Never Hug Your Teacher AI transcript and summary - episode of podcast Distractible

Go to PodExtra AI's episode page (Never Hug Your Teacher) to play and view complete AI-processed content: summary, mindmap, topics, takeaways, transcript, keywords and highlights.

Go to PodExtra AI's podcast page (Distractible) to view the AI-processed content of all episodes of this podcast.

Distractible episodes list: view full AI transcripts and summaries of this podcast on the blog

Episode: Never Hug Your Teacher

Author: Distractible
Duration: 01:05:24

Episode Shownotes

Mark, Wade, and Bob have a good ole fashioned cringe measuring contest. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Summary

In this episode of Distractible, hosts Mark, Wade, and Bob engage in humorous storytelling, reflecting on their most cringeworthy moments that resonate with a shared sense of awkwardness. Topics range from generational gaps in knowledge while searching for stamps to the discomfort of romantic advances during youth. They discuss their experiences with outdated office technology, cringe-inducing social interactions, and challenges related to performance anxiety. Through light-hearted banter, the hosts create an engaging atmosphere by intertwining personal anecdotes with Comic absurdities of everyday life, shaping their unique friendship and the entertaining chaos of the podcast.

Go to PodExtra AI's episode page (Never Hug Your Teacher) to play and view complete AI-processed content: summary, mindmap, topics, takeaways, transcript, keywords and highlights.

Full Transcript

00:00:00 Speaker_03
This episode is brought to you by McDonald's. There are a lot of fraternal twins out there. Now McDonald's is dropping on us a twin we never expected. Have you boys heard about the Chicken Big Mac? The what? What does that mean?

00:00:12 Speaker_03
Two chicken patty, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, and pickles on a sesame seed bun.

00:00:17 Speaker_04
The special sauce that they only use for the Big Mac to have it on a new sandwich?

00:00:23 Speaker_03
Yeah, the Chicken Big Mac. It's not not a Big Mac. Get it while you can at participating McDonald's for a limited time. This podcast is brought to you by PayPal. The discussions on this podcast may not always be the smartest, but you know what is smart?

00:00:36 Speaker_03
The new PayPal.

00:00:38 Speaker_04
I don't have a joke. I literally use PayPal all the time.

00:00:41 Speaker_02
I actually also just use it.

00:00:42 Speaker_04
I don't know how to make that funny though.

00:00:44 Speaker_02
Like all my funny stories are about when things don't work. You know, when a fridge destroys my entire house, that sort of thing.

00:00:49 Speaker_03
It's okay guys. You could just say that PayPal is smart. That's fine.

00:00:52 Speaker_04
No, no, no. It's like, it's like a money catapult that throws your money at the people that need it.

00:01:01 Speaker_03
Yes, that's good. You guys did great because you can pay with PayPal everywhere online and in-store. It is great. And you'll even earn 5% cash back on up to $1,000 spent in a category you choose each month when you pay with the PayPal debit card.

00:01:15 Speaker_03
Make sure you check out the new PayPal. Every payment, everywhere, every time. Don't just pay. PayPal. This card is issued by the Bancorp Bank, N.A. pursuant to a license by MasterCard International, Inc. and may be used everywhere MasterCard is accepted.

00:01:27 Speaker_02
This episode of Distractible is brought to you by Amazon. Did you know the holidays are in like, like a little bit, like coming up?

00:01:34 Speaker_03
Which is why I wait till about, I don't know, December 10th and I go online and then I'm like, the first thing I find that makes me think of somebody, I'm like, buy it, send it, ship it, done.

00:01:45 Speaker_02
Does it really matter how you gift? I don't think so. There's something for everyone on Amazon.

00:01:49 Speaker_04
Shop Black Friday week starting November 21st for deals on toys, home, sports, outdoor and more at amazon.com slash holiday deals.

00:01:57 Speaker_00
Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractible. This episode, megalithic Mark passes up by pussyfooting and asks his friends for their worst moments. Lord Wantless Wade has a titanic cranial crash and cringes over a canine commiseration.

00:02:14 Speaker_00
Bonanza Bob befurls zoomers, bullies at band, has bilingual bearcat broke banter, and totally drops the tuba. From nuggets of nostalgia to podcast advice. Yes! It's time for Never Hug Your Teacher.

00:02:34 Speaker_00
Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

00:02:42 Speaker_04
Don't smile. This is gonna be a terrible episode. Hello! Welcome to the terrible episode. This episode is horrible, in every way possible. More than you can imagine, and more than you'll experience. Because it's us that's terrible. Who's us? Me? Markiplier.

00:02:57 Speaker_04
Hi, how you doing? And who's that? Hi. How terrible are we going for here? Look, man, this is just what it is. You can't you can't you can't put a price on terrible. Oh, I could ratchet it up. Have you seen my bad episodes?

00:03:09 Speaker_03
This is capitalism. We can put a price on anything.

00:03:12 Speaker_04
That's true. That's true. Not only is this the worst episode, it's the only episode you'll have to pay for.

00:03:18 Speaker_02
Are you officially trying to compete with the worst piece of shit episode ever though? Because I just want to say that that's my title and my episode and I'm pretty sure it's definitely gonna remain the worst piece of shit that we've done.

00:03:29 Speaker_03
And hair. I did hair. Don't you dare compete with hair. I liked hair.

00:03:32 Speaker_02
Thank you. Terra-teratomas? Classic.

00:03:35 Speaker_04
Anyway, who is that? I'm Micekerm. Man, this is going swimmingly.

00:03:39 Speaker_03
Wade, who are you? Oh, it's not Wade. It's LordMinion777. Hey, guys. Classic. He says that all the time. Until next time, see you guys.

00:03:51 Speaker_04
My outro, right? Hi, welcome to, uh, Distractible.

00:03:54 Speaker_04
This is the podcast where each of us takes a turn hosting, which is actually a revolutionary concept that I was just talking to someone about, about how like, wow, that actually is pretty, it's pretty cool. Tyler.

00:04:07 Speaker_02
Why, because Tyler always hosts and drags you along to all his sports things?

00:04:11 Speaker_04
No, no, yes, absolutely. But also because it sometimes pumps out stinkers like this one. Buckle up, everybody else, because it's about to get worse.

00:04:20 Speaker_03
They say an episode is only as good as its host.

00:04:23 Speaker_04
There's no need for that. I was already declaring it bad.

00:04:25 Speaker_02
So down on that. I think this is going to be a good one. I'm feeling good guys. I'm feeling, I'm feeling jazzed up. It's finally cooling off in Ohio.

00:04:33 Speaker_02
Not that it was that hot, but like this is the Ohio weather I live for where it's kind of rainy and kind of gray outside and it's like chilly, but not cold enough that you need to like wear a coat. It's the good times. It's the good weathers.

00:04:44 Speaker_04
That's great. I stepped outside today as well, and I noticed like it was extremely cloudy, but it's that kind of fog where the fog is just like covering the mountains and you can't see past a little bit. I love those mornings.

00:04:56 Speaker_04
It's just very magical, but I don't imagine the same weather you're talking about.

00:04:59 Speaker_02
No, ours is more Midwest. But it's you know what the kind of weather it is. It's the kind of weather where you go and you get pumpkins and then you like carve pumpkins because it's October. We did that. It was very good pumpkin weather.

00:05:10 Speaker_03
I woke up with a full clash of the titans right into my noggin. A battle of the ages, making sure that I could barely stand or open my eyes.

00:05:18 Speaker_03
I looked at the window and thought about stepping outside to enjoy the day, then I realized there's nothing but pain today. So then I dragged myself downstairs where I took the pain relievers. And here I am. Holy shit. Uh, well, that's cool.

00:05:33 Speaker_03
It's migraine season, baby! We're back.

00:05:37 Speaker_04
Is that a season?

00:05:38 Speaker_03
I didn't- Is there a season for that? I don't know, I don't get seasonal, I get just occasional ones, but today, I was blessed.

00:05:44 Speaker_04
Alright, well, um, congratulations for that, I'm really proud of you, and I think that, um, we can all learn something from that. I don't know what, but we're gonna learn from it.

00:05:54 Speaker_02
You should take the pain relievers when you have a clash of the titans. That's what we learned.

00:05:59 Speaker_03
Oh, I did. And then what? They kind of worked. Listen boys, I'm on my A-game today, but my A-game's about six feet under. I'm on it, but it's a little deeper today than usual. I was on my A-game today confusing some gens' ears.

00:06:15 Speaker_02
Well, one zoomer.

00:06:17 Speaker_04
Confusing them with someone or confusing them directly?

00:06:19 Speaker_02
No, at their job, unfortunately. I needed stamps. I haven't needed to buy stamps in so long because I bought a book of stamps a decade ago and I use about one stamp per year, give or take.

00:06:32 Speaker_02
But we finally ran out and I was like, where the fuck do you buy stamps? Holy shit.

00:06:37 Speaker_03
Anywhere, usually a grocery store, the bank off post, the bank post office, the post office.

00:06:42 Speaker_02
not at UDF. And also we don't have a post office anywhere. Anyway, I went to a wall, a Walgreens and the teenager at the cashier, I went up and I was like, Hey, do you sell stamps? And she was like, Oh, I don't know what aisle that's in.

00:06:55 Speaker_02
And I was like, ah, well they're probably in, if you have them, they're in the register. Cause that's how this, when she was like, I think there's just money in there. And I had to, like, walk her through, like, lift up the thing.

00:07:07 Speaker_02
And then she found the stamps and was like, what the hell? Why are there stamps in here? Not her fault. I'm sure she never sells stamps to anyone because who buys stamps at Walgreens of all places, but.

00:07:21 Speaker_02
You never feel quite so old as when you're explaining to a young person where to find stamps so I can send my important letters. Also, to any organization or government entity that still requires you to mail shit through the actual mail, fuck you.

00:07:37 Speaker_02
Fuckin' suck. Let me do the internet or call you, for God's sakes.

00:07:41 Speaker_03
I dread to think about what it's like at any of the like whenever I worked at the federal courthouse, man, the tech was not good. I can only imagine how not good it is now.

00:07:50 Speaker_02
I think it's probably exactly the same as it was 20 years ago when you worked there. Well, no, that's mean. Fifteen. How long ago did you work there? Ten years? Fifteen? Probably about fifteen. Yeah. Yeah, that's probably exactly this.

00:08:01 Speaker_02
Probably fax machines and one telephone. They all have to share because there's God forbid you put in a network of phones in your office.

00:08:08 Speaker_03
Also, your meanness was like as mean to you as it is to me, because we were all there at the same time, like you see and stuff.

00:08:14 Speaker_02
I worked at a place back then, too, and I worked in a school and it was it was we had fax machines and all that shit was awful.

00:08:20 Speaker_03
The copy machine, man, you know, any documents you have to copy in a clerk's office and that thing broke like six times a day. I hate. Oh, God, I can only imagine those poor people now trying to deal with that.

00:08:31 Speaker_02
I will say I don't know what people do to copy. This is the most 90s discussion we've ever had on here. What's the deal with copy machine? I don't know what people do to copy machines. I worked in a school.

00:08:41 Speaker_02
It was not a, it was a school in a really poor area, like a low socioeconomic area. The school was absolutely strapped for money. We were like taping shit together with duct tape, like just scraping by as a terms of organizationally.

00:08:55 Speaker_02
Our copy machine never broke a single time. Like it was the oldest piece of shit looked like it might fall apart. Copy. never broke once and we used it day in day out. It was the only one for all of the classroom.

00:09:06 Speaker_02
So all the teachers copied all their tests and stuff on it. And what do people do that breaks them? I don't understand. What did you do? Did you write? Did you put your naked butt on it too many times so you could get butt sheet copies or what?

00:09:16 Speaker_03
You take a staple out of the document thing that you want to scan, and the way ours worked was you just set it down, it would suck out the bottom page, scan it, print, so on and so forth, and there was a spot where it would spit out the thing at the bottom, and then the copy would come out all nice and clean on the other side, and we had a big stapler where we'd staple their document, staple this one, put it back.

00:09:38 Speaker_03
That's not broken. Well, that's when it worked. When it didn't work!

00:09:44 Speaker_02
My question was, how did you break it?

00:09:47 Speaker_03
I'm telling my involvement was remove staple, set down paper, press button.

00:09:52 Speaker_03
But man, oh man, was that like a 20% chance of working in an 80% chance of something going horribly wrong or having already gone horribly wrong and someone just didn't report it? So you go and be like, huh?

00:10:03 Speaker_03
There's no indicators that this thing's online. Mark, did you dodge the joys of copy and fax machines?

00:10:09 Speaker_04
You never really worked at a place where that was a huge part of your job, right? I didn't have to do that. Most of it would have been like I worked at Micro Center and I dealt with returns sometimes or I tried to sell someone a plan on something.

00:10:19 Speaker_04
But no, I didn't have to do any of that. My dad, however, he when he did layout for, you know, books that he was he was a layout editor back in the day when you needed to do this, he defined where the

00:10:30 Speaker_04
words would go and like the art and the graphics and stuff like that he defined through the whole book and then he would print out a manuscript and send it out there he'd have to print two copies so we had an industrial printer so I got very familiar with how to reload and you know put the toner in the printer and it was really like he had big big stacks of paper like huge always because he needed to print so much and because he would go through iterations he would send it off every time you know go to FedEx we drop it off in the box it was great because we go to FedEx he'd hand him the big fat

00:10:59 Speaker_04
envelope and they would give us that little plane that you pop out of the little plastic piece and me and my brother would build a little plane in the back.

00:11:06 Speaker_00
It was really nice.

00:11:07 Speaker_04
So yeah, I didn't deal with it in a corporate sense, but yeah, that printer was a workhorse. Whatever printer, because he always did great research on what he was going to buy.

00:11:16 Speaker_04
So he only bought things that he knew were going to be like super reliable work nonstop. And this thing never broke. This thing never broke.

00:11:25 Speaker_04
And it was back, you know, for a printer, I don't even know how you get these anymore, but they use toner instead of ink. And I don't know, necessarily know what the difference is, but it comes in a huge tray that you slam in there.

00:11:36 Speaker_04
It'll last for a month, nonstop printing. Whereas like the ink cartridges that we have now with the color, just like they'll last like 10 pages.

00:11:43 Speaker_02
I think toner is laser jet and I think toner is powder and then it's like zapped onto the page with a laser potentially, whereas ink ink based printers is literally just a thing that squirts the ink very precisely and it soaks into the page kind of deal.

00:11:58 Speaker_02
Whatever it was, worked like a dream. Did you ever just like Fox blow toner everywhere? Because I feel like I did that once. Those toner cartridges, when you go to change them, they're not empty and they're just open on top.

00:12:09 Speaker_02
If you ever I dropped one once and that it's like fine black dust. It just goes everywhere. I was like changing the toner on the thing and just dropped it and it just went. It's not great. The superintendent, Super Nintendo Chalmers was very mad.

00:12:26 Speaker_04
Well, yeah, no, I didn't do that, but I there definitely were paper jams that happened a lot. And so we it was always because me or my brother didn't separate the paper, blow into it properly, flutter it out like a, you know, a Las Vegas card dealer.

00:12:40 Speaker_04
Because if you don't do that right, they'll get stuck together and it'll jam up.

00:12:44 Speaker_02
You have to do that at home printers to save people a lot of agony on your home printer. If you just go ahead and do that when you load it up, it's a big deal.

00:12:49 Speaker_03
It's better than back in like the 1700s and 1800s when they had the computers and you had to do the whole printout thing and then like they had to pick up a quill, dip it in ink, and you had to replace the quill and the ink.

00:12:59 Speaker_03
At least now we just have to replace the ink.

00:13:03 Speaker_02
Are you talking about, like, monks copying manuscripts in the abbey type stuff? Well, it had to be computerized, right?

00:13:09 Speaker_04
You know, in a weird way, this is the same as how Warhammer 40k does it, where they have people that they've ripped the brains out and put machines in with quills on parchment.

00:13:21 Speaker_03
I thought of you the other day, Mark. I found a place that I think is called YodaVille, but it's actually not. Here in Cincinnati. Cool. YodaQuest. YodaQuest. YadaQuest. But it's like a board game store, but like half of the store is just Warhammer stuff.

00:13:39 Speaker_03
Mark likes that, right? I don't play Warhammer, but you're like big into the lore, aren't you?

00:13:44 Speaker_02
Yeah, but you don't you just buy minifigs to just hold them and look at them and be like, oh, Horace, I don't know that.

00:13:51 Speaker_03
I don't know what it all was. I didn't go to that section, but I saw it and I was like, I kind of like browse through and everything there was war here. And I was like, I wonder how much lore is here for Mark. None.

00:14:04 Speaker_02
All right, Mark. I thought of you because I was doing research and I found online that a good way to get into Warhammer lore is to start with the Horus Heresy and I started reading the Horus Heresy and it's really good so far. You're in for a trip.

00:14:19 Speaker_02
Have you played Space Marine 2 per chance?

00:14:21 Speaker_04
I know you're like busy. No, I haven't yet. I haven't played anything yet.

00:14:25 Speaker_02
That's such a good game. It made me want to get into Warhammer. And so now I'm reading Warhammer.

00:14:29 Speaker_04
It's fun. I can give you a recommendation of certain books to read, because the The Horse Heresy series is so huge. There's like 60-something books if you count like the accessory-sized stories. I saw that and I was like, oh.

00:14:42 Speaker_04
You don't need to read all of them.

00:14:44 Speaker_02
That's the rest of my entire life's worth of reading.

00:14:46 Speaker_04
I don't know if I'm going to get through that. You just read the first three, because originally it was a trilogy, and then it went

00:14:54 Speaker_04
And they dragged it out way too much, you know So but there are some real gems in there some really fun reads That reveal a lot about the characters and then there's other ones that are like this could have been a synopsis on a page Leading into another book.

00:15:09 Speaker_04
I didn't need to do this

00:15:11 Speaker_04
just stay away from the beast arises series it's a 12 book series i swear to god it was the hardest read i've ever had in my life i plowed through it all because i had nothing else to do i wish i could have that time back why was it hard just like

00:15:26 Speaker_04
Super boring crap. It's so boring.

00:15:29 Speaker_04
It was very contrived because here's here's a spoiler for everybody So they they're fighting the orcs, right is the work called the beast and it's like, okay cool premise There's some fun moments in there and then they go to the planet where the orcs are and they go attack it and they land and they go in all the way to the main building the Boss room, whatever you want to call it and they're like they're too much for us leave regroup come back

00:15:54 Speaker_04
all the way in there, and I think they fail again, and then they leave, and it's just like, they do this again and again, and I'm like, how do you have anybody left? How could you have possibly have left? This doesn't make any sense.

00:16:06 Speaker_04
This is so, I don't know, this is so, and then the beast comes out like, I'm the beast, and it's just like, okay, cool. I'm dead, and then he, so fucking stupid.

00:16:18 Speaker_03
I don't know, don't read that. Mark, I didn't think of you the other day when I went to Yodaville. Thanks, buddy. It was a cool place though. Shout out Yoda Quest, Cincinnati. I feel like it's Yoda.

00:16:31 Speaker_02
It's gotta be Yoda.

00:16:32 Speaker_03
It is, but I always think of Yodaville and I don't know why, but I think it's Yoda Quest. I don't know. We were just like we were driving around Cincinnati area going to like retro gaming stores and board game stores and stuff like that.

00:16:42 Speaker_03
We just hit up a few of them and that was one and they had a bunch of Warhammer stuff. They got a big dragon, real big dragon in there.

00:16:47 Speaker_02
Oh, well, that's fantasy. That's not even the right kind of Warhammer.

00:16:51 Speaker_03
That was not the Warhammer side, that was the other side.

00:16:53 Speaker_02
Oh, okay.

00:16:54 Speaker_03
That was the side I spent time on.

00:16:56 Speaker_04
I know nothing about the fantasy side of Warhammer. Who cares, really? Sounds stupid. Yeah, Sigmar? More like Schmigmar. More like he better Ligmar nuts.

00:17:06 Speaker_02
Ligmar nuts. It's an Australian insult. It's going to lick my nuts. No. How do you say nuts in Australia? No nuts. Nuts. Narts. Lick my narts. Arnar my narts. Arm Australia. Nailed it. I watch a lot of Bluey, so that's why my accent is so refined.

00:17:25 Speaker_03
This feels like when we were on tour, Ethan was talking about the Berg. This is like the Berg all over again.

00:17:30 Speaker_02
Hey, we didn't agree not to do accents. I'm allowed to do accents. It's part of the show.

00:17:34 Speaker_03
That's fair. This episode is brought to you by Iams Pet Food. Ever struggle trying to find the right pet food?

00:17:41 Speaker_04
I just let, you know, Chica and Henry outside and I'm assuming they like the dirt or something.

00:17:45 Speaker_02
You know, you could just go to the store and you could buy Iams dry dog or cat food. They will have healthy energy within five days, healthy digestion in 10 days, and healthy skin and coat in just 25 days. Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back.

00:17:59 Speaker_02
Feed Iams dry dog or cat food and see a visible difference.

00:18:03 Speaker_03
Visit Iams.com slash difference to learn more. This episode is brought to you by Coca-Cola Creations. I love Coca-Cola and I have had Coke in my life for my entire life. You love Coke.

00:18:15 Speaker_02
I love Oreos.

00:18:16 Speaker_03
Oreos are delicious. Coke is delicious.

00:18:19 Speaker_02
What happens when the best drink and the best cookie in the world get together? The best become besties.

00:18:25 Speaker_03
Try the new Coca-Cola Oreo Zero Sugar Limited Edition. Besties for a limited time. Taste it while it lasts. Copyright 2024, The Coca-Cola Company. Copyright 2024, Mondelez International Group.

00:18:38 Speaker_04
So, the piece of shit episode continues. So what we're going to do is we're going to talk about some cringe, specifically our own. Hooray. We have mentioned some cringy moments in our time on this podcast, and we've mentioned some things.

00:18:58 Speaker_04
Today, we're going to get deeper. We're going to confess some things, some deep, dark secrets that keep us awake at night, that we stand in the shower and then we just cry because we remember them all of a sudden.

00:19:08 Speaker_04
Have you guys ever seen someone in real life remember a cringy moment? And have you ever seen someone across the room just go, Oh, no. Oh, because I've done that in public spaces where I'm just like, oh, no, not that.

00:19:20 Speaker_04
And I, I feel like if anyone saw me, they would know what I was thinking.

00:19:24 Speaker_02
But I am 100% that guy. I so like the office is widely regarded as a fantastic show at the American office, to be specific. It's I feel like a lot of the humor in that show is cringe based, right?

00:19:37 Speaker_02
Like Michael Scott as a character is basically a walking explosion of cringe in every direction. I cannot physically restrain myself.

00:19:45 Speaker_02
I avoided watching that show for a long time, like years, because I I'm the guy, no matter how lightly cringy something is, if something happens and if it's in public or on TV or whatever, I'm the guy in the background who's always like, oh, oh, my insides cringe uncontrollably.

00:20:02 Speaker_02
I hate I don't like it, but also I'm deaf. There's 100 percent stories in other people's lives where they're like,

00:20:08 Speaker_02
Yeah, and then I said this thing and I looked across the room and there was this huge fat guy and he was visibly cringing at what I had just said. And I was like, oh no.

00:20:17 Speaker_04
Just to get it started while you guys think of the things I think I've mentioned this before, but there were multiple times in my. in my time in college where it was hyper obvious that a girl wanted me to ask her out and never happened.

00:20:33 Speaker_04
I just did not get the signs. Three separate occasions this has occurred that I can speak of. The first one was in the dorm laundry room. I think I told you, Bob, about this.

00:20:42 Speaker_04
I was doing laundry there and this other girl down there and we both talked the entire time our laundry was going for like 30 minutes or whatever it was. You know, and then my laundry was done, beep, and I was like, ah, it's me. All right, see ya.

00:20:55 Speaker_04
Got my laundry, fucking left. And I just, god damn it. Second time walking home, walking to the dorm or wherever I was living at the time from a class, classmate of mine.

00:21:08 Speaker_04
We walked from the classroom all the way back and like from across campus, from the engineering sector to the dorms. I think it must have been the dorms. Which that's a pretty long walk, if it was where we, the dorm we lived in.

00:21:20 Speaker_04
Talking the whole time, we get to that point where it's like, ah, I gotta go this way, I'll go this way. And then we just stand there for a little bit. All right, see ya! She's just standing there like... And I go like, see ya!

00:21:32 Speaker_04
And then I don't think I ever talked to her again in the classroom. Uh, that's a tough one. And then, then it happened again.

00:21:39 Speaker_04
And this one, like, it's, it's not for sure, but there was this other person that was in a class of mine and I ran into, uh, this is later on, ran into, cause I was, I was switching some classes around and they, they were on the phone and then they saw me cause they hadn't seen me in class for a different, for a while.

00:21:55 Speaker_04
It was a different person. They're on the phone and they're like, Oh, hold on. I like, and they're like, Oh, Hey Mario, how's it going? I'm like, Oh, and then we catch up for like five minutes while their friend is on hold on the phone. Same thing.

00:22:05 Speaker_04
Like I'm just like, well, I don't want to keep you from your phone call. I got to go see you. And then I'm just like out the door. That one may not have been, but you know, man, that's a long time to just have someone hanging out on the phone.

00:22:16 Speaker_04
They really wanted to talk to you real bad. Yeah, I know. And looking back on it at the time, I had no idea. I had no fucking idea. I was so clueless. I couldn't possibly.

00:22:27 Speaker_04
And maybe looking back, I'm misreading it, but it's like clearly they wanted to talk to me. And I just, just didn't connect the dots at all.

00:22:36 Speaker_02
So yeah, that's, um, that's some cringe. Sometimes the conversation reaches an end point and then it's time to leave and there's nothing else to think about.

00:22:45 Speaker_03
I think I've blocked some of mine out. I've got like two I can think of.

00:22:49 Speaker_03
off the top of my head but one of them felt really bad because we had a week when we were like in high school our dog had like a health scare had to go to the vet we didn't know what was wrong we were like oh god hope we don't have to put her down that kind of thing and that same week I had a friend who lost his dog and I was talking to him and he's like hey man hope your dog's okay and I was like yeah you too

00:23:11 Speaker_03
Just as like a default response after his dog had died. And like, you know, he laughed it off, but like the moment I said it, it was one of those things where like, I just felt myself like, oh, that's the worst U2 I've ever done.

00:23:22 Speaker_03
To have a safe flight. Thanks U2. Like, enjoy your meal. Thanks U2. Fuck, like those happen. But like, hope your dog's okay. Yeah, U2, man. After knowing that they buried it the day before or whatever.

00:23:32 Speaker_02
I hope his burial site's undisturbed, you know? I hope he's doing... doing good in there, you know?

00:23:38 Speaker_03
That one still gets me, yeah. Thankfully we had a good friendship, so we just laughed it off, but like, man, that was one of those things, like, that was the most asshole-y thing I could have said in that moment. Are you sure they were laughing?

00:23:47 Speaker_03
Sure wasn't... maybe some... tears in there? I don't really talk to him much anymore, so maybe not.

00:23:52 Speaker_02
Was it maniacal after? Are they the one causing all of your plumbing issues?

00:23:56 Speaker_03
Yeah, it turns out they were a gnome or leprechaun or something. They're hiding in my walls.

00:24:01 Speaker_02
A lifelong vendetta against Wade. All the first ones I thought of all seemed to revolve around girls like yours did, Mark.

00:24:09 Speaker_02
And I think I've told I definitely told the story of how my buddy and I almost gave a girl a heart attack in the parking lot outside the movie theater because we thought it would be really clever to get some flowers and ask out.

00:24:21 Speaker_02
Anyway, that story is in another episode. I think I've told this story, but I don't remember. Did I tell you guys about when I asked a girl to dance in front of the entire marching band? Maybe?

00:24:31 Speaker_02
I'll keep it short in case I've told this before but this one makes me cringe now just because well the result was we went to the dance and I saw the girl for about 30 seconds before she left and never spoke to me again for the rest of my life.

00:24:44 Speaker_02
I think you have told this story. Yeah, that sounds familiar. But yeah, the band directors, for some reason, let me get up on the megaphone that they used during band practice to like talk to everyone.

00:24:55 Speaker_02
And I asked a girl to the dance on that in front of 220 whatever people I realized now she basically couldn't say no. And it was entirely my fault because I did. But that one sticks in my that one sticks with me.

00:25:09 Speaker_02
But I have an even cringier thing, I think, that I don't know if I've talked about on the show that I, my friend, one of my best friends in college who was, he was in music school.

00:25:18 Speaker_02
And so we had classes together and we hung out a lot and we always went to B-dubs, which you and I did quite a lot too, Mark. That's the place I went with my friends, my close friends in college. But he and I would go to be dubs.

00:25:29 Speaker_02
He was more focused on the ladies. He was he was always trying to like chat up some ladies and get some dates. And like that was his pastime. He liked he liked the ladies. We would whenever I hung out with him, he would just be like, oh, check her out.

00:25:43 Speaker_02
Man, she's cute. Check her out. Oh, look, she's so hot, whatever. And that's really cringy on its own.

00:25:49 Speaker_02
And also, if you're doing that in public, especially if it's a situation where the person is like your waitress, it's creepy because they might hear you or see you looking or leering or gawking or whatever. And so we thought we were really cool.

00:26:03 Speaker_02
And part of me wants to give him full credit for this, but I was there. I definitely helped come up with it. We thought it'd be really cool to come up with codes so that girls didn't know we were talking about them.

00:26:14 Speaker_02
And it was football related, which is never cringy. I remember that.

00:26:18 Speaker_02
And it started with if you see if you see a hot girl or if you see whatever, just we would one of us would look at the other and be like, hey, let's go Bearcats, which is the school mascot for the college we went to.

00:26:32 Speaker_02
And it evolved into a whole system. Touchdown was like really hot. Fumble was like really attractive, but terrible personality.

00:26:44 Speaker_02
There was like first down, second down, third down, which had to do something with like how interested you were in pursuing the girl based on whatever interactions there were. I don't even remember all of them, but there were.

00:26:58 Speaker_02
Basically any football term, we probably morphed it into some way to be like, ah, first down, let's go Bearcats, home run, you know? Fumble though. Like we had this whole stupid code.

00:27:10 Speaker_02
And I hate that that's a thing that I did and actively participated in for several years. But boy, did we. And boy, did those girls see through that code in half of a second. Because we were still, we thought we were so clever, right?

00:27:26 Speaker_02
But we would still just be like, Oh, touchdown. It's like, man, I wonder what that means, right? Like we were just creepy college dudes who were just like, oh, first down. Oh, yeah. And man, that was just an awful thing. But you know what?

00:27:43 Speaker_02
You do stuff sometimes.

00:27:44 Speaker_04
I'm going to interject with another cringe I have that I don't think I've told you guys about or anybody. So in the early days of my YouTube, before I lived in LA, I would fly out and do some stuff with other YouTubers and stuff like that.

00:27:56 Speaker_04
I had known about Egoraptor for a very long time because I was on Newgrounds a while ago. So he came in to the Maker Studios because he was also part of it, I believe, and, you know, It was like some collab thing.

00:28:06 Speaker_04
And so I met him for the first time and I was like, Hey, Markiplier. Also, I have to do this. And then I just, I basically, I think back, I'm like, why the fuck did I do this?

00:28:17 Speaker_04
I like, I kneeled down in front of him and I go as loud as I can in this office building. And I go like, to utter silence, like complete dead silence. And I get up and I'll be like, I've been a fan for you for a very long time. And he goes, Oh, right.

00:28:41 Speaker_04
And I think about that sometimes like, Jesus fuck. I'm shocked he even talked to me afterwards. I'm stunned. I can't believe it. But it's just like, that's the only time I've ever done that ever in my life.

00:28:52 Speaker_04
But it's just because like, wow, I didn't think I'd actually meet you in person. And then I will never do that again to anybody ever. And I think about that and I cringe.

00:29:01 Speaker_03
I had a not the same type of thing but in a similar vein we were at a convention and I think I had a panel or something might have been with you guys that we had I had to get to I was walking down the hallway and there were like some fans so I stopped and like took photos and signed some stuff whatever which is nice but I was like kind of in a hurry so I was like hurrying through like hey I gotta run can I like a photo or something but I gotta get to this thing one goes like Wade hey how are you and I was like hey how's it going I gotta run you want a photo or something and turns out it was you know guys remember Cinnamon Toast Ken it was Mary

00:29:31 Speaker_03
We just had dinner with them, like hung out with them and stuff, and I didn't recognize her because she was in full cosplay.

00:29:36 Speaker_04
Oh, well, that's okay.

00:29:38 Speaker_03
That's a little... And she's just like, wait, hey, how's it going? I was like, hey, you want a photo or something? And then she's like, it's Mary, and I was like... Mary who? I know this nursery rhyme. Yeah, a little lamb.

00:29:53 Speaker_03
Yeah, her cosplay was very good, but like it was just one of those things where I was in a hurry. Like I saw her. I was like, OK, hey, but like I did not recognize her at all. And even after she said her name, I was just like, cool.

00:30:06 Speaker_03
But once it clicked, it was one of those things where I was like, fuck, you know, like I feel so stupid.

00:30:12 Speaker_02
I feel like there's a large number of fan interaction type things I just don't generally deal with very smoothly that could go on the list of things that make me cringe internally.

00:30:23 Speaker_02
And if you've ever met me in public, probably I'm sorry, because probably I was quite the dick. It does make me cringe. I just don't know how to behave around other people. I don't like people. Okay. I don't like talking to people. Not that kind of person.

00:30:36 Speaker_04
So careful, careful, be careful around me. If you see me in public, be careful.

00:30:42 Speaker_03
But I told you guys about the movie theater, whenever I went to a movie theater with some people and they were talkers, which I cannot stand. Oh, I hate that. So afterward, we're outside and I was accosting them.

00:30:52 Speaker_03
I was like, I am never going to a movie with you guys again. I kept trying to tell you, stop talking. You didn't stop talking. Like you were ruining the movie for me, much less everyone around us. I was a bit more pissed off.

00:31:03 Speaker_03
And like, literally as I finished like chewing them out, I had a tap on the shoulder. I turned around and there were like three people waiting. They're like, are you waiting? Can we get a photo?

00:31:12 Speaker_03
Just like, I don't know what I was like dealing with these family members of mine, but I'm sure it wasn't good. And it was just, I felt so fucking just embarrassed.

00:31:21 Speaker_03
I don't know, I guess they had seen me chewing people out for being total assholes during the movie. But man, that was another one that stuck with me.

00:31:27 Speaker_04
They were probably on your side. One of the worst places I got recognized was in a hospital waiting room.

00:31:34 Speaker_03
I don't think so.

00:31:35 Speaker_04
I don't think so. So it's like, you know, I've been in a hospital and so it's crowded one day and I'm like, wow, my gut. Oh. And so I because I go in the emergency room and, you know, I tell him like, oh, man, I got poop backed up.

00:31:48 Speaker_04
And so I go to sit and they're like, you know, they give you the van and you go sit. We'll call you in. It's this one guy I passed by was like, hey, are you Markiplier? As soon as I walked by him and I go like, yeah. And he goes like, that's really cool.

00:32:00 Speaker_04
And I go like, yeah, OK. So I go sit down and then when they call me, you know, they say your name really loud. So like, Mark Fishback! And then I get up and I hobble up and it was a crowded waiting room.

00:32:14 Speaker_04
So they only went in because you do the triage and they're like, make sure you're not dying right away. And then they send you back out if you're not in super death mode. And then as soon as I got back out, there was a bunch of people.

00:32:27 Speaker_04
Just pointing at me as I'm like I was wondering if there was gonna be like a snuck photo like of me and my chair just like So I just yeah, that was a cringe nothing. I specifically did wrong, but it was a situation that I think about occasionally

00:32:46 Speaker_03
Yeah, that's not a good place to be found. Thankfully, this was before we did content, but I think I told you guys this story as well.

00:32:52 Speaker_03
Whenever I had the tailbone surgery and there was like the cute lady that took me back and I was like, well, I'm not gonna hit on somebody at work, whatever. Like you had that moment where it's like, like she's very attractive.

00:33:02 Speaker_03
I want to talk to her more, but like not going to do it here. Not when she's like stuck dealing with me. And then the doctor called her in to help remove the stitches from my ass. And it was like, Glad we didn't have any kind of conversation.

00:33:13 Speaker_03
We never will ever again. Goodbye. You didn't hear her behind you go, wow. I don't think there was much wow to the stitch removal.

00:33:26 Speaker_02
Your crack is surprisingly clean, especially for such a gross wounded area.

00:33:31 Speaker_03
Oh, he's packing every night like the doctor told him to.

00:33:37 Speaker_02
I played tuba for a long time and I played a lot of gigs with my band and I played a lot of concerts.

00:33:44 Speaker_02
And like, as a musician, it's important to be able to take your failures in stride and just keep moving because you're going to play a hilariously wrong note. You're going to fall right in a rest. You're going to do something stupid.

00:33:56 Speaker_02
Like the goal is to not, but if you play it, if you play enough concerts and stuff like you're, you're going to make some kind of mistake where the entire auditorium hears you fuck up real bad.

00:34:06 Speaker_02
The conductor shoots you a glare, and everyone around you is kind of like... idiot. And like that happens, but there's one that I've never gotten past. It was a weird gig.

00:34:16 Speaker_02
It was, I was playing with my funk band that I played with in college and we were playing at like a block party. These people had hired us just to come to their street and play.

00:34:25 Speaker_02
We just set up in someone's front yard and just played and they had like some kegs out. They literally like blocked the street, like old school block party. It was very cool. And they literally, they like, there was a keg set up by the band basically.

00:34:38 Speaker_02
Maybe not. Maybe we were set up by the keg. Maybe that was strategic. But anyway, there was a lot of drinking and like it was fun gig and everyone was getting real loose. And at some point.

00:34:46 Speaker_02
So my role in this band was I was basically like the rhythm section. I did not play solos. I did not play like the melody. I was like the equivalent to like a bass guitar or upright bass who kind of hides in the back of the ensemble. And I was not

00:35:03 Speaker_02
I'm I had played jazz, but I'm not like trained in jazz soloing. I'm not good at it. I understand. I understood it in principle, but I never did it. Right. And we're all getting loose, having a good time. And they called a song.

00:35:16 Speaker_02
And out of nowhere in the middle of the song, there's usually just a Barry Sachs solo where he just does his own thing and goes completely apeshit crazy. They pointed at Phil and were like, Phil solo.

00:35:26 Speaker_02
And then someone up front who was in charge was like, Bob, go with him. And I literally was like, Uh, I don't know. And they're like, go, go, go. They like push me up to the front.

00:35:41 Speaker_02
So I'm standing up in front of the ensemble and I just could not have musically shit my pants any harder than I did. Like Phil the guy who played Barry Sachs was is still one of the best like sax players. I know he's amazing His solos are always cool.

00:35:57 Speaker_02
And so and it turned into a thing where it was like we were trading bars so he'd play a couple measures and then it was my turn and so he would play some just fucking awesome just And then everyone would look at me and I effectively was just like

00:36:13 Speaker_02
Like if I could have left after that, I would have literally just walked with my Susan phone on my body. Just leave, walk to my car, get in and drive away in front of everyone. It was just, I mean, I was a little drunk. I don't do that.

00:36:27 Speaker_02
And they thought it'd be funny. They were like, ah, he'll figure it out. Like he's a pro. I am not. I think that probably damaged my reputation to all all of my bandmates minds permanently after that. But man, I still I can't let it go.

00:36:40 Speaker_02
It makes everything inside me hurt that I did that. And there were like 20 people who saw it. And I'm still just like, I bet they fucking remember that one time they saw that guy.

00:36:50 Speaker_02
So I think he was too cool and thought he could play a solo like the cool instruments.

00:36:57 Speaker_04
Haunts my dreams. It was awful as a palate cleanser to that I recently Amy took me out to this special dinner She'd been planning it for months, right?

00:37:07 Speaker_04
She didn't tell me what it was, but she wanted to tell me super badly the whole time So we're on the way over months build up and I'm like, oh man, I don't know. Don't tell me, though. And we get there.

00:37:18 Speaker_04
We pull up to this place called Spaghetti Spaghetti. And I'm like, the fuck is going on at this spaghetti place? But we get in there and it's a jazz club also. And so they have a live band there and it's Candy Dolpher. You guys know Candy Dolpher? What?

00:37:37 Speaker_03
No.

00:37:38 Speaker_04
Candy Dolpher. Candy Dolpher. So when I got when I got my car when I came out to LA, it had like, you know, the the radio where you type in a keyword and it will generate like an auto playlist of that not

00:37:50 Speaker_04
of that song, if you're looking for specific specific song, you're shit out of luck. But if you want, you know, a genre, so I typed in smooth jazz and up came a song called smooth by Candy Dolpher. And so this was like nine years ago now.

00:38:02 Speaker_04
And so then became the tradition that that radio has been in my car ever since. And I hit it every once in a while if I want smooth jazz. It's like, you know, it's smooth jazz. It's good. Best live performance I've fucking seen ever. It's incredible.

00:38:15 Speaker_04
The audience was like me, Amy, and then everyone else was 60 plus. She apparently does a lot of jazz cruises. And the demographic for that is it skews older, but everyone, everyone, and some people looked like they were 80.

00:38:30 Speaker_04
Everyone by the end of that show was on their feet.

00:38:32 Speaker_04
it was incredible just an outstanding like she's a saxophone player and she's fucking amazing and then the rest of the band was great too uh and and it was it was funny because comparatively there was a trumpet player that came up there towards the end of the show and i could tell like he was a little nervous and hadn't warmed up and he did a little bit of solo but

00:38:50 Speaker_04
Comparatively, he was a pretty decent trumpet player as a trumpet player myself. But it was it was night and day compared to this like fucking artist up there able to just do anything improvisationally.

00:39:02 Speaker_04
You'd never expect it, but it was one of the best live shows I've been to. But what it is like, I remember that trumpet player who messed up a few notes. I remember them very specifically. So if you were hoping people didn't forget about that.

00:39:15 Speaker_04
No, I remember that specifically, Bob.

00:39:17 Speaker_02
They remember. Man, Candy Dolpher has some interesting facts about her. Yeah, she's been working forever, apparently. A Dutch jazz and pop saxophone player. Two of my favorite facts I've read on the Wikipedia.

00:39:31 Speaker_02
Her apparently first album in 1990 was called Sexuality. Oh, yeah, it was. Also, her father was also a musician, Hans Dolpher. And in 2001, they made a joint album where they made a bunch of songs together. And the album was titled Dolpher, Dolpher.

00:39:51 Speaker_02
Just awesome. No, she seems like kind of a legend. She toured with Prince. Apparently she's featured by Van Morrison on a track performed with Alan Parsons and she's touring right now.

00:40:03 Speaker_04
Apparently that spaghettini dinner was the kickoff for her tour, so I don't know exactly where she's going to be, but I highly recommend it was a great time.

00:40:13 Speaker_03
I'm glad it worked out well and that like you enjoyed the performance and you enjoyed her because I thought the story was going in a way where it's like you accidentally found this on the radio and then like Amy just saw that artist was like, Mark must be a fan.

00:40:25 Speaker_03
They're here. I'm going to get tickets. It was actually someone you absolutely despised. It's like the whole time you're like, this is great.

00:40:31 Speaker_04
No, no, no. Oh, yeah, she's only doing like four US shows. Two in the same place in Napa and then one in Florida and then off to Europe. So for those in Europe, you are in luck. Anyway, more cringe.

00:40:44 Speaker_03
Any more cringe? Secondhand cringe? Okay. Sure. This was a combination of like the Karen and cringe all in one. Molly used to work like at a retail store and they had like a returns department.

00:40:58 Speaker_03
And I remember one day walking through there, I went to see her and then I was like walking around and there was someone that was very upset, it was very upset at the returns department.

00:41:05 Speaker_03
And she was waiting, there was a long line, I think it was like post-holiday or something. She said something, she finally got up to her turn, she said something like, fuck, what did she say? Like, if you used both hands, this would go a lot faster.

00:41:16 Speaker_03
And the person working returns like held up their arm and like their hand was just like in a full fucking cast. And the lady like went from being an asshole to kind of like.

00:41:27 Speaker_03
And then just like puffed for a minute, didn't apologize, because she's like, well, I have to hold my ground. But it was very obvious that like she'd felt like you could tell it hit her like a fucking ton of breaks.

00:41:39 Speaker_03
And I was like, I wonder if she's going to say like, well, if your hands broken, you shouldn't be at work. I thought maybe we should go further off or apologize. But it was neither.

00:41:47 Speaker_03
It was just kind of like huffing silence of like, I've been bested, but I'm an asshole and I will not admit to being. And I was just like, oh man, that's oh, I hate even for an asshole. You hate them. Oh, I hate to see that.

00:42:01 Speaker_03
I don't know why that one stuck out. But man, just the whole thing, like just what do you see someone go through a moment like that where they realize, oh, oh, I hate that feeling. I can't watch movies that have cringe. I can't stand that feeling.

00:42:13 Speaker_02
I love the specific context you're talking about, though, where someone is an asshole and then it it absolutely like washes back in their face. I actually really love that. In general, I can't stand cringy, but I don't find that cringy.

00:42:25 Speaker_02
I find that very, like, satisfying. It's even better if they could just like swallow their pride and be like, ah, shit, sorry. But when they don't, God, it just hits so good.

00:42:35 Speaker_02
I can imagine her standing there just huffing, like looking for someone to be an ally that she could talk shit to. And everyone around her is kind of just like, Ugh. No, you're the awful one, lady. Please leave.

00:42:46 Speaker_03
I'm glad she got her just dessert, but there's still like a, oh, that icky feeling. I can't stand that icky feeling. Glad it happened to her, not somebody else in line, but like, man. Well, someone else wouldn't have done that. That's true.

00:42:58 Speaker_03
That's also true.

00:42:59 Speaker_02
I don't know if this counts. Tell me if this counts. I don't like talking about what I do. Like one of the standard small talk questions is people, Oh, what do you do? What do you, what's your job? What do you do for a living? Whatever.

00:43:08 Speaker_02
And I don't mind talking about it, but I, I always try and downplay it. Like I'm not, I'm not just like, Oh, I'm on hit podcast. Distractible. Have you heard of it? I was like, ah, you know, I do.

00:43:18 Speaker_02
YouTube and do a podcast and like, it's going well, it's fine. When it comes up with family, it always makes me cringe. And it's not that like, it's the family is really chill. It's not that like, they're like, Oh, get a real job.

00:43:30 Speaker_02
Like, we're doing fine. I'm doing fine. My family is good. And we're supported. And it's good. It's the content of it. Because when it's family, they're always like, Oh, what are you, what are you doing these? Are you still doing YouTube?

00:43:41 Speaker_02
It's like, Oh, well, I started doing this podcast. And they're like, Oh, what's it called? I want to go listen to it. We should put it on the whole, the whole house right now. So that next step where they're like, what episode do you recommend?

00:43:54 Speaker_02
And I'm like, Oh, grandma. Wow. I don't know if you'd really care for it. It's not that it's a bad podcast.

00:44:04 Speaker_02
It's not great, but like, I feel like it always comes to, and it happens to like my parents will, or, you know, Manny's parents will like introduce us or, oh, this happened at our anniversary party specifically.

00:44:14 Speaker_02
Manny's dad, uh, or parents had invited friends to the anniversary party we had. They are teachers. And so a lot of their friends are teachers. And he was like, These two guys, you know them, they're teachers. They're coming to the party.

00:44:24 Speaker_02
They're they're trying to start their own podcast. Can you talk to them about like, what do you need to do for a podcast? And I was like, I can already see where this is going, but I can't really say no. So sure.

00:44:35 Speaker_02
And they're like, yeah, we want to do a podcast about like, you know, teaching and positive stuff and like children appropriate, but also parents will find it useful. Can you help us? And I was like,

00:44:47 Speaker_02
a good rule would be not to swear so much you should do and you're going to want a microphones like man am I not the one to ask that sort of question to I mean I'm proud of this show and honestly it's really cool and when I'm talking to like friends yeah I listen to it you might like it I don't know but it's specifically like family and friends of family it's always just like

00:45:09 Speaker_03
Yeah, the family that still thinks you don't curse like 50 years later, and then they're like, I listened to that episode where you guys talked about sex a lot. I was like, oh, which one?

00:45:18 Speaker_02
We tried to listen to this week's episode, and we got to the part about Sonic jizzing on his own quills through space-time portals, and we were like, ah, maybe this one's not for us. Alright, sorry, Grandma.

00:45:32 Speaker_04
Try again next week, I guess. We'll try and chill out a little. That's why it's kind of nice sometimes that the default order on some places is most recent. You don't need to start with number one if you don't want to. You really don't, everybody.

00:45:46 Speaker_04
This episode is brought to you by Coca-Cola Creations. What happens when the best drink and the best cookie in the world get together? The best become besties! Let's taste the new Coca-Cola Oreo Zero Sugar Limited Edition.

00:45:58 Speaker_02
Mark, are you- do you have yours? Are you excited? They sent us these special, and then we're gonna- we're gonna try them.

00:46:03 Speaker_04
I've been in an undisclosed location, kind of in a- Sucks to be you!

00:46:06 Speaker_03
Cheers, Bob!

00:46:07 Speaker_04
Yeah! I actually haven't had like a tasty treat in a while. It's been... It's like if Oreos was a drink, honestly.

00:46:15 Speaker_03
It's kind of an unexpected flavor, but it's almost like kind of like the icing of an Oreo.

00:46:19 Speaker_02
What do you think, Mark?

00:46:20 Speaker_04
Editors, put in the sound of me glugging. It's great, guys. So good. Try the new Coca-Cola Oreo Zero Sugar Limited Edition. Besties for a limited time. Taste it while it lasts. Copyright 2024, The Coca-Cola Company.

00:46:36 Speaker_04
Copyright 2024, Mondelēz International Group.

00:46:42 Speaker_02
This episode is brought to you by Batman Arkham Shadow, available only on MetaQuest 3 and 3S. I'm just excited to be able to use Batman's gadgets.

00:46:51 Speaker_03
Shotglove punch the Rat King. Just the bat versus the rat.

00:46:56 Speaker_02
That's going to make for some really good headlines. Become the knight. Batman Arkham Shadow is included when you buy MetaQuest 3 or 3S. Available now. Learn more at BatmanArkhamShadow.com.

00:47:14 Speaker_03
Alright, any last minute cringe? I don't think so, just other stories I've already talked about. Hugging the teacher whenever she was going to go hug the person behind me. What? I think I've told that one.

00:47:24 Speaker_03
I was talking to my history teacher, and I was talking about the project that I brought out.

00:47:28 Speaker_03
I made this really cool display, and I was going to go pick it up, and she and I were talking, and then I was going to go leave, and she just opens her arms for a hug, and I was like, alright, I guess, and I hugged her, and she looked at me weird, and it turned out she had a family member walking in the room behind me, but I had no idea.

00:47:44 Speaker_03
She walked past me with the hug them. I was like, I just left. Oh wait, how old are you? How old are you? Oh dude, this was 9th or 10th grade.

00:47:52 Speaker_01
Oh, so it was way less! Yes, man!

00:47:56 Speaker_03
You were like 8, I can understand that. I wasn't young, no man! So you're not only hugging her, you're way taller at this point, yeah. I was 6 foot 2 or 3 or 4 and I was a fully grown man.

00:48:10 Speaker_03
And she's like a five foot teacher, so I was like, this is weird, but I guess if you want a hug, and I leaned down, gave her a hug, and she looked at me like, the fuck did you do that for? It was awful.

00:48:20 Speaker_04
That's really funny.

00:48:22 Speaker_03
I haven't heard that one. I swear I told that story here before, but God, I hated it.

00:48:27 Speaker_04
I don't remember hearing it, and I'll count it.

00:48:28 Speaker_03
That's the first one I always think of. I just didn't tell it cause I thought I already had, but when I think of cringe, it's always that moment. Cause she and her, whoever it was, sister, aunt, whatever. They both looked at me like, the fuck?

00:48:39 Speaker_03
And I was like, man, I'm just gonna go now. Then you strutted out that door, elbows high. It was awkward. Like, go to say something. Can't think of what to say. Can't apologize.

00:48:53 Speaker_03
So I just looked, stutter stepped, looked again, and then just fucking beelined it out of there. That's really great. Oh god, I hate thinking about that moment. It's like the high five thing. What high five thing?

00:49:05 Speaker_03
When people like go to high five or wave at somebody and you walk up and either wave at them or high five them and it's like it's meant for the person behind you.

00:49:12 Speaker_04
Oh, I see. It's not something you did just in general. Yeah, no, but that's worse. Yeah, the hugging is that's worse. Yeah.

00:49:17 Speaker_03
Yeah, I was like, why does my teacher want to hug me? This is weird, but like, okay, I'll do it.

00:49:22 Speaker_04
You hug her and then like, why did you want to hug me? Why did you want that?

00:49:26 Speaker_03
I was like, I didn't think we were that close, but it's been a hard year, I guess. You whisper in her ear, it's been a real hard year. I put a lot into this project, thank you.

00:49:40 Speaker_04
Oh, I hate it. Oh, man. No, this news to me is great. That's all the cringe we got. I do have one more thing to talk about, but Bob, I'll give you one last chance.

00:49:49 Speaker_02
OK, I don't think I've told this story before. I've been very lucky. My parents love traveling. And so my brother and I and my parents traveled quite a bit. like when I was in sort of like middle school, high school age.

00:49:59 Speaker_02
And one of the things that I got to go on was we went to Italy one time. And we while in Italy, we went on like a planned trip, whereas like you buy a ticket, you meet at a place, you get on a bus, they take you somewhere.

00:50:12 Speaker_02
And what it was, it was like a wine tasting thing. And I was like a junior in high school or something like I was old enough where in Europe it was totally normal for me to like go and have a drink with my family and it was not a big deal.

00:50:24 Speaker_02
And so we went and it was pretty fun. I don't care for wine, but like it was wine tasting. But there was also like cool cheeses and, you know, Italian stuff. And we got to see how they made olive oil and we saw some of the vines and the olive trees.

00:50:36 Speaker_02
It's very cool. And then we all we did this. It was a big tour group and we got back on the bus afterwards. You were not supposed to have taken anything with you.

00:50:45 Speaker_02
You were supposed to have left it all there and like have your fill and then we'll get on the bus and head back. And there was another American teenager on the bus.

00:50:54 Speaker_02
And he had, as everyone was filtering over to the bus, gone to the table where all the scraps were, taken a wine bottle and then dumped the remnants of every other wine bottle he could get his hands on into this one bottle because he was getting lit.

00:51:09 Speaker_02
He was here to party. If you're an American and you've traveled abroad, you've probably experienced this. But in general, it's kind of a stereotype and it's generally true.

00:51:17 Speaker_02
Other people kind of hate Americans as tourists, like Europeans broadly think Americans are annoying and obnoxious because we're kind of loud. Europeans are comparatively pretty low key, pretty like quiet and very mindful, very demure.

00:51:31 Speaker_02
But like my family is pretty chill and pretty low key. So we didn't really stick out. We hadn't really had any problems, but we were sitting right next to the family.

00:51:38 Speaker_02
This other dude was from who we got on the bus and he was already drunk and he was like chugging this bottle of mixed wine remnants in the back of the bus. He's like yelling. He's flirting with any woman who appears to be under the age of 40.

00:51:53 Speaker_02
I'm I'm literally sitting across the aisle from him right next to him. And I swear to God, the whole bus lumped us all together. Cause he was just the most stereotypically like obnoxious American douchebag.

00:52:04 Speaker_02
He was like hitting on women and they were like, I would like to not talk to you anymore. Please don't talk to me. And he was like, Oh, come on, babe. Don't be like that. Like that kind of shit where it's like, ugh.

00:52:14 Speaker_02
And I that whole bus ride was just one epic cringe, not for anything I did. I just sat there and like every once in a while would be like, hey, dude, why don't you just sit down and like not be like that? But I never have.

00:52:26 Speaker_02
I felt more like I was out of place as an American. And that whole experience, like I get why other cultures might find some Americans annoying. That was not great. And I don't think he was annoying because he's an American necessarily.

00:52:38 Speaker_02
He's just kind of an asshole. That memory is very cringy for me. Very secondhand cringy. And mostly I felt bad for all the women on the bus. Literally anyone who wasn't apparently like obviously a grandmother. He was just hitting on women twice his age.

00:52:52 Speaker_02
Women sitting with their husbands. He didn't give a shit. He was like so drunk. I don't know where that dude ended up because I don't know who he is, but I hope it got better. Busboy. Terrible. Sound very engaged.

00:53:03 Speaker_04
What did you say? I wasn't listening the entire time.

00:53:07 Speaker_03
All right, no no no I got being lumped in with people like that and having nothing you can do that sucks Like just knowing that people are associating you and it's like I don't know Like what are you gonna do wear a shirt whenever I'm on vacation?

00:53:19 Speaker_02
It's like I look I'm American, but I'm not with them Okay, I'm the good kind of American. Did you say that loudly? Did you scream it? I would never I'm the good kind of American I'm too quiet you hug someone whisper in there.

00:53:31 Speaker_04
I'm the good American I Don't worry."

00:53:33 Speaker_02
And they'd be like, you can't be the good American. You're too fat. I'd be like, no, you're right.

00:53:38 Speaker_04
Give me some more pizza. Okay. I'm going to call it there because for this episode, I want to award some bonus points like Mario Party style, because there's a few categories that I was thinking of while I wasn't listening to whatever Bob said.

00:53:51 Speaker_04
Don't worry, I gave you a point for it. I don't know if I believe you. Oh, I feel a little cringe right now. No, no, don't feel cringe. Okay, so I have a few categories here. We'll go through them one at a time.

00:54:01 Speaker_04
I want you guys to decide which one of these cringe moments was the most cringey. I want to give a bonus point for the most cringey moment of these so far. Do you need a recap of the cringe?

00:54:13 Speaker_04
Oh, I thought maybe you had narrowed down to the ones you- I have one that I would pick, but I kind of want to also get your input in on this.

00:54:19 Speaker_02
I like the teacher hug. I know that's one of the more recent ones. Definitely competes for cringiest moment.

00:54:25 Speaker_04
That's my least favorite one that made me cringe the most. And that was like what got me started on like, oh, there should be bonus points here because some of these are like oof.

00:54:35 Speaker_03
Living it, that's the worst one I've lived.

00:54:37 Speaker_04
Yeah, it's pretty bad. That's I think that beats most of my cringe in my life that I'll publicly admit to. I'm shocked you talked about it. So you get a bonus point for that. Plus one worth it. Most recent cringe.

00:54:51 Speaker_04
Which one of these took place most recently? Because you've got I need to find out when these were because you got the ass nurse. But that was that was a while ago.

00:55:01 Speaker_03
The one with Mary would have been the most recent one for me.

00:55:04 Speaker_04
Okay, that would have been what, 8, 9... 2015, 2016, 8 or 9 years ago? 9, 8 years ago, okay. Musically shit my pants, Bob, whenever that was. That would have been 10 or 11 years ago. So that was a while ago.

00:55:19 Speaker_04
And then you got the, the, let's play it in the whole house family moment. Those are recent. That would have been recent.

00:55:25 Speaker_02
I've definitely had those in the last couple years. Well, it's specifically I told a story about the anniversary party people that was in June of this year. That's going to be tough to beat.

00:55:34 Speaker_03
I think you're only competing with yourself for most recent, Bob. I think either way you've got it.

00:55:39 Speaker_04
All right, let's give that to Bob. Well, let's see how many points I can earn. Let's keep going. Earliest cringe. Which one of these cringes took place earliest in life? Uh, Wade, you don't have too many that are like early.

00:55:50 Speaker_04
I thought Hug My Teacher was gonna be pretty early, but that... Nope, that was high school. But also, Bob, I don't think you have too many early ones. No, mine are all focused around like high school, college mostly.

00:56:01 Speaker_04
So I wanna know which one of these is actually the earliest. Cause you got the football date declaration. Uh, or no, band date declaration. That was like middle of high school.

00:56:12 Speaker_03
I will say mine was probably 2004, early 2004.

00:56:16 Speaker_02
Mine was probably more like fall of 2005 when I stood up and talked and asked the girl out of the dance on the in front of everybody.

00:56:24 Speaker_04
So that means hugged my teacher might have been also the earliest

00:56:29 Speaker_03
Man, I'm so glad that we keep bringing that one up and just it keeps winning awards.

00:56:33 Speaker_02
That's that's just such a good one. It's a strong candidate.

00:56:37 Speaker_03
Dude, I get the heebie-jeebies. I want to throw up every time I think about that moment.

00:56:40 Speaker_04
All right, well, there's one more category that might have no impact. I don't know if this was, though, because I want to know which one of these cringe moments had the biggest impact on your life trajectory.

00:56:54 Speaker_04
Cause there's some cringe in my life that I've experienced that I'm like, I will never ever do that again. I never want to experience that. I'm going to change the person who I am.

00:57:05 Speaker_04
I'm not saying these are that, but I want to know which one of these had the biggest impact on your life and where it is today.

00:57:12 Speaker_02
That's a that's a toss up for me. I think it was a musically shit. My pants musically shit. My pants is one of the two that that one had a big impact on how I felt about my skills and how I saw myself.

00:57:24 Speaker_02
But I think the one that might add a bigger impact on like changing who I am long term was the the code language for talking about girls. That's a thing I look back on a lot and I'm like, don't be that guy. You've done that.

00:57:40 Speaker_02
Don't be like, I'll have thoughts and I compare them directly to that where I'm like, am I being an asshole? And luckily, I think I have changed a lot and I'm not like that anymore.

00:57:49 Speaker_02
But like, it's a big yardstick for me long term of like, I compare a lot of stuff to that. And a lot of decisions I've made were compared to that before I committed to things.

00:57:58 Speaker_03
I don't know that occasionally looking behind me to make sure someone's actually talking to me is as big of an impact as

00:58:04 Speaker_02
You never hugged a teacher again. You had a philosophy teacher in Highland College who begged you to hug them because you were just the best student he had ever had.

00:58:13 Speaker_03
Please, one hug would save my life. Nope, not done it. I did it once.

00:58:18 Speaker_02
CPR is basically a open-faced hug. I refuse.

00:58:24 Speaker_04
Alright, so we're giving it to football misogyny. Football misogyny, that's a good way to summarize that one, yes. Alright, and that's the only categories I got unless you guys can think of another for bonus points.

00:58:36 Speaker_04
Usually Mario Party doesn't have that many. I think those were good categories. Okay, so this is going to be tough to tabulate because now the scoring has become very complex.

00:58:45 Speaker_04
So do not look into who I'm reading first because I have no idea what the points are. Yes! Yes. Bob, you have one for what's the deal with copiers? All right, I'll do it. We'll do it round robin style. No! You got one for that. Wade, you got how much lore?

00:59:01 Speaker_04
None. And for the Warhammer, Bob, you mentioned you were reading Horus Heresy, so you get a point for that. Wade, I didn't think of you coming back from that. It made me laugh. Yeah, fuck you, man. I try to be nice. Bob, you got a point for Arnar Marnarch.

00:59:17 Speaker_04
Very funny. Wade you got the you too cringe for the dead dog. Oh god. I forgot about that one again.

00:59:25 Speaker_04
Oh Bob I gave you half a point for the band-aid because you had told that before okay But I still wanted to give you something Wade you have super awkward Mary which I believe her username is super super Mary face Yeah, thanks, man.

00:59:39 Speaker_03
We don't have to go through the points actually can we just he just took out him all right?

00:59:42 Speaker_04
All right, Bob, you got football misogyny with the bonus point. Wade, you got recognized in a movie for screaming at people. I can't remember, you said, probably I'm sorry is what I wrote down, Bob. What was that for?

00:59:55 Speaker_04
That wasn't the being an American tourist one, was it? No, no, this was earlier. Well, you got a point for it, so I'm not going to discount it, so. Yeah, count it. Keep the point on there. That counts. Wade, you got the ass nurse point.

01:00:07 Speaker_04
You musically shit my pants, Bob. You got another point for that. Cringe Karen, Wade, you got a point for that. Let's play it in the whole house. You got that, plus a bonus point for most recent.

01:00:18 Speaker_04
And then Wade hugged my teacher, got you one point, plus another point, plus another point. And then, the story that I definitely listened to, Bob got the busboy point. Which, damn, by one half point, you eked it.

01:00:39 Speaker_04
This is the most meticulous scorekeeping I think I've ever told, I've ever taken. But I don't know what probably I'm sorry was for. What was that for? I really can't remember what that was. Wait, do you want to protest that? I have no idea.

01:00:52 Speaker_03
If you guys don't remember, the chance of me remembering is about zilch.

01:00:55 Speaker_04
In the scoring, what did that come between? That was between football misogyny and musically shit my pants.

01:01:02 Speaker_03
It must have been a quip to like either a story I told or you told or... Yeah, I don't think that was its own story.

01:01:07 Speaker_02
I think that must have been something I chimed in on. What was that paired up with on Wade's side? I think it would have been...

01:01:14 Speaker_04
Movie cringe or ass nurse something like that. I can't remember. I apologize if that's a weak point there But I wrote it down. So I want to count it.

01:01:21 Speaker_03
No, it's fair if you wrote I mean listen, we all have our point-keeping and we don't always remember what the hell they are So I can't even argue it cuz I do it.

01:01:28 Speaker_04
So, all right so Bob with half a point and my bias towards Bob apparently continues to this day and Even though the cringiest thing here definitely was Wade's hugging his teacher, I think we'll all take away from that in this episode, that moment.

01:01:42 Speaker_04
It got three points. It's the highest scoring and cringe of the day, and yet Bob still squeaked it with a story he already told.

01:01:49 Speaker_02
It's about quantity, not quality. That's what I like to say.

01:01:52 Speaker_04
Yeah, it sure is. It sure is. So, Bob, hold on. Wade, Winnerspeak. Losers.

01:02:02 Speaker_03
Uh, I don't know that there is a winner today. I know Bob won with points, but like, I feel like, I don't know, I can't stand cringe. I can't stand good cringe, bad cringe, deserved cringe. I avoid it like the plague.

01:02:13 Speaker_03
I fast forward or mute things sometimes when I feel like it's about to be cringe. I walk out of the room. I can't handle it. I'm glad I didn't win this episode. I hate cringe. If you enjoy cringe, you make me cringe and I probably hate you. Wow.

01:02:27 Speaker_04
That's bold. Um, okay. Mean, but fair, I guess.

01:02:30 Speaker_02
All right, Bob. Probably. Sorry. Wade has a point. I don't know if there are any winners in today's episode. I don't like cringe either. I don't care for it. It makes me cringe, and I don't enjoy that. And if you do, I'm with Wade.

01:02:42 Speaker_02
But there is one thing that I think does make me a winner and make Wade a loser, and that's that at least I didn't hug my teacher. All right, man.

01:02:52 Speaker_03
It was just her and I in the room. It was just the two of us. She opened her arms.

01:02:57 Speaker_02
Uh-huh. I'll always have that going for me. I think we all remember.

01:03:03 Speaker_03
Didn't know her fucking sister could roll a 20 on a fucking stealth check.

01:03:06 Speaker_02
So yeah, anyway, I win because that happened.

01:03:09 Speaker_04
Yeah, I suppose. That's only fair. Alright, well, thank you everybody for cringing in this episode. If you dare, post your cringiest moments on the subreddit. Reddit.com slash r slash distractible.

01:03:21 Speaker_04
Also, apparently, this is way late by the time you'll hear this, but Edge of Sleep is out now, apparently. So, there you go. Have watched it. Yes, have. You better have by the time you hear this. So yeah, check out Bob, MySkirm, Wade, LordMinion777.

01:03:35 Speaker_04
DistractibleStore.com is our merch. It'll change soon. The address of the merch- It'll change. Thank you. I've been Markiplier. CringeCast out.