17:04 Speaker_05
Swallow it down.

00:17:10 Speaker_08
Do any of your kids want to open their mouths and make sounds that sound like music?

00:17:15 Speaker_03
They all seem to want to be filmmakers so that's definitely happening.

00:17:19 Speaker_08
Because your partner is Paul Thomas Anderson.

00:17:21 Speaker_03
All of the above. He's all of those things. And they have iMovie so they make a lot of... movies all the time, which is pretty damn cute.

00:17:29 Speaker_05
All four of them. Oh, that's great.

00:17:30 Speaker_07
Truly?

00:17:31 Speaker_03
Mm-hmm.

00:17:33 Speaker_07
When Archie was born, the night he was born, it was a Saturday night, and, of course, Amy didn't make the show that night.

00:17:39 Speaker_03
We were supposed to do a Bronx beat that night.

00:17:42 Speaker_08
You were supposed to do it. You're talking about Amy Poehler from Saturday Night Live as your ex-wife?

00:17:45 Speaker_03
Don't forget, Will, your OB died.

00:17:48 Speaker_07
Our OB died the day before, so the day that... Wait, what? So it was the first time Ham was hosting SNL, do you remember? So Ham was hosting, and I was waiting to pick up Amy. John Ham. They were shooting John Ham. Thanks, Sean.

00:18:00 Speaker_07
Sean is like an audio chiropractor. And you know what?

00:18:03 Speaker_08
And here's the thing. By the way, I have to jump in. So my sister and all her friends live in Wisconsin, and they listen to these podcasts, and she's like, I don't know what they're talking about half the time. They're talking about names.

00:18:12 Speaker_07
So that's why I'm plugging in all these names, because they don't- You know what my advice to your sister is? Move.

00:18:17 Speaker_00
Okay.

00:18:18 Speaker_07
So anyway, that's fair enough. That's fair enough. So Jon Hamm, first time he's hosting. So we go, and we're supposed to go to this doctor's appointment, and the OB dies. He dies that day.

00:18:27 Speaker_08
Are you being serious? That's crazy.

00:18:29 Speaker_07
That's what, yeah, he was old.

00:18:30 Speaker_08
He was old.

00:18:31 Speaker_07
He was very old.

00:18:33 Speaker_05
Why was she seeing a guy on his death's doorstep? Did she get a deal on him or something like that? You feel like you get an OBGYN that's got a few more years left. A little more vibrant, yeah. So anyway, so we go in.

00:18:44 Speaker_03
Sometimes you want the best, you go to the quality.

00:18:48 Speaker_07
This guy had delivered, this is not a bit, the big thing was he had delivered Sophia Loren's baby back in the day, whatever. And we're like, that was great in like 1950. Beautiful baby, that was a beautiful baby. What a baby.

00:19:01 Speaker_07
But then apparently he forgot about it. But anyway, look. So anyway, we go in and Archie is born and we turn on the show that night and he's a couple hours old and Maya sang a song.

00:19:15 Speaker_03
Oh yeah, Keenan and I sang a song for little baby Archie.

00:19:19 Speaker_07
Really?

00:19:20 Speaker_08
Live? Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's so nice. Wow.

00:19:23 Speaker_03
I'm nice sometimes, Sean. I really am.

00:19:25 Speaker_08
Well, that's not coming through.

00:19:26 Speaker_03
Uh-oh. Sorry, Wisconsin. You are the nicest.

00:19:29 Speaker_08
I love you to death, you know that?

00:19:30 Speaker_03
I know, I love you too.

00:19:31 Speaker_08
I want to ask you some more stuff, but can I go to SNL, which I know you're probably sick of talking about, or maybe you're not. But I... I'm cool. I hosted your first year of SNL. I was a host during your first year. Oh, I remember.

00:19:45 Speaker_08
And even then, I was like, as I was hosting, I was like, who is this master of comedy, this girl I just... Who I'm falling in love with so quickly without as much as a date.

00:19:57 Speaker_03
I remember the Facts of Life sketch so well that you put up and it was... Mrs. Garrett stuck a carrot up her butt, and that's why her hair's so red.

00:20:10 Speaker_01
Keep singing. These are the facts of life. I can't believe you remember that. That is insane.

00:20:17 Speaker_03
Because I couldn't stop singing it afterwards.

00:20:20 Speaker_01
Mrs. Garrett stuck a carrot up her butt, and that's why her hair's so red. Keep singing. But it's got, it's got, wait, it's got, wait, it's got a bunch of verses. These are the facts of life.

00:20:36 Speaker_08
These are the facts of life. It was, it was... Who wrote that lyric? That is so... He did!

00:20:42 Speaker_08
Me and Raina got super stoned, and Raina's a friend of mine, and wrote this entire song called The Facts of Life, and it went through... Raina's a friend of Sean's, who's a cook, and who's a very good friend of Sean's.

00:20:50 Speaker_07
Sorry, keep going. That's for Wisconsin.

00:20:54 Speaker_05
Yeah, go ahead.

00:20:56 Speaker_08
Uh-oh. You're such an asshole. All right, so wait, so back to SNL.

00:21:02 Speaker_08
So when you were there, and I know everybody asks this, but for anybody who's not, who's never been part of the institution of comedy, you know, that creates legends like you are now, and yes, you are. Thank you, Sean. You're welcome, Maya.

00:21:16 Speaker_08
No one said anything. Everyone always asks.

00:21:18 Speaker_05
I did want to cut him off again because I feel like he might land the plane at some point during the fucking podcast. But I did want to say my you are comedy royalty to me. If anyone was listening to anything I've said over the last.

00:21:32 Speaker_05
20 years, I reference you all the time when we talk about- You do? Everybody does. A certain level of sophistication in comedy, I will say, like Maya Rudolph, and people go, oh, I get it.

00:21:42 Speaker_03
Yes, yes. I swear to God. If you're only saying this for me being here today, I do appreciate it.

00:21:48 Speaker_08
It's so true, Maya, you know how I feel. You are one of the comedy legends of history, for true.

00:21:54 Speaker_05
People get it. It's a very efficient, economical way to say, oh, you would like some smart laughs, got it.

00:22:01 Speaker_03
Wow, that's a pretty large compliment. Thank you, my friend. It is absolutely true.

00:22:06 Speaker_07
But I think that what Jason's getting to, not only are you known for that, but I will say that as somebody who has worked with you a bunch over the years, and Sean can attest to this too, and the three of us did work together as well,

00:22:18 Speaker_07
There is nobody who's quicker or faster or better in the moment and can eek out, make anything funny, even if the scene is terrible and you want to throw it out and then find it in the trash and throw it out again because it's so bad.

00:22:33 Speaker_08
Yeah.

00:22:34 Speaker_07
You have the ability to make every... You bring just... You always bring the element, and this is, I think, the real... Sort of the trademark of somebody who's really funny. You always bring in the element of surprise.

00:22:45 Speaker_07
I never know what you're going to do. And it's so, every time it's so awesome. I always feel it's exciting doing a scene with you.

00:22:52 Speaker_03
This is why getting old is great because we all remember things a lot less than what really happened. So your memories, all of your memories of our time together are so vague. The humility and the deflection. I love it.

00:23:06 Speaker_05
This is part of the intelligence.

00:23:09 Speaker_03
But honestly, it is nice to appreciate, I will get honest for a moment, it's nice to appreciate each other as we age, isn't it?

00:23:18 Speaker_03
It's nice to have had fun together, because my thing, once I started having kids and having to go to work, I realized, oh, I have to actually like what I'm doing today, or I'm going to want to kill myself.

00:23:30 Speaker_03
Because it's so depressing when you hate your job and you've left your beautiful babies at home. All the time that I've spent with you guys and out in the world and doing things, I cherish those times because all I did was laugh my ass off.

00:23:47 Speaker_08
So hard. I remember there's this one scene that you and I were in, in the show called Up All Night, that Will was also in with Christina Applegate. And those are my reference points, Will.

00:23:59 Speaker_07
Sir, what network was it on? Just people don't know. This was about the coke addicts, right?

00:24:06 Speaker_08
So, and Maya, there's this scene where it wasn't quite there yet with just the rehearsal and the writing and us acting, and we just were trying to- And I kept saying, is it in? Yeah, right.

00:24:17 Speaker_08
And I said, I said, I said, if you can't feel it by now, it's never going to be.

00:24:22 Speaker_08
And we crafted the scene in such a way that we finally got it there, and then when we shot it, you made, like, to Will's point, you made it so funny, I couldn't breathe laughing at it. It was in a house.

00:24:32 Speaker_03
Oh, was it that Halloween thing where we were supposed to be dead or something? We were pretending to, yeah. Oh, God, I laughed, sorry. Got you.

00:24:37 Speaker_08
But, okay, so here's the thing. Now, you've accomplished something that... God, you really did your homework, Sean.

00:24:43 Speaker_03
What's happening?

00:24:44 Speaker_05
This is the obligation of the host, of the person who invites the guests. They need to be the adult, they need to have the questions, and then the other two idiots get to just throw bombs from the sidelines.

00:24:53 Speaker_03
So that's me and Will.

00:24:54 Speaker_05
I've never seen this side of you, Sean.

00:24:56 Speaker_08
Well, it's comforting, isn't it? But like, to your point, if you tighten it up, it is. So... Okay, listen to me. Now you've accomplished something, and now I'm going to compliment these other two jerks.

00:25:13 Speaker_08
You've accomplished something that even Jason and Will have accomplished. And I wanted to talk about this. You all came onto the scene as actors who excel in comedy, and that's kind of what made you famous in the world.

00:25:25 Speaker_08
And you all have expanded your repertoire and kind of like crushing the dramatic work as well. Like I even told Jason on Ozark, it's the best work I've ever seen him do. He's incredible on the show. And when he cries, I cry. Very nice of you.

00:25:40 Speaker_03
but his face hasn't changed.

00:25:42 Speaker_08
But you both excelled at the drama work too, and I know that's hard to accomplish, but what's really hard to accomplish, and you guys have all done it, which is to hold onto a sense of where you came from and acknowledging your comedic roots.

00:25:55 Speaker_08
Because I feel that a lot of people who are famous because of comedy immediately take themselves too seriously and then lose themselves in the journey to prove that they're more than that. And in doing so, sometimes they fail.

00:26:07 Speaker_08
I mean, do you know what I mean?

00:26:09 Speaker_03
I think so.

00:26:10 Speaker_05
I was guilty of that first season of Ozark. I had the head writer, showrunner, cut out all the comedy that he'd put.

00:26:16 Speaker_05
It wasn't a ton of comedy, but there were some things that were... And I was like, I was so like, people have to know that this is a drama, you know, and they're going to think that it's a comedy because I'm in it. It is a drama.

00:26:27 Speaker_05
Well, exactly, but like a great writer does, throws in moments of levity to, you know, and so I got less precious about that in the second season. And people really liked that about his writing and the third season as well. So I got.

00:26:39 Speaker_07
And that was the second season is when they stopped calling you precious on set, right? Yep. Yeah. Yeah.

00:26:44 Speaker_05
That was the end of that.

00:26:45 Speaker_07
I figured out what was causing it and put an end to it. I was gonna say, I mean, you guys all know, I mean, comedy is just infinitely more difficult than drama over time.

00:26:56 Speaker_07
To be consistently, you know, funny, it's much harder than... Well, dying is easy, comedy is hard.

00:27:02 Speaker_08
I mean, I have to teach him all these old things.

00:27:03 Speaker_03
Did you just make that up? You're brilliant.

00:27:05 Speaker_08
Holy shit.

00:27:07 Speaker_03
I mean, Jesus, we should give you an award.

00:27:09 Speaker_05
Sean Hayes. Unreal. Write it down real quick. You're sitting at a desk.

00:27:13 Speaker_08
Oh, I did. That's why. I just read it off my page.

00:27:15 Speaker_03
The truth is that yeah, I mean what you're saying Will is what I feel is like at a certain point you realize how also the comedy and the drama is few and far between and you realize how serious and depressed you really are as a comedian internally and then like it's all kind of part and parcel the same thing.

00:27:36 Speaker_03
So all the little funny bits make the serious stuff real and it's all kind of

00:27:41 Speaker_07
I like that movie you did with Krasinski, where you guys were, it was funny, but also had dramatic moments. John Krasinski from The Office, Jesus.

00:27:48 Speaker_03
He was on The Office.

00:27:49 Speaker_07
He was on The Office, Wisconsin. And Sam Mendes directed, yeah? And Sam Mendes directed.

00:27:55 Speaker_07
And you guys, that was a great, and I said this when we made our little show Flake that not a lot of people saw that was on Netflix, but I used to say, people say, is it a comedy or drama? I'm like,

00:28:03 Speaker_07
I don't know, when I wake up in the morning, you don't go, like, today's gonna be a comedy day.

00:28:06 Speaker_03
Exactly.

00:28:06 Speaker_07
Or today's gonna be a drama day. I wanted it to feel like a representation of what a life experience is.

00:28:11 Speaker_03
I mean, other than, like, Mel Brooks' house, I don't know that most comedy households are always funny, right?

00:28:18 Speaker_05
No. They're probably real quiet.

00:28:19 Speaker_03
They're probably really dark.

00:28:21 Speaker_05
Yeah, for sure.

00:28:22 Speaker_05
Now, Maya, with all the years of experience that you have and the clear understanding, obviously, of the nuance of comedy as well as drama, do you have any desire to write anything long form or direct anything long form and kind of be the person that navigates all that stuff?

00:28:38 Speaker_03
Directing, no. Directing, I absolutely don't ever want to do. And I think it's the amount of responsibility that's required that makes me feel like itchy and hot. Knowing that I have to make sure you've got this covered.

00:28:54 Speaker_03
It's like being the host of a party and making sure everybody's happy. I don't think that's in my nature and I'm okay with that. That's why I live with a director. I don't want to be one.

00:29:06 Speaker_03
But I honestly enjoy the producerial side of giving my opinion, putting my time in. I mean, I feel like I'm going to be a forever writer in the way that I sort of just like haphazardly became a writer at SNL. They just make you write.

00:29:23 Speaker_03
You don't have a choice. And no one really says, hey, you're a writer now. You're just like, I'm writing my sketches. I don't have a choice. And it's really the only way to survive. So I think I'll continue to create what I do.

00:29:37 Speaker_03
But the directing part, I like to sit down and eat my lunch, you know?

00:29:42 Speaker_05
I'd like to be a guest at the party, not host it.

00:29:44 Speaker_03
Yeah, it's so stressful. And I love when people love doing it. And I love to be a part of that. But I feel like there was a point in my life where I thought like, I'm going to do this and I'm going to do that. And then once I started realizing I don't

00:29:59 Speaker_03
I'm not good at everything, and that's okay. I'm sort of like, yeah, there's no shame in that game.

00:30:05 Speaker_07
My recollection of Maya on Up All Night is just like, we'd be shooting, shooting all day, and we'd be like, lunch, and then her dressing room was next to mine, and then I'd knock on the door and be like, are we still shooting that scene after lunch?

00:30:16 Speaker_07
I mean, oh, I'm done with it. I'd be feeling the same way. I'd be like, I don't know. We both had little kids and I'm like, I don't know.

00:30:23 Speaker_03
I was nursing. Remember, I was nursing. Oh, yeah. Like, the baby was in the room. I was pumping and I was sweating all the time. Was that Jack who was just born? It was Jack, yeah. He just turned nine.

00:30:35 Speaker_08
I want to ask you a serious question. I don't know if I'm going to get through it with my co-host, but here we go.

00:30:40 Speaker_07
Okay, hang on. Let me get the stopwatch and go.

00:30:45 Speaker_08
Your mom so sadly passed away when you were younger. I think you were six, seven, eight years old, something like that.

00:30:51 Speaker_03
In the wheelhouse, yes.

00:30:52 Speaker_08
Yeah, in that wheelhouse. And you're such an incredible mom, as I've seen firsthand. It always seems like your children comes first, which is the correct thing to do. Thank you.

00:31:01 Speaker_00
And before anything else.

00:31:02 Speaker_08
And you're always present and it's what every kid wants. But does any part of you, when you were starting to have kids, did you have one of those real human fears of, oh my God, what if what happened to me happens to my children and I'm not around?

00:31:17 Speaker_08
Is that going to happen?

00:31:18 Speaker_03
Oh, I'm still not sure that I'm doing this correctly and I get weirded out all the time that I'm 48 and my mom was only 31 when she died and I'm like, now what? How did I get to be older than my mother? It's so crazy.

00:31:34 Speaker_03
I don't know how the hell we're all adults to begin with, let alone responsible for other people and in relationships and families. It's crazy.

00:31:46 Speaker_05
What's your perfect ratio of work to parenting? Like, what are you doing today aside from this?

00:31:56 Speaker_03
That's a great question, I appreciate that question. I'm gonna do a little voiceover work later on this afternoon.

00:32:02 Speaker_06
Who are you working for?

00:32:04 Speaker_03
I'm working for a wonderful production called Bless the Hearts by our friend Emily Spivey. I love that, I love Emily Spivey. Oh bless the hearts. She's up the night with.

00:32:14 Speaker_06
Are they looking for any new characters or? God, that's good.

00:32:21 Speaker_03
That's really good. Damn. It was sexy, but also a little bit scary.

00:32:26 Speaker_06
Oh, this guy.

00:32:27 Speaker_03
And a little bit sad, like a little bit like... Well, you know why?

00:32:31 Speaker_06
Because he's had a few, even though it's Wednesday. He said he wouldn't, but he did.

00:32:37 Speaker_03
I thought he was constipated. He sounds a little... No, he had a few. He sounds like he needs water.

00:32:41 Speaker_05
When ain't nobody was looking, he had a few. Or he's a self-asphyxiator there in the jack shack.

00:32:46 Speaker_03
Oh, boy. You know what's funny? I did write, in the time that we've been on this, I did write a theme song for the Jack Shack, and it's called, Jack Shack, shacking it up. Jack Shack, you can shack it.

00:32:59 Speaker_01
Jack Shack, shacking it up. Jack Shack, shacking it up. Shack!

00:33:05 Speaker_06
Get your jack on. I love the end. The end is shacking it up.

00:33:10 Speaker_08
Shack!

00:33:15 Speaker_05
I wish we had an animated portion of this show. It'd be so good.

00:33:18 Speaker_07
Maya used to do this character. We were going to do a video and I was going to be this French... Pop the cork. Pop the cork. And I was DJ Metro. It's a French rapper.

00:33:28 Speaker_07
And it's just Maya and she's in just like, she's in Saint Tropez and she's in, you know, Italy.

00:33:32 Speaker_04
I like to celebrate. Pop the cork. Pop the cork. We would just say like, London. Pop the cork. Dubai.

00:33:45 Speaker_05
I want to see you doing all these characters every week again, damn it. I know.

00:33:51 Speaker_03
I should answer your question because you bring something up, which is that I do every once in a while go, God, I should do that show. Or I should, when you were asking about creating and stuff, like, oh yeah, I should create this show.

00:34:02 Speaker_03
And then I'm like, what am I saying? Then I'll never be home. I can't do that. But I'm lucky enough to have a lot of talented friends and I'll do like a little bit here and a little bit there.

00:34:13 Speaker_05
And that's plenty for you. That's enough.

00:34:14 Speaker_03
It's plenty. Sometimes I spread myself too thin and then every once in a while I'll say, no, now I'm ready to get back in the saddle and do it. But I also like to go home sometimes.

00:34:24 Speaker_05
Have you been courageous enough to play with the idea of an empty nest at some point, sometime deep, deep in the future? I say that because I have. And it just, as much as I am, I love to be out and working. I love my kids. I love that they are here.

00:34:43 Speaker_05
And I think I'm going to be a mess when they go to college. You have that times two, right? Because I got two kids, you got four.

00:34:49 Speaker_03
Yeah, and when one of the kids isn't home and they're at a friend's house or something, you feel like, there's no one here, the house is so quiet, and it's just strange. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what I'm gonna do.

00:34:59 Speaker_03
But maybe that's a good time to move back to New York and start all over again.

00:35:04 Speaker_05
Yeah, there you go.

00:35:06 Speaker_03
Go see Puppetry of the Penis with Ali.

00:35:08 Speaker_05
Yeah, just do some sort of a sequel to Puppetry of the Penis. What would that be called?

00:35:13 Speaker_08
I wanna go back to the question I had about- We'll come back on that. 30 minutes ago.

00:35:19 Speaker_07
Yeah, Sean, definitely tee up another real question. Go ahead, Sean. What's number two?

00:35:25 Speaker_08
I want to know, because I want to know these things.

00:35:27 Speaker_07
I know you do, and you know what, by the way? Good for you. Thanks, guys.

00:35:30 Speaker_03
I know, it's very responsible. I feel like you brought me in and you're like, I have to ask her real questions or she's dead.

00:35:36 Speaker_08
Yeah, otherwise it's like, they're just bits, which I love.

00:35:39 Speaker_03
I don't care. You don't have to ask me anything real. Listen, you can ask me anything you want.

00:35:43 Speaker_08
I love it. And so I want to know how you feel about me. No, I want to know.

00:35:48 Speaker_08
I want to know, like, because way back, 30 minutes ago, when I was talking about Saturday Night Live, and how you've helped create that institution that it is, everybody wants to know, what was it like getting the gig that you always dreamed of getting?

00:36:00 Speaker_08
Like, what was it like the first week? Is it like the first week of school? And were you nervous? And, like, how did you navigate around that?

00:36:07 Speaker_03
That was crazy because I came in at the end of the 25th season and I had this really lame situation where I listened to like a bad manager. I was so young. And she said, don't audition. The new contracts are really binding. And I went, oh, okay.

00:36:23 Speaker_03
Like a fucking idiot. And so I did an audition, and then long story short, I was lucky enough that they asked me to come and do the last three shows.

00:36:31 Speaker_03
So it was more like trial by fire, but it was the end of the season, so everyone knew each other already. It was like joining a school year with three weeks left.

00:36:40 Speaker_03
So I didn't know anybody, and everybody knew where to sit, and the cafeteria kind of feeling, it just felt really bad and scary.

00:36:48 Speaker_05
I didn't know that. You did not audition? No. So were you a part of the writing staff and they wanted to put you then on camera?

00:36:54 Speaker_03
No, it was really confusing. It wasn't clear. They brought me and Zach Galifianakis, and I think it was Jerry Minor. I think we were the three people that they brought out for this three-week trial period, but Zach and I didn't know what was going on.

00:37:12 Speaker_03
Zach said they brought... He had auditioned and then he said, like, they brought me out But they were just auditioning him as a writer, and he was really like, I don't know what's happening. We were a little bit confused.

00:37:24 Speaker_07
Did Zach do the shows?

00:37:25 Speaker_03
He wrote for three weeks. He and I shared an office, and we were both, like, scratching our heads, like... I didn't know that either. What are we doing? I had no idea.

00:37:32 Speaker_08
See, assholes, it's good I ask questions like that.

00:37:35 Speaker_05
It is good. You know what, Sean? Great question. Great question, Sean. Can you string two together?

00:37:42 Speaker_08
Well, that seems like it's very difficult.

00:37:48 Speaker_05
I can't believe we've gotten to 30 minutes in and we haven't asked you whether you're excited or dreading the whole Kamala Harris for the next probably 12 years.

00:37:58 Speaker_03
Can I just say, wouldn't that be a nice problem to have instead of this fucking shit pile of shit mountain that we're living on?

00:38:07 Speaker_07
We just had her on the show.

00:38:08 Speaker_03
You did?

00:38:08 Speaker_07
Literally the day before it was announced that she was on the ticket with Bonnie.

00:38:12 Speaker_03
She's pretty fantastic.

00:38:13 Speaker_07
She's awesome. She's amazing.

00:38:15 Speaker_03
There's nothing there that isn't cool. It's like, hey, do you wanna play a cool superhero? Like, yeah, sure, I'm good. You know this, you get to be Batman, and it's fun. It's fun to be a cool person. What am I gonna do?

00:38:28 Speaker_08
That's kinda what I'm known for, Batman. Oh, you're talking about Will?

00:38:30 Speaker_05
But once the, as Will calls it, the hoax virus goes away, you're gonna have to fly back and forth to New York all the time. Are you going to be happy about that? That could get burdensome.

00:38:43 Speaker_03
I don't know. I really am, I think I'm a little bit in denial of what is happening in the world and what's going to happen. I mean, is there going to be a live show?

00:38:54 Speaker_07
Doesn't matter, you know what's gonna happen. Maya, let's not play this game, we both know this game.

00:38:58 Speaker_03
I like to play hard to get, well.

00:39:02 Speaker_05
You don't have to start wiggling when you say that, Maya.

00:39:05 Speaker_03
I still have my exercise tank on. I haven't exercised yet.

00:39:09 Speaker_05
I haven't showered, I haven't even showered yet. You're shy. I need to take a shower, you don't want any of this.

00:39:18 Speaker_02
Uh-oh. Do you guys want Chinese chicken salads for lunch? Everybody? Everybody? Everybody's Chinese chicken salad? Let's get chin-chin. I want chin-chin.

00:39:30 Speaker_08
Is chin-chin still around?

00:39:32 Speaker_02
Yes.

00:39:32 Speaker_08
I get it all the time, and it's so fattening, I call it double chins.

00:39:35 Speaker_03
Chin-chin is still the best. Just the Chinese chicken salad. I don't think I've ever had anything else.

00:39:41 Speaker_07
It's the best. But you know that the conversation that's happening right now is, so Maya will come and do this show. She'll come Saturday, and then she'll come the next Saturday, and so Maya will come.

00:39:51 Speaker_08
That's Will's attempt at Lorne Michaels impression, everybody.

00:39:54 Speaker_03
Wisconsin. Wisconsin.

00:39:55 Speaker_07
He says, Sean, they don't need to know. Not everybody needs to know everything.

00:39:58 Speaker_03
Lorne Michaels is my forever boss. I just decided the other day, he's my forever boss. He'll always be my boss. He'll be my friend, but no matter whether I ever work there again, he'll always be my forever boss.

00:40:09 Speaker_08
Mia Rudolph, you've been incredible.

00:40:13 Speaker_03
It's Mia Randolph.

00:40:14 Speaker_08
Here comes Mia Randolph. Question three, get ready. No, this is no more questions. I was gonna wrap it up because I know you have kids to take care of.

00:40:21 Speaker_03
Oh, you mean diapers to change? Scotty!

00:40:27 Speaker_05
No, there's no more in diapers, right? You're done with diapers. I'm done with diapers. Yeah.

00:40:31 Speaker_08
So, I can't thank you enough for being here, and we love you very, very, very much.

00:40:35 Speaker_05
I love you very much. That was way too short.

00:40:37 Speaker_08
And even though we don't get to speak that often, I think about you all the time.

00:40:43 Speaker_03
Really? Like all the time?

00:40:44 Speaker_08
Yeah.

00:40:45 Speaker_03
Hey, guys. That was so convincing. That was so convincing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, Sean. I do.

00:40:54 Speaker_08
I really do.

00:40:55 Speaker_03
I think about you all the time. You're always such a sweet little cookie puss.

00:40:59 Speaker_08
Can you sing the Jack Shack song one more time as our sign-off?

00:41:01 Speaker_01
Jack Shack, shinging it up. Jack Shack, it's totally crispy. Jack Shack, 100%. 100% Jack Shack and a Jack. It's totally crispy.

00:41:18 Speaker_07
It's totally crispy.

00:41:21 Speaker_03
Think about it. It could be.

00:41:24 Speaker_07
Box of used socks sold separately.

00:41:26 Speaker_05
I was gonna say, this should be a sock sponsor to that. Maya, super, super nice of you to do this.

00:41:33 Speaker_03
That was really fun, you guys. It's nice to see you. This is one of those days where when I'm dying and I'm laying there shriveled up, I'm going to think about today and I'm going to have a big smile on my face.

00:41:44 Speaker_07
Oh, look at that. Likewise, likewise. Love you, Maya. You're the best. You're the best.

00:41:50 Speaker_01
You're the best, man.

00:41:53 Speaker_05
Thank you, Maya.

00:41:54 Speaker_01
Bye, guys. Enjoy the rest of your day.

00:41:55 Speaker_03
So nice to see you all.

00:41:57 Speaker_05
Bye. See you later. Bye.

00:42:00 Speaker_03
by Tongues Included.

00:42:05 Speaker_08
She winged that song and it's going to be in my head for the rest of the day.

00:42:08 Speaker_07
Jack, Jack. We were working on Up All Night, whatever, 10 years ago. And she said, what did you do this week? And I said, I spent most of the weekend in my Jack Jack. And she was so enamored. She loved that idea. She thought it was the grossest expression.

00:42:23 Speaker_07
And she used to bring it up all the time. She's like, how's your Jack Jack?

00:42:28 Speaker_08
Hey, is your jack shack taken this weekend?

00:42:30 Speaker_07
I got it on Airbnb now.

00:42:33 Speaker_08
Yeah, good. Anyway, I love her. We love her. I'm so glad. By the way, she's the kind of guest that we have on that we can just completely be ourselves and fuck around and it's so fun.

00:42:45 Speaker_07
She could guest host the show with us at any time. Yeah. Because she's so funny and so... and we love her and know her, and she's got such an ease and comfort, and she's just, everything about her is the fucking best. I love hanging out with Maya. Yes.

00:42:57 Speaker_07
When I hosted Kimmel a couple years ago, and... Oh, here we go. Yep. And the ratings spiked. The point is this. I don't even know if sweeps are a thing, but I know it was a big deal to Jimmy, and it got him a new contract.

00:43:12 Speaker_07
I don't even know how I started on this story, but the point is... I needed a guest and I said, remember Jimmy's son was in the hospital and stuff and last night I went in there and I needed a guest.

00:43:23 Speaker_07
I was like, who can you count on in a pinch to come in and be funny and available? And Maya happened to drive by at that moment. No, I called Maya because, yeah, because she's incredibly funny and quick and she saved my ass. She made me look good.

00:43:38 Speaker_07
Yeah, she's always there. Jason, have you ever worked with her?

00:43:41 Speaker_05
Yeah, she was on SNL the one time I hosted way back when, but I would love to, and I was serious. I have talked about her a lot in anything that I have half a say in. I've always wanted to more and more and more.

00:43:56 Speaker_05
I don't like what the kids are doing to her life and my ability to see her on camera more often. So I'd love to talk to her about that. Maybe finding another place for those kids to live would be best for me.

00:44:09 Speaker_07
Sure, yeah, that's a start. You should call Dave Becky and put a light of fire under his ass, you know?

00:44:14 Speaker_05
Well, maybe Dave could babysit the kids and book her on a couple more things?

00:44:19 Speaker_08
That'd be great. Dave Becky is her manager.

00:44:20 Speaker_05
Thank you. Oh, Jesus. Thanks, Sean. Thanks, Sean. That's my Wisconsin accent.

00:44:26 Speaker_07
Hey, thanks. Hey, guys, don't worry about it. I got it all sorted out. I just heard Sean said that Dave Becky's her manager, okay?

00:44:33 Speaker_05
Yeah, no, Sean just straightened it out.

00:44:35 Speaker_07
He straightened it out for us out here, okay? Don't worry, Dave. I guess he's some kind of Hollywood manager.

00:44:42 Speaker_08
Anyway, great guest. I love her. I love you guys. Bye!

00:44:45 Speaker_07
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Sean. Bye.