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Episode: QUITTER!

Author: Distractible
Duration: 01:01:54

Episode Shownotes

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Full Transcript

00:00:00 Speaker_02
This episode is brought to you by McDonald's. There are a lot of fraternal twins out there. Now McDonald's is dropping on us a twin we never expected. Have you boys heard about the Chicken Big Mac? The what? What does that mean?

00:00:12 Speaker_02
Two chicken patty, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, and pickles on a sesame seed bun.

00:00:17 Speaker_03
The special sauce that they only use for the Big Mac to have it on a new sandwich?

00:00:23 Speaker_02
Yeah, the Chicken Big Mac. It's not not a Big Mac. Get it while you can at participating McDonald's for a limited time. This podcast is brought to you by PayPal. The discussions on this podcast may not always be the smartest, but you know what is smart?

00:00:36 Speaker_02
The new PayPal.

00:00:38 Speaker_03
I don't have a joke. I literally use PayPal all the time.

00:00:41 Speaker_04
I actually also just use it.

00:00:42 Speaker_03
I don't know how to make that funny though.

00:00:44 Speaker_04
Like all my funny stories are about when things don't work. You know, when a fridge destroys my entire house, that sort of thing.

00:00:49 Speaker_02
It's okay guys. You could just say that PayPal is smart. That's fine.

00:00:52 Speaker_03
No, no, no. It's like, it's like a money catapult that throws your money at the people that need it.

00:01:01 Speaker_02
Yes, that's good. You guys did great because you can pay with PayPal everywhere online and in-store. It is great. And you'll even earn 5% cash back on up to $1,000 spent in a category you choose each month when you pay with the PayPal debit card.

00:01:15 Speaker_02
Make sure you check out the new PayPal. Every payment, everywhere, every time. Don't just pay. PayPal. This card is issued by the Bancorp Bank, N.A. pursuant to a license by MasterCard International, Inc. and may be used everywhere MasterCard is accepted.

00:01:27 Speaker_04
This episode of Distractible is brought to you by Amazon. Did you know the holidays are in like, like a little bit, like coming up?

00:01:34 Speaker_02
Which is why I wait till about, I don't know, December 10th and I go online and then I'm like, the first thing I find that makes me think of somebody, I'm like, buy it, send it, ship it, done.

00:01:45 Speaker_04
Does it really matter how you gift? I don't think so. There's something for everyone on Amazon.

00:01:49 Speaker_03
Shop Black Friday week starting November 21st for deals on toys, home, sports, outdoor and more at amazon.com slash holiday deals.

00:01:57 Speaker_00
Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractible. This episode, waddling Wade believes burning and drowning creates a balance, refuses to reven, and then asks for defeats.

00:02:09 Speaker_00
Merciful Mark angelically provides palliative care, gets naked on set, and mound pounds but still can't sign. Blunderbuss Bob is petrified of possums, slices up his steed, refuses a rock career, and declines Deutsch.

00:02:25 Speaker_00
From harrowing images to megalophobia. Yes! It's time for Quitter. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

00:02:41 Speaker_02
Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Distractible. I'm today's host, Wade. Why? Because I won the last episode. Welcome to the show where one of us hosts, the other two compete for points on whatever game the host wants to play.

00:02:52 Speaker_02
The winner, who usually has to have the most points at the end, will host the next episode. And as always, my two co-hosts, Mark and Bob, are here. Hello.

00:03:00 Speaker_04
Hello. I don't know why, but I thought you were going to say the winner usually is Bob. Just been on a roll lately. You know, it just feels good. We're really killing it. I don't know if we should disagree to that. That doesn't seem quite right now.

00:03:12 Speaker_04
That's how it is.

00:03:13 Speaker_02
It's true. Confidence right there. He's just already proclaiming himself the winner. Yeah, well, I just figured. All right. Well, welcome to the show where the winner is usually Bob. Thank you. And Mark and I are also here. Well, all right. You know what?

00:03:24 Speaker_02
I'm not going to fight it.

00:03:25 Speaker_03
It's very gracious of you guys to participate in the show that I win so much. I appreciate that. Yeah. Well, what about this? That is the least confident way I could ever say anything, ever.

00:03:39 Speaker_02
Well, what about this?

00:03:40 Speaker_03
What about THIS? Oh. What the f- What the shit? I don't know, I just saw the sunlight. Oh no. For anyone listening, you're not missing out on much.

00:03:50 Speaker_03
There's a poster in Japan, I believe, and there's a baby saying something in Japanese, but it has received a lot of direct sunlight for a very long time.

00:04:00 Speaker_03
But the way that it has kind of burned the image just feels like this baby is slowly shifting into a horrifying demon baby.

00:04:08 Speaker_04
A little bit. I like that it appears in the third version where it's the most demony. The text is still perfectly bright red and crisp. Like someone came and was like, oh, I'll just repaint over this text to make sure they can still read our sign.

00:04:21 Speaker_04
Yeah, it's it's really something.

00:04:24 Speaker_02
I thought the sun would wash the image a little bit, not give them like goth makeup.

00:04:30 Speaker_04
The things that are dark are the eyes and the mouth because the mouth is open. It looks like the dark ink is bleeding for whatever reason. Maybe it gets a lot of rain and sun or something.

00:04:40 Speaker_03
Yeah. Anyway, that's got to be worth some points, right?

00:04:44 Speaker_02
I'll mark something.

00:04:45 Speaker_03
Alright! I'll listen to the strokes and hear how many points I'm getting. Zero points is what I heard. I didn't hear anything, yeah. I got the world's most quiet pen. Can you write louder?

00:05:02 Speaker_04
Well, that was like five. I'm not worried. I usually win these. Is that the episode? Are we just putting? Are we sharing pictures? Because I can probably find some stuff.

00:05:10 Speaker_02
Whatever you all want, I guess. This is just the opening small talky bit. How are you guys while you're looking up pictures of something?

00:05:18 Speaker_03
Good. I have a sad story if I want to pile on to my winning streak.

00:05:22 Speaker_02
So far, we have confidence. We have horror. We have despair. What else you got? I got a true story.

00:05:28 Speaker_03
Very sad. Well, those are always sad. Can I tell it? I don't know if I have permission.

00:05:34 Speaker_02
Well, yes, you have permission. OK.

00:05:37 Speaker_03
All right. So yesterday, Chica went outside and she was really sniffing around this. We were thrown out a weighted blanket. It was not a very good weighted blanket. So the weights inside kind of shifted and it's terrible. So we're throwing it out.

00:05:52 Speaker_03
And so she was really interested in something in this blanket. And we're like, did a A mouse get in there or something, like a rat trapped in there.

00:06:00 Speaker_03
So I go over there and I shoo her away and I take a look and I just peer around, see a little fuzzy tail, tiny. And I look and it's like, oh no, there's a dead. It wasn't a squirrel, it was smaller than that.

00:06:11 Speaker_03
It was like a chipmunk with a long tail or like maybe a small squirrel. So I go inside, I try to find something. I'm going to dispose of the body, get Chica inside. I go back out there. It's still breathing.

00:06:21 Speaker_03
I get close and I look and it's still breathing. I'm just, I sit there and I look at it for a very long time and it just like, it's barely moving, like barely moving, but I can see that it's breathing.

00:06:32 Speaker_03
And I was almost like, oh man, should I put it out of its misery? And it gave out this tiny little like squeak, like the tiniest, little, littlest, iddiest bit of squeak. And I went, holy shit. So I get it up off the ground.

00:06:42 Speaker_03
Um, I don't know if it's like sick or something or anything like that. So I'm trying to be careful. You know, I pick it up with like a piece of cardboard. I put it in a thing with like some blanks being like, maybe it's

00:06:51 Speaker_03
maybe it's cold maybe like because it wasn't too hot last night but it was colder it was on the ground and maybe it got like stuck under the weighted blanket somehow like it was trying to find you know a burrow it fell on top of it i don't know what happened i get it in there and it's like it's there i'm like does it need

00:07:07 Speaker_03
water or something. So I take a little, little straw and I dab at the tiniest drop of water, like right here on its lip. I don't know if this is the right thing to do, but I'm like, if it was exhausted all night, it responded to it.

00:07:17 Speaker_03
It was, it didn't seem like it was dying, but it almost like reached up as if it was like a fucking water. And so I gave it a few more and it started to recover. And this, this chipmunk looked old.

00:07:28 Speaker_03
Like it had really a lot of gray in the rest of its fur, big white stripes across his face.

00:07:34 Speaker_02
It doesn't necessarily mean anything.

00:07:36 Speaker_03
sure for sure for sure but for like a outdoor animal it did look like it was probably aged a bit so i kept giving it water i wrapped it up in a little blanket and tried to like keep it warm and it started to like recover more and more to the point where it saw me and went oh

00:07:52 Speaker_03
Whoa, what the fuck? And so I left it alone for a bit. I put it outside of a window where I could see it and I just kept watching and I gave it some more water. I eventually gave it a little dish and tried to put some seeds out there.

00:08:02 Speaker_03
I brought it inside because there were some gardeners coming and they were going to, you know, leaf blowers and all that. I didn't want that to bother it.

00:08:09 Speaker_03
And so I was inside and it actually got to the point where it was like, it looked like it was trying to like get comfortable in the blankets, like it was, it was uncomfortable. So I was like, Oh, it's okay. I tried to leave it as long as I can.

00:08:19 Speaker_03
And I step away for five minutes. And I came back. And in that time, like, like just in that time, it passed away. Like I missed it by that much. Oh, and I was I was really, really broken up about it. Because not that I didn't expect it.

00:08:32 Speaker_03
It was just like, man, it was probably on his last leg anyway, you know, old and exhausted. It was it was super weird because it recovered enough to the point where it freaked out at first to me.

00:08:41 Speaker_03
And then I was like, trying to like, take care of it a little more. I wasn't giving any more water at that point. I was like, if it wants water, there's a dish it can kind of crawl around a little bit.

00:08:49 Speaker_03
But yeah, it just like, stepped away and I came back and it was, you know, just at some point there. I didn't know chipmunk CPR. So I didn't try that or anything. But it I just had hoped that it was comfortable.

00:09:02 Speaker_03
It was just a weird little, little moment to connect with nature a little bit. So Yeah, it's weird how quickly I went from like, oh no, a dead animal to like, holy shit. Uh, I guess I'll try, you know, but who knows what you can do.

00:09:15 Speaker_02
Yeah, I had a pet mice for a while. I think I told the story about the female mouse.

00:09:19 Speaker_02
I watched her pass away and it was something similar where she got to a point where I was watching and she could barely move and she was like making this little like whine noise and then she just kind of like collapsed. It was very sad.

00:09:27 Speaker_02
I mean, what can you do? You tried, which is nice, but ultimately.

00:09:31 Speaker_03
At least it wasn't on the cold, hard ground trapped under a weighted blanket, you know.

00:09:35 Speaker_02
Or being eaten by a dog, yeah.

00:09:37 Speaker_03
I mean, Chica was, like, excitedly looking at it, sniffing close. I don't think that she did anything to it, because it didn't seem like it had, you know, it didn't seem like it had a broken bone or anything like that.

00:09:48 Speaker_03
It just seemed like it had been fighting a weighted blanket and got exhausted. So, I feel partially responsible to, like, dumping the weighted blanket there, to not doing something, but I guess, you know.

00:09:58 Speaker_03
All I said, you know, after I did a little burial, you know, Amy got some flowers and we actually buried it outside and put some flowers over it. And I was just like, I hope you hope you were at least comfortable.

00:10:08 Speaker_03
I'm sure you did a great many chipmunk things and dust to dust, earth to earth, plop, threw some dirt on it.

00:10:14 Speaker_02
Gave it the weighted blanket.

00:10:16 Speaker_03
Yeah, I figured you'd like that.

00:10:18 Speaker_02
Buried it in the weighted blanket that killed it. It's like the hamster I buried in the shoebox that killed it.

00:10:23 Speaker_03
This is a very sweet moment. It took like six hours out of my morning, but I don't know. It seemed worth it.

00:10:29 Speaker_02
That's nice. I'll give you a made chipmunk comfortable point.

00:10:32 Speaker_03
Oh, thanks. I think it was a chipmunk. It might have just been like a very small. Well, did it look like Alfin or? Yeah, except, you know, it had a long. Oh, yeah. No, a Townsend's chipmunk. That's exactly what it was. Did you tell Townsend what happened?

00:10:45 Speaker_03
Uh, maybe. You killed Townsend's chipmunk? I might have, you know, guys. Oh, yeah, maybe, maybe actually, you know, it might not have been old. I see these the picture of these specific chipmunks, which is what it looked like.

00:10:56 Speaker_03
It does have big white stripes. So maybe maybe it wasn't as old. Oh, no, no. Some of these other ones have like not as much white like across their head. This one's whole head also was like all half gray. So who knows? Or maybe not. I don't know.

00:11:09 Speaker_02
Well, it either was or wasn't a chipmunk, and it was or wasn't old. No, it was chipmunk, for sure. And now it is or isn't dead, so it was buried alive or dead.

00:11:17 Speaker_03
No, I, uh, I made sure. I mean, I saw it when it was... No, not like that. Are you a dead little guy?

00:11:27 Speaker_03
No, I mean, I saw it when it was almost dead at first, and then it had recovered, and then, um, literally by the time I came back, it was very clear it had passed. That's fair. So who knows? Maybe it wasn't old at all.

00:11:38 Speaker_02
Bob, you throw anything away that killed any innocent creatures, like the plastic on six packs of cans or anything like that?

00:11:44 Speaker_04
Oh, I love I take those rings off cans and stuff, and I just I hurl them joyously into the nature just because I know something's going to get stuck in there.

00:11:54 Speaker_04
You ever see turtles swimming around with the big plastic rings around their one leg in their neck? That was me, baby. Hmm.

00:12:01 Speaker_04
That whole time Mark was telling that story, I was trying to come up with a joke about like, oh yeah, I found a baby next to my trash can. A human baby. I couldn't. I think, yeah, no, it's probably good that you didn't.

00:12:16 Speaker_02
So we got some flowers and dug a hole.

00:12:18 Speaker_03
I found a guy face down. He was in his 60s, maybe. I don't know. He looked kind of old. And before anyone gets on my case, yes, I washed my hands a lot. No, I didn't handle it directly, you know, in case it was sick or something.

00:12:30 Speaker_03
I took precautions, but also at the same time, I was just like, it's just a cute little guy or girl or whatever.

00:12:36 Speaker_02
Looks up, just frothing foam at the mouth.

00:12:41 Speaker_04
I don't know what I would have done, but we did have that one time where there was a possum. I think it was a relatively young or a baby possum we found in our yard. Lexi found in our yard in California.

00:12:52 Speaker_04
It was already dead because it had been like a cold, rainy night. And I don't know what happened, but it had some kind of injury. Something happened. And I don't think it was Lexi because she's scared of everything.

00:13:01 Speaker_04
But if it had been alive, I don't know what I would have done because possums scare me. Chipmunk not so scary, but still like, yeah, you don't want to touch it too much. You don't know if it's how healthy it is or whatever, but I don't know, man.

00:13:13 Speaker_04
That's very brave. Hopefully he had a nice end of life.

00:13:16 Speaker_03
I hope so. You know, honestly, it didn't look that uncomfortable. You know, it didn't freak out too much. I wasn't around it all the time because I didn't want it just to look up and see just, are you okay, little buddy?

00:13:26 Speaker_03
You know, I didn't want to do that, but yeah, yeah, I guess I hope at least warm, you know, that's all I can hope for. Heck, maybe I drowned it trying to give it a little water. Who knows.

00:13:36 Speaker_04
Go inside. How to take care of Chickmunk. Never give water. Chickmunks don't drink water.

00:13:42 Speaker_03
It kills them. I did not drip into its mouth. I literally touched the tiniest drop of water to its lip. That's all I did.

00:13:52 Speaker_02
I got a washcloth and I soaked it in water, put it over its face, and then I got a water drip to make sure the washcloth didn't run out.

00:13:59 Speaker_04
Yeah, no, I didn't want to handle it too much, so I took two little strings and tied it to his back legs and sort of suspended him upside down over a slab.

00:14:10 Speaker_04
But I wanted him to have enough fresh water so he had to have a kind of trip going on, you know?

00:14:13 Speaker_03
Yeah, I ran the water down the string and it kind of ran over it, and so I figured it would get to its mouth eventually. And also it's like a shower, so, you know.

00:14:22 Speaker_02
I figured if half of him was underwater and the other half was on fire, they'd balance out. That's one normal chipmunk.

00:14:28 Speaker_04
Too far, man! Have you guys seen the meme about the instructions? It's like a person looking at an electronic thing and there's a voice that's like, all right, you should have found a black cable plugged into the back.

00:14:41 Speaker_04
And the person is like, ah, and like unplugs it. And the instruction is like, never unplug the black cable. And they're like, ah, and they plug it back in.

00:14:50 Speaker_04
And the instruction is like, if you already have unplugged the black cable, never plug it back in. I don't know why that just arrived. I guess the instructions. That's me.

00:15:03 Speaker_02
That's fair. No, you shouldn't light it on fire. But if you want to give it, you want to make sure it's warm while it's drinking water. You boil the water before you give it some. Make sure it's nice and hot.

00:15:11 Speaker_03
Yeah. Honestly, I'm shocked I even noticed that it was still breathing because it looked like. It was just eyes open, an ant was crawling over its eyeball. I was like, oh, this thing's dead. But then I saw it breathing. I was like, holy shit.

00:15:24 Speaker_03
So the fact that it even, like, got back up a little bit after all was, like, miraculous to me.

00:15:28 Speaker_02
Grabbed you by the collar and was just like, kill me.

00:15:33 Speaker_03
I need your help.

00:15:34 Speaker_04
You need to kill me. Anyway, that's it. Well, I don't have any stories that rival that. I have a normal life. It's a normal life. It's normal, I think. That's like some Disney main character shit right there.

00:15:47 Speaker_05
I don't know man.

00:15:49 Speaker_02
Do you have any Disney side character shit? Um, I'm secretly in love with one of my best friends. Well, okay, alright, go on. Let me get some tea. Hold on, I'm gonna go get the kettle on. Go on. Which one of us is it, Mark or me?

00:16:04 Speaker_04
I don't know, I couldn't think of any Disney side character stuff. I said best friends. Oh, well, this will make everyone sad. If we're telling sad stories, this will make five people sad. I'm selling the Subaru. I've talked about it a lot.

00:16:15 Speaker_04
I know I've done a lot of things, and there were some people who were really excited about it. Selling the Subaru. I'm putting it back to stock, which is an unbelievable pain in the ass, and I'm selling it. Sorry, everybody. Say bye to the Subaru.

00:16:28 Speaker_04
He go bye bye. You have to get it back to stock. I don't have to but the thing about modifying cars is like some dealerships won't touch a modified car, even if it's purely aesthetic stuff, because they don't trust you.

00:16:40 Speaker_04
Well, I have a dealer who will buy it for a decent price. But all the money I spent on all that stuff is worth way more than the price they're giving me for the car because they're essentially paying me like it's just a stock, whatever.

00:16:53 Speaker_04
And I paid for all these extra little bits. If I take them off, and sell them myself, I can recoup more of the cost of it than if I sell all the bits still attached to the car. But that takes effort.

00:17:05 Speaker_04
Yeah, it's a pain in the ass because I got to take off the bumper off. I got to take some stuff out of the wheel wells. There's just a lot of stuff of like.

00:17:13 Speaker_04
It's not hard, but it's like it's one of those things where the bumper especially doesn't go back on very easily. And it's not because it's not designed well.

00:17:20 Speaker_04
It's just like the nature of a thing that stays on a car when it's going highway speeds and bumps and everything. You have to get it slotted. And there's a part where there's

00:17:29 Speaker_04
You have to get a thing inside of two other things, but both of the two things are floppy. So you have to like line it up and get really lucky it slides in right and all that sort of shit, just like car stuff.

00:17:39 Speaker_04
Not that bad, but it's like rolling around on the floor of the garage, wrestling with floppy plastic parts, trying to get them all back together.

00:17:45 Speaker_03
Yeah, the thing I hate the most is disassembling something. Usually I do it after it doesn't work, so it's even more frustrating. But yeah, the disassembly is super annoying.

00:17:55 Speaker_04
I've not developed good habits at that. I've done this every time I've done a car project where I had to take it apart. I get really excited and I get everything in order and I have all the tools and everything I need.

00:18:04 Speaker_04
And then I'll just like, all right, I need to take this part off. And I just end up with a pile of random bullshit. And then when I go to put it back together, I'm like.

00:18:13 Speaker_04
Man, I wish I had taken a picture of that or put things in organized piles or I'm holding pieces on my car like, does this screw fit? Nope. Does this plastic piece? Nope. We'll see. We'll get it.

00:18:26 Speaker_04
Sure, I got a bunch of shit all mixed up in my trim pieces, but it's fine. It looks right. It's about right. Probably fine.

00:18:32 Speaker_02
Yeah.

00:18:32 Speaker_02
In a similar vein, I dug out a PlayStation 2 over the weekend, and we had a friend in town staying with us, and she took the whole thing apart, because, like, I had memory cards in it that were the plastic over the years, I guess, has weakened, it was just, like, crackling and falling apart in there.

00:18:47 Speaker_02
It went from working to not working, and she's like, well, I actually restore these just as, like, a hobby in my free time so I can take a look.

00:18:53 Speaker_02
So we took apart, like, an old PlayStation 2, and I watched all the innards of that get removed and put back together, and, like, a little... I didn't even know they had those little, like, um...

00:19:01 Speaker_02
Where those little round batteries called like you put like a watch battery type stuff flat flat disc battery Yeah, yeah those so I didn't know those had playstations had those in there lots of electronics have those in them coin batteries I think that's a coin battery.

00:19:13 Speaker_02
Yeah, I don't know much about it all but it was neat watching that take it apart and put back together

00:19:16 Speaker_03
Yeah, they've had those for a bit. I mean, old alkaline batteries, you know, that tech goes back a long time. They're not good, you know, but they they still work.

00:19:24 Speaker_04
Haven't you ever heard of original like Pokemon red and blue cartridges coming unusable? Because when the little disc battery that's in there croaks, it stops keeping time.

00:19:34 Speaker_04
And so every time you boot it up, it thinks it's like it just came into existence and it ruins your save file and stuff.

00:19:39 Speaker_02
Yeah, but you can replace those too. My sister and ex-boyfriend who helped me do that was like Pokemon Gold and Silver because there was a night-day cycle. So we literally popped it open to replace the battery and stuff. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's easy.

00:19:49 Speaker_02
We had to kind of like solder it in there or something. So we had to... It wasn't just like a simple pop out pop in. There was something else if I remember right, but that's been 20 years ago probably.

00:19:57 Speaker_02
I don't like talking about how long ago things were, because I'm like, yeah, I mean, I was in high school, so it had to be like five years. Not ten.

00:20:05 Speaker_04
Oh, you want to feel really depressed? What year did you start sixth grade?

00:20:08 Speaker_02
Well, that's easy. That's the year my dad died.

00:20:10 Speaker_04
Oh, well, that's easy to remember. That's lucky.

00:20:14 Speaker_02
Yeah, he died a week before school started, so it's like, oh dude, that's the easiest question you could ask.

00:20:18 Speaker_04
Sixth grade. I didn't even know that. What a great way to remember that so vividly. Anyway, that's 24 years ago. You could have been born then and you could still drink alcohol.

00:20:27 Speaker_02
Thanks, man.

00:20:28 Speaker_04
We're getting older. I don't know if you guys have heard.

00:20:31 Speaker_02
We are closer to 50 now than we are to 18. I could say closer to death. I mean, technically, yeah. We're closer to death now than we are to 18. I hope not. I hope we get a little bit more than that.

00:20:44 Speaker_04
I mean, time will tell, I guess. I don't know.

00:20:47 Speaker_02
I hope that's not an ominous prediction. Yeah, we're 15. Because at 34, I was like, OK, 16 years ago, 18, 16 years from now, 50. That's nuts. Now it's like, oh, we're closer to the big mound. 50, the big mound?

00:21:01 Speaker_03
The big mound, yes.

00:21:02 Speaker_05
Big mound.

00:21:03 Speaker_03
They call it pounding the mound, you know, when you hit 50. I'm about to pound the mound, guys.

00:21:10 Speaker_02
The cougar approached me at a bar one time. I was like, hey, would you like to pound the mound? I'm only 40. What are you talking about? Remember when that was Old Dose? Man, that wasn't that long ago. We were like, 40? Ugh. I'm only like 32.

00:21:22 Speaker_02
Get away from me, you skeleton. It doesn't bother me. I have no issues with it.

00:21:27 Speaker_04
Yeah, I've never thought that about people. People are weird about age, to be honest.

00:21:31 Speaker_02
I don't care either. I don't like looking like I'm 45 or 50, but I don't care about people's ages.

00:21:37 Speaker_04
My main concern is feeling old. I am. I mean, I don't know if you can tell I'm a little overweight, not in good shape. It really catches up to you. I regret that very deeply.

00:21:48 Speaker_03
Well, I mean, there's no time like the present to start, I guess. That's hard, though. I'll do it tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, you raise hard. I'm not doing it either.

00:21:57 Speaker_02
Yeah, my one day a week I was going to exercise was Tuesday, right when we record this podcast. I could not possibly fit my schedule. It's the only day of the week I had available. I've got sit on couch on Wednesday, Thursday. Can't beat sit on couch.

00:22:11 Speaker_02
Sit on couch Wednesday, you know.

00:22:13 Speaker_03
I stopped worrying, especially about getting older for a while ago, but you know, stop worrying about what other people think about getting older. Because I remember many years ago, I think I was like 27. Many years ago. It was, yeah.

00:22:24 Speaker_03
It's a while ago, bud. Sorry to tell you.

00:22:26 Speaker_03
But I was at some YouTube event or something, and I think Tyler was there too, so I might have told the story, but some other YouTuber was like, you know, we're talking, and they were sitting behind us, and eventually she asked, like, wait, how old are you guys?

00:22:38 Speaker_03
And I think it was like 27 or 28 or whatever it was. And then she just looks at both of us and goes like, you're so old. And I go, huh. All right.

00:22:50 Speaker_03
I think, I think at the time she was like 20 or 21, which I totally understand when you're that age, like as soon as you're about to hit 30, that's ancient, ancient, ancient, but then perspective changes.

00:23:00 Speaker_03
So at that point I was like, oh, okay, well, if I've already pounded the mound, I might as well just like embrace it. And you know, I'm now post mound. So.

00:23:07 Speaker_02
Yeah, you not worrying about age makes sense because you're the reason I feel old because you still look like you're 25 27 Meanwhile man the last five years when I had I went from hair solid brown beard to full cryptkeeper if you just find that long-lost son that you didn't know you had and drank his blood and

00:23:27 Speaker_02
I thought about having a kid just to drink their blood, but Molly's like, we're not having kids, you can suck their blood, you sicko.

00:23:33 Speaker_04
Why don't you explain to her that you would not be sucking it directly out of them, that it'd be more of like a harvest it and then consume it later elsewhere type of arrangement, or?

00:23:42 Speaker_02
Yeah, I even said, let's do two, so that way I can like alternate each day. That way they get a chance to get some new back.

00:23:48 Speaker_04
Or you could do two and you could have a real kid and an organs kid.

00:23:51 Speaker_03
You could have like a beer hat. Yeah, one in each of these and just two straws going right into your veins.

00:23:57 Speaker_02
It's like I go to the football game instead of the hat with the two beers. I got the hat with the two babies. Yeah.

00:24:03 Speaker_03
That's why I said beer hat, you know.

00:24:04 Speaker_04
Oh, I didn't hear the beer hat. That's the main crux of everything he just said. Hey, it's like that thing you said, but I'll say it louder. Man, wait, I can't believe you just had that idea. What inspired it?

00:24:16 Speaker_02
I just saw one of those at the Ren Faire, not with babies, but man, they had those hats there. I should have gotten one. They had beer hats at the Ren Faire?

00:24:23 Speaker_02
Oh yeah, they had like the Viking hat with the horns, but like the horns weren't full so you could sit beers in them. I see, because it was Viking weekend. Sure, that makes sense. I have nothing else to say about that. All right. Did you dress up?

00:24:37 Speaker_04
No. Oh, but Molly and our friend did. Well, why didn't you? That's the main reason I've never been to a Ren Faire is I don't have a costume and I wouldn't want to be the one nerd who's there not dressed up to go to the Ren Faire.

00:24:48 Speaker_02
Well, there's a lot of people that don't dress up, so you'd be fine. So they had costumes, but I didn't have, like, a matching one. And I was like, well, I do have, like, my Darth Revan cosplay. Your Han Solo jacket?

00:24:59 Speaker_02
Well, I've got that, but I've got a full, like, $1,300 Darth Revan cosplay that's pretty intricate. But the problem with it is the Jedi robe part hangs low enough where I was like, that's going to drag the ground and get all messy.

00:25:09 Speaker_02
The mask has, like, this one slit that, like, the Revan mask has that you can barely see out of. And it's very fucking hot and solid black. It was 82 degrees and like 100% humidity.

00:25:20 Speaker_02
So I was like, wearing all black that's gonna get all dirty, not being able to see while melting inside this thing. Sounds fucking terrible. People that do that kind of stuff, props.

00:25:29 Speaker_02
There was a guy in like full metal armor walking around that's like, or at least it looked metal. Like it was very well done if it wasn't. It looked very real.

00:25:37 Speaker_03
I mean, I'm sure it was. Probably easier to just make a metal one than fake that.

00:25:40 Speaker_03
that dude props because he had to have been dying because we were wearing like I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt and I was like it's so fucking hot today people that were cosplaying like props to you couldn't do it I wanted to be comfy I got used to heat being in that warehouse and I think people misunderstood when I said like oh man it was uh so hot in Texas this time it's only 95 we can go down or something did you miss the part where I was in an unconditioned un-air-conditioned warehouse with metal walls

00:26:05 Speaker_03
and the sun beating down on it. I can't tell you how much of that filming process I was naked. Like, I just, I really hope there isn't like an errant reflection somewhere in a pickup shot I was making.

00:26:18 Speaker_02
When the movie comes out, everybody look at every reflective surface.

00:26:24 Speaker_03
Editors, could you put some clothes on me for this scene? God, I did get used to it after a while. That is the strange thing. I got okay with it.

00:26:31 Speaker_03
I was still sweating like hell, but it was just like, I weirdly didn't get bothered by it, which I never thought would happen.

00:26:37 Speaker_02
Do that in the WUG suit and then let's talk.

00:26:39 Speaker_03
I don't know if I could do that. We tried to keep it cool. It was a desperate attempt.

00:26:44 Speaker_02
That's true. The first one, the first day, that was wild how fast that escalated, temperature-wise.

00:26:49 Speaker_03
Dude, that pirate costume from Heist. Man, that was death.

00:26:54 Speaker_02
And Pam, I wonder what she would say about her costume, reflecting back.

00:26:58 Speaker_04
Hey, I had to go outside to get craft services, so, and it was hot out, guys. I stripped down a t-shirt and shorts to go out there. It was still hot. I know what it's like.

00:27:10 Speaker_03
He's lying. Craft services on space was inside in an air-conditioned room.

00:27:15 Speaker_04
No, no, the lunch, the lunch thing that was outside.

00:27:18 Speaker_03
Oh, the lunch where you step outside to go get it and then come back inside.

00:27:22 Speaker_04
There was a line. We all aren't king of the production and have our lunch brought to us indoors, okay? I had to go pick my own.

00:27:33 Speaker_02
We ate outside one day and one of the guys working, I forget which guy it was, was sitting and eating, but I'm pretty sure his foot was on like a red ant hill. The fire ants were chewing on his ankle. You remember that? No, what?

00:27:45 Speaker_04
I remember you telling me that story. I didn't, I didn't see that happen.

00:27:48 Speaker_02
Mark. I thought, remember that we were sitting outside chatting and one of the guys that was working was like, started shaking his leg. And then like, he looked down, he had a bunch of fire ants all over his foot. I don't remember that at all.

00:27:57 Speaker_02
He was like, I think I'm done eating. And then we all were kind of like, yeah, us too. We're here and back inside. It's all blurred to me.

00:28:03 Speaker_03
We've all lived through heat, guys, so okay. After that show, I discovered they make this thing called cold shirt or something like that with like water cooling through it, where Pam could have been super comfortable the entire time.

00:28:15 Speaker_02
So could you during your warehouse. Instead, you're like Jim Carrey in the Rhinoceros trying to make your movie.

00:28:22 Speaker_03
I thought about that more than once in the middle of it. I really did.

00:28:26 Speaker_02
The door to the warehouse doesn't open, so you crawl out a tiny hole. People look over, there's a naked man falling out of a warehouse holding a camera.

00:28:33 Speaker_03
Well, that actually is funny because the door didn't close properly, but Phil had giant magnets, right? So big, powerful neodymium magnets. And there were three of them that kept the door closed.

00:28:44 Speaker_03
When they're in place, that door is really hard to open because it's a full metal door. So if I was like heat exhaustion and I tried to open it, I don't think I could have opened it. I might have died.

00:28:56 Speaker_02
Oh yeah, I'm hosting an episode. I thought we were just chatting. I kind of forgot. Everyone got so many points and we definitely have tons of time for everything I've got. This episode is brought to you by Iams Pet Food.

00:29:06 Speaker_02
Ever struggle trying to find the right pet food?

00:29:09 Speaker_03
I just let, you know, Chica and Henry outside and I'm assuming they like the dirt or something.

00:29:13 Speaker_04
You know, you could just go to the store and you could buy Iams dry dog or cat food. They will have healthy energy within five days, healthy digestion in 10 days, and healthy skin and coat in just 25 days. Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back.

00:29:27 Speaker_04
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00:29:31 Speaker_03
Visit iams.com slash difference to learn more. This episode is brought to you by Coca-Cola Creations. What happens when the best drink and the best cookie in the world get together? The best become besties!

00:29:42 Speaker_03
Let's taste the new Coca-Cola Oreo Zero Sugar Limited Edition.

00:29:46 Speaker_04
Mark, do you have yours? Are you excited?

00:29:47 Speaker_03
They sent us these special and then we're gonna try them. I've been in an undisclosed location kind of in a... Sucks to be you!

00:29:54 Speaker_02
Cheers, Bob!

00:29:55 Speaker_03
Yeah! I actually haven't had like a tasty treat in a while. It's been... It's like if Oreos was a drink, honestly.

00:30:02 Speaker_02
It's kind of an unexpected flavor, but it's almost like kind of like the icing of an Oreo.

00:30:06 Speaker_03
What do you think, Mark? Editors, put in the sound of me glugging. It's great, guys. So good. Try the new Coca-Cola Oreo Zero Sugar Limited Edition. Besties for a limited time. Taste it while it lasts. Copyright 2024, The Coca-Cola Company.

00:30:24 Speaker_03
Copyright 2024, Mondelez International Group.

00:30:32 Speaker_02
Oh, hey everyone. Welcome back to Wade and Mark and Bob just talked for a while. Did we just have a commercial break?

00:30:37 Speaker_04
I hope so. Otherwise, that was real confusing.

00:30:40 Speaker_02
Was it? Because I totally was just chatting with y'all and I kind of forgot I was supposed to be the host today.

00:30:44 Speaker_04
It's whatever. It's what we do here, kinda.

00:30:47 Speaker_02
Usually the host has something, but... Any other final comments before I definitely, properly segue into a topic? Pee-pee poo-poo. Great. Today, we're gonna talk about some things we- Very philosophical. What?

00:31:00 Speaker_04
It's very philosophical.

00:31:01 Speaker_02
Wade will love that. Pee-pee poo-poo can be. Like, what if- nevermind.

00:31:04 Speaker_04
Listen, not all pee-pees are poo-poos, but all poo-poos are pee-pees.

00:31:09 Speaker_02
I'll leave that to Reddit to discuss. Let's talk about the things that we didn't do in life, like opportunities we maybe didn't take. For example, I took my law school admission test, did pretty well, never applied to law school.

00:31:22 Speaker_02
Different sports, different activities, just things that we were on a path for or were doing in life that we kind of walked away from. Don't necessarily have to regret it or anything.

00:31:31 Speaker_02
It's just one of those things where it's kind of like contemplating the what ifs that we never contemplate.

00:31:35 Speaker_03
Didn't we do this?

00:31:36 Speaker_04
We've done like a what if episode, but this is more his last one was try new things. And it was like things that you tried that you liked. Surprisingly, we're surprised you liked or whatever. It's kind of like the inverse of that.

00:31:46 Speaker_03
But I thought in that episode, didn't we do the inverse of that?

00:31:48 Speaker_02
Things you like, the things you tried, you like things you didn't like. This is just things you were doing in life. Whether you liked it or not, you were doing it. In second grade, my mom put me into basketball. I was playing basketball for a while.

00:31:57 Speaker_02
I ultimately ended up liking it, which was cool. I was in a bowling league at one point. Didn't really care to continue that. But bowling league.

00:32:04 Speaker_02
Yeah, like first grade, there was like a bowling league and like my cousin and I were in like this bowling league where we just go and bowl.

00:32:11 Speaker_02
We were young, so they had like the gutter guards and stuff up, but we would just go and bowl and it was cool, I guess, but never really stuck with it. This is more so just things that we used to do that we don't do now.

00:32:22 Speaker_04
So you're looking for stuff that we failed at or gave up on?

00:32:25 Speaker_02
Or just moved on from like, not even necessarily like intentionally, just something like you used to do.

00:32:29 Speaker_04
Failed at, got it. Yeah, got it. OK, I get the assignment. I kind of did this, but I really quit right before I really lived the life. It feels weird that I was almost a musician because that feels like an entire other life now.

00:32:42 Speaker_04
I was very nearly I was in college. I was studying music. I was in a band. We were almost on America's Got Talent this close.

00:32:51 Speaker_04
We got called by one of their producers and then we just didn't make it because they had two bands and they picked the other band for the episode we were going to be on. But. We won Cincinnati Area Music Awards. I played live on stage with Foxy Shazam.

00:33:06 Speaker_04
Lead singer is Eric Nally. Foxy Shazam! The guy who sang the vocal track for Macklemore's Downtown. The guy who goes, Downtown! with a really, he's got like a really, really high voice, Eric Nally. He's from Cincy, I think.

00:33:21 Speaker_04
And, but the band Foxy Shazam is a Cincy band. That is his band that he was the front man for. I did all this cool stuff. And then I moved away and went to law school and never played another note of music in my entire life.

00:33:33 Speaker_04
Well hey, at least you made the right choice. Law school. And then I graduated law school and never used a law degree in my entire life.

00:33:41 Speaker_03
I never gave up on anything ever.

00:33:45 Speaker_02
I believe it. What's your bachelor's in? Hmm? Your bachelor's degree?

00:33:48 Speaker_03
Don't have it. Can't give up if you didn't get it.

00:33:50 Speaker_02
Weren't you a quarter away from getting it? Anyway, what else, man? Come on.

00:33:54 Speaker_04
He didn't give up. He finished. He just didn't earn the bachelor's degree when he finished. He just finished and was done.

00:34:00 Speaker_02
He got to his finish line, not their arbitrary one.

00:34:04 Speaker_03
Yeah, just because I was done and they weren't done with me doesn't mean that.

00:34:07 Speaker_02
Alternatively, I had like unfinished business written as like the thing to talk about.

00:34:11 Speaker_03
I had a friend in middle school, I believe. John Fletcher, you know, a John Fletcher.

00:34:18 Speaker_02
Yeah. Yeah. I remember him. Yeah.

00:34:20 Speaker_03
Yeah. So his, I believe his mother was deaf. So he knew sign language. Right. And so I was like, I'm going to learn sign language. That's so cool. That's awesome. I want to learn it. And so I took a, there was a class in middle school for some reason.

00:34:34 Speaker_03
It was like a very small class, but something like that. Seriously. I took John and I was like, teach me. You're to stay in my basement here. I'll teach me. Oh, you know, it's going to hear your cries for help.

00:34:44 Speaker_02
I have this weighted blanket in a box. You can sit. It's very comfortable and I'll teach. Want some water?

00:34:48 Speaker_03
Anyway, the only sign that I still remember to this day is slow down because he could, he would always sign way too fast. I was trying to understand. It's like, I couldn't even understand the rest of the signs. Just like fifth or sixth grade.

00:35:04 Speaker_05
I don't know.

00:35:07 Speaker_03
That's like, all I learned was like the alphabet. A, B, C, D, E. No, that's not right. I don't remember.

00:35:15 Speaker_02
You probably just said something terribly offensive to everyone right now in sign language.

00:35:18 Speaker_03
God, I hope so. But I've wanted to learn it ever since. I've never really given up the goal of wanting to learn it. I do, but at the same time it's like, oh man, that's a lot of learning. That's a lot of hand signals. So yeah, I gave up on that.

00:35:34 Speaker_02
I wish I'd taken Spanish more. I took like four and a half years of it. And I felt pretty comfortable. I still like listening. Like I was very slow at listening comprehension. I could speak it. Okay.

00:35:45 Speaker_02
Like I probably sounded like a first grader, but like, I felt like I at least could say coherent sentences, reading and writing to this day. I'm like, I can figure it out.

00:35:52 Speaker_02
Usually I'm like, oh, this, I don't know this verb, but otherwise this seems like the context. I can kind of put it together, but like speaking and listening never felt very strong.

00:35:59 Speaker_02
I told you guys about the convention where I was telling the lady like we needed a moment to change shirts and what she thought I was saying was to fold all of our dirty laundry. Yeah, and I imagine that being like eight years ago.

00:36:10 Speaker_02
Now it's only worse my skill level now, but I kind of wish I'd stuck with it and kept practicing and learning. I enjoyed speaking. I enjoyed Spanish, but yeah, sign language, Spanish, like I think another language. Are you still doing Korean?

00:36:21 Speaker_02
Are you still learning Korean?

00:36:22 Speaker_03
I haven't had a chance to actually study for about a year since I did this movie. I haven't had any time. But I haven't given up on it. That is something I'm gonna pick up relatively soon here, now that I have some free time.

00:36:32 Speaker_03
Losing out on a year of it, I hope I haven't lost anything else. But I've watched TV shows and I'm still basically at the same level of comprehension I was.

00:36:39 Speaker_02
Well, they had six updates, so it's a completely different language now. Oh, no. The DLC came out. I'm never gonna catch up. Do they have like a pay-to-win package in it, please? Uh, yeah, yeah, you can remove ads. They have a season pass.

00:36:52 Speaker_04
I was actually... only a couple classes away from having a minor in German in college. I was like really into German. I started German in middle school and I studied it all the way through like the middle of college.

00:37:05 Speaker_04
I guess it was when I switched out of music and stuff too. I was like, I give up on everything and just switched majors. I wish I had sort of stuck with German more because it's, I don't remember very much of it now, but it was fun.

00:37:16 Speaker_04
I was like reading German, not really basic stuff, but like German literature was one of the next classes I was going to take. I was kind of interested in that.

00:37:23 Speaker_03
Just gave up. Yeah, I know. I in college freshman year, actually, I took Spanish in high school, but I was like, I'm going to learn French. Yeah, I'm going to do that. So I went to the college bookstore and I was like, do you have a French book?

00:37:35 Speaker_03
He's like, yeah. Can I have it? Are you taking the class? I was like, no. I was like, all right, that'll be $200. And I at that point, I was so embarrassed that I was like, I'll take it. lay down my debit card that I know I don't have $200 on or whatever.

00:37:51 Speaker_03
I don't know how I paid for it. I got it eventually. I think I used my grant money for it or something like that.

00:37:56 Speaker_02
Isn't pride the fucking worst, man? Pride gets in the way so many times. You're like, shouldn't do this, but man, I can't look weak.

00:38:02 Speaker_03
Yeah. And I took it back to the dorm room. I think I cracked it open once, looked at like the first few pages. It was like, well, this is hard. Slam.

00:38:11 Speaker_03
Oh my god a law school you accumulate a lot of books so from my undergrad I didn't end up with that many books but from law school I ended up with a shitload of books

00:38:29 Speaker_04
like a trunk full of books. I sold them when I was done by the pound. They didn't give a shit. I was basically selling them paper. They didn't care. I sold thousands of dollars worth of law books for like a hundred bucks or something.

00:38:43 Speaker_04
Cause it was just, it was a heavy amount of paper. Like man, if I didn't have to move cross country, I might've just kept them just because it's like, well, I might need this. I don't know. A treatise on tort law. I might crack that. I don't know.

00:38:57 Speaker_04
Have a slip and fall. Maybe I'll need some knowledge. I don't know.

00:39:00 Speaker_03
I still have all my engineering books back at my mom's house They're sitting in a corner, you know, I crack them open I'm be like went and I read did I ever read this like I look at it like an important class book and it's just like Never been open like oh, I see where my problem was.

00:39:19 Speaker_04
Why is it sticky? Oh

00:39:22 Speaker_02
Man, I really enjoyed this back in the day.

00:39:25 Speaker_04
I remember, I liked that class a lot.

00:39:29 Speaker_03
Makes a lot of sense.

00:39:30 Speaker_03
Actually, most of the time when I open the book, most of the time it's like, when I read this, but the one time I turned a page and I saw a diagram, like an engineering diagram of like weights and like pulleys and levers and trying to figure out forces at angles.

00:39:40 Speaker_03
And I look at it and I have this like deja vu and I think on it a while and I realize, This is what that class was talking about! Oh, if I'd have seen this diagram, it would have made so much fucking sense!

00:39:51 Speaker_03
Ah, cause I never really went home and did what I was- the assignments, I just- I just cram-studied for tests and that's how I got through college and... God, if I'd actually tried.

00:40:00 Speaker_02
Did you ever have one of those used books where the person before you like wrote notes and stuff in them? I had a person who clearly was trying, but like their notes were things like, dude, dot, dot, dot. Guy really likes to hear himself talk.

00:40:14 Speaker_02
I don't even know what they were trying to say here with a circle and a line.

00:40:19 Speaker_03
It's like they were talking to me in the future like at the time they were like someone else I'm gonna help him out here dude dot-dot-dot You know notes never really made sense to me because I always would look at the book and be like if I can't understand what the books explaining in a few paragraphs

00:40:34 Speaker_03
How am I going to translate it into a couple sentences that I do understand? I was always trying to take notes, but I would just write down what the professor said. But when I did that, I wouldn't actually hear what he said.

00:40:45 Speaker_03
So I'd write it down and I'd never read my notes. So just like I was just a I was just a stenographer. Just like, yes, this is a transcription of this class.

00:40:53 Speaker_04
Someday this will help somebody. Law school is so funny.

00:40:57 Speaker_04
I swear no one has learned anything new in law school for like a couple decades because the way it works is for a class like for a semesters class, you would make like an outline at the end where it's like this is what's going to be on the test.

00:41:10 Speaker_04
This is an outline. These are all the cases we covered. Here's like the question. Here's the holding of the case. Here's the important details, whatever. And so the outline is like what you study for the exam. And I did make some outlines.

00:41:23 Speaker_04
But I learned after the first semester that if you just buy your books from the people who are a year ahead of you, as long as you buy it from the person who took that class you're taking from the same professor that you're taking, they come with everything like

00:41:36 Speaker_04
you use Hey, can I buy that book for for his criminal class off you and also do you have an outline for it? Did you and they didn't make the outline they got the outline handed down to them from the class above them six generations outline books were

00:41:51 Speaker_04
like every page was fully annotated. They might as well just like crossed all this out. Like you don't need to know this. Here's the one sentence on this page. This is very important.

00:42:01 Speaker_04
And then an outline that it basically said the same thing, but like law school is so funny because everyone is obsessed with that shit. And there's like websites you can go and you're like, I need an outline for, for criminal law for North Carolina.

00:42:13 Speaker_04
And there are websites where it's like, Oh, for $8, give you a full outline of North Carolina criminal law criminal one.

00:42:19 Speaker_04
So it gets you through your exam, but paying for it's stupid because if you just buy books from people, they're so happy you bought their book for more than $2 that they'll just happily share whatever they have with you anyway.

00:42:29 Speaker_04
But so weird ecosystem, you know, like the back of the book notes, but it's literally exact because professors rarely change their curriculum. And it's just like you get a list of all the answers.

00:42:39 Speaker_04
You can go to class without having read the thing and sit there with your outline from the other person and the professor is like, and who could tell me this and you're just like, I'll just read. I'll read the answer. I've got it right here, sir.

00:42:50 Speaker_04
The steward got that wrong the same way last year. It's so weird. Why does everyone think that's the holding in this case? Are you all reading the same outline?

00:42:57 Speaker_02
Did you ever have those professors that insisted you buy their book? Oh, yeah. I always loved that. It's like, man, I'm paying a tuition, so you get paid and then I'll buy your book on top of it.

00:43:07 Speaker_04
There's a guy in CCM, the Conservatory of Music at UC, who he wrote a very popular music theory book, but it's not like the only one anyone uses. But you had to buy his book because he was the professor of music theory and it was a whole.

00:43:37 Speaker_02
like, I have no idea what the hell supposed to be writing. So I'm just gonna flip through here, find some quotes that he said that sound like they're close to the topic. And I'll reference him.

00:43:45 Speaker_04
And he loved that.

00:43:47 Speaker_02
Yeah, half of my paper was quotes from him with annotations or whatever. So like, I had to write like three pages, about two of the three pages were his words in quotes, I got an A on the paper, like a 98 out of 100.

00:43:59 Speaker_02
And I couldn't tell you a single fucking thing that I said or what point was made. Like if I reread the paper out loud, I'd be like, what the fuck did I just say to you? But I got an A because that guy, he loved him. He loved him some him.

00:44:12 Speaker_04
Mmm, education.

00:44:14 Speaker_02
Mock trial. I started to do mock trial. So in high school, I did something forum on law. I went to like Boston for some law thing. I went to Washington, D.C. for some law thing.

00:44:22 Speaker_04
Didn't you go to the Secret Boys Club? Didn't we talk about that?

00:44:25 Speaker_02
Buckeye Boys State in Ohio. So Buckeye Boys State, some forum on law in Washington, D.C., and another one in Boston. And I really fucking loved it. So in college, I was like, dude, I actually know people that are doing mock trial here.

00:44:38 Speaker_02
I'm going to go to do mock trial. I'm going to love it because I've already loved it. I went to the first meeting and they were talking about like just how it goes, the workload, this and that. I never went back to another meeting. I never did it.

00:44:49 Speaker_04
Did you get scared off or did you just like just forget it existed?

00:44:52 Speaker_02
No, I just was like like the next time it came up, I was like tired. I had like a paper or something. I was like, well, I can't make this meeting. I'm going to get some work done.

00:44:59 Speaker_02
And that was like predated my modern day, like I'm going to play this video game to completion. And then one day I don't play it and I never go back to it.

00:45:06 Speaker_02
It was just like a hint of what was to come for my future of the man who, if he takes a day off, will never go back to that task. Never followed through on it. And I really, really loved Mock Trial up into that point. Nerd.

00:45:17 Speaker_03
Nerd. Nerd. Can we pile on him now? Is that OK? Yeah, pile on. Yeah, nerd. Yeah, go pound them out, nerd. Wait, what are you writing?

00:45:29 Speaker_02
I'm gonna give you both nerd points.

00:45:32 Speaker_04
How about you like writing briefs?

00:45:35 Speaker_02
Just don't mind the tears on the nerd point.

00:45:38 Speaker_04
No one's gonna see that but you, nerd. This episode is brought to you by Coca-Cola Creations.

00:45:44 Speaker_02
I love Coca-Cola and I have had Coke in my life for my entire life.

00:45:47 Speaker_04
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Try the new Coca-Cola Oreo Zero Sugar Limited Edition. Besties for a limited time. Taste it while it lasts. Copyright 2024, The Coca-Cola Company. Copyright 2024, Mondelez International Group.

00:46:10 Speaker_04
This episode is brought to you by Batman Arkham Shadow, available only on MetaQuest 3 and 3S. I'm just excited to be able to use Batman's gadgets.

00:46:19 Speaker_02
Shotglove punch the Rat King. Just the bat versus the rat.

00:46:24 Speaker_04
That's going to make for some really good headlines. Become the knight. Batman Arkham Shadow is included when you buy MetaQuest 3 or 3S. Available now.

00:46:33 Speaker_01
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00:46:42 Speaker_02
You know a weird one while you guys are thinking a weird one that I used to enjoy doing that I fully forgot existed and then lately it's popped up like synchronicity style is building bionicles. They're like, I don't know if they were Lego.

00:46:52 Speaker_02
I think they were Lego. It's a Lego thing.

00:46:55 Speaker_02
But I really enjoyed building bionicles and then like either like almost transformer or power ranger them or if you had like the set of six bionicles you could take them apart and then build like the super bionicle.

00:47:05 Speaker_02
I just forgot they existed and lately they've been popping up all over the place and I even saw like a recommended like GDQ speedrun of someone playing some like really shitty Bionicle video game and speedrunning it and like I just can't escape Bionicles like the last month and I hadn't thought about them in 20 years

00:47:21 Speaker_03
I saw the Bionicle lore popped up recently because I didn't know this, but in Bionicle, the world, it actually takes place in like the corpse of a giant robot or something like this. And by giant, I mean moon sized or something like that.

00:47:39 Speaker_03
this, like the robot is so large, like there's I think I can find like a picture of it, but I don't even know if it is real scale or something like this. All of Bionicle the lore takes place inside the corpse of this robot. I want to build it.

00:47:57 Speaker_03
If you think about it on the sense of like structural, there's no way that robot could stand at all or function. But at the same time, it's also like, wow, that's terrifying. If you have megalophobia, that's that's awful.

00:48:10 Speaker_02
I've never heard that term before. Megalophobia? Yeah. I'm guessing it's a fear of big things. It sure is. You got that? You have it?

00:48:18 Speaker_04
I look down all the time. I haven't been scared yet. Imagine a moon sized packing peanut. How do you feel? That is a loaded question, and I hate you. Imagine a monitor box, but there's no monitor in it. There's just styrofoam the size of the Titanic.

00:48:36 Speaker_02
You know, Bob, you hadn't lost the point yet, and now you have.

00:48:38 Speaker_04
That wasn't even the first time I've made a styrofoam joke this episode. You crossed the line. When did you make another one? Didn't I mention styrofoam earlier?

00:48:46 Speaker_04
I say you might as well eat styrofoam about something because you were talking about food or something.

00:48:50 Speaker_02
I don't remember. I don't recall. Only I had a memory. Me too. Love Bionicle reference though. Bionicle reference. Good.

00:48:57 Speaker_04
Dude, we're allowed to do that. I was shopping for a birthday present for a five year old recently because we're going to a birthday party. And I was looking for Lego dinosaurs. So I was in like the Lego aisle by some of the more grown up kits as well.

00:49:11 Speaker_04
There was like a Formula One car, like there was like Martin Senna's Formula One car, whatever his livery is and some stuff. And I was supposed to be looking for dinosaurs.

00:49:18 Speaker_04
And I just I came across those and I was like, Oh, that would look really cool in my office. And I went down a whole rabbit hole before I remembered. I'm totally allowed to buy those things, but that's not what I'm at the store for right now.

00:49:29 Speaker_04
But we can just do that. Imagine that having all that fun stuff.

00:49:33 Speaker_03
That's true.

00:49:34 Speaker_02
I have a Star Wars AT-AT in my garage. I have not built yet. Oh, is it one of the like pretty big scale ones? Yeah.

00:49:41 Speaker_04
Oh, nice.

00:49:42 Speaker_02
But yeah, we have a couple like Lego stores and stuff around. There's one like in the Kenwood Mall and other areas around Cincinnati. So there's great places to get that kind of stuff.

00:49:49 Speaker_04
I have a buddy who has the Lego Super Star Destroyer, but it's like the big one, like the five foot long one. It's awesome.

00:49:56 Speaker_02
I also have been like delving deeper into like the world of cooperative board games since Mark showed us a few. Bird, the porn guy, he and Fu have some co-op board games they showed us. There's one I'm obsessed with.

00:50:07 Speaker_02
I think it's called like Hanabi, which is like fireworks. Oh, I've seen that one. You just have tiles and you with one other person, you just try to build fireworks. I am obsessed. I want that like I want meat. I want to play that game bad.

00:50:19 Speaker_02
I had so much fun with it. It's so simple and I was just like, oh, we got so close. Let's go again. Oh, we won, but we didn't get all the fireworks. We could get all the fireworks. Come on, let's play more. I just want to play more of it.

00:50:29 Speaker_02
I really fucking love that game, but it's like impossible to find the tile version actually in stock anywhere. It's driving me insane. But we got one called Pandemic, which has been fun to play.

00:50:39 Speaker_02
I want to get like a table set up or I just have like a board game slash Lego building table. Anyway, off topic there, but my brain. Bionicle I think about hockey a lot.

00:50:48 Speaker_04
I'm still a big ice hockey fan.

00:50:50 Speaker_04
I got a big NHL fan I played hockey when I was a kid a lot mainly we played like roller hockey in the parking lot behind the school or whatever But I took skating lessons and then I took like hockey lessons where like you get the full gear and they start teaching you Fundamentals and stuff, but you're not on a team yet

00:51:08 Speaker_04
And I did all that and I fucking love hockey. And I just gave up. I don't remember what happened.

00:51:15 Speaker_04
I think what may have happened is my hand got shut in one of the rink doors one time, like three of my four fingers got shut in one of those heavy metal rink doors, like latched all the way shut shut.

00:51:27 Speaker_04
That led to me taking a break from hockey while my fingers recovered. And then I sort of never went back to it after that, I think, because I started getting into other sports and stuff. But Man, I wish I'd played hockey. Hockey's a fun sport.

00:51:40 Speaker_04
I love hockey.

00:51:42 Speaker_03
That sounds really fun, but also horrible. Very violent.

00:51:44 Speaker_04
Yeah, well, I am for since then have been terrified of those doors. And if I'm ever near an ice rink for like fun purposes, I'm terrified of getting anything caught in the heavy latching door that crushes your bones into dust. Yeah.

00:51:58 Speaker_02
other than like UFC or boxing or anything it's like the only sport where you can like literally just stop what you're doing and go start beating the shit out of somebody and it's perfectly fine it's a penalty yeah but like you think legally like i don't know watching it like you know you get into a fist fight with someone like in your family or whatever and it's like you're in jail but on tv you just watch this guy take off his gloves go and start beating the fuck out of someone and we're all just like

00:52:20 Speaker_02
Yeah, woo! And they're like, go sit in the corner, two minutes, two minutes, sit down.

00:52:25 Speaker_04
It's five minutes for fighting, okay. Do they only give the penalty to the loser or what? That'd be really funny if you lose. If you engage in a fight, you get it either way. You won, you get a point.

00:52:38 Speaker_04
Other sports basically are just fighting the whole time. Like, I always think it's funny when football players get so worked up that they're like trying to punch each other after the play or whatever.

00:52:47 Speaker_04
It's like the entire sport is just punching each other with some other shit happening. Just wait until you get another play and go pummel the absolute shit out of that dude when it's completely legal.

00:52:58 Speaker_04
There's no reason in a sport like football where you're like, I want to fight you now and fight him during the play. And then it's not even a problem. You don't get fined or anything like.

00:53:07 Speaker_04
You're allowed to basically physically do whatever you want to this dude, as long as it's, you know, violence and not grabbing, which sounds like what you want to do is violent. So go ahead. Go nuts. It sounds great. Like, I don't know. That's crazy.

00:53:21 Speaker_02
But the tackling and stuff in football, sure. But there is just something about watching hockey, like the whole thing, like people stop playing the game to watch these two dudes just like punch each other in the helmet, which doesn't do anything.

00:53:32 Speaker_04
Step one of hockey fight is get your stance grab with your front hand. Step two is try and get their helmet either off or up enough that you can punch them in the face under the helmet. And there is a technique to it. That's fair.

00:53:46 Speaker_04
Punching the helmet is stupid, but usually if you can't get the helmet off, you just like give up because you don't want to do that. That's not bad. You just fight again later. or just hit him during the play, because hockey is also insanely violent.

00:53:58 Speaker_04
It's not as aggressively violent as football is, but like a lot of space to find someone and try and hurt them in hockey.

00:54:06 Speaker_02
All right, Mark, you have to talk again. Oh, I have to. Wow. All right. I have in my script. Punish Mark.

00:54:12 Speaker_03
Punish me? What did I do? Well, I guess I haven't done it yet. I don't know when that I grew unaccustomed to, like, wading around in a creek or something like that, or, like, being amongst nature and just, like, getting my hands dirty.

00:54:26 Speaker_03
Because as a kid, you know, I went out in the woods a ton, you know, I played in the creek, I committed eco-terrorism. I just don't know when I gave that up, because now if I look at a creek I go, Icky water.

00:54:37 Speaker_03
Oh if I think about my toes getting in the mud, I'm like, whoa, God kill me blow me up I couldn't you know, it's just like it so that's kind of pathetic, you know, you know, honestly It's kind of pitiful that I wouldn't be okay with going around in the mud because that's a more natural state of being anyway But I keep that man

00:54:54 Speaker_02
I'm the same way. I used to love going to the creek, man, catching frogs and fish and all kinds of stuff.

00:54:58 Speaker_02
And now, like, I go outside and, like, I'll see, like, a piece of garbage in the grass and I'm like, I have to touch that with my hand to throw it away? I don't even have, like, a tissue or a glove.

00:55:08 Speaker_02
I don't mind getting dirty once I'm dirty, but man, the thought of getting my hands dirty, I hate it. Did you ever, um, try to build dams in the creek? Like, stop the water?

00:55:17 Speaker_03
Oh yeah, like I said, I diverted rivers all the time. Horrible, horrible things. That's the eco-terrorism part.

00:55:23 Speaker_04
Whole rivers?

00:55:24 Speaker_03
Well, yeah, well, to a kid, a creek is a river.

00:55:26 Speaker_02
Like, you were one dedicated kid, you know? The Ohio River didn't used to flow where it does now. A lot of time on my hands. The creek. A creek or crick. I think it depends where you were born.

00:55:38 Speaker_02
Any other things you all did or didn't do you want to bring up?

00:55:43 Speaker_04
Classic. Have you thought any more about my philosophical assertion? All poo-poos are pee-pees, but not all pee-pees are poo-poos? Yeah, no. I have given it no more thought. Do you want to contemplate it? Not at all. Let it soak in. In your brain.

00:55:56 Speaker_03
Pee-pee-poo-poo in your brain.

00:55:57 Speaker_04
Nope. Get it in there. No, no, no, no. It's going. I would never saturate myself in that. You think your logical lifestraw keeps you safe, but it don't.

00:56:06 Speaker_03
So I like that phrase, but no. Random question. Other than you did wrestling, right, Mark, did you do any other sports? I did track and field.

00:56:13 Speaker_03
I wish I had kept up with the running events and not so much the throwing, because even though throwing is kind of fun, it was like it didn't feel very ambitious. So in all honesty, I was like, man, I probably should try more, but I didn't.

00:56:25 Speaker_02
That's fair because you were good. We played football just like for fun. You're pretty good at like catching running everything else Yeah, I mean I was athletic.

00:56:32 Speaker_03
I was fast when I needed to be I just never I didn't like working hard So I didn't Bob.

00:56:38 Speaker_02
I know you played football and you were in band and you just said you did hockey So I think you did some stuff

00:56:42 Speaker_04
Football, wrestling, track and field, baseball, soccer. Oh damn, you did it all. I did lots of things. I was very medium at all of them. I was okay at football, but I also didn't like getting brain injuries, so I sort of moved past that.

00:56:55 Speaker_04
This guy likes his brain.

00:56:57 Speaker_02
What a fool. Well, let me tabulate the points here. Good episode, everyone. Nuh-uh. Okay, shitty episode. I'm so sorry, viewers.

00:57:06 Speaker_03
I mean, yes, yes. No, it's not like that.

00:57:08 Speaker_02
I will aim to do better in the future, probably won't, but, you know. Just for that, let's read Mark's points first, I guess.

00:57:13 Speaker_03
Oh, come on, man! Come on, man! Just cause I didn't have too many things I gave up on, just cause I'm such a winner.

00:57:20 Speaker_02
I'll read Bob's points first. Bob, you got points for... Table instructions unclear. Confidence. I said best friends. Bye-bye car. Banned. Nerd. German hockey punch legally, and you lost a point for packing peanut, giving you eight points.

00:57:39 Speaker_02
I just want to be clear, it was a moon-sized packing peanut?

00:57:42 Speaker_04
We're testing your megalophobia.

00:57:44 Speaker_02
Alright. Mark, you got points for made chipmunk comfy, scary baby, burial ceremony, sign language, back to Korean, nerd, bionicle, the creek,

00:57:57 Speaker_02
Giving you also eight points however you lost the point for making a sad leaving you at seven points Which is one less than Bob's eight?

00:58:05 Speaker_04
Hey, you're the one who made us sad It was really was the best story of the entire episode, but also it made us sad If it makes you feel any better Bob would have won by two points if he hadn't mentioned the packing peanut does that make you feel better Not really

00:58:27 Speaker_04
I can't believe that didn't make you feel better.

00:58:28 Speaker_03
What's wrong with you? Yeah, I thought for sure that was the one. I looked inward. I really contemplated. I was like, does it? Maybe it does? No, wait, no, uh-uh.

00:58:36 Speaker_02
Tell you what, I'll let you go first on the loser's speech. How's that? What if I go first on the winner's speech? You can say whatever you'd like, but it won't change the outcome. Alright, fine.

00:58:46 Speaker_03
Sorry I made everyone sad. Sorry my life full of adventure and mystery where I don't quit that many things because I'm not a quitter, not a loser, per se. I didn't quit this episode, this episode quit me.

00:58:59 Speaker_03
And that's the distinction that keeps my ego intact.

00:59:03 Speaker_02
Well said, though I think you've tried and stopped more things than the rest of us combined. Bob! Winnerspeak! I don't know why you squealed like that.

00:59:14 Speaker_04
I was playing the long game when I decided to never follow through on anything in my life. I knew that that would come back to help me succeed, just like giving up on all my dreams has helped me succeed at things.

00:59:26 Speaker_04
And there's a lesson to take away from this episode, it's that make sure that you never finish stuff, because then you'll never have any interesting stories to talk about, because then you'll just be a winner like Mark, who sucks, and is boring, and doesn't save chipmunks.

00:59:40 Speaker_02
Well said. I'm gonna end on a happy note. That's crazy. If I'd given points during and after the winners and losers speeches, the win might have been reversed from those. Does that make you feel better, Mark? No. Let me think about it.

00:59:54 Speaker_02
Well, that's the episode. Hopefully you all enjoyed our ramblings of some old men. Stay tuned for the next one where Bob will host and who knows what will happen. If you haven't already, go follow us.

01:00:04 Speaker_02
Mark at Markiplier, Bob at MySkirm, me at Minion777 or LordMinion777. We have merch at extractablestore.com. And I guess see you in the next one. Until then, podcast out.